Long time friends

[Night Elf]

Do you have friends from your school years? I graduated high school early and couldn't wait to get out of there. I just didn't have a close relationship with anyone so I stopped talking to my peers when I got a full time job. Then I went to college, but I was married so I didn't live on campus. I met peers in classes that studied with me but we never talked after the end of the semester. I did return to school when I was about 41 or 42 and met a nice young lady in my set of classes that semester. We became facebook friends and I get to see her updates like when she got married and her first baby. She dropped out of school the semester after I did. We don't talk on facebook though. Do you still have long time friends?

[Pawz4me]

I have three long time friends. One I've known since first grade and the other two since high school. We get together for lunch every month or two and e-mail with each other regularly.

[QueenCat]

Yes, I grew up in one place, not leaving until college so I went to school with some of the same kids from Kind through high school. A few of them even went to my college, 2 1/2 hours away. I do see a couple of high school friends every few years. One of my close college friends lives near my parents and I see her about once a year. I keep up with many of them via email and Facebook.

[OneStepAtATime]

Yes.  I have a couple of friends I am still in contact with from elementary.  Until recently I was still in contact with two High School friends (although we lost touch in the last couple of years).  And my college friends and I are still definitely in contact.  I lost one of my friends recently.  He knew he was dying (brain cancer).  A close group of us went to spend a weekend with him while he was still able to be with us.  It was a wonderful weekend and our spouses/children were supportive of us being away from home because they know how close this group is.  Quite a few of us came to the Life Celebration that was thrown in his honor a few months after he passed away even though it meant traveling quite a distance for many of us.

 

I do have adult friends that never made close friendships with anyone in High School or College.  I think part of it is circumstances of a particular school, circumstances of scheduling, personalities, etc.  Sometimes things line up just right and sometimes they don't.

 

I have met a lot of people as an adult and many I have considered friends but for some reason I have not been able to keep the same bonds as my friends in school.  They are just seasonal friends and when we don't see each other regularly due to outside influences the friendship usually ends.

[J-rap]

I do, but my situation was different.  I grew up in a smallish city, and had the same friends from nursery school through my senior year in high school.  We grew up together and did everything together.  Also, my town had a community college which most kids attended for two years while living at home, before transferring somewhere else in their junior year. So, most of my childhood friends even ended up going to community college together too.  I live on the other side of the country now from most of them, but many of us keep in good touch, and several of us still see each other about once/year.  Last year I happened to be in a city in another state where a childhood friend of mine lived that I hadn't seen for over 30 years.  I surprised him at his office, and it was like no time had passed at all.  We were so happy to see each other.  

 

I don't have those same long-term friendships from the 4-year college I transferred to, except my husband.  :)

 

 

[Amira]

I'm on Facebook with a couple of high school friends.  We talk a little but mostly just do the Happy Birthday thing.  

I keep in touch with most of the people I studied Arabic with in the Middle East during college.  We really don't talk much either, but if we're ever in the same country (or part of the country, if it's the US), we try to get together. And most of us are on Facebook.  I consider them good friends and even though I don't see them much, it's so wonderful when we can be together.  They're my only college friends.

 

 

[lllll]

nm

Edited December 12, 2016 by ..Kathy..

[Jean in Newcastle]

My longest term friend has been my close friend for 42 years.  I have other friends that I've known for as long but we aren't as close. 

 

I have other friends that have I've known for over 30 years.

 

And of course there are other friends with varying lengths of friendship depending on when we met.  All of these friends are people who I find myself talking to as if we had seen each other yesterday even if I haven't seen them for months or in some cases a year.  Our bonds are close even if we don't necessarily share the everyday experiences with each other.  (Our busy schedules usually keep us from seeing each other too frequently and in some cases, physical distance makes a difference even with all the communication tools available today.) 

