If you are prospering financially, to what do you attribute this?

[Catherine]

1. Good, but expensive graduate educations in medicine-excellent job security, but we spent the first 6-7 years of our marriage paying off our educations.

 

2. Self-discipline-meaning, we live below our means, save, and avoid spending everything we make.

 

3. Good fortune. We bought our only house when the market was favorable, and have been able to hold on to it, if not pay it down much, though we did refinance to a lower rate, 15 year note several years ago. Our kids don't love expensive stuff and are happy so far to accept what we provide. Luck is the biggest factor, IMO.

[lauracolumbus]

We are more prosperous than all but one of our friends. No one IRL would suspect how well off we are.

 

I attribute our financial success to my marrying well--I'm sort of half-kidding :tongue_smilie:. DH and I both come from lower socio-economic status, but through some serious hard work and being frugal (my dad was a Depression-era baby--that never leaves you and I hope to pass it on to my kids), we have prospered. DH and I both have grad level degrees (I'm a lawyer, but worked in the public sector and didn't work long enough to build a nice nest egg). We started a family late in life due to those advanced degrees and other silly issues.

 

DH has had some great well-paying jobs, but he started his own technology company, which recently sold. That is what has launched us

to the next level of income. It was a roller coaster ride to get to this point. DH took lots of scary risks to get us here. (I longed for him to have that nice stable bank job, which of course, is not so stable any more).

 

However, nothing has really changed in our lifestyle except our kids can do more expensive activities. We have also spoiled our parents a bit. We could have moved into a much nicer home, in a much nicer neighborhood, but we decided to stay in our 'starter home.' I recently had a friend ask us if we had a $$ tree in our backyard b/c I've signed the kids up for some of these expensive activities. She lives in the much nicer house, in the much nicer neighborhood.

 

Our kids have no idea about our financial well-being b/c they hear me say no to various requests b/c I am still in frugal mode and don't think kids need that much to be happy. As I mentioned, I grew up poor, but didn't realize it until much later. I think it was b/c hardly anyone had much use for 'things' back then. You had a few pair of non-designer jeans, a glove, a library card and not much more. But, I am old. And old school. I do have a mental block about buying used clothing b/c I hated going to thrift stores as a kid b/c of the smell. I'd rather buy clothes on clearance and out of season than nicer ones at the thrift store.

 

I thank God every day for these blessings. I spent many years living below poverty level while in college, grad school, and law school. It has paid off in the end. Our health is relatively good, but we have had some serious issues.

 

Laura

[2squared]

I guess we are prospering if I follow the definition set forth. Dh is an attorney, but, honestly, small town attorneys do not make big bucks.

 

I think one of our biggest pluses has been making good decisions early in life - mostly related to avoiding debt, saving, and cultivating back-up options. I put myself through my undergrad and then I paid off dh's undergrad degree and paid for his law degree. So, we were debt-free early in marriage and making strides toward increasing our earning potential. We have remained debt-free except for our mortgage, and I am very anxious to get that paid off. Our focus is remaining debt free since I strongly feel that debt begets debt. Kinda like a force in motion remains in motion.....

 

Dh was active duty military which was wonderful money, but the lifestyle wasn't for us. He chose to stay in the reserves to help fund our retirement, to provide us with fabulous healthcare, and to bring in much-needed monthly income. The biggest plus, however, is that if he ever is laid off or without civilian employment, he can easily acquire additional military income to help us through those periods.

 

We are fighting tooth and nail to get back to our financial secure spot. It's a much more difficult mountain to climb with a lower (for us) income.

 

Dh used to stay home with the kids while I worked. Our income was significantly higher then, and we will never be able to regain that ground with this small-town lawyer gig. Some days I struggle with those "what ifs."

[LucyStoner]

 

For the purposes of this thread, prospering financially means you have enough to pay all bills each month, have some savings, live in a house you consider comfortable, have access to good medical care, and can afford to purchase healthy food. Also, if you had an unexpected bill, such as a car repair, it wouldn't cause financial hardship for the month.

 

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

We are comfortable. This is despite my husband choosing to work part time and despite me choosing a career with at least a 50% lower pay level than my similarly educated and talented peers because I went non-profit instead of into business or law with my economics and math education.

 

Why are we doing well? ALL of the above reasons you list except for genetics. We have good educations, we were both raised in backgrounds that valued learning, we have been blessed with very good health and no exceptionally large medical expenses, we work hard, we live in a city with a strong job market in our fields, we have been lucky many times,

we received a cushion of funds from my husband's deceased dad when he died and for other, I especially benefited from various non-profit and government programs- scholarships, student grants, low cost housing for my formerly homeless family when I was a child, unemployment benefits when I was briefly unemployed in 2007 due to no fault of my own etc. Finally, my husband has always worked for companies that offered spectacular medical benefits. I do not think that we are comfortable because we want to be or because we work harder than others. This is not because I am entitled or made all the right choices, it is a convergence of choices and circumstances that have worked out in our favor. I have not always made the right choice and I have many flaws. I know others who have done many of the same things etc and worked as hard, perhaps harder, but did not get as far because their industries declined, they had health issues or a very ill child, they did just not have things go their way despite doing all the "right" things. My life might NE very different had I not happen to fall in love with a man from a well off family or had I been diagnosed with MS, like a dear friend of mine.

 

There is no idea that is more repugnant to me than that people will suceed if only they tried harder or wanted it bad enough. This prosperity gospel stuff that is circulating in some churches now is frankly total theological bunk.

