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Sept. 6...most terrifying 13 hours of my life

BakersDozen
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BakersDozen

BakersDozen

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2am: Woke to Baby B moving WAY up in my abdomen; Baby A took the opportunity to turn...HARD...head down. Should have been thankful for answered prayers but...

 

2:10am: Got up to get more comfortable thanks to babies' new position. Used the bathroom, walked toward bedroom, realized I was still "going", got to bedside and felt gush and heard splat.

 

2:15am: On way to hospital soaking towel rapidly. Panicking.

 

2:20am: Arrived at hospital to staff ready for me (called ahead) yet they seemed to move so slowly! Stupid OB wouldn't give me the terbutaline I kept demanding for 20 minutes!!! By that time I had progressed from 3cm to 4cm, Baby A was really low. Thought babies would be born in triage.

 

2:40am: Terbutaline shot given, labor slows, foley catheter put in (no meds...ouch), mag is administered, have terrible reaction. At 5-6cm it is decided to fly me to Phoenix. Panic increases, I start crying and can't stop.

 

3:30am: Put on helicopter to Phx. Tried not to succumb to claustrophobia and willed babies to not be born in the air.

 

4:15am: Arrive in Phx to entire medical team waiting for me. Contractions pick up again, more mag.

 

5:00am: Labor stalls and am told doctors will try to keep me pregnant for at least one more day, weeks would be better. I'm so tired I almost don't care.

 

5am-1pm: Labor continues to resume and stall, still at 4cm, no progression. Baby A has now turned breech so both babies are feet first.

 

1pm: Something tells me to ask for an epidural just in case. Awesome doctor doesn't even question me and epi is placed. ouch I'm crying like a baby, it's all too much at this point.

 

3pm: Contractions seem "deeper" and thankfully I don't ignore that fact. I'm 7-8cm, one more contraction and I yell "PRESSURE!!!" All heck breaks loose. Nurses flying everywhere, no one talking, everyone concentrating, hallways are cleared as we fly by on our way to the E.R. Someone gives me a medication that makes me insane (literally, I tried to pull out my IV) so I was asking to be put out. I feel myself tied down and try not to scream, try not to lose what is left of my sanity. Last thing I remember is humming an Enya song and counting screws in the light above my head.

 

3:30pm: Babies are brought into this world. Baby A is so far down he has to be pulled out and is bruised along with his mama. I don't know because I'm in a lovely twilight sleep; all I hear is a baby's cry from far away.

 

5:00pm: Wake to pain unlike anything I've ever felt and am total hysterical - crying, yelling, crying more. I want to die.

 

5:30pm: Nurse manages to calm me down and tells me both babies are here and fine. I still want to die.

 

Baby A is a boy named Cory William. He is super strong and progressing at a rate that is amazing. Baby B is a girl, no name yet. She is not as strong as her brother but is still doing well. They were born just after 31 weeks and honestly, I thought they were going to die. I wouldn't look at them the first night and didn't want to hold them the next day. I don't feel like a seasoned mama, I feel like a terrified new mom who had preemie twins and my first c-section (I wouldn't wish a c/s on my worst enemy, btw). The recovery has been horrific physically and I will never do this again, ever.

 

The babies did not come early because of my age or the # of dc I've had. They came because Baby A turned head down and that broke my water. I've already had some lovely comments regarding the "why" of all of this and just wanted to put that out there.

 

Please pray for us. I will be in Phx with the babies as much as possible while my dh goes back home to work and be home at night. We have family and friends bringing meals and staying with the dc. I'm trying to take this day by day because if I even think about anything past tomorrow I will freak out. I'm scared and hormonal and cry at everything even though I don't let anyone see that side of me. I miss my dc.

 

One last thing...in all of my pregnancies/deliveries I have never seen the hand of God so visible. So many things could have gone wrong (delivery in triage in a hospital unequipped for preemies, delivery in the air, no epi which would have caused me to push with breech babies, etc.). These babies have been protected and our family cared for unlike anything I've ever seen. God be praised, He is Lord and all glory goes to Him.

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BakersDozen

BakersDozen

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Mine were born at 31 weeks and came home within 3 days.

 

 

You are very fortunate.

 

Ladies, I can hardly see the screen, you are so loving and wonderful. I wish you were here with me in the room because I need to cry and it be OK. Nurses are nice and my dh is being great but women just have that comforting presence that I need desperately right now. :(

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GinaPagnato

GinaPagnato

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Oh. My. Heavens. What an ordeal! I'm so glad you are okay and it sounds like the babies are in good hands. I can only imagine how much you just want to scoop those little ones up and get back home so your whole family can be together. It WILL happen, it's just going to take a little time and you'll need to be patient. Everybody at home will be okay, and you just focus your prayers and love on those little guys who need you. I'm sure in a few years you'll be using the story to give your son a guilt trip. "Do you know what your squirmy behavior caused????" :)

 

Blessings!

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simka2

simka2

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You are very fortunate.

 

Ladies, I can hardly see the screen, you are so loving and wonderful. I wish you were here with me in the room because I need to cry and it be OK. Nurses are nice and my dh is being great but women just have that comforting presence that I need desperately right now. :(

 

How are the babies? Also, because mine were in the NICU I had a difficult time with the hospitals br*ast pump. Then a really great nurse came in with cool tea bags to place right on those tender areas, she was a Godsend!!!!! I could not believe how much it helped!

