Family Vacations....are they a vacation for you?

[Ottakee]

In August we are planning a family vacation.....my brother and his wife and 3 kids (11,13,15), my mom in a power wheelchair, me my son , daughter, her friend, other daughter and her husband (all 5 have cognitive impairments).

Covid stuff aside, this is a trip.  This is NOT a vacation. I will be doing the driving and planning and organizing for me and 5 special needs young adults.  

Another friend of mine who has 11 kids, 7 still at home including one early 20s with special needs was just saying that we need a few days on the beach away from everyone else.  A time where we didn't have to be responsible for everyone and everything and make decisions based on keeping everyone else happy.

That sounds selfish when you write it down but we just get tired.

Anyone else needs a vacation after their vacation?

[PeterPan]

That does not sound like a vacation at all! LOL That's a ton of work. It will be fun, but to rest, you need some time for you, doing your thing, definitely. It's why I got so keen on cruising. Haven't you done little trips in the past where you hit a hotel and just sit at the pool? I thought you had mentioned that. You definitely need time for you. 

You could see if any state park lodges within a reasonable distance are an option for you. This might not be too too far of a drive for you. It's at least the right idea. They run some deals at times of the year, and their buffet, hot tubs, outdoor firepit, bike trails, access to a beach, etc. are very nice.

https://www.thelodgeatgeneva.com

[Ottakee]

6 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

That does not sound like a vacation at all! LOL That's a ton of work. It will be fun, but to rest, you need some time for you, doing your thing, definitely. It's why I got so keen on cruising. Haven't you done little trips in the past where you hit a hotel and just sit at the pool? I thought you had mentioned that. You definitely need time for you. 

You could see if any state park lodges within a reasonable distance are an option for you. This might not be too too far of a drive for you. It's at least the right idea. They run some deals at times of the year, and their buffet, hot tubs, outdoor firepit, bike trails, access to a beach, etc. are very nice.

https://www.thelodgeatgeneva.com

I live 10 minutes from a top freshwater beach in a  tourist town.  I do go down there once or twice a week but obviously not as a get away.

Two years ago I went with a friend to Clearwater FL area for a long weekend....that turned out to be record cold with highs in the 40s.  That was fun though.  I do feel guilty going there alone though (pre covid concerns) as my girls have 2 bio sisters and 2 bio brothers that live in that area....so it seems wrong for me to vacation there and not take them.....but taking them means visits with one sister, her husband and 2 toddlers or me driving and watching the other sister and two brothers too....as those 3 all have special needs as well.

I do hope to get to a friend's cottage on an inland lake for an overnight next month.

 

[Denise in IN]

Family vacations are not necessarily relaxing for me, and all my kids are teens and pretty self-sufficient!  But they are enjoyable in many ways - I love to see new places and enjoy the time with my family.  So they're good, and a break from the normal routine, but can be quite tiring!  

I don't think it's selfish to recognize that a truly relaxing time for you would be getting away without any responsibilities.  And it's wise to recognize what kind of expectations are reasonable for your family trip.

[Junie]

Yes.  I actually don't need a vacation after a vacation, though, because we never take them.  I know that I will probably regret not taking my kids on vacation but they are just so.much.work.  We go to visit grandparents.

 

[Arcadia]

You are being a tour guide and tour bus driver. Of course you would feel drained.

 

Extended family vacations are never a vacation for me since MIL and BIL’s wife gets offended easily but would be sarcastic in a flowery manner about it. Extended family vacation with my parents and brother has been like real vacations. Haven’t had an extended family vacation with my parents, brother, his wife and child since he got married, as in haven’t had a chance. His wife is easy going and blunt and their child is even more so. I don’t think it would be difficult to have a good time with them.  

 

However none of us are special needs, other than my mom needs a wheelchair. My husband was thankful that we paid for a grayhound tour to Grand Canyon departing from Las Vegas. It was more than a four hours drive there and another four to five hours drive back including a toilet stop. He would have been to exhausted to enjoy Grand Canyon if he was driving. He did slept all the way there on the bus and all the way home. My parents sponsored the trip and was happy he could sleep on the bus instead of driving the seven of us. 

[KungFuPanda]

If you don't recharge your batteries it will be hard to care for everyone else.  It's OK to teach your children that Mom is a person who also deserves to have her needs met and occasionally do something fun for herself.  WHY model that mom deserves NOTHING?  GO to the beach with your friends.  Think of it as a training exercise for your family.  They NEED to be able to cope if you're out of commission for any reason and it's unfair to leave them completely unprepared.