 

My mother was a brilliant woman, far more talented and smart than me IMO and she had a far different adult life and when she died she had been on disability (which was about $500 a month before most of it went to rent, utilities and

luxuries like laundry soap and toilet paper, not some imaginary grand amount that folks think those on assistance are recieving) and living in section 8 housing for years. She was an amazing woman who gave much of herself despite her disabilities. She had a 6th grade education but conversed as easily with the mayor as with a homeless guy sitting on the sidewalk. We would all be lucky to be 1/2 as kind and warm as she was. I get sick of people blaming folks like my mom for circumstances far beyond their control, especially when they may know of poor people but they so often don't actually REALLY know and respect a single very low income person.

Edited August 27, 2011 by kijipt

[chiguirre]

I'll second the Millionaire Next Door. When we were young, both dh and I worked and since we lived in a place with few consumer temptations, we saved 75% of our income. It's grown over time and now we don't have many financial worries, which is a good thing because we have plenty of other worries.

[EKS]

Luck and not living outside our means.

[Dolphin]

For us it is 4 things.

 

1. Having a parents who really overcame. My father was born to an unwed mother in the 1940's. He was raised in the bronx. He worked hard and got scholarships, and made use of the assistance programs that were out there. He was poor, and abused by his single alcoholic mother. He should not have made it. He became an Oncologist. He worked hard, and he made it. Because of him, I have never had to go through that. I really appreciate what he has done.

 

2. My Dad is a smart and well off man. He taught me how to manage money and to stay out of debt. He has also helped when I have need help. My parents have always been a cushion for me to fall on, and that is really lucky.

 

3. I married a smart man with a really good work ethic. His parents weren't as bad off as mine, but they have definitely improved from where they started.

 

4. We don't go into debt (other than house) We have similar priorities. We will drive cruddy cars that are falling apart so our kids can do activities.

[Impish]

I don't know that I consider us 'prospering', that always seems to be a higher income than we have :lol: but we're better off than we were when we were first married.

 

I think the biggest thing is that we both got into fairly recession proof fields. I was in health care until my injury, and Wolf switched from sales and marketing to landscaping/maintenance.

[Ginevra]

I'll second the Millionaire Next Door.

 

I'll third it. I loved that book.

[Shellydon]

We do very well finanacial.

 

1) we both purposely chose fields that would provide good paying jobs and got advanced degrees.

2) We lived very cheaply in college, took out minimum loans and continued to live cheaply until all the loans were payed off.

3) we avoided credit card debt at all cost and paid extra on car/house loans

4) took a financial course at church while we were in college and dirt poor - Ron Blue Ministry Master Your Money.

5) we aimed to live debt free no matter how much we were making be it $12,000 or 200,000 or anywhere in between

6) God has blessed us beyond measure with people that know what they are talking about where money in concerned and He has given us the common sense to listen.

[kdeno]

Some much less, a few much more. We have struggled financially and been blessed financially. We always have tried to be generous. We give a certain percent to our church, we have a missionary we are helping to support and we try to share with those in need. We found with each child we had my husband's income rose. He income has tripled since we had just one child. We do have a lot of medical bills and I do try to be frugal so we can give away as much as we can. I don't think I answered your question. I do not know why God is blessing us financially. I know other families who I am sure give as much and struggle. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: to everyone struggling.

[Ginevra]

Some much less, a few much more. We have struggled financially and been blessed financially. We always have tried to be generous. We give a certain percent to our church, we have a missionary we are helping to support and we try to share with those in need. We found with each child we had my husband's income rose. He income has tripled since we had just one child. We do have a lot of medical bills and I do try to be frugal so we can give away as much as we can. I don't think I answered your question. I do not know why God is blessing us financially. I know other families who I am sure give as much and struggle. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: to everyone struggling.

 

Well, hell, there's incentive for having more kids! :D

 

I personally don't think God blesses people in particular, but yours is the more popular viewpoint.

[edelweiss]

Our family is fortunate to be prospering. DH started his own business about 5 years ago and that has made a world of difference for us. When I hear about all of the layoffs going on everywhere, I am so grateful that he started his business when he did and that we won't be blindsided by a company's decision.

 

It was a long, hard road to get here though. DH and I are both children of divorce and both of us were under the poverty line at times of our childhood. When I was in junior high and high school, I knew that I wanted better than that for myself and I made a conscious effort to learn from more affluent people and try to emulate their choices. I was willing to work very hard to make it so.

 

DH and I met in college. We both got our degrees (I was the first one in either side of my family to get one!). I went on to get a master's degree as well. Once I was finished, DH and I got married. By then we had dated for almost 4 years and I knew that he was a great guy with a great work ethic and was financially conservative like me. (Of course, I totally loved him as well, but I wouldn't have thought that he was "the one" if he didn't have those qualities.)

 

When we were married, we didn't have two nickels to rub together, but I knew that we had potential. :)

 

--We never got into debt. We always lived below our means and didn't buy anything unless we could pay for it.

 

--We waited almost 7 years to have children. We wanted to be financially stable before we started our family. We also chose to only have 2 children.

 

--Prior to having children, we moved around a lot. If we had stayed in the same area as our families, we would never be doing as well now. Every time we moved, DH took a job worth more money and that offered more experience.

 

--We made the decision that DH's career would take precedence. We decided that we wanted me to stay home with the children (once we had them), so although I had a career as well, his came first in our decision-making.

