gingersmom Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No man chair in our house. All I can think about is Archie Bunker and his chair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No man chair. Yes woman chair. Dh bought a recliner for me for Christmas when I was pregnant with our 5th child. I have vericose veins and when my legs ache, I need to elevate them. Yes, I sometimes ask children to get out of my chair so I can sit there, but usually at the end of the day, not really any other time. Dh's father died when he was 3, so he doesn't have any example. Religion:Christian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatfishes Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 What are his expectations regarding it? (not including kitchen/dining chairs) Does he expect the kids to get out of it when he comes home? Does he read not getting out of the chair without being told as disrespect? Does he expect you to get out of it when he is around? If you are a man, just answer for yourself. Also, as the woman, do you have a specific chair and have similar expectations? Let me clarify that this isn't about anyone sitting on the floor. :) If you are comfortable, could you also state: 1. If this practice was held in man's house when he was a kid 2. Religion (if any) of man Please don't answer if this offends you or if you feel it is too private :) 1] no 'man chairs' or adult chairs. 2] probably they had a whole room the kids were not allowed in 3]Christian I know you specified Not dining chairs,but ...My 9 yr old son has Autism ,and yes he has a chair he always sits in,for meals and schoolwork. He will melt down if he has to change seats.Sometimes it has to happen.Rarely it happens- because its good to challenge his perception and help him see he really can sit somewhere else and it will be okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galatea Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 I'm sorry I wasn't more specific. I wasn't referring to kitchen chairs or situations where there was insufficient seating. So those whose men do have specified lounging seats, are people expected to get out of it without being told/asked? My husband does have a chair that's his. It used to belong to his parents and it's comfortable and it's a recliner. We only have one child, but she's only 3 so she has to be asked to move. He usually pulls her up on his lap anyway though. I rarely sit in it, but when I do, I move for him because I know it's his comfort spot. I did grow up in a big family (8 kids) and we were expected to get out of Dad's chair without being asked. It was his chair. No one ever didn't move, so I don't know what he would have done if we hadn't. But we all knew that it was the respectful thing to do. He was our father and our provider and if he wanted a chair of his own, why not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gailmegan Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No special chair for dh. I get to pick my chair since my back is hurt. My PopPop had his chair though. I used to sit under the cushion and he would sit on me and pretend he didn't see me. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 I grew up with a Dad who was/is VERY possessive of "his spot." It is always an awkward thing when anyone comes over as you can see him start twitching if anyone sits in HIS CHAIR. We just spent a month at their house and it is expected that every and anyone moves out of his chair, but he will remind them if not done. He would rather no one but him sits there. My Dad is very much king of his castle and my mom treats him as such. My husband is not that way at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDweller Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No 'man' chair. No 'woman' chair. We only have a sectional. Funny thing is, there are only three of us, we each do have our favorite spot that we sit in. It just evolved that way. A few times dd has sat where I usually do and I've asked her to move. More in a joking manner than anything. My mom and dad didn't have chairs of their own. Dh's dad did. In my husband's family it was always a given that children would give up a chair, whether it was in the living room or at the kitchen table, to an adult. He comes from a large family and the kids were usually expected to go play and let the adults talk. My family is small and we seldom had company, so it wasn't an issue. As far as any religious aspect, it has never entered into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 My dad had a chair. It was his chair, and he had first claim. If we were in it and he came in the room, sometimes, he'd tell us to get out. Other times, he'd just sit on us. :lol:. this :-) DH (and I) have "chairs" in that the two recliners go to a grown up first. Then again the kidlets have their own mini armchairs too. If a kid is in a recliner (DS is currently banned for rocking it into the wall too many times) they are asked to move of a grown up wants it. We have no religion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No such chair at my house. My dad has one come to think of it, but it was never a problem if we sat in it. My mom and step dad have one, too. I do get up when they come into the room, but they always say they don't care if I sit there. I know you said not dining chairs, but Dh and I are very possessive of our dining chairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 What are his expectations regarding it? (not including kitchen/dining chairs) Does he expect the kids to get out of it when he comes home? Does he read not getting out of the chair without being told as disrespect? Does he expect you to get out of it when he is around? If you are a man, just answer for yourself. Also, as the woman, do you have a specific chair and have