What do you think BFE means?

[Murphy101]

Soooo

Someone at a dinner I went to mentioned they lived in BFE.

Someone else asked what the letters stand for.

Well we are all adults and there’s only one thing I have ever heard it to mean. 

So I politely told her. “Bum f-ing Eg**t as in, it’s so far out there that it’s like going into the desert and taking 40 years to find civilization again.”

The response was “OMG. Bruh.” And crickets.

Now *I* have no idea where this started to be in common use but I do know that using the acronym would still get me sent to the principal back in kindergarten bc everyone knew that’s what it stood for. (Life experience)

But I think I’ve scandalized these ladies. (All younger than me if it matters)

I don’t think it’s better for them to use an acronym just bc they don’t know what it stands for? How is that better? It doesn’t not mean that just bc you don’t know - right?

sigh.

Just ignore me. I’m so unbelievably done peopling.

But what I want to know is what have you always thought the letters stood for?

Maybe this is a situation where everyone I grew up with was raised by this guy?

Maybe there’s another less unsavory meaning we were not exposed to?   If so, in the nature of nearly everything in my life, someone please tell me now that it won’t do squat to save me in a social situation. 

 

Edited December 15, 2023 by Rosie_0801
Pic not allowed

[bookbard]

Never heard of BFE and I can't work out what your "E" is?

In Australia, if you mean middle of nowhere, you'd say "Back of Bourke". Actually there are probably profane versions I don't know about.

I don't think it's wrong for you to tell them what the BFE stands for though, if they're using it without knowing - you've done them a service, really. If they don't like it, they can use a differen acronym. 

 

[Murphy101]

Just now, bookbard said:

Never heard of BFE and I can't work out what your "E" is?

In Australia, if you mean middle of nowhere, you'd say "Back of Bourke". Actually there are probably profane versions I don't know about.

I don't think it's wrong for you to tell them what the BFE stands for though, if they're using it without knowing - you've done them a service, really. If they don't like it, they can use a differen acronym. 

 

It’s Egypt. As in they went so far out like Moses that they got lost in a desert that it takes 40 years to get back to any civilization. 

[Katy]

You were right, and I'm shocked they were scandalized.

This reminds me of a meme about someone teaching their dad that BDSM stood for Burgers, Drinks, and Salsa Music and he invited a couple over for a BDSM party. Too stupid to be real.

[maize]

I've never heard this acronym. I wonder if it's regional? Now I want to know where people who are familiar with it are from!

[saraha]

I’m from Michigan and the acronym alone was scandalous to say in the 80’s but instead of the Moses reference it was implied more like Deliverance 😬

[Murphy101]

Just now, Katy said:

You were right, and I'm shocked they were scandalized.

This reminds me of a meme about someone teaching their dad that BDSM stood for Burgers, Drinks, and Salsa Music and he invited a couple over for a BDSM party. Too stupid to be real.

Well you say that but it turns out my grown kids had been horrified to find out that  I was telling anyone who asks if I have any plans that I’m excited bc for once all Dh and I have to do is “Netflix and chill”.

Because that is actually what we were doing. 

But nope it means s*x. I have no idea how many times I’ve been “lucky” enough to share I was going to have such a rare night with Dh to people at church or ya know idle chitchat to the barista. But they didn’t say anything and damned if I’m going to bring it up now that I know.  🫣

[saraha]

Come to think of it, I heard someone say the acronym not that long ago, that was so out of character for that person I could only assume she didn’t know what it meant. So I’m curious if there’s another meaning too!

[Eos]

I've never heard it but it's cracking me.  Agree with pp, you did them a favor.

[Murphy101]

My adult daughter still laughs about having the sex talk with me after going to the Dutch Bros and my responding to the barista asking if I have any fun plans later with, “I’m super excited bc for once I have nothing to do so the husband and I are just going to Netflix and chill.”

And that’s when dd told me  We had quite the debate about it meaning that bc I really did think she was messing with me. I mean maybe that too but we start Netflix with innocent intentions! 

to which my daughter sighed and said, “well yeah. Doesn’t everyone?”

[Condessa]

I have never heard that acronym.  I also didn't know about "Netflix and chill". 

When dh and I went to Italy and shocked the locals we made friends with by telling them we had five kids, they all kept asking us, "Don't you have Netflix over there?!" so it must not mean that in Italy!

[saraha]

2 minutes ago, Condessa said:

I have never heard that acronym.  I also didn't know about "Netflix and chill". 

When dh and I went to Italy and shocked the locals we made friends with by telling them we had five kids, they all kept asking us, "Don't you have Netflix over there?!" so it must not mean that in Italy!

