Mom's of color/ African american/Black/ or what ever you call yourselves!

[Senorita Tuna Fish]

Sorry for the long title but in light of recent post about what we prefer to call ourselves I wanted to make sure I got all of the identifiers! Ok, now on to my question:

 

Do you have trouble with other members of yous racial community understanding your choice to home school? Do you find that your often being hounded with questions as to why you do it, or why you want to do what the "white people" do? Do you find it hard to fit in during social setting that are more concentrated on either side? Do your children have issues identifying who they are in terms of race or ethnicity? Fro example when your in a setting with more non colored people do you children have question about hair, or why they are different,etc? I'm not asking to offend or exclude people! These are things that we are struggling with. I feel like I'm being tugged and pulled on things that I don't even consider! Sometimes it feels like being an outsider on both sides. It's becomeing increasingly harder to find likeminded people who won't make race a big issue or who won't feel uncomfortable about discussing things...Oh it's just a big jumble and I'm just wondering how you handle this. I know it seems naive but I thought that when we started home schooling that we would be received in the home school community with open arms and that race would never be an issue, I'm finding out it's not the case at all. I had one lady at a convention smile in my face, talk to my children, tell them how beautiful they were, turn around to leave only to come back because my little one forgot her bag to hear her saying to another person " Well now we know the home school community is going to fail now we have black people thinking they can do it too" to wich the onther person replies " I know did you see that there is a black vendor selling some crap music math songs a few aisles over".......Now I'm not saying all of my experiences have been like this but there have been a lot more than I expected! So long story short how do you deal? Thanks for listening! :001_smile:

[the4Rs]

I am a white mom but the story you heard at convention disgusted me. I am SO sorry that there are people so hateful like that. Makes me angry that people can be so bigotted about skin color. I hope you have better experiences than that as you go along. I love the diversity in homeschooling! Again, just wanted to comment on how sorry I am you had to deal with that at all.

[twoxcell]

I have no advice as I am not African American, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that anyone would treat you like that.:001_huh: That is just unfathomable to me. I have always struggled with prejudice it just doesn't make sense to me. :grouphug:

[Capt_Uhura]

because my little one forgot her bag to hear her saying to another person " Well now we know the home school community is going to fail now we have black people thinking they can do it too" to wich the onther person replies " I know did you see that there is a black vendor selling some crap music math songs a few aisles over".......Now I'm not saying all of my experiences have been like this but there have been a lot more than I expected! So long story short how do you deal? Thanks for listening! :001_smile:

 

It's going to take me awhile to get over the shock of that statement. Maybe I'll be able to think straight in a moment once I stop banging my head against a brick wall.:cursing::banghead::mad::angry::(:sad:

 

 

Your post just brought tears to my eyes. I can't even post anything right now. I'm sorry.

Edited May 9, 2011 by Capt_Uhura

[poetic license]

This is so shocking and upsetting, I am so sorry you had to hear that, I too am stunned and don't know what to say.

 

I am from Pakistan, so a person of color (not black or African American, but non white), and I generally find it hard to fit in, not necessarily in homeschool groups, but in moms groups like at library storytimes and such. It doesn't help that I wear a religious head covering as well...

[LBS]

Report that vendor to the homeschool association who sponsored that fair. Or, if easier, refer them to your post here.

 

I am appalled and disgusted that you would experience this. I'm in Virginia, and can't wait to ask my homeschool acquaintances, if they've experienced this, in the homeschool community. I don't have a big network, not a long time homeschooler, but have one friend/acquaintance, she's cauc with children of color, and she is especially sensitive to comments, and she is homeschooling two kids, and ps for one, right now.

 

I am so sorry. I hope your little sparkle and shine girls did not hear one word of that ignorance.

 

Oops, I meant sparkle and shimmer girls.

Edited May 9, 2011 by LBS

[The Girls' Mom]

Wow...I'm so disgusted by what you heard.

 

I'm not black, but one of my very close, homeschooling friends is. I HOPE that she never feels that way around our HS group or our family. We love her and her family dearly. I do know that she feels somewhat ostricized from her own family because she homeschools, and that she hasn't really ran across many other black homeschoolers. It has to be so tough...