[bolt.]

I do a lot of work both for and during family vacations, but I do make a point of prioritizing myself and my preferences (and my desire for rest) proportionally to the things I'm including on behalf of others. I don't feel a bit guilty for it. I consider it valuable way of modeling that fair treatment for each family member is normal. I refuse to model the mother-as-second-class version of a family -- either in appearances or in reality.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I can remember telling  a friend that vacationing with small children was not a vacation, just the same work as at home but in a less adapted space, aka more work.  The only vacation I get is when my mom comes here or we go there, as she is capable of swooping in and basically taking over everything.  😂  Now that my kids are getting older, (and probably me getting stronger in my vacation muscles, lol), I can enjoy being out and about with the kids away from our routine areas.  But relaxation never enters the picture when the kids are with me.  

It sounds like you are arranging and facilitating an awesome vacation for your kids and their friends and your mom.  What an amazing gift.  And you'll deserve your own weekend away when it's over!!!

[Kassia]

Family vacations used to be a lot of work for me until we started going to all inclusive resorts a few years ago.  Now I can relax and have a vacation and everyone else can, too.  They are expensive, but worth every penny if you can afford it.  

Edited June 28, 2020 by Kassia

[Carrie12345]

We don’t vacation a lot because it wasn’t in the budget for a long time, but we have done a few “family vacations” here and there. For me, they wind up kind of split, as far as being exhausting and being a break.

For one thing, I am my mother’s daughter when it comes to obsessive list making and planning. It makes for a lot of high strung prep work, but eases implementation. WHen the kids were little, I probably still did at least half of the child care on vacation, but dh would do a big chunk and my family would do some. And I would help with cooking and cleaning, BUT my mom would really take on the bulk of that, and stuff me with extra snacks and drinks throughout the day.  So, no, I’ve never been able to kick back and chill all vacation, but I have been able to relax 

We haven’t traveled with significant special needs, though.  One trip did have an enormous ASD meltdown that I won’t soon forget, and one trip was 12 hours in a car with a 3 month old colicky baby (and 16 month old cranky pants),  Those were our biggest challenges.

[Pawz4me]

I always find traveling anywhere stressful. I've never understood why anyone under any circumstance would or could find traveling relaxing. Just being in a strange place, having to sleep in a strange bed, be off schedule is incredibly stressful to me. If I want to relax I want to do it at home, where I'm super comfy! And obviously what one calls "vacation" matters. A trip to the beach or a mountain cabin then I guess at least some time for mom and dad to relax could reasonably be expected. Most of our traveling, especially when the boys were younger, was more along the "see the country and learn some stuff" and was fairly fast paced, so resting/relaxing wasn't an expectation.

I think I'd be perfectly happy if I never had to spend another night away from home. I'd go on day trips when I needed a change (we live in a great area for that--beaches and mountains are possible in a day trip), or I'd declare a few days or a week here and there "vacation" and eat out a lot (or get takeout), read or do whatever I wanted, and let most of the regular chores go.

Edited June 28, 2020 by Pawz4me

[Wheres Toto]

8 hours ago, Denise in IN said:

Family vacations are not necessarily relaxing for me, and all my kids are teens and pretty self-sufficient!  But they are enjoyable in many ways - I love to see new places and enjoy the time with my family.  So they're good, and a break from the normal routine, but can be quite tiring!  

I don't think it's selfish to recognize that a truly relaxing time for you would be getting away without any responsibilities.  And it's wise to recognize what kind of expectations are reasonable for your family trip.

Definitely this!    When we take family vacations it's to share an experience.  It's often exhausting trying to figure out food for everyone, activities, more running around then usual, in a strange place, but still enjoyable.   When we go camping, coming home means tons of laundry and putting things away and washing things, which comes after sleeping on a blow up mattress in a tent and spending a week or more without air conditioning.  And that doesn't count the time our tent collapsed in the middle of the night in a thunderstorm.  

Dh periodically takes the kids away to give me a break at home.   I also take a trip alone once or twice a year, usually to an area with an amazing used bookstore.   Both of those are way more relaxing for me than the family vacations.

[Ottakee]

I do get some quiet alone to me, just not often or in stretches of more than an hour or 2.