 

--Being home with the children, helped his career as well. He was able to travel, not miss work for sick children, etc.

 

--Once he started his own business, he had plenty of clients that were more than happy to follow him. I credit DH's strong work ethic, honest behavior, and people skills for his business' success, as well as his knowledge and work savvy. What can I say? He is a great guy! :D

 

We have upgraded our lifestyle, but we are still careful not to go beyond our means. We moved to a much larger house, but we moved partly because DH needed appropriate office space (he works from home) and partly because it is closer to my kids' activities.

[musicmommy]

We are in a position that I never thought we would be in. My dh is the first in his family to go to college and the only reason he went was because he knew I wanted him to. I was a teacher at the time.

 

It took a great deal of pain and heartache to get to where we are today. We had a period of several years where we went through health issues, struggled in our marriage, several deaths in the family during holidays and to top it off, a little over a year of unemployment. When my husband finally got a job, he was hired only because they needed a certain number of new hires. The guy doing the hiring never thought he'd actually make it in the field of finance, but it's been an amazing journey.

 

I guess the biggest thing I can attribute it to is that we've always tried to live below our means. (and rock bottom is pretty hard to live below!) Things like qualifying for a larger mortgage, but knowing we didn't need a bigger, better house.

 

I don't know. Our life has been a crazy roller coaster. I still think it is amazing that we are where we are today after what we've been through. Oh, there is the fact that my husband is a financial consultant and he feels that he can't help his clients to do the right thing unless he's living his own life that way.

[Puma Mom]

I would say it's a combination of things. Partly, it's because we decided early on to live below our means. Because of that, we've generally had a decent cushion when an unexpected problem came up. When the financial cushion ran out at one point, we downsized dramatically, and dh cut and sold firewood to make our mortgage until then. So there's definitely a mentality of 'do what it takes.'

 

We were married our first year of college, so that year probably set the stage for what we could do if we needed to. We had saved money to be able to get married while finishing school, but there wasn't any extra. No eating out, no buying clothes, nothing that wasn't a real necessity. Of course that standard has loosened as our income went up, but we know how go back to minimal spending.

 

In general, we're really careful about any expenses that can't be cut easily. Mortgage is the big one, of course, but also cell phone plans (especially data plans) and car payments (haven't had one in many years). We'd be more likely to take a big vacation than sign up for another locked-in monthly cost.

 

The dc know that we say no to buying things even if we have the money--that whether we have the money and/or can afford it isn't the deciding factor. We know lots of people who only say no if it's too expensive--then it becomes about the money vs. whether it's a wise purchase.

 

On the 'out of our control' end of things.....we both came from divorced parents with no extra money, so we knew what it was like to live on little. We've been blessed with good health. No family inheritance or even financial help, but it wasn't ever expected either. We did both get good educations, but more importantly, I think, dh is really good at what he does and has an inner drive to do more/better.

 

I still think the biggest thing is that we live below our means and are happy with what we have.

[Ginevra]

Story: I have someone in my life who was totally freaked out that I would not spend $80 for a blouse that I liked (a lot). SHE would have. (She's also constantly broke...) I just can't imagine a blouse being worth $80. I told her I'd get it when it was on sale for $30. She said it would be sold out by then, and ... she was right. And you know what? My life goes on, even without that beautiful blouse. Now, when I told all my "bubble money" friends about this, they were horrified that someone would spend $80 for a blouse. Yet...people bought all those blouses, and they never went below $60. (grr)

 

This is a good point, and true for me, too. There are some things I just will NOT spend a lot of money on, no matter how great my financial situation looks. Even if I were a 100-millionaire, I would not buy a Prada purse, for instance. There's just no part of me that desires having that symbol and paying so dearly for it. Shoes are like this, too, especially dress shoes. I want them to match the clothing and be reasonably comfortable to wear, but I could not care less what brand they are. Once in a while, as I walk through Nordstroms, I pick up the display shoes, just to wonder who both can and will buy $157-lepard-print high heels. :D

[GMB]

I agree with the poster who observed that prosperity is relative. While we fit your criteria, we made financial hits and misses throughout our 24 year year union.

 

Here are some hits:

 

DH has a JD, was an established lawyer when we married, and had no student loans. I had just completed my MA.

 

I lucked into becoming an actuary in year one of marriage, participated in employer match, and rolled over a nice 401k when I quit after 11 years to stay home with kids.

 

The year I quit was the year DH started his own practice. He has never updated his office decor, and replaces equipment and furniture due to need rather than trend. He finds quality suits at places like Marshall's, and converts suit jackets to sport coats when suit pants wear out, and always looks great.

 

We buy used cars and drive them until repair costs exceed their value.

 

We live in the same house we bought in 1990.

 

We pay ourselves first - contribute to IRAs and savings and live off the rest.

 

Here are some misses:

 

I spent too years trying to "keep up with the Joneses" before I embraced DH's value approach to life.

 

I lobbied to use student loans to finance my second MA, thinking it would "help" us by not reducing disposable income.

 

We only started our kid's college plans when they were in elementary school.

 

What is uncontrollable:

We have been healthy, not been sued, not been in terrible accidents...

[Sevilla]

Being skilled in the 'top 10' most in-demand job fields is the biggest factor for us. The other is family support (not in terms of giving us money, but in sharing resources such as tools for working on a house, loaning a vehicle if ours is broken down, free babysitting, etc... - all of those things add up to a significant amount of money were we to be purchasing those services on our own).