I remember at church when we let it slip I was pregnant with baby number 5 a guy in our Sunday school class said “Geeze, don’t you guys have cable?!?” Dh responded truthfully “Nope”

That elicited lots of laughter 

[MiddleCourt]

I’m from California and BFE is common to say. Although now that I think of it, I don’t hear many people outside my family say it. 🤷🏻‍♀️My mom used a lot of colloquialisms growing up that none of my peers seemed to know. I use it to mean something way out of the way or in the middle of nowhere. 

[MiddleCourt]

5 minutes ago, MiddleCourt said:

I’m from California and BFE is common to say. Although now that I think of it, I don’t hear many people outside my family say it. 🤷🏻‍♀️My mom used a lot of colloquialisms growing up that none of my peers seemed to know. I use it to mean something way out of the way or in the middle of nowhere. 

Oh, and I always understood it to stand for bum f*ck Egypt. ETA I just read it’s considered vulgar and I had no idea. 🙊 I’m now wondering how many times I’ve dropped this word in polite conversation.

Edited December 15, 2023 by MiddleCourt

[Murphy101]

22 minutes ago, MiddleCourt said:

Oh, and I always understood it to stand for bum f*ck Egypt. ETA I just read it’s considered vulgar and I had no idea. 🙊 I’m now wondering how many times I’ve dropped this word in polite conversation.

Right?!

Like who said it was vulgar bc while kids didn’t say it in elementary school, I never knew anyone else that thought it was vulgar so much as adult.  Nearly all adults said it. Like alcohol I guess? Idk.  People are a real pain to figure out how to interact with.  🤷‍♀️

Edited December 15, 2023 by Murphy101

[Heartstrings]

Before reading any other replies.... Bum F'ed Egypt.  

[Murphy101]

17 minutes ago, MiddleCourt said:

Oh, and I always understood it to stand for bum f*ck Egypt. ETA I just read it’s considered vulgar and I had no idea. 🙊 I’m now wondering how many times I’ve dropped this word in polite conversation.

Wait. The words or the acronym?

I don’t usually go around saying the actual words but the acronym is common enough that I’ve met many people over the years who honestly hadn’t heard anyone use the words and didn’t ask the meaning for whatever reasons  

I figure the acronym is like people saying frik instead of the f word. It all means the same thing but they feel better about themselves for not using a worse epithet.

[Heartstrings]

Waaaaay back when we used to Instant Messenger I had my location set to Bum F'd, Egypt for awhile until I got a message asking me about Egypt.  I was a teen at the time and it really freaked me out. Learned my lesson. 

 

Edited December 15, 2023 by Heartstrings

[Heartstrings]

1 hour ago, Murphy101 said:

Well you say that but it turns out my grown kids had been horrified to find out that  I was telling anyone who asks if I have any plans that I’m excited bc for once all Dh and I have to do is “Netflix and chill”.

Because that is actually what we were doing. 

But nope it means s*x. I have no idea how many times I’ve been “lucky” enough to share I was going to have such a rare night with Dh to people at church or ya know idle chitchat to the barista. But they didn’t say anything and damned if I’m going to bring it up now that I know.  🫣

I had to be corrected on that too.  I thought it was a slogan, like "Make it a Blockbuster Night".   

Hm... was that a euphemism too?  It was on TV, so it can't have been.   

Can it?  

[MiddleCourt]

4 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

Wait. The words or the acronym?

It just said “it’s considered to be vulgar.” The words clearly are, but I never considered the acronym to be and I wouldn’t bat an eye if someone used it in conversation. And I consider myself to be fairly genteel 😉. 

[Murphy101]

1 minute ago, Heartstrings said:

Waaaaay back when we used to Instant Messenger I had my location set to Bum F'd, Egypt for awhile until I got a message asking me about Egypt.  I was a teen at the time and it really freaked me out. 

I guess I can see how the Bum F'd could be vulgar to some people.  Bum F'd, F'd in the Bum, tea in the bum...and now we're out of bounds for polite company.    

I guess. But it seems rather ridiculous to me personally.

But people can be ridiculous. 

In one of many other social blunders in my life, I once had a mom telling me some difficult family tribulations she was going through and I said, “I’m sorry.  That sucks” 

And she lectured me that I shouldn’t say that. And I was so confused that I asked why?! And she said well sucks what? 

Eggs?! Rotten eggs?! 

That is what everyone always said and I didn’t  grow up sheltered by most standards either.  If it had meant men bits - that’s what I’d have heard.

But she didn’t bring her kids over anymore after that.  And that did not suck at all.

[Heartstrings]

Just now, Murphy101 said:

I guess. But it seems rather ridiculous to me personally.

But people can be ridiculous. 

In one of many other social blunders in my life, I once had a mom telling me some difficult family tribulations she was going through and I said, “I’m sorry.  That sucks” 

And she lectured me that I shouldn’t say that. And I was so confused that I asked why?! And she said well sucks what? 

