Communal Living

[ravinlunachick]

I've tried to give a good variety of options in the poll. Let's assume, for the purposes of the poll, that this is a community of 20 households of varying sizes, but that you'd actually agree to living in this close a setting with these people. :)

 

Which style would you prefer? Why?

 

:bigear:

Edited March 20, 2012 by ravinlunachick

[funnygirl]

I went with "obligatory other" because I need an individual house/kitchen for breakfast/late night snacks/etc., but a community kitchen for lunch/dinner. And I need a house vs. apartment b/c I have a dd with special needs and sometimes it gets loud. ;)

 

I wouldn't mind sharing living (tv/rec/library) spaces, laundry, etc. as well.

 

LOVE the idea of communal living.

[JenniferB]

I chose this one: One or two very large homes with family apartments, community kitchen.

 

I was trying to imagine what it would be like, and this seemed kind of like college, but more "adult." That seems nice to me. I'd like this kind of situation, but I've not heard of living like this in the US. Do people live like this?

[PrincessMommy]

I chose #1 but I would like to have the option to eating in my own home too since I don't necessarily want to eat with other people every single meal.

 

But, I've been giving this a lot of thought lately. I wasn't so interested in communal living when my kids were little. There's just too many different opinions on how to raise kids. But, since I'm near 50 and my husband is over 50 and many of our friends are similar...I think it would be great to do something like this for the retirement age. Just NOT a retirement community. My dream is to buy a house on a quiet street - one of those 10-15 house communities/streets. Something where every house is a ranch style house and then have all my older friends buy houses around us. That way we can look out for each other and hopefully avoid the retirement home/nursing home as long as possible.

 

Anyway, I'd need something where my kids could come home to visit (big dining room for family meals) but otherwise I won't need a big house.

[Carrie12345]

Completely separate homes (and kitchens) with a community building that has a sign up for communal meals.

And a small school house for co-oping.

And an organic farm.

And booze must be allowed. ;)

[PrincessMommy]

oops realized I should have gone with option #3

[eternalknot]

I've tried to give a good variety of options in the poll. Let's assume, for the purposes of the poll, that this is a community of 20 households of varying sizes, but that you'd actually agree to living in this close a setting with these people. :)

 

Which style would you prefer? Why?

 

:bigear:

 

 

So, assuming that this will become a closed community and I'm agreeing to live with these specific 20 families ... I voted large houses, independent apts and independent kitchens. But I'd want shared common areas for each large home, to include living space, play space, and kitchen/dining space.

 

I've always lived in a multi-generational home and for family-only I wouldn't need independent kitchens ... but the variable to be living with people I wasn't raised with, who may do things differently? I'd want individual kitchens. I lived in a dorm for part of university and let's just say that people who otherwise loved me found it hard to live with the smells of my favorite foods.

 

Anyone who has lived with/near Asians will understand what I mean :tongue_smilie: So in that vein, separate kitchens would be nice for some things but a community kitchen would be wonderful, too, for shared meals of a more popular variety.

[ravinlunachick]

I chose this one: One or two very large homes with family apartments, community kitchen.

 

I was trying to imagine what it would be like, and this seemed kind of like college, but more "adult." That seems nice to me. I'd like this kind of situation, but I've not heard of living like this in the US. Do people live like this?

 

There are a few intentional communities around the country that do something similar. Most that I've seen have varying sorts of individual homes with shared facilities.

[beaners]

Completely separate homes (and kitchens) with a community building that has a sign up for communal meals.

And a small school house for co-oping.

And an organic farm.

And booze must be allowed. ;)

 

This is pretty close to what I was going to post too. Some individual resources and some shared resources, depending on what is needed/convenient within the community. I'm way too independent to ever do it myself though. I didn't do group projects well at 8 years old, and I'm not much better at keeping my mouth shut now.

[bettyandbob]

There's a neighborhood near me that has smallish houses which have kitchens. There is a bigger community house with a large kitchen. I think the in home kitchen are pretty rudimentary. I remember when this community was being planned and built the families who bought in were interviewed, but the families who got in first. They started with nightly community meals rotating who prepared. It's been close to 20 years. I think they started with 20 families.

 

I thought it was really appealing when I first read about it. I live in a townhouse and my next door neighbors are very good friends. The neighbors in our immediate court are great too. We enjoy organizing block parties and street clean up activities together. So I think we've replicated some closeness. My dh is not social so this neighborhood is as close as he needs.

