Is this scary to you

[Scarlett]

We live in a small town. My parents live at the edge of town in a small neighborhood (2 streets- 7 occupied homes total) that dead ends on both of the streets. Beyond the dead end is some woods, some pasture land.  They know all of their neighbors no red flags with any of them. 
But for a couple of months someone has been going through their trash can that is right up next to their attached garage and house.
 

They are obviously looking for food (several containers of food have been taken out and the food gone but container left behind). My dad keeps a big rock on top of the trash can lid and it is always replaced. My dad is now noticing that the trash bags are sliced open and pilfered through. 
 

I am sure it is a hungry homeless person. There is an abandoned trailer across the street and I fear a homeless person is living there.  I am frankly scared that something dangerous could happen to my elderly parents. My mom thinks I am ridiculous and she is more concerned about someone getting sick from food in the garbage than she is someone harming them . 

They have cameras but this trash can sits outside of any view. Dh installed a ring camera today that will pick up the trash can. 
 

I can’t seem to get my mom to comprehend that homeless people are often addicts, mentally ill or both and they are desperate. Desperate enough to eat out of the trash. To me it is scary. 
 

What do you think? 

[wisdomandtreasures]

Yes, I'd be freaked out, too. 

[Pawz4me]

I wouldn't like it but I don't think I'd go so far as to say I'd be scared. But that's me, based on my neighborhood.

I'd probably try to make room for the trash can in the garage, and then keep watch on the camera to make sure there was no more messing around.

[Scarlett]

11 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

I wouldn't like it but I don't think I'd go so far as to say I'd be scared. But that's me, based on my neighborhood.

I'd probably try to make room for the trash can in the garage, and then keep watch on the camera to make sure there was no more messing around.

What do you mean based on your neighborhood?

[Miss Tick]

Have they considered putting out some food for the homeless person? Then perhaps that person won't feel the need to go through their trash.

(I don't mean this in a confrontational way)

[Scarlett]

Just now, Miss Tick said:

Have they considered putting out some food for the homeless person? Then perhaps that person won't feel the need to go through their trash.

(I don't mean this in a confrontational way)

I have a lot of feelings for people who are so hungry they go through strangers trash to survive. But I do not think it is safe for two people 79/86 to be enabling this conduct. 

[Pawz4me]

10 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

What do you mean based on your neighborhood?

My neighborhood is super safe. So I'd probably tend to think the person needed help more than I needed to be afraid of them.

[Scarlett]

2 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

My neighborhood is super safe. So I'd probably tend to think the person needed help more than I needed to be afraid of them.

Would not people going through your trash raise an alarm to make one think maybe it is no longer a super safe neighborhood?

[Lecka]

I don’t think this would scare me, because its been going on, it is stable where it’s at.  If it escalated I could become scared.  

This is how I think a lot, if something hasn’t been a problem yet, it is likely to remain “not a problem.”  If it starts to escalate I do worry.

 

I can see this being step 1 of a slippery slope, but I don’t think it’s a slippery slope yet.  
 

But it’s hard for me to imagine, maybe I would worry more if I was in this situation.  

[Lecka]

Just now, Scarlett said:

Would not people going through your trash raise an alarm to make one think maybe it is no longer a super safe neighborhood?

No, I don’t think so.  This could happen in my neighborhood and I have a safe neighborhood.  I don’t think I would ever notice.  

[KungFuPanda]

Did the SEE a person? A rock wouldn’t stop a bear or raccoon. I live in the suburbs and I’d still suspect a raccoon first. 

[Scarlett]

1 minute ago, KungFuPanda said:

Did the SEE a person? A rock wouldn’t stop a bear or raccoon. I live in the suburbs and I’d still suspect a raccoon first. 

A raccoon is not putting that big rock back on the lid. Or opening the zip lock bag and remind the food and then placing the bag on top of the trash can.  It is definitely human. 

[Scarlett]

4 minutes ago, Lecka said:

No, I don’t think so.  This could happen in my neighborhood and I have a safe neighborhood.  I don’t think I would ever notice.  

You not noticing probably makes it even more dangerous. 

[KungFuPanda]

Just now, Scarlett said:

A raccoon is not putting that big rock back on the lid. Or opening the zip lock bag and remind the food and then placing the bag on top of the trash can.  It is definitely human. 

Ok, I didn’t know the rock got replaced. Yea, you e got a person. 

