Ottakee Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I am a big sappy weepy person. I am really strong and can handle a lot of stress without breaking down but I cry at the Budweiser commercials. I cried when Frosty melted as a kid. I cry reading sappy things on Facebook, in my books, at church, at movies, etc. I cry at anything and everything even remotely touching, sappy, etc. I hate that though as I am always looking for Kleenex and have the red puffy eyes and drippy nose. Today I have a funeral to go to. I hate funerals. I would cry at ANY funeral---even for a person I didn't know or someone I never even liked. This is to be for a dear older man that we have known almost 30 years. To top it off, this will be a military funeral which makes things even worse for me (if it can get any worse). Is anyone else like this? Anything I can do to avoid using up a whole box of Kleenexes and looking terrible? I would love to just skip out today but several family members asked if I was coming so I will go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I didn't use to cry a lot, but I find that I do more and more. Sometimes I'm telling Husband about something moving that I read in a newspaper and find my voice cracking and tears in my eyes. Deep breaths help a bit. L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 It depends on what it is, for me. I used to work with victim/witness advocates, and during a particularly rough case, I asked one of the workers how she held it all together. She told me that she compartmentalized it, that the grief was the other person's, and not hers. I know that only works for some situations, but it did put it into a different perspective for me. But other times, it's okay to feel that grief. My sister would say those who feel more grief feel more happiness too. If you end up all weepy at the funeral, there will be other people who will secretly ask their friends why they don't feel more emotional. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I do! I cry at everything. Doesn't matter that I've seen Return of the King several times -- I still cry at the end every time. I barely made it through my matron of honor toast to my sister at her wedding a few weeks ago. My grandmother just passed away, and I'm pretty sure I will end up crying through the entire funeral. I have no advice for you, just sympathies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I didn't used to cry a lot either. As I've gotten older that has changed - although I still HATE crying in front of people. I also cry at funerals even if I don't know the person. I have no advice, just understanding. I'm sure you will not be the only one crying today. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I was JUST sobbing over the new Budweiser commercial with the puppy!!! So, yes, pretty much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I was just wiping tears away after watching a commercial for SPCA kitty adoption! I have been encouraged by using Rescue Remedy chews by Bach flower essence when in stressful situations. They really do help me feel more balanced and in control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Yep. That's me to a T. Ds pats my arm. Dd goes, "Oh, Mom!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 My mom cries at everything, and I did also until I was 19. I decided to stop since I found it so embarrassing. I have realized that by limiting certain emotions I have limited them all. Probably not a good thing, but it is hard to reverse. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Think about where you want to sit at the funeral. I have to distract myself some. Don't watch the family or the grandkids, draw on your program, that sort of thing. You won't be as involved but you won't be a mess either. Good luck. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I never used to cry at anything. Then after my second child was born, I cry at everything. My family knows to just hand me the Kleenex box if something sad or sappy or emotional shows up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 :grouphug: Weepy and funerals are pretty much a given for me. To avoid puffy eyes, try just blotting vs. rubbing your eyes, and sunglasses hide a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Aw. Don't be so critical of yourself. I was not a crier - to the degree of unwell and prided myself on stoicism. Over the years, I began to cry "more". Since the accident, I cry (what seems to me) frequently. I think feeling deeply is an asset, not a liability. It speaks to being bold, connected, caring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Thinking back to the last funeral I attended, one of my 9-year-old trumpet students, I was so numb at the funeral I couldn't have cried if I'd wanted to. I think I could cry at a service if there wasn't shock involved. I haven't been to a funeral for an adult in 22 years. :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Raising my hand. Our tears are a gift to the bereaved. Wear them well, friend. (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLMom Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I am the exact same way. I am sorry i am no help. In 48 years, i havent found anything that works for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 At least I am not totally alone. I would try the sunglasses thing but I think that I would TOTALLY stand out considering we are in West Michigan where the sun almost never shines in the winter and we are under another storm advisory.......maybe ski goggles, but not sunglasses. I have my Kleenexes packed. Now to shower and get ready to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I cry all the time. Wear waterproof mascara or none. Make sure you do not get tissues with the added moisturizer, it irrated my eyes at a funerals and they were extra red. