Help me decide how I react (job related, long)

[dirty ethel rackham]

"I've decided to pursue other opportunities that better match my skillset and future goals."  Rinse, repeat.  Keep it courteous and professional.

You don't owe them overtime so don't get sucked into that one.  They made their decision.  They get to deal with the consequences.  I'd take a few sick days.  

[AngieC]

I would not lie.  First, they're most likely going to see through it anyway and second, it might help them reconsider their actions to any future employee.  We're all entitled to resign from a job for any reason, at any time.  Giving two weeks notice is usually the professional thing to do, so as long as you do that, you don't owe them any reasons or explanations.  They know they screwed you over and they had to know there was a reasonable chance of your resignation when they didn't offer you the job. Hopefully they are decent enough to not try to do it twice by giving you an unwarranted bad reference.

Hang in there!

[Harriet Vane]

I agree with the others. Don't talk about moving. Just don't talk. There is absolutely no need to be gushy about enjoying your work there, nor is there any need to be "nice" and offer the move as the "real" reason. And you have not missed the window to rage-quit. Not one bit. 

[brehon]

1 hour ago, Moonhawk said:

can give reasons (we are moving, i have an offer in hand, both of which are technically true since we will probably move since no job and DH wants me to help him with his business for a couple months, obviously I’d be vague on details) if it would help smooth feathers and allow me to use him as a reference. Or i can just let it be the assumed/real reason and just emphasize how much i have enjoyed working with him during my time here.

Don’t offer reasons or “reasons”. Don’t smooth over. Don’t emphasize anything; I mean, have you actually enjoyed being jerked around like you have been? You owe them nothing. 

1 hour ago, Moonhawk said:

Could offer 2 weeks plus (paid) overtime since that’s the only possible way I could tie up 2/3 of my loose ends, we really have been overwhelmed. They don’t like overtime so I doubt they’d take me up on the offer, though they really, really should. Could also offer 3 weeks notice with the pre-approval of 2-3 sick days during those last weeks. 

Don’t offer loyalty, even paid loyalty, to them who have proven to be unworthy of you. This organization has shown itself to be so incredibly unprofessional that it just boggles the mind. You owe them nothing.

What @dirty ethel rackham wrote is perfect. Don’t elaborate on it. 

[fraidycat]

Don't emphasize anything. Don't give reasons or excuses.

To whom it may concern:

My final day of work with this company will be September 9, 2022.

Moonhawk

YOU do not have any loose ends. THEY have loose ends. Go in to work at start time, take your lunch and breaks, leave at your end time. Whatever gets done, gets done. Whatever doesn't, doesn't. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

They were counting on you to feel beholden to them or feel guilty for leaving them in a bind. Do not let them be right. Some people need to learn the hard way that actions have consequences. Let them learn.

Edited August 26, 2022 by fraidycat

[livetoread]

Agreed. You've decided to pursue other opportunities and two week notice asap. No other explanation, no gushing. They will respect you more because they know they screwed you over. Thanking them etc would just be weird and a bit pathetic. Go out professionally with your head up. And who cares if they are overwhelmed. Not your problem anymore. 

[Moonhawk]

Ok guys, what am I missing here. 

Ive talked to my sisters and they are basically like, “well you still have a job, so at least you’re not being laid off.” And that I “can’t leave a job without a new one in line, that’s ridiculous, just put your pride aside and do what you gotta do for your family.” and maybe “they must like you to have you up front and the face of the organization!” and “just bring up that you hope to be considered for the next position that opens up! You need to give them a chance to figure things out!” and “go back in tomorrow, chin up! don’t look bitter or angry about it!” and “remember how excited you were for this job! and how good the benefits are! and you’re still getting paid the same!”

So am I focusing too much on my anger? I don’t think so. But Maybe I should look harder at the get a new job before resigning. 

Edited August 26, 2022 by Moonhawk

[AngieC]

For me, it would depend on my family’s finances. If we needed my income, then I would 100% do as your sisters’ recommended until I had a new job. If I didn’t need the job (or any job) at all, I might walk out. And if the need for my income were somewhere in the middle, my response would depend the specifics of my situation.

Realistically, only you and your husband know just how much your family needs your income and just how quickly you think you can get a new job. Don’t make a rash decision because you’re upset, but don’t stick around because you’re loyal.

