So upset. Did I have inappropriate expectations of the vet?

[Laurie4b]

We had an appt today at 11:30 to euthanize our dog of 15 years. My assumption was that, with the appt, they would make sure we didn't have to wait long. The vet is 5 min from our home.

 

At noon, I left. There was still no definitive time that the doctor would be free. There had been an emergency, which I understand. What I don't understand was why they didn't call us to tell us they would be delayed. In fact, I paid first so I wouldn't have to do it afterward. They still didn't tell me there would be a delay. 3 of my sons were with me and I told them we preferred to wait in the van with her rather than in a sterile office. They said that was fine. 20 min later, I used the cell to ask how much longer we'd have to wait. That's when I was told about the emergency but that it wouldn't be too much longer. 30 min after the appt time, there was still no definitive time and I had an appointment that I needed to keep so we left.

 

I'm obviously upset because no one wants to euthanize their pet in the first place. It wasn't an emergency, just a long decline. But I would have thought that most families would not want to be waiting around for that for long periods of time.

 

If you want to explain why that is appropriate practice for a vet, feel free and please be nice. Otherwise, this is a JAWM thread.

 

ETA:

There may have only been one vet there today. What I am upset about is not the emergency--that can't be helped--but the lack of initiative in communicating that there was an emergency in the first place and in giving us some choices instead of making us wait and wait. There were plenty of other people there. There were 2 assts plus receptionist up front at one point. I initiated all the communication.

 

Doggie is sleeping peacefully in the kitchen. She'll probably not be feeling well later from all the cheese and jerky she had this morning for her last meal.

 

It's emotionally wrenching to have taken her and now have to do it again.

 

ETA: Update:

I got a voice mail from the vet yesterday, very apologetic. She didn't say anything about an emergency; she said she didn't realize how far behind schedule they had gotten. She said it never should have happened, it would be awful to go through that, they will do whatever we want--reschedule, refund, etc.

 

I can't do it again.  I feel like it's like having to put your dog down twice. We went through all the emotions, but without closure so I had to look at her and know she wouldn't be looking at me if I had done what I intended. Guilt. So dh is taking her. The boys want to be with her and go again. I feel like I can say my good-byes here.

 

It came down to what looks to be total loss of bladder control. We cannot keep her clean, despite 2 baths a day. So.

 

Thanks for the support. It was really helpful. I was really torn up yesterday. Still am, but at least there will be resolution.

[momto10blessings]

The vet should be more accommodating. I'm sure they know how hard it is to do what you are doing and now you just have to prepare for it all over again. I'm sorry.

[MeghanL]

I'm so sorry! Both that you had to make the decision to euthanize and that your family wasn't given the delicate treatment you should have received during this emotional and difficult time.  :grouphug:

[zoobie]

The staff should have notified you about the emergency. I'm sure it was an oversight, but ultimately hurtful to you. They may not be able to give you a specific time given the emergency situation, but they should be able to articulate that and not keep you waiting without knowing why.

 

I'm sorry about your dog. :grouphug:

[J-rap]

I'm so sorry.  It should not have been that way.  Euthanizing your pet is a very difficult and delicate situation.  Our vet schedules them early in the morning before other appointments so that no one else is there and there is no chance of other appointments before yours that are running late.  Of course the emergency is unexpected but I would think she would have called you to let you know.  :grouphug:

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: I'm sorry. When I worked at the vet it seemed everything happened at once. Is this a one veterinarian practice? If so, there certainly could have been an emergency that needed immediate attention. Euthanizing pets is a somber events for vets and employees. We always worked to ensure a private time for the families and time to answer any questions, perhaps they felt they couldn't ensure that with the emergent situation. In our practice, it would have also been the job of the receptionist to convey your displeasure and he probably would have had me (I was an assistant) go out and explain the situation if I wasn't tied up with the emergency as well. 

 

Instead of having a hurried, distracted vet at this time, perhaps they wanted to see you at a more calm time. Sounds like a miscommunication, which unfortunately, happened at very emotional time for you.  :grouphug:

[Wilma]

They bungled it. Make sure you tell them when you go back how you would've liked that situation to be handled. (A tender phone call would've been the right thing.)

[AimeeM]

I have no advice or insight, just wanted to drop in with hugs - I know how difficult it is to euthanize a beloved pet.

[JustEm]

I used to work at a veterinary hospital as a vet tech so I know how hectic it can be depending on the emergency.  There were times when patients were told one thing by the reception who really had no idea the severity of the situation and kept getting strung along because of miscommunication. Sadly, it happens.  I'm sorry to hear that it happened to you at such a difficult time.  It is certainly not an appropriate practice for a vet but I doubt it was intentional.  