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I am that way. Often I can't even get through relaying a story to my husband or one of my kids without crying. I do even more now, since my husband's stroke, since I realize so much more clearly how very fragile life is and how everyone is just trying to make a go at it the best they can. It just makes me very weepy! My secret weapon is to try and think of something that makes me feel very angry -- some unjustice that was done to someone, perhaps. I feel badly doing that because then I'm forcing myself to think about something very negative, but at times that's the only way for me to hold it together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I am 51 and have a neurological disorder. As I have gotten older, I don't cry with grief, but joy or profound, wonderful things like a newborn baby can make me sob uncontrollably. I don't mind really, because this transcendent joy is an amazing thing that I wasn't capable of experiencing as a youngster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I am a big sappy weepy person. I am really strong and can handle a lot of stress without breaking down but I cry at the Budweiser commercials. I cried when Frosty melted as a kid. I cry reading sappy things on Facebook, in my books, at church, at movies, etc. I cry at anything and everything even remotely touching, sappy, etc. I hate that though as I am always looking for Kleenex and have the red puffy eyes and drippy nose. This is me too. You're not alone. I have found many other fellow souls by mentioning it when I realize I can't hide it another second. I think other people are sometimes relieved to know they're not the only ones. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 My people! :p I'm like this too, although I've gotten better at holding back the tears when I need to (e.g. at work). But yes, sappy commercials, heartwarming baby or puppy videos, feelgood FB posts, etc. - I can't help it. My go-to tricks are looking up (seems to stem the flow if you do it right away), biting my lip, and mental distraction. That said, it's a funeral. Let the tears flow. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I rarely ever cried. Even the night my mom died, I didn't cry until the next day when I was alone in the car. As I've gotten older, I find myself crying - and not able to stop - over many different moving events not even related to my. I cried yesterday while watching a you tube video of Pete Seeger. I've decided it's normal, and for me, probably even healthier than the way I used to be. Don't feel bad about it. You're certainly not the only one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Ugh...I HATE crying in public. Because I am not a beautiful crier. My nose gets red, my voice breaks, I do the heaving sob thing...seriously, I'm a mess. It's embarrassing. And the older I get, the more I cry. If I can prepare myself, I can avoid it (I didn't shed a tear at my dd's wedding, I was NOT going to look like a freak in every photo taken that day), it's the things that catch me off-guard that ruin me. And I absolutely will not click on that Budweiser puppy commercial. No freaking way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I go through stages. I have cried lots at times, now not so much. Sometimes I kind of feel like a heartless jerk. I just don't cry anymore. I agree with SquirrellyMama, once you limit certain emotions, you limit them all. As for the Budweiser commercials....It has been a while since we have had cable so I haven't watched any in a while, but if women in bikinis make you cry....well then... :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 For the sensitive souls here: Being sensitive is a personality trait, not a character defect. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 I made it with only about 6 tissues. I sat with a friend who is also a crier so we did OK together. The worst was the military part--the salutes, 21 gun salute, taps and folding of the flag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I didn't use to cry a lot, but I find that I do more and more. Sometimes I'm telling Husband about something moving that I read in a newspaper and find my voice cracking and tears in my eyes. Deep breaths help a bit. L Ditto. I think my worst is when I go to the Godvine website. There is usually a video there that has me choked up in no time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Before kids, no. Since having kids I cry at everything. My kids find it hysterical that I can be brought to tears by a commercial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 *DP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 What is weird though...is when my mother passed away and I had to stand there and greet people at the wake, I thought I'd never make it through that. I barely cried. I guess I was just beyond crying at that moment. And thank goodness because otherwise I would