 

ETA: I hope you can find some families that race isn't an issue with. My friend...her kids and mine are SO comfortable around each other. They have talked about the differences in their skin color and hair, but it's been honest curiosity on both sides. (like the day my dd and her son were experimenting to see if dark skin or light skin felt hotter in the sun) My friend and I also complain about our hair woes to each other...different problems, but kind of fun to talk about.

Edited May 9, 2011 by Apryl H

[Senorita Tuna Fish]

I am a white mom but the story you heard at convention disgusted me. I am SO sorry that there are people so hateful like that. Makes me angry that people can be so bigotted about skin color. I hope you have better experiences than that as you go along. I love the diversity in homeschooling! Again, just wanted to comment on how sorry I am you had to deal with that at all.

 

Thank you so much for your kind words! I know that everyone isn't like that but I genuinely expected a whole lot more openness. I knew that it wouldn't be all roses and sunshine but I never expected that!

[QueenCat]

:grouphug:s, I'm disgusted by what you've experienced. I'm white but am friends with, as are my children, of people of many races. Not a consideration for us when considering friendships.

[stripe]

Oh no. That's awful.

 

:grouphug:

 

And reinforces the reputation of homeschoolers as people whose kids are isolated from diversity.

 

With a name like Senorita Tuna Fish, I think you're great.

[elegantlion]

It's going to take me awhile to get over the shock of that statement. Maybe I'll be able to think straight in a moment once I stop banging my head against a brick wall.:cursing::banghead::mad::angry::(:sad:

 

 

Your post just brought tears to my eyes. I can't even post anything right now. I'm sorry.

 

We just moved from an area that was openly racist. I'm a pasty white woman and it makes my blood boil, especially the comments I would get assuming I was racist because I am white.

 

I am sorry you were in the company ignorant fools.

[meggie]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: to you!

 

I find it absolutely disgusting that people would think that. I'm just shocked beyond words.

[teamturner]

I hope you will really consider reporting this incident to the organizer of the convention. Also, report it to the company that this person was representing as they likely too would do something about it. That person should not be representing anyone at a convention. That's just awful!!

 

:grouphug: I too love the diversity of the homeschooling community and hope that it continues to become more so.

[kchara]

Oh. my. word. I agree with reporting that vendor. That's just horrible. :grouphug::grouphug: One of the things I love about homeschooling is the chance to meet a diverse group of people. I'm so very sorry you had to deal with that.

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

We're black too. :seeya: When we first started homeschooling, we faced LOTS of racism. I didn't note where you are, but we're in the South, so it's just a fact of life even though it never occurred to me that it would happen in homeschool circles and it shocked me like a kick to the gut. I'm sorry you've experienced this, I know exactly how you feel and there really is nothing to tell you except to forget about it. Kick the dust off and keep rocking, you can't let anyone else's ignorance get you down.

 

There are lot of people who will use their race, religion or economic status as a weapon. That's just who they are. You can't let it be a reflection on who you are. It's all about them. None of it is about you.

 

I really had to look around before I found a group that was truly diverse and open-minded. It's worth the work. WORK at it. It was important to me that my son see different colored families homeschooling with success. It was worth the time, effort, and energy that it took. Even though my son has graduated now, those kids and us Moms are still friends and get together often even though we are all on decidedly different paths.

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you. :grouphug: Please don't let it discourage you on your journey.

[Veritaserum]

:grouphug: That's awful. :(

[annandatje]

I am not shocked or surprised, only disappointed, at what original poster overheard. Many of my homeschooling years were spent in an openly racist part of country. Often the bigots assumed you shared their viewpoint.

 

One ridiculous acquaintance cried when she learned that I was sending one of my children to a city public high school with a little over 50% black student population. She stated that only whites who attended that school were those who could not afford private or parochial schools. My formerly homeschooled student was leaving the private school for reasons that had nothing to do with finances.

 

My student thrived at the city high school and has fond memories of time there. When we did move out of the city district to county [because we needed more space], my student opted to homeschool again instead of going to the sought-after mostly white county high school.

 

It was odd; we were the reverse of the city parents who used relative's address to get their students into white county school. We were suburb parents who were trying to get student into the inner city school because we still owned house in city. The city school system disallowed it because we did not actually occupy the house but were landlords with tenants occupying house.

