To the friend who just left an anonymous comment on my blog

[cathmom]

I thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I only wish that you would have had the courage and decency to sign your comment. Since I don’t know who you are, and I know that a lot of people don’t look to see if comments have been responded to, I decided to reply publicly here on the board. I find it interesting that, instead of PMing me on WTM with your thoughts, or even leaving a visitor message on my wall, you went and commented on an unrelated post on my blog. I assume that was so that you could say what you wanted to say and still be anonymous.

Here is what you said:

You seriously need to stop having kids. If you need to get half your food from the state, it's time to cut the uterine cord, kwim? Jesus didn't intend for you to live off other people's hard-earned money while you pop out kids you can't afford to raise. I'm not entirely sure, but I don't believe there's a bible passage that reads "And that shalt live off the sweat of others' brows." Have some dignity!

 

I am not sure where you got the impression that we get half our food from the state. We do receive WIC, and yesterday when I posted that I receive WIC, I knew that I was opening myself up for potentially nasty comments. I was pleasantly surprised not to get any.

“Uterine cords†do not exist, so I am not sure what you are referring to there.

I also am not sure where you get the impression that we live off other people’s hard earned money. My dh currently works 7 days a week to support us, and here in our state we pay taxes on nearly everything. We certainly do not live off the state. While we have been eligible for food stamps for years, we only received them for a very short time when my dh was out of work.

Thank you for giving me your opinion on my family size. I am not sure where you got the impression that I intend to keep having children that, according to you, I cannot afford to raise.

While I do have seven children, I have two large gaps of five years or more between children and one set of twins. That hardly constitutes “popping out kids†IMO.

My family has been through an extremely rough couple of years and we are just beginning to get back on our feet. I appreciate it more when people encourage us rather than tear us down with anonymous comments.

I do have dignity – the dignity that each human person has because we were all made in the image of God. May I encourage you to display yours!

[3lilreds in NC]

Well. I for one think large families are wonderful. I cannot imagine why someone thought they should comment on your blog about something so silly. It's certainly no one's business but yours how many children you have!

 

:grouphug: Mean people suck. I still want a tshirt that says that. :D

[beansprouts]

*Cindy's jaw is on the floor*

 

:grouphug: Cathmom

[melissel]

Ugh. I'm sorry someone did that to you :grouphug:

[Danestress]

Uterine cord? Wic providing half a family's food? Babies just popping out?

 

I'm thinking the poster is a kid with too much time on his/her hands, but I am very sorry you had to read that kind of obnoxiousness on your blog.

[laughing lioness]

What an ugly note to leave on your blog. I hope that you have a great day, despite someone's immaturity!:grouphug:

[praisefor3]

I don't know you and don't know anything about you. But since I have recently been in a similar situation, I wanted to give you encouragement. I am an HR manager for a large retailer. We recently had a very sick employee who quit and now blames many of us for his demise. Yesterday I received a very ugly email from him which was very attacking. I had a hard time blowing it off and letting it go. Still working on it. This morning I watched a talk show that I haven't seen in years and they were talking about some not-so-nice emails they got. It reminded me that anyone is subject to receiving unwarranted and hateful remarks. Your challenge today will be to just keep doing the right thing. Don't let others who choose attacking methods to hurt you, change your heart, spirit or your continued focus on doing what is right for you and your family. You are not at their mercy. In fact, this is the time to show your kids that doing right sometimes means going forward in the midst of criticism. This poster showed her level of courage. Now show yours and focus on those beautiful kids and the impact you have on their lives.

[Elaine]

I thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I only wish that you would have had the courage and decency to sign your comment. Since I don’t know who you are, and I know that a lot of people don’t look to see if comments have been responded to, I decided to reply publicly here on the board. I find it interesting that, instead of PMing me on WTM with your thoughts, or even leaving a visitor message on my wall, you went and commented on an unrelated post on my blog. I assume that was so that you could say what you wanted to say and still be anonymous.

Here is what you said:

You seriously need to stop having kids. If you need to get half your food from the state, it's time to cut the uterine cord, kwim? Jesus didn't intend for you to live off other people's hard-earned money while you pop out kids you can't afford to raise. I'm not entirely sure, but I don't believe there's a bible passage that reads "And that shalt live off the sweat of others' brows." Have some dignity!