We do have fun on our family trips and build memories.  That is why I do them.  

Finding someone to care for my 2 young adults at home while I am gone for an overnight or 2 can be a challenge.   Like I mentioned aboc, I do have hopes to get away for 1-2 nights to my friends cottage without the kids.

Last time though I had an overnight with no kids I sat in a parking lot trying to decide what to get for lunch.  I could have/go anywhere.....and I could NOT decide.  Usually decisions are based on finances or what the kids want/will eat, etc .   Seriously, I sat there over 30 minutes trying to decide what *I* wanted.

[Gobblygook]

Not really. I enjoy visiting new places but it’s a lot of work. We have four kids and the youngest is severely developmentally-delayed and medically complex. Having to anticipate any possible medical issue and pack everything I might possibly need for him is a big job. I don’t get a break from his medical and behavioral needs while on vacation. In fact, his behavior becomes more challenging when he’s not in his normal routine. This is why the last few weekends, I’ve been home with him while DH takes the other kids to the lake. 

[Ottakee]

6 minutes ago, Gobblygook said:

Not really. I enjoy visiting new places but it’s a lot of work. We have four kids and the youngest is severely developmentally-delayed and medically complex. Having to anticipate any possible medical issue and pack everything I might possibly need for him is a big job. I don’t get a break from his medical and behavioral needs while on vacation. In fact, his behavior becomes more challenging when he’s not in his normal routine. This is why the last few weekends, I’ve been home with him while DH takes the other kids to the lake. 

I don't have the level of needs you have.....I work with SXI students so understand.  That is really hard.  Could you get respite for him for a few days so you can join the others?  If I was close by, I would do it.  In our area a lot of the special needs school staff does respite for the kids and their families as they know the kids, their needs, etc.

Mine are all ambulatory and verbal but have mild to moderate cognitive impairments and all have some emotional/behavior issues that may or may not show up on vacation.

It is tiring enough to think of sorting meds, extra meds for crisis, nebulizer and supplies, planning food and activities for emotional stability, etc.  I know you have way more to pack, bring, remember.

[Joker]

I love vacations! I enjoy the planning and we all love road trips so the driving is even enjoyable. We’ve taken road trips since both dc were super young. We’ve even driven coast to coast which was rough but also really fun. We are not ones who like to sit by the pool or take cruises so our trips are exhausting but we enjoy that. We all usually veg out in front of the TV the entire first day back at home but that’s part of the fun as well since we usually plan what show we’re going to binge watch. 

I don’t think it’s at all selfish for you to need a vacation from your trips. It’s important to take care of yourself so you can take care of those who need you. 

[marbel]

Family trips are a mixed bag for me. Visiting extended family is never a vacation. My own sister exhausts me. Staying at my in-laws is more work than staying home. (Constant food prep and dishwashing plus angst over meals with people with difficult and judgmental food attitudes.)

When my kids were younger, family trips often meant tagging along with dad on a business trip, staying in a nice hotel and sightseeing while he worked. Those were relaxing fun trips.  The ones that I planned and executed separate from those were not so fun and relaxing, particularly as the kids got older and their interests diverged: the museum-lover vs the cute-shop-lover. Add to that a husband who was tired and wanted to stay in the hotel room and read for a couple of hours a day... so I had to be the entertainment director and keep everyone happy. 

Later, when my kids were teens, we discovered the lodgings some of our state parks offer - "modern cabins" with all furniture and appliances, but you still have to bring all your stuff as if camping (bedding, everything needed for cooking, etc)  So the lead-up and aftermath of the trips was taxing, but the trip itself was wonderful. 

Quote

That sounds selfish when you write it down but we just get tired.

No. Not selfish at all. I'm not sure how, but it seems moms get conditioned to believe they are selfish if they want the littlest thing for themselves. You are  not asking too much for yourself.

Edited June 28, 2020 by marbel

[sassenach]

That’s not selfish at all! You should definitely do that. 
 

Now that my kids are self sufficient, it’s really just my special needs ds whose needs cannot be escaped, but I can kind of go on autopilot mode with him. My biggest vacation annoyance is having to cook so I have come up with dinners that require little of me (but I am still the one that does the shopping and that’s a bummer). 
 

I get away once a year with friends. It’s just one night but it’s heavenly. 