Edited May 9, 2011 by annandatje

[KnitWit]

Senorita Tuna Fish, I am so sorry. I am a white woman living in the south so, I hate to say that it doesn't shock me because I've seen some pretty tacky behavior. :(

 

We don't see color in our friends. I never thought about the hair issue. When we first began homeschooling, we had a couple of black families that we quickly connected with. We moms used to laugh because *my* daughter wanted her hair curly and in more than two ponytails like her friends, and their daughters wanted to sit and run their fingers through my daughter's long, poker straight hair while they talked. It was so cute! Both families moved away and we were so sad to see them go. Surprisingly, they are the ones who got the flack for our friendship...but none of us cared.

 

I hope you can find some good friends along the way. :grouphug:

[LG Gone Wild]

That comment was so awful, it was funny.

[Jean in Newcastle]

To answer your original question - we've run into some resistance within the Filipino community because a public education is seen as the way to achieve the American dream. It is also the way to achieve socialization into a culture that they very much want their kids to be immersed in. But that is because the Filipinos I know are at the most 2nd generation so are still very close to the immigrants who came here to this country to get opportunities that were not available to them in the Philippines. You might have that dynamic with some people of color who are immigrants or the children of immigrants.

[LauraGB]

One more pasty white gal wanting to puke on your behalf. I know we aren't the ones you want to hear from, and I understand that, but when I hear stuff like this it makes me sick.

 

I know there are pockets of crazies throughout the states with regard to this sort of thing, but PA?? I really would not have thought it.

 

Sorry you had to deal with such ignorance, OP.

[Rosie_0801]

I am from Pakistan, so a person of color (not black or African American, but non white), and I generally find it hard to fit in, not necessarily in homeschool groups, but in moms groups like at library storytimes and such. It doesn't help that I wear a religious head covering as well...

 

Do you smile and speak first? I think many people see Muslim coverings as either a bit stand-offish, or as an indicator that the lady may not speak English well and not speaking might be more polite than embarrassing her in that way.

 

Of course I am in Australia, so I deal with different cultural baggage.

 

I tend to see a lone hijab wearer as "I'm lonely," (in that setting, at least, for the rest of their week they are probably hanging out with their Indonesian buddies cooking up crazy quantities of rice and enough chilli to terrify me :lol:) but oddly enough, the one time I've seen a lady wearing a niquab (I'm not spelling that right, the face veil) I was surprised at the standoffish feelings I got, which were obviously all in my mind since she was sitting there fiddling with her phone like everyone does :rolleyes: What makes it even more weird is I don't get standoffish vibes from ladies wearing burqa.

 

To the OP: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Some people have poor perspective. :mad: Others are just rude *ahems* :mad::mad:

 

Rosie

Edited May 10, 2011 by Rosie_0801

[Amy in NH]

I am a white mom but the story you heard at convention disgusted me. I am SO sorry that there are people so hateful like that. Makes me angry that people can be so bigotted about skin color. I hope you have better experiences than that as you go along. I love the diversity in homeschooling! Again, just wanted to comment on how sorry I am you had to deal with that at all.

 

:iagree:

 

So sorry. You'd be welcome here!

[mommaduck]

One more pasty white gal wanting to puke on your behalf. I know we aren't the ones you want to hear from, and I understand that, but when I hear stuff like this it makes me sick.

 

I know there are pockets of crazies throughout the states with regard to this sort of thing, but PA?? I really would not have thought it.

 

Sorry you had to deal with such ignorance, OP.

 

Yep, there are bigots in the boondocks here :glare:

[In the Rain]

.......Now I'm not saying all of my experiences have been like this but there have been a lot more than I expected! So long story short how do you deal? Thanks for listening! :001_smile:

 

:001_huh: I am stunned and horrified you ever had a single experience like that. :sad: The homeschool groups I've been in haven't had much racial diversity, but I've never heard anyone say something like that.

[Mrs_JWM]

I know two black families who homeschool, and both faced resistance in the black community because they were seen as unfairly reducing the black graduation rates in our city. Yes, let's keep our children in struggling schools so that our graduation rates go up by .0001%...

