Grace Hopper Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 https://people.com/home/marie-kondo-admits-she-has-kind-of-given-up-on-tidying-up/ 6 1 31 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 DH and I were talking about that this morning. He called it “the ultimate schadenfreude” and waxed on about the joys of living in a mess. 2 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSera Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 12 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said: https://people.com/home/marie-kondo-admits-she-has-kind-of-given-up-on-tidying-up/ I always wondered what was going to happen if she had children. I didn’t realize she already had. There are a lot of aspects of her method that just don’t mesh with a household with children. Mine started falling apart sometime after number three as well 😂. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knitgrl Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 Parents with more kids might have a very different perspective, but for us, three kids was a tipping point. With three, you are outnumbered. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 With three little ones at home, including a toddler, I don't think she had much choice! That said, I think there is a difference between the hoarder-level-clutteredness she often dealt with on her show and just normal messy-house-with-kids. I think it makes life with kids a lot easier if you eliminate as much clutter as possible, so at least when it's time to pick up the mess, everything has a place to go and you're not just randomly tossing things in overflowing closets and shoving stuff under the bed. 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 5 minutes ago, knitgrl said: Parents with more kids might have a very different perspective, but for us, three kids was a tipping point. With three, you are outnumbered. My sister said three was the tipping point too 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 Three has sent me over the edge. I was a normal person with two kids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 10 minutes ago, KSera said: I always wondered what was going to happen if she had children. I didn’t realize she already had. My MIL is rather OCD about tidying up but she is also a hoarder. Her living room and kitchen is always tidy (close to showroom level). Bedrooms are more of live in tidy. Part of it is the traditional expectations on wives to maintain a clean house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knitgrl Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 23 minutes ago, Arcadia said: My MIL is rather OCD about tidying up but she is also a hoarder. Her living room and kitchen is always tidy (close to showroom level). Bedrooms are more of live in tidy. Part of it is the traditional expectations on wives to maintain a clean house. I read an interesting article recently (can't remember where) about the level of cleanliness people aspired to in the 1950's and how that was in part a reaction to growing up in an era with outhouses and kerosene lamps and woodstoves and lots of daily things that were really dirty. It was refreshing to see an effort to try to understand why that was. It certainly was a thing for my grandmother, born in 1910. Her house was immaculate. And every cupboard was crammed to the gills with stuff, but you would have never known it looking around. Being a packrat isn't the same as hoarding. It's not hoarding if you can't see it. 😆 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted January 28, 2023 Author Share Posted January 28, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, Corraleno said: With three little ones at home, including a toddler, I don't think she had much choice! That said, I think there is a difference between the hoarder-level-clutteredness she often dealt with on her show and just normal messy-house-with-kids. I think it makes life with kids a lot easier if you eliminate as much clutter as possible, so at least when it's time to pick up the mess, everything has a place to go and you're not just randomly tossing things in overflowing closets and shoving stuff under the bed. I completely agree with you and did use many konmari techniques when I did a big declutter a number of years ago. It is true that the fewer items you have to keep track of, the easier it is to tidy up. I just really got a chuckle when I saw this headline. 1 hour ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said: Three has sent me over the edge. I was a normal person with two kids. I never had just two kids, thanks to twins! We went right from Swedish style super neat to a joyous three ring circus. Fun times. 😁 Edited January 28, 2023 by Grace Hopper 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 I never had three children, either. We jumped from two to four. I expect that Marie Kondo's home is still much neater than average and neater than mine, for sure! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matryoshka Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 1 hour ago, knitgrl said: Parents with more kids might have a very different perspective, but for us, three kids was a tipping point. With three, you are outnumbered. I had two kids at once to start, and a third just 2.5 years later. I feel better about crying uncle. Though now that they're grown I'm finally trying to dig out. If only they'd stop moving their stuff (and sometimes themselves) back in every time they move apartments... 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 10 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said: I never had just two kids, thanks to twins! We went right from Swedish style super neat to a joyous three ring circus. Fun times. 😁 Same situation for us. That was tough! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa Louise Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 This post is going to be super annoying, because I always tidied, even with three. I kept all the toys in baskets, and at the end of the day, my kids would tidy everything back into the the baskets. It was important, because we had very little living space at that time, so I would have lost the plot if we hadn't tidied. I needed to have a tidy living space while I watched West Wing after they were asleep. But we also didn't have a lot of toys/belongings, and I was pretty ruthless about weeding. ~ People always think Marie Kondo was a minimalist. She isn't. Her first book was just, keep what you love, find a place for the things you love, return the things you love to those places after use. That's it! I think Marie Kondo is one of the people who I find most inspirational, lol. In my next life, I am definitely becoming a MK consultant. I am sure her 'admission' will only make her more relatable. