Heather in Neverland Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 My ds 13yo is going to a birthday party today for his friend. It is at a paintball facility. I just found out last night that the cost is 50 per kid! First, I have never been charged for attendance at a birthday party before. Second, we are still supposed to bring a gift and most teen parties here do cash gifts and the typical going rate is 50. So this party is now going to cost me 100. :glare: Fine. Whatever. I just think if you are going to throw a party for your child you should either pick a place you can afford or suck it up and pay it. To charge my child to attend plus gift is ridiculous. Last year my ds wanted the paintball party too. We told him he can have the party (which we would pay for) OR he could have nice gift from us, but not both. I guess I am just old-fashioned but all these new birthday party, engagement party, wedding trends just seem tacky to me. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tammyw Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 That's crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 How incredibly tacky!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Uhhh...I think if you are paying to go to a party, you don't need to take a gift! I can't imagine hosting a party and then charging admission. Invite fewer people, or change the venue, or specifically ask for no gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Wow. I have never heard of that. We would not be attending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Is this a cultural thing where you are? I can't imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 That's crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 that's crazy--should have stated that in the invitation....never been charged to go to a b/day party either.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I've been hearing about this more lately too. If you can't afford to give your kid a party, then don't. Don't plan it out and ask your guests to foot the bill. UGH. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Not cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 In.Sane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I wouldn't send my dc to such a party. Just amazingly tacky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tenoraddict Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 We had a joint paintball party for our son with another couple and their son last summer. We jumped on some Groupons that we saw for the facility, because it IS expensive. The boys both knew that the party was their present from their parents. Of course we didn't make anyone pay! That's ridiculous! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TX6 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I have experienced the same thing recently. It is very tacky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegasus Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 What's next? Destination birthday parties to Disney World with each attendee responsible for their own travel costs and admission tickets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I've never heard of that. Is it a cultural thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 I've never heard of that. Is it a cultural thing? I don't think so? They are expats as well from Australia and it is the first time it has happened to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 What's next? Destination birthday parties to Disney World with each attendee responsible for their own travel costs and admission tickets. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cara in Ky Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 You buy $50 birthday gifts for friends? I don't spend that much on my husband! My birthday is coming up... friend. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 that's it, LG was right, charging for weddings is next. Makes the backyard BBQ with hot dogs and homemade cake all the more appealing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Wow, you are the second person I have heard this from in the last week, and before that I had never heard of being charged to attend a party. I hope this is not a trend or my kids will not be going to many parties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetandSimple Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Really, really odd. I hope that someone shows up to his party... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Makes the backyard BBQ with hot dogs and homemade cake all the more appealing. I really like hotdogs and homemade cake. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I have never heard of that. Are you going to have your son go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 I have never heard of that. Are you going to have your son go? That's what I hate the most about this. It is his best friend. He will be crushed if he can't go. So now this mom has put ME in a bad spot. I either fork out the cash or I disappoint my kid. So either way I lose. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 What's next? Destination birthday parties to Disney World with each attendee responsible for their own travel costs and admission tickets. Shhh, don't give 'em any ideas!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I really like hotdogs and homemade cake. :001_smile: If anything I'm practical. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 That's crazy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbmom Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 That's crazy-I would reduce the amount of the gift to $20 so I would at least only be out $20 more than anticipated. I hope this trend doesn't continue as Iam alwaysthe last to know and almost never have cash on me when dropping my kids off for birthday parties. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 If you didn't get the $50 admission fee memo, maybe someone also neglected to mention the standard $50 cash gift should be donated toward your admission fee? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 My ds 13yo is going to a birthday party today for his friend. It is at a paintball facility. I just found out last night that the cost is 50 per kid! First, I have never been charged for attendance at a birthday party before. Second, we are still supposed to bring a gift and most teen parties here do cash gifts and the typical going rate is 50. So this party is now going to cost me 100. :glare: Fine. Whatever. I just think if you are going to throw a party for your child you should either pick a place you can afford or suck it up and pay it. To charge my child to attend plus gift is ridiculous. Last year my ds wanted the paintball party too. We told him he can have the party (which we would pay for) OR he could have nice gift from us, but not both. I guess I am just old-fashioned but all these new birthday party, engagement party, wedding trends just seem tacky to me. . Like $50 in American $$$??? Seriously?? That's crazy! Is it really that much for paintball? Per child? Wow!