 

I am not sure where you got the impression that we get half our food from the state. We do receive WIC, and yesterday when I posted that I receive WIC, I knew that I was opening myself up for potentially nasty comments. I was pleasantly surprised not to get any.

“Uterine cords†do not exist, so I am not sure what you are referring to there.

I also am not sure where you get the impression that we live off other people’s hard earned money. My dh currently works 7 days a week to support us, and here in our state we pay taxes on nearly everything. We certainly do not live off the state. While we have been eligible for food stamps for years, we only received them for a very short time when my dh was out of work.

Thank you for giving me your opinion on my family size. I am not sure where you got the impression that I intend to keep having children that, according to you, I cannot afford to raise.

While I do have seven children, I have two large gaps of five years or more between children and one set of twins. That hardly constitutes “popping out kids†IMO.

My family has been through an extremely rough couple of years and we are just beginning to get back on our feet. I appreciate it more when people encourage us rather than tear us down with anonymous comments.

I do have dignity – the dignity that each human person has because we were all made in the image of God. May I encourage you to display yours!

 

 

:grouphug:Cathmom:grouphug:

 

People who leave comments like that are pathtic cowards. They are the worst kind of trolls because they could be anyone here. Just let it go. I'm sorry that you received the brunt of some unhappy morons ridiculous opinion. The majority of people here do not feel that way. It's a small minority of immature asses that have the loudest voices.

[Scarlett]

*Cindy's jaw is on the floor*

 

:grouphug: Cathmom

 

That was my reaction too! Wow. I wonder who people think they are.

 

That is why I love the new boards here and why I am glad the rep feature was eliminated...I really dislike anonymous comments. I think it encourages the cowards among us.

[bumbledeb]

:grouphug: The tone of the post on your blog sounds nothing like anything I've ever read on here. It comes across as being from someone very immature. I doubt it's from anyone you are used to conversing with on this message board.

Keep your chin up!

[Scarlett]

While I do have seven children, I have two large gaps of five years or more between children and one set of twins. That hardly constitutes “popping out kids†IMO.

My family has been through an extremely rough couple of years and we are just beginning to get back on our feet. I appreciate it more when people encourage us rather than tear us down with anonymous comments.

I do have dignity – the dignity that each human person has because we were all made in the image of God. May I encourage you to display yours!

 

I was going to pop over to your blog just now but see you don't have it in your signature....so does that mean who ever left that comment at one time asked you for your blog address? Wow.

[cathmom]

No, Scarlett, I just removed it. I had been considering removing it for about a week now, and because of this I decided to. But if you would like the address, I would be happy to PM it to you. I have, however, deleted that comment, so there is nothing to respond to.

[elegantlion]

:grouphug:Cathmom:grouphug:

 

People who leave comments like that are pathtic cowards. They are the worst kind of trolls because they could be anyone here. Just let it go. I'm sorry that you received the brunt of some unhappy morons ridiculous opinion. The majority of people here do not feel that way. It's a small minority of immature asses that have the loudest voices.

 

What she said. I'm sorry someone assumed it was their right to offer their judgmental opinion.

[LBC]

:grouphug:

I'm so sorry that you had to read such an unkind comment on your blog, and I wish that when people were mean, they would leave my friend Jesus out of it. He's kind, and I really don't think He likes it when people use His name to attempt to bring legitimacy to their unkind remarks.:mad:

 

Lori

[Retired]

I don't think the blog post was from a regular. The board is open for others to read. It sounds like a blog version of a troll (jerk). It sounded very immature.

[Hen]

Cathmom,

 

I am surprised too, that someone who hangs out here would leave such a comment.

 

I know it will be hard, but I hope you can forget it and move on. People like that reap there own kind of Karma...what goes around comes around.

 

hugs.

 

We went through a real tough time, money wise, years ago. It was a great lesson. Grace is God's gift, and it is lovely to pass it on.

[jonesloonybin]

:grouphug: Boy, I am sorry you have to deal with that kind of meanness.

 

Don't let them get you down.

 

Wish I could think of something more uplifting but since I am majorly sick and full of medicine my brain cannot come up with anything.

 

Looking forward to meeting you in March!!