 

I would let them know how upsetting it was to be told to wait with no real idea of how long it would take and possibly ask for a refund if there are other vets in the area who can help you.

[Suzanne115]

I'm so sorry.  Having to euthanize a pet is heartbreaking.  We just went through this in December. I would have been upset to have to wait too. 

 

Suzanne

[MistyMountain]

I only had to do that once when my childhood pet had to be put to sleep when I was a teenager. My siblings and I brought the cat in and we got a room right away. We got to say our goodbyes and the tech that took him away was very kind and teared up a little too because he stayed there during some of his sickness and they really liked him. Due to the emotions involved they should schedule it for a time where you get seen right away because that is not a time to be sitting around waiting in a waiting room with other people.

[Hannah]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  

How awful for you.

 

 

I would let them know how upsetting it was to be told to wait with no real idea of how long it would take and possibly ask for a refund if there are other vets in the area who can help you.

 

This.

I found that our vet (and owner of the practice) did not know what blunders and bad service their front desk staff was giving. And it did cost them business. 

Definitely complain.

[Reefgazer]

I'm sorry about your dog and your bad experience.  Maybe talk to the office and mention that you were upset  - it may be that there was an emergency and the staff was short-handed due to illness/vacation/whatever.

 

I remember your original thread about your dog in which I told you I took my cat to be euthanized and he died in the car.  It was late evening and my regular vet was closed, so I went to the emergency vet office, where they were very cavalier toward me and treated my pet's body as trash.  I didn't say anything because it wasn't my regular vet, but since this is your regular vet, I would mention it in a non-threatening and non-angry (if possible) way.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I am so sorry.  They bungled it.  Even if it hadn't been an appointment to put a pet down, they didn't respect your time.  Yes, emergencies happen.  The considerate thing to do would be to be up front about the time delay and asked about rescheduling.  Their cavalier attitude for this type of appointment is unacceptable. 

[Shannon in TN]

I can't imagine how difficult this must have been.  I was a receptionist for years at an animal hospital, and we would almost always drop what we were doing for euthanasia appointments, for the very reason that it's difficult on the families and often the vet staff (especially if it was a long-standing client).  This was usually true even if there were emergencies, but then we always had at least 2 vets on staff all day.  Even if the techs and assistants were busy, there were several of us behind the desk who were able to go to the exam room and help with the euthanasias. 

 

I would definitely bring up your concerns to the vet or practice manager.  There are often communication breakdowns between the front and back, but to wait so long for something so difficult?  That's not ok.

[MercyA]

I'm so sorry for your difficulty and for your loss.  :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Laurie4b]

Thank you for the commiseration. It helps. I am still feeling upset. I will tell the vet, probably by letter, how much harder the wait made it for us and how I would have appreciated timely communication that gave us some options.I am not sure we can go back today because of our schedules. (Someone who wanted to be there wouldn't be able to be there.)

 

There may have only been one vet there today. What I am upset about is not the emergency--that can't be helped--but the lack of initiative in communicating that there was an emergency in the first place. There were plenty of other people there. There were 2 assts plus receptionist up front at one point.

 

Doggie is sleeping peacefully in the kitchen. She'll probably not be feeling well later from all the cheese and jerky she had this morning.

[rmtzc2009]

I'm so sorry that happened. We had to have our dog put down 2 weeks ago. It was harder on all of us than I could have ever imagined. When I called & asked about bringing her in the vet said just come on over & we'll get you in a room right away. Our dog was nervous, she never did like going to the vet. My husband regrets taking her in & knowing her last bit if time was in that sterile & stressful environment. Next time we have to do this we'll have a vet come to the house. I'm sorry for your loss!

[Tess in the Burbs]

You have every right to be upset.  Our family experience and friend experiences have been different.  In our case, every time, the time was the last appt of the day.  So no interruptions.  No crowded waiting room.  All alone and given time to say goodbye and grieve alone.  Sorry you had a bad experience.  I would seriously consider getting a refund and calling around to a better office. 

[Laurie4b]

I'm so sorry that happened. We had to have our dog put down 2 weeks ago. It was harder on all of us than I could have ever imagined. When I called & asked about bringing her in the vet said just come on over & we'll get you in a room right away. Our dog was nervous, she never did like going to the vet. My husband regrets taking her in & knowing her last bit if time was in that sterile & stressful environment. Next time we have to do this we'll have a vet come to the house. I'm sorry for your loss!

