What do you think BFE means?

[sweet2ndchance]

SNAFU was orignialy military slang for "Status Nominal: All F'ed Up.

Kinda similar to FUBAR. (F'ed Up Beyond All Recognition)

[Katy]

4 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

 

Hold up! While I can imagine that your experience is true, that’s never what it meant here as far as, again, to my obviously limited knowledge. The bum was always understood to be cattle and had nothing to do with ethnic demographics.  So there’s that. 

I never knew that origin until I read about it in an article after the war started. It was a quip that then went on to explain it was an actual problem. There was a couple struggling with infertility and it turned out the wife was a virgin, they didn’t know about vaginal sex. And it connected to some region where it turned out that old insult about Egypt really was true. But that was 1 or 2 articles, probably 20 years ago now. 

[EKS]

Never heard of that ever.  I had to look it up because I didn't know what Eg**t stood for.  And it doesn't make sense either because Egypt isn't really that far out there.

[QueenCat]

I've never heard of BFE.

[Murphy101]

4 minutes ago, sweet2ndchance said:

SNAFU was orignialy military slang for "Status Nominal: All F'ed Up.

Kinda similar to FUBAR. (F'ed Up Beyond All Recognition)

Well now I know I wasn’t even using the acronym correctly. Good to know. Tyvm.

FUBAR i knew. 

In related news I asked Dh about blockbuster this morning and he swears he didn’t know that was a euphemism.  

[TheReader]

Popping into this thread, to share that when I first heard BFE for the first time, my friend who used it shared a clean version/meaning, of "Beyond Far Egypt" which I accepted (being a teen and naive about these things).  Later I heard the more common/vulgar version, and never quite got how very far away translated into the more vulgar one.  I'm kind of glad it's not one I use, hearing the actual interpretations of the more commonly known/vulgar version. Yikes! 

 

[*****]

I've lived both in the midwest and the west coast and never heard BFE. We used to say 'out in the boonies'.

I only recently learned about 'chillin' from the hive (I think).  I had no idea of the connotation, so I googled the saying and realized what it meant.  I have young 20 year olds that went to college, and I wonder how many times I've told them to just chill (as in don't get hyped over nothing, but I never heard them snicker about my comment). Or maybe when I asked what they were doing for the evening and they would say they were chilling with friends and now I wonder if that's what was going on?!

SNAFU and FUBAR? No idea. 

How are we supposed to know when to look these things up?!

 

[Vintage81]

I live in Texas and BFE is common around here. I’ve heard both versions (butt/bum). DH was a military brat and he moved all over and he’s heard/used it too. I guess I can see why people wouldn’t like it because it has the f-word in it, but I admit I’m kind of a potty mouth, so curse words don’t bother me. 🤭

I didn’t know about “Netflix and chill” so that’s funny. I guess it’s a good thing I’ve never really used that phrase! 🤣

[Vintage81]

1 hour ago, ***** said:

 

SNAFU and FUBAR? No idea. 

How are we supposed to know when to look these things up?!

 

Isn’t FUBAR a military thing? I heard it from watching Band of Brothers.

Correction…not Band of Brothers…it’s Saving Private Ryan. Whoops

Edited December 15, 2023 by Vintage81

[sweet2ndchance]

4 minutes ago, Vintage81 said:

Isn’t FUBAR a military thing? I heard it from watching Band of Brothers.

Yes it is military slang also.

Honestly that's where I learned most of less than savory language was being a military brat and then a military wife. Now that I live away from the military, I don't hear the slang as often anymore.

Edited December 15, 2023 by sweet2ndchance

[Forget-Me-Not]

I'd never heard of BFE either and I grew up in CA. 

I did know about Netflix and Chill.  

[pinball]

2 hours ago, Katy said:

It is rude, there’s a connotation that in rural Muslim areas men prefer sex with teen boys. I don’t think most people make the connection since 9/11 because soldiers had so much exposure to this sort of behavior in Afghanistan that it was less a condescending slur and more a series of actual news stories. But it definitely started as a condescending slur. 

 

1 hour ago, Katy said:

I never knew that origin until I read about it in an article after the war started. It was a quip that then went on to explain it was an actual problem. There was a couple struggling with infertility and it turned out the wife was a virgin, they didn’t know about vaginal sex. And it connected to some region where it turned out that old insult about Egypt really was true. But that was 1 or 2 articles, probably 20 years ago now. 

