Who would name their child Abcde? Good grief

[Bluegoat]

6 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

Ok, so please forgive me and help me.

I have only ever read the name Isolde, and not heard it pronounced.

 

I read it as EE-sold.  Rhymes with He Sold.  Is there some other way it should be pronounced?  

 

That is about right, I wouldn't argue with it.  Some people make more of a short i at the beginning which is also ok.  But the o has kind of a rounder sound than "sold".  The e at the end is almost a kind of not-sound, or an impression of a sound.  

The thing is that it's not really an English name, so it doesn't quite sound English.   I think whenever someone picks a name with the pronunciation of another language, you just have to expect that people may struggle with it or even use their native pronunciation.

[Scarlett]

1 hour ago, Æthelthryth the Fancy said:

I changed my screen name. 😄

 

I saw that but what does it mean....the new screen name?

[Terabith]

2 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

I'm brining back the Æthel names with style! How's this? 

How did you change your screen name?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Seeing as the first (known) Abcde was named in 1986 and was pronounced the same way as this woman and the 300 some other mothers who have named their daughters this name, logic will tell you that this woman was not making this up all on her own. 

[itsheresomewhere]

I grew up with a name that was not common and people had such a hard time with it. While my name has gotten more common, people still mess it up ( at least they no longer make fun of it).  When I had my kids, I gave them names that were more common.  Growing up I used to envy those who could buy something in a gift shop or have pencils with their name on it.    

The worker should have not made fun of this girl’s name.  I am betting she will get enough of it soon( not that she should).   I do wonder if she will change it when she gets older.  

Edited December 1, 2018 by itsheresomewhere

[historically accurate]

1 hour ago, Bluegoat said:

 

I think this seems to be a little wilfully not noticing the reasoning for the name though.

Sure, it's possible this mum just liked the way the name sounded, and we can't know for sure.  But it seems pretty likely that the idea was that the name is the first letters of the alphabet in order.  Which seems like a joke or novelty name, not just a variant or original spelling.  I think that novelty or joke names really are a bad idea, and unfair to the kid, in a way that I don't think is true of other unusual naming approaches.

I guess I see it as "cutesy" instead of a joke. The parents probably saw or heard it somewhere and thought it was cute and different, so they used it.

 

[shawthorne44]

 

I have a really low tolerance for mean.  I might have the lowest tolerance of anyone you guys know online or IRL.    My proudest motherly moment was the first time that another parent told me that one reason they liked DD to come play is that she eliminates all sibling meanness.  DD won't tolerate it and the kids know it.   Another family told me that too.   There are several popular TV shows I won't watch because people are mean to each other.  When we got baby chickens, I picked a breed known for being kind to each other, and all the same kind.  Chickens can be prejudiced shitheads.   

So, when I tell you my internal response when I read the article before seeing this thread, and my reaction went from "How disgusting!" to "Well, what did the mom expect?" that should tell you something.  

Oddly, if the full name had been something like Jane ABCDE Smith, it wouldn't have crossed over from "How disgusting!"     If you want to use a weird name, stick it in the middle.  Then call your kid that.  

[DesertBlossom]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

My name is Danielle. I have always been happy to be named that and I think it is a beautiful name. I have received positive feedback on my name throughout my life. It was a stabilizing force when people made fun of other silly things; i.e., they could transform my name into “Dan-smell” to be little asshats, but internally I could still know I have a lovely name. 

 

I don't think I've ever shared my real name on this forum.... but I'm also Danielle, also called Dan-smell in elementary school. I hated it. Absolutely hated it. 

[HS Mom in NC]

It's not the name, it's the spelling that's the problem. Abcde is a name the vast majority of people will have no idea how to pronounce correctly, which is one of my issues with Kryayetyv spellings.  I don't think many people would ridicule or mock the unusual but very pretty sounding Absidy spelled in a way that gives people a clue to it's pronunciation.  The spelling is a pain in the neck because the child will have to be asked frequently how it's pronounced.  She'll either have to be ok with that or she'll have to be continually irritated by it.  Some people don't like being the center of attention and this will put her in the spotlight.

It really does look like a clerical error or a prank, which isn't a nice thing to do to your kid. 