 

 

[Danae]

If your family needs the money, keep the job until you find a new one.  
 

But before giving them another chance, remember that this happened because they weren’t able to find someone to hire for the front desk position.  Their solution was to post the more desirable job and slide you into the one they couldn’t get anyone to apply for.  Even if they want to move you back off the desk, what is their strategy to find someone to hire, and what will make that search successful?  Either they don’t have a strategy, and are just planning to leave you on the desk, or they do, in which case why didn’t they use it this time?

[Harriet Vane]

4 minutes ago, Moonhawk said:

Ok guys, what am I missing here. 

Ive talked to my sisters and they are basically like, “well you still have a job, so at least you’re not being laid off.” And that I “can’t leave a job without a new one in line, that’s ridiculous, just put your pride aside and do what you gotta do for your family.” and maybe “they must like you to have you up front and the face of the organization!” and “just bring up that you hope to be considered for the next position that opens up! You need to give them a chance to figure things out!” and “go back in tomorrow, chin up! don’t look bitter or angry about it!”

So am I focusing too much on my anger? I don’t think so. But yeah. Maybe I should look harder at the get a new job before resigning. 

Let's take these one at a time.

"Well you still have a job, so at least you're not being laid off."

This is a reflection of the harsh reality of corporate culture. As in, huge corporations that lay off people as a regular business practice. What size is this company? I had the impression it's not a huge corporation. 

This is also a reflection of economics, as is the next statement: “can’t leave a job without a new one in line, that’s ridiculous, just put your pride aside and do what you gotta do for your family.”

In other words, if you're worried about budget and cannot buy food or pay your mortgage, this would be valid. If your budget can allow you to step away, then stepping away IS a valid option. Only you and your husband can answer that question. If budget is not an issue, then you can choose the option that feels best to YOU. Also you mentioned up thread that you might assist in your husband's business? That's also a totally valid use of your time and skills IF that is something you want to do and can afford to do.

“they must like you to have you up front and the face of the organization!”

No, this is not true. Not one little bit. Manning the desk at the front is not a huge PR job. It's considered entry level in most workplaces. They have you manning the desk because it is convenient for them. You know this because they said so.

“just bring up that you hope to be considered for the next position that opens up! You need to give them a chance to figure things out!”

They have had plenty of chance to figure things out, and they have chosen to renege for no good reason. 

“go back in tomorrow, chin up! don’t look bitter or angry about it!”

I agree not to look bitter or angry. The aura you are aiming for is ice queen. Nothing ruffles the surface and nothing disturbs you, because you are a professional. Do not beg for their sympathy and do not display a puppy-like desire to please. And get out of there, because they renege on their commitments and they undervalue your skills.

 

A final note, from personal experience:

Someone I care about was in a similar situation, in a large corporation. This person did something Really Amazing, a very legitimate Big Deal. The corporation promoted someone in a lower position to be in charge. It was a knife in the back, especially after stellar reviews for years and all the work the person did to make the Big Deal happen. This person chose to maintain the family's income while quietly starting to look for another job. This person's decision was driven by the fact that they are the main breadwinner and because a job change would almost certainly necessitate an interstate move. In light of those two really huge factors, this person did want income to cushion the process. 

So the idea is to measure what your personal stakes are. That will lead you to the answer that is best for you. Leaving immediately is a valid and legitimate option, and frankly, it's the option that employer deserves after pulling a stunt like this. But if you are concerned about budget, then be the ice queen and do whatever is necessary to get the next job lined up.

[fraidycat]

I don't know that I can do a decent job of articulating in a succint enough manner, all the underlying crap that undermines the thought processes of so many of us (myself included more often than I care for) re: feeling guilty about standing up for yourself, on principle.

But, I do have a very, very strong dislike of $@(&ing Toxic Positivity. No, you are not focusing too much on your anger. Anger is a very misunderstood emotion and is the emotion of power and strength that can rise up within you to HELP you take steps to protect yourself when sonething is not fair. This whole situation is really NOT fair to you and you should be angry right now.

The job you have is not the job you were excited about.

Only you and your DH can make the decision whether you leave ASAP, or leave later, with regards to your finances.

Taking everything else out of the equation, they treated you like crap, lied, and are counting on you to "be grateful you still have a job". If this were one of your children whar would you advise them to do?