 

(Fellow NC'er)

[1bassoon]

:grouphug: for you, dearie.

 

I read your blog the other day, and found it just precious and inspiring.

 

We had to rely on govt. health insurance last year when dh lost his job - it was a lifesaver.

 

May God bless you richly with His matchless grace!

[swellmomma]

holy cow! I am shocked that someone would stoop so low to post a nasty comment on your blog over something you posted here. What a coward to not take it to you in a pm like an adult, or better yet keep their judgements to themselves

[5knights3maidens]

All I can say is Wow!?? I just don't know why people do this. It boggles my mind. :confused:

[LisaKinVA]

I particulary take offense at the "popping kids out" comments.

 

As someone who wasn't in any way trying to get pregnant (but instead working in the opposite direction), I have a firm grasp of the concept that sometimes, despite ones best efforts, pregnancies may occur.

 

I have a friend who had 3 vasectomies, before giving up on that route.

 

I have another friend with a tubal oops!

 

And multiple friends with other forms of BC oops! to their names.

 

I'm not one prone to cry -- however, I've cried a LOT about the baby I'm expecting right now, and whenever people comment about the size of my family in a negative manner, I cry some more -- before becoming inidgnant and angry.

 

The person who posted that is indeed an immature, judgemental coward.

 

I'm sorry that happened -- but mean people exist everywhere, unfortunately.

Edited December 9, 2008 by LisaK in VA
word choice

[Laura K (NC)]

It's sad. Not so much even for the anonymous poster, who is a product of this society, but society as a whole can get away with saying that babies are a burden, old people are a burden, and wouldn't it be nice if we could just all party and play as long as we can without having to be responsible to the natural law and other human beings. And then, when our party years are over and we're old and lonely, give us drugs to mask the pain, and euthanize us like dogs when we've had our fill. This is a society, suckled by the media, that too often doesn't show any more maturity than a 3 year old: people are either a pain or invisible unless they entertain us. The notion of having as many children as you have, and the work and love that entails, is alien to most. When people looked at me in the grocery store and said, 9 times out of 10, "Boy, you sure have your hands full" and I only had three kids, it's no surprise, though it's still sad, that >3 kids is just inconceivable.

[dragons in the flower bed]

[/size][/font]

Here is what you said:

You seriously need to stop having kids. If you need to get half your food from the state, it's time to cut the uterine cord, kwim? Jesus didn't intend for you to live off other people's hard-earned money while you pop out kids you can't afford to raise. I'm not entirely sure, but I don't believe there's a bible passage that reads "And that shalt live off the sweat of others' brows." Have some dignity!

 

:eek: How hurtful, cathmom. I'm sorry you had to deal with such a comment. I hope it wasn't anyone on this board. That last sentence is so ironic. This commenter was awfully disrespectful of your dignity, treating your reproductive values and financial state as up for debate in a public forum! :blink:

[Frontier Mom]

My motto is, "Opinions are like bellybuttons, everyone has one." Don't sweat the small stuff.

[Renee in NC]

My motto is, "Opinions are like bellybuttons, everyone has one." Don't sweat the small stuff.

 

I know a different version of that same thought!:lol:

[Dayle in Guatemala]

Bravo!!!! What a classy reply.

 

As a former WIC recipient myself, I say that it is not living off the state to receive it. It's actually paid for by our taxes and if it helps get us through a few years with milk, cheese, and cereal, so be it. It hardly constitutes half of the food needed for a family.

 

Anyway, blessings to you and yours this Christmas season.

[BMW]

Many :grouphug: to you, dear mommy! It's a difficult road to walk, having 7 kiddos... I know... I have 9. At times, I've needed help. And, I put out a post here, sharing what help I received and what it meant to me and mine and how we got back on our feet and everyone was gracious. Life hits all kinds of families hard at times. Keep you chin up and do what you can to be the best you can be for your family... it's just sad that people are so ugly inside.

[beansprouts]

:grouphug:

I'm so sorry that you had to read such an unkind comment on your blog, and I wish that when people were mean, they would leave my friend Jesus out of it. He's kind, and I really don't think He likes it when people use His name to attempt to bring legitimacy to their unkind remarks.:mad:

 

Lori

 

:iagree: Taking the Lord's name in vain has more to do with ambassadorship than vocabulary.