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhrice3 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 That is absurd! I have never heard of such a thing. I thought that inviting someone to a party was just that - an invitation. I would explain to my child what I thought about this and then I would explain the same thing to the child's parents! ReneeR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 I really like hotdogs and homemade cake. :001_smile: I do too. One thing about this island is their need to "one-up" each other. There seems to be no such thing as a simple backyard party (well, no one has a backyard but you know what I mean!). Everything has to be this big shindig. I didn't have a birthday party this year for my 2yo and people here were genuinely shocked. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 You buy $50 birthday gifts for friends? I don't spend that much on my husband! My birthday is coming up... friend. :D :lol::lol: My birthday was a couple of weeks ago. *wink, wink* That is insane. We couldn't afford for our children to go, best friend or not. That's crazy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 :svengo: Guests don't pay to attend. :001_huh: That's what makes them guests! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeannie in NJ Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 my dc's friends usually have backyard parties, the same as we do. ONce, my son went to a party (kid from co-op) not really a good friend, there were pony rides, clowns, etc. I sent him with the usual gift costing around $20 and nobody passed around a hat to pay for ponies or clowns. The parents of birthday boy paid for all that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Do most people in this crowd think this is reasonable? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZooRho Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 You buy $50 birthday gifts for friends? I don't spend that much on my husband! My birthday is coming up... friend. :D MINE TOO. :):001_smile: NO WAY NO HOW I barely spent $100 on my boys parties when they were younger. AND they have had the MEMORABLE parites. Parties that everyone wanted to come to. the Totally cool party to say the least. and we did all but one at our house. That one was at the beach, with hot dogs, and drinks, and noodles for playing in the water. And a Sandpail birthday cake that eveyone thought was totally cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amey311 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 We had a mildly similar experience once during hockey. One of the players' birthday was during an out of state tournament and the parents wanted to do "something fun" for him which translated to Dave and Busters. They got a "great deal" that would only cost $35 per person, and we could pay Mom and Dad when we got there. The other parent I was staying with and I both thought "so.... we're spending $70 ($35 each for parent & child) to go to your son's birthday party, and if we don't EVERYONE will know and we'll be the ones who skipped Snowflake's party. Super." So, we shelled it out. Which I KNOW was our choice and we could've been very adult about it, but at the end of the day there were a bunch of kids all talking about all the things they were going to do at Snowflake's party (games! food! tickets!!!!!!). We bought a birthday card and called it done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 no. we would skip that one. totally. completely. absurd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Wow! The only type of "party" I expect to pay to attend is a fundraiser! I'd be stunned at such an invitation, but for a good friend of my child's, would pay it anyways.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 My girls' birthdays are in July and August. Hot and Humid. And we don't have a big house. So a couple of times we've had their parties at Chuckie Cheese (yeah, I know, I just like the chuckie word) and at a gymnastics place. But we paid for it. Now we have a pool, so the girls have a pool party. With a rain date. I canNOT imagine charging people to come to our party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 *If* I could afford it I would go. As a gift I would give the child something that would make life unhappy for the parents, like a drum set. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 That's the most tacky, ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I've never heard of being charged to attend a birthday party we were invited to. If that ever happened I don't think I'd be able to refrain from going, "Are you serious?" We would not be attending on principal. My kid could play paintball and do fun things another time. There's no way I'd shell out $100 for some kid's birthday party entrance fee and gift. No way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 As a gift I would give the child something that would make life unhappy for the parents, like a drum set. :lol: Excellent idea!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Twice. Kid gets excited about the invitation, and then I find out that we pay for part or all of the fun. First time I agreed because it was local and the cost was doable, but the second time we found a convenient excuse. An hour each way plus costs there in order to "join" in, which include the parent that drove them (so at least two admissions, gas, and lunch). Our parties usually involve having a family or two over for dinner. And no, I don't charge :D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Last summer when ds turned 17, he wanted to invite a bunch of friends to play laser tag- enough that we could rent out the place and be the only ones playing. We agreed to a three game set, and he invited friends, knowing that the party was his gift from us. A lot of teens showed up and EVERY ONE of them expected to pay. They were pulling wallets out left and right! I was stunned and made them put them away. So...maybe it's not that uncommon around here. But I sure was shocked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Seriously???? $50 to go blows me away, just as much as people generally giving $50 cash gift. I think both are totally inappropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 (edited) That's entirely normal in our sphere for teens and adults. Otherwise no one would be able to afford birthday parties. I'm pretty sure the invitation would say "no gifts" though! Rosie Edited February 18, 2012 by Rosie_0801 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadeOrchidSong Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I wouldn't let my dc go even if it were his best friend. I simply don't want to feed the fad and follow the dirty suit. If everyone sends their child to go to their friend's ridiculously expensive party because they don't want to disappoint their child, then this kind of party will sooner or later become the norm and you will always have to pay for some extravagant parties that other people throw to you from now on. It is a trap and a vicious cycle. SIMPLY DO NOT GO and stand firm for your own standards, values, and priorities. Do not do things the way other people coerce (pressure) you to do if they go against your own conscience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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