[Moonhawk]

I’m doing a full risk-benefit analysis on the 3 main options tonight. (iow, it’s not going to be an emotional decision. or purely emotional, anyway, lol)

We have an acceptable level in the bank if I lost the job tomorrow.  I don’t generally share my financial position with family and they probably have an impression that is a bit out of date. I am the main bread right now though so obviously there is risk involved whatever I do.

 

[footballmom]

Quit the job tomorrow - the people who have benefited from your can do hard working work ethic have only taken advantage of you.  They bait and switched you and will continue to take you for granted.  They have zero motivation and have decelerated your goal of growth and learning.
 

Will the new hire now be your boss? Because not many people are mature enough to manage strong performers that were their top competition for a job.  
 

Don’t bake up an excuse that would give them any reason to believe this has anything to do with something outside of how they treated you.  “My business value has exceeded the opportunities I have been aligned to and my last day is September 9.”

[katilac]

I would do what benefits me most, which would be to continue in the job while diligently pursuing other opportunities. I would be doing exactly the work I was being paid for. 

You can always give notice two weeks before the new person starts, if you will struggle with helping onboard them, but giving notice now, or quitting without notice now, hurts you in the long run more than it hurts them.

Or you could quit without notice right before they start, but I don't see the benefit of doing it now. We'd love to think it will teach them a lesson, but, sadly, it will not. Companies and managers who do this once always continue to do it, even if the last time resulted in a lot of extra time and money being spent to fill the hole of someone who quit because of it. 

Getting a job is easier when you have a job. No matter how stupid we might consider it, it's true. 

Do I recall correctly that the other person isn't even starting for six weeks or so? That gives you a full month of papering the town with resumes, even if you give notice. Hiring processes can be slow, even when companies are shorthanded, and I don't see why you should go a month or more without pay just bc you don't want to work there long-term. 

It sounds like you want a career, so don't think about just this job or the next one. Take the long view. A lot of industries are very small worlds, so riding at dawn can hurt your plans. Don't let a stupid action on their part interfere with your plans. The working world is full of stupidity, and you can't let it control you. 

Edited August 26, 2022 by katilac

[Laura Corin]

4 hours ago, Moonhawk said:

I’m doing a full risk-benefit analysis on the 3 main options tonight. (iow, it’s not going to be an emotional decision. or purely emotional, anyway, lol)

We have an acceptable level in the bank if I lost the job tomorrow.  I don’t generally share my financial position with family and they probably have an impression that is a bit out of date. I am the main bread right now though so obviously there is risk involved whatever I do.

 

I am the main breadwinner too. I would personally find another job before leaving.

[thewellerman]

I keep thinking, "A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush."

If they hadn't opened up the position you wanted, what was your mental timeline for quitting?  Why are you quitting now?  Nothing has really changed.  You were waiting for advancement, and you still are.  Now you just know it isn't likely to be at this company.  

I wouldn't rage quit, or revenge quit.  It seems like that is actually hurting yourself.  I'd make it a priority to move on, but I wouldn't burn any bridges or lose any income in the meantime.  It isn't toxic positivity to set yourself up the best way possible, and that is probably going to involve being content in your current position while you arrange things to move in a different direction.  I wouldn't even ask for new title or raise, just accept the information I now have (which is that advancement there is unlikely), and look for something else.  

[Hilltopmom]

I don’t know what your current salary is, but you could probably walk into most public schools tomorrow and get a job subbing full time. 
that could  tide you over until you decide to move, or find something else. 

[QueenCat]

17 hours ago, Moonhawk said:

Ok guys, what am I missing here. 

Ive talked to my sisters and they are basically like, “well you still have a job, so at least you’re not being laid off.” And that I “can’t leave a job without a new one in line, that’s ridiculous, just put your pride aside and do what you gotta do for your family.” and maybe “they must like you to have you up front and the face of the organization!” and “just bring up that you hope to be considered for the next position that opens up! You need to give them a chance to figure things out!” and “go back in tomorrow, chin up! don’t look bitter or angry about it!” and “remember how excited you were for this job! and how good the benefits are! and you’re still getting paid the same!”

So am I focusing too much on my anger? I don’t think so. But Maybe I should look harder at the get a new job before resigning. 

You are being jerked around and should be upset. You said your husband is fine with you quitting. Ignore the sisters this time around.