[laurad1125]

Well said!:grouphug:

[Karenciavo]

My family has been through an extremely rough couple of years and we are just beginning to get back on our feet. I appreciate it more when people encourage us rather than tear us down with anonymous comments.

 

I do have dignity – the dignity that each human person has because we were all made in the image of God. May I encourage you to display yours!

 

 

{{Cathmom}}

 

Obviously this was posted by someone who has no idea what they are talking about.

[Crissy]

((Cathmom))

 

That is just shameful.

 

It is unfortunate that the commenter didn't have the courage to contact you and open a civil discussion on the topic, instead leaving a disrespectful, uninformed, anonymous message.

 

I do hope you'll not take the coward's words to heart.

[Blessedfamily]

Cathmom.

 

There are always lots of unregistered guests viewing this board at any time. It could be any stranger. That is disgusting and I'm sorry it happened to you.:grouphug: I am speechless.

[Blessedfamily]

:grouphug:

I'm so sorry that you had to read such an unkind comment on your blog, and I wish that when people were mean, they would leave my friend Jesus out of it. He's kind, and I really don't think He likes it when people use His name to attempt to bring legitimacy to their unkind remarks.:mad:

 

Lori

 

Yes. Jesus has spoken for himself. I don't see why people feel the need to edit and add in their own nastiness. This is too embarrassing and has saddened me.

[OH_Homeschooler]

Cathmom.

 

There are always lots of unregistered guests viewing this board at any time. It could be any stranger. That is disgusting and I'm sorry it happened to you.:grouphug: I am speechless.

 

:iagree: I would guess it's just a lurker here, which is probably why they didn't pm you (I don't think you can pm without an account). But hopefully they're lurking today and will read this message!:grouphug:

[Michelle in MO]

I'm so sorry someone left such a nasty comment. I think large families are great---so far I haven't met one that I haven't thought was wonderful!

 

I hope the hugs and affirmation you get on these boards will help remove the sting from that nasty comment. I can't believe anyone would say that about you.

 

Many :grouphug: from us here. God bless you and your great family!

 

ETA: When our youngest daughter was born, my dh had just started his own business, and we had very little income coming in. I was breastfeeding her, and it was the same year that my brother had a near-fatal car accident. The stress level was incredibly high, and I was losing my milk and was virtually unable to nurse (she was not quite 5 months old at the time). Some good friends found formula in cans for me at a yard sale, which were being sold by a gal who had been on WIC. I was able to buy enough formula to last for the rest of the year, at a fraction of the cost which I would have paid in the grocery stores! I feel like this government program stretched a long way in our case---both for the woman who was originally on WIC, and for myself, as I could not have afforded formula at the time.

 

You are a wonderful addition to these boards. I hope that you will feel hugs and appreciation from us here, despite this nasty comment.

Edited December 9, 2008 by Michelle in MO
additional thoughts

[specialmama]

WOW. Some people need help! Sounds like they are dealing with their own messed up whatever and had to stomp on you in order to feel better about themselves. Totally rude, uncalled for and just plain vicious. I'm sorry that it happened. Hopefully they'll feel remorse over their words!

[Murphy101]

well like you said, you knew you were potentially opening a can of hatefullness and I hesitated to respond to it for the same reason.:grouphug:

 

people like that are ignorants.

 

ignorant of the fact that the vast majority of folks getting any form of assistance are working poor.

 

ignorant of the fact that most who receive assistance are CHILDREN, disabled and elderly. (WIC for example is to provide supplimental nutritional food to the unborn and children under 6 yr old.)

 

I have no idea why WIC or FS is viewed so harshly. It's hard to qualify for it, harder to keep it, and it's SUPPLIMENTAL, there's no way you can live off it.

 

But student grants are okay (free gov't money college students), small business grants, and many other "freebies" that the gov't offers to various citizens in various situations are perfectly fine for someone to avail themselves of. In fact, most would consider them foolish for NOT taking advantage of those things.

 

So it's okay to get assistance for those things, but we're going to beat down a parent for getting assistance to help with the grocery bill for their child(ren)?

 

What a sad statement that reflects about our society's attitude towards children in general.

