Anyone else haven't slept in a year? Sympathy, please. :(

[Peplophoros]

One of those days where I'm just about to give up hope of ever being well-rested again.   Toddler has been waking up pretty much every night for the past 9-10 months and staying up for 3-4 hours, usually from 1 until 4 or 5:00 a.m. 

 

He's always been in a crib, has always gone to sleep in a darkened room with noise maker just fine, but wakes up and stays up almost every night.  Nap is once a day, from 1-2 hours (depending on how miserable the night before was).  

 

Stopping breastfeeding worked really well for about 3 weeks, then back to his old tricks.  

 

Not looking for sleep advice per se, just give me some hope.  I feel like my homeschool has fallen apart because of this, not to mention my workout routine and my general happiness.  This is my 5th child and I'm just as lost with him as I was with my first.  

 

Desperate for some sympathy.

 

 

[DawnM]

You have my sympathy.  My oldest didn't sleep through the night until he was 4 years old.  My second child is a sleeper and slept through the night at 6 weeks.  He is 2 years younger than the oldest.  So, I had an infant sleeping just fine and a toddler waking up around 2am and not sleeping for hours.

 

I was working full time at the time too.  I was a walking zombie for a long time.

 

DOn't have any solutions, but def. you have my sympathy.

[Spryte]

Sympathy here, from another walking zombie.

[SKL]

I'm sorry.  I haven't had this problem, but I have a friend who told me her child has never slept the night.  They co-sleep.  Her child was 7yo when she told me this.  I believe I would be dead if that happened to me.  Especially since her day job is teaching children with severe behavior disorders.

 

I hope you find a solution soon.

[Mom25girls]

No more toddlers here but sleep deprived from a new puppy. Starting the sixth week of a four hour block and then every hour to hour and a half. Sympathy here. I had many sleepless months and at 52, I'm far too old to do it again I fear. Sending a hug and a virtual latte. 

[AK_Mom4]

I'm so sorry. Kid #3 here didn't sleep thru the night until he was nearly four. It was terrible. We finally moved him into a toddler mattress in our room so he wouldn't cry at night and wake everyone else up.

 

It does get better. He still has sleep issues but finally got old enough to deal with it himself.

[zoobie]

My oldest did that. I turned on Sesame Street on demand and snuggled in bed with her. She would tap me on the head to wake me when an episode ended, and I'd start another. Usually 2 and she would go back to sleep. It lasted a couple of months. My 3rd has only slept through a handful of times at 3.5, but she just comes in and wakes us all up with a litany of complaints and goes back to sleep with us. I still miss sleeping a solid chunk of time. One day...

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Complete sympathy!  DD didn't sleep for long stretches (meaning anything over 3 hours) until she was 3 1/2.  As an infant she would cat nap for 20 minutes and be awake for hours.  DH was out of town for months at a time so no relief.  I was such a zombie I quite literally forgot my own name and whose kid I was taking care of...twice!  At 15 DD still has sleep issues but can manage on her own most of the time.  She was better able to sleep and to handle not sleeping well on her own as she got older, so hang in there.  Maybe at some point your child will just sleep better overall.  If not, eventually you may be able to train him to listen to audio books on a kindle with noise cancelling headsets (since it is an audio book the reading level of your child is not important, only the appropriateness of the content) instead of waking you up.

[Seasider]

Oh, poor thing! I did not sleep last night and feel awful. I cannot imagine a long stretch of sleepless nights.

[Tap]

DD9 went on sleep meds at age 4 for this.  She would get up several times per night and just wander around the house.  She has Autism Spectrum Disorder, which unfortunately accompanies insomnia. Even now at 9yo, while on 3 sleep meds, she will still get up and come find me and lay down on the floor beside me most nights.  That I am fine with, but when she was younger and getting up several times per night, it was exhausting. 

 

Last year, we decided to try a medication change.  LOL It didn't work.  At 8yo, she got up in the middle of the night, and made me and dh a complete breakfast.  Oatmeal, toast, juice etc.  She set the table and had it all prepared for us to sit down together in the morning. It was interesting to see that she wasn't just tossing and turning, when she woke up, she was wide(!) awake. I found our breakfast at 4am. 

 

She has had 2 nighttime and a daytime sleep study and they all show that only has very mild apnea, but for some reason her brain doesn't sleep in traditional patterns. I guess this is quite common in people on the spectrum and with ADHD.

[PinkTulip]

You have my complete and total sympathy! I had 4 kids within 5 years, and between being pregnant, nursing, and kids not sleeping through the night until they were about 2, I figured I didn't sleep completely through the night for nearly 8 years! It is so, so hard. I remember someone telling me during that time that it would get better in a few years, and thinking that I couldn't do this for months, let alone years.

 

Hang in there mama! I promise that it does get better!