When we adopted from S. Korea we had to take parenting classes.  One of them included why we should not make the child's Korean name their legal first name or the name we called them.  Children adopted into a family of a different race and immigrant children often have a deeper need to fit in, and a clearly foreign name conflicts with that.  This kid won't have those issues, but the spelling is so far out of the norm for American English (we don't use bcd in combination with each other and c is the soft sound when it's immediately followed by an e, i, or y) that it will be responded to as a foreign name. It's spelling looks like it's unpronounceable in English.

[Guest]

Just now, DesertBlossom said:

I don't think I've ever shared my real name on this forum.... but I'm also Danielle, also called Dan-smell in elementary school. I hated it. Absolutely hated it. 

Why was that such a thing? It’s not even clever. 

 

[DesertBlossom]

3 minutes ago, Quill said:

Why was that such a thing? It’s not even clever. 

 

I don't know. But it certainly stung. Elementary school was a tough time for me. I think I've finally recovered. :)

[DesertBlossom]

I don't know if we ought to go as far as requiring government approval for names like Sweden does, but maybe we need to have like 5 people sign off on it. Like, if you can't get 5 people to sign off that your baby name good idea, you have to find something different. (I jest... a little) I know I've mentioned it before on the crazy baby name threads, but I knew a girl named Chewbacca. Cross my heart and hope to die. She was in elementary school then and went by the nickname Chewie. Supposedly her father had insisted on the name. I heard her parents divorced and she was going to get it legally changed. I sincerely hope she did. Because who does that to a child?

[HS Mom in NC]

2 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

Ok, so please forgive me and help me.

I have only ever read the name Isolde, and not heard it pronounced.

 

I read it as EE-sold.  Rhymes with He Sold.  Is there some other way it should be pronounced?  

On screen I have heard it pronounced Eye-zuld.  The first syllable I wrote as Eye is a homophone with the pronoun I.
I have also heard it pronounced as eye-Zolda which rhymes with Hi, Golda.
 

[HS Mom in NC]

14 minutes ago, Quill said:

Why was that such a thing? It’s not even clever. 

 

Because it's the only option for teasing.  What else is there?

[HS Mom in NC]

13 minutes ago, DesertBlossom said:

I don't know if we ought to go as far as requiring government approval for names like Sweden does, but maybe we need to have like 5 people sign off on it. Like, if you can't get 5 people to sign off that your baby name good idea, you have to find something different. (I jest... a little) I know I've mentioned it before on the crazy baby name threads, but I knew a girl named Chewbacca. Cross my heart and hope to die. She was in elementary school then and went by the nickname Chewie. Supposedly her father had insisted on the name. I heard her parents divorced and she was going to get it legally changed. I sincerely hope she did. Because who does that to a child?

In 6th grade there was a girl who went by Chuy, but she was from Mexico and Chuy is a nickname there. I don't remember her actual name, which I only heard a couple of times.  Of course people made Chewbaca jokes about it.  I have no idea if it bothered her because she always laughed along with it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

1 hour ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

In 6th grade there was a girl who went by Chuy, but she was from Mexico and Chuy is a nickname there. I don't remember her actual name, which I only heard a couple of times.  Of course people made Chewbaca jokes about it.  I have no idea if it bothered her because she always laughed along with it.

Chuy is a common nickname for boys named Jesus. I don’t know what it would be for a girl, though. 

[Stacia]

I'm pretty appalled at this thread overall.

Plenty of people are finding fault with the name or with the parents. So many judgements being thrown around. I guess you can feel pretty sure that this girl will be set up for a lifetime of ridicule... because that's exactly what you're doing now. I guess you have to assume that this is how others will behave/she & her family will be treated because you base it on your own less-than-kind actions & reactions.

So petty.

Hopefully the younger generation will rise above this type of pettiness, in spite of the poor examples of behavior currently shown by so many adults.

[historically accurate]

I'm up with a fussy, possibly sick kid, so I'm thinking about where the name originally came from. I'm sure this little girl on the plane got her name from the baby forum or a baby book or Mom heard it somewhere, but I'm curious about the first Abcde from 1986. People draw inspiration for names from all sorts of arenas, so why not the alphabet? It's not an area I would consider for naming a child, but I don't fault them for doing so. 

Some ideas I came up with:

One of the parents is a Wheel of Fortune winner.

Mom or Dad is a teacher and spent the whole nine months of pregnancy staring at the alphabet strip above the blackboard and finally realized they could make a name from the first 5 letters.

Dad vetoed all of the "normal" names and Mom finally said, "Let's just call her ABCD." It spiraled from there.