Edited August 28, 2011 by Sevilla

[BigMamaBird]

 

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

Interesting question. My dh has very little post High School education. He received a certificate at a local community college and training through the Marine Corp Reserves. So I wouldn't say education exactly. But he's gotten to where he is by working hard, having a genuine enjoyment of his job and the fact that we live in an area where his profession is highly employable.

 

As to background, we were both raised in families where hard work was stressed. Neither of us were pressured to get a college degree simply because it was "the thing you did." If he had gotten a degree I believe he would have had a much harder time getting a job because his expectations would have been higher. He's gotten to where he is through on the job experience.

 

Of course good health has helped us because neither of us had needed to take massive amounts of time off because of illness.

 

I don't believe in luck. But I definitely believe we've been abundantly blessed by God. Dh has a job he loves, we're near family, we're healthy. We're not financially rich by any means, we're solidly Mid-Middle Class. But we consider ourselves very well off in terms of what counts. :D

[justamouse]

We're good. We rarely went into debt (business and my mistakes with credit cards when I was first married) but once we recovered from them-we made sure to never go into debt again. *I* made sure, rather, because it was MY mistake-not his. ;) We saved, we never lived above our means, we deliberately lived below our means.

 

Now let me tell you, in the last 10 years living like that SUCKED. Hugely sucked. I wanted crap, too! :D It's really hard to not buy anything when everyone was buying everything. Everyone bought big, huge, houses and we lived in a teeny, tiny house (while having more kids!). Everyone was going out to dinner and we were living on a budget, eating beans and rice (which we still are to stay in a budget). My friends would show me everything they bought, and I never bought a thing-or I bought it at the thrift store. I always was happy for them too, I just would get tired of 'saving' and I'd whine.:tongue_smilie:But now the country is in financial distress and we're the ones that bought a big new house--which also sucks in an emotional way.

 

The Millionaire Next Door-it's all true. It's a good book.

Edited August 28, 2011 by justamouse

[kdeno]

Well, hell, there's incentive for having more kids! :D

 

 

I knew it sounded bizarre when I typed it. :lol::tongue_smilie:

 

I personally don't think God blesses people in particular, but yours is the more popular viewpoint.

 

 

 

Danielle,

 

I do think God blesses people specifically but as far as our situation goes we have been doing the same thing whether we were struggling or doing better financially. I do not think that God is blessing us for anything we have done. It may change, my husband could lose him job tomorrow.

 

 

I just wanted to clarify in case my prior post sounded like

 

" God is blessing us due to our wonderful obedience to Him and our unboundless kindness to all who are graced with our presence." :tongue_smilie:

Respectfully,

 

Kariann

[Ginevra]

Danielle,

 

I do think God blesses people specifically but as far as our situation goes we have been doing the same thing whether we were struggling or doing better financially. I do not think that God is blessing us for anything we have done. It may change, my husband could lose him job tomorrow.

 

 

I just wanted to clarify in case my prior post sounded like

 

" God is blessing us due to our wonderful obedience to Him and our unboundless kindness to all who are graced with our presence." :tongue_smilie:

Respectfully,

 

Kariann

 

I appreciate your very gracious response, but TBH, "God's blessing" always sounds to me like the bolded part you don't mean.

 

I was just working over at the church and a man, who was helping work also, was telling me his interesting story of faith. He was saying how coming to our church really woke him up, spoke of how he does X, Y, Z now that he didn't do before and then (I cringe) added that his business is much more prosperous now. He directly related it, "God is blessing me in business and I believe that is His reward for doing X, Y, Z now." This kind of thinking really *bugs* me. It seriously begs the question of why other faithful servants of God don't see a big uptick in their business. It seriously begs the question as to why non-servants of God see a big uptick in their business notwithstanding.

 

Rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous.

 

When I cite "luck", I pretty much mean the randomness of life. I think, in the randomness of life, some people have a large proportion of good things happen and some have a large proportion of carppy things happen.

 

YMMV, of course; it always does. :001_smile:

[kdeno]

I appreciate your very gracious response, but TBH, "God's blessing" always sounds to me like the bolded part you don't mean.

 

I was just working over at the church and a man, who was helping work also, was telling me his interesting story of faith. He was saying how coming to our church really woke him up, spoke of how he does X, Y, Z now that he didn't do before and then (I cringe) added that his business is much more prosperous now. He directly related it, "God is blessing me in business and I believe that is His reward for doing X, Y, Z now." This kind of thinking really *bugs* me.

 

:iagree::iagree:Yes, this bugs me too. I think about this a lot. I don't have the answer on it.

 

 

My bil who is a Pastor has said "there would be a lot more people following Jesus if it wasn't for all of the Christians".

 

It seriously begs the question of why other faithful servants of God don't see a big uptick in their business. It seriously begs the question as to why non-servants of God see a big uptick in their business notwithstanding.

 

Rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous.

 

:iagree:

 

When I cite "luck", I pretty much mean the randomness of life. I think, in the randomness of life, some people have a large proportion of good things happen and some have a large proportion of carppy things happen.

 

 

:iagree::iagree: I have seen this. I have *lived* this. I have been through a lot the past few years. Lots of Carp. Some of it I can't see at all why and never will. Some of it I can see. I needed to learn compassion, I needed to be humbled. I thought life was a formula.

