HappyLady Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 What do you think of this word? Do you let your children use it? Do they have to be a certain age to start saying it? My 4 year old just recently started saying, "What the heck?" Something she picked up from a 7 year old that's never disciplined. :glare: I don't really think it's bad if a teenager or even a pre-teen says it, but a 4 year old? It just doesn't seem right to me and I keep telling her not to say it. Am I being too strict? I do my best to make sure my kids have good manners so "what the heck" just doesn't sit well with me. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillyMama Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I probably would cringe, too. But some of my piano students (ages 5-7) say it and their parents don't seem to mind. I also have friends who post on FB "funny" stories of their under-5 year olds using REAL curse words. Ick. I think if it bothers you, stop it. Who cares if others think it's too strict, it will distract you every time you hear it. I had to break my kids of Darnit when they were 4, which they've picked up from a grandparent. My husband thought I was crazy, but was just annoying to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddykate Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It isn't allowed in our house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I think of it as a minced oath. It's been used in place of the h-e-double-tooth-picks word, but more lately so many people are using the expression, "What the (insert horrible word)?" that when I hear the first two words, I start to wince. I try to redirect without focusing on Don't Say THAT! Too much attention and it becomes like the big pink elephant you tell people not to think about - once you mention it, it's all they can think about, kwim?!! I just try to not say it myself so my little one doesn't copy mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I think it is a word that has as much power as you choose to give it. It wouldn't register as an issue if I heard your four year old say it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Didn't Opie used to say, "Oh, heck no!" Or was that Greg Brady? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I think of it as a minced oath. It's been used in place of the h-e-double-tooth-picks word, ... I just try to not say it myself so my little one doesn't copy mom. :iagree: It simply replaces that word so, to me, it's just as bad. Sort of like saying, "What the freak?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 My son uses "What the heck" all the time. I think he picked it up in Scouts. The difference is that he's 12. I see what you mean about a 4 yo saying it. I don't think I would have allowed it, if he had started it then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 wouldn't bother me in the least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBirdX7 Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 A few years ago we had a heck battle brought on by the constant (if I remember right) use of the word in High School Musical (you can stop laughing now). I gave up when a few months later we watched the entire Leave It to Beaver series and in 1950something "HECK" was Wally's favorite word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kertie Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I find "what on earth?" to be a nice substitute. But then, I have a Tintin reader who shocked all the neighbor kids when he was 5 by saying"billions of blue blistering barnacles!" to express the "wth" emotion. I was fortunate enough to see their faces--they totally thought he'd just said something REALLY bad. :D He also went through a phase where he'd say, "what the..." and just trail off. o.O I just told him it didn't sound polite, and that "what on earth" was better. I agree about redirecting without making an issue--esp. at 4. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 What do you think of this word? Do you let your children use it? Do they have to be a certain age to start saying it? My 4 year old just recently started saying, "What the heck?" Something she picked up from a 7 year old that's never disciplined. :glare: I don't really think it's bad if a teenager or even a pre-teen says it, but a 4 year old? It just doesn't seem right to me and I keep telling her not to say it. Am I being too strict? I do my best to make sure my kids have good manners so "what the heck" just doesn't sit well with me. Thoughts? This is the part I don't understand. If something is offensive to you, then it is offensive. Why should the age of the offender matter? I don't tell my kids that words are bad. I teach them that words offend or that they aren't appropriate. When they encounter a word they don't know or understand, I explain it in age-appropriate terms and let them know if it is a word that people use as an insult or to offend other people. I haven't yet had a problem with a kid using offensive language. For something like an annoying phrase, I just try to let it blow over because they usually do, or I rephrase what they say into something more acceptable (this takes a lot of repeats until the new phrase sticks). Now if I