[QueenCat]

I think you would really regret staying come October, when the new person starts. 

[KungFuPanda]

Given that you’re the main bread winner, I’d probably delay gratification and play it safer while lining up interviews. That sucks, but I’m not sure I’d risk my bank balance. 

[mommyoffive]

1 minute ago, KungFuPanda said:

Given that you’re the main bread winner, I’d probably delay gratification and play it safer while lining up interviews. That sucks, but I’m not sure I’d risk my bank balance. 

this is where my head is now too.  Maybe I missed it in all the starting posts, but I didn't know that part until your post today.  I think only you can know your finances (along with your dh).  If your finances are fine without you working, than maybe you want to do it.

[mommyoffive]

4 hours ago, Hilltopmom said:

I don’t know what your current salary is, but you could probably walk into most public schools tomorrow and get a job subbing full time. 
that could  tide you over until you decide to move, or find something else. 

I just heard on the news that the schools in the big city near us as school is either starting next week or after right after Labor Day and they were sort something like 200 teachers.  Not subs, but real everyday teachers.  And they had started missing almost 600.  They were doing an open job opening at night with immediate interviews.  I don't even know what the qualifications are for teaching at this point.

[Moonhawk]

I have a resignation letter printed. Haven’t pulled the trigger yet, has been a bad day for the department, i.e. my boss. But he’s been in an exceptionally good mood all day, this is killing me.

risk benefit Analysis shows leaving now to be best overall. Not quitting, but resigning. 10 main factors taken into account. Leaving later or waiting for new job first has some complications; i have a whole thing written i was going to post, but in the end I guess it doesn’t matter the reasons as much as the conclusion. DH agrees, which matters more than most factors. 

I am so sad. 

[KungFuPanda]

I’m picturing you walking away from an explosion in an evening gown and this is very satisfying. 😬

[mommyoffive]

5 minutes ago, Moonhawk said:

I have a resignation letter printed. Haven’t pulled the trigger yet, has been a bad day for the department, i.e. my boss. But he’s been in an exceptionally good mood all day, this is killing me.

risk benefit Analysis shows leaving now to be best overall. Not quitting, but resigning. 10 main factors taken into account. Leaving later or waiting for new job first has some complications; i have a whole thing written i was going to post, but in the end I guess it doesn’t matter the reasons as much as the conclusion. DH agrees, which matters more than most factors. 

I am so sad. 

Just sending you some hugs.  I totally support you doing what is best for you and your family.  If resigning now is best do it.   You and your dh agree it is best and that is all that matters. 

 

[EmilyGF]

31 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

Given that you’re the main bread winner, I’d probably delay gratification and play it safer while lining up interviews. That sucks, but I’m not sure I’d risk my bank balance. 

When my parents' company was sold, the new owner really disrespected my father extremely. My father was so ready, like you, to burn his bridges and walk out on the guy. Others persuaded him not to, and he ended up benefitting in the long run.

In my experience, burning bridges usually hurts the burner more than than the "burned," and hanging in there, when possible, usually is the better long term strategy. We generally don't make the best decisions when angry and offended. Also, getting a job is easiest while employed. Start the hunt yesterday. 🙂

Emily

[Carol in Cal.]

I don’t think you have to be super positive and puppy doggish there, nor do you have to be icy and demonstrably PO’ed.  Rather, you should be normal.  Difficult but necessary, and ultimately devastating if and when you leave.

There is nothing wrong with leaving to state what you will and won’t put up with.  This does not have to be done angrily, and in fact it should not be.  It should be even in tone and factual.  “The job is not what I signed on for, and the remediation of that did not occur as promised.  Hence I will be leaving to seek an opportunity that more completely utilizes my skill set and in which I am compensated appropriately considering my abilities and achievements.”  That’s the message, not “I am so pissed off” or “Angry” or “Hurt”.  It’s business like and professional.

That’s how you could leave now.

If you want to wait around, literally the only way to do that effectively is to keep them guessing by acting perfectly normal.  And then you leave in the same way as above, on your terms when you are ready, possibly soon, possibly after you have lined up your next job, and possibly giving notice just in time to not train your replacement.  Unless you are completely desperate, which it doesn’t sound like you are, you should absolutely not train your replacement.  

