How much would you pay a Day Of wedding coordinator? One who helps your daughter on her wedding day

[unsinkable]

The way you describe your business makes sense to me, and as a sentimental mom, I'd be very swayed by the "enjoy your child's wedding and let me sweat the details" argument.

 

And the practical side of me says that percentage of what you charge as compared to the total cost of the wedding isn't that outrageous. Even with a $20000 wedding, $1000 is only 5%. And is 5% "worth it" to sentimental me? I'd say yes.

 

You need to market to moms like me!

[ebrindam]

Not spending $20K on a wedding doesn't mean you are "economically disadvantaged."

 

The implication seemed to be that homeschooling moms "couldn't" not "wouldn't." It's a choice, of course, to spend however much you can or want to on a wedding. 

[Annie G]

The implication seemed to be that homeschooling moms "couldn't" not "wouldn't." It's a choice, of course, to spend however much you can or want to on a wedding. 

 

I think I was more put off by the idea that the wedding day was going to be filled with stress, disasters, and family arguments.  And that hiring someone to handle those was the the only way to save the day.   A well planned wedding and a reasonable group of adults should be able to pull off a happy event. If they want to hire a coordinator, great! But it rubbed me the wrong way for the OP to make it seem like without a professional coordinator that our weddings will be  stress filled disasters. 

 

I would be angry with the photographer for forgetting to get pics of the bride and her parents.  Every photographer I've seen in action has had a list that HE works from- his own list- and during the consultation asks if there are any special pics the couple wants.  He's a professional and shouldn't need a coordinator to instruct him to get shots of the bride and her parents. 

[unsinkable]

The way you describe your business makes sense to me, and as a sentimental mom, I'd be very swayed by the "enjoy your child's wedding and let me sweat the details" argument.

 

And the practical side of me says that percentage of what you charge as compared to the total cost of the wedding isn't that outrageous. Even with a $20000 wedding, $1000 is only 5%. And is 5% "worth it" to sentimental me? I'd say yes.

 

You need to market to moms like me!

Quoting myself, I'm doing it right. :lol:

 

A looooooong time ago, I started the first postpartum care (doula) business in my area. I remembered that I focused on describing what I'd do so mom could just enjoy her newborn. I got some shock about my hourly fee from some people but for others, (especially the ones who hired me!) the cost didnt phase them at all.

 

Your business is the same idea of letting mom be mom, KWIM?

 

Some of my clients didn't have family to help out or drop off dinners. Or they didnt want their family doing their laundry or running their errands. Same with weddings, I suppose.

[Tap]

It is a budget and personality thing of brides/moms.  Some want to control all the details and would never dream of passing those reigns off to someone else.  Others, just can't afford to.  Others, just don't want to.

 

 

I would visit some bridal shops to get a feeling of what the brides are saying and who else in your community is providing similar services. Show up with a plate of cookies and see what you can learn from others in your business.  Bridal shops can be your very best marketing location and pampering the staff there can go a long way towards getting good jobs and insider details. 

[Seasider]

Very interesting. I work in the industry and have never met a "Day Of Only" coordinator. Events that are high dollar (say weddings in the $80-$100K plus category) often have professional coordinators who have been working with the bridal party for months; that coordinator brings in extra assistants for day-before and day-of execution.

 

Weddings that fall into lower price points (still typically at or above $10K, in the market I work with) may also have wedding coordinators, but more typically rely on the day-of services of the event manager on staff of either the caterer or the event space (often one in the same).

 

Sounds like you have been doing this a while and understand your narrow market, so I'm not sure many of our opinions about your pricing will help you, especially when you are looking at a relatively small increase. Weddings are emotional events, in both planning and execution. Anyone who is prepared to lay out the original amount you stated will not bat an eye at paying the higher cost - if they think they need you and you will make the wedding closer to perfect - they will pay more. If they don't think they need your services or can't afford your minimum, they're not going to hire you at all, so it doesn't really matter if you raise your price.

 

[ETA The wording of your posts leads me to understand you've already been at this for a while; my response is with that in mind.]

[MFG]

Wedding dresses (I'm sure there are many who found one at Goodwill or Great Aunt Sarah handstitched it, kwim) are upwards of $750 - $5,000.

 

There are options for wedding gowns that are neither Goodwill nor $750+. Have you heard of David's Bridal? That is their niche market.