 

I'm not surprised by it. Honestly, I was really impressed that there wasn't at least one such comment here.

 

:grouphug:

[beansprouts]

Yes. Jesus has spoken for himself.

 

Yes He did, didn't He? I believe it was something like "The kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these..." ;)

[Harriet Vane]

I'm sorry. It was wrong for that person to say such ugly things. They do not know you. Being mean is never acceptable.

[lionfamily1999]

Stunning and disturbing. What a turd.

[camibami]

What a moron!

 

At the risk of being quite uncharitible, I'd say the world needs a lot more of your children than the ones who turn like said blog posting coward.

 

:grouphug:

[sleepy]

Ugh. How very unkind. :(

 

What ever happened to: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?

 

Sorry you had to be on the receiving end of that, cathmom. :grouphug:

[gardening momma]

I know you said you've deleted the comment already, but is there any way to trace comments to your blog? I don't have a blog, so I have no idea. I think I recall someone else here at WTM who has a blog that requires registration to be allowed to post a comment. I don't remember who that is, or what website they have their blog on. Is that something you can set up on your blog?

[FO4UR]

What a moron!

 

At the risk of being quite uncharitible, I'd say the world needs a lot more of your children than the ones who turn like said blog posting coward.

 

:grouphug:

 

:iagree:

 

Ughh....angry with ya'!:grouphug:

[newbie]

At least we know who's getting coal this year. What a grinch.

[Tracey in TX]

:grouphug:(((Cathmom))):grouphug:

 

We have public assistance to help our neighbors out during the tough times. We all have challenging times and each of us should support and encourage each other, not denegrate and demean. As for having children, you sound like you're family is blessed with each other. Maybe there's an ugly green monster rearing its head with the aforementioned poster. Envy mixed with immaturity makes a caustic combination.

 

Don't let the mystery commenter get you down. You have lots of friends here rooting you on...Have a great day and spend it with your abundantly blessed family.:001_smile:

[coffeefreak]

We have a rule in our house we borrowed from the makers of Konos:

 

If it's not Kind, Necessary or the Truth, it doesn't need to be said.

 

Also, as a former journalist student, I can tell you first hand, anonymous sources have NO credibility. This is tantamount to cyber bullying. I'm so sorry someone did this to you.

 

Blessings!

:grouphug:

[hillfarm]

Family size is such an emotionally charged issue. By factoring in such issues as religious beliefs, health, culture, government policies, and economics, it all becomes so difficult to sort out. I am on the other end of the spectrum. I have only one child. None of the other homeschooling families in my area have such a small family size. I often feel very different.

 

The fact is that by providing information about ourselves online, we all open ourselves up to criticism--valid or otherwise. Of course, rudeness is never acceptable, but unfortunately we live in a fallen world and it is not uncommon.

 

Regardless of the OP's situation, I do feel that there will be much more bashing of anyone who is perceived to be "taking handouts" from the government. IMO, this is a backlash from the bailouts and abuses that have been forced upon us. A person may well be furious at the big banks getting a free pass for their atrocious behavior, and the auto industry next in line with their heavily jeweled hands out also. You happen to be someone upon whom they can vent their frustration. The rights, wrongs, and truth of the situation matter little.

 

I would suggest that unless you are wearing a flameproof union suit, not posting much about availing yourself of outside assistance until these feeling have a chance to work themselves out of the societal consciousness. I know I get my feelings hurt easily and I can only imagine how unkind fear and frustration will drive people to become.

[Tammy]

why you are bringing your blog comments over here. Certainly you don't think who posted it will fess up....do ya?

 

I would have just deleted it from your blog....and forgot about it.

 

There are plenty of rude people in the world....and if I were you....I wouldn't give it a second thought!

 

.

[Stacey in MA]

I don't mind when people speak their minds when it is NECESSARY (this wasn't), or up for discussion (this wasn't), and not anonymously (this wasn't)! We all must be accountable for what we say, or else it is just useless uncredible mush. Anyway, you didn't invite a discussion on those subjects. Good for you for posting your reply here to make sure you call that person out, and get some support from people who are willing to speak in your defense with their NAMES SIGNED!! Jeez.....

 

Well done, to you! - Stacey in MA