[learning2gether]

We are a black family and yes we often feel "in between". We have had black families say that my girls are "trying to act white", but we have also received lots of encouraging comments from the AA community. I even had a lady say to me that more AA families should homeschool, because we are the only race of people that send their children to be educated by people that have an interest in keeping them uneducated. On the other hand, we have had been hurt by comments made by some white homeschoolers. A little boy at co-op really wanted my daughter to meet his mother. He and my dd12 had become "friends" in class and he wanted his mom to meet her so that she could come over. When we walked up to the mom to introduce ourselves she smiled and said that they would have to invite dd over sometime, but as she walked away we heard her say to her son "Why didn't you tell me she was black. You should have told me that." WOW!

 

So yes, we often feel like we are in between two worlds.

[KnitWit]

I even had a lady say to me that more AA families should homeschool, because we are the only race of people that send their children to be educated by people that have an interest in keeping them uneducated.

 

Wow! I am white, but I think there is a lot of truth here, sadly.

[Pink Fairy]

I even had a lady say to me that more AA families should homeschool, because we are the only race of people that send their children to be educated by people that have an interest in keeping them uneducated.

 

I think what S.T.F. heard was deplorable, but I can't figure out who this lady was referring too. Does she believe teachers have an interest in keeping AA children uneducated? If not, who is she talking about? Please enlighten me (no snarkiness intended, I'm genuinely mystified).

[Kimber]

I've not heard statements like these, but I do feel caught in the middle. My dh is white; I am black. In fact just this weekend I was telling my dh how I felt caught in the middle of cultures.

 

I feel the need to prepare my kids for both cultures, and I'm constantly explaining little differences. I want them to be prepared.

 

I'm sorry that you had to hear those ignorant comments. I know that hurt. There are just no words to make it better. I am sorry. But I think most people are not like that. At least that's what I tell myself.

 

Actually, I feel the need to shelter my children from the feelings of anger that some blacks have toward whites. These are mostly older members of my family that have experienced racism during their youth. While I want my children to know about the past, I don't want them reliving it.

 

Kimberly

[TravelingChris]

Everywhere I have lived, the homeschooling community has been diverse. We are in speech and debate here and in a large co-op. We have Black families, African families (Ethiopian), Chinese, various ethnicities and nationalities that speak Spanish, Europeans of various nationalities, and other Asians other than Chinese (Indians, Iranians, middle eastern, etc). The one thing we all have in common is that we are Christians.

[Kimber]

I believe that statement refers to the fact that black children don't typically perform as well as other non-black students in public schools. Some believe it's because the performance expectations that some teachers have for black students are so low.

[Pink Fairy]

Thanks, Kimber, for the explanation. I hope you are right, that most people aren't racist. :grouphug:

 

And I wish that lady was correct, that it was really as simple as changing teacher expectations. My dh (a teacher) works in a school with mainly African American and Hispanic students, and I know he wants them to be successful--why wouldn't he? If for no other reason than that their success reflects well on him, and their failures reflect poorly on him.

 

Anyway, I feel icky knowing that there are people out there who have experienced racism from other homeschoolers. Here in my little bubble I never gave any thought to the idea that racist people would want to homeschool their children. :001_huh:

[KnitWit]

I think that comment is more applicable to the politicians and bureaucrats that are a bit higher up the feeding chain than teachers. (School boards...yep...funding that never seems to make it to the teachers and kids)

 

Unfortunately, there *are* those who profit, career-wise, from situations of poverty. If those conditions are removed, well then, they have to find something else to do, don't they?

 

Well, that's my opinion anyway.

[Jeanine in TX]

My husband and I are African-American. I have homeschooled for 10 years using WTM.

 

Most of my AA friends tend to send their children to elite private schools or very well regarded suburban public schools. I get very few questions about my dc being in a predominately white environment because their children are too.

 

Most of their and my family's negative comments came when my children were very young. It was very tough to be different and to continue to follow the path that my husband and I felt best. It was also hard on my children. Relief for them did not come until we moved to a large city with a wonderful homeschool sports program. Suddenly, dd and ds felt like part of a group, instead of homeschool weirdos. They needed to regularly see other youths, who have similar rules and lifestyles.

 

I continued to remain a member of predominately AA women's organizations. They know my children do well with the test scores to back it up. I think they decided different was okay in my case. So, we try to be supportive of all of our children and revel in their successes.