 

Most of what you characterize as "disasters", I would consider unfortunate and unpleasant blips. Best avoided if possible but, oh well, my life goes on.

[KungFuPanda]

If I were paying for a wedding coordinator, I would consider handling the Day Of details to be their grand finale. If I wasn't hiring a coordinator, I can't imagine someone stepping in at the 11th hour and taking over all that juggling. Something would be missed. It seems an all or nothing deal to me. You wouldn't go to the Olympics without your coach! Then again, I've never attended a wedding with a coordinator or a disastrous wedding that cried out for one.

[Seasider]

I don't think it's a local thing, it's more of a budget thing.

 

The last wedding I went to my friend was the MoB, and she was literally running around the WHOLE TIME taking care of things. She did not get to finish one glass of champagne. That is pretty typical of a lot of weddings. So, it makes perfect sense that if you have enough of a budget, paying someone else to do that is a useful service.

 

I've been to other weddings where the bride's friends and family served the food, or the drinks, or did this and that, and basically worked the whole time. They did not really get to enjoy it.

 

OP, in my area it's closer to $500- $1000.

I just want to address this for a moment. Something we tend to forget is that when one has a big event, to which perhaps 100+ guests are invited, one is the HOST/ESS. Heck yeah, that's a job! I'm not saying that families shouldn't enjoy the celebration of their loved one's wedding; however, those hosting tasks are still required. Hosts can fulfill these obligations in many ways based in how much they want to handle themselves versus how much they want to hire others to do on their behalf, budget often being the constraining factor on all fronts (food, garb, flowers, venue, size, entertainment, etc).

 

When I host holiday dinners in my home, there's work. I could cook it all myself, I could ask others to each bring a dish, or I could hire a caterer and never set foot in the kitchen. But there still remains "work" to be done. I am still a hostess and certain responsibilities are inherent in that role. Enjoy it? Certainly. Disregard the needs of my guests? No. I can hand off or hire out the job responsibilities at will, but I am still in the role of hostess.

 

(Ok, off my personal soapbox now.)

 

OP, could you describe your target market a little more clearly? Do you work mostly with brides/moms who cannot or choose not to hire a full-time professional wedding planner? So they may be more cost sensitive than I assumed in my original response?

[momee]

I'm sorry to give that impression, I am giving a lot more written info than I planned to about this, trying to be as clear as I can.

 

With a planner things would be easier on a bride and her family - not necessarily the case that without one it would be a stress filled disaster.  I'm not saying anything like what you've insinuated.  I appreciate your comments though.  Thank you for participating in the thread.

 

Anyhow, Seasider - yes exactly this...

"OP, could you describe your target market a little more clearly? Do you work mostly with brides/moms who cannot or choose not to hire a full-time professional wedding planner? So they may be more cost sensitive than I assumed in my original response?"

 

My target market is a bride who is not in the market for someone to hold their hand with all the pre-wedding details and shopping and picking out of decor.  USUALLY but not always it is a cost decision.  Full on event planners are quite expensive in this area.  WAY higher than my fee.  

 

My target bride is one who probably has help, is confident in her ability to plan/decorate/organize, but does NOT want her mom or her other female friends to be "working" on her day.  She wants them at her side, enjoying being a guest at her wedding, not helpers.  The ones who have helpers (lots of cousins/friends/whatever who don't mind setting up, serving food, working with vendors/whatever) won't hire me because they don't need the help.  Not because they're incompetent but because they are completely capable and have the workforce to handle it. I'm happy for them and wouldn't even want to take on a wedding like that.  I'd be in the way and probably resented anyway, kwim?  (WHY is she here when all of us are doing this?)

 

Wow, I never would have guessed you all would be so interested.  Weddings are a TRIP!  So many emotions, so much money/time has been spent and it is a once in a lifetime (I hope and pray) for my bride.  WHATEVER I have to do to help her that's what I do.  You wouldn't believe some of the stories~

[Chris in VA]

I'm getting an education! My limited experience:

 

At the rehearsal, my husband (pastor) is in charge. At the reception, the dj or band leader announces everyone and prescribes when to cut the cake and when to dance (first dance, dad/bride etc.) since there's music involved. Caterer is in charge of food. They all start when the photographer is done (and we don't do "first look" photos before--the photos are right after the sacrament/ceremony).