 

 

ETA: I found the place near me. It's called a Cohousing development. The name of the development is Blueberry Hill. http://www.blueberryhill.org

Edited March 21, 2012 by betty

[PrincessMommy]

wow Betty, that sounds like what I'd love to have - only with ranch style housing.

[KnitWit]

I think like Carrie1234. I really need to be able to have *MY* space and get *away* from people, otherwise, I'm completely drained. But the option for communal meals, a community garden, shared park/play/sports space and things like that would be very appealing. I think that even with families in their OWN homes, if those homes are close together with common area at the center it would foster more connections between neighbors.

[WillametteMom]

Here's a link to a co-housing community in Oregon: http://www.cohoecovillage.org/index.shtml

 

I don't know anything about it, just remember coming across it in a newspaper article.

[pqr]

Funny, some of the options describe exactly what Soviets had in their cities. Not one of them, who I ever spoke with, liked the concept.

 

Another really unpleasant aspect of the communal kitchen is when one family cooks an especially pungent food.

[sbgrace]

My son has life threatening allergies so our own "safe" kitchen would be a must. I could see a desire for community meals in a community kitchen/dining area at times. I don't think I'd want to share every single meal with others no matter my son's allergy status.

[Word Nerd]

I keep picturing the communal homes in Dreams of Joy, which is set during Mao's so-called Great Leap Forward. Eek!

It would be nice to have more of a community, though.

Edited March 21, 2012 by WordGirl

[Bang!Zoom!]

Yuck.

 

Just plain yuck.

 

Now if you had the co-op running in Oahu, I'd be saying, "Yum. Yum. Where's the waiting list?"

[In the Rain]

I chose option 2, which isn't really very community minded. :001_huh: I guess I like my space.

[ocelotmom]

I think these things tend to work best long term if people have the option of privacy and self-determination. I would prefer small, basic accommodations that encourage use of community resources while allowing for privacy and solitude. I don't particularly care about individual houses vs. apartments (though I think apartments tend to be a more efficient use of space, allowing more for fun stuff), as long as each family has a separate living area. I do think, based on my experience with communal living, that this is important. I also think that at least a basic kitchen for each family is a good idea.

 

We used to live in a community with several cohousing groups, and the residents tended to really like them.

Edited March 21, 2012 by ocelotmom

[Julie Smith]

I don't know. But now you have me thinking of the book, "The Twenty-One Balloons" by William Pene du Bois

[Audrey]

I cannot and will not share my kitchen with another woman. Nope. No way. No how.

 

I sometimes think of doing a small commune here, but each would have their own home and kitchen. Shared work would be the focus, but privacy is important to family.

[Bluegoat]

Completely separate homes (and kitchens) with a community building that has a sign up for communal meals.

And a small school house for co-oping.

And an organic farm.

And booze must be allowed. ;)

:iagree:

 

I'm really interested in communal living arrangements. But in studying different varieties, one thing Ihave noticed is the ones that last usually have a good amount of independence/privacy available for people. So I would like small kitchens available for each family myself, and some sort of clearly separated living quarters. What that would look like would depend a lot on the actual circumstances - an urban or rural location could be quite different.

Edited March 21, 2012 by Bluegoat

[Wolfmeis]

My favorite, and pretty much ideal cohousing project: http://www.smokecreek.com/RoseWind/RosewindClassic.html

[SJ.]

I chose other, I would prefer individual houses with individual kitchens plus a communal kitchen.

[Lisbeth]

Introvert me is running and shrieking reading this thread. ;)

[Matryoshka]

Completely separate homes (and kitchens) with a community building that has a sign up for communal meals.

And a small school house for co-oping.

And an organic farm.

And booze must be allowed. ;)

 

This one. :D

[kalanamak]

One building with a dining and cooking area and play area and porches for the climate, one good sized building with apartments with kitchenettes, and a few outer buildings with varying spaces for really quiet or really noisy people.

 

I like my sleep and like separating the noisy activities from the quiet activities.

[JennyD]

Small individual houses with small but usable kitchens, larger communal house with big kitchen.

 

I have wanted to live in a cohousing community for years, ever since I first read about the concept. Maybe someday.