 

I have not really experienced overt racism in homeschool groups; but I can say that I am not close to everyone. (Couldn't most people say that?) In any case, I normally make a policy of not going out of my way to speak to anyone whom I perceive as racist or pessimistic.

[Ester Maria]

Regarding that comment... Unfortunately, there will always be people who are going to look down upon you due to your race, ethnic heritage, socioeconomic background, personal and family associations or any other "singled out" piece of information about you which they are going to "use" as a prism through which see you and, in many ways, to which reduce you.

 

It does not matter how democratic, rich, progressive, liberal and well-educated, or often even how integrated (!), society it is. The prejudices and the reductive approach do not disappear, they only get "camouflaged" better. And when you find yourself overhearing some things which were meant to be said behind the close doors (or said when people thought the doors were closed) it makes you feel sick.

 

In America it is usually a racial thing. In Italy it is more often than not a regional thing, with a strong anti-South (and anti-North sometimes too) sentiment. Between Jews it was traditionally Ashkenazi vs. Sephardi thing, with the creation of Israel it turned racial too with African Jewry. Between the wealthy it is the "old money" vs. nouveaux riches thing. Among the poor it is the accusations of the attempts of social climbing and being faced with people who try to push you "back where you belong". And when you mix the groups it gets particularly interesting, as you often find yourself being a member both of a group that traditionally looks down upon somebody and of a group that is looked down upon by somebody else.

 

So, while I am not black, I have been in situations of overhearing all sorts of less than pleasant things about some of the social groups I belonged to, or did not belong to but it still rubbed me as deeply wrong. Things paralleled to what you experienced, from "Sephardic lowlives" to "obnoxious Italians whose kids cannot behave and who are a nightmare for every hotel" (it seems to be a fairly strong stereotype in some areas), etc.

 

The best way I have found to deal with it is to isolate myself from such comments. I suppose I have a bit of unusual psychology, i.e. I distance myself a lot more easily than a lot (most?) people, so with time I just learned to shrug my shoulders and say "whatever" in my head, without it really getting me, and without getting into any type of pointless discussions with people who say so.

 

Human beings love such petty divisions, group thinking, being deeply proud of things they had absolutely no control of (from inherited money to being born of a certain race) instead of priding in their own achievements and generally, all attempts to change that have failed. Nothing new under the sun. People are still divisive, say hurtful things, "box" you and generalize. "Grow a thick skin" is probably the best life advice here. Be a counter-example and a walking proof that such reductive reasoning is flawed by giving your kids an amazing education. :)

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I'm not a person of color, either, but I was in an inter-racial relationship for three years, and I'm currently in an inter-religious marriage, so I've heard just about all the nasty comments people can make when they are ignoramuses. Sorry that you overheard some close minded jerks at that convention. Just wanted to add, that I was probably at that same convention, and I actually purchased the whole set of those "crap music" CDs and my kids love them. They dance around the living room like crazy fools, and they've cemented the math facts in their heads. There is also a solar system CD and state capitols CD. They may not be the best music in the world, but they are catchy and fun!

[TammyinTN]

Shame on them! :confused: That kind of talk makes my blood absolutely boil. To me your just another mother trying to give your children a great education. People who say things like that need a good whack upside their head.

[Emerkaza]

I had one lady at a convention smile in my face, talk to my children, tell them how beautiful they were, turn around to leave only to come back because my little one forgot her bag to hear her saying to another person " Well now we know the home school community is going to fail now we have black people thinking they can do it too" to wich the onther person replies " I know did you see that there is a black vendor selling some crap music math songs a few aisles over"

 

I am not a person of color; in fact, I am pasty white.:001_smile: I just wanted to say that I am appalled and disgusted by those comments. There is no place for racism in this world. I am so sorry that you were treated that way.

 

My dh was in the military for 20+ years and one of the things I loved about it was the racial and ethnic diversity. We lived on several different military installations and my children had friends that were all the colors of the rainbow.

 

I hope you are able to feel like you belong in your homeschool community. :grouphug:

[chiguirre]

I really had to look around before I found a group that was truly diverse and open-minded. It's worth the work. WORK at it. It was important to me that my son see different colored families homeschooling with success. It was worth the time, effort, and energy that it took.