The origin is NOT the US involvement in the Gulf wars. 

The expression began long before that.

And the whole “she can’t get pregnant bc they’re only having an@l” trope didn’t begin with the Gulf wars, either.

 

[Corraleno]

I first heard BFE when I lived in California in the 80s, but I was told it stood for Bumf*ck East, and it was equally common to hear East Bumf*ck. Apparently the Egypt version is the original and it came from the military (earliest written record of use is 1972). Green's Dictionary of Slang also lists a 1974 use of South Bumf*ck Indiana, along with many other versions with states (West BF Arkansas, BF Junction Iowa, many BF [State] references), as well as BFA for BF Africa and BFN for BF Nowhere.

[MiddleCourt]

38 minutes ago, ***** said:

I only recently learned about 'chillin' from the hive (I think).  I had no idea of the connotation, so I googled the saying and realized what it meant.  I have young 20 year olds that went to college, and I wonder how many times I've told them to just chill (as in don't get hyped over nothing, but I never heard them snicker about my comment). Or maybe when I asked what they were doing for the evening and they would say they were chilling with friends and now I wonder if that's what was going on

 

It’s specifically “Netflix and chill.” Telling someone to chill out or saying you’re chilling with friends isn’t the same.

[kbutton]

1 hour ago, sweet2ndchance said:

SNAFU was orignialy military slang for "Status Nominal: All F'ed Up.

Kinda similar to FUBAR. (F'ed Up Beyond All Recognition)

I think snafu passed into conversation as entire word where I was from, and I heard “fouled” up. Not knowing it was military, I took the nice version without question. Then Saving Private Ryan came out, where they used it a lot.

I think a lot of WWII era stuff often got cleaned up for movies and TV (when it was more regulated) of the era (or Korean War era) and from so many men being mobilized (not all overseas) that it passed into normal conversation in a more cleaned up form for general consumption. I can’t think of a good example, but I sometimes stumble onto stuff (often language) that I now know my grandfather picked up during the war or that passed into normal convention because I saw a movie that gave more context. Not all of it originally involved cursing either. 

[El...]

2 hours ago, Katy said:

It is rude, there’s a connotation that in rural Muslim areas men prefer sex with teen boys. I don’t think most people make the connection since 9/11 because soldiers had so much exposure to this sort of behavior in Afghanistan that it was less a condescending slur and more a series of actual news stories. But it definitely started as a condescending slur. 

Well. That's a significantly ruder backstory than I anticipated. I'm sure most people who use it aren't going that far in their minds.

[Soror]

bum------- Egypt

is what I heard from my military father. It was used to mean the middle of nowhere but I thought the racist undertone was pretty clear, even if not stated out loud. 

[Danae]

Just now, El... said:

Well. That's a significantly ruder backstory than I anticipated. I'm sure most people who use it aren't going that far in their minds.

Of course they aren’t.  Most people aren’t thinking about it at all.  But if you think of the actual words, how is there any possible origin story that is not both anti-gay and racist/Islamophobic/xenophobic (pick one or more)?

[Corraleno]

The phrase goes back to at least the 60s or early 70s, when the US was involved in Vietnam not the Gulf, and it was being used in reference to places in the US as well, so unless people think a 1974 reference to "South Bumf*ck Indiana" was a slur against gay farmers, it really is just a phrase referring to something far away or in the middle of nowhere.

[Murphy101]

18 minutes ago, Danae said:

Of course they aren’t.  Most people aren’t thinking about it at all.  But if you think of the actual words, how is there any possible origin story that is not both anti-gay and racist/Islamophobic/xenophobic (pick one or more)?

Super easily actually. 

Egypt before internet and smart phones was just a far away distant place to most Americans in the Protestant Bible Belt and the most memorable thing about it was Moses getting lost somewhere there.

The gay thing is just bizarre to me. The entire premise is it’s somewhere there aren’t any people and you can get lost.  So I can understand possible insults to the sheep maybe but not the gays this time.

Not at all saying I’ve never heard a gay or Muslim insult before but this is not a white straight people phrase at all here.

[stephanier.1765]

9 hours ago, WildflowerMom said:

I’ve always known it as “bu*t f*** Egypt”.    