[Angie in VA]

I lost touch w/ most of my high school friends, and I blame myself for that. Recently we have reunited and text/email/call pretty often. It's just a handful of us and we've gone in so many different directions, but my love for these friends runs deep. They are true blue.  :001_wub:

 

Ironically, the people I come in contact most in my community who look like me on paper? Not so much of a bond there. Odd, but true. 

 

[Lady Florida.]

I have three high school friends I keep in touch with. High school for me was over 40 years ago, so defintiely long time friends. We all live in the general area (two of us in the same town) and get together a few times a year. I have another friend I've known for 30 years - we were roommates and in each others' weddings. We keep in touch though she lives on the other side of the state now. We also try to get together a few times a year.

 

My closest friends currently are from the homeschool community and we've known each other for as long as 12 years and as little as 5 years. 

Edited November 16, 2016 by Lady Florida.

[Lanny]

I have a friend that I have known since I was 12 or 13 years old. I knew his parents (both have passed away), his 3 sisters (2 passed away) and one of his grandmothers.  They'd  moved to Las Vegas, so I started going there alone when I was about 14, to stay with them for a week or 2.    I had another friend that I'd worked with in Reno, when I was about 19 pr 20, but he passed away last year.   I have one High School buddy who is my friend on Facebook. We did some Skype calls a few years ago  I'm sure we voted for different presidential candidates, but our friendship is more important than our political beliefs.  I had been in contact with one other friend from High School, but lost track of him several years ago.  

[JustEm]

My 2 closest friends currently have been my closest friends since freshman year of college. I have one friend from middle school through college who I no longer talk to or see but if either of us needed the other we would be their for one another in a heartbeat. Our lives just don't cross enough to remain close the way we did before, which is fine by me.

 

Other than that, no but that is mostly because I've always leaned on my siblings for friendship. I am close with all of them and have always been so I've rarely needed or wanted to seek long-term friendships from non family members.

[MooCow]

Yes. My best friend and I have been besties since we were five years old.

 

We had a lot of the same friends growing up. I have two that I still keep up with and she has a bazillion.......

[scrapbookbuzz]

I do have some long time friends. A few from grade school, one from high school, one or two from college, and two from the Army.

Some I've only been able to reconnect with BECAUSE OF Facebook.

 

I think as adults it becomes more difficult to make and maintain friendships because so much of our focus is on family and/or our jobs. However, we all NEED friends so I hope you are able to find one or two you 'click' with. B-)

[Bluegoat]

I have contact with a few people from elementary/middle/igh school on FB, but I don't hang out with any of them.  There are a few I might if we had more natural contact, but things have sent us in different directions, so we've never really established a significant adult relationship.  Usually it's living in different places, but also some lifestyle things that might not matter as much now as when we were younger.  I think that chance to build a relationship as an adult is what makes the difference.

 

I do have friends from university.  In particularly though not always with people I was roommates with.  Those have survived even long periods of living far away from each other.

 

What I've noticed is that to create a significant  friendship really requires seeing people to be able to see each other regularly, and in a context where there is room for pretty personal/meaningful discussions or interactions.  And those have to happen over a period of time - a short time isn't enough.

 

If meeting up requires much effort before that level of intimacy happens, the relationship seems to never get off its feet.  So - my closest friends are people I saw regularly, had time to get to know personally and did meaningful things together, and so on, as an adult.  A lot were people I lived and studied with daily or lived with in university.  A lot of the others are people I see very regularly from my church.  And then there are a few I worked with or met through friends on a regular basis.  When I was in the army, there was enough living/working together to create some stronger ties as well.

 

As an adult past university age, I've found there aren't many places that really provide the right conditions to make developing that easy. 

[Arcadia]

I have friends all the way from preK due to alumni associations. My catholic preschool feeds into the catholic elementary school so same alumni associations. My cohort was also affected by the Asian financial crisis in 1997 as I'm from Asia so we commiserate together.

 

Group chat on Facebook, Whatsapp, WeChat does help since we are all over the globe.