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 3 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said: This post is going to be super annoying, because I always tidied, even with three. I kept all the toys in baskets, and at the end of the day, my kids would tidy everything back into the the baskets. It was important, because we had very little living space at that time, so I would have lost the plot if we hadn't tidied. I needed to have a tidy living space while I watched West Wing after they were asleep. But we also didn't have a lot of toys/belongings, and I was pretty ruthless about weeding. ~ People always think Marie Kondo was a minimalist. She isn't. Her first book was just, keep what you love, find a place for the things you love, return the things you love to those places after use. That's it! I think Marie Kondo is one of the people who I find most inspirational, lol. In my next life, I am definitely becoming a MK consultant. I am sure her 'admission' will only make her more relatable. I only have 1 kiddo, but we had a tiny apartment with only 2 closets (and one was just a tiny coat closet). We absolutely could not keep a lot of stuff because there was nowhere to put it. All toys went into the baskets at the end of the day because there was no room for stuff to just be laying about. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not_a_Number Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 3 hours ago, Corraleno said: With three little ones at home, including a toddler, I don't think she had much choice! That said, I think there is a difference between the hoarder-level-clutteredness she often dealt with on her show and just normal messy-house-with-kids. I think it makes life with kids a lot easier if you eliminate as much clutter as possible, so at least when it's time to pick up the mess, everything has a place to go and you're not just randomly tossing things in overflowing closets and shoving stuff under the bed. Yes. I’ve found that with kids, it’s even more imperative to stay on top of the mess, since the clutter builds up so easily. And I try to get the kids to own their part of it, too — they clean up their rooms, they help organize things into bins… It’s less stressful on all of our nervous systems to have the house be under control. And no, we aren’t at all neat freaks. Of course, I only have two kids… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanier.1765 Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 3 hours ago, vonfirmath said: My sister said three was the tipping point too It definitely was for us, especially since he was the one into wall decor as a toddler. Crayons, markers, pencils, sharpies, poop (yes, poop!). I don't know how he kept finding the things to decorate to the walls with. It was exhausting. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 1 hour ago, stephanier.1765 said: It definitely was for us, especially since he was the one into wall decor as a toddler. Crayons, markers, pencils, sharpies, poop (yes, poop!). I don't know how he kept finding the things to decorate to the walls with. It was exhausting. I gave up on the walls. Half the walls in my house are painted with chalkboard paint--if you can't beat'em, join'em. 3 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 (edited) 8 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said: Three has sent me over the edge. I was a normal person with two kids. Us too. Three was the killer, and four was the nail in the coffin of normalcy so to speak. Double out numbered means just give up the pretense! Edited January 29, 2023 by Faith-manor 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted January 29, 2023 Author Share Posted January 29, 2023 5 hours ago, Melissa Louise said: This post is going to be super annoying, because I always tidied, even with three. I kept all the toys in baskets, and at the end of the day, my kids would tidy everything back into the the baskets. It was important, because we had very little living space at that time, so I would have lost the plot if we hadn't tidied. I needed to have a tidy living space while I watched West Wing after they were asleep. But we also didn't have a lot of toys/belongings, and I was pretty ruthless about weeding. ~ People always think Marie Kondo was a minimalist. She isn't. Her first book was just, keep what you love, find a place for the things you love, return the things you love to those places after use. That's it! I think Marie Kondo is one of the people who I find most inspirational, lol. In my next life, I am definitely becoming a MK consultant. I am sure her 'admission' will only make her more relatable. Not annoying! You’re probably much more disciplined than me. I’ve always had to work really hard at being a good housekeeper. The kids did help clean up with good nature, but I didn’t always have the energy to keep the ship tight. I used to joke with dh about which rooms in our house were the “public rooms” that I tried to keep company ready. But other parts of the house while the kids were early elementary…. Lego minefields! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
easypeasy Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 lol. Three was definitely the life-changer in the tidy-house department for us, too. I think the biggest issue was having three kids at different "stages." Like - when you have one toddler, you have toddler toys for one child and can keep that somewhat corralled. I would just sort of follow our oldest around, putting things away as she tired of them. But, when you have three kids, you likely have a "child," a "toddler," AND a "baby," so even if you try to minimize the excess, you STILL have "stuff" for three separate stages of childhood to keep three separate children educated, entertained, and stimulated. That takes up SPACE, no matter who ya are! Mine are all grown now and I am STILL decluttering childhood things. I simply didn't have the time to sort through all the nooks, crannies, bookshelves, closets, boxes, attic stuff while they were growing up and we were homeschooling. NOW I have the time, but it's a lot of stuff I have tucked away. If we'd have had a smaller house, obviously, I would have HAD to do something about it, but we live in a largeish house with tons of built-in storage.... so I stored! 😄 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 Different people have different life-changers. For me, it was chronic illness plus having children. I am glad to see that MK has had some flexibility in her life. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 Although some of her stuff doesn’t work well with kids (not emptying my purse every time I get home! No time for that) other bits work pretty well. I spent a fair bit of time doing “do you love this” culling with my older kids and they now know to do it themselves. Ironically it’s me that struggles to get rid of stuff now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarita Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 Everyone can feel better about themselves with my post. My house is now less messy with 2 kids than it was when it was just my husband and me. It says a lot about the state of my house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popmom Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 11 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said: Three has sent me over the edge. I was a normal person with two kids. My firstborns were twins. That was my tipping point. I was not a normal person with 2 kids. Then I had a third when they were 3. There was never any easing into anything parenting. lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popmom Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 2 hours ago, Faith-manor said: Us too. Three was the killer, and four was the nail in the coffin of normalcy so to speak. Double out numbered means just give up the pretense! Weirdly, the fourth for us was not an issue--at least as it pertained to housekeeping. I think it was because there was 5 full years between the third and fourth child. So I had two 8 year olds and a 5 year old when she came along. Doable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madteaparty Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 It was a silly trend anyway. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 5 hours ago, popmom said: Weirdly, the fourth for us was not an issue--at least as it pertained to housekeeping. I think it was because there was 5 full years between the third and fourth child. So I had two 8 year olds and a 5 year old when she came along. Doable. I can see that. I had a 9 year old, and three 3.5 years and under. So one just potty trained, one potty training, and a new baby and after that it was like, "Okay, so the music studio and waiting area, the half bath needs to be kept clean for the piano students and parents. The kitchen will get disinfected regularly. The play room, bedrooms, and living room are just going to be a mess, and I am going to try not to think about it." Eventually those boys started picking up. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 I figure her idea of not being tidy isn’t anything near most people’s ideas of not being tidy! And when the kids are a bit older, she’ll be able to jump back in and get things in order again if she likes. It just makes her more relatable. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebcoola Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 I wasn't tidy before kids. It's bordering on pure chaos most of the time lol. There isn't a NT person in this house so that's part of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 11 hours ago, popmom said: Weirdly, the fourth for us was not an issue--at least as it pertained to housekeeping. I think it was because there was 5 full years between the third and fourth child. So I had two 8 year olds and a 5 year old when she came along. Doable. #4 was my easiest transition, by far! I was very young with #1 and kind of an emotional wreck. #2 was so colicky, and #3 was born 13 months later, also colicky. When they were finally closer to 4, 5, and 9, life became so much easier. And then I had the easiest baby in the world!!! It was a trick. #5 was rough, and I went right back to square 1. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted January 30, 2023 Share Posted January 30, 2023 (edited) Everyone has a different tipping point. I spent middle DS’s 2nd year (12 - 24 mos, maybe a bit longer) basically trapped in bed with occasional forays out. We had live-in help, and I had to just suck it up and let them do things their way. By the time I was rejoining the family in earnest, things were rolling along and I didn’t make a lot of changes until really feeling better. My MIL used to say she knew I’d turned the corner when I started cleaning out cabinets. As for clutter, though, it was when we had an older teen, an 8 yr old and a baby that we absolutely outgrew our former home. Whew. Things were tight! Edited January 30, 2023 by Spryte Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted January 30, 2023 Share Posted January 30, 2023 I started behind the game when I had kids because I compulsively slept most hours I wasn’t working when I was pregnant with my first (I would fall asleep with my dinner plate on my lap during the early evening news, get up from that nap at ten, then go right to bed). We moved from an apartment to a house when I was six weeks along, and the fatigue didn’t abate the whole pregnancy. We were never even completely settled after the move for several years. Then first DS was a difficult baby and high needs person. I developed what was thought to be allergies to the whole world mostly out of the blue (I have an MCAS diagnosis now). Boy #2 was not a good sleeper and required forty plus hours per week to nurse oh so slowly. I did keep my house sanitary because I was at big risk of not being able to breathe around even mild amounts of dust (I was so sensitive that I could smell tiny amounts it in even insanely clean spaces), but it was rarely all that neat. And the circles under my eyes—I looked like a raccoon. Special times, lol!!! I hope MK enjoys her kids, messier or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 30, 2023 Share Posted January 30, 2023 big giant eyeroll - there are now people claiming it is racist that people are finding this amusing. um - those of us with multiple small children can smile at the reality check of someone who now has multiple very small children finding out that there is a limit to time and energy . . . it has zilch to do with racism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 30, 2023 Share Posted January 30, 2023 7 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said: big giant eyeroll - there are now people claiming it is racist that people are finding this amusing. um - those of us with multiple small children can smile at the reality check of someone who now has multiple very small children finding out that there is a limit to time and energy . . . it has zilch to do with racism. I found it terribly annoying that people thought that Marie Kondo was representative of all Japanese people. She's not. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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