They let her choose her own name, and she loved the alphabet song.

Adam married Barbara. They had Caleb, Daniel, and Evan. They couldn't come up with a name starting with F, so they used their initials to form a new one.

They let an older sibling help with the name.

It's a nickname they called the baby before she was born (did anyone else have those for their pregnant bellies?), and the name stuck after she was born.

One of the parents loves Scrabble.

 

Ironically, since I'm up way past my bedtime, I started a new book. There is a character named Cayce in it. I first read it as Case, but when I realized that the character was female, I changed the voice in my head to read it as Casey. So, that's my creative spelling funny today.

[historically accurate]

3 hours ago, DesertBlossom said:

I don't know if we ought to go as far as requiring government approval for names like Sweden does, but maybe we need to have like 5 people sign off on it. Like, if you can't get 5 people to sign off that your baby name good idea, you have to find something different. (I jest... a little) I know I've mentioned it before on the crazy baby name threads, but I knew a girl named Chewbacca. Cross my heart and hope to die. She was in elementary school then and went by the nickname Chewie. Supposedly her father had insisted on the name. I heard her parents divorced and she was going to get it legally changed. I sincerely hope she did. Because who does that to a child?

Well, Abcde would pass your test. According to this article, the first year it showed up as a name is 1990. 5 newborns used it that year. 

https://www.thisisinsider.com/abcde-name-popularity-2018-11

I read somewhere else it dates to 1986, but either way there's a few hundred Abcde's out there.

 

I also looked up the baby name Chewbacca's popularity - it was #13,621 in 2016. It was #9,072 in 2004. So there are a few out there, but those are boy name statistics, not girls.  https://www.babycenter.com/baby-names-chewbacca-1186045.htm

[Carrie12345]

13 hours ago, Quill said:

And this is how many surnames came to be in the first place, using the occupation or a characteristic or something about where the person lived. So it was John (the) Miller, or John White (hair) or John Clifton. 

The only thing that really does bug me with odd spellings or creative names is when the mom gets all indignant that you failed to remember how to spell their own little Kaetlynne’s name, or that you forgot her name is Kris-TELL, not Kris-tle. If you want to stand out by being different, well okay, but people got enough stuff to remember without breaking their brain on your own imaginative naming appetite. 

I have a little regret for giving my dd a name with many spelling variations (even before the imaginative ones.) One might think I would have learned from having one myself! @@. Coupled with a difficult to spell last name, neither of us can get through the name question without tons of repeating.

We  don''t get indignant though.  Well, unless it's someone very close to us, or replying in print WITH OUR PROPER SPELLING PLAINLY VISIBLE!  Dd gets that quite a bit on FB. Seriously, her name is *right there*!

 

[J-rap]

There's certainly nothing wrong with unusual or strange-sounding or very old-fashioned names  (and to wonder if they are "presidential" or not seems kind of nutty!).    I guess I'd just assume that the parents found it beautiful or inspiring or whatever, and for that reason, chose it special for the child for a reason.  Sure, some of them will cause a head to turn or people to say "What? Say again?" or require it to be spelled out every time, but that's the way it goes.  It sounds like some people here have had a hard time with their unusual or old-fashioned names though, and shame on those people who made fun of you because of that!

What I do mind is when parents purposefully choose a name that is, well, ridiculous, because that truly sets the child up for being made fun of.  I think that's what Scarlett was getting at.  For example, in researching odd names, someone named their child Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop, another Batman, and another Mister Love.  My mother had a friend whose last name was Hand, and his parents named him Wavy My.  So I guess ABCDE kind of falls in that category.  If the whole purpose of the name is a spoof, then it really does seem unfair and even mean to do to the child.

Of course it's wrong for a person to make fun of the child, but really, the parent should know better.

[Ausmumof3]

18 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

I imagine a 25yr old Abcde is going to have a very difficult time getting her resume to be taken seriously.  

Unless she’s an early childhood teacher or a literacy specialist 😂

[LMD]

Unusual, creative spelling or made-up-but-phonetically-decipherable is a whole 'nother world from a gimmicky, joke name. A child is a person, not a joke.

Some of my kids have uncommon for this time/place names. Dh is one of 3 men in his family with his name. I have an unusual spelling of a very common name. I love my name, always have. My maiden name was welsh, I got used to spelling all of it all the time.

[Pink and Green Mom]

Am I the only one who thought about Big Bird thinking the alphabet was a word?