[Pawz4me]

12 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Would not people going through your trash raise an alarm to make one think maybe it is no longer a super safe neighborhood?

No, I don't think so. Someone's hunger is no reason for me to be afraid of them.

But of course this is all hypothetical--it's never happened here so I can't know for sure how I'd feel. And it's not something I need or want to argue about. You asked for opinions, I gave mine.

ETA: It's not wrong if you (or they) are afraid. I just don't think I would be. And that's not wrong, either.

Edited September 21 by Pawz4me

[Ginevra]

This does not seem dangerous to me. I can’t say I would love it but someone who is hungry and living in an abandoned trailer is not necessarily dangerous. *might* be, but so might your normal-seeming non-homeless neighbor. 
 

Now - where *I* live? It would seem more dangerous because we are off the beaten track and are not in a neighborhood. Someone coming to our house uninvited is in danger themselves. 

[Bambam]

I might wander if one of the known neighbors is having financial issues and doesn't want to ask for help, so is going through garbage looking for food. Homeless person wouldn't be first on my radar - because I would think if there was a homeless person, there would be some signs - someone would see him/her, there would be lights in abandoned trailer, smell, etc. 

But I would want to know what was going on. 

[MEmama]

3 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Would not people going through your trash raise an alarm to make one think maybe it is no longer a super safe neighborhood?

No that wouldn't feel "scary" to me. There is nothing scary about a person in need of food. My mind doesn't jump from hungry/unhoused>> automatic mental illness/violent, because that's simply not accurate.

We live in a super safe neighbourhood and recently had an unhoused person living in a patch of woods. They weren't  hurting anyone, just living as best they could in a physically safe location. Instead of demanding they move, neighbours provided food, warm clothing and information about local resources designed to help by someone in the neighbourhood who works with that community. To me, that's how people in tough situations ought to be treated, not as some menace to be afraid of. 

[Bootsie]

I would think it was a bit eerie if someone was going through my trash can that was right next to my house.  I would not necessarily find it scary. or be afraid that I would be harmed.  I would pay attention to how often it was occuring and if there was a pattern; ask neighbors if they were having the same issue, tyr moving the trash can to another location for a while, or position a security camera to get a better idea of what is happening.

[Lecka]

8 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

You not noticing probably makes it even more dangerous. 

I don’t think it makes a difference either way.  In the current situation (never seeing the person).  
 

I don’t think it’s wrong to think it’s unsafe, I just don’t feel that way.

 

I also thought “what if it was a young woman living alone,” and it still seems neutral to me.  
 

But I don’t think it’s overreacting to think it’s dangerous.  I am just saying, I don’t think it is.  I don’t think it’s an overreaction.  
 

But I think I would leave it up to my parents how they want to handle it. I don’t think it’s so obviously an issue that it’s time to step in and make them take some action they might not want to take.  

[Lecka]

I could see myself wanting to install motion sensor lights or move the trash can to another location.  
 

Edit:  I would see what my husband thought, it would be fine with me if he wanted to, or if he didn’t think it was necessary or too much hassle.  

Edited September 21 by Lecka

[AmandaVT]

We have a large unhoused population here, and there has been some scary stuff going on in the little town I live in. We are seeing a noticeable uptick in violence and people that don't want to access any type of help for substance abuse, mental health support, or "getting back on your feet support" like help finding a job, clothes, etc. According to locals, people are flocking in from out of state to access our benefits (VT has a hotel voucher program, relatively easy access to free healthcare and a ton of food assistance). If it were a local, I wouldn't be nervous and I'd probably leave information about local food banks and where the free meals are located. If it were one of the newer type coming in, I'd be more nervous due to the amount of violence we've been seeing. 

[Rosie_0801]

No, I would not be scared, but then I'm the person on the train that listens to the mentally ill/having a meltdown people and encourages them to talk until they've soothed themselves. 

I would ignore people going through my bin for food unless I could afford to feed them, then I'd just feed them like I used to feed my neighbour when they were sick or underemployed. Someone going through my bin is doing poverty as politely as they can. If they weren't trying to be polite, they'd have broken in to my house/shed and stolen all my stuff.

And I wouldn't make assumptions about why people were homeless these days. They're just as likely to be middle aged, divorced professionals as druggies or drunks. Housing costs are insane. There for the grace of God go the rest of us. Really, if not for my brother, I'd be living in my car.