[MistyMountain]

If I lived in a co-housing type situation which I actually am considering I would want a separate living space for my family and I would want it to have a kitchen because all the meals are not going to be shared. I also wouldn't mind a shared community kitchen or even a shared house where guests can stay and where we host get togethers. I don't care if our dwelling was townhouse or row house style rather than single family. It actually a better use of space. I wouldn't want to be on top of someone else because I don't want the kids to disturb others. I would also then want some space for gardening and to be a part of the garden. I am an introvert but I still would love to be a part of an actual community of people. I don't want to live in the same house as others but it would be nice to be close with neighbors and to take part of community meals and events.

 

There is one near me forming and it will have individual dwelling with kitchens and a shared building with a kitchen in it. Now that my husband got a new job here and we sold our place it is now a possibility for us to live there. They are having a get together this weekend that I will be going to. They just got the land. I want to see if it is financially feasible for us. I already know a few of the people and like them.

Edited March 21, 2012 by MistyMountain

[Paige]

I know some people who set up something like this and it worked out really well for them. They had about 6 families who went together and purchased a bunch of land in the country. It wasn't way out in the middle of nowhere, but far enough out that they had no other neighbors. They built one really big house that was divided into 2 parts. There were 2 separate bedrooms/immediate family areas with doors and locks- like apartments, several multi purpose and shared areas, and 2 kitchens. One kitchen was a very large full kitchen and the other was more of a small basic MIL suite kitchen. This large house was shared by 2 families with the multi purpose rooms open to everyone. Then, there were 4 other houses built within walking distance around the main house. I never went in these houses so I don't know the set up or what the rules were. They all had kids and the kids ran freely through all houses and yards and they all had similar beliefs and parenting philosophies so it could work out. It was kind of like Big Love without the plural marriages.

 

I think I'd like it if I was in one of the satellite houses. I knew the kids when they were adults and they had such fond memories and were so close to each other still. It was a nice, small community and not too weird to freak people out.

[Onceuponatime]

Introvert me is running and shrieking reading this thread. ;)

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[ktgrok]

Ok, here is my ideal scenario, and I've thought about it a LOT.

 

Some houses, some duplexes or triplexes. Built in a group around a central area that has a playground, barbecue area, garden, and common house. The common house has a big kitchen for biweekly communal meals, a library area, room for kids to do crafts and such, and...most importantly, guest rooms. That way when my mom comes to visit she can stay in the lovely guest room and have lots of privacy and comfort, but be right there for visiting.

[Gentlemommy]

I need my own space. I voted for separate housing and kitchens. I would love to live in close community to other like minded families, but being an introvert has me needing my privacy.

[Sahamamama]

We watched "Families of Israel" (DVD) and one of the families featured lived on a kibbutz. Each family had its own separate house with a kitchen, but most people ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner at a communal kitchen.

 

This seemed to me to be a nice set up for communal living.

[Truscifi]

Separate homes, community kitchens - but I want a kitchenette. We like to graze during the day rather than eat a large meal for breakfast or lunch. And separate homes because I get grouchy if I don't have personal space.

[AuntieM]

I voted other.

 

I like the third option, but I'd prefer individual kitchenETTES rather than individual full kitchens. I think communal dining is important for a real communal feel; a small kitchenette facilitates between meal and late night snacking, but serves as a reminder that mealtimes are best shared.

 

ETA - I based my answer on the assumption that I was actually in the market communal living.

Edited March 21, 2012 by AuntieM

[Lisa R.]

Here's another community located around Waco, Texas:

 

http://www.homesteadheritage.com/

 

It's a fairly large community. While not opposed to technology, they like to do many things the old-fashioned way.

[attaboygirl]

Ok, here is my ideal scenario, and I've thought about it a LOT.

 

Some houses, some duplexes or triplexes. Built in a group around a central area that has a playground, barbecue area, garden, and common house. The common house has a big kitchen for biweekly communal meals, a library area, room for kids to do crafts and such, and...most importantly, guest rooms. That way when my mom comes to visit she can stay in the lovely guest room and have lots of privacy and comfort, but be right there for visiting.

 

You pretty much described where I live, exactly, though we also have a flock of chickens and an acre of woods in addition. We've lived in Cohousing for a few years and love it to pieces. I keep telling people that it's kid paradise.

[SKL]

I actually live in a house that I co-own with two other single women. We have separate bedrooms and share the kitchen, living room, etc. I'm the only one with kids. The kids have all their stuff in one part of the house.

[Annie G]

Introvert me is running and shrieking reading this thread. ;)

 

:iagree: And yet it's fascinating! I've appreciated the links folks have given- it was really interesting to read about these communities!