could only get my dh to stop adding the word "supposedly" to every other sentence he says, my life will be much calmer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 :iagree: It simply replaces that word so, to me, it's just as bad. Sort of like saying, "What the freak?" :iagree: Never allowed in our home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I'd not allow it either...In fact, I've had to get onto my four yo son for saying it because I think in one of the Toy Story movies Woody might say it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 A few years ago we had a heck battle brought on by the constant (if I remember right) use of the word in High School Musical (you can stop laughing now). I gave up when a few months later we watched the entire Leave It to Beaver series and in 1950something "HECK" was Wally's favorite word. That's who I was thinking about! :tongue_smilie: Thanks. It was was driving me crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Doesn't bother me in the least. I say heck. Generally "What the heck?" and if something's really something I say "Oh, my heck!" Adrian (4 in 3 weeks) has picked up on me saying "What the heck?" and we think it's rather adorable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Doesn't bother me in the least. I say heck. Generally "What the heck?" and if something's really something I say "Oh, my heck!" Adrian (4 in 3 weeks) has picked up on me saying "What the heck?" and we think it's rather adorable. In the TV show Little House, I do remember Laura saying something about 'catching heck'. Maybe it's regional. It doesn't bother me, ftr, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KirstenH Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It wouldn't occur to me to be bothered by "heck." In fact, when DS7 was in public school, it annoyed me that they made EVERYTHING into a "bad word." Shut up. Stupid. Dumb. Crap. Butt. Okay, fine, maybe these aren't NICE words to use with people, but they're not cuss words. Telling kids that perfectly valid words are curse words when they're not just bugs me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeetime Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 "What the heck" doesn't bother me in the least. However, I tell my kids that they can't do the "What the...." without putting a word in there. To me just trailing off sounds like you're thinking a word too dirty to say. ;) Funny thing is my oldest started saying "bleep" as a swear word... like he was bleeping himself out. I'm trying to end that one as well. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I passed "heck" so long ago it's not even on my radar anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It doesn't bother me in the least and if I ever heard a friend IRL correct her children for saying something as totally innocent as "heck" I'd be totally inwardly rolling my eyes. I mean, really? Heck? Geez. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Heck doesn't bother me. We say what the heck here, but we don't tell people to go to heck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I'm not fond of it, but it's not one of the battles I choose to fight right now (my kids are 5). They have heard me say worse things. It's hard to explain to a young child just what is wrong with "heck." I think I'd be more likey to address it if they were older and could understand why it grates. That said, I'm pretty sure I wasn't allowed to say it when I was little. Same for dumb, fart, and various other words that most parents are not picky about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJ. Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I don't think it would bother me. I am definitely bothered when I hear someone say What the..... I anticipate hearing something that starts with an F to follow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 "What the heck" doesn't bother me in the least. However, I tell my kids that they can't do the "What the...." without putting a word in there. To me just trailing off sounds like you're thinking a word too dirty to say. ;) Funny thing is my oldest started saying "bleep" as a swear word... like he was bleeping himself out. I'm trying to end that one as well. :lol: In my house it's "cuss." The Fantastic Mr. Fox movie, anyone? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I'm not offended by swearing, unless it is just repeated over and over or for no reason. Yesterday DS was having a horrible day because his Minecraft was not cooperating :lol: We were in the car on the way to the post office and he kept talking about it on and on and on....then just said "It's just being sh*tty to me." I just looked at him and asked him if he realized what he said. Where is the bag over head smiley :tongue_smilie: I don't have a foul mouth, but it slips sometimes. THey know to never use bad language around others, because we care about our image. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
---- Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappyhappymama Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 We try to avoid euphemisms like 'heck' in our house. But we do tell our kids that it's our own family rule and that just because someone else says it doesn't make them BAD. Some things I just think sound uncouth coming from sweet little mouths. Several of my boys have started saying "What the..." with nothing afterwards. I think they picked it up from Cars. But I discourage it, because it just encourages the listener to fill in the blank. On the other hand, my two year old says "what in the world?!" and it's adorable. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I didn't realize anyone would consider heck a swear word. Heck, darn, shoot, geesh, etc... aren't encouraged, but we wouldn't make a big deal out of them. Now, cr*p and s*ck bother me. Jerk is the word that sends me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It doesn't bother me. Cursing doesn't bother me either unless it is excessive or completely pointless. :iagree: I passed "heck" so long ago it's not even on my radar anymore. :lol: Yep. Me too. The only think I'll say is that I have taught my kids that these words - both the really dirty ones, and the subs for dirty ones like heck, bother some people and to respect and be aware of that. But they're just words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Heck is no big deal here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It wouldn't occur to me to be bothered by "heck." In fact, when DS7 was in public school, it annoyed me that they made EVERYTHING into a "bad word." Shut up. Stupid. Dumb. Crap. Butt. Okay, fine, maybe these aren't NICE words to use with people, but they're not cuss words. Telling kids that perfectly valid words are curse words when they're not just bugs me. :iagree: Funny thing is my oldest started saying "bleep" as a swear word... like he was bleeping himself out. I'm trying to end that one as well. :lol: ha! One of mine does that too! We found it very funny that closed captioning does it too. We were watching Hell's Kitchen and I had muted the tv to take a phone call. Our tv automatic,y switches to closed captioning when you hit mute. So we see the scrolling diatribe of Chef Ramsey. "what the BLEEP and you Bleep bleep bleep doing with the bleep bleep sauce in this bleep bleep bleep kitchen you bleep?!":lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I didn't realize anyone would consider heck a swear word. Heck, darn, shoot, geesh, etc... aren't encouraged, but we wouldn't make a big deal out of them. Now, cr*p and s*ck bother me. Jerk is the word that sends me. It's freakin' or frickin' for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 We don't say it, and my boys don't say it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 My ds4 has a habit of saying "Heck is that!?". Makes me laugh every time he says it. Wouldn't bother me at all. A word is what you make of it no less. There were times a loooooong time ago where certain words meant something totally different than they do now. Like "Sweet", "Hot" and "Gay". The only word I really take issue with is the "F" word and the "B" word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 These conversations always remind me of two shows. Recess and the creation of the word Whomps. And Friends and the fist smack. :tongue_smilie: I freely admit that we use the word Whomps here. But we make up words all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I don't allow my dc to use "tweaked" swear words (dang, gosh, heck, freak, etc.). To me it sounds bad no matter what the age of the person. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeetime Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 In my house it's "cuss." The Fantastic Mr. Fox movie, anyone? :D YES! Love Fantastic Mr. Fox.... My dh and brother both say "cuss" around the kids lol! :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I don't like any substitutions from little kids... My children are not allowed to use them. The only time I think I said "heck" in childhood was, "Oh, heck, he's up to my neck" (I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I find "what on earth?" to be a nice substitute. But then, I have a Tintin reader who shocked all the neighbor kids when he was 5 by saying"billions of blue blistering barnacles!" to express the "wth" emotion. I was fortunate enough to see their faces--they totally thought he'd just said something REALLY bad. :D He also went through a phase where he'd say, "what the..." and just trail off. o.O I just told him it didn't sound polite, and that "what on earth" was better. I agree about redirecting without making an issue--esp. at 4. :iagree: Occasionally one of my boys will get into the habit of 'what the...' and I seriously hate it. Pinkalicious says 'What in the world?' which is really cute (that and, 'Oh. My. Word.' :D ) It wouldn't occur to me to be bothered by "heck." In fact, when DS7 was in public school, it annoyed me that they made EVERYTHING into a "bad word." Shut up. Stupid. Dumb. Crap. Butt. Okay, fine, maybe these aren't NICE words to use with people, but they're not cuss words. Telling kids that perfectly valid words are curse words when they're not just bugs me. I couldn't agree more. We have people who we are acquaintances with, and stupid is a bad word for them, and shut up, etc. There are others (that, if I remember correctly, are even