[Moonhawk]

Since this is the longest lunch break EVER in the history of man, here's more info about the decision process, lol.

Factors considered for each main course of action:

• Time.(Right now it’s my most valuable resource)
• Energy
• Home life. 
• Opportunity.
• Work load and duties
• Health and insurance.
• Short term finances
• Long term finances
• DH Business
• Career trajectory
• Other things discussed and factored but not formally compared. This included some stuff personal to DH and me. 

Not all factors agreed on one course of action. But the majority aligned, and the negatives of NOT going with the majority definitely outweighed the cautious track.

Wellerman asks a good point of how I would have done things if the other job hadn’t been a factor. Originally I had set July as my no-more-front internal deadline, to coincide with my annual review and tell them there that we needed to find a different solution because I was done. And give them about a month to figure something out. So the interview and whole promotion factor has worked in their favor (surprise, lol) in terms of keeping me quiet and up front.

Katilac's points about long view were also well taken; in short, though, I think trying to secure a new position before leaving this one will only extend the pain and close doors I may have been able to get if my full-time effort was put into the job search instead of a dead end position. 

And, frankly, I never would have applied to this position if it was up front. I never would have accepted it. I stayed up front with the intention that it was temporary — not because I was waiting for advancement, but because I was covering a position while already having a higher position. If they told me I didn’t get the Second position but they were posting an front desk opening this week so I could get back to what I was supposed to be doing, I’d be ticked but I’d honestly probably go along with it, sending out resumes but being picky. But they are permanently making me front desk. They are demoting me but telling me it’s ok because I’m paid the same. THAT is what has changed.

I've been actively looking for ways to not burn bridges, hence all my thought experiments of saying different things. I don't think I've been fully understood when I talk about references: my goal is to be able to use my boss, and Big boss, as professional references. Not just the general call to verify I worked here, but as select persons listed to attest to my abilities, with their personal number. That's why I'm putting to much effort into making this transition work for them; I have a great working relationship with everyone in the office and I think they'd be happy to be references IF I handle this right. I want this personally, but also from a practical standpoint I didn't get the skills, training, or experience I was supposed to in this position, so the best thing I can carry forward are the references. 

Essentially, the strongest reason I found to stay was to help out my Boss. And that just isn't enough. 

 

[Catwoman]

I think you have made an excellent and well-thought-out decision! Good for you!!!!

 

[Harriet Vane]

Your reasoning makes sense. You go, girl!

[QueenCat]

1 hour ago, EmilyGF said:

When my parents' company was sold, the new owner really disrespected my father extremely. My father was so ready, like you, to burn his bridges and walk out on the guy. Others persuaded him not to, and he ended up benefitting in the long run.

In my experience, burning bridges usually hurts the burner more than than the "burned," and hanging in there, when possible, usually is the better long term strategy. We generally don't make the best decisions when angry and offended. Also, getting a job is easiest while employed. Start the hunt yesterday. 🙂

Emily

If she gives two weeks  notice and remains professional, she is not burning bridges. 

[Wheres Toto]

17 minutes ago, QueenCat said:

If she gives two weeks  notice and remains professional, she is not burning bridges. 

I agree, giving the normal two weeks notice is not burning bridges. 

You aren't making an impulsive decision, you've weighed the pros and cons, you and dh agree to the best course of action.   That is the course I would follow.  

[KungFuPanda]

20 hours ago, Moonhawk said:

Since this is the longest lunch break EVER in the history of man, here's more info about the decision process, lol.

Factors considered for each main course of action:

• Time.(Right now it’s my most valuable resource)
• Energy
• Home life. 
• Opportunity.
• Work load and duties
• Health and insurance.
• Short term finances
• Long term finances
• DH Business
• Career trajectory
• Other things discussed and factored but not formally compared. This included some stuff personal to DH and me. 

Not all factors agreed on one course of action. But the majority aligned, and the negatives of NOT going with the majority definitely outweighed the cautious track.

Wellerman asks a good point of how I would have done things if the other job hadn’t been a factor. Originally I had set July as my no-more-front internal deadline, to coincide with my annual review and tell them there that we needed to find a different solution because I was done. And give them about a month to figure something out. So the interview and whole promotion factor has worked in their favor (surprise, lol) in terms of keeping me quiet and up front.

