Could I possibly be old fashioned?

[Night Elf]

Does a bride on her second+ marriage wear white? I always thought that was for first marriages. I know someone who just remarried and she wore a traditional white wedding dress and it just struck me as odd. I can't imagine me being old fashioned in many ways but is this one?

[almondbutterandjelly]

I think most brides wear white now, whichever wedding it is.

[OneStepAtATime]

Tradition seems to have changed. White is more popular/accepted now even for 2nd marriages.

[Guest]

It is old fashioned these days. Women wear pretty much whatever color they want to whichever wedding they want. I've seen first time brides wear red wedding dresses and second brides wear white. Convention is pretty loose these days.

[Carol in Cal.]

That's an old-fashioned custom, and although if I remarried I don't know that I'd wear a big white dress (because I would look like a Big White Whale in it), it wouldn't raise my eyebrows if someone else did.  I still, however, don't wear black to weddings or to non-family funerals, so I'm fairly old-fashioned myself.

[Guest]

I was raised hearing that too: white for first marriage only, ivory or another off-white for subsequent marriages.

 

But that's all changed now. Pretty much no one goes by that anymore.

[Night Elf]

I got remarried and when I went shopping for an outfit, I found a cream colored suit, sort of pants and a tunic, that was so pretty. But I felt it was too close to white so I didn't get it. I got a blue dress instead. :)

[Storygirl]

A friend of mine wore the same dress to her first and second weddings. She said she still loved it, so why buy a new one? It was an unconventional choice, but it made her happy. This was about twenty years ago, so at least some people wore white for a second wedding, even back then.

 

 

 

 

[Tanaqui]

Wearing all-white is actually a more recent "tradition" than most people realize. I'm not surprised there are people either not following it the first time around, or not following it the second (or later) time!

[luuknam]

I was surprised Emily wanted a white dress for her vow renewal on Gilmore Girls, because she's all about old-fashioned norms and stuff. The dress she ended up with was fine btw, even though it was white, it was at first when I thought she was going with one of those traditional white wedding gowns that I was confused. 

 

In general, who cares? I didn't even wear white to my first (and thus far only) wedding. I wore a light blue-ish/silverish dress. 

 

ETA: I thought ivory fell in the category 'white'.

Edited April 14, 2017 by luuknam

[zoobie]

The bride should wear whatever makes her happy. There's no more hard and fast rule. My MIL made some not-actually-under-her-breath bitchy comment about me wearing white (because in her head I was a dirty skank who had already slept with her son).

[gardenmom5]

these days - the color of the dress is no indication  of anything.   I've seen dresses for first weddings that were definitely NOT white.

[wonderchica]

Most anything goes these days, fashion wise. I've been to a few second weddings lately and the brides wore traditional, poofy white dresses.

[Tanaqui]

The bride should wear whatever makes her happy. There's no more hard and fast rule. My MIL made some not-actually-under-her-breath bitchy comment about me wearing white (because in her head I was a dirty skank who had already slept with her son).

 

I've long suspected that's the real reason for this "rule", just so mean people can make snotty comments.

 

[Guest]

I love the new dresses with a little color in them. If I had a do-over, I'd have white with some colorful embroidered flowers.

 

I don't think many clothing rules/customs last forever.

Edited April 14, 2017 by Moxie

[Amy in NH]

I thought white was originally to symbolize purity/virginity.  Not too many people are virgins getting married even for the first time, which means that white wedding dresses are now just tradition.  Why shouldn't the tradition carry over to those getting married the second time?

[MercyA]

This thread reminds me that Carol Brady followed protocol and wore yellow:

 

 

Check out that huge bow on her head. Groovy.

 

I know someone who was remarried in the 70's after being widowed. I think she wore pink. Someone else I know was married in the 70's when she was pregnant; she wore peach. 

 

Times have changed.

[marbel]

I know someone who at age 60 married husband #3 or 4, in a huge white wedding gown, full veil, etc.    I admit to a moment of "huh?" when I saw the photos, but got over it pretty quickly.  She looked beautiful!

When I married the first time, I wore a rust-red polyester dress from the Sears catalog.   2nd time around, I wore an off-white wedding dress.  :-)

[winterbaby]

I prefer to think of it in terms of it as "the traditional color for this occasion" rather than encoding sexual information that should be private. I had a devout Christian friend who wore off-white to her first wedding and the way she described the dress to me, just the way she said it, I gathered that the color not being pure white was an issue, which was uncomfortable for me because that's just TMI.

[Murphy101]

Old fashioned. And culturally narrow. The white dress thing was never universal across cultures. It really wasn't that long ago that many viewed white as the color of death. Lol

[regentrude]

these days - the color of the dress is no indication  of anything.   I've seen dresses for first weddings that were definitely NOT white.

 

mine was turquoise :) And I wear it still about once a year.

[theelfqueen]

Traditional the "something blue" represents purity (blue is the color of the Virgin Mary) and is far more traditional than white wedding dresses.

 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yes.  Old fashioned.. 

[Garga]

Yes, old fashioned, but I just spent a lovely half hour looking at pictures of colorful wedding dresses.  If I could do it over again, I'd wear a huge gown that's rich purple or burgundy.   :)  I look dreadful in white.

 

 

ETA:  My "wedding gown" was a pink-flowered spring dress that I got at the local mall.  It was 1992 and I was 19 years old.  Imagine "My So Called Life".  