 

 

I have a friend, deceased husband, 5 children, poverty (for our country) and **breast cancer** and yes, now she has to move for the second time in a year. I have faith that God sees everything and is allowing this for some reason but if I can say this reverently, I have honestly said "really Lord?".

 

 

 

YMMV, of course; it always does. :001_smile:

 

:grouphug:

[WishboneDawn]

Good fortune.

 

Sometimes I think it's all because of what we do and yes, to some degree it is but we spent 10 years doing what we are today in everyday life and going nowhere financially. It finally took an inside tip about a job to bump our income up substantially.

 

It feel deceptive to claim it was all us.

[The Girls' Mom]

We do pretty well. I think it's a combination of luck, a steady job for dh (20 years next year at the same place) and careful living.

 

We don't spend what we don't have. We've never run up credit card debt. When we do have extra money come in, for whatever reason, we take care of bills first, fun stuff later. We were fortunate enough to inherit enough money to pay off our mortgage. We currently have no debt, and have plans to stay that way if possible. Even before the payoff of the mortgage we were careful.

[mcconnellboys]

God's grace.

 

Common sense.

 

Good work ethic and some degree of frugality.

[deacongirl]

It seriously begs the question of why other faithful servants of God don't see a big uptick in their business. It seriously begs the question as to why non-servants of God see a big uptick in their business notwithstanding.

 

Rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous.

 

When I cite "luck", I pretty much mean the randomness of life. I think, in the randomness of life, some people have a large proportion of good things happen and some have a large proportion of carppy things happen.

 

YMMV, of course; it always does. :001_smile:

 

:iagree:Well said.

[Denisemomof4]

we are comfortable and I feel blessed. I have many friends, but of my four very close family-like friends, two are very poor (below the poverty level), one is like dh and I, and one is very well off. My relationship with three of them is very similar and we all have similar personalities. The forth friend is a friend of 38 years and while she's like a sister to me, we have NOTHING in common, especially when it comes to money. She's poor and can barely support herself but at 48 lives at home and buys herself all designer clothing, nice cars, department store make-up, designer EVERYTHING. She's so materialistic it actually bothers me.

 

I can really relate to my friend who is very poor. I remember those times in the early part of our marriage. I have a great ear if she needs one, and it makes me so happy to be able to do little things for her like take her out to eat, give her a designer purse (she's a purse person, I am NOT!) etc. Her husband sorts mail for the post office (LOVE HIM!!!) she's a SAHM, and I'm so thankful that our husbands and families all get along so well.

 

Being so entirely different never mattered to me. I don't care if you're rich or poor. I have friends of each. A good hearted, down to earth personality is what is most important to me. If you also have a great sense of humor, we will get along fabulously.:D

 

ETA: I only read the first post and am severely sleep deprived. I hope I am making sense. I just saw a response and it TOTALLY confused me but I know threads can sometimes take a life of their own. LOL

[mommaduck]

Rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous.

 

When I cite "luck", I pretty much mean the randomness of life. I think, in the randomness of life, some people have a large proportion of good things happen and some have a large proportion of carppy things happen.

 

 

Thank you for posting this. There are so many people out there that are judged with "well, you didn't do enough" when they are doing everything humanly possible and may have even done everything "right". I've dealt with so much bad luck the past two months that most would not be able to believe. We've had a three things that I can count that has gone "right". But each day, my husband would walk through the door and I'd say, "are you ready for more bad news?" It literally became a joke. But now it's like a bad joke, on a scratched record.

[Ginevra]

Thank you for posting this. There are so many people out there that are judged with "well, you didn't do enough" when they are doing everything humanly possible and may have even done everything "right". I've dealt with so much bad luck the past two months that most would not be able to believe. We've had a three things that I can count that has gone "right". But each day, my husband would walk through the door and I'd say, "are you ready for more bad news?" It literally became a joke. But now it's like a bad joke, on a scratched record.

 

I'm sorry. That is so lousy. :grouphug:

[PrairieSong]

We started out poor (both unemployed!) when we married, and then had low-paying jobs, so we learned to be very frugal and not accumulate debt.

 

Dh is from a hard-working farm family. His dad told him, "You'll never get ahead if you work for someone else." (Not always true, I know.) Dh got a degree in finance and started his own successful business in the real estate field (not sales) about 25 years ago. The business has grown as he continually proves to his clients that he is honest and hard-working.

 

Dh wasn't a star student. He's not naturally "book smart" but is business savvy and is blessed with abundant common sense. He knows about investing, and though we took a hit in the early 2000's, we are doing pretty well. We're not gazillionaires but we have money saved for retirement, and investments in real estate and other things.

 

I still love thrift stores and garage sales, and I cook most things from scratch. I shop for bargains and try to use my head. We drive our cars a long time, till they start needing expensive repairs. I'm not a tightwad, but I love a bargain. It's ingrained in me. I also love having some extra $ to give to charitable causes.

[plansrme]

(Pardon the smilie in the subject line--It wasn't intentional, and now I don't know how to take it out.)

 

This is an interesting thread. I would say:

 

* Both of us deliberately chose educational paths that would make us employable. We are both attorneys, and we went to good law schools and worked our tails off to make good grades there. Going to a third-tier law school and graduating at the bottom of your class is likely to be a waste of time and money, so we each very consciously chose law schools that were well-respected and were relatively good values and made sure we did well enough there to get jobs when we graduated.