[MegP]

Wow, I am so sorry. Do you mean he is crying in his crib for 4 hours? When you go in to comfort him, he won't stop crying and cries for hours? That sounds so hard. Have you checked with your doctor?

[zoobie]

He may be ready to drop the nap. Mine have before 2. Otherwise they're up partying until 10 unless we have had a really exciting day. I'm so over dealing with sleep crap. Trying to get them to sleep. Trying to keep them awake so they will sleep at another time. So. Done.

[Um_2_4]

I am about to make an appt for DS12 who still doesn't sleep through the night and many times wakes me. He says he'd be happy with a tablet in his room to use if he wakes up, but I am not leaving him to watch videos for 3 hours before falling back to sleep. (And yes it would take 3 hours, we tried it once when I was sick with the flu.) He never slept well as a baby/toddler from day 1 pretty much.

[trulycrabby]

I remember crying from fatigue and frustration because my baby didn't sleep. :grouphug:

[OneStepAtATime]

I am about to make an appt for DS12 who still doesn't sleep through the night and many times wakes me. He says he'd be happy with a tablet in his room to use if he wakes up, but I am not leaving him to watch videos for 3 hours before falling back to sleep. (And yes it would take 3 hours, we tried it once when I was sick with the flu.) He never slept well as a baby/toddler from day 1 pretty much.

Kindle with an audio book and parent controls on?

[Soror]

*Raises Hand

 

My last one slept sooooo very bad, between her not sleeping and my own thyroid/hormone problems I felt like I was going through Gitmo. I nightweaned around 18mo and completely weaned at 2 b/c I couldn't take it anymore and despite the fact that dh worked and I didn't I had him start sleeping with her, I just couldn't take it anymore- I was going crazy. These days I still have difficulty sleeping off/on b/c I still have my own stuff, the baby transitioned to sleeping w/ the big kids between 2-3 and does well with them. She gave up her nap around 2 as well, I finally figured out she slept a whole lot better when she didn't nap so I worked on keeping her busy and stuffing her full of the highest calorie food I could(so she wouldn't be hungry). At a certain point it becomes necessary to do whatever it takes for survival.

[goldberry]

You have my sympathy.  My oldest didn't sleep through the night until he was 4 years old.  My second child is a sleeper and slept through the night at 6 weeks.  

 

Wait...you had another one after that first one?  Bold woman!

 

My first had "colic"... and we were one and done! ;)

[Scarlett]

My Ds went through a spell of waking up every hour when he was about 9 months. This after having slept through the night from 6 weeks. I did a version of cry it out. Dirty words I know but I just couldn't function with no sleep.

 

Speaking of which menapause has done a number on my sleep. I never sleep well anymore. I hate it.

[Eagle]

My oldest woke up SIX times per night EVERY SINGLE NIGHT until he was three and a half. I was a zombie.

 

Then one day (almost in tears) I sat him down and told him that Mummy would be so happy to see him in the morning if he slept the whole way until morning. That we would have special cuddle time and it would be so awesome. He has slept through the night ever since.

 

I know this is pretty unusual, so I'm not suggesting that it will work for others, but I did want to give you hope that terrible sleepers can become excellent sleepers. You will sleep again!

[El...]

:grouphug:

[prairiewindmomma]

BTDT.....these were my kids with ADD, sensory issues, or gut issues. Anything else going on?

 

FWIW, I do sleep at night now...it will happen again for you.

[Wabi Sabi]

I work full-time (plus overtime) on the night shift and homeschool by day. You have my empathy.

[heartlikealion]

Oh no :( How old is your toddler? Mine is 16 months and does not sleep the whole night, but we haven't experienced the 3-4hr awake time. Usually she wants to stay up past midnight, though, so we seldom go anywhere early the next day.

 

I've heard that going out in the sun in the morning helps reset the internal clock, but I don't know if that would help your situation if they are determined to wake up in the middle of the night and stay up. I guess it couldn't hurt to try. I usually mess up our desired bedtime with the baby falling asleep in the car or late in the day.

 

You have my sympathy.

[Spryte]

I am about to make an appt for DS12 who still doesn't sleep through the night and many times wakes me. He says he'd be happy with a tablet in his room to use if he wakes up, but I am not leaving him to watch videos for 3 hours before falling back to sleep. (And yes it would take 3 hours, we tried it once when I was sick with the flu.) He never slept well as a baby/toddler from day 1 pretty much.

Audible. Will he listen to audiobooks? DS12 here has never slept through the night. Melatonin helps but not completely.

 

My favorite gadget we own is Amazon's Echo. We put it in DS's room and he uses the voice controls to navigate Audible. No screens in the night. Fiction keeps him awake but he listens to a lot of non-fiction. It eventually helps him sleep.