That was actuallty what I was used to: Doggie 1 was put down in our kitchen by our (former) neighbor who was her vet. Doggie 2 was put down at the vet's but he had been there for treatment and it just wasn't working. We didn't take him in specifically for that purpose. Doggie 3 was put down at home. So this was a whole new experience. Our dog doesn't especially like the vet either and well... just ugh. That's why we wanted to wait in the van.

[Liz CA]

Oh boy. This is a terrible way to say good-bye. Drawn out and agitating. Perhaps the vet had no choice than to attend to a critically ill animal? Was there only one vet?

I am sorry it had to be so much more heart rending than it already is. Have a good cry.

[Plink]

Your vet was doing exactly what he (she?) was supposed to be doing, focusing on the pet that needed urgent care. The office secretary, on the other hand, dropped the ball. I'm so sorry. Please make sure to let your vet know that you weren't happy with the way you were treated. It isn't a reflection on the professional, but their staff, and they will want to know.

[elegantlion]

It is very difficult and different to take an animal in solely for that final visit. I've been there as a vet assistant and as a pet owner.  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[unsinkable]

Oh, Laurie. How very sad.

 

I'm really sorry.

 

((((Laurie))))

[Word Nerd]

I'm sorry this made an already emotionally difficult situation even worse. I remember your other thread and know it's been a struggle to come to this decision. :grouphug:

[Melissa in Australia]

(hugs)

[Momof3littles]

I am so sorry.  I know our time is coming with our dog, and having to go through that would be extra heart wrenching.

[sassenach]

I recently found out that our vet will do home visits to euthanize. It's not advertised, but available upon asking. (((Hugs))))

[ThisIsTheDay]

It seems that they should have been more compassionate for your situation, since they were appropriately staffed.

 

I'm so sorry.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Eagle]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :grouphug:

[PrincessMommy]

they messed up.  Actually, long waits at the doctor's office is a pet peeve of mine.  In this age of being plugged in why can't they give the patient a heads-up so we can either arrive later or reschedule.  Heck, If *I'm*  only 10-15min. late they won't take me and I have to pay the no-show fee AND reschedule.  Seems only fair that we should get the same courtesy. 

[Vida Winter]

They could have handled it so much better, but the staff was probably caught up in what was happening and not thinking. I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. My thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow. :grouphug:

[dsmith]

Our vet schedules this for after regular office hours, so that there are no unexpected emergencies and families can have some privacy and take the time they need to say goodbye. Sorry you are going through this.

[texasmama]

(((Hugs))). How horrible. I'm so sorry :(

[ChristusG]

We just put down our old dog last month. It was the hardest decision I've ever made. I would have been VERY irritated at the vet for doing that!

 

For me, it was very difficult to even make the call to set up the appointment to euthanize our dog, much less actually have to take him to the vet to have it done. And then I dealt with the tears and big questions from my girls the night before the appointment. Then we gave him his special last meal the morning of the appointment. Afterwards, everyone said their tearful goodbyes and the kids were crying as I drove away with our dog. My nephew dug the hole in our backyard when we were gone. If I got to the vet and had to bring the dog back home and go through all that emotional turmoil again, I would have been livid!

 

I'm so sorry you had to go through that!

[Truscifi]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I'm sorry you are dealing with such a difficult situation.

[JustEm]

Just need to come back and give you a virtual  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  Shortly after making my above post I got a phone call from my brother asking about animal health advice for our childhood dog who moved in with him once we all moved out because the dog was too strong for my parents to walk.  Even though he was at my brother's house he was still very much everyone's dog.  I headed over to his house and got to spend the next hour comforting our dog as he took his last breaths.  We then transported him to my parents' house and buried him in their yard.

 

I hope that your dog goes peacefully and all that want to be present are able to be.  Try to forget the vet annoyance for now and just focus on grieving for your pup.

[Laurie4b]

Thanks, everyone. :sad:

[Laurie4b]

She has been laid to rest.

[texasmama]

(((hugs)))

[elegantlion]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

[RoughCollie]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[jrn]

:grouphug:

[Eagle]

:grouphug:

[heartosunshine]

(((hugs)))

[BigMamaBird]

I'm so sorry your family is going through this.   :grouphug:

[Hannah]

:grouphug:

[Alexigail]

So many hugs.  How heart wrenching!  I am glad they apologized, but that was really out of line.  Hugs.

[Lizzie in Ma]

:grouphug: :grouphug:  I'm sorry, how awful for you.