[JennyD]

You pretty much described where I live, exactly, though we also have a flock of chickens and an acre of woods in addition. We've lived in Cohousing for a few years and love it to pieces. I keep telling people that it's kid paradise.

 

Do you really? That's awesome. I have always thought that cohousing would be, indeed, kid paradise.

[trailofsparks]

Separate homes and kitchens! I lived communally for a short while with a common kitchen. It was tough. I even gained weight due to eating whatever was prepared for the group. I hate cooking, but this experience was nothing I would want to repeat, especially now that I have a family. Meals and family "go together". I wouldn't want to share family or meals on a regular basis.

[Carrie12345]

I've got to say, my "summer home" was a lot like how I picture my ideal commune. It was a campground, so I'm happy to ignore the trailer aspect for a moment, and we had many more families than I'd want to deal with full-time (a couple hundred, plus short-term vacationers/strangers). But there was a central pavillion where a few meals were served each week (some breakfasts and some dinners), entertainment, planned activities for kids, a pool, a lake, ball fields, playgrounds, and it was a working farm, so we got to play with animals all the time (but not for eating.)

And everyone kept an eye on everyone else's kids without it becoming a negative thing.

 

I'm absolutely an introvert, but being able to select my own activities made the whole thing manageable.

(And my kids love to take day trips there!)

[ocelotmom]

:iagree: And yet it's fascinating! I've appreciated the links folks have given- it was really interesting to read about these communities!

 

The two I'm most familiar with:

 

http://www.nstreetcohousing.org/

 

That one was a few blocks from our house.

 

http://www.villagehomes.hoaspace.com/

 

This is one of the most oldest and most well-known cohousing communities in the country, though I see that they're not really presenting themselves as cohousing on the website. Somewhere in between cohousing and housing development. They have individual houses, but a lot of community resources. We biked through there frequently, and it's absolutely gorgeous, and it always seemed like a wonderful place to live (and that seems to be the opinion of the people I know who live there).

 

I'm about as introverted as they get, and would love to live in this sort of community. In fact, I'd love for the neighboring properties to be bought up by people interested in this sort of thing, or perhaps we'll move to one someday.

 

We've shared a house with another family for going on 6 years now. The benefits outweigh the drawbacks (or we wouldn't still be doing it), but I'd definitely be happier with a little more separation - we're working on that.

[elfgivas]

separate homes, condo style, or semi-detached, with individual and communal kitchens, built around a central courtyard, with shared laundry, gardening, music rooms, a games room, etc, etc...... at least weekly communial meals...

 

about thirty years ago i read about a place in denmark that was living this way, and was ready to go!

 

how hypothetical is this? or not?

 

:bigear:

ann

[Heather in Neverland]

I need my own space. I voted for separate housing and kitchens. I would love to live in close community to other like minded families, but being an introvert has me needing my privacy.

 

:iagree:

 

I would do one meal together per day, like dinner, but breakfast and lunch with your own individual family. Separate homes but close together. A community garden, educational co-op and commons area for recreation and worship would be great.

 

The key to this working for me would be like-minded individuals.

[lailasmum]

We looked at moving into co housing a few years ago. The ones I liked the best had individual housing with kitchens so each family could keep their privacy as desired. It also had a communal building, land and workshops. So a big building for the purpose of eating and community events and some shared facilities like laundries. it also had a row of small office/workshops so people could work on site. There were shared woods, gardens and play space for the kids.

[Catherine]

Perhaps the fact that they had no choice in the matter was the problem.

[Sahamamama]

I cannot and will not share my kitchen with another woman. Nope. No way. No how.

 

I sometimes think of doing a small commune here, but each would have their own home and kitchen. Shared work would be the focus, but privacy is important to family.

 

:iagree:My mother and I can work together, but she's the only one allowed. :lol: My mother-in-law is an entirely different matter. One of us has to go. :toetap05:

[NanceXToo]

Choice 1 because otherwise what's the point? If it's separate homes with separate everything it doesn't seem like much of communal living. Choice 1 seems more "communal" and eliminates the need to have to do all the separate cooking for just yourself which is nice because I hate doing that. :D

 

Someone mentioned needing their own kitchen for snacks and breakfasts but I would assume you could store dry snacks in your house and could even get a little mini dorm size fridge if you really wanted to, so bring on the community kitchen and dinners if I was going to agree to live in a communal setting like that to begin with anyway! :D