 

If you get answers, please share. 12 years and I'm exhausted.

[MercyA]

You have my sympathy! I know how hard sleep deprivation can be.

 

I desperately did NOT want to drop my daughter's nap at 2 years old, but it so improved her nighttime sleeping. You might want to give it a try. We still did a "quiet time" every day for a long time.

 

This too shall pass.  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

ETA: I really should have dropped the nap when she was 18 months or so.

Edited April 4, 2016 by MercyA

[BooksandBoys]

Plenty of sympathy from me!

 

My second child woke every 60-90 minutes for at least an hour of screaming for the first 9 months of his life, then continued to wake multiple times a night until he was 2.5 and still, at almost 5, wakes a few times a week. I had a third baby when DS2 was 2.

 

I sleep through the night 3-4 nights a week now, and I feel nearly human. Hugs!

[Tap]

LOL I was just laughing at the juxtaposition of this thread and right underneath it was on on the "Walking Dead Spoilers"  

Yep, that sounds about right!  LOL

 

 

[Um_2_4]

Audible. Will he listen to audiobooks? DS12 here has never slept through the night. Melatonin helps but not completely.

 

My favorite gadget we own is Amazon's Echo. We put it in DS's room and he uses the voice controls to navigate Audible. No screens in the night. Fiction keeps him awake but he listens to a lot of non-fiction. It eventually helps him sleep.

 

If you get answers, please share. 12 years and I'm exhausted.

 

Oh, I'm not the only one! Sorry you're in the same boat. I will think about the audiobook thing. He has the kindle touch (so no light) and would need a light to read, but if I can put audiobooks on it, that might be an option. He shares a room with DS6, so I can't have a bright light or him getting up and down a lot. He usually visits the bathroom several times/night. That wakes DH too, which is bad since DH wakes at 4am to go to work.

I was going to try lavender sachet in his pillow to help him sleep. 

I am also going to look into maybe reflux issues.

[Spryte]

Oh, I'm not the only one! Sorry you're in the same boat. I will think about the audiobook thing. He has the kindle touch (so no light) and would need a light to read, but if I can put audiobooks on it, that might be an option. He shares a room with DS6, so I can't have a bright light or him getting up and down a lot. He usually visits the bathroom several times/night. That wakes DH too, which is bad since DH wakes at 4am to go to work.

I was going to try lavender sachet in his pillow to help him sleep.

I am also going to look into maybe reflux issues.

Yes! Reflux. That was part of it here. That was triggering nightly mild asthma attacks. Getting the reflux treated helped tremendously. We went from hours awake each night to shorter stints. Definitely look into that.

[heartlikealion]

Audible. Will he listen to audiobooks? DS12 here has never slept through the night. Melatonin helps but not completely.

 

My favorite gadget we own is Amazon's Echo. We put it in DS's room and he uses the voice controls to navigate Audible. No screens in the night. Fiction keeps him awake but he listens to a lot of non-fiction. It eventually helps him sleep.

 

If you get answers, please share. 12 years and I'm exhausted.

 

I was just wondering today if Audible worked on the Echo. I know that the Echo can read my other kindle title (not an audible purchase) but it does it in the weird robotic voice. I'll have to try this out. I wonder if it still works when your audible account is paused.

 

[mamaofgirls]

My children dont take naps regularly after they turn two... or they wake up! I would much rather deal with a crabby crying kid for the second half of the day then being up half the night :) Have you tried cutting out the nap?

[MommaOfalotta]

If it makes you feel any better... I haven't slept through the night in 3 1/2 years. Ds wakes up multiple times a night.. every night. He hasn't napped since he was 2. We tried cutting naps but it didn't change anything except make it so that he can NOT take a nap now. We've tried everything and nothing has helped so no advice.. but I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone!

 

Sometimes it helps to think this is just a season of life. One day all too soon he will be all grown up and I'm sure I will miss this. Sometimes that helps. ​Sometimes.

[Spryte]

I was just wondering today if Audible worked on the Echo. I know that the Echo can read my other kindle title (not an audible purchase) but it does it in the weird robotic voice. I'll have to try this out. I wonder if it still works when your audible account is paused.

 

Yes, I think it does. When we've paused our audible account we've still had access to books. But you might want to verify.

 

Audible is the best part of Echo. :) ...and Pandora. Love it.

[Tsuga]

I'm glad you aren't looking for solutions or advice because I have none.

 

I survived. It was extremely difficult. Yes, everything kind of felt like it was falling apart most of the time.  :grouphug:  I only had two. Huge sympathy to you.

[Mandamom]

Yep. BTDT and she's now almost 16 years old. We went through that stage for about a year and a half and eventually she started to grow out of it. 

 

So, yes, it will get better. I can't promise you when but it will. 