[Garga]

Last year, my dad had cancer. At the end of his treatments, I decided to go out and see him.  (My parents live 2500 miles away.). It wasn’t going to be a “vacation”, so I went alone. It was just to get eyes on him and comfort them with my presence as I’m their only child. My parents had been very stressed through the whole thing (very), but they didn’t want me there during the worst of the treatments (he was in a lot of pain and had ugly medical-type things going on that he didn’t want someone seeing.)  But at the same time, they did want to see me because the cancer was emotionally brutal to them. So, I went just for us to put eyes on each other. 

It turned out to be the most relaxing 7 days that I can remember.  Certainly the most relaxing 7 days in 17 years (age of my oldest.). 

We didn’t go anywhere or really do anything.  We just hung around chit-chatting and going to Walmart to buy ingredients for dinner.  We went to a few thrift stores to bargain hunt.  

The biggest thing is that my parents don’t have ADHD, the way my ds and dh do.  I didn’t have to think for anyone that week; just myself. It was amazing. At first, I tried to think for everyone. If my parents said, “We’re going to have to head to Walmart at 4:00 today,” I’d automatically say, “Ok, then. I’ll set an alarm for 3:45 so we all know when it’s time to head out.”  When I’d say that, my parents would just look at me funny.  And when 3:45 would roll around, I’d say, “Ok, we have 15 minutes.  We’d better get our stuff ready by the door.”. And they’d just stare at me funny.  

I never knew just how much I’m constantly scaffolding and thinking ahead and planning for the other members of my family until then.  About 3 days into the trip, I stopped setting alarms (I don’t need them for myself), and my parents were already ready to do whatever needed to be done on time, without me having to tell them!  Ahh, freedom!

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to take another trip to see them all by myself, especially with Covid and my dad is now in a high risk category, but those were probably the most relaxing 7 days of my life.  

So even though the boys are older now and vacations aren’t quite as much work as when the kids were little (taking 5 year olds to the beach is Hard Work!), I don’t think they’ll ever be truly relaxing unless I can vacation with people whom I don’t have to think for at all. There might be a few friends I could vacation with.  Going on a weekend jaunt with a couple of girl friends to the beach would probably be lovely. But I’d want my own room and time to just do whatever I want without having to schedule every moment with everyone else.

Edited June 28, 2020 by Garga

[MEmama]

DS has always been an awesome traveller, so yes, they are relaxing for me. We took long (14 hour) road trips with him at a year or two old; at 4 he helped plan a long weekend in NYC. He picked out stacks of books at the library, researched all the places he wanted to go (Natural history museum, Central Park, the main train station etc), pored over maps...then we did them all with him leading the way. So much fun. 

From that trip on, he had his own little suitcase and was responsible for his own stuff. I think I don’t prepare the same way many other moms do; it’s up to him what to take (obviously within reason, but he’s a natural minimalist traveller too, so not an issue), he helps DH and I plan, we all have our roles and responsibilities. We are fortunate that we all like the same things; I can’t think of a single time that one of us wasn’t happy to go along with someone else’s interest. 
 

The planning, preparing and packing are fun for me and we travel quite a lot, so it’s also pretty routine. I love making lists; figuring out how to travel even lighter is kind of a weird obsession. Lol.

[katilac]

 This is why we loved going to Disney World and staying onsite: no cooking, no cleaning, no driving! Easy to keep an eye on the kids, and we were certainly less worried about them getting lost there as opposed to in the city, wilderness, or beach. 

Even for the beach, I was usually with family, and my kids are the youngest grandkids by far. We always got some decent breaks. 

There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking your own vacay! 

[KrissiK]

I used to hate them until we started going to family camp. Now, family camp is definitely not for everyone, but it suits our family great. It is all inclusive, activities for everyone (even if you just want to sit in the shade on the deck of your cabin and read a book all afternoon), tasty meals in the dining hall... it is great. And all I have to do is write a check, pack my bags and we are good to go. Of course, this year because of COVID it is all cancelled, but we have our reservations for next summer.

[Hannah]

What you're describing sounds like hard work!  As you say, a trip, but not a vacation.

Last year I requested a family weekend away for my birthday - one for which I had to make NO decisions  or organise anything - not about budget, where we were going, how to book, what we would eat, or anything else.  I packed my bag, got in the car and went along for the ride.  It was fantastic!

