AimeeM Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 My mom, niece, and nephews called to wish me a happy birthday. My 8 year old niece got on the phone and I asked her what was on her Christmas list (trying to get ideas early). I was thinking about trying to get her an AG doll (I gave her some of DD's old AG books last time she came to visit). She said a tablet... and her daddy :( Her dad is in jail for trying to kill her mom (my sister), and the children, or at least in front of the children. He will be going to/transferred to prison soon. To top it all off, they are about to lose their house and probably move in with my mom. I feel so sad for her. For all of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 That is sad. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 The poor girl. Glad she and your sister have lots of family support. So sad that they have to suffer many more losses in addition to the crime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: That's awful. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Oh, that is sad. Poor girl. I hope she knows it's ok to still love someone who did something very wrong. Or conversely, to stop loving someone even if they're related to you.... Such a tough thing to go through :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 that is very sad. Poor thing... what a terrible thing to have to carry around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I am so sorry. That would break my heart into a billion pieces. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 ((((Hugs)))) That is so sad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Yes. You can be sad. I am so sorry. (((Aimee))) (((Aimee's sister))) (((Aimee's nieces and nephews))) Mercy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ddcrook Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I'm so sorry. Hugs all the way around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted October 17, 2014 Author Share Posted October 17, 2014 I know. I can't do anything for her and it kills me. As much as it hurts to say it, I think losing the house is for the best, long-term. So many bad memories. On top of that, my sister has struggled to keep up with it, financially, for so long and it has taken such a toll on her emotionally. Staying with my mom will allow her to set aside money more easily, and in a supportive environment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAmomof4 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 May God bless them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 How heartbreaking :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 How awful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenrae Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Ohhhh....so sorry your sister and neice are going through this. What a sad situation to be in! I hope the future tturns around for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Oh, my goodness - I am SOOO sorry to hear this. Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Hugs and prayers for your Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Oh how heartbreaking! Sending healing thoughts to your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: That poor baby. Please tell me they're all in some sort of therapy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Hugs! That would break my heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 So hard to see those we love in pain, esp little ones. ((Aimee)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 (Hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 I am so sorry your sister and her children are going through something so horrific. And hugs to you. Yes, of course you can be sad for a moment. For several moments. As long as you need. Best wishes. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 I am so sorry!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 That's heartbreaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Oh, that is so sad. :( I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 How sad. Hugs to all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 I am so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 awe, that is sad! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 So very sad. Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 My mom, niece, and nephews called to wish me a happy birthday. My 8 year old niece got on the phone and I asked her what was on her Christmas list (trying to get ideas early). I was thinking about trying to get her an AG doll (I gave her some of DD's old AG books last time she came to visit). She said a tablet... and her daddy :( Her dad is in jail for trying to kill her mom (my sister), and the children, or at least in front of the children. He will be going to/transferred to prison soon. To top it all off, they are about to lose their house and probably move in with my mom. I feel so sad for her. For all of them. Oh my...talk about some childhood memories. Are the kids in counseling? Mom could most likely benefit too. Big Hugs. At least you know your sis is safe now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted October 18, 2014 Author Share Posted October 18, 2014 Oh my...talk about some childhood memories. Are the kids in counseling? Mom could most likely benefit too. Big Hugs. At least you know your sis is safe now. Mom hasn't the time. She's working more than full time just to try to keep a roof over their heads. She's resisting the gentle prodding to contact the DV center for help (they have resources to help her, both with counseling and financially). She is only just now considering counseling for the children, I think. I know it's fairly common for a woman in her position, but still hard for me to understand (I would never say that to her, though) - she still loves him and is hoping he will get out of this somehow, I think :( I'm pretty sure she's only considering counseling because Niece's emotional state is spilling over into school and I think the school may be pushing for it (the counseling). I'm not sure, though. Don't get me wrong - she's a great mother... she's just still pretty emotionally dependent on BIL, regardless of what has happened, and is having a hard time distancing herself (and the children). I'm not sure how to talk to her about it, what to say, or what to do right now. DH will not help her financially any more (and as hard as it is, I agree with him), as she apparently used some of the cash assistance we've given to send to her husband in jail, or to bail him out of other things (this wasn't the first incident). DH will send her food and things like that DIRECTLY, and will buy things directly for the children, but... Well, I'm rambling. I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Aimee, it's a great idea to send food and gifts. I think the behavior she displays is quite common - even in the face of such harrowing evidence that he needs to be locked up. If drugs or alcohol were part of it, she may be thinking he is a wonderful guy when he is sober, or not depressed, or taking his meds, etc. Any excuse is a good excuse. Her whole life has turned upside down. Encourage her to go to counseling if you can. Gentle but smart support is what your dh and you are offering already - blessings to all of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 That breaks my heart. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted October 19, 2014 Author Share Posted October 19, 2014 Aimee, it's a great idea to send food and gifts. I think the behavior she displays is quite common - even in the face of such harrowing evidence that he needs to be locked up. If drugs or alcohol were part of it, she may be thinking he is a wonderful guy when he is sober, or not depressed, or taking his meds, etc. Any excuse is a good excuse. Her whole life has turned upside down. Encourage her to go to counseling if you can. Gentle but smart support is what your dh and you are offering already - blessings to all of you! Drugs, alcohol, and mental illness (the drugs and alcohol seemingly an attempt to self medicate the mental illness, even though he had a psychiatrist, court ordered counseling, and medications available to him - he didn't always like taking the medications). He wasn't a good guy when sober, but many years ago, before the mental illness and substance abuse surfaced, he WAS a good guy - I can attest to that, so I do see why she struggles. He was a kind, considerate man who would have given anybody the shirt off his back - playful, a loving partner, and a good father. Shortly before they married, things started going downhill quickly, but for many years prior, when they were dating, he was a very "steady" guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Drugs, alcohol, and mental illness (the drugs and alcohol seemingly an attempt to self medicate the mental illness, even though he had a psychiatrist, court ordered counseling, and medications available to him - he didn't always like taking the medications). He wasn't a good guy when sober, but many years ago, before the mental illness and substance abuse surfaced, he WAS a good guy - I can attest to that, so I do see why she struggles. He was a kind, considerate man who would have given anybody the shirt off his back - playful, a loving partner, and a good father. Shortly before they married, things started going downhill quickly, but for many years prior, when they were dating, he was a very "steady" guy. Is it possible he was on his best behavior to win her over, and relaxed & showed her who he really was once he thought he had her? Sounds like she's mourning who she thought he could be, and not who he actually is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted October 20, 2014 Author Share Posted October 20, 2014 Is it possible he was on his best behavior to win her over, and relaxed & showed her who he really was once he thought he had her? Sounds like she's mourning who she thought he could be, and not who he actually is. I don't care the man, but I have to say - I don't think he did so. They dated for years and years before marrying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.