 

It's sort of "do the next thing," like curriculum! lol

 

I guess I never thought about the moving parts!

[LucyStoner]

If I were you I would survey my past clients and study my competitors' prices. I would probably price my services at just above the middle of the market if I were doing at least 2 weddings a month and less is this was more sporadic income. I would also make a marketing plan, perhaps using the money from the price increase to advertise on social media and spiff up my website and printed materials. I would call up anyone doing the same thing as you and ask how much and how many weddings they did last month and last year.

 

My gut would be that your market could be fairly price sensitive (if they aren't hiring wedding planners but want a day of coordinator.) But that is hard to say without more information.

[lailasmum]

The weddings I used to work at could seriously have done with something like this. So many ran seriously late and often it was because they were multi venue and no one was really controlling timing beyond the ceremony.  We had a toast master that people could hire but they didn't always, he would run things once they arrived or if they had their whole ceremony and reception in the same place. Else it was down to the bar manager trying his best to get everyone moving whilst not knowing anyone or what was really going on. Running late was pretty normal. 

[M&M]

Most reception halls in my area charge upwards of $70 a plate for weddings. If you want really fancy we are talking $125/ person. I've been shocked elaborate weddings we've attended lately. Most places have a reception coordinator.

 

I would've liked someone that wasn't family to keep things running smoothly at my wedding. We even forgot to sign the marriage certificate and we paid overtime fees for the limos.

[readwithem]

This thread reminded me of a funny from my wedding nearly 28 years ago.  We had pre-ordered the napkins (the reception was in the fellowship hall of the church where the ceremony was held) and soon-to-be dh was supposed to bring them to the church.  Well, he forgot them :) but the caterer had some extra plain white napkins which (I guess) she put out on the tables.

 

To this day, we have lots of napkins with our names and the date on it.  We have moved them around the world.  It's a memory that I cherish.  Was our wedding "perfect"?  Heck no.  Was this something a coordinator might have prevented?  Absolutely.  Would I want her to do so?  Absolutely, positively not.  Just thinking about it again brings a warm smile to my face.

 

OP, sorry you are getting so much pushback from the WTM crowd.  I think in general (broad brush here) none of us have felt the need or desire for your services.  I wish you the best.

[Artichoke]

A day of coordinator sounds like a good idea to me. We've done something similar for an intricate Eagle Scout ceremony that included a dinner and two different venues. It was nice to not have to worry about a lot of extra things that day.

 

For a wedding, I'd probably use your service for the day of the wedding but not the rehearsal dinner. In our area, I'd expect to pay in the range of $25 an hour for you and $12 an hour for your assistant for a modest size wedding.

[McKay]

A couple weddings that I've helped at could have used a day of wedding coordinator.  One mom did the food herself, and missed seeing part of the event.  I heard another mom that did the decorating and food say that she was wishing that someone knew everything that she knew. That way she could pass responsibilities on and just enjoy the wedding.

 

The average cost for a wedding around my rural area is 16K.  When I was recently looking at venues I was surprised at how quickly things add up.  One venue included a planner.  If I was to select a venue that didn't, I would be looking for a day of wedding coordinator.

 

 

[Ellie]

Really?  Most weddings you all have been to don't have a coordinator?  Most, not all, of the ones I've been to without help have been either late or involved some frantic activity or the cake cutting was at 9 pm after all folks but partiers have gone home, just a few examples I've seen and nowhere near as smooth as those with.

 

Maybe I just don't go to that many weddings, but yes, none of the ones I've attended, ever, had a coordinator (other than someone from the church who helped with arrangements and did some people-wrangling on the day of). 

[Farrar]

I wonder if the gap of wedding expectations and culture is the biggest one in America. The space between those of us with the inexpensive backyard, church hall, cheap city garden (that was mine) and buffet we set up ourselves weddings and the thousands just for the dress and the event must go off without a hitch sort of weddings seems pretty big. I have a feeling both sides feel a touch of confusion/disdain for the other.

[LucyStoner]

Ok, while I personally had the shoestringiest of shoestring weddings, I am a bit baffled as to why person after person is feeling the need to post all about how she didn't use this service and have never known anyone to. I've never gone on a cruise or hired a clown for a birthday party but if someone posted about pricing a cruise or what to charge for their clown act I wouldn't be posting WHO hires clowns or goes on cruises?! There is no medal for most laid back wedding so why the need to de facto dismiss and even deride the need for the service the OP offers?