 

For the record, neither of us had ANY financial support towards either our undergraduate or law degrees. We financed undergraduate tuition and living expenses at good state schools with scholarships and jobs, and we both took out loans to pay for law school. Neither one of us comes from any family money, and neither set of parents has contributed to our education or living expenses since the summer after our respective high school graduations. Even though I went to one of the pricier law schools out there, we paid off both of our loans within 7 years.

 

* Getting married late® in life, i.e., 27 and 30 and "only" having 3 kids.

 

* My working at least part-time throughout our entire marriage.

 

* Only seeking or taking jobs with firms that offer decent health insurance.

 

* Buying homes that were far less expensive than we could supposedly

afford. If we had to move, and our house had lost half of its value, we would still have had somewhere to live and would eventually recover from the loss.

 

Terri

Edited August 28, 2011 by plansrme
Smilie disclaimer

[WishboneDawn]

Thank you for posting this. There are so many people out there that are judged with "well, you didn't do enough" when they are doing everything humanly possible and may have even done everything "right". I've dealt with so much bad luck the past two months that most would not be able to believe. We've had a three things that I can count that has gone "right". But each day, my husband would walk through the door and I'd say, "are you ready for more bad news?" It literally became a joke. But now it's like a bad joke, on a scratched record.

 

:grouphug:

 

I've met too many hard working, decent people who've struggled to think luck and fortune didn't have anything to do with it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thank you for posting this. There are so many people out there that are judged with "well, you didn't do enough" when they are doing everything humanly possible and may have even done everything "right". I've dealt with so much bad luck the past two months that most would not be able to believe. We've had a three things that I can count that has gone "right". But each day, my husband would walk through the door and I'd say, "are you ready for more bad news?" It literally became a joke. But now it's like a bad joke, on a scratched record.

 

You know, (just musing out loud here), we all have different tests and trials in our life. I've had people rag on me because I didn't share their particular tests but let me tell you, I really don't think they would want the daily health tests that I've had for the last 20 years. We've had some financial tests (we lost half our money about 10 years ago due to very bad professional financial advice, for instance) but our financial tests have never been to the dire straits of some. But I'm not so naive as to not think that I couldn't have those tests. I want to make good choices if I can but realize that there is so much that is beyond our control.

[plansrme]

I want to make good choices if I can but realize that there is so much that is beyond our control.

 

Certainly this is true, but I get sick of hearing from people who think that nothing is within their control. They're perennial victims; bad stuff just happens to them for no reason... Not you (Jean), of course, but among my personal acquaintances, and certainly on news stories, I hear this a lot. When I hear it from people I know, I frequently bite my tongue so I don't start rattling off the bad decisions the speaker has made that have had precisely the result I, for one, would have foreseen.

 

Yes, there are many things that are not within our control, and you can make all the right decisions in the world and still be screwed, but success is only rarely an accident.

 

Terri

[Jean in Newcastle]

Certainly this is true, but I get sick of hearing from people who think that nothing is within their control. They're perennial victims; bad stuff just happens to them for no reason... Not you (Jean), of course, but among my personal acquaintances, and certainly on news stories, I hear this a lot. When I hear it from people I know, I frequently bite my tongue so I don't start rattling off the bad decisions the speaker has made that have had precisely the result I, for one, would have foreseen.

 

Yes, there are many things that are not within our control, and you can make all the right decisions in the world and still be screwed, but success is only rarely an accident.

 

Terri

 

I know people like that too, so I do get it. But I think that we can only prepare for so many lemons at one time. Sometimes there is a cascade of bad stuff that happens all at once that can overwhelm even a life of good decisions. And that can be catastrophic to someone financially. But - if and when that happens, the same good choices that allowed that person to live with prosperity for a time, will allow them to move on and start on that road again.

[74Heaven]

No debt. We also live in a lower cost (not as low as some places) area of the country. My dh has also been continually employed for our entire marriage.

 

But mostly, being *healthy* and debt free = being in a good place economically.

 

We are by no means wealthy by American standards. Income wise, prob. lower middle class? But we live like upper middle class, due to above.

 

We decided to be debt free about 3-4 years into our marriage - and have stayed that way (not counting mortgage) for 20ish years.

 

No credit card payments, no car loans, no dentist loans, etc. etc.

 

It makes all the difference.

 

LJ

[Misty]

We meet the criteria you listed. I attribute it mostly to my husband's education and hard work. And also the fact that I'm not much of a shopper or into primping.. I'll wear the same pair of shoes until they fall apart. I do have a weakness for books though.

[justamouse]

Certainly this is true, but I get sick of hearing from people who think that nothing is within their control. They're perennial victims; bad stuff just happens to them for no reason... Not you (Jean), of course, but among my personal acquaintances, and certainly on news stories, I hear this a lot. When I hear it from people I know, I frequently bite my tongue so I don't start rattling off the bad decisions the speaker has made that have had precisely the result I, for one, would have foreseen.

 

Yes, there are many things that are not within our control, and you can make all the right decisions in the world and still be screwed, but success is only rarely an accident.

 

Terri

 

I know people like that too, so I do get it. But I think that we can only prepare for so many lemons at one time. Sometimes there is a cascade of bad stuff that happens all at once that can overwhelm even a life of good decisions. And that can be catastrophic to someone financially. But - if and when that happens, the same good choices that allowed that person to live with prosperity for a time, will allow them to move on and start on that road again.

 

Both very true.