[UCF612]

I have one friend who I have known literally my entire life, our moms were pregnant together.  We still get together with our families though we live an hour and a half apart (just far enough to not see each a lot but close enough that we can get together somewhat regularly).  I'm still in touch with others from my school years but mainly thanks to FB.  Otherwise I wouldn't be in contact with them.  I do regularly text with my college roommate and we get together once a year at most but I still consider her a very good friend.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have some good friends from this forum that I have  never met. face to face  But we've PM'd and texted and talked on the phone.  We talk about a lot of very significant and intimate things.  Quite often these friendships go deep very quickly and have lasted through some tough times because we've been willing to be honest with each other and to give each other grace at the same time. 

[lynn]

I have an elementary school friend and 2high school friends I keep up with regularly.

[purplejackmama]

Yes lots of them.

[Southern Ivy]

I went to a school that was connected to my church. The majority of us knew each other from birth. We still see each other some and the majority of us keep up via Facebook and Instagram, however I am only really close with one and getting reacquainted with another. 

I don't have friends from college. 

[Raifta]

Best friend from kindergarten (39 years ago) and I are still best friends even though we haven't lived in the same city for almost 20 years.  My kids and I went and stayed with him and his partner and son this summer for a week and a half and he regularly comes here since his family is all still here.  We keep in touch by email/phone/FB throughout the rest of the year.

 

Two really good friends since junior high (33 years ago) still live in the same city and we see each other pretty often - now that we all knit, it's nice to get together and knit and chat and drink wine.  

 

And my other best friend I met in university 20 years ago and we still see each other 2 to 3 times a week.  We went into the same graduate program from our undergrad programs, went to Europe for 4 months (on my 'honeymoon' - I had just gotten married) taking a grad course we designed and have lived within a couple of blocks from each other ever since.  We also then worked in the same department at the university for a decade, even shared an office for a large part of that.  Now we see each other for running and coffee and to do other random fun stuff like going to the art gallery or taking the kids to the museum.

 

I feel pretty lucky to have had so many long standing friendships that have survived and to be able to see almost all of them on a regular basis still.

[fraidycat]

Yeah,I have 1 from jr.high, 1 from high school that I speak with regularly, and a couple other high school friends that I speak to sporadically, but at least once or twice per year.

 

Sometimes we lose touch longer, but we get back in touch again.

 

I don't have facebook. So it's phone calls, texts, and occasional in person visits when we're in the same country.

[KrissiK]

I do. My BFF from high school. We met freshman year in band (34 years ago) and we still iMessage every day. She's also my homeschool convention buddy. There are a few others around who I new in high school and even before that, but she's the one I'm closest to.

Edited November 16, 2016 by KrissiK

[littlebug42]

I am facebook friends with many people that I went to high school with but it doesn't really go any farther than that.   I have college friends that are extremely important to me, one of whom is still my best friend.  I have been friends with these people for almost 30 years.  I love them like my family.  We are spread out all over the country now and I wish we could see/speak more often but the separation does not diminish the connection. 

[Farrar]

I'm friends with several high school friends. One of them had her first son about a year before my boys were born. They think of her kids like faux cousins. We all get together sometimes. We managed to get all of us and all the kids together this summer for a day and had a great time. Two of the others have similar jobs at the same institution, live only a few minutes from each other, got married and had their kids pretty much on the same schedule - their boys are on the same soccer team. It's cute. And I'm friendly with some other people I knew in high school. One guy lives in my neighborhood now. We cross paths occasionally. Others I see once in a blue moon, but are on my Facebook feed and I like keeping up with them.

 

I have fewer college friends. That's the place I was ready to get out of. Graduated in three to do so. But I do have one friend I see when she comes to town. And several people are on my Facebook.

[Guest]

I'm no longer close with any of my high school or younger friends, but I am casually connected with a couple on FB. My farthest-back friend that I still get together with is a woman I worked with when I was 20. But even so, we don't get together but once a year or two.