similar expectations? Let me clarify that this isn't about anyone sitting on the floor. :) If you are comfortable, could you also state: 1. If this practice was held in man's house when he was a kid 2. Religion (if any) of man Please don't answer if this offends you or if you feel it is too private :) Yes, he has a chair. The kids rarely sit in it. If a kid is sitting in it, it's probably because they want to cuddle with him and are waiting for him to come sit. If a kid is sitting in it, he'll generally pull them onto his lap. Rarely, he'll send them off altogether (usually only if he needs to work on something on his laptop or something like that). If I'm sitting in it, I often offer it up to him (he has a bad back and that chair really is the best for him). Sometime's he'll take me up on the offer, sometimes he won't. No respect issues are ever connected to the chair. If he really needs to sit in it, he'll just ask nicely for the person to move. The whole family recognizes it as his spot, and there is no problem with that. I have a preferred corner of the couch and will make a kid move over if I really want to sit in it. I would say these are all non-issue, flow of everyday life things that never have any conflict connected with them. It actually makes me smile to think of it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Dh would probably like a chair but there is no chair ownership going on. We do all have our preferred spots on the couch. My dad had a chair. It was a recliner. He did not view it as disrespect if we did not jump out of the chair when he entered. He would simply tell us to get out of the chair or he would sit on us. Now that I am thinking about it, both of grandpa's had chairs, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Dh pretty much has the whole basement as "his". He does have a chair down there, which I suppose he may have kicked the kids out of once or twice, but he'd never kick me out of it, if, for some odd reason, I happened to be sitting in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 My husband does not, but did in the past. I do have a spot and everyone is expected to move out of it if I want it. My father did. Hubby's father did. OH, hubby does have his chair in his "man-cave." One day, he was in it when I went to go pout outside til he got home. I didn't ask him to move. LOL Honestly, if one of my KIDS felt particularly strongly about a spot, we'd do similarly out of respect. Of course, no one could be ugly about it. Of course, no one would be ugly about it because everyone else would readily let someone else have it if they felt strongly about it. Anyway, we're Jehovah's Witness so pretty conservative. Not sure what that has to do with having a preference in seats in a livingroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted July 9, 2012 Author Share Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) I asked about religion because I am wondering how much of the designated chair thing comes from a patriarchal or preferential treatment of the man. My dh's dad has a chair, and no one ever sits in it. It points directly toward the tv. His wife has to turn her neck to see the tv or lie sideways. Kids would jump out of chair if dad came home. I just realized this is an issue in my house. If I want to sit my desk, and one of the kids is sitting there, I ask them to move. Sometimes I grab the laptop and take it somewhere else if I don't want to bother them. I didn't realize my dh expected the kids to get out immediately when he got home, assuming they have no respect for him. He often lies on the couch when he gets home, so I don't think anyone has ever thought much of it. Also, in dh's family, his mom started making dinner when she got home from work. I guess she didn't need a recliner to rest in as she didn't rest as much. Honestly, thinking about it, I almost never sit in the living area to relax; if I am in there, it's on the couch during school time. Edited July 9, 2012 by nestof3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 We have two living areas. Upstairs - I have a huge rocker recliner that is generally mine (or my tiny chiuaua's). The kids are welcome to sit in it, but if I want it - they need to get out of it. Dh rarely sits in our upstairs sitting area unless we have company. Downstairs - where we watch tv mostly - dh has a rocking chair and I have one end of the couch that reclines. Our kids know that if we are down there - those seats are ours. If we are watching something all together, my dd gets the other reclining seat on the couch and my youngest ds gets the huge beanbag. ETA - my dh also has a "mancave" (an extra bedroom) - he has a lazyboy rocker in there where he uses his laptop, etc. Nobody really goes in there unless we are in there with him talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwallowTail Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) This reminds me of All in the Family. Archie had his own chair. :lol: My dh has his own chair at his desk in the office, as do I. In the living room, we have a couch and loveseat, and a lovely chair that no one sits in at all. We have not encountered any issues surrounding chairs. Oh - his dad does have his chair at his house. I think he prefers for no one else to sit in it, but most people give way to him without anything having to be said. It's mostly about a comfort thing for him rather than a hierarchical thing though. Edited July 9, 2012 by SwallowTail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 What does religion have to do with a fave chair? :confused: Hubby has his recliner parked in direct view of the tv. We know when he gets home to move over as he wants to watch his ESPN or FOX News. LOL I have my recliner next to him. Son knows to scoot over and let me kick my feet up to watch my shows too. Son has the sofa recliner to doze off or sit on when all 3 of us are in the room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No chair in our house. No patriarchy either. :D And we don't have ANY furniture pointed to a TV. Bookshelf? Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy in Indy Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 I'm the one with a chair in our house. I don't care if others sit in it, but they know that it's "mine" and to move when I want it. It's the only recliner in the house, and I have issues with swelling if I don't put my feet up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 ETA: This is based on the fact that we have plenty of seating. But not everybody does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 This reminds me of All in the Family. Archie had his own chair. :lol: . Yeah, exactly. I was just thinking about that show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galatea Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Funny story. My husband loves his recliner in the playroom/tv room. He will ask the boys to move if they are sitting in it. (They are 17 and 15 now.) One day I was sitting in it. My husband was coming with his dinner ( he gets home later many times and wants to eat dinner and watch a MASH to relax before he does stuff around the house.) and my 15 yo told me I better move as dad would want his chair. I told him that no he wouldn't. I said, he will come in, see I'm there and decide that he will sit on the couch as it won't be a big deal and he knows I am comfortable. He argued with me as dad always makes him move. So he came in, saw I was there and sat on the couch. We all started laughing and then I got up and told him he could sit there that I was just proving a point. I move out of the chair NOT because he would make me move, but because I know he likes the chair. I love him and want him to be comfortable. He loves me and wants me to be comfortable so didn't ask me to move, even though he would rather have sat in the chair! Marraige means giving up your comfort/rights on both sides. Sometimes it is him, sometimes me. :iagree: This is how we are. My husband has never asked me to move from his chair, but he has asked the teenage kids from youth group and he asks our daughter to move. I think of it as a "respect for adults" issue more than a "respect for a man" issue. I guess I wouldn't think of it as religious at all because patriarchy has almost always existed regardless of the particular religion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Dh doesn't really have a chair. He has a favorite but it isn't what he always uses. I do have a chair and I don't recall anyone ever sitting in it yet. I have gone through two recliners, both caused me severe neck pain. I shoppEd for a chair which would help as my neck pain causes migrAines. I am not possessive of my chair but my family does leave it open for me. I never asked them to! Our new sectional is extremely comfortable with the over-sized ottoman-as-coffee table so I guess nobody cares about my chair.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 What are his expectations regarding it? (not including kitchen/dining chairs) Does he expect the kids to get out of it when he comes home? Does he read not getting out of the chair without being told as disrespect? Does he expect you to get out of it when he is around? If you are a man, just answer for yourself. Also, as the woman, do you have a specific chair and have similar expectations? Let me clarify that this isn't about anyone sitting on the floor. :) If you are comfortable, could you also state: 1. If this practice was held in man's house when he was a kid 2. Religion (if any) of man Please don't answer if this offends you or if you feel it is too private :) Neither dh nor I have such a chair, but we did, I would find it perfectly reasonable to expect anyone else in the family to give up that chair willingly without being asked so that the "owner" might sit there. Everyone in my house is treated with respect, but we are not equals. We are Christian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 I have the chair. I expect DD to move when I ask her to. I don't expect her to move without being asked or consider it disrespectful. She can use the chair until I want it. The chair is just my happy place. I don't know why. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) No specific chair or spot. We are Christian. He wasn't raised that way, but as his mom and dad got older they developed have specific health issues(and his mom has severe mobility problems) that, I guess, requires specific seating. They havecertain chairs at their house, but if my 3 year old steals one it's not a big deal. For their comfort DH or I will find some pretext to kick the kid out of their chairs. If we were direct they would be bothered by that. His dad was Catholic and his mom is...angry at the idea of religion. Definitely no patriarchy in that home. We had a recliner growing up that my dad liked, but it wasn't his. Occasionally my mom would tell us to get out before he got home or came in if he needed to put his feet up. Our family has a long standing game of "steal a person's chair as soon as they get up", so we're not the group to be annoyed by not having our preferred seat. I was raised without religion period. Somewhat patriarchal maybe, my dad has the final say. When the grandparents are here, we do defer to them since we have limited seating. Generally though, my parents prefer the floor to play with the kids and get annoyed at being treated like "the elderly relative". They are in their early 50's. ETA: I have a rocker I nurse dd in and it's the most comfortable spot for that, it's the only chair that provides great back support for me. I will