I only recently discovered the original is “BUM”.  🤦🏻‍♀️

I always that it was "butt". I think I learned this as a teenager eons ago.

[Danae]

10 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

Super easily actually. 

Egypt before internet and smart phones was just a far away distant place to most Americans in the Protestant Bible Belt and the most memorable thing about it was Moses getting lost somewhere there.

The gay thing is just bizarre to me. The entire premise is it’s somewhere there aren’t any people and you can get lost.  So I can understand possible insults to the sheep maybe but not the gays this time.

Not at all saying I’ve never heard a gay or Muslim insult before but this is not a white straight people phrase at all here.

In what other context does “butt” mean sheep?  

[SKL]

Never heard of it, and I would have been shocked too.  😛

We used to say "Hell's half-acre."  or just "the Boone docks."

Edited December 15, 2023 by SKL

[Murphy101]

19 minutes ago, Danae said:

In what other context does “butt” mean sheep?  

Context matters. Again far away from people/civilization implies there’s not human bum options.  

Well you are correct that I should not discriminate. It could be any animal. Though jokes about being alone and lonely for too long while guarding whatever cattle is nothing new and has been around for multiple generations in every demographic I think. Heck even jokes that sailors were without women for so long that manatees started to look like women is how we got mermaids. 

Edited December 15, 2023 by Murphy101

[Heartstrings]

3 hours ago, Katy said:

There was a couple struggling with infertility and it turned out the wife was a virgin, they didn’t know about vaginal sex.

That’s a common urban legend in the US about evangelical Christians that  don’t do sex Ed too, so I find that a bit suspect.  I think perhaps those few articles you read weren’t exactly factual.  
 

I was using the phrase BFE before 9/11.   It’s pretty easy for me to date it bc I was pregnant on 9/11 and was using BFE as my AOL IM location in high school.   

Edited December 15, 2023 by Heartstrings

[Heartstrings]

3 hours ago, ***** said:

have young 20 year olds that went to college, and I wonder how many times I've told them to just chill

Chill by itself doesn’t mean sex.   It means chill, like relax, hang out, not doing much.  Only paired with Netflix.  “Let’s Netflix and chill” means “have a booty call”.   

[sassenach]

13 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

“Bum f-ing Eg**t as in, it’s so far out there that it’s like going into the desert and taking 40 years to find civilization again.”

 

 

Yes, that's what I've always understood it to mean. Except in my head it's butt instead of bum. I've known that saying my whole life. And certainly, anyone who's been around the military would know it, too. It's weird to me that a group of adults wouldn't be familiar with it but what do I know, I'm a Californian.

[Heartstrings]

2 hours ago, Danae said:

Of course they aren’t.  Most people aren’t thinking about it at all.  But if you think of the actual words, how is there any possible origin story that is not both anti-gay and racist/Islamophobic/xenophobic (pick one or mor

@n@l sex is far from exclusively a gay thing.  
Egypt is a place, separate from the people that live there.  I always thought the phrase was a reference to the desert although I didn’t grow up religious so Moses had nothing to do with it in my mind.  
 

Honestly, I thought it was a reference to camels.   Riding camels deep into the desert hurts your bum, which is F’d.  Or sucks as we talked about earlier. 🤣.
 

F’d is such a general use word it’s hardly connected with sex anymore.  You can insert the F word almost anywhere in any sentence and it works.  

Fn give me that apple. 
Give me that Fn apple. 
Give me that Apple, F*ck!  

At no point was the anything inappropriate done to the apple in those sentences.  
 

 

[Grace Hopper]

Not knowing what the letters stand for is a most important reason NOT to use the term!

I know what the one mentioned stands for, but honestly haven’t heard it used in so long I had to think a minute. 

[Clemsondana]

All of those terms (BFE, SNAFU, FUBAR, netflix and chill) are familiar and the first 3 have been familiar for as long as I can remember - at least 30 years.  I read a lot of my dad's military fiction as a tween/teen, so that may have influenced it.  I had never associated the BFE with being gay or anything else - more of an 'you are so far from anything that you are screwed'.  I wouldn't attribute anything cultural to it, any more than putting f*!*! in a phrase implies that a sexual act is implied or going to take place.  We also use 'in the boonies' but BFE has more of a negative connotation, I think.  

[Carrie12345]

Have not heard that one, but we say East bumble-F.