 

[Momto6inIN]

13 hours ago, Lang Syne Boardie said:

 

I don't believe that.

This has been mentioned on these forums many times, but not recently: There are "stories" out there about crazy baby names, but they are urban legend with a racist undertone. If someone tells you, "A person at least once removed from me, encountered XYZ baby name in their life," no, they didn't. It's a story. It's a sort of unkind joke about imaginary people.

There are unusual names out there, but they're only to believed if you meet the person yourself.

Well, my mom worked in payroll for a big manufacturing plant in the 70's and there were 2 brothers she wrote checks for every pay period named "ABC" and "123". I have no idea what cultural group these men were from, my mom never said, but I don't think she was making up racist stories. She always assumed the mother was illiterate, which is a form of prejudice, but not a racial one. The plant employed primarily white men and they were mostly low income.

[Scarlett]

37 minutes ago, Pink and Green Mom said:

Am I the only one who thought about Big Bird thinking the alphabet was a word?

 

I don’t remember it but I is so cool! Thank you for sharing. 

[underthebridge]

We can all agree that there times when parents make deliberately provocative choices in naming their child - recently, someone named their child “Adolph Hitler”. There was also a well known art collector in Texas named “Ima Hogg”, who  concealed her first name in a number of ways her whole life.

There are also parents who unwittingly choose a name that has an eye opening meaning. Often, the names are medical terms, perhaps overheard at the hospital. I have seen babies on the maternity ward with the names “Placenta” and “Melena”. Melena sounds lovely, but it is the medical term for dark bloody stool. I have not seen, but have heard of babies being named “Orgasm” and “Urethra”. 

So where does “Abcde” fall on this spectrum? I’m not sure but I do think that name choices can have unintended consequences, good and bad, that parents can somewhat, but not entirely, control. Like nearly everything in life, to each, their own. 

[HS Mom in NC]

6 hours ago, Stacia said:

I'm pretty appalled at this thread overall.

Plenty of people are finding fault with the name or with the parents. So many judgements being thrown around. I guess you can feel pretty sure that this girl will be set up for a lifetime of ridicule... because that's exactly what you're doing now. I guess you have to assume that this is how others will behave/she & her family will be treated because you base it on your own less-than-kind actions & reactions.

So petty.

Hopefully the younger generation will rise above this type of pettiness, in spite of the poor examples of behavior currently shown by so many adults.

You didn't read many of the posts carefully.  People were talking about the effect of ridicule their own names brought them and are worried this child will experience some of that, how the personality factor plays into being questioned regularly, and the new reality of legal documentation headaches in Modern America.  Those are not petty issues, those are real considerations in the context of a society.

[Teaching3bears]

I feel like everyone is ignoring the fact that there are over 300 females with the name Abcde in this country. Does the name belong to a certain culture? Or community? I am assuming that it does. Does anybody know?

There are plenty of immigrants and refugees that come to this country with names that sound very strange in English and might be hard to pronounce but might be very common in their country, in fact they might be some if the most common names on the planet. Even though I named my sons with common names I embrace a diversity of names.

[historically accurate]

3 hours ago, J-rap said:

There's certainly nothing wrong with unusual or strange-sounding or very old-fashioned names  (and to wonder if they are "presidential" or not seems kind of nutty!).    I guess I'd just assume that the parents found it beautiful or inspiring or whatever, and for that reason, chose it special for the child for a reason.  Sure, some of them will cause a head to turn or people to say "What? Say again?" or require it to be spelled out every time, but that's the way it goes.  It sounds like some people here have had a hard time with their unusual or old-fashioned names though, and shame on those people who made fun of you because of that!

What I do mind is when parents purposefully choose a name that is, well, ridiculous, because that truly sets the child up for being made fun of.  I think that's what Scarlett was getting at.  For example, in researching odd names, someone named their child Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop, another Batman, and another Mister Love.  My mother had a friend whose last name was Hand, and his parents named him Wavy My.  So I guess ABCDE kind of falls in that category.  If the whole purpose of the name is a spoof, then it really does seem unfair and even mean to do to the child.

Of course it's wrong for a person to make fun of the child, but really, the parent should know better.

nm. 

Edited December 1, 2018 by beckyjo

[marbel]

9 hours ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

Because it's the only option for teasing.  What else is there?