 

[eternalsummer]

We also lose the nap at around 2.  I haven't had many who want to stay up for hours at night, and certainly not for a 9-10 month stretch - that sounds hard! Around baby number 4, I think, I remember thinking how jealous I was of DH, who can count on 8-9 (sometimes 12-13!) uninterrupted hours of sleep at least a few times a week.  At that point I hadn't slept for more than 4 hours at a time in 7 years, and I think that was when I realized that until my last baby was sleeping in his/her own bed, likely when I was 40 or 45, would I get that long space of sleep again.   That was kind of depressing, but remarkably I've sort of become accustomed to it, and it doesn't make me draggy like it used to.  

 

I have had some success with a few tricks, which you may or may not be able to replicate: we cosleep; DH's sleep schedule is variable enough that if I really needed just 2 nights where he stayed up with the kid while I slept through, we could manage it; Totoro or Cars (favorites here) on repeat while I sleep/doze on the couch; dropping the nap; sleeping in for a few hours after everyone else wakes up while DH manages the morning things (we both work from home).  The cosleeping in particular made a huge difference with DD10 when she was 6 months old (that's when we started) - I was in school, working part time, she was our first, I was 21, it just seemed like everything was So Hard - and then one day I took her into bed with us and everyone slept more or less all night and that was it; I haven't owned a crib since then.

[lovinmyboys]

I will tell you what I did with my 3rd toddler. We put him on a mattress on the floor in his own room, gated him in with a gate he couldn't climb (which took awhile to find), put a night light in there with books and a couple of toys. He woke up a lot in the night. I would go check on him and then go back to bed. He would play for a couple of hours then cry. I would go back in and tuck him in and he would go back to sleep. So, I did get up in the middle of the night, but I didn't stay up with him for hours while he played.

 

He is now 6 and usually sleeps thru the night. Occasionally I will hear him turn on an audiobook around 2 in the morning.

 

I assume you have tried co sleeping?

 

Sleep deprivation is awful.

[Rosie_0801]

You have my sympathy too.

 

Mostly all I remember about that period of life is not remembering it.

[Janeway]

((((hugs))) Sort of there. Not completely but..I have a baby who will not sleep at night if he sleeps at all in the evening. Ummm..he is asleep right now. I have such a bad cold! Ouch! My preschooler won't go to sleep until after midnight and then my kindergartener is up by 6am, definitely never later than 7am. BOTH children will come in to my room and loudly announce they are awake, even if the baby is asleep in here.

[HRAAB]

You have all my sympathy. I have twins that were never on the same schedule; one would go to sleep, the other would wake up. I literally do not remember much from the first two years of their lives. Dh will talk about things we did, and I have no memory of it. Several years are just a fog.

 

I'm not sleeping now but for different reasons. I did have a good 9 or 10 years in between.

Edited April 5, 2016 by Ishki

[Um_2_4]

You have all my sympathy. I have twins that were never on the same schedule; one would go to sleep, the other would wake up. I literally do not remember much from the first two years of their lives. Dh will talk about things we did, and I have no memory of it. Several years are just a fog.

 

I'm not sleeping now but for different reasons. I did have a good 9 or 10 years in between.

 

Smh! I don't remember at least the 1st 2 years of the twins lives. If it weren't for pics and videos I would have nada! As my DH says twins are not twice the work they are exponentially more work and exponentially less sleep!

[Garga]

I'm friends IRL with a boardie here, and she was just telling me on Friday night that one night (in the middle of being awakened yet again), she calculated that it had been a full 5,000 nights since she'd last slept through a night uninterrupted.

 

My first son slept in 1 hour increments between feedings at night, so I only slept for 45 minutes at a time for a year and 4 months. For my second son, it was the normal interruptions--a few times a night at first and then tapering off after about half a year or so.

Edited April 5, 2016 by Garga

[BarbecueMom]

I've become an incredibly light sleeper. Between the eczema-scratching toddler, the snoring cat, and the air leaking out of DH's CPAP mask when he moves around (or the cat literally trying to suffocate him by crimping the hose on nights where she doesn't get what she wants to eat), I can't remember my last night of sleep without waking up several times.

 

Oh, and I have pretty gnarly reflux. Sometimes I go sit in the bathroom in the middle of the night for an hour or so because I'm too nauseous to even partially lay down.

 

I was so looking forward to sleeping when the kids are bigger, but they're actually not the worst culprit anymore. :-(

[Shellydon]

Hugs.  None of mine slept through the night until they turned 2.  Between 4 babies and pregnancy insomnia I did not sleep through the night for 10 years. I was often up 6 or more times a night.  It stinks big time.  Things that helped some *some*.  1) Chewable pepcid an hour before bed for kiddo. 2) White noise machine 3) teaching them to go to sleep without help.   None of these stopped the waking completely, but it helped some.