[Amira]

Someone simply going through my trash looking for food would not feel scary to me, and I’ve lived in a wide variety of neighborhoods, including some where people going through the trash was normal.  In the op’s example, I would only be able to assume that the person is hungry, and I hope I’d find a better way than allowing them to dig through my trash to alleviate that.

[Annie G]

The fact that the person is being polite- replacing the rock and not throwing trash all over- would make me less concerned it’s a person on drugs or dangerously mentally ill. Replacing the rock just seems so thoughtful. 
I’d  still investigate to make sure it’s not a runaway child or something like that. And maybe contact the property owner to see if they know there might be a squatter. 
My first reaction would be fear, but after thinking it through I’d hopefully lean more towards compassion than fear. But also keep an eye out for any escalation, like sheds being opened or things going missing.

I understand your concern because elderly parents seem so vulnerable. 

[teachermom2834]

We have had this happen. It is unnerving to realize someone has been going through your trashcan. I actually have had it happen at two different homes. It always feels strange and uncomfortable. Not sure about scary but it definitely is an eerie feeling. 
 

In one location it only happened when our garbage was out by the road. In the other we didn’t have a garage and our cans were up against our house, right under our master bedroom window. Very eerie to know someone was standing right outside our room going through our trash. 
 

In neither case did we actually do anything about it. I think maybe (it was when we were first married with babies so like 25 years ago) we put our garbage out in a way to discourage it- like food waste way at the bottom of the big can under diapers etc. I remember it stopped but we were always more aware of the idea that people were passing through the neighborhood at night and we needed to be aware. 
 

So not exactly scared but it is definitely unsettling. 
 

I do remember at the time my dad shaming me for not leaving food out at night. I’m sure some people here will say that too. But it just didn’t seem like the move for a couple in their young twenties with a couple babies to decide to put food out at night for whoever might want to come by and collect it. One, we couldn’t afford it, and two, that doesn’t seem safe and definitely would make me uncomfortable to be in bed and hear someone outside my window at night. 
 

 

Edited September 22 by teachermom2834

[EKS]

Not scary.

[Wheres Toto]

1 hour ago, Rosie_0801 said:

I would ignore people going through my bin for food unless I could afford to feed them, then I'd just feed them like I used to feed my neighbour when they were sick or underemployed. Someone going through my bin is doing poverty as politely as they can. If they weren't trying to be polite, they'd have broken in to my house/shed and stolen all my stuff.

And I wouldn't make assumptions about why people were homeless these days. They're just as likely to be middle aged, divorced professionals as druggies or drunks. Housing costs are insane. There for the grace of God go the rest of us. 

This is how I feel about it.  👆

[Drama Llama]

I find it scary that our society has such a limited safety net that someone would feel the need to go through someone's trash to stay alive.  I would probably start being more thoughtful about how I packaged my trash so that things that were edible were separated from things that might be unsafe or unsanitary.  I would probably move one of my ring cameras to see if I could learn a little more about who it was, and what I discovered might change what I do.  

[City Mouse]

Where I live, I would immediately assume that it is some kind of wildlife. Bears here can open pretty much anything, and they tear open garbage bags to get to the contents. If they are worried about either people or wildlife getting into the garbage, the only way to stop it is to keep the trash indoors until collection day. 

[SKL]

I agree with Scarlett.  Someone desperate enough to eat out of garbage cans is pretty darn desperate.  Desperate people can be unpredictable.  And usually, there are reasons behind chronic isolated homelessness that correlate with unpredictable and antisocial behavior.  Just because nothing serious has happened yet, doesn't mean it won't.

I wonder if the town has any organization that could go meet the person in the trailer and let him know about options other than what he's doing ... like a food pantry etc.

[SKL]

1 hour ago, teachermom2834 said:

I do remember at the time my dad shaming me for not leaving food out at night. I’m sure some people here will say that too. But it just didn’t seem like the move for a couple in their young twenties with a couple babies to decide to put food out at night for whoever might want to come by and collect it. One, we couldn’t afford it, and two, that doesn’t seem safe and definitely would make me uncomfortable to be in bed and hear someone outside my window at night.

When I was that age living in an apartment building, the custodian would have ripped me a new one if I'd left food out.  It would draw rats.

[SKL]

I assume the rock on the garbage can lid is to deter raccoons or similar.  (It's the same here.)  Leaving food out at night, for any reason, doesn't sound smart if one lives at the edge of town.  Or a lot of other places for that matter.