Katilac's points about long view were also well taken; in short, though, I think trying to secure a new position before leaving this one will only extend the pain and close doors I may have been able to get if my full-time effort was put into the job search instead of a dead end position. 

And, frankly, I never would have applied to this position if it was up front. I never would have accepted it. I stayed up front with the intention that it was temporary — not because I was waiting for advancement, but because I was covering a position while already having a higher position. If they told me I didn’t get the Second position but they were posting an front desk opening this week so I could get back to what I was supposed to be doing, I’d be ticked but I’d honestly probably go along with it, sending out resumes but being picky. But they are permanently making me front desk. They are demoting me but telling me it’s ok because I’m paid the same. THAT is what has changed.

I've been actively looking for ways to not burn bridges, hence all my thought experiments of saying different things. I don't think I've been fully understood when I talk about references: my goal is to be able to use my boss, and Big boss, as professional references. Not just the general call to verify I worked here, but as select persons listed to attest to my abilities, with their personal number. That's why I'm putting to much effort into making this transition work for them; I have a great working relationship with everyone in the office and I think they'd be happy to be references IF I handle this right. I want this personally, but also from a practical standpoint I didn't get the skills, training, or experience I was supposed to in this position, so the best thing I can carry forward are the references. 

Essentially, the strongest reason I found to stay was to help out my Boss. And that just isn't enough. 

 

This reads like you are already gone. I say put in that notice and make it official. 

[Moonhawk]

The saga continues, lol.

So, I read the room and changed the plan as I went along. 

Long story short, we talked 15 minutes: I said he is the best introduction to the field and I enjoy working with him. But my job has materially changed and the opportunities I came for are no longer here. I wasn't happy with how things turned out. And I had to make a decision to get me back in forward motion on my career. (and here I patted the file folder my resignation was in, on the table between us)

He asked me if he could have the weekend to put together a proposal to keep me. I said I needed to make a decision by Monday. He thanked me for the heads up and opportunity and I said that I hoped it worked out. I took the folder back with me on my way out. It was 4:55 when I walked out of his office. 

So, not what I was planning on when I walked in, but I'm comfortable resigning on Monday if his offer isn't a 20+% raise and a new title, or if he won't accept my counteroffer of that. DH agrees the raise would be worth it, if it puts me on a similar pay as I would have been on with the promotion (and a title that I feel adds to my resume).

But we are assuming it's not going to work and proceeding as if I'd already resigned (job hunting, looking at moving locations, etc).

[catz]

Thanks Moonhawk for the update, I've been watching for one!

I hope the next step is crystal clear on Monday.  I will continue lurking about.  ❤️  

[mommyoffive]

Ahh.  I hope on Monday you get the resolution to this one way or another.

[Lady Marmalade]

Long time lurker, first time poster to this thread. 

I can't wait to see what happens Monday!   Your reasonings for leaving are so solid and well-thought out.   Your boss's response to you when he well knows what's in that folder in front of him is definitely encouraging.   I don't know which way to hope for, but I hope you can be at peace with the results. 

[Jaybee]

@Moonhawk, my first reaction upthread was hotheaded, and likely I would not have carried it off if it were me. I must say that the more I read of how you are handling this whole thing, the more impressed I am at your professionalism and cool head, even if you might not feel that way internally. I, too, am going to be on pins and needles waiting to hear what he says on Monday. I hope you are able to distract yourself over the weekend!

[Soror]

Way to go, advocating for yourself. You handled yourself professionally, whatever the outcome I hope you have peace of mind. I'll be waiting for Monday!

[TravelingChris]

I have been reading along this thread and not responding because I thought most people were saying what I thought.  

I just want to add that I think even if he offers more money but same work conditions,i.e. being a very well paid receptionist, I still think you should actively be looking for a new position.  Not only will you still hate what you are doing, in October you would be stuck training  a person to do the job you were supposed to be doing in the first place as per their statements when they hired you.

I would not trust any promises to hire receptionist or almost any other promise. They lied about the initial position and have lied or behaved very, very strangely a number of times.  That whole interview process was totally bizarre.

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.   

[Guest]

On 8/25/2022 at 8:16 PM, fraidycat said:

Don't emphasize anything. Don't give reasons or excuses.

To whom it may concern:

My final day of work with this company will be September 9, 2022.