kick people out if it's time to feed her. :) Edited July 9, 2012 by MrsBasil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) What are his expectations regarding it? (not including kitchen/dining chairs) Does he expect the kids to get out of it when he comes home? Does he read not getting out of the chair without being told as disrespect? Does he expect you to get out of it when he is around? If you are a man, just answer for yourself. Also, as the woman, do you have a specific chair and have similar expectations? Let me clarify that this isn't about anyone sitting on the floor. :) If you are comfortable, could you also state: 1. If this practice was held in man's house when he was a kid 2. Religion (if any) of man Please don't answer if this offends you or if you feel it is too private :) No to all of the above. DH jokes that if we get a recliner, it's his when he's home. ;) But it's more of a 'Ooh, I get the comfy seat!' type thing. :D I've also said that when he's not there, it's mine. As if I'm free to relax in a recliner all the time. ;) We kind of have places that we gravitate to, that we say are 'our seats' - DH on one end of the couch (next to the lamp and a coaster for his drink), and if I even sit on the couch it's me on the other (for a coaster for my drink lol). The kids usually pile up in the middle. We'll come back and be like, 'hey, get outta my seat!' But again, this isn't what you are talking about. :) Oh...We're pentecostal. Edited July 9, 2012 by PeacefulChaos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommee & Baba Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Yes. But we both do! Just this year we purchased ourselves each a pair of nice rocker recliners! DH & I have the same expectations when it comes to "our chair". I expect the kids to ask before just plopping down in the chairs. They are often told yes by me and yes by dad, unless it's during the evening hours then they get more no's from us. The kids each have a spot on the sofa too though. My dh is very respectful as I am about the seating arrangement. We have seats that we each like at the dinner table too. My FIL and BOTH of my parents had a chair. We don't do this because of religion or because of feeling like we as the adults have higher standing in the home (although we do of course), but we don't treat our kids like they are any less than we are. This is just a personal decision we made this past year and the kids each wanted their own spot on the new sofa we bought the same time we bought the chairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Ha! No! But "I" have a chair .... and it's MINE MINE MINE! Kids are expected to vacate MY CHAIR when I go to sit down or they get The Look.... It's MY CHAIR because it has a raised foot that I can prop my bad leg up on and a table beside it for my laptop. DH does not have a chair. When he sits in the living room, he prefers to sprawl on the sofa with pillows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 No, we do not have assigned seating here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 :lol: This makes me think of Archie Bunker. I don't own enough furniture for anyone to stake out their own. I have a dinning room table and a couch. That is it for sitting. Is there a religion that sanctifies a man's chair? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Dh has a favorite chair. I have a favorite chair (the one in front of my laptop).:blushing: Ds has his favorite spot on the couch. Dd usually sits on the floor even though there is more seating available because she likes to roll around and do gymnastics moves while she watches t.v. If someone is sitting in any of our favorite spots we sit somewhere else. If there were a particular reason why we needed our spot (like I needed to get to my laptop) we would ask the person nicely to move. And no, the fact that they were sitting in the chair would not be seen as disrespectful. It is a chair, not a throne. (Our throne is down the hall and to the right.:D) Dh is a pastor, fwiw, which I think is about 2 cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) YES, YES, YES!!! It is funny because when we got married (we didn't live together first), we decided to use my furniture because it was in excellent shape and his wasn't. Well, he is a mechanic and farmer...need I say more? He totally ruined the microsuede of the couches. We bought a new house and I wanted nice furniture for our livingroom. We were picking out furniture and I picked a nice dark green color and they didn't have a recliner to match so I said "go sit in a recliner and pick one, any color as long as it's brown!" I wanted it brown because it semi-goes with our furniture and it will hide dirt. That is the ONLY chair he is allowed to sit in if he is dirty and he knows it!!! I am not usually bossy towards my husband but I am not letting $4K worth of furniture get ruined. I also implemented a no shoes in the house rule because our new house has cream colored carpet and I don't want it ruined. The only kid that sits in it daddy's chair is the 3yo and when daddy wants it, he just picks her up and sits her on his lap. I can't say I have even ever sat in it. I also have a chair. It is actually a chair and 1/2 because I usually have a kid sitting with me. I will kick anyone out of my chair when I want to sit down and will do so without qualms. It has an ottoman infront of it and it is my spot. We have a couch and a loveseat and the other kids can sit there. I only sit on the couch if I want to take a nap for a few seconds. Edited July 10, 2012 by misidawnrn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoLuRu Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 This whole concept is foreign to me. We have enough chairs/spots on the couch for everyone to sit, but no one has assigned