[maize]

I learn all the interesting stuff on the hive. This is definitely where I learned the meaning of Netflix and chill,  probably a couple of years ago? I've never heard the phrase IRL.

[Murphy101]

51 minutes ago, Heartstrings said:

Honestly, I thought it was a reference to camels.   Riding camels deep into the desert hurts your bum, which is F’d.  Or sucks as we talked about earlier. 🤣.

🤦‍♀️ yes! I never really thought of any actual sex acts and if I did I didn’t think gay bc … no body is around. But you’re right! That does make more sense!

51 minutes ago, Heartstrings said:

At no point was the anything inappropriate done to the apple in those sentences.  
 

One can only hope not anyways. 

[WildflowerMom]

I have never attributed BFE (and I understood it as the more vulgar term...) as being anti-gay.    My gay bff in highschool was who first taught me the term.  🤦🏻‍♀️  

[Corraleno]

2 hours ago, Danae said:

Of course they aren’t.  Most people aren’t thinking about it at all.  But if you think of the actual words, how is there any possible origin story that is not both anti-gay and racist/Islamophobic/xenophobic (pick one or more)?

Slang words and phrases alluding to @n*l sex (and asses in general) are very common and are generally used in the same sense as someone getting "screwed." For example, a man who says he got screwed, f***ed, shafted, or "reamed out" by his boss who "tore him a new @assh*le," isn't accusing his boss of being gay, and using the term bumf*ck or bumblef*ck to refer to an undesirable place or person isn't any more "anti-gay" than similar references to the "ass end of nowhere."

A few of the entries related to the term from Green's Dictionary of Slang and/or Sheidlower's The F Word, none of which have anti-gay or anti-Islamic connotations:

 

1979 Easyriders (Dec.) 6: "A pretty crafty way…to get us bumfucks to read your rag cover to cover."
1981 Easyriders (Oct.) 47: "Cut loose some of those bumfuck, hardluck losers." 
1999 N. Stephenson Cryptonomicon 115: "You are going to be in West Bumfuck, Arkansas, riding in the Memorial Day parade."
1999 People (Sydney) 5 July 9: "Born in Ames, Iowa, just out of Bumfuck Junction, Iowa. Broke into showbusiness in 1993 by appearing as Miss April in a Motormag calendar."
1999 N. Roberts Inner Harbor xx. 319: "I don’t have all day to hang around this bumfuck town."
1999 S. Turow Personal Injuries 23: "Like two goofs from East Bumblefuck, Mort and I put all the pieces together."
2000 R. Bingham Lightning on Sun 116: "Dwayne grew more agitated. He didn’t like the sound of this bum-fuck country cracker knocking his vehicle." 
2002 J. Starr Hard Feelings 193: "Now you drag me out to Butt-Fuck New Jersey for some pointless lineup."
2004 S. Grafton R is for Ricochet xiii. 139: “...mentally cursing the bumblefuck FBI agent who jumped the gun on us."
2005 S. Amick Lake, River & Other Lake viii. 42: "As far as Mark could tell, there were three types of outsiders you could be if you didn’t happen to get born and die in Weneshkeen, like the rest of these bumfucks his dad seemed to want to fit in with."
2005 J. Mitchard Breakdown Lane 63: "He can’t spend too much, because, though he practices law where he lives now, he doesn’t make a lot because he basically lives in Bumblefuck, Egypt."
2006 C. Langston Bicoastal Babe vi. 46: "It’s one thing to smoke the house in a white Chanel pantsuit, but it’s another thing to imagine the housewives in Bumfuck, Ohio, trying to copy the same look at their local Wal-Mart." 
2006 Observer (UK) Rev. 15 Jan. 5/3: "Fourteen hours later, the bus pulled up outside an army barracks – ‘someplace in Bumfuck, Texas.’..."
2008 A. Davies Mine All Mine 217: "I can get you past the primary systems, but then what are you two bumblefucks going to do?"
2010 L. Redhead Thrill City "He wasn’t doing me any favours leaving me in bum-fuck South Australia."
2011 J.J. Connolly Viva La Madness 283: "She’s a tourist — American I’d wager ... from Bumfuck, Idaho."
2016 T. Robinson Rough Trade "It was in the middle of the night in Bumblefuck, Massachusetts."
2020 C. Hiaasen Squeeze Me 262: "How has he not been transferred to Bumfuck, Alaska?"
2021 J. Ellroy Widespread Panic 7: "I had a squaresville home life in bumfuck Massachusetts."
 