Moonhawk

YOU do not have any loose ends. THEY have loose ends. Go in to work at start time, take your lunch and breaks, leave at your end time. Whatever gets done, gets done. Whatever doesn't, doesn't. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

They were counting on you to feel beholden to them or feel guilty for leaving them in a bind. Do not let them be right. Some people need to learn the hard way that actions have consequences. Let them learn.

This is meant for Moonhawk but it is excruciatingly relevant to my own work situation now, especially the bolded part. There is a part of me that wants to set up every file perfectly so whomever comes behind me will be amazed at the wonderful condition all the files were left in, lol. I’m an incorrigible praise hound, even when I’m not there to hear it! 

[Jaybee]

33 minutes ago, Quill said:

This is meant for Moonhawk but it is excruciatingly relevant to my own work situation now, especially the bolded part. There is a part of me that wants to set up every file perfectly so whomever comes behind me will be amazed at the wonderful condition all the files were left in, lol. I’m an incorrigible praise hound, even when I’m not there to hear it! 

When I left my job awhile back, I let them know earlier than normal, because I knew my boss would be panicky over it. I cleaned up the files online, left detailed instructions about every single part of my job, and tried to train the person who followed me. He only half paid attention when I tried to train him and tell him how boss preferred things to be done. He basically ignored a lot of it. And then he left only a few months later. I answered a few phone calls from the next person who took the job, but a lot of my work was a waste. Except that I left feeling I had done my best. So yeah, do what you can but don't go getting in a tizzy about what won't get done! They'll figure it out.

[Catwoman]

2 hours ago, TravelingChris said:

I have been reading along this thread and not responding because I thought most people were saying what I thought.  

I just want to add that I think even if he offers more money but same work conditions,i.e. being a very well paid receptionist, I still think you should actively be looking for a new position.  Not only will you still hate what you are doing, in October you would be stuck training  a person to do the job you were supposed to be doing in the first place as per their statements when they hired you.

I would not trust any promises to hire receptionist or almost any other promise. They lied about the initial position and have lied or behaved very, very strangely a number of times.  That whole interview process was totally bizarre.

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.   

I agree!

I would also wonder if the current boss will offer more money and a fancy title, just so Moonhawk will stay and train the new person, but then pull another fast one on her once the new person is up to speed. 

I don't trust those people one bit!

[Carol in Cal.]

I think you have a good plan, and I would add two things.

1.  No matter what they offer you on Monday, negotiate for more.  THEY ARE EXPECTING THIS, AND WILL NOT OFFER YOU THE MOST THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO GIVE.

2.  Keep looking for another job in the meantime.  You can’t trust these people.  And under no circumstances agree to train the new hire. 

Edited August 29, 2022 by Carol in Cal.

[Catwoman]

2 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

I think you have a good plan, and I would add two things.

1.  No matter what they offer you on Monday, negotiate for me.  THEY ARE EXPECTING THIS, AND WILL NOT OFFER YOU THE MOST THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO GIVE.

2.  Keep looking for another job in the meantime.  You can’t trust these people.  And under no circumstances agree to train the new hire. 

Yes! This is such good advice! 

[Katy]

If it’s not everything you need, leave. You did not take this job to be a receptionist OR to be tricked and/or emotionally blackmailed to be a receptionist. 

[Catwoman]

51 minutes ago, Katy said:

If it’s not everything you need, leave. You did not take this job to be a receptionist OR to be tricked and/or emotionally blackmailed to be a receptionist. 

Yes, and if they promise that you will have a certain title or a raise "soon" or "in a few months," please don't trust them. I'm very worried that they are trying to string you along, just so you will train the new person who got the job you should have had!

[Garga]

I just got home from spending 6 hours helping a friend update her resume and write a cover letter. 

Why is she looking for a new job? Because they hired her to be their office manager because the old office manager was retiring in a couple of months. But it’s been over a year and the old office manager still hasn’t retired, so my friend has been working at, you guessed it, the front desk for the past year. 

What’s up with promising better jobs and sticking people at the front desk!? My friend is quietly looking for other work. 

For a split second I thought, “Wait! Is my friend Moonhawk??” She’s not, though. 😄

Edited August 29, 2022 by Garga

[Miss Tick]

You rock, @Moonhawk

[Katy]

Also, are you sure you want a reference from anyone who tricked you into working a job you didn't want?