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Barb_

Barb_

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What an incredible story. I'm so happy for you to have friends and family nearby for support. Consider maybe some counseling from a pastor or therapist when this is behind you enough to be approachable? You sound so fragile and I fear it may take some time to work through it all. :grouphug:

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Lacie

Lacie

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C-Section recovery is hard and long. Having babies in the NICU is very trying. Be easy with yourself. Let yourself cry. And take lots of pictures, I don't have many hospital pictures of my oldest because I was so worried and sore. You will appreciate the pictures later.

 

:grouphug: So glad that your littles are here and safe.

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wapiti

wapiti

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Congrats, OP! You'll get through the NICU period. This is temporary. You made it past 30 weeks! That's a huge milestone!!! Take care of yourself and rest so that you can make milk.

 

My 33 weekers spent 12 and 18 days in the NICU. One was in respiratory distress and on a ventilator. 8 years later, there's a lot of wrestling in our house :D. Time marches on.

 

Mine were born at 31 weeks and came home within 3 days.

 

That is truly extraordinary!

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wapiti

wapiti

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And take lots of pictures, I don't have many hospital pictures of my oldest because I was so worried and sore. You will appreciate the pictures later.

:iagree:

 

There's no such thing as too many pictures of newborn twins!!! Even in the NICU!! :):)

 

We didn't have a digital camera in those days, and all our pics are the old fashioned kind - they're deteriorating from use :tongue_smilie:. I'll need to make copies from negatives.

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ktgrok

ktgrok

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HUGS! That sounds so scary, and I know the pain of a c-section very very well. Please be kind to yourself, and take your pain medications as directed. Also, ask for stool softeners, as the pain meds and surgery will bind things up otherwise. Not something you want to find out a week from now! Please realize that a traumatic birth like that can cause PTSD, and take action if need be. Use a pillow over your incision whenever possible, it will help prevent the "my guts are falling out" feeling. You WILL heal. I promise. You are a strong, brave warrior mama, even if you don't feel like it right now. You were brave enough to allow yourself to be cut open for the sake of your children. You are amazing. Give yourself credit, and give yourself space to heal mentally and emotionally.

 

Hugs again. my prayers are with you and your babies. Please go hold them, touch them, perhaps they can help heal you. And you certainly can help heal them.

http://www.ican-online.org/recovery/recovering-cesarean-tips-healing

http://ican-online.org/recovery/home

Edited by ktgrok
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chepyl

chepyl

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Congrats! Glad babies are here and doing well. I'm sorry it was so scary and painful. I agree w/ you on the c-section. They are awful!

 

Even worse when they are an emergency and you are thrown into the OR. Delivery of DS was very scary! I am glad that the babies are doing well. A friend had her son at about 28 weeks. He is now a happy healthy 2 year old.

 

When it is time to leave the hospital, have someone get you the biggest wedge pillow they can find, 2 if needed. I could not lay flat for a week. I did not realize how spoiled I was for three nights in the hospital bed. I wanted to go back the first night home! I slept in the recliner, baby in the bassinet next to me, and DH on the couch so he could bring the baby to me. The next night I had a wedge and slept in my bed.

 

You and your precious babies will be in my prayers.

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Farrar

Farrar

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:grouphug:

 

Like others, I know of 31 week twins who were just fine within a few days. Thanks for updating us. I remembered your posts about your twin pregnancy. I hope you're able to hold them close and care for them at home soon. And I hope you recover quickly too because I know you'll need to be as well as possible.

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i.love.lucy

i.love.lucy

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I had a traumatic delivery with a premature baby nearly ten years ago. It is a rough experience. Please be gentle with yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help, even if it is just a shoulder to cry on. :grouphug: Praying for you and your little ones.

 

My traumatic 29 week delivery is a perfect healthy 7 year old!!!

:grouphug: Are there any other moms there you can connect with? Sometimes those NICU families get really close.

 

Hey, I know! Let's help you think of some girl names to distract you!

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GWOB

GWOB

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Oh Momma! You did a great job! Really. I think I would have completely lost it. Take some time. Recover. Regain your strength. Seriously, you just had two people cut out of you! Cry if necessary. Do whatever you need to do to just make it through this time. Then, look at those two precious miracles and cuddle with them. You did it! It wasn't perfect. That's ok. You aren't being graded or judged.

 

I like the name Cory for a boy. I have a nephew named Cory and my dd is named Cora.

 

Many, many :grouphug::grouphug:.

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creativish

creativish

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:grouphug::grouphug: What an amazing experience to have known the hand of God to be so near. I cannot imagine what kind of emotions you have gone through/are going through this week. Wow. You are an amazing mama, take care of yourself so you can do the same to those little babes.

You all will be in my continued thoughts and prayers :grouphug:

 

I have been trying to follow your story since you are a veteran mom expecting twins (I am not nearly as seasoned as you, ;) but also expecting twins #6 & 7).

I can't imagine what you went through, I can't lie, it sounds terrifying, but you all survived and that scary part is over. Relax and do what you do best-- be that loving mom that God has blessed you to be, one day at a time. Just keep your focus on those smiles on all your children's faces when they meet their new brother and sister.:)

Congrats and take care mama, I will be thinking of you all lots :grouphug:

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sbgrace

sbgrace

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:grouphug: I'm sorry the entrance was so traumatic.

 

31 weeks is very good. Congratulations on your babies--I do wish it had been a nicer start.

 

We had a rough start too and I had a difficult recovery physical and emotionally. The rush of hormones after twins alone is messy and you've added a lot trauma and adjustment. Be easy on yourself and get help if needed. :grouphug:

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