 

[Heartstrings]

41 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

One can only hope not anyways

Is it Seinfeld who says “Not that there’s anything wrong with that?”   🤣🤣🤣.  Not trying to k!nk shame.  

[QueenCat]

I will add that we would say that we lived in Timbuktu or out in the boonies. Again, never heard BFE.

[prairiewindmomma]

I learned it the same as OP. Most everyone I knew in the 80s already lived in the Boonies—no neighbors in eyesight—but BFE was considered beyond….like you had to drive two hours to find a Walmart or doctor or fast food. 
 

ETA: We had several family members who had small gravel airstrips on their property and would fly themselves or family members for medical care or other city things. 

Edited December 15, 2023 by prairiewindmomma

[KungFuPanda]

I heard it my whole life. I don’t know if it’s because I grew up in the mid Atlantic region or if it was because my father was in the military in the early 70s.  “Way out in Timbuktu” had the same connotation. I never knew the sexual connotation until this thread. 
 

I think I was IN the military when I learned snafu and fubar and steal (strategic transfer of equipment to an alternate location)

[Tree Frog]

I heard a friend refer to BFE about 30 years ago.

I wasn't familiar with Netflix and chill. The kids, all in their 20's, are coming home next week. I think I might ask dh if he wants to Netflix and chill after we all play a game. Will be funny to see their reaction! 😆

[TechWife]

19 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

Netflix and chill means basicly a no stress hookup at your place.  It’s the new version of “Let’s go to my place for a nightcap/drink.”  At least that’s what all the younguns tell me is the saying these days. 

What? Are you serious? I thought it meant watching shows & maybe snacks 

First it was the tiny reindeer, now this. What a day. 

[Ginevra]

Bum F*** Eg***
 

Also expressed as “East Bum F***”. 
 

That is a normal colloquialism where I am from. 

[sassenach]

48 minutes ago, TechWife said:

What? Are you serious? I thought it meant watching shows & maybe snacks 

First it was the tiny reindeer, now this. What a day. 

Funny homeschooler goes to public school story for you all. When dd was in her first year of PS, she was with a group of friends and the topic of her caring for her older brother with cerebral palsy came up. Her friend asked her what they did and she said, "Netflix and chill." She realized immediately that the horrified looks on everyone's faces meant she didn't know the full connotation of the phrase 😂. She fessed up and they were all relieved/taught her what it meant. She came home with a good story.

Edited December 16, 2023 by sassenach

[Murphy101]

1 hour ago, TechWife said:

What? Are you serious? I thought it meant watching shows & maybe snacks 

First it was the tiny reindeer, now this. What a day. 

I’m totally serious and I totally agree with you.

I have no idea what you mean by tiny reindeer but oh so curious to be educated about it.🍿

[Heartstrings]

8 hours ago, Corraleno said:

1999 N. Stephenson Cryptonomicon 115: "You are going to be in West Bumfuck, Arkansas, riding in the Memorial Day parade."

We have a Toad Suck, I would not be surprised in the least if Arkansas actually had a West Bumfuck.  

[Ginevra]

8 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

I’m totally serious and I totally agree with you.

I have no idea what you mean by tiny reindeer but oh so curious to be educated about it.🍿

I think it’s because she only just realized that the Santa and reindeer described in “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” are tiny. It’s “a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer”; Santa is “a right jolly ol’ elf”. 

[KSera]

9 hours ago, maize said:

This is definitely where I learned the meaning of Netflix and chill,  probably a couple of years ago? I've never heard the phrase IRL.

The primary place I’ve seen it is the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor. So what’s up with that? 🤔

[TechWife]

1 hour ago, Murphy101 said:

I’m totally serious and I totally agree with you.

I have no idea what you mean by tiny reindeer but oh so curious to be educated about it.🍿

Thread about tiny reindeer. I’m telling you, it’s been a day. 

 

[Murphy101]

10 hours ago, TechWife said:

Thread about tiny reindeer. I’m telling you, it’s been a day. 

 

We literally read the original version every single Christmas Eve to the kids. 

🤯
 

This is like the mystical collective verse skipping that everyone does at mass without being told.