Edited June 28, 2020 by Hannah

[fairfarmhand]

I think the best vacation would be if my dh would take the kids someplace and I’d get to be home by myself! 
 

tangent—my dh hates being home by himself. Hates it. He can’t understand how much I love being in my house without anyone else there. It happens for me like twice a year and it’s heavenly. 

[Kassia]

9 minutes ago, KrissiK said:

I used to hate them until we started going to family camp. Now, family camp is definitely not for everyone, but it suits our family great. It is all inclusive, activities for everyone (even if you just want to sit in the shade on the deck of your cabin and read a book all afternoon), tasty meals in the dining hall... it is great. And all I have to do is write a check, pack my bags and we are good to go. Of course, this year because of COVID it is all cancelled, but we have our reservations for next summer.

 

Can you provide a link or more info?  I'm very interested!  We started doing all-inclusive vacations six years ago and I've never heard of family camp.  I don't want to vacation any other way anymore other than all-inclusive.  It removes so much stress.

[Ottakee]

I didn’t have to think for anyone that week; just myself. It was amazing---Garga as posted above   (sorry, I couldn't get the quote to work on my phone)

THIS, THIS IS IT.  The having to think for everyone else is what is so incredibly tiring.

Edited June 28, 2020 by Ottakee

[KrissiK]

2 hours ago, Kassia said:

 

Can you provide a link or more info?  I'm very interested!  We started doing all-inclusive vacations six years ago and I've never heard of family camp.  I don't want to vacation any other way anymore other than all-inclusive.  It removes so much stress.

This is the one we go to. It is a Christian Camp in the Santa Cruz mountains in California.  But, I’m sure if you Googled you will find others.

https://www.mounthermon.org

[KrissiK]

Just now, CuriousMomof3 said:

Do you have a family camp that has comfortable beds?

We've done family camp at a YMCA overnight camp near us.  And it was lots of fun, and nice to have all food provided, and all the activities.  

But we slept in the same bunks that the campers slept, or in tents that we brought.  My idea of a vacation that is not a trip includes mattresses that are not inflatable or covered in plastic, sheets, and indoor plumbing.  

Mt.  Hermon has a variety of accommodations. The last two years we stayed in cabins that are Like houses. They have regular beds and several bathrooms and even a kitchen, though we always ate in the dining hall. It was nice to have a fridge for drinks and snacks. It is definitely not camping.

[Ottakee]

6 hours ago, Medicmom2.0 said:

No.

DH is sending me on a respite retreat in September through A Mother’s Rest, which provides discounted respite retreats at Bed and Breakfasts for moms of special needs kids.

That might be a vacation. Nothing with my kids is restful at all.

We used to have something similar.  There were 8 families that adopted special needs kids (mostly behavioral but many had other issues as well) and once a year there were funds to send the moms on a weekend retreat....Friday night until Sunday afternoon.  On Saturday night the dads would come and there would be a catered supper.  NO COOKING.  NO KIDS.  NOTHING we had to do.  We had a nice house with a large outdoor hot tub one year with walking trails through the vineyards, a yoga instructor that came, etc.  Another year was another place down near the water in a tiny resort town and we all got free massages, had a hot tub, dinner, etc.  Those were the days.

[Ottakee]

5 hours ago, MEmama said:

DS has always been an awesome traveler, so yes, they are relaxing for me.

From that trip on, he had his own little suitcase and was responsible for his own stuff. I think I don’t prepare the same way many other moms do; it’s up to him what to take (obviously within reason, but he’s a natural minimalist traveler too, so not an issue),

The issue with special needs kiddos is that forgetting something could mean hours on the phone trying to arrange for it at a new place, turning around to drive hours back home, etc.  Things like nebulizers, seizure meds, (ok, like 17 different meds), etc.   I am not worried so much about clothes, shoes, etc. as almost everywhere has a Walmart for emergencies.  Trying to get meds though out of state, get insurance to pay for extras, etc. can be a nightmare.

[Pam in CT]

re family camps inc. with regular beds...

3 hours ago, Kassia said:

 

Can you provide a link or more info?  I'm very interested!  We started doing all-inclusive vacations six years ago and I've never heard of family camp.  I don't want to vacation any other way anymore other than all-inclusive.  It removes so much stress.

 

21 minutes ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

Do you have a family camp that has comfortable beds?