 

Addendum: To say that we got where we are *only* because we stayed out of debt is false. We made some strange to outsider decisions, that paid off. Had they NOT paid off? Wow, life would be different. But, knowing myself and my Dh, we would have gotten back up again.

[Mrs Twain]

I haven't read all of the posts, but I'll add that I read an interesting book, _The Millionaire Next Door_. I don't agree with the goal of the book (that the goal of life is to become rich), but I learned a lot from their research on how people who are millionaires are able to accumulate money.

 

It didn't have much or anything to do with education or with income level. There are many people who make very large incomes but who have no net worth. There are also many other people who make relatively low incomes but who have saved a lot of money. Doing well financially has much to do with being frugal, and not making purchases or lifestyle decisions based on achieving status. Other factors were things like staying married to your original spouse (divorce often ruins people financially).

 

The two best things you can do for your kids to help them financially that they deduced from their research was to:

1. teach them to be frugal (no matter how much money you make--even if you make a large income) and

2. to pay for their education if possible (college and grad school)

These are also useful things for grandparents to give to their grandkids.

It is mostly harmful to give money to kids. It is much better to teach them how to live a frugal lifestyle and how to avoid buying things or paying for things only for status.

 

I am a Christian, and I attribute our financial success to applying principles of the Bible. We follow a lot of Dave Ramsey advice which goes along those lines.

[Ipsey]

I agree that a good education can Really help out. And Working hard and good health! And luck! Luck too!

 

My husband and I have terminal degrees in both of our fields and lived below the poverty line for the last 5 years. (While he was getting his Ph.D.--he had a Master's until that point, but got sidetracked into Christian ministry, realized after 5 years he didn't have a future there, and had to go back to school). We're finally making some money, and we've always been very frugal and saved all we can, and we're debt-free besides the house, but still we're going to be eating cat food in our old age. :(

 

I used to believe that you should follow what you love and that you'll find a way to make money at it. "Follow your bliss!" Frankly, now I'm telling my children, think of something you like and find the field that can make you the most money that is somewhat related to it. I wish my husband and I had done that. We like what we do, but we'd rather not have the financial horrors we do. I hope my children make enough money so that they can help us out some day if we need it :(

 

I'm sad at how much of my idealism is gone, but my childish ideals are over. The reality has been hard.

[OrganicAnn]

A combination of factors. Education/genetics as in smarts that translated into jobs. Financial education from my mother (don't live beyond your means, balance your checkbook, make sure you don't live paycheck to paycheck, have money for emergencies). Priorities from my father that money shouldn't be the only goal, not have the biggest house, things like gardening are worthwhile, etc.

[Sandra in FL]

Since we've been married, the only debt we've had is the house mortgage. It's meant driving old cars into the ground, going without vacations, etc.

 

I think that the most important factor in our financial good fortune has been that I lived at home with my parents for 12 years after college (graduated top 10% and got free tuition to state uni) and was able to save. I invested in a rental house, sold it and had savings for the down payment on our present house. Before we got married, I paid off dh's student loans and credit card debt. We resisted the urge to fix up our home (when it seemed like everyone else was doing it) when the housing market was high. I'm so glad as many took out 2nd mortgages and improved homes that now aren't worth as much.

 

It is very important to me that our children are debt-free when they are finished with college so that they don't start out in a hole. I'll encourage them to go to state universities and live at home as I did and save.

Edited August 28, 2011 by Sandra in FL

[Night Elf]

DH gets all the credit for our financial success. He's a smart guy who has made some smart decisions. He has a Masters degree and has been able to get professional jobs that offer superb salaries, bonuses, and benefits. He was very lucky to be in such a special position at work when they started having layoffs. Basically he's too valuable to lose, but that won't always be the case. He's financially saavy and manages our money very well. He manages the investments of his 401K so that it is growing, even though it's a slow growth. The different houses we've owned were always well under what the banks were willing to give us. We're not the 'keep up with the joneses' type people.

 

I sincerely hope my children will be like him. I'm the irresponsible spendy mindy type personality. So far they all seem to be more financially saavy than I am currently. So far, so good.

[plansrme]

I used to believe that you should follow what you love and that you'll find a way to make money at it. "Follow your bliss!" Frankly, now I'm telling my children, think of something you like and find the field that can make you the most money that is somewhat related to it.

 

:iagree:

Whoever first preached, "Do what you love, the money will follow," is responsible for a lot of poor people.

 

Terri

[KrissiK]

Well, according to the OP's definition we are prospering financially. I think it is for the following reasons:

1) We married late in life and DH especially, had acquired a modest nest egg.

2) DH bought his house (before we married) before the market boom, we sold at almost the peak and had a hefty down payment for our new house. So, with our house we have more than 50% equity.

3) We keep our cars forever and pay them off ASAP.

4) We're cheap with things that don't matter. Pay as you go cells, no cable because those things we don't care about.

5) DH has a decent job.

6) We try to live frugally and within our means.

[mommaduck]

Okay, I'll say this:

 

We are prosperous in that DH has a job (when many don't), that we can make our bills (when many can't), and that we have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and food to eat. I'm just in a carpy mood today...tomorrow will be better (home business failure...I've had several of those).

[Lawana]

I heard (was it Dave Ramsey?) that the five friends closest to you have an income relatively close to yours. (Someone correct me if I've misquoted this.)

 

While exceptions abound, I think we generally gravitate toward those that are similar to us. Because of this, sometimes it's hard for us to understand what it's like to be in an entirely different economic situation because we simply don't see it.