Eggs?! Rotten eggs?! 

That is what everyone always said and I didn’t  grow up sheltered by most standards either.  If it had meant men bits - that’s what I’d have heard.

But she didn’t bring her kids over anymore after that.  And that did not suck at all.

People are so sensitive. My husband grew up with a list of things that were "vulgar": Sucks, shut up, stupid, fart, burp, butt, etc. etc.  It was tiresome.  We mostly kept to that around his parents but I wasn't going to try to enforce that with my kids.  Sometimes things suck!  I've yet to find a better way to phrase that.  "Oh that's unfortunate" just doesn't always have the right ring to it.  

[Murphy101]

8 minutes ago, Heartstrings said:

I had to be corrected on that too.  I thought it was a slogan, like "Make it a Blockbuster Night".   

Hm... was that a euphemism too?  It was on TV, so it can't have been.   

Can it?  

Oh my goodness. Idk but I’m dying thinking about all the times my husband who worked at blockbuster pt back in the day would come home with a stack of free rentals for us to have a blockbuster night and never made that connection. Good grief. Who knew I’d end up with 11 kids? 😂  I’m going to have to ask him tomorrow if it meant that and if he knew it bc he is sleeping now.

90s tv had a LOT of euphemism that totally went over my head as a teen.  Or that I just didn’t pay attention to bc I thought they couldn’t possibly mean THAT.  But now we have to rewatch everything before letting the kids watch stuff. 

[Heartstrings]

Just now, Murphy101 said:

Oh my goodness. Idk but I’m dying thinking about all the times my husband who worked at blockbuster pt back in the day would come home with a stack of free rentals for us to have a blockbuster night and never made that connection. Good grief. Who knew I’d end up with 11 kids? 😂  I’m going to have to ask him tomorrow if it meant that and if he knew it bc he is sleeping now. 

You might be entitled to compensation from Blockbuster!  😄  Here you were, unaware of why that kept happening and it was Blockbuster the whole time!  

[WildflowerMom]

I’ve always known it as “bu*t f*** Egypt”.    

I only recently discovered the original is “BUM”.  🤦🏻‍♀️

[rebcoola]

Im from Washington it means butt f$ck egypt. Dont hear it as much anymore its definitely a common acronym and its not unusual for people to just say it.  

[kbutton]

Never heard of it, nor the connotation of Netflix and chill.

 

[Murphy101]

WHY does b*tt sound so much worse than bum? 🤔

[Murphy101]

1 minute ago, kbutton said:

Never heard of it, nor the connotation of Netflix and chill.

 

Netflix and chill means basicly a no stress hookup at your place.  It’s the new version of “Let’s go to my place for a nightcap/drink.”  At least that’s what all the younguns tell me is the saying these days. 

[Murphy101]

Or for those watching kdramas it’s like being asked in for ramen. 

[WildflowerMom]

1 minute ago, Murphy101 said:

Netflix and chill means basicly a no stress hookup at your place.  It’s the new version of “Let’s go to my place for a nightcap/drink.”  At least that’s what all the younguns tell me is the saying these days. 

I think that was a booty call in my day, lol. 

[Murphy101]

Just now, WildflowerMom said:

I think that was a booty call in my day, lol. 

Pretty much. 

[Laura Corin]

Husband - from Texas - used to call middle of nowhere places 'East Jesus'. I don't know if that's regional. The only similar UK phrase that I can think of is 'the back of beyond '.

[Clarita]

I've never heard the acronym and I didn't know about the Netflix thing either. 

3 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

I don’t think it’s better for them to use an acronym just bc they don’t know what it stands for? How is that better? It doesn’t not mean that just bc you don’t know - right?

Yes you did the right thing. I would have appreciated knowing. I've had people tell me things that I thought were innocent and they inform me it's not. I've always appreciated it. 

[sweet2ndchance]

I've never heard anyone use the acronym "BFE". I've heard and used the phrase since I was a teen but I've always known not to use it in polite company (or when I was a teen, I knew not to use it with my parents who also had the long list of "vulgar" words listed above and more)

I've also always known the euphemism of Netflix and chill. Maybe because it came about about the time my adult kids were becoming teens?

My husband plays a card game with kids that he calls "ERS". The game itself is completely innocent but for whatever reason the name of the game is "Egyptian Rat Sh*t". I had never heard of or seen the game played before I met him. Kids love it though.

[Ausmumof3]

I’ve never heard it before. As @bookbard said you’d say, back of Bourke, out in the sticks, out in the boonies etc. 

[El...]

I hate when I use a phrase, don't know what it means, and then have no one tell me! I think they should be glad you defined it for them. Now they can use it with understanding. Ha!

I wonder if it felt rude to use a country to express no-where's-ville. Perhaps they suddenly felt it was insensitive or prejudicial, especially because they learned it flat, without humor. 