We've done family camp at a YMCA overnight camp near us.  And it was lots of fun, and nice to have all food provided, and all the activities.  

But we slept in the same bunks that the campers slept, or in tents that we brought.  My idea of a vacation that is not a trip includes mattresses that are not inflatable or covered in plastic, sheets, and indoor plumbing.  

 

When my kids were of age, we went every summer to Family Nature Camp run by the College of the Atlantic (Bar Harbon/ME, with most of the programs out of Acadia National Park). You sleep in the dorms (2 regular single beds to a double room; or 2 sets of bunk beds in a 4-person room; real mattresses all).

We've also done both summer and winter family programs at various facilities in NH, Maine, and the Delaware Water Gap run by the Appalachian Mountain Club. The Highland Center (central NH) is actually quite posh; other facilities range from pack-in/pack-out huts up on the summits of the NH portions of the Appalachian trail, to lakeside cabins more akin to state park facilities.  In all cases, very well run programs.

I've long longed to do the YMCA in the Rockies (Estes Park/CO) -- I've had several sets of friends recommend it highly.  Not yet, not until we're on the other side of COVID, sigh.

[Ottakee]

7 hours ago, Garga said:

 

The biggest thing is that my parents don’t have ADHD, the way my ds and dh do.  I didn’t have to think for anyone that week; just myself. It was amazing.

I never knew just how much I’m constantly scaffolding and thinking ahead and planning for the other members of my family until then.  About 3 days into the trip, I stopped setting alarms (I don’t need them for myself), and my parents were already ready to do whatever needed to be done on time, without me having to tell them!  Ahh, freedom!

II don’t think they’ll ever be truly relaxing unless I can vacation with people whom I don’t have to think for at all. There might be a few friends I could vacation with.  Going on a weekend jaunt with a couple of girl friends to the beach would probably be lovely. But I’d want my own room and time to just do whatever I want without having to schedule every moment with everyone else.

Trying this on my computer so I can quote you better.  You hit the nail on the head here.  It is that I have to THINK for myself and then FIVE other young adults.  Did you take your meds?  Did you charge your phone?  Do you know where your wallet is?  Hang up your swimsuit so it can dry.   We are leaving for the ferry at 9am so you need to be up at 7:30 for the ferry.....making sure all 5 have alarms set....as yes, some will sleep through them.

I love the idea of vacationing on the beach with a friend or two....but like you, I love the idea of total freedom as well.  I do have a few low maintenance friends that this would work with.....the issue is the cost of each having our own room, etc.   Last time I went to Florida with a friend (ok, the ONLY time I vacationed with a friend), we had a small suite with a bedroom with 2 beds but then we had a small living area and kitchen so that made it easier to spread out, etc.   I did have to do all of the driving as I rented the rental car.....I would also like to NOT have to drive or navigate too much, etc.   Basically, I don't want to have to do all of the thinking and planning. 

[TABmom]

My dh and I recently went on a cruise. I realized I had never been on a vacation before- it had only been trips. So, yeah, I'm of the opinion that if you are traveling with kids it's not a vacation. With the possible exception of cruises and all-inclusives. 

[Ottakee]

I had thought of cruising with my kids but the issue is their Interests/maturity levels are 10-14ish but since they are all over 18 they could not participate in any of the preteen/teen clubs (which is a good policy) but I don't know if they would enjoy the other stuff on the ship or get bored and bug me and want to spend money.

 

[MEmama]

1 hour ago, Ottakee said:

The issue with special needs kiddos is that forgetting something could mean hours on the phone trying to arrange for it at a new place, turning around to drive hours back home, etc.  Things like nebulizers, seizure meds, (ok, like 17 different meds), etc.   I am not worried so much about clothes, shoes, etc. as almost everywhere has a Walmart for emergencies.  Trying to get meds though out of state, get insurance to pay for extras, etc. can be a nightmare.

Oh, absolutely, I didn’t really read the other responses, just answering the question in the title. You have your hands beyond full for sure. 

[katilac]

46 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

I had thought of cruising with my kids but the issue is their Interests/maturity levels are 10-14ish but since they are all over 18 they could not participate in any of the preteen/teen clubs (which is a good policy) but I don't know if they would enjoy the other stuff on the ship or get bored and bug me and want to spend money.

 

There are so many specialty cruises that I figured there had to be one targeted to special needs adults, and I found Autism on the Seas. In spite of the name, they deal with all kinds of special needs, adults and kids. I know nothing about them, I just did a search, but it sounds interesting. 