[Catwoman]

4 hours ago, Scarlett said:

We live in a small town. My parents live at the edge of town in a small neighborhood (2 streets- 7 occupied homes total) that dead ends on both of the streets. Beyond the dead end is some woods, some pasture land.  They know all of their neighbors no red flags with any of them. 
But for a couple of months someone has been going through their trash can that is right up next to their attached garage and house.
 

They are obviously looking for food (several containers of food have been taken out and the food gone but container left behind). My dad keeps a big rock on top of the trash can lid and it is always replaced. My dad is now noticing that the trash bags are sliced open and pilfered through. 
 

I am sure it is a hungry homeless person. There is an abandoned trailer across the street and I fear a homeless person is living there.  I am frankly scared that something dangerous could happen to my elderly parents. My mom thinks I am ridiculous and she is more concerned about someone getting sick from food in the garbage than she is someone harming them . 

They have cameras but this trash can sits outside of any view. Dh installed a ring camera today that will pick up the trash can. 
 

I can’t seem to get my mom to comprehend that homeless people are often addicts, mentally ill or both and they are desperate. Desperate enough to eat out of the trash. To me it is scary. 
 

What do you think? 

I think it was smart of your dh to install the Ring camera today, so you'll be able to see who is going through your parents' trash cans. Once you see the video, you'll hopefully have better information so you'll know what to do next.

Do you or your dh have the alert set on your Ring app, so you'll be notified immediately when the person comes around?

[Halftime Hope]

My concern, if this were my elderly parents' garbage can, would be related to whatever information a pilferer might gather about them, from looking through their trash. I'd make sure to discuss with them the need to shred mailings, private information, and credit card offers.

Edited September 22 by Halftime Hope

[Scarlett]

3 hours ago, MEmama said:

No that wouldn't feel "scary" to me. There is nothing scary about a person in need of food. My mind doesn't jump from hungry/unhoused>> automatic mental illness/violent, because that's simply not accurate.

We live in a super safe neighbourhood and recently had an unhoused person living in a patch of woods. They weren't  hurting anyone, just living as best they could in a physically safe location. Instead of demanding they move, neighbours provided food, warm clothing and information about local resources designed to help by someone in the neighbourhood who works with that community. To me, that's how people in tough situations ought to be treated, not as some menace to be afraid of. 

Well that sounds all warm and fuzzy but facts are homeless people are desperate and desperate people do desperate things . 

[Scarlett]

27 minutes ago, Halftime Hope said:

My concern if this was my elderly parents' garbage can would be related to whatever information a pilferer might gather about them, from looking through their trash. I'd make sure to discuss mailings and private information, so they didn't throw away bank statements, etc.

I am much less concerned with that vs their physical safety. 

[Scarlett]

I will add that I have a very close friend whose grandparents were brutally murdered about 12 years ago in the closest city to us. My friend went with her mother to check on her grandparents and discovered the crime scene. It was brutal. Beyond what anybody should ever have to endure. Perpetrator is serving 199 years in prison. He was only 20 years old when he committed this crime. 
 

Granted, we are not in the city, but I think the possibility is still there. Desperate people do desperate things.

[maize]

It would bother me to discover that some unknown person was regularly coming onto my property and going through things; I would also worry.

Leaving food out would definitely be a bad idea, it would attract raccoons, skunks, bears, etc. 

I think setting up the camera is a reasonable step; I'd want to learn if I could who it was who was going through things and then decide what to do next.

Being close to someone who was murdered in their home can make anyone paranoid. I have a friend whose adult son was murdered by being shot through the window of his home. The police never located a suspect.

Most people who are homeless or otherwise struggling to get by are not dangerous. It's reasonable though to be wary of unknown trespassers; setting up a camera to learn more makes sense.

[annandatje]

I would hang up snacks and drinks for homeless person, making sure they were out of reach of wildlife. 

I live in a relatively affluent neighborhood, and there are homeless encampments in nearby wooded areas.  Some ladies in my neighborhood make sure they have tents, blankets and occasionally meals.

Not sure how to explain why I’m not scared; could be because I was on verge of homelessness as young adult.  

While many homeless are suffering from mental illnesses including addiction, most of the ones I’ve met are not violent or criminally inclined.  Many are poor ordinary people just a paycheck away from disaster or people who have not had proper supports in place for their journey into adulthood and beyond.

[Clarita]

In college, I lived in an area where getting your trash pilfered and dumpster diving was a normal occurrence. My only concern would be being respectful of my cans (which this particular person seems to be) and stealing my personal information.