 

:iagree:

 

I think it's a bit different for our family because we do blend in our larger community where hispanics are a very big group. The first time I got a real sense of "otherness" was in the local Christian hs group. It was a bummer and I was really worried about my kids finding hsed friends until I stumbled on a playgroup that formed in our not very active, not quite as local, secular group. I drive further for park days, but it's been so nice to find a group where we do fit in. We've also branched out into more community-based activities as the kids have gotten older, so they've met lots and lots and lots of kids from immigrant, Spanish-speaking families.

 

I've never had anyone question our decision to hs once they find out that ds2 has high functioning autism. That seems to be a free pass to do what you think is best for your kid.

[lmkzbcb]

@ OP - I think I would have got up in her face, if I had heard that at the convention. It's the 2-faced crap that bugs me the most. Not only is racism bad, but then dealing with lying too!! "Get over yourself, people"!!

 

My kids are taught that we are all one people on this planet. Different cultures - yes. One people - yes. Just as some have green eyes and others black, some have darker skin and others lighter. Not sure where you stand on Christianity, but for us: In the beginning God made 1 man and 1 woman, and therefore all people are from one race - the human race. Race and culture are 2 completely different things, not synonymous. It's the culture that you are a part of that is important enough to pass down to your kids. If you want a blended culture, fine. You as the parent decide what is important in the culture to pass down, and what needs to be left out. Not the rest of the population.

 

JFYI - I don't disclose the shade of my skin, it is irrelevant. You asked for advice, I gave it.

Edited May 10, 2011 by lmkzbcb

[Carrie12345]

I've only read the first page so far.

 

I'm a white mom who was completely baffled when searching for irl support groups and found "NEPA Black Homeschoolers". My first thought was "OMG, do I need to look for NEPA White Homeschoolers now?" After reading your post, it makes me wonder if your experience is more common than I'd ever considered.

 

The group we associate with only has 1 black family. A small handful of others have poked their heads in and never come back, but we've had the same thing happen with plenty of non-black families, too, so who knows?

 

I don't get it. Our public schools are pretty diverse. I'd expect our homeschool population to mirror that.

[Kimber]

I've thought about this problem for a long time, and while I, of course, haven't completely identified the heart of the problem, I think the reason black kids don't do well is also a result of the low expectations of the parents as well. I base this on conversations with my friend who is a school teacher and her experiences. Sometimes honor students who are black don't push to be in AP classes because they think that's something for a special group of students and they aren't privy to participate.

 

It's not just the teachers that causing the problems.

 

Racism and it's impact are extensive.

 

(Anyway, I'm off for doctor's appointments.)

[Dobela]

We are a black family and yes we often feel "in between". We have had black families say that my girls are "trying to act white", but we have also received lots of encouraging comments from the AA community. I even had a lady say to me that more AA families should homeschool, because we are the only race of people that send their children to be educated by people that have an interest in keeping them uneducated. On the other hand, we have had been hurt by comments made by some white homeschoolers. A little boy at co-op really wanted my daughter to meet his mother. He and my dd12 had become "friends" in class and he wanted his mom to meet her so that she could come over. When we walked up to the mom to introduce ourselves she smiled and said that they would have to invite dd over sometime, but as she walked away we heard her say to her son "Why didn't you tell me she was black. You should have told me that." WOW!

 

So yes, we often feel like we are in between two worlds.

I am a white mother to 2 children that are black. We say our family was made by God thru adoption. I can so relate to the feeling of being caught 'in between'. Friends that are black do not like that we homeschool. They are constantly telling me that I am turning my back on what 'their people' fought so hard for - equal opportunities for education. We have joined several homeschool groups locally and there is one other black child in one group. For one year there was one AA family in one group but they tired of living in our state and moved away. White families don't seem comfortable with us. I can't tell you how many times my son has been the ONLY child not invited to an event hosted by one of the co-op families. It just blows my mind.

 

I believe that statement refers to the fact that black children don't typically perform as well as other non-black students in public schools. Some believe it's because the performance expectations that some teachers have for black students are so low.