more eyeroll worthy!) but I can't remember them off the top of my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeetime Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 ha! One of mine does that too! We found it very funny that closed captioning does it too. We were watching Hell's Kitchen and I had muted the tv to take a phone call. Our tv automatic,y switches to closed captioning when you hit mute. So we see the scrolling diatribe of Chef Ramsey. "what the BLEEP and you Bleep bleep bleep doing with the bleep bleep sauce in this bleep bleep bleep kitchen you bleep?!":lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It doesn't bother me at all, nor would it bother me if I heard a four-year-old use it. It wouldn't even be on my radar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountitallJoy Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It doesn't bother me in the least and if I ever heard a friend IRL correct her children for saying something as totally innocent as "heck" I'd be totally inwardly rolling my eyes. I mean, really? Heck? Geez. :iagree: You took the words right outta my fingers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherAtticus Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 only time i use heck is when i am quoting Dilbert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I say it. My children say it. One was saying it at age 3. I have been too busy trying to figure out if the 4 year old with a speech issue is saying "d@mn it" to bother with a non-swear word. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It wouldn't occur to me to be bothered by "heck." In fact, when DS7 was in public school, it annoyed me that they made EVERYTHING into a "bad word." Shut up. Stupid. Dumb. Crap. Butt. Okay, fine, maybe these aren't NICE words to use with people, but they're not cuss words. Telling kids that perfectly valid words are curse words when they're not just bugs me. I remember when one of my kindergarten students came crying to me because one of the other girls said (gasp, sniffle) "the s word." I was a bit startled, thinking what it might be. It turned out that the girl had told her to "shut up." I think "heck" is not the worst thing a 4 year old could say, but I don't find it impressive. However, my kids were asking me about "sparting." A neighbor girl taught them this word, so they said. When they described it, I had to tell them it was "farting." One of them refuses to believe me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pbb119 Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Not a big deal for us. I wouldn't think anything of a 4 yr old using it. I am EXTREMELY strict about some things, and then there are some battles I just don't even deal with. Heck, IMO, is not disrespectful. I guess that is where I draw the line. Say "idiot", "shut up", "whatever", "retard", etc. things that are disrespectful, insensitive, and/or rude and that is the kind of stuff that I jump all over my children for. As long as they are saying please and thank you and ma'am and sir and excuse me, then "what the heck" is no issue for me. It is more about the tone and the respect, not the word. I know that there is no way to use the *F* word respectfully, so I am not saying that is the case for ALL word. Also, I HATE potty talk. It is disgusting and put a halt to that, too. With 3 boys, that can get totally out of hand!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Heck is on their "word list" In fact we sing with it how can you sing "how in the heck can I wash my neck" without that word. Crap is also on the approved word list *the word list is an ongoing family joke that goes back to when we were kids. My sister said a bad word and my mom pretended to check her list to see if that word was allowed. It was not on the list. Anyway it has stuck around ever since so when the kids try to slip in a bad or rude word I usually remind them it is not on their word list. Or if another child tattles that my kids said something that I deem not a big deal I usually answer with "that's okay it's on their word list" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It wouldn't occur to me to be bothered by "heck." In fact, when DS7 was in public school, it annoyed me that they made EVERYTHING into a "bad word." Shut up. Stupid. Dumb. Crap. Butt. Okay, fine, maybe these aren't NICE words to use with people, but they're not cuss words. Telling kids that perfectly valid words are curse words when they're not just bugs me. :iagree:This is what had ds8 in trouble so much at cub scouts. He was being punished all the time for swearing, when he never swore. A kid would hear him say a not nice word and they would tell that he swore and he would be punished, though the leader never asked what the word was. Definitely not nice words and they didn't belong at cub scouts but he could never figure out what he did wrong because the focus was on not swearing and he never swore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It doesn't bother me, but I do ask my kids to not swear even like that around groups of people. I don't want anyone to be offended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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