Our Staff Assisted Cruises are selected from regular cruises throughout the year, and we assist adults and families in accommodating the typical cruise services, as well as providing specialized Respite and Private Activities/Sessions that allow our guests the use of the ships entertainment venues in an accommodated and assisted manner.  Our professional Staff (educated, experienced, background checked and sanctioned by the cruise lines) accompanies you on your cruise to provide these amazing vacation and travel experiences onboard Royal Caribbean, Celebrity, Norwegian, Disney and Carnival Cruise Lines.   Find out What's Included.

Lots more info on the site. 

[73349]

Nope.

 I think on Rants from Mommyland they call it "work in a scenic location."

Edited October 2, 2020 by Carolina Wren

[SereneHome]

On 6/28/2020 at 1:14 AM, Monica_in_Switzerland said:

I can remember telling  a friend that vacationing with small children was not a vacation, just the same work as at home but in a less adapted space, aka more work.  The only vacation I get is when my mom comes here or we go there, as she is capable of swooping in and basically taking over everything.  😂  Now that my kids are getting older, (and probably me getting stronger in my vacation muscles, lol), I can enjoy being out and about with the kids away from our routine areas.  But relaxation never enters the picture when the kids are with me.  

It sounds like you are arranging and facilitating an awesome vacation for your kids and their friends and your mom.  What an amazing gift.  And you'll deserve your own weekend away when it's over!!!

Did you get in my head and typed my response????

I was a girl who packed for 2 wk Europe trip half an hour before I was leaving for an airport.

Now I am a girl who plans for 2 wks to go on a 3 day trip that is 2 hrs away from her house.

But sitting here now, I've decided to be all mature and serene about it next time and not all controlly so I can just enjoy seeing my kids' enjoyment. Since we won't be going anywhere anytime soon, I have lots of time to mentally prepare myself

 

 

 

[Ottakee]

51 minutes ago, SereneHome said:

 

But sitting here now, I've decided to be all mature and serene about it next time and not all controlly so I can just enjoy seeing my kids' enjoyment. Since we won't be going anywhere anytime soon, I have lots of time to mentally prepare myself

 

 

 

The week before the covid shut down I took 2 of my kids up north.....supposed to be for a tribal meeting/powwow, etc but it was cancelled.  On the way up there I just felt like I needed to say YES to them.  They chose the activities, meals, adventures, etc.  It was a great trip..... made much easier by only having 2 kids whereas this family vacation will have 12-14.  I even wrote this blog post about it.

Edited June 30, 2020 by Ottakee

[SereneHome]

48 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

The week before the covid shut down I took 2 of my kids up north.....supposed to be for a tribal meeting/powwow, etc but it was cancelled.  On the way up there I just felt like I needed to say YES to them.  They chose the activities, meals, adventures, etc.  It was a great trip..... made much easier by only having 2 kids whereas this family vacation will have 12-14.  I even wrote this blog post about it.

Oh Ottakee, this was such a beautiful blog post. The love was just pouring out.

On a side note - when my oldest was born, we lived within walking distance from Costco. I was convinced that their hot dogs were helping me with my milk production.  I haven't had one since we moved 10 yrs ago. Brought back nice memories 🙂

[Pam in CT]

saying YES

1 hour ago, Ottakee said:

The week before the covid shut down I took 2 of my kids up north.....supposed to be for a tribal meeting/powwow, etc but it was cancelled.  On the way up there I just felt like I needed to say YES to them.  They chose the activities, meals, adventures, etc.  It was a great trip..... made much easier by only having 2 kids whereas this family vacation will have 12-14.  I even wrote this blog post about it.

That is beautiful, Ottakee. You are an amazing writer, and mother, and person.

[Ottakee]

Thanks for the encouragement on the blog.  If you want to read more, check out this link   I am not an eloquent writer and not always so upbeat.  I started the blog to help other women who were left behind by a sex offender.   It is a group you never want to be a part of.  That said, I have been richly blessed and moving on.  Feel free to share the blog link with any others that might find it helpful, or subscribe yourself.  It should be ad free and the only thing you would get is an email notification once a week when I post a new blog entry.  I also have it on FB  but FB has not been playing nice with it lately as it had it flagged as offensive......so they removed most of my posts.