 

As for everyone who insists that they've never been to a wedding with a coordinator, if you've ever been to a larger wedding with a lot of costs, you honestly might not have any idea IF they used a coordinator or not. Event professionals, at least the ones worth their salt, are like ninjas. They do their work seamlessly and without guests needing to take notice. They dress to blend in and they don't chat or dawdle.

[goldberry]

I wonder if the gap of wedding expectations and culture is the biggest one in America. The space between those of us with the inexpensive backyard, church hall, cheap city garden (that was mine) and buffet we set up ourselves weddings and the thousands just for the dress and the event must go off without a hitch sort of weddings seems pretty big. I have a feeling both sides feel a touch of confusion/disdain for the other.

 

Interesting, isn't it?  I went to a Girls Night Party that a friend hosted at her house.  This friend (a wonderful, kind, genuine person) happens to also have a lot of money.  Most in our area and social circle do not.  Anyway, friend hired a caterer person to make and setup food, so she wouldn't be running around messing with food the whole time and instead got to visit with everyone.  Would I ever have the money (or really even desire) to hire a caterer for a Girls Night Party?  Nope.  But I didn't really think anything about her choice to do so.  I knew she really wanted to just spend time with everyone and not in the kitchen.

 

But some people seemed to view it in a totally different way.  Very "disdainful," to use your word.

 

Interesting.

[goldberry]

And I agree, from what I have heard, the market for DoCs is when there is not the budget or desire for a full-on wedding planner, but when you CAN afford the extra cost to let your friends and family enjoy the event without having to work so much.  Seems pretty simple to me. 

 

(I say this as someone who has both worked the punch bowl, and had someone working mine. ;))

[ksr5377]

I just asked my mom.  She didn't know people like you existed.  She wished she did, as she thought her only option was do it herself or hire an actual wedding planner.  She thinks paying around $1000 for your service sounds completely reasonable.  10 years after my wedding, we both wish you would have been there.  What a stress relief!  I think it would have been nice to have one person to be going to that day/night instead of her checking in with all the vendors.  It was also more confusing because my parents hired some people but DH and I hired the DJ and photographer. For reference, my mom has married 3 daughters off in 3 very different style weddings, ranging from $12000-$25000.   

ETA: None of the wedding were at an actual 'Banquet Center" of "Event Center" type location that would have done their own catering or had someone somewhat in charge.  I think that makes a difference in our interest in your services.  Only one of the three locations even had tables and chairs, so there was a lot of coordination to be done.

[plansrme]

I would pay for your services in a heartbeat, though like others, I had no idea there were such things.  I don't know what I would pay, but good for you for providing a service that helps brides and MOBs enjoy themselves on the day of the wedding.  

[FaithManor]

Again, I don't mean to be rude, but I would not pay $95 an hour for anything wedding-related, except maybe music or photography.

You would have to pay it for music if you wanted a classically trained pianist, a harpist, or strings. I charged $75.00 an hour back in the mid-90's and had a waiting list for summer gigs.

 

Its harder for people that do not attend church or marry in a church. Usually there is a pianist or organist that charges less who will do it for whatever gratuity the church leadership establishes. Not always though. I do not do ANY weddings for our church. The church board wanted to establish the charge at $25.00. Hmm....since the average wedding rehearsal not organized and run by either a really strong clergyman who takes no prisoners or a professional wedding coordinator does not take less than two hours these days with the average size of bridal parties getting quite large, and then preludes, ceremony, postludes, and possibly practicing with a vocalist for $25.00? Not at all worth giving up a Friday night and Saturday.

[FaithManor]

Around here, event coordinators do not come with the venue. You have to provide your own. I've stopped all kinds of mayhem though in my event planning business, the coordinating is built into the fee. I am picky about events I plan. I want to make sure it is a memorable experience for everyone and family are not run ragged.

 

That said, my fees are pretty low all things considered. BUT, I am generally hired not just for planning but for custom silk arrangements, table arrangements, table settings, etc. I make a healthy amount off the custom decorating and designs so I make enough to toss in the coordinating. I do charge separately for the music if they want it because that means I hire my partner to come in and do the coordinating stuff while I'm at the piano.