Since it's just one person I would probably just leave food for them, so they wouldn't pilfer my trash. In college, some people would just keep their trash in a more public area so strangers weren't going on to their private property. 

I'd take some precautions with cameras and be more aware about shredding my personal information. I don't know that I would inconvenience myself too much with keeping the cans in the garage, etc.   

[Scarlett]

I will say some of y'all remind  me of the videos about how white women aren’t afraid of anything…

[Catwoman]

31 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I will add that I have a very close friend whose grandparents were brutally murdered about 12 years ago in the closest city to us. My friend went with her mother to check on her grandparents and discovered the crime scene. It was brutal. Beyond what anybody should ever have to endure. Perpetrator is serving 199 years in prison. He was only 20 years old when he committed this crime. 
 

Granted, we are not in the city, but I think the possibility is still there. Desperate people do desperate things.

I'm so sorry about what happened to your friend's grandparents -- and the thought that she and her mom found the bodies makes it even more horrific!  😞 

 

[Catwoman]

36 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I will say some of y'all remind  me of the videos about how white women aren’t afraid of anything…

🤣

I know we don't agree on everything, Scarlett, but I'm with you on this one! 🙂 

If someone was going through people's trash cans in my neighborhood, I think people would be calling the police about it, because having a stranger trespassing on your property at night and coming that close to the house seems pretty creepy to me, and it certainly isn't something that happens in every neighborhood. From the way you have described it, this is not something that has ever happened at your parents' house, either, so I understand the concern. 

I would definitely be checking that Ring footage to see who it is! I mean, at least the person is courteous enough to put the rock back on the lid, but it's also kind of weird that they are so brazen about making it so obvious that a person was going through the trash and not trying to make it look like a raccoon did it or something.

I would not be comfortable with this at all.

Edited September 22 by Catwoman
Autocorrect is going crazy with the extra commas again!

[Tap]

People eating out of garbage cans wouldn't scare me. It is very common in our area to see people going thru garbage cans. They take recycling and items of interest. I don't encourage it, but it doesn't concern me. 

[Melissa in Australia]

No it wouldn't scare me. If someone was going through the rubbish here they wouldn't find any food in it. That would just breed rats, which would encourage even more snakes 

We have a surplus of food in the veggie garden. If there was someone so hungry that they had to eat rubbish we would be offering them food 

Maybe they could put out some food and water. Be like the good Samaritan. Feed and help the starving person. Instead of like those judgemental people who just walked past.

[rebcoola]

I would not be afraid.  That is not to say their wouldn't be concerns but afraid no especially as it has happened several times and it has been done very politely for lack of a better word.  I would make probably make sure I was little extra careful about shredding personal info and I would probably lock our doors something I am personally pretty bad about. The camera seesm smart.  I wouldn't leave out food. I would possibly leave a note or info sheet on services.  Though a good number of dumpster divers I have known have not been homeless but extreme money savers no doubt to the point of mental illness but not in away that was dangerous to anyone but themselves (or people who ate their food)

[Scarlett]

I am surprised at how many people who would not be afraid. 

[Rosie_0801]

52 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I am surprised at how many people who would not be afraid. 

I would have been, once upon a time, but I'm older, have been less safe, and am less middle class than I used to be.

I've never been hurt by people poorer than me. I've never been hurt by desperate people doing desperate things, as you put it. I've been hurt by respectable, middle class people with the power to hurt me and wanted to do it.

Our perceptions haven't necessarily anything to do with other people's intentions. 
Is the big, scary tattooed guy actually doing anything to intimidate me? Or is he just buying apples in the same aisle I am?
Are the scary, Muslim taxi drivers really out to get old ladies or are they just taxi drivers? (Who weren't even Muslim, as it happens.)
Are the rowdy youths at the corner shop really a threat to women and small children? Or are they the older siblings of the kids you send me to school with?

[Ausmumof3]

I’d be worried it was someone looking for info to do identity theft or something. 
 

We’ve had someone tip our stuff everywhere a couple of times recently… it’s pretty annoying. We also had a person decide to try sleep just up from our driveway. Clearly drug issues. They were trying to walk up to the Riverland (a couple of hours drive away). It was close to zero degree temps overnight (Celsius). That combination is worrying because it’s not someone making rational decisions at all. On the other hand the homeless crisis is so big there there’s plenty of people without mental health or drug issues struggling with housing right now.