Right.  I'm Margaret - what can you do with that, right?  Well, in grade school I was a fat kid, so I became.... Margarine.  It was not meant as a term of endearment....

[Lady Florida.]

13 hours ago, beckyjo said:

 

As I've read this thread, it shows me how far we still have to go as a society. Kids are always told that anyone can be president. But apparently, that adage only applies to people who have traditional names with no different spellings. I'm sad that people still judge people because of their name, which is something they didn't even choose for themselves. 

Don't y'all ever get tired of Noah and Liam and Emma and Olivia? Edit: not that those names are bad, they are just the top 2 boys and top 2 girls names of the past few years.

 

Traditional names from a specific culture, even. Some names that sound weird to some of us are very traditional for their culture. 

I get what you mean but we have twin great nieces named Sophia and Olivia, and our newest grandchild is Emma. We're not tired of their names. 🙂  They'll do fine. Although my name is now an old lady name, when I was growing up it was quite common. There were often three or more girls named Kathy/Cathy in my classes. I didn't love having a common name but I survived it and even reached a point where it's no longer common. 

ETA: All three of those names were old lady names when my now-old lady name was common. Names go in cycles. Sophia, Olivia, and Emma will eventually go out of style just as Kathy, Debbie, Janet, and many other names that were common in my time have done.

12 hours ago, Serenade said:

 

I wanted to name my dog Portia as in the Merchant of Venice but my DH said everyone would think of the car, so she got a different name.  I'm kind of chuckling because I didn't want my dog to have strange associations with her name, either. 

I remember when a friend who was pregnant the same time I was wanted to name her daughter Rhiannon. All I could hear in my head was Stevie Nicks singing and I thought that's what everyone would think when they heard her daughter's name. Rhiannon is now pretty common and most people don't automatically start singing Fleetwood Mac when they hear it.

12 hours ago, Farrar said:

 

Honestly, I don't personally love this name. The pronunciation is pretty and the concept is cute, but I like a name that follows some level of spelling convention - even if that spelling convention is for a foreign language or is a "creative" spelling that still could be pronounceable. Abcde doesn't follow any pronounceable system. But whatever. It's so not something to get up in arms about. Let people be.

I think the name sounds lovely but I do see years of difficulty for the child as she has to spell her name, or when people see it written and she has to pronounce it for them. Other than that, there's nothing to get worked up about. 

7 hours ago, Stacia said:

I

Hopefully the younger generation will rise above this type of pettiness, in spite of the poor examples of behavior currently shown by so many adults.

In my limited experience with a 21yo and his friends, they will do much better than we've done.

Edited December 1, 2018 by Lady Florida.

[Serenade]

11 minutes ago, Lady Florida. said:

 

 Rhiannon is now pretty common and most people don't automatically start singing Fleetwood Mac when they hear it.

 

 

😀

[Stacia]

47 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

You didn't read many of the posts carefully.  People were talking about the effect of ridicule their own names brought them and are worried this child will experience some of that, how the personality factor plays into being questioned regularly, and the new reality of legal documentation headaches in Modern America.  Those are not petty issues, those are real considerations in the context of a society.

Yes, I did read the posts carefully. What I read is quite a bit of mockery (of the parents, of the name) under the guise of care and concern (for the girl).

[KungFuPanda]

18 hours ago, Tanaqui said:

I don't see what else you can call it, Scarlett. Why not just live and let live? This family has done nothing to you. And I think you know that you wouldn't like it one bit if somebody did this to you, blaring their disapproval of your name or your son's name all over the internet.

I'm pretty sure that posting on TWTM chat forum does not equal "blaring" something "all over" the internet.  I'm not sure anyone could find this thread if they wanted to.  Have you ever tried using our search feature??? It can take some real effort to find things here that you KNOW exist.  

18 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

So since we’re talking about names can someone please explain to me how Jack every became a nickname for John? It’s no shorter. 

If it's like my family, you have to differentiate between the 10 people with the same name at any given family function.  

18 hours ago, Tanaqui said:

And if he'd spelled it Deanna, some people would still pronounce it wrong and spell it wrong. Sad to say, there's simply no magic trick to guaranteeing that people will spell and pronounce a name correctly, no matter how ordinary and phonetic you think the name is.

Yes, but by choosing Deanna we would GREATLY reduce the instances of needing to correct people. You'll always need to correct someone, but when nobody ever spells your name correctly, the problem isn't them. 