[Little Nyssa]

When I got married, I mistakenly believed that a wedding coordinator was a frivolous luxury!

Now that I know what it is like to experience the stress of the wedding preparations... and how much that stress would detract from the day, I think I would have loved to have one. I did not have a relative(s) who was able to take on handling things for me. As the bride I had to pay the bills, politely request the music be changed when it was not what had been planned, figure out what to do with extra food, wrangle high chairs, politely request that I would like a knife to cut the cake with (caterer insisted that people don't 'really' cut the cake, they just pose for a photo!), who was to be in family photographs, decide who was giving toasts when...and so many other things, in addition to getting married!!! You might think that these things are all very minor, and I agree. But when you are stressed and excited and 200 people are coming at you, it really is draining and distracting and kind of upsetting.

I would say that wedding coordinating services are 'priceless' but if I had to name a figure I would say $1,000-- but I would include consultations beforehand, dealing with vendors beforehand, as well as supervising the day.

[In2why]

I don't feel a disdain for large weddings and find the idea of a coordinator fascinating.  I did mention the Mistress of Ceremonies because that is what everyone around here uses that best fits what she is describing.  And they are definitely take no prisoners type of people <grin>

 

I do have a question......because I think the whole behind the scenes is fascinating.  What would a coordinator do if Dad and StepMom were sitting where Mom and StepDad expected to sit?  I saw that as an example, and if Dad and StepMom sat there and didn't want to get up that could be rather interesting.  A stranger, even if she or he was hired would probably be walking on landmines on that one whereas a family member could probably handle it better?   Or the drunks that had too much fun with the open bar?   I wouldn't want that job for sure hehe

[momee]

"if you've ever been to a larger wedding with a lot of costs, you honestly might not have any idea IF they used a coordinator or not. Event professionals, at least the ones worth their salt, are like ninjas. They do their work seamlessly and without guests needing to take notice. They dress to blend in and they don't chat or dawdle. "

 

 

Exactly my goal.  I do not want any random guest to know I'm the wedding planner.  Sometimes its obvious, like in the wedding I mentioned upthread about having to cross the horse track with the whole party, but even then my orders were quiet and my intentions were to keep focus off me.

 

In the case of the wrong seating - that stuff needs to be worked out beforehand as much as possible.  There are usually very limited seats that are in the important places, so I ensure everyone knows who is sitting where at the rehersal.  That issue very much should have been clarified beforehand.  

 

You are right about getting a family member involved.  Just because I get a family member to help doesn't mean I haven't done my job though.  Finding out who the right :) family member to handle the issue is still me working for the benefit of the bride, kwim?  It is a skill dealing with family matters but I guarantee they are present and need to be dealt with at EVERY wedding I've done.  Some more extreme than others.

 

In the case of a drunken guest - you work AROUND them.  Having the bartender aware that cutoff of alcohol is a good thing usually eliminates too much of that.  Alot of times drunks at weddings are happy and not too much trouble.  Its more the late night issues that pop up and even then, rarely.

[momee]

"And they are definitely take no prisoners type of people <grin>"

 

Met a few of those myself (remember the one who scared the little flower girl?)

 

Most likely they're not getting paid.  People with bad attitudes won't be asked to do another wedding~that stuff REALLY matters when getting recommended by word of mouth.  I don't want a single person at any wedding I've done to talk about my attitude.  That's very important to me.

[Scarlett]

I wonder if the gap of wedding expectations and culture is the biggest one in America. The space between those of us with the inexpensive backyard, church hall, cheap city garden (that was mine) and buffet we set up ourselves weddings and the thousands just for the dress and the event must go off without a hitch sort of weddings seems pretty big. I have a feeling both sides feel a touch of confusion/disdain for the other.

I agree the gap is large. But not sure about the largest. I see the same thing when we talk about education choices, buying a house, vacations, etc. when I hear someone is spending 16-20k or more on a wedding I get a little sick feeling similar to when I hear about the salaries of football players. The difference between the haves and the have nots always affects me that way. Not because I am jealous....but because I start to think of all the basics of life people have to do without while others live in luxury. But I know all things are relative and we can't stop living because others have a hard time.