seating. Growing up, my dad had a chair he usually sat in (a recliner) but if someone else was in it, he sat somewhere else without any complaints or issues. DH and I were both raised in Christian homes but are agnostic now. The whole thing makes me think of Sheldon Cooper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Both of us have kind of our own spots on the couch and will sometimes tell kids to scoot if they happen to be sitting there when one of us wants to sit down. But we don't have exclusive ownership or anything. I guess the closest thing to 'his chair' would be the so-called Comfy Chair, which is an ancient hand-me-down recliner with an ill-fitting slipcover. I hate the thing but he doesn't want to get rid of it, nor do the kids. Sigh. We are LDS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tristangrace Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No. No favorite chairs for anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Dh and I each have our favored spots. The kids vacate the spots if we come in and they're sitting in 'our' spots. However, when guests are over, I actually sit elsewhere, giving my chair to a guest. I think it's the best seat in the house and I want guests to feel welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I have a couple favorite chairs in the house. Dh doesn't really have any. His dad has one, mine doesn't. We go to a Baptist church as do his parents. My parents are Messianic and they come from a Jewish background. The kids will vacate my chairs usually if I'm coming, but it's not mandatory and if they are doing something, well I find somewhere else to sit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 DH has a computer and desk in his room that is generally his, but he shares with me. I try to keep the kids away and keep it clean in that area (since the rest of the house has kid's stuff everywhere). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Yes, dh has his "chair." But, it is really a set-up thing. It is a recliner and has 2 tables set up in such a way that they house his tech center (laptop, extra monitor and other computery looking things) AND is in front of a tv. :lol: Dh cannot just sit in front of the tv. He always has to be doing something else techy at the same time. So, yeah, it's daddy's set up and everyone knows it. :D Now, the kids love to sit there just because it's daddy's chair. If when he is home at lunch or at the end of the day, and a child is lingering in the chair then he light-heartedly says "get out of my chair, meat head" (from that show All In the Family). Dd will run and jump in the chair right before dh gets in the door just to have that exchange take place. :rolleyes: He only gets upset if a dc is trying to somersault over the back or use the leg piece as a catapult. I generally sit in 1 of 2 places. Our living room comfortably sits 6 and placement has never been an issue. Dh did not grow up with a father in the home. We are Christian on the conservative side, but we are not hardcore patriarchal or anything like that. Dh and I are quite even in the home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Nope, things are first come first serve at our house, but my parents and inlaws have their own chairs. They do not kick anyone out if someone is sitting their though lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I haven't read all of the responses, but my DH does have a chair. The recliner is "his." If he wants it, he does require the children to vacate it (or let him sit down and then they can climb in his lap), but he doesn't demand for me to move if I'm sitting in it or anything like that. This has nothing to do with religion. Growing up, my mom had a spot on the couch that was "hers." lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Dh has a recliner. *I* sit in it. :lol: He doesn't care. I'm not sure what religion has to do with it, but we are Christians. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 My dad had/has a chair that MUST be vacated when he enters the room. Without exception. My kids didn't believe me when I told them they had to get out of Grandpa's chair when he came downstairs. They found out I was serious pretty fast. :lol: My father is Roman Catholic, but I'm not sure that has anything to do with it. I think it has more to do with he fact that he's Italian. 100%. :lol: My dh does not have a chair and no one is required to vacate where they are sitting when he comes into the room. Neither does my FIL. They are both LDS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 What are his expectations regarding it? (not including kitchen/dining chairs) Does he expect the kids to get out of it when he comes home? Does he read not getting out of the chair without being told as disrespect? Does he expect you to get out of it when he is around? If you are a man, just answer for yourself. Also, as the woman, do you have a specific chair and have similar expectations? Let me clarify that this isn't about anyone sitting on the floor. :) If you are comfortable, could you also state: 1. If this practice was held in man's house when he was a kid 2. Religion (if any) of man Please don't answer if this offends you or if you feel it is too private :) Yes, My DH has a chair at the dinner table that is to be vacated as soon as he walks into the room, and he has a recliner chair in the lounge-room, same thing. I have a chair at the dining table, in fact every member of the family sits in their pace at the dining table. In the living room only DH has his spot. I very rarely sit and watch television. this practice ( of the man of the house having his own seat) is a practice that both my DH and I had when we were children. We are from opposite sides of the world, and grew up with completely different