 

For instance, if one lives in relative affluence, it's easy to share financial advice that may not be helpful to someone that can't afford to buy healthy food at the grocery store. Also, if one is surrounded by people struggling financially, it's hard to understand how some families can afford to enroll their kids in multiple activities, buy new clothing, driver newer cars, etc.

 

I think this board has been great about educating everyone on financial struggles. While these threads get contentious, I really think they've changed perceptions by hearing honest, raw stories and examples about struggles.

 

We haven't had a lot of threads on financial prosperity, though. Can we do this in a way that would inform and still stay pleasant?

 

For the purposes of this thread, prospering financially means you have enough to pay all bills each month, have some savings, live in a house you consider comfortable, have access to good medical care, and can afford to purchase healthy food. Also, if you had an unexpected bill, such as a car repair, it wouldn't cause financial hardship for the month.

 

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

Since we don't have any friends, there is noone with whom to compare income.

 

By your definition we are prospering financially. We have no debt. Our daughter has a chronic medical condition that, without insurance, would be difficult to manage. She needs supplies, every three days, that would cost $30 out-of-pocket. But we have insurance that covers 80% of the cost.

 

Dh was raised by a single mother, working a low paying job. I was raised in a two parent family, with a single income that started at minimum wage. By the time I was 14, my mother worked part time as a nurse, which relieved a lot of financial strain on our family. Dh's family did not value education, but mine did. (Both my maternal grandparents had master's degrees in entymology, but didn't rise above substistance level living until after my mother left home. Think farm with no electricity or running water in the 1940's. Yeah, outhouse, carting water in 50 gal. drums to drink, cook, wash, do laundry.) Both our families were firmly entrenched in poverty.

 

What was different for dh was a drive and ambition to do better. Having endured two different stays at an orphanage, the first at seven, then again at eleven, he experienced first hand the effects of cold and hunger. From his experiences, he developed the overwhelming compulsion to never be cold and hungry again.

 

He joined the navy at 17, (during the Viet Nam war, in order to avoid being drafted into the army) later completing high school while stationed in CA (after serving in country as a corpsman). Upon discharge, he enrolled in college, only to be faced with the unexpected arrival of a child, which lead him to enter the work force full time. To make a long story short, he never completed his degree, but accumulated much real life experience along the way. After many jobs that gave him experience, but no security, he hired with a company that has, to this day, made use of his unique blend of talents, experience, and knowledge (yes, I still use the Oxford comma).

 

Honestly, he is a hard man to get along with. Do I credit luck, or work experience and knowledge, with his position, many years and many raises later, with his 6 figure salary? Certainly it has *nothing* to do with advantages from background. He was called a *bastard* by his teacher in school because his mother's last name was different from his, and his brother's, even though his mother was married to his brother's father, then his own father, then someone else (which ended all too soon.) But this was the 1950's, in the South. Class and race were everything. In other words, even if you could pass the race test, if you were perceived as "trash", you were.

 

In other words, *despite* a background of poverty, being perceived of as low class, with *no* advantages other than his innate personality, dh managed to rise above this to achieve his current financial security.

 

We are abundantly aware, however, that this is not the case for everyone. I have a cousin, who, having been raised in even poorer circumstances than myself, has a heart of gold, but no worldly position to show for it. He has made life richer for my mother, when we were too far away to do so. And for no other reason than it was in the goodness of his heart.

 

So to answer your question: there is no one thing to attribute success to. While it would be easy to say effort and personality, there is probably much more to it than that.

[amy g.]

I agree with no debt and living below our means. I'm not sure about luck or blessings. Neither of us had parents who could pay for our education, but we both graduated from college with very little debt.

 

Dh has a world class work ethic which means that even though we graduated from college in 1988 when it was very hard to find an engineering job, he was hired anyway. It wasn't for as much money as we would have liked, and it wasn't even in the right state, but we were grateful for it.

 

Later, when that company went under, and I was pregnant with Miss Good, he was the only employee asked to work for the new company instead of just being laid off. It wasn't in the town where we liked living, but we were grateful for it.

 

When we started looking for a house, we took a huge risk, and bought a house that was in such bad shape that we had to use our savings to make repairs BEFORE closing. We had $11 in the bank at closing, but it really paid off for us. We fixed it up ourselves over 10 years and more than doubled our investment.

 

We always buy used cars for cash. We always do our own repairs unless it is just not possible. Dh spent all day today fixing the kitchen sink.

 

 

 

 

I did get an inheritance from my grandmother and will get another one from my dad's estate. I also inherited royalties that are ongoing, but I'm giving that money to my children. Dh will have an inheritance from his mother. I have used all of the money I inherited for investments. I didn't even buy any new

clothes first.

 

Here is what I attribute our good fortune to:

high IQ, good health, strong work ethic, no debt, low spending or living below our means, taking risks, and inheritance.

[Scarymelon]

After ten years of marriage, we are in a comfortable place financially (able to afford extras, not living paycheck to paycheck and savings). We were never in bad financial shape, but this is the first time I would ever say that we were prospering. It is really a direct result of my education; I finished my masters to become an NP two years ago and that has enabled me to get a part time job that pays well and provides health insurance. For us it was a combination of working, timing, and good luck. I also credit government programs that enabled me to get through school debt free as well. We both grew up in lower income households, so just having enough money to pay bills without stress feels really good. Now we also help support my parents, who were really horrible with money and are living on social security.