not have been able to stand there and get through it. The time I DIDN'T cry was at the funeral home and then funeral for my BIL who was murdered when he was just 24 years old. I somehow made it through that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Isn't that weird... I sometimes have these dumb awful thoughts like if this horrible thing happened how would I ever make it through. But it's like you do. Somehow you do. I fall apart over a sad book. But if the ship really hits the fan..I somehow manage. I think this is actually common. I think people who cry easily over smaller matters can go into...maybe a type of shock, and not cry over a death. I'm a very sensitive soul. It was getting worse with perimenopause, though. I am on a SSRI. Now I hardly ever cry. Mind you, crying at a funeral would be okay - or even while watching Catching Fire - but falling apart in very unsuitable situations was not okay with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Ottakee: It is good you posted first, prepared yourself for it. I've gotten worse as the years go by. I'm not suggested surgery, but for a year after I had my open heart I cried over nothing! Now it has returned. I don't do too bad with funerals. It's sad stuff I read in the paper that evil people do to kids that gets me to crying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I now have linen handkerchiefs so I don't get little Kleenex fuzzies all over me. Sometimes just holding the handkerchief can limit my crying a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I do cry at anything and everything. I also cry at funerals for people I don't know. Happy/sappy things also make me cry occasionally. I am a cryer, sometimes it is embarrassing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 31, 2014 Author Share Posted January 31, 2014 . I'm not suggested surgery, but for a year after I had my open heart I cried over nothing! Now it has returned. I don't do too bad with funerals. It's sad stuff I read in the paper that evil people do to kids that gets me to crying. Can I blame it on that then? I had open heart surgery and have been a crier ever since..........granted my surgery was 40 years ago but maybe I can still blame it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 There was a funeral today for a woman who died in childbirth with her first child. I didn't know her, but the idea of her sweet baby girl growing up without her mommy makes me want to weep. Someone who did know her told me she died from an amniotic fluid embolism. Tragic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 There was a funeral today for a woman who died in childbirth with her first child. I didn't know her, but the idea of her sweet baby girl growing up without her mommy makes me want to weep. Someone who did know her told me she died from an amniotic fluid embolism. Tragic. Oh, that is so tragic! I'd have bawled through the entire thing. When I was about seventeen, our principal died from a brain tumor. He wasn't that old (45 or 50?), had young kids, had worked with my dad (a teacher at the school) for many years. I went with my parents to the funeral and just sobbed and sobbed at how unfair it seemed for his family to be left without him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Our tears are a gift to the bereaved. Wear them well, friend. (((hugs))) I think this is a really lovely way to think of it. I'm a total crier too -- for anything & everything, happy or sad. Sometimes I can distract myself by tuning things out & that can help me get over the worst humps. Usually, I try to have plenty of Kleenex & I like to have something cold in the car (to hold on my eyes after crying if I'm out somewhere), some Excedrin (because crying always gives me a splitting headache) & some water or something to drink. I know it is ok to cry (as others have pointed out), but I can also understand the frustration of being someone who has tears always at the ready.... :grouphug: on the loss of your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I cry at everything too. That new Budweiser commercial with the puppy and horse had me nearly sobbing. I can THINK myself into crying over things. It's awful. You are not alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 31, 2014 Author Share Posted January 31, 2014 We don't drink and I never even watch TV stations that would carry a beer commercial but those Budweiser horse ones always get to me. The one last year was worse.........when the guy raised the foal and then sold him to the Budweiser people only to see him years later in a parade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I was never much a crier. I was in antidepressants for a solid 12 years and went off a year ago. Depression (mostly) hasn't returned but now I cry at everything! I cried listening to a children's song every time I heard it. I cried when we recently went to kids day at the symphony, moved by the beauty of them playing...pirates of the Caribbean! I've cried while reading probably 10 kids books now. I cry at commercials too. Sheesh! I was talking about it to my mom and she said, "well don't worry about it. I wish people cried more often. The world would be a better place if more people were moved to tears by the beauty and the poignancy of life around them." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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