religions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 DH and I have favorite spots on the sectional in the family room, which is where we watch tv. What are his expectations regarding it? (not including kitchen/dining chairs) There are no expectations that I know of. Does he expect the kids to get out of it when he comes home? No. Sometimes he asks them to move, sometimes he finds himself a different spot on the couch. I think it depends on who is watching the tv at the time. If the kids have one of their shows on or we are watching a family show, like The Middle, he doesn't ask to sit in his favorite spot. But if DH and I are watching one of our shows, say White Collar, he will ask them to please move so that he can watch. Does he read not getting out of the chair without being told as disrespect? No. If he wants someone to move, he asks nicely. Does he expect you to get out of it when he is around? No. When I sit in his favorite spot, he just sits in what he considers the next best spot, which is my favorite place to sit (but I disagree that it's the second best spot :tongue_smilie:) Also, as the woman, do you have a specific chair and have similar expectations? I have the same expectations as DH. Usually I don't care, unless it's a show only DH and I enjoy. Let me clarify that this isn't about anyone sitting on the floor. If you are comfortable, could you also state: 1. If this practice was held in man's house when he was a kid I have no idea what went on in terms of seating in his childhood home. 2. Religion (if any) of man DH is agnostic; I am Christian, Catholic to be exact. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Yes, we both have preferred seating. Yes, kids move for us when asked. (and for any other elder for that matter) Yes, this was the case for both of us growing up. No, it had nothing to do with religion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Embassy Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 No, no chair. His father has a chair, but is flexible about who sits there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Element Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 What are his expectations regarding it? (not including kitchen/dining chairs) Does he expect the kids to get out of it when he comes home? Does he read not getting out of the chair without being told as disrespect? Does he expect you to get out of it when he is around? If you are a man, just answer for yourself. Also, as the woman, do you have a specific chair and have similar expectations? Let me clarify that this isn't about anyone sitting on the floor. :) If you are comfortable, could you also state: 1. If this practice was held in man's house when he was a kid 2. Religion (if any) of man Please don't answer if this offends you or if you feel it is too private :) Okay, I'm going to answer these questions without reading ANY replies first. YES, dh has "his chair." Yes, he expects the kids to get out of it when he comes home. Yes, he reads it as as disrespect when the kids don't get out of his chair without being asked first. NO, he does not expect me to get out of it. I mean, maybe he thinks I should but he knows better than to ever say anything like that to me. I think the whole "dad's chair" think is totally silly. Completely. For the longest time I thought he was kidding about "get out of my chair." Nope. I do not have "a chair." I picked out every piece of furniture we have and I wouldn't have picked something out if I didn't like sitting in it. A chair is a chair is a chair. Yes, this exact practice was held in his house when he was a kid. He was fundamentalist Christian when we married. He is agnostic now. The chair thing has stayed the same throughout our entire decade together. Religion had nothing to do with it. Sigh. This is not a hill I'm willing to die on. Or even fight on. Just a hill I glance toward every once and a while and roll my eyes at. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 (edited) DH has a chair, and the kids get out of it when he comes into the room. Yes, it is considered disrespectful to NOT get up and out of his chair without being told. Even the dog gets up out of that chair when DH comes into a room. DH is Unitarian raised Lutheran, and yes his father had a chair too, and kids were expected to give him his chair when he came into a room. Yes, I have a chair and yes the kids better get out of it when I come into the room or it is considered disrespectful (and dangerous). I am also Unitarian, raised Methodist. Yes, my mom had a chair too, and we were expected to get out of her chair when she came into the room. It isn't about the chair, though. Dh has his 'stuff' organized by his chair, his home reading glasses, magazines, WOW authentication key, ect. He wants to be next to his stuff. I have my 'stuff' organized by my chair, knitting, magazines, ect. and I want to be next to my stuff. It has nothing to do with the chair or how comfortable the chair is, it's all about where our stuff is. We both figure this is one of the few perks we get as the adults in the house. It has nothing to do with religion either. The kids have their usual places too, but only the adult daughter who is staying with us currently has her own chair that the other kids are expected to get out of for her. She has her 'stuff' by that chair. I guess that the argument could be made that we shouldn't keep personal 'stuff' in or on an end table, or that we should be more flexible about picking up our 'stuff' and taking it to another seat....but why? We're adults and we are more comfortable this way. I like my 'stuff' where it is. When the other kids become adults they can pick a chair....:) Edited July 10, 2012 by Rainefox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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