Edited April 14, 2017 by Garga

[Rebel Yell]

The bride should wear whatever makes her happy. There's no more hard and fast rule. My MIL made some not-actually-under-her-breath bitchy comment about me wearing white (because in her head I was a dirty skank who had already slept with her son).

And what about her son, the guy who sleeps with dirty skanks? :rolleyes: Or was he in an all-black tux, to broadcast his impurity?

(I'm kidding, of course. How awful of her.)

 

I've been to far too many funerals and not nearly enough weddings. I believe the bride and groom should be able to wear whatever they want, I'm just happy when I'm invited to celebrate.

[SKL]

I agree, I think it has changed.

 

People used to make snide comments about the white dress at the first wedding, because it was supposed to symbolize virginity and people would wear white after living together, being pregnant, or otherwise being publicly not-so-innocent.  So it really lost its meaning long ago, and in my opinion that is a good change.  Why do the people at a wedding need to think about what did or didn't happen in bed beforehand ....

[SKL]

Though, personally, I don't think I'd bother with a wedding dress the second time ... which is also an acceptable option.  :)

[Tangerine]

I wore white pregnant. I think the purity connotation is super icky, and shockingly is only there to assess and provide commentary on the woman in the scenario.

[Guest]

I wore white pregnant. I think the purity connotation is super icky, and shockingly is only there to assess and provide commentary on the woman in the scenario.

Cause no man wants damaged goods, used merchandise, chewed gum, etc. Right? 🤢🤢🤢

[Tangerine]

That chewed gum analogy always makes me (very sadly) think of Elizabeth Smart.

[Crimson Wife]

Hardly any first-time brides are virgins these days so the "who can be married in white" rule is already old-fashioned

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[winterbaby]

Hardly any first-time brides are virgins these days so the "who can be married in white" rule is already old-fashioned

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yeah, but in communities where it still matters it can sometimes seem like people are trying to be extra icky and intrusive about it these days.

[Reefgazer]

I think the bride should be able to wear whatever color she wants, and family and friends are free to have fun snickering and commenting about it behind her back.  :laugh:

Edited April 15, 2017 by reefgazer

[Seasider]

It is old fashioned these days. Women wear pretty much whatever color they want to whichever wedding they want. I've seen first time brides wear red wedding dresses and second brides wear white. Convention is pretty loose these days.

Agreed. I have to say my favorite dress for a first time bride was on a gal who wore a white, tea length dress with a full skirt. Underneath were multicolored layers of petticoats. So fun when dancing time came!

[Carrie12345]

I didn't wear white, but I didn't want a "wedding" wedding to begin with. Since I did get suckered into a church wedding, I REALLY didn't want people talking about whether or not white was appropriate for someone with a toddler from a previous relationship.  It was clear that people were already trying to figure out whether or not I was knocked up.  (I wasn't, not that it matters.)

[Night Elf]

Yeah, I certainly didn't care if white meant pure. My first husband and I lived together for a year before we got married and that was no secret. But we both came from small families and we had a super small wedding so it was really no big deal.

 

For my second marriage, DH and I went to the courthouse. Much easier!

[hjffkj]

Yes, old fashioned, but I just spent a lovely half hour looking at pictures of colorful wedding dresses. If I could do it over again, I'd wear a huge gown that's rich purple or burgundy. :) I look dreadful in white.

 

 

ETA: My "wedding gown" was a pink-flowered spring dress that I got at the local mall. It was 1992 and I was 19 years old. Imagine "My So Called Life".

I wore a purple wedding dress

[MedicMom]

My dress was black and white, bought for $40 on sale at the mall. It was probably a prom dress but I liked it. It didn't fit well though and I don't think I looked good in it.

If I get married again I'm getting a real wedding dress that is fitted and beautiful. However, I only want to marry my husband and he doesn't want another wedding, so yeah.

[heartlikealion]

To be honest, when I'm looking at merchandise some of the colors all look the same. I got dd some Easter shoes and didn't realize they were sightly off white til I held them up to a more vibrant white shoe. It's very subtle on her shoes.

 

I was fortunate the dress I got was considered ivory. I couldn't really tell until I saw a really white dress. I was pregnant and my mom didn't want me to wear white. It was a very sore topic for me and it's not like the dress color would've convinced people I wasn't pregnant. It was pretty obvious. I was just glad I found a dress I liked (we knew the shop owner and as a gift she discounted it for me).

 

As for the bride mentioned up thread, well, I'd figure she just wanted that dress and so many women wear white that she probably figures "why not me?" Maybe she never wore white in the past and wanted to this time.

[kewb]

I thought the whole white thing was started by one of the British Queens.  Wearing white was seen as frivolous because it got dirty so easily.  You used to get married in your best dress and wore it again.  But a white dress, that was the height of luxury. Totally impractical. 

[frogger]

Yes, I believe kewb is correct. It started more as a way to show off wealth. Somewhere along the line though people picked up a different idea.

[redsquirrel]

Didn't the whole big white dress thing come from Queen Victoria? I thought before her, women just wore a nice dress or their best dress or church dress etc.  She wore a white dress made specifically for the wedding and it became the fashion.  After that all the society brides wanted their own special white dress to get married in. 

 

I think the associations with white and virginity etc came after the fact. I think it's a terrible tradition, hardly anyone looks good in all white.

 

The only good thing about the white dress is that people can find you easily in a crowded wedding, lol.

Edited April 15, 2017 by redsquirrel

[Tanaqui]

Yes, Queen Victoria. Though it is true that many women did have a new dress made for the occasion, it was just a, you know, a new dress.