 

So that being said, I have never heard of a DoE coordinator. I am not surprised though....my circles don't run like that. I have a very very wealthy best friend and I doubt she has ever used one for any event she has hosted...I am going to ask her. Although I can see how helpful a good one could be I would fear not knowing for sure it would help. So word of mouth would be a must. In which case you could probably charge more.

 

My son is only 14 so I have a few years before a wedding is a concern.....oh I just remembered we appoint a Director of the Feast to make sure nothing questionable takes place at the reception...this is so the Groom can be focused on his Bride and being the newly weds and accepting well wishes etc instead of watching crazy cousin Casey to be sure no vodka is added to the punch bowl. ;). But it is not a paid position.

 

Momee I say it is a great gig if you can get it. And you actually have me thinking about it for the future.

[momee]

So great to hear I've inspired you, Scarlett.  It is not for the faint of heart nor is it easy.  I actually toy with not upping my game and doing more because it is so stressful.

 

I work HARD the whole time.  I also don't think it is something you will get paid to do unless you have done quite a few.  That takes time.  

 

Start volunteering now, folks are always glad to have help with the reception/food/setup then you'll get your feet wet and see if the whole business is something you'd like to be around.  My best advice is don't attempt the ceremony coordination until you're very familiar with protocol.  Those duties are so important and require someone knowing what they're doing.  Not that you don't - just that it takes time to learn to manage folks to follow you in that setting.  Anyone can tell people where to line up - it is a whole 'nother thing getting everyone to quietly do it on time ;)

 

[QueenCat]

As I think about people talking about excessive luxury and such, I am reminded that such luxuries do keep other people EMPLOYED.

[Justmeandyou]

Are most homeschooling families economically disadvantaged? I have never thought so.

 

Lots are, because homeschooling usually means only one income. At least in my area, it is not unusual for families to live below the poverty level when homeschooling.

[QueenCat]

Are most homeschooling families economically disadvantaged? I have never thought so.

 

Not around here. Although most are one income, that one income ranges pretty wildly. We have doctors and lawyers at our tutorial, as well as a few that are barely making economically, and everything in-between. If I had to hazard a guess, most are middle to upper middle income around here. One income does not mean "poor".

[Laura Corin]

I don't think it's a local thing, it's more of a budget thing. 

 

The last wedding I went to my friend was the MoB, and she was literally running around the WHOLE TIME taking care of things.  She did not get to finish one glass of champagne. That is pretty typical of a lot of weddings.  So, it makes perfect sense that if you have enough of a budget, paying someone else to do that is a useful service. 

 

 

I just don't think I've been to this kind of wedding.  My sister was married two years ago, in a beautiful farmhouse in Wales.  There were drinks on the lawn (catered by the venue) then we all went inside.  The tables were already set up - I think the venue did most of it, so my sister just went round and put place name cards out.  The registrar came in, my sister and BIL stood up and were married.  We all sat down and ate (food catered and served by venue).  My sister and BIL cut the cake, then we all wandered out onto the lawn for more drinks.  

 

My stepmother was chatting with the guests throughout, as was my sister and my other siblings, aunts, etc..

 

I'm glad it works for you, but I can't imagine paying for the service, so I can't help you with pricing.

 

L

[Scarlett]

So great to hear I've inspired you, Scarlett. It is not for the faint of heart nor is it easy. I actually toy with not upping my game and doing more because it is so stressful.

 

I work HARD the whole time. I also don't think it is something you will get paid to do unless you have done quite a few. That takes time.

 

Start volunteering now, folks are always glad to have help with the reception/food/setup then you'll get your feet wet and see if the whole business is something you'd like to be around. My best advice is don't attempt the ceremony coordination until you're very familiar with protocol. Those duties are so important and require someone knowing what they're doing. Not that you don't - just that it takes time to learn to manage folks to follow you in that setting. Anyone can tell people where to line up - it is a whole 'nother thing getting everyone to quietly do it on time ;)

Ha, no you misunderstood...I meant to HIRE such a person for weddings. It exhausts me to have 2 people over for dinner! I can't imagine coordinating an event.

[Scarlett]

As I think about people talking about excessive luxury and such, I am reminded that such luxuries do keep other people EMPLOYED.