 

I'm not the best connector. I don't like calling people and if a person is no longer located where I will see them incidentally, we usually drift.

[The Girls' Mom]

I have one friend I've known since early elementary school.  We remained friends through high school, even through me attending several different schools.  When we were in the 10th grade, she was dating a guy and wanted me to go out on a double date with her.  Her boyfriend set me up on a blind date with a guy he worked with.  That guy was my husband...we've been together since our first date.  She married that guy, and I married mine.  We moved away, and have lived in several different states, but always kept in touch.  Now we keep in touch on FB, and visit one another once every few years.  (we went to her oldest dd's wedding, and they came to our 4th party).  I figure after being friends for 35 years, we will probably always try to stay in contact.  There is another friend that was in our little group that we still are friends with on FB, but don't see IRL.  

 

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I wish we could see/speak more often but the separation does not diminish the connection. 

 

Exactly! 

[Ottakee]

One of my closest friends now I knew very casually as a younger child but we lost touch for 17 years or so and then reconnected with our foster care/adoption journeys but were just very casual friends for another 15 or so years until the past 2 years when we have become much closer......what lead to us becoming closer is being able to spend an hour or so 3-5 days a week walking.  That distraction free time together on a regular basis really deepened our friendship.  Sadly though she moved 2 hours north in August and in 2 weeks will be done commuting down here to work 2 days a week (we still walk on her lunch break) so I am afraid we won't be as close as we have been.

 

Otherwise I have a few good friends that I could call on at any time for anything from my teen years at church and a few now adult friends I have made in the past 10 years.

[KatieJ]

Yes I have friends going back to kindergarten. 4 0f us kindergarten and grade school friends met guys in high school who were also friends from grade school and we all 4 couples got married. Actually 5 couples, but I am not as close to the 5th couple.

Hubby and I met in kindergarten.

[Tap]

I don't have friends from my youth.  We traveled for 6 years from ages 10-16, so I don't really have friends from before that.  My two high school/college friends, got involved in drugs and I stopped hanging out with them.

 

I have two friends as an adult.  One is a home school mom, that I met about 12 years ago.  We meet up for dinner about 2 or 3 times per year.  I wouldn't call her on the phone to chat, but we have quite a bit in common so we have a lot to chat about. The other one is a pharmacist I used to work with.  We do the same and have dinner a couple of times a year.  We are from the same hometown, and since we know some of the same people we can keep a conversation going.

 

I don't have a buddy, so to speak.  I don't have someone t laugh or cry with.  I don't have someone to go shopping or to a movie with.  For now, dd18 is my buddy but I know she will be moving on in life soon, so it will be really hard for when when she goes.

[regentrude]

I have one dear friend with whom I have been friends since 4th grade. Our friendship endures, despite many moves and an ocean between us. When we see each other, it's like there has never been any time in between- we pick up right where we start.

I have several friends form college, too.

[Joules]

No, I only have a few close friendships, all homeschoolers that I met because of ds's groups.  I've known them between 8 and 16 years (ds is 19yo).

[Joules]

 

I don't have a buddy, so to speak.  I don't have someone t laugh or cry with.  I don't have someone to go shopping or to a movie with.  For now, dd18 is my buddy but I know she will be moving on in life soon, so it will be really hard for when when she goes.

:grouphug: , I get that, now that we are all former homeschoolers, we have to work to see each other on occasion.  Everyone has moved on with their lives, just like after graduating from college.  Ds was my best bud, too.  Fortunately we still keep in touch each day and he comes home most weekends, but I know that won't last forever so I'm trying to keep up with the few friends I do have, but I can't imagine just calling someone up to go shopping or to a movie with, I haven't had that since my mom died 4 years ago.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thanks to this thread, I called one of my college roommates to chat last night. She's been on my mind lately and this thread gave me the impetus to call her. I've known her for 35 years. She's one of my friends who call each other "sisters". Her kids all call me "aunt " even now that they are adults.

 

 

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