15 hours ago, Lang Syne Boardie said:

 

I don't believe that.

This has been mentioned on these forums many times, but not recently: There are "stories" out there about crazy baby names, but they are urban legend with a racist undertone. If someone tells you, "A person at least once removed from me, encountered XYZ baby name in their life," no, they didn't. It's a story. It's a sort of unkind joke about imaginary people.

There are unusual names out there, but they're only to believed if you meet the person yourself.

Are you telling me that La-a is an urban name myth.  I'd be relieved if it was.

Actually it can be a little fun to make up an unusual variation to a common name.  I need to have more kids so i can name them "4man" or Kurstive (spelled Qrstuv) or a symbol like Prince did.

14 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

This thread is making me want a new User name. I need something exciting! With pizazz. 

 

Annnnd this very post ended my confusion about your new screen name.  I only caught it because you kept the picture.  I would have decided you where a whole new person otherwise.

12 hours ago, Quill said:

The thing is, humans are societal creatures. We agree on “rules” and those rules help us make sense of our world and other people. Those “rules” help us get along in society and function communally. 

My name is Danielle. I have always been happy to be named that and I think it is a beautiful name. I have received positive feedback on my name throughout my life. It was a stabilizing force when people made fun of other silly things; i.e., they could transform my name into “Dan-smell” to be little asshats, but internally I could still know I have a lovely name. 

When I was little, a friend of my mother had a baby and decided to name her Danielle, too, because she thought my name sounded pretty. But she had never seen the name before, and this was before one could Google such things and so she and the nurse guessed at spelling it Danyell. Now - this still sounds out the same but it does not look pretty. It has a “yell” in there, even, which can’t be a flattering connotation. Assuming she retained that spelling, I guarantee more than a few people have thought her parents must have been dim-wits. It has probably caused her a fair amount of aggravation in her life, because her parents did not spell her name in a way that makes sense.

We follow conventions. It’s not a crime to spell Danielle as Danyell or Deniel or Danni-Elle, but it’s muddling the message and making things unnecessarily difficult. It’s not a crime to wear a tuto and a clown wig to Costco, either, but you’re inviting scrutiny that you probably won’t enjoy. 

 

I grew up with a Nadia.  Her mother had only seen the name in print and thought it was pronounced "NAY-duh" so that was the pronunciation of her name.

[Stacia]

I guess I missed the parable where it's ok to ridicule strangers to a crowd (online), judge the parenting decisions of others based on a name, and assume my way of thinking/naming/approaching the world is, of course, correct, no matter what.

I feel pretty sure no faith tradition would support the behaviors and mockery/fake concern I have seen here. And in the case of no faith tradition, ethics would also rule out behaving that way.

[umsami]

39 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

I

Are you telling me that La-a is an urban name myth.  I'd be relieved if it was.

 

Going to add that "La-a" means "no" in Arabic.

I feel sorry for the child on many accounts as her Mom has made it basically easy for people to tease her.  As somebody who was teased a lot as a kid, I am of the belief that you don't make it easy. I had a French teacher take one point off of every test because I spelled my name with a "K" vs. a "C".  That was just weird.  I hope that she grows up to be a strong girl who takes pride in her name and causes others to take pride too.  Personally, if I know a nice or cool "Abcde" then in general all other "Abcde"s will get an assumption of being good/nice/cool unless I know otherwise.  

 DH wanted to name our daughter Fatimah.  Popular Muslim name.  Also known in Catholic circles.  But I have always been fat, so my fear was that if my daughter followed me in appearance, she would be "Fatty Fatimah."  Of course, she was in the 5th percentile for weight and was still teased about being fat. 😞

For my male kids, I chose short, easy to pronounce names that worked in both Muslim and American culture.  Same for my daughter.  No Abdul-Rahman or Abdul-Azim.

In Islam, one of the duties of parents is to give their child a "good" name.  I believe part of it dates back to in 7th century Arabic, some would name a beautiful daughter some word along the lines of "ugly" so that the evil spirits wouldn't know.    Of course, I'm not sure how a Muslim would feel about the name "Dolores" which means "sad."  

 

[Catwoman]

2 hours ago, Dotwithaperiod said:

Years ago people on this board would do their semi annual bashing of AA names. They thought they were so clever. I guess they can be proud today of evolving into bashing any name they deem ridiculous. 

Yes, I do think stuff like this is less important to younger people, hopefully even the children of idiot parents who get off to mocking children’s names.