Yes this is true, and as I said to Momee, it is a great gig if you can get it. I don't resent her specifically and I don't even resent individually football players who make millions a year for playing a game. It is the system that upsets me....but I am t/j ing so I will stop now! Sorry Momee.

[StephanieZ]

"What does a mothers occupation have to do with how much they spend for a wedding?"

 

Come on, I didn't mean to insinuate anything mean like that.  I just said the women responding here are moms who are homeschooling and are looking to be careful with what they're spending, most of them aren't going to need to spend that kind of money on a superfluous service like mine.  I have tried to word carefully and thankfully every response so as not to cause a stir.  

 

I'm telling you I think it is just dangerous to post here anymore.  

 

I'm so sorry I offended you.  I'm also super happy you had a wonderful wedding.

Thanks for taking the time to give input.

 

 

edited because mom's does not need an apostrophe :)

 

LOL, you've been a bit beat up on this thread!! :) Why do people do that? (((hugs)))

 

I agree with a prior poster that this is likely a regional thing. My 2c is that if your client base has been willing to spend $1000, then $1000 or $1200 isn't going to impact your business negatively. Once someone is willing to spend that general range of $$, then I expect that their decision on which coordinator to hire will be based on other factors -- mainly their perception of the value they will receive. Their confidence in you, their comprehension of all the services/benefits they will receive, etc. So, if you want to raise your fee but not negatively impact your business, maybe spend a few dollars more on promotional brochures/DVD/whatever that communicates the benefits the bride and her family will get for their $$.

 

That said, I, too, find that many homeschooling families have high incomes and can and do spend on luxuries. Being able to afford to have a parent home full time is significant. Also, a homeschooling family (especially one with both parents having potentially high earning power), has made a clear commitment of their resources into their children . . . So, their willingness to spend on a daughter's wedding might surprise you. Personally, I can't fathom spending 50k+ on a party unless that $$ included flying them all to the Caribbean for a week's holiday . . . (Now, I might get aboard with that . . .) but I could see spending $1000 on a coordinator for a $10k wedding, just so I could focus my attention on the fun and family . . . ;)

[plansrme]

OP, you've been a really good sport about the responses.  Kudos to you.  Perhaps you should use this thread and your calm reaction to the comments in your promotional materials.  "Look how well I handled these ladies; just imagine how great I'll be with your nonspeaking parents!"

[Muttichen]

As I think about people talking about excessive luxury and such, I am reminded that such luxuries do keep other people EMPLOYED.

 

YES!!!  Some people in the other wedding thread are acting as though the money spent on a wedding is just burned up or something.  Why spend so much on one day?  Shouldn't we give it to the needy instead????

 

Bartenders, caterers, servers, cake decorators, photographers, DJs, seamstresses, hairdressers, wedding planners and event coordinators like the OP aren't usually fabulously wealthy people.  (Well, maybe the OP is, I don't know, but the ones around here aren't :P)  When you spend money on a wedding, you are providing income for them, maybe even more directly than if you gave it to a charity with a lot of overhead.  

[FaithManor]

YES!!!  Some people in the other wedding thread are acting as though the money spent on a wedding is just burned up or something.  Why spend so much on one day?  Shouldn't we give it to the needy instead????

 

Bartenders, caterers, servers, cake decorators, photographers, DJs, seamstresses, hairdressers, wedding planners and event coordinators like the OP aren't usually fabulously wealthy people.  (Well, maybe the OP is, I don't know, but the ones around here aren't :p)  When you spend money on a wedding, you are providing income for them, maybe even more directly than if you gave it to a charity with a lot of overhead.  

Very true. If it weren't for larger events such as weddings, banquets, etc. caterers would not have jobs. Cake decorators would not have jobs. Florists would struggle because the bulk of their summer earnings are from weddings as the other major holidays for which flowers are sent are in the winter through Mother's Day. Funerals can only carry one so far. So it all works together to keep the economy afloat.

