JeneralMom Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 A friend is a photographer, but she likes to bring her camera to homeschool park day and take candids of the kids. She then sends the pics to me and allows me to upload them to FB as long as I credit her. Well, she recently took some really cute pics of the girls and I posted them to wonderful comments from everyone. That is, until this morning, when my Dad's wife (who I actually adore and get along well with but she has only seen my boys twice and my girls once - same as my Dad, as they live far away) posted the following - " They look like angels but we know otherwise..." My feelings are really hurt. My kids are actually really well-behaved but they get excited when they see my Dad and her so they are affectionate and talkative. My Dad and his wife are supportive of our parenting choices and our choice to homeschool so I really shouldn't complain, but it bothered me. Below is the photo she commented on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Well as a stepmom, I'd say that was in poor taste for your stepmom to post that. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheila in OK Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Could she have been joking? It is hard for 'tone' to come through on the internet. BTW your kids are adorable! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Oh curly cuteness!! I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. They ARE little angels! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I'm sorry! I know how hurtful comments can be. Your kids are adorable, btw. If it makes you feel any better, I got a text at 7:30 this morning and my day has spiraled down from there. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 :grouphug: My first reaction is to blame her comment on a pissy mood she may be in? I give people as many excuses as I possibly can until they prove to me that they're being inconsiderate, but I can totally see how your feelings would be hurt, they're adorable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeetime Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 :glare: People really should think before they hit that "comment" button. I would just delete the comment, if I were you. Then you don't have to see it under that sweet pic of your girls. Who, by the way, ARE adorable. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofsbandeg Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 we have a good relationship as well. I think she thinks that she is being funny, however I don't think it is funny at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary in VA Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Unless there is some reason to believe otherwise I would think she is just joking. As a PP said, you really can't tell tone in the internet. If she has put a smiley face after it would clearly be a joke. But :grouphug::grouphug: anyway. It is hard to tell with just letters on a page. Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Oh, I think she was just joking! "They look like angels, but we know no children are" sort of thing. I wouldn't assume she meant they were bad children -- just delightfully mischievous on occasion, as children ought to be. :) It truly sounds to me like playful online banter. Truly, if you have an otherwise good relationship with this woman, make the assumption that she meant it in a NICE way. Maybe she put it badly. I suspect she would be sorry to learn she had hurt your feelings. But unless you know her to be mean and spiteful, why assume she meant to hurt you or imply that you have horrid children? I'm really sorry your feelings were hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Oh, I think she was just joking! "They look like angels, but we know no children are" sort of thing. I wouldn't assume she meant they were bad children -- just delightfully mischievous on occasion, as children ought to be. :) It truly sounds to me like playful online banter. Truly, if you have an otherwise good relationship with this woman, make the assumption that she meant it in a NICE way. Maybe she put it badly. I suspect she would be sorry to learn she had hurt your feelings. But unless you know her to be mean and spiteful, why assume she meant to hurt you or imply that you have horrid children? I'm really sorry your feelings were hurt. :iagree: My children are good children but they aren't angels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Oh, I think she was just joking! "They look like angels, but we know no children are" sort of thing. I wouldn't assume she meant they were bad children -- just delightfully mischievous on occasion, as children ought to be. :) It truly sounds to me like playful online banter. Truly, if you have an otherwise good relationship with this woman, make the assumption that she meant it in a NICE way. Maybe she put it badly. I suspect she would be sorry to learn she had hurt your feelings. But unless you know her to be mean and spiteful, why assume she meant to hurt you or imply that you have horrid children? I'm really sorry your feelings were hurt. :iagree: I wouldn't let something like this affect an otherwise good relationship. I'm sorry it hurt your feelings though! :grouphug: That's a darling picture! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 we have a good relationship as well. I think she thinks that she is being funny, however I don't think it is funny at all. :iagree: Yeah, this is what I think, too. She just doesn't realize how rude she is being. If I had a good relationship with my dad, I'd probably gently let him know that her comment really hurt my feelings and hopefully he could clue her in. Your girls are really cute! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Your kids are beautiful. Stepmom was just being overly familiar....not funny, but I think she was trying to be....ugh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Your kids are so cute! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I think she was just joking. My grandmother used to say that if kids were not at least *some* trouble, then they must not be very smart. She was definitely of the opinion that "trouble" was expected and desired. :) I'm sure if you knew her better or if it had been said in real life, that it would not have come across that way.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Oh, I think she was just joking! "They look like angels, but we know no children are" sort of thing. I wouldn't assume she meant they were bad children -- just delightfully mischievous on occasion, as children ought to be. :) It truly sounds to me like playful online banter. Truly, if you have an otherwise good relationship with this woman, make the assumption that she meant it in a NICE way. Maybe she put it badly. I suspect she would be sorry to learn she had hurt your feelings. But unless you know her to be mean and spiteful, why assume she meant to hurt you or imply that you have horrid children? I'm really sorry your feelings were hurt. I agree. I wouldn't assume it was meant as anything other than a ligth attempt at humour unless I knew her to be otherwise inclined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Oh, I think she was just joking! "They look like angels, but we know no children are" sort of thing. I wouldn't assume she meant they were bad children -- just delightfully mischievous on occasion, as children ought to be. :) It truly sounds to me like playful online banter. Truly, if you have an otherwise good relationship with this woman, make the assumption that she meant it in a NICE way. Maybe she put it badly. I suspect she would be sorry to learn she had hurt your feelings. But unless you know her to be mean and spiteful, why assume she meant to hurt you or imply that you have horrid children? I'm really sorry your feelings were hurt. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I think she meant to be cute too. Sorry your feelings are hurt. Facebook is not the easiest form of communication sometimes. About the picture, the girls are darling! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I would just delete the comment, if I were you. Then you don't have to see it under that sweet pic of your girls. Who, by the way, ARE adorable. :) :iagree: It's a very rude comment, unless the parent knows it's true and agrees. Obviously you don't agree, so delete it! (Is there anything in your blog that would lead her to think that, even though she's only seen them once?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Your kids are cute. It sure would be nice if family could treat each other as well as they treated strangers and friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 we have a good relationship as well. I think she thinks that she is being funny, however I don't think it is funny at all. :iagree: My mother does the same thing. I think she feels the need to make a unique, personal comment instead of repeating the same general "cute!" comments that everyone else would put. It still annoys me but I try to let it go and ignore it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeneralMom Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 I must be really sensitive today because I know she has a dark sense of humour. I know she adores the kids because she used to use pictures and videos of the boys in her lectures (she was a Uni prof). I got some weird comments from people yesterday at the park about the kids (being too polite was one of them if you can imagine) so I think I was looking to see something wrong. Thanks for bringing me back to reality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 She probably thought she was being playful or funny. Delete the comment if you want to and then don't give it another thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 :grouphug: My first reaction is to blame her comment on a pissy mood she may be in? I give people as many excuses as I possibly can until they prove to me that they're being inconsiderate, but I can totally see how your feelings would be hurt, they're adorable. :iagree: Think of it as her internet skills may not be refined or diplomatic also? She may be typing it and later regretting it as many do. I think you need to let this one go. Forgive. But if it happens again... time for a talk and hash it out. She may be too blunt and not aware she is coming across so judgmental? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I totally think she was joking. She's saying something like, "isn't it amazing how kids look so precious and can be such little rascals?" I don't agree with that kind of thinking, btw, kids are precious through and through. Most of them anyway. But my grandma would have absolutely made a joke like that thinking she was being chummy/funny. Also if you get along really well with the woman then I doubly think she was just goofing around. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Your kids are beyond adorable.:grouphug: I’ll be sad once I’m a g-ma…if my g-kids don’t get excited to see me. PS...She sould leave the humor to the professionals; she wasn't witty or funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Oh, I think she was just joking! "They look like angels, but we know no children are" sort of thing. I wouldn't assume she meant they were bad children -- just delightfully mischievous on occasion, as children ought to be. :) It truly sounds to me like playful online banter. Truly, if you have an otherwise good relationship with this woman, make the assumption that she meant it in a NICE way. Maybe she put it badly. I suspect she would be sorry to learn she had hurt your feelings. But unless you know her to be mean and spiteful, why assume she meant to hurt you or imply that you have horrid children? I'm really sorry your feelings were hurt. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 A friend is a photographer, but she likes to bring her camera to homeschool park day and take candids of the kids. She then sends the pics to me and allows me to upload them to FB as long as I credit her. Well, she recently took some really cute pics of the girls and I posted them to wonderful comments from everyone. That is, until this morning, when my Dad's wife (who I actually adore and get along well with but she has only seen my boys twice and my girls once - same as my Dad, as they live far away) posted the following - " They look like angels but we know otherwise..." My feelings are really hurt. My kids are actually really well-behaved but they get excited when they see my Dad and her so they are affectionate and talkative. My Dad and his wife are supportive of our parenting choices and our choice to homeschool so I really shouldn't complain, but it bothered me. Below is the photo she commented on. That sucks, what a jerk. Don't let it get to you, I am so sorry. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pereztribe Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Your kids are so cute. My dd is also very talkative and sometimes it just does not gel with others who come from the "children should be seen and not heard" era. I know my brother is that way. Don't let it affect you. She could have been joking. Take it with a grain of salt and remain blessed in the fact your family is close because of what you're doing as a mommy. Blessings and hugs!!!:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 It's a form of humor I really dislike, but I do think she was probably trying to be funny. Maybe it's a generational thing? When I was growing up, every compliment from my parents was a backhanded one. They could not sincerely say, "I'm proud of you" or "You did a good job on that" to save their lives! If someone else said how good we were, they responded with, "They better be." And if someone called us sweet or angelic, they would most definitely respond with "Yeah, they LOOK sweet . . . " I have to give them credit for being much better these days - the backhanded compliments are usually followed by a muttered, "No, really, you did good," lol. It always did hurt my feelings, and I try really hard to not do the same to my kids. If someone says, "Your girls are beautiful," I say, thank you. If someone says, "Your kids are so good," I say, yes, they are. And I usually respond to other people's backhanded compliments or 'funny' remarks about my kids as well (definitely if it's made in front of them). If my kids weren't on Facebook, I'd probably let this one pass (as she is loving to them). If it were in front of them, I'd probably say that they would always be MY angels :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltop Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Your girls are darling! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 First, your dc are adorable! Second, that comment sounds like something I would say about my own dc in a joking\playful way...because, cute as they are, my dc aren't always angels.:D If you have a good relationship with this person and there is no animosity or angst normally between you then I would blow it off. Oh, and if this person is older - well, older people don't always have the same patience for little ones as us younger folks do.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Well unless she has a history of making mean comments, I'd assume she was making a humorous remark. So i guess it depends on how you normally take her. If she snipes all the time, that was definitely a snipe. If she loves you and the kids, I wouldn't give it a second thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inmyopinion Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Oh, I think she was just joking! "They look like angels, but we know no children are" sort of thing. I wouldn't assume she meant they were bad children -- just delightfully mischievous on occasion, as children ought to be. :) It truly sounds to me like playful online banter. Truly, if you have an otherwise good relationship with this woman, make the assumption that she meant it in a NICE way. Maybe she put it badly. I suspect she would be sorry to learn she had hurt your feelings. But unless you know her to be mean and spiteful, why assume she meant to hurt you or imply that you have horrid children? I'm really sorry your feelings were hurt. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inmyopinion Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 :iagree: My mother does the same thing. I think she feels the need to make a unique, personal comment instead of repeating the same general "cute!" comments that everyone else would put. It still annoys me but I try to let it go and ignore it. My dad often makes these types of comments to be funny and that is just his personality! It gets tiresome after a while but it is how he relates to people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I don't understand why people are seeing this as rude. I think we can say about most children, "They look like angels, but we know they aren't." I mean, unless your children really are angels. But of course they aren't right? My children are very very good, pleasant, awesome children, but angels? No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 That seems like a weird comment for her to make considering she's only seen them once. I guess she was tried to be jokey and it ended up more foot-in-mouth. I had a checker at the grocery store tell me about their e-cart service, where they shop for the groceries for you and bring them out to your car, and she made a comment about how it would be great for me so I wouldn't have to bring my dd along and have her ask for things all the time. I was kind of insulted, because my dd is a big help and she rarely asks for anything, and I felt it was rude of the checker to assume she would be that way. Some people just aren't very tactful. Anyway, your girls are beautiful. My dd has the same pink hoodie your dd is wearing in the pic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I read it as, "If we didn't know otherwise, we would've thought they were angels." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Humor at the expense of others is ALWAYS in poor taste. Whether it was intended 'that way' or not. I'd delete it and move on. Your kids are adorable, BTW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Unless you have a reason to suspect she's being malicious, I'd chalk it up to a complete and utter lack of netiquette. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I don't understand why people are seeing this as rude. I think we can say about most children, "They look like angels, but we know they aren't." I mean, unless your children really are angels. But of course they aren't right? My children are very very good, pleasant, awesome children, but angels? No. Not the OP, but it grates on my nerves because it happens with every picture and every post I put up about my kids saying or doing something sweet or cute. It gets old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Oh, I think she was just joking! "They look like angels, but we know no children are" sort of thing. I wouldn't assume she meant they were bad children -- just delightfully mischievous on occasion, as children ought to be. :) It truly sounds to me like playful online banter. Truly, if you have an otherwise good relationship with this woman, make the assumption that she meant it in a NICE way. Maybe she put it badly. I suspect she would be sorry to learn she had hurt your feelings. But unless you know her to be mean and spiteful, why assume she meant to hurt you or imply that you have horrid children? I'm really sorry your feelings were hurt. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Oh, I think she was just joking! "They look like angels, but we know no children are" sort of thing. I wouldn't assume she meant they were bad children -- just delightfully mischievous on occasion, as children ought to be. :) It truly sounds to me like playful online banter. Truly, if you have an otherwise good relationship with this woman, make the assumption that she meant it in a NICE way. Maybe she put it badly. I suspect she would be sorry to learn she had hurt your feelings. But unless you know her to be mean and spiteful, why assume she meant to hurt you or imply that you have horrid children? I'm really sorry your feelings were hurt. Probably this. That is a common comment about children and I would prob. consider it an attwmpt to be funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Unless there is some reason to believe otherwise I would think she is just joking. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 most of the cliches about children are boring and tedious. But it's one thing to engage in boring, tedious banter about "the hardest job in the world" and "here's little man, isn't he a devil?" and it's another thing to have feelings that are truly and sincerely hurt. I would imagine that most older women who post something like this on a DIL's or Step-daughter's facebook are just trying to engage as part of the family. So I hate to have the OP's feelings really hurt by banter that, while annoying in it's predictability, has no real negative intent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I would also take it as a poorly received joke. I know I've said that about my own boys in a joking manner. Printed words on a page can't translate the smile and the wink behind the words. Just delete her comment and let her know that you don't joke that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I must be really sensitive today... I think we all have days like that. It sure sounds like she *likes* you *and* your kids. That's lovely. :) (And yes, they *do* look like angels, don't they?) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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