 

People aren’t mocking the child. People are being critical of the parents who decided to give their child a name that will probably be a hindrance to her for the rest of her life. Abcde isn’t even remotely a word, and I am willing to bet that the vast majority of people would not recognize it as a name, nor be able to pronounce it if they saw it written down, or spell it if they heard it said out loud. That may prove to be a real burden to that child. 

[City Mouse]

4 hours ago, Pink and Green Mom said:

Am I the only one who thought about Big Bird thinking the alphabet was a word?

 

I have been repeating this song in my head since the thread started. 😁

[Stacia]

1 hour ago, happysmileylady said:

This is really my point.  Clearly, obviously, this name is going to cause problems for the child.  It already has.  It will continue to do in the future.  And I am not going feel bad about judging a parent to not have taken the naming of her child seriously enough when anyone could have predicted that exactly what is happening would come to pass.  Because that is how the world is, regardless of how much we wish it were different.  

The name is not what is causing problems for the child.

The fact that so many people are callous and shallow enough to ridicule and judge others is what is causing problems.

[Jean in Newcastle]

The first time I had a student named Siobhan, I had absolutely no idea how it was pronounced.  It doesn't follow phonetic rules for English and I don't speak or read Gaelic.  I had to ask my student how to pronounce it, which offended her greatly even though I was not trying to be offensive.  I was able to learn how to read and spell and pronounce it - just like Abcde's friends and family and teachers have no doubt learned without too much trouble. 

I don't know of anyone who would castigate Siobhan's parents for naming her that.  Of course that name comes from a white culture. . .

[freesia]

6 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

The first time I had a student named Siobhan, I had absolutely no idea how it was pronounced.  It doesn't follow phonetic rules for English and I don't speak or read Gaelic.  I had to ask my student how to pronounce it, which offended her greatly even though I was not trying to be offensive.  I was able to learn how to read and spell and pronounce it - just like Abcde's friends and family and teachers have no doubt learned without too much trouble. 

I don't know of anyone who would castigate Siobhan's parents for naming her that.  Of course that name comes from a white culture. . .

Not disagreeing with you at all, but you do know this girl is white, right?

[Jean in Newcastle]

3 minutes ago, freesia said:

Not disagreeing with you at all, but you do know this girl is white, right?

But it is most common in Hawaii, which is not predominantly white. 

Editing to add a link:  https://www.vocativ.com/culture/society/people-named-abcde/index.html

Edited December 1, 2018 by Jean in Newcastle

[Faith-manor]

3 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

But it is most common in Hawaii, which is not predominantly white. 

Editing to add a link:  https://www.vocativ.com/culture/society/people-named-abcde/index.html

Yes, and I think that in particular, both Alaska and Hawaii would have more unusual or "not white" names than we are used to on the mainland. The Hawaiian language only has 12 letters. The Inuit language has nine written versions and two alphabets with close to 40,000 speakers in the state, I would think that this would lead to some names that are very rare if not non-existent in the other 48 states.

[KungFuPanda]

2 hours ago, umsami said:

Going to add that "La-a" means "no" in Arabic.

 

No, the name isn’t pronounced “la.” It’s pronounced Ladasha because “the dash ain’t silent,” or so goes the hopefully false rumor.

28 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I don't know of anyone who would castigate Siobhan's parents for naming her that.  Of course that name comes from a white culture. . .

Do you think this child could avoid name-related stress by living in a neighborhood or attending a school with no white people? This isn’t about an intolerance for names that sound unfamiliar to some cultures. This is about choosing something that nobody anywhere will learn to spell and pronounce until you give them the obligatory lesson on how to do it properly, then sentencing a child to reteaching this lesson ad nauseam for the rest of her life. We don’t no the race of this child, but there’s nowhere she can plant herself where people will be familiar with this name. (Is she even a “she?”)

I have a friend with a truly made up name. It’s her. It’s even pretty. It’s still a constant task to deal with. I’m a little surprised that so many people confuse engaging in a discussion about this name with directly taunting a child who has it. I can’t tell if they’re being dramatic for effect or if they truly believe it’s the same thing. 

 

Edited December 1, 2018 by KungFuPanda

[Jean in Newcastle]

1 minute ago, KungFuPanda said:

No, the name isn’t pronounced “la.” It’s pronounced Ladasha because “the dash ain’t silent,” or so goes the hopefully false rumor.