 

To each his own...for the most part, the parents and couples I've known that have thrown really expensive weddings did so because money was not an issue in general. There was plenty of money in the family. It would, for the most part, not be an issue of "we pay for expensive weddings and not college tuition" or whatever. Those families on a small budget are families that usually just plain have smaller household budgets and incomes. That's all fine. I have only a couple of times seen instances in which the family went into major hock to pull off an expensive wedding. My best friend in high school. Her parents' farm wasn't doing all that great, but they didn't want to let on that things were going down hill for them financially and were afraid that a less than luxurious wedding would some how let on to the community that things were going well. They borrowed $10,000.00 against an asset and that was for a wedding in 1986 in which everything was so expensive that on that budget, they could not afford to hire a wedding planner to help. Poor mamma and the grandmums...452 guests, and they were cooking, setting up, and cleaning for all of it while their husbands were barely skating in from the barn in time to participate. I have never seen more exhausted relatives. Really. I thought that girls' brother would fall asleep during the ceremony, and her mom was very cranky by the mid point in the festivities. She was just too worn out to go on...so something to think about when you have a wedding of that size.

 

Still wrapping my brain around the fact that my niece's bridal party and immediate relatives managed to down $10,000 in booze in 2.5 days.

[Halftime Hope]

Sometimes you can plan all the details, inform everyone of exactly what is needed, do all the work, and a Wedding Czarina is *still* needed.  I gave the wedding party, all of whom were in from out of town a packet of info with everything from diagrams of the way we were standing to a list of nightspots they'd like on Miami Beach since that's what some were interested in.  

 

The church we rented was unlocked by two deacons who turned on lights and ran sound as well.  After the wedding, when the bridal party was heading over to the reception area (across the parking lot), they told my mom and dad that they could not go to the reception until they had move everything that belonged to the wedding party over to the reception hall so that the deacons could turn off lights and lock up.  My mother started to try to gather all the belongings--the clothes, curling irons, guys' gym bags, etc., and the lunch spread we had all had.  They worked for about 10 minutes, mom getting angrier and angrier, until she finally looked up and told the deacons that she. was. going. to. her. daughter's. reception, and they could lump it or leave it.  If they needed to lock everything up, they could, but she would call the pastor after the reception and would get him to unlock the doors.  Somehow they negotiated a compromise.  For months afterward, she dreamed that I got married again, and this time "we did it right." 

 

And that's what Wedding Czarina's are for.  To stop people from being stupid.

 

[Halftime Hope]

I'm looking at two weddings in the next year. Neither will have anything approaching a wedding planner or coordinator. We'll probably be outside for both, have a buffet and just enjoy friends. I'll probably rope my sis into helping and I know who will be doing the cakes. Music won't be a problem, with one couple with doctorates in music. They have lots of friends. :laugh:  Spend $1,000 on a person for one day?  Right now, that's $1,000 more in income than we have. We're obviously not your niche market.  :lol:

 

Margaret, is that an announcement?  Did she find a guy--there is life after loss?  If so, I'm just over-the-moon happy for her, and for you all! 

 

[SebastianCat]

I think we paid either $300-500 (can't remember exactly) for the church where DH & I were married 15 years ago, and that fee included the services of a wedding coordinator.   BUT, she only handled the details inside the church ~ the caterer was in charge of the reception.   I think I met with her once prior to the wedding, and she was extremely helpful in handling the details within the church, like decorations, order of the service, and getting everyone where they were supposed to be at the right time.

 

Our wedding and reception were fairly modest - 2pm ceremony, reception at a restored old home with hors d'oeuvres and cake, no alcohol.   I can see how a big, elaborate wedding with a sit-down dinner reception, dancing, etc., would need a coordinator as well.

 

Our current church is very large and they host some very large weddings, along with the receptions on site.   I know the church wedding coordinator but have no idea how much they charge.   (I imagine it's probably less than your target market because I'm pretty sure they don't do weddings for non-church-members.)

 

I think the best way to determine your best rate is to talk to brides you've worked with AND THEIR FRIENDS.   When I got married, I had at least 6 good friends in the same social circle who all got married within about a year of each other.   We compared notes and used many of the same vendors.   

 

Does your area have wedding shows or large wedding events?   I seem to see advertisements for them here right after Christmas and Valentine's Day when a lot of couples get engaged.   That might be another good way to guage prices in your area.

[idnib]

I could see someone in my area paying $1k for such a service. I think a lot of it depends on the circumstance.  I could see someone hiring help for the day so they can enjoy their out-of-town guests, especially if they're short on helpful people. There's a big difference between a younger bride who has childless sisters and a mom in town, vs. an older bride whose parents have passed and has one brother who lives a thousand miles away.