[teachermom2834]

I knew it as the butt version. I thought the OP was just being polite saying bum but if you are going to use the F word why be polite subbing bum for butt? 
 

And now that I have had my intellectually stimulating conversation for the day…lol.

[CTVKath]

Wow. I've learned something new today! Never heard of BFE or Nextflix and chill. We said "out in the boonies" or the "middle of nowhere". And I only have 2 kids so we completely missed the meaning of Blockbuster nights.

[pinball]

I know what BFE means.

Around here, tho, the phrase East Bu** F&ck is the phrase that means the middle of nowhere.

[Danae]

6 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

Right?!

Like who said it was vulgar bc while kids didn’t say it in elementary school, I never knew anyone else that thought it was vulgar so much as adult.  Nearly all adults said it. Like alcohol I guess? Idk.  People are a real pain to figure out how to interact with.  🤷‍♀️

I’m trying to understand how it could not be vulgar when it’s using a sex act as a metaphor,  isn’t that pretty much the definition of vulgar? Whether that makes it inappropriate for adults to use is a different question. 

[JustEm]

I've never heard BFE before. Here, if you are in the middle of nowhere you say bumble f*.

[fairfarmhand]

4 hours ago, sweet2ndchance said:

I've never heard anyone use the acronym "BFE". I've heard and used the phrase since I was a teen but I've always known not to use it in polite company (or when I was a teen, I knew not to use it with my parents who also had the long list of "vulgar" words listed above and more)

I've also always known the euphemism of Netflix and chill. Maybe because it came about about the time my adult kids were becoming teens?

My husband plays a card game with kids that he calls "ERS". The game itself is completely innocent but for whatever reason the name of the game is "Egyptian Rat Sh*t". I had never heard of or seen the game played before I met him. Kids love it though.

My kids call it Egyptian rat slap

[Katy]

1 hour ago, El... said:

I hate when I use a phrase, don't know what it means, and then have no one tell me! I think they should be glad you defined it for them. Now they can use it with understanding. Ha!

I wonder if it felt rude to use a country to express no-where's-ville. Perhaps they suddenly felt it was insensitive or prejudicial, especially because they learned it flat, without humor. 

It is rude, there’s a connotation that in rural Muslim areas men prefer sex with teen boys. I don’t think most people make the connection since 9/11 because soldiers had so much exposure to this sort of behavior in Afghanistan that it was less a condescending slur and more a series of actual news stories. But it definitely started as a condescending slur. 

[alisoncooks]

I’ve never heard it before (east coast). I suppose it’s vulgar, just as much as SNAFU, but people use that one all the time in polite conversation. I could guess that the “b” portion of the phrase makes it more graphic than the “f” alone. 

Edited December 15, 2023 by alisoncooks

[kirstenhill]

I've never heard that acronym! (Midwest), but I did know the meaning of Netflix and chill.... 😁

[lauraw4321]

South east here and yes that’s what it stands for. Known it as long as I can remember. 

[KrissiK]

California here and yes, back in my high school days in the 80’s, that’s what it stood for. And everyone knew it.

[Kassia]

I grew up in FL and moved to Ohio for college and I never heard this before.  

I did know Netflix and chill.  

[Murphy101]

2 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

I knew it as the butt version. I thought the OP was just being polite saying bum but if you are going to use the F word why be polite subbing bum for butt?

I was being polite by saying f-ing and not the actual f*** part. But it’s always been bum to my limited knowledge. And I’ve always wondered the same as you.

1 hour ago, Danae said:

I’m trying to understand how it could not be vulgar when it’s using a sex act as a metaphor,  isn’t that pretty much the definition of vulgar? Whether that makes it inappropriate for adults to use is a different question. 

The acronym was an effort to NOT be vulgar while conveying a common situation. Like saying PITA.  

56 minutes ago, Katy said:

It is rude, there’s a connotation that in rural … areas men prefer sex with teen boys. 

Hold up! While I can imagine that your experience is true, that’s never what it meant here as far as, again, to my obviously limited knowledge. The bum was always understood to be cattle and had nothing to do with ethnic demographics.  So there’s that. ETA: as in they are far away from all the people so obviously there’s no people bum available. I’ve never heard it in a racist manner and I heard plenty of racism so I’m sure they wouldn’t have missed the chance.

37 minutes ago, alisoncooks said:

I’ve never heard it before (east coast). I suppose it’s vulgar, just as much as SNAFU, but people use that one all the time in polite conversation. I could guess that the “b” portion of the phrase makes it more graphic than the “f” alone. 

I’m scared to ask but I did not know that was an acronym. Snafu isn’t just a nifty word that means a small annoying cluster mistake? 

Edited December 15, 2023 by Murphy101