Do you think this child could avoid name-related stress by living in a neighborhood or attending a school with no white people? This isn’t about an intolerance for names that sound unfamiliar to some cultures. This is about choosing something that nobody anywhere will learn to spell and pronounce until you give them the obligatory lesson on how to do it properly, then sentencing a child to retracting this lesson ad nauseam for the rest of her life. We don’t no the race of this child, but there’s nowhere she can plant herself where people will be familiar with this name. 

I have a friend with a truly made up name. It’s her. It’s even pretty. It’s still a constant task to deal with. I’m a little surprised that so many people confuse engaging in a discussion about this name with directly taunting a child who has it. I can’t tell if they’re being dramatic for effect or if they truly believe it’s the same thing. 

 

I have people constantly mispelling "Jean".  I get "Gene" (understandable, even though that is a predominantly male speIling).  I get Jine.  Or Jene - esp. if I say it is with a J.  I get Jeen.  Guess what - giving the obligatory lesson is very common for many many people.  I get the most success when I tell people "it's like the pants". 

My husband has a non-white name.  He has a formula for telling people simply how to pronounce it and spell it.  It is automatic for me to do it as well when telling people my husband's name.  It really isn't a big deal. 

My son has a pretty standard name but he doesn't shorten it like most of the people who have his name.  People try to shorten it all the time.  He just says "I prefer __________".  If people give him grief, he just adds, "I'm a purist" with a wink. 

My daughter has a less popular but still fairly standard name.  I had to stand silently while a bunch of women were mocking "stripper names".  My daughter's name was one of them.  Then they turned to her and asked her "what's your name?" 

[Tanaqui]

I'm pretty sure Snopes will pay you if you can provide proof an actual person named La-a. It's a disgusting, racist story and you could easily have googled it before reposting it.

[KungFuPanda]

12 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:

I'm pretty sure Snopes will pay you if you can provide proof an actual person named La-a. It's a disgusting, racist story and you could easily have googled it before reposting it.

Racist how? I’ve never heard a retelling that said anything but the name and how it’s pronounced. If there’s more of an origin story I haven’t heard it. It’s probably better if it isn’t real. 

[Faith-manor]

29 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

No, the name isn’t pronounced “la.” It’s pronounced Ladasha because “the dash ain’t silent,” or so goes the hopefully false rumor.

Do you think this child could avoid name-related stress by living in a neighborhood or attending a school with no white people? This isn’t about an intolerance for names that sound unfamiliar to some cultures. This is about choosing something that nobody anywhere will learn to spell and pronounce until you give them the obligatory lesson on how to do it properly, then sentencing a child to reteaching this lesson ad nauseam for the rest of her life. We don’t no the race of this child, but there’s nowhere she can plant herself where people will be familiar with this name. (Is she even a “she?”)

I have a friend with a truly made up name. It’s her. It’s even pretty. It’s still a constant task to deal with. I’m a little surprised that so many people confuse engaging in a discussion about this name with directly taunting a child who has it. I can’t tell if they’re being dramatic for effect or if they truly believe it’s the same thing. 

 

I understand where you are coming from, but we also don't know where our kids will land in life. In this global economy, many of our kids will also end up. More than one of my kids is going to end up living abroad so they are going to spend their entire lives spelling their names and teaching people how to say them anyway.  Our Danish last name is CONSTANTLY misspelled here. Since I married and took Dh's last name, I have spent 30 years telling people how to spell it, a six letter surname.

We increasingly live in a diverse society with people from a plethora of heritages. I have a ridiculously common English name, one that no one would think odd, and I have to spell it everywhere I go. Everywhere. Our eldest daughter has a five letter NOT difficult or unique name at all. She has to spell it. Everyone wants to put a "y" in it even though it is spelled according to the English phonetic rules with an "i". Eldest boy has another ridiculously normal name meaning Christ follower, but he always has to spell it too. The "ph" is considered weird these days I guess even though it is the standard English spelling, very common. My cousin Stephan always, always, always has to spell it because everyone goes for Steven, and his name isn't even pronounced with a 'v" when he introduces himself. He's 48, and has never lived anywhere that he hasn't had to train people how to spell and say his name.

[Stacia]

40 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

No, the name isn’t pronounced “la.” It’s pronounced Ladasha because “the dash ain’t silent,” or so goes the hopefully false rumor.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/le-a/