EmmaNZ Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I am at my wits end. Sigh 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mc26 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Yes. Just yes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmstranger Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 LOL...yes, but I don't necessarily think it stops at 12. Mine turned 13 last week and I'm pretty sure nothing has changed! :) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Yes.....but you know what? 14 got much better, 16 was awesome, and 17 is kind of cool. :D Just make it through those early years one hour at a time. :D 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Yes.....but you know what? 14 got much better, 16 was awesome, and 17 is kind of cool. :D Just make it through those early years one hour at a time. :D This exactly. My third (and last) boy is turning 14 next month. Older boys are 16.5 and 18.5 now. It has been crazy how much things have changed. The boys are so nice and so much fun and it is just so fun to watch them become young men. But later elementary/middle school? Oh my goodness they made me nuts. I think I have PTSD from the things they put me through. Just kidding, kind of. Very difficult time raising three boys through that age one right after another. I see moms with younger boys all the time struggling through that age. I try to encourage them because it does get better. So much better! I was strict with mine when they were little and always saw myself as a disciplinarian but that approach got me no where at that age. I found they really needed love and acceptance no matter how ridiculous their behavior or how frustrated I was. They still had consequences, etc.but they really just needed time. Hang in there! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlktwins Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 YES, and I have fraternal twin boys age 11.5! Lord help me!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 This isn't a JAWM, so... I have a 11 and a 12 year old and they aren't difficult or annoying in the least. Perhaps knowing that will give you hope? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Both of mine were difficult even for the nursery nurses. There are growing pains at this age span though. My DS12 has joints pains with every growth spurt. He also needs more sleep and more food. My DS11 just started having growth spurts so we'll see how it goes for him. DS11 hasn't need more sleep yet. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Ds 11 isn't too bad yet. He's definitely starting with the puberty changes but other than reminding him that he does need to shower every so often, and does need to wash his face every day, and does need to brush his teeth every day, he's doing okay. He's a bit of an Aspie and just telling him that the reason he feels weepy, extra tired and extra hungry is due to hormones makes him feel better about it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theelfqueen Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 It is for mine. Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I have an 11-yr-old boy who is just delightful, but he has always been my easiest, most even-tempered child. I think it probably depends on the child. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Mine is almost 12 and life with him is finally really very pleasant. That being said, his first 8-9 years of life were so, so tough. He was such a challenge as a toddler and a young child. I'm hoping that this carries through his teenage years; I've heard when they're easy early on they're tough later and vice versa. Who knows, I really think each child is an individual. Regardless, I'm enjoying this season! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I think it depends on the kid, but yeah, a middle school principal once told me that 7th grade is the worst for boys. She said it's like they have alzheimers or something. For one of my ds13s (who had his share of significant exec function issues), she was right; I wondered whether I'd be alive at the end. 8th grade has been so much better. OTOH, his twin brother's challenges during 7th grade were different - schoolwork was not the issue at all, as much as everything else - couldn't relate to siblings, couldn't decide if he was a little boy or a giant monster, figuratively. Sports seemed to help him. Food. Sleep. Had a good laugh with his friend's mom about how they would bring a stuffed animal with them on sleepovers and then play whatever aggressive/macho boy games. My next in line is just 10 and he's been my easiest kid all the way through - hoping for smooth sailing :) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Yes! I have four boys and I think boarding school is a good idea at 12 or 13. At 14 they start to become human again. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmmaNZ Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 Thanks all, at least I know I'm not alone. To all those with easy-to-parent boys, I hope they stay easy (and is there a secret I am missing?!) I found they really needed love and acceptance no matter how ridiculous their behavior or how frustrated I was. Yes, I am finding this too, but it is hard. She said it's like they have alzheimers or something. Ha - yup! Yes! I have four boys and I think boarding school is a good idea at 12 or 13. At 14 they start to become human again. I have 4 as well. This one is my eldest - that means I could potentially have 10 more years of this. :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 YES!! And for girls!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I think it's a difficult age for everybody. *hugs* 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 For the most part, my boys are delightful... but they are struggling at this age, yeah. The other day they jumped on and broke the futon. It's not completely broken, but one of the slats went completely kaput. They were like, why did we do that, I don't know why we did that, it seemed fun at the time, but it was obviously stupid. I feel like that was completely emblematic of this age. Kids who would have known better a year or two ago briefly losing the ability to use common sense. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Remember what SWB says: sandwich, nap, shower, exercise. Apply one or more for the child (or you!) as needed. :grouphug: 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 YES! However we also have moments where he is just a delight to be around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SebastianCat Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Is 11/12 a difficult age for boys? A hundred times, YES! I wasn't prepared for moodiness and brain fog in my DS when he turned 11, but sending him outside to run helped tremendously. Sometime during the year he was 12, things got better, and 13 was not bad at all. He's 14 1/2 now and I have to say he had another rough stretch when he turned 14, but it wasn't nearly as bad as 11. I thought it would hit later with DS, but 11 has been the most difficult year (so far, but hopefully for good!) for both of my kids. Most issues with boys this age (...or rather, my DS...) could be solved with food, exercise, and sleep. I was very thankful to homeschool through middle school because we could stop school so he could go run or get a snack in the middle of our day. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 My 10 year old ds is awesome, sweet, kind,.... Please Lord, help him stay that way! My girls are 12 and 14. They are also really cool kids. A little emotional at times, or can get angry easily, or emotional, or emotional... lol They are wonderful though. We have tons of fun together, watching movies, doing their hair, me learning what is "cool" and what isn't.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Twelve was the worst year with both my boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 It is the beginning of the hormone ride of doom. My poor boys have each been convinced that they are losing their minds at that age. We were braced for it the second time around so are handling it much better than the first. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Uhhhh..... yes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverMoon Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Depends on the boy. That's right when life got rocky for my oldest and I can't say that it's smooth at 18yo frankly. :P But middle DS is 13 now and very easy going. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 I have a just turned 12 yr old girl, and 11/12 has been tough here. She's always been an intense kid, though, so it's more that everything got turned up a few notches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madteaparty Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Still loving life with my 12 year old but school-wise, it was a bit tough last year. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Our magic age was 13. Cheerful, cooperative, enthusiastic one day, moody and argumentative the next. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 In my experience, the "hard" kids are the ones who are least likely to just take XYZ for an answer. As frustrating as this can be when you've got a house to run and kids to care for and your own responsibilities to meet, I've found this particular personality trait makes for some pretty creative and fantastic habits in young adults. Just let him know you love him for who he is and enjoy his company in between the sparring as much as you can. This will go a long way in the long run. Hang in there, mamma. Your love for him will be the glue that holds him together in the years to come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 I only have boys.. my eldest didn't go through much of any "ugly period" & if he would have moments if we said something he changed.. Oh was I spoiled, because the next one in line.. It could be the reason I go grey.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamijoy Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Yes. I'm not sure why people say the teenage years are bad. It's the preteen years. My oldest is now 15 and is mostly pleasant now, but from about 11-12.5, he was far from pleasant quite often. My now-13 year old son has always been my most laid back and we haven't had any issues with him thankfully. My now-11 year old son is going through these rough years right now, but in a different way than my oldest did. My oldest has a controlling personality and his issues were often that he wasn't in control. My 11 year old is super emotional and dramatic already and cries and gets upset all the time. He's not defiant or disrespectful, but gets so easily upset with my 13 year old, who is who he is best buds with. So he cries because of my 13 year old but still wants to hang out with him. It's great. So yah, they're all different. I have two girls who are 8 and 7 that we'll see how it goes with them in a few years. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaichiki Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 13-16 was the most challenging for mine. SOOOO happy he's coming out the other side now! Hoping ds#2 will be easier! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaichiki Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 For dd I think it was 12... She's WONDERFUL now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theelfqueen Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 My 11 year old had a terrible melt down yesterday... then my 15 year old helpfully gave me "parenting advice" basically outlining all the ways he perceives me to be awful.. and between the two of them I retreated to my room crying.... so it was not awesome. Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori D. Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Mine is almost 12 and life with him is finally really very pleasant. That being said, his first 8-9 years of life were so, so tough. He was such a challenge as a toddler and a young child. I'm hoping that this carries through his teenage years; I've heard when they're easy early on they're tough later and vice versa. Who knows, I really think each child is an individual. Regardless, I'm enjoying this season! Another "odd man out here". Similar experience as ~Phoenix -- for very different reasons, the first 9 years for both DSs were so, so tough, that everything afterwards felt like a piece of cake and delightful. So very grateful -- we still have a super good relationship with our young 20s adult men. :) Sorry you're all experiencing a difficult time! They do turn a corner (different age for different children), and come out as pretty neat people, if you don't kill them first (lol). BEST of luck to all in surviving this stage with grace! Warmly, Lori D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForeverFamily Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I don't have a son that age yet. But my oldest daughter just turned 11, and the last few months, wow! It's like someone suddenly turned on the hormone switch. I can see I will be in for a wild ride. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 I know this is a bit old but I am coming on here for moral support. My 11.5 year old has hit the weepy/indecision phase. He never knows what he wants to eat but he is starving. School has been so hard this year and he is normally my compliant child. There is rarely a morning without tears. I am trying to get him enough sleep and enough to eat. He will not nap. I wish he would. How long exactly does this phase last? LOL. Other than nap-shower-sandwich, I am not sure what to do. I know SWB suggested pulling them aside later to talk about what triggered the emotional outburst after they have had time to calm down. Most of the time I know what it is but I don't know how to mitigate it. I can't remove math or his brother from our lives. Anyone have experience with this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 For the most part, my boys are delightful... but they are struggling at this age, yeah. The other day they jumped on and broke the futon. It's not completely broken, but one of the slats went completely kaput. They were like, why did we do that, I don't know why we did that, it seemed fun at the time, but it was obviously stupid. I feel like that was completely emblematic of this age. Kids who would have known better a year or two ago briefly losing the ability to use common sense. This has been my experience with ds. It's not so much that he's difficult, just....that his brain is slightly foggy. Dare I say addled? He's a cool guy otherwise and super helpful. I have just learned to make allowances for the times he completely forgets everything he otherwise knows. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Yes! Though for us, it was more 9-11 and starting to get better at 11-12. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insertcreativenamehere Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Oh my yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theelfqueen Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 My go to technique is "let's talk a walk. " Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 I know this is a bit old but I am coming on here for moral support. My 11.5 year old has hit the weepy/indecision phase. He never knows what he wants to eat but he is starving. School has been so hard this year and he is normally my compliant child. There is rarely a morning without tears. I am trying to get him enough sleep and enough to eat. He will not nap. I wish he would. How long exactly does this phase last? LOL. Other than nap-shower-sandwich, I am not sure what to do. I know SWB suggested pulling them aside later to talk about what triggered the emotional outburst after they have had time to calm down. Most of the time I know what it is but I don't know how to mitigate it. I can't remove math or his brother from our lives. Anyone have experience with this? This was the thread I got good advice on last year (or, the year before, I guess). http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/541789-youre-being-a-pill/ It's just a hard age, I think. I've been trying to make allowances. Things are both better and worse now. Kiddo is still a pill and in some ways is much worse - more grouchy and opinionated and unfair to the rest of us. But then when he comes out of it, he's more self-aware. And sometimes even self-aware in the moment saying things like, "I don't even know why I'm mad!" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 boys? I think it is a difficult age for humans, lol. I have 2 boys and that is the beginning (for us) of the argumentative, hormonal foggy brained, always hungry, always sleepy, doesn't want to do anything parents deem productive years...but I don't seem to have a different time than my friends with daughters. We frequently commiserate. I try to remind myself that it's hard for us as parents and it's just as difficult for them as growing people. Growing up is full of challenges. Oh, and sometimes I feel badly for my younger boy...imagine being stuck home at age 12 when your mom is also going through her own changes..that make her foggy brained, quick to snap, always tired etc, etc. I bet my kid could write his own post about my pain in the butt-ness these days. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 This was the thread I got good advice on last year (or, the year before, I guess). http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/541789-youre-being-a-pill/ It's just a hard age, I think. I've been trying to make allowances. Things are both better and worse now. Kiddo is still a pill and in some ways is much worse - more grouchy and opinionated and unfair to the rest of us. But then when he comes out of it, he's more self-aware. And sometimes even self-aware in the moment saying things like, "I don't even know why I'm mad!" i forgot about this thread! Off to read it again. Thanks. My two seemed to be tag teaming today. By the time my oldest started to break out of his funk, the younger one started to take over. I am so exhausted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 i forgot about this thread! Off to read it again. Thanks. My two seemed to be tag teaming today. By the time my oldest started to break out of his funk, the younger one started to take over. I am so exhausted. Mine always tag team. And because they're identical twins, they have creepy mind reading powers and are really good at it. Okay, maybe that's not true, but sometimes, I'm telling ya... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Yes! Though for us, it was more 9-11 and starting to get better at 11-12. I hope so. ds9 has been weepy and erratic for at least 6 months. The idea of ds7 getting harder makes me want to sit in a corner,rock and suck my thumb - he is only just starting to become bearable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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