__________________

 

As a former public school teacher I can say that yes, unfortunately, there are teachers that expect less of black students. It is actually one of the original reasons we began homeschooling. A teacher I grew up with, and considered to be a friend, told me that she did not want my son in her kindergarten class. She didn't like teaching 'those kids'. She was afraid that I would request her on my short list of preferred teachers and didn't want any bad feelings to come between us. (Um, like telling me that you don't want to teach my child due to skin color isn't going to cause bad feelings???) Knowing that my son was going to be the youngest in the class, most likely the biggest child in the class, and that he was a minority would place him at a serious disadvantage in kindergarten in any of our local schools. I agreed with my dh to keep him home for one year but that has now turned into many years.

[Dobela]

Racism and it's impact are extensive.

 

(Anyway, I'm off for doctor's appointments.)

AMEN. It is complex without any simple answers.

[learning2gether]

I want to add to my previous post that even though we have been in some uncomfortable situations, our family is love and supported by people of all races.

 

As far as the comment about folks having an interest in aa children not having an education, there are many layers to that. Some real, some not so real - Teachers that don't expect much of aa children, career "poverty p!mps" that earn a living because there is an "achievement gap", even the white washed history that is taught in many schools.

 

My nephew received an A on a paper in his 11th grade English class. His father read the paper (it was horrible) and scheduled a parent/teacher conference. The teacher told my brother that my nephew was such a sweet boy, very respectful, a gentlemen to her and the female students and never wore his pants sagging like most of her other male students. She gave him a higher grade than he deserved to "encourage him." Really, he got an A because you don't see his underwear. Nice lady I guess, but that kind of treatment doesn't help.

[Parrothead]

STF: I'm very sorry you had to overhear the ignorance of others. All of the progress with regards to race in America really seems to be camouflaged more than any actual diversity going on.

 

Idiots abound and there is so very little that can be done about them.

 

I think that comment is more applicable to the politicians and bureaucrats that are a bit higher up the feeding chain than teachers. (School boards...yep...funding that never seems to make it to the teachers and kids)

 

Unfortunately, there *are* those who profit, career-wise, from situations of poverty. If those conditions are removed, well then, they have to find something else to do, don't they?

 

Well, that's my opinion anyway.

:iagree:IMHO there is a whole political machine dedicated to keeping those in minorities low on society's totem pole. Unfortunately not too many people see through the BS.

[Senorita Tuna Fish]

I have no advice as I am not African American, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that anyone would treat you like that.:001_huh: That is just unfathomable to me. I have always struggled with prejudice it just doesn't make sense to me. :grouphug:

 

Thanks for the support! I never expected that kind of thing either! I'm kinda an optimistic, blue skies, puffy white clouds and, sunshine type of girl. So, when this kind of thing happens it's like deflating a balloon. I get over it and rather quickly but the initial shock is still a little jarring!

[Senorita Tuna Fish]

to respond to all the post individually but....I didn't notice how much this has grown in my absence! I do not in any way mind that there are people who posted that are white! You support and words of comfort are much appreciated! I really enjoy the advice you all give! Not that I don't have think skin, but what I value above all is honesty! If you don't like me that's OK! Not everyone will, but please don't smile in my face and talk nasty behind my back! I know that someone suggested that I get up in her face but I fight hard against the "angry Black woman" stereotype, and I never want my kids to know and see better than that!

 

We are in Pittsburgh, PA but the conference was in Ohio and it was a year ago!! So it's a bit too late to complain now! Not that PA has less racism. Pittsburgh's home school scene seems to have less diversity! We haven't looked at a lot of groups, and I know there are some but we are just trying to figure out how to do this thing and it seemed like a good idea to start light with the group activity for the first two years.

 

This kind of balancing act of two worlds I'm not too unfamiliar with, growing up as the only black kid in the class in early elementary school, so I have experienced racism but, I just never expected it in the home school community! Like I said I guess I was just naive! It;s the home school community that I'm finding such division in, I just thought that a group that was not main stream would have an easier time accepting differences!

The other difference between now and then is that I was a child not the mother of children. So it's a tottally different dynamic.

 

I was thinking of starting a group of my own...boy oh boy do I wish some of you lived in my state. I don't want a group that caters to one type of person either, but......that's a totally different thread!

[cin]

I was thinking of starting a group of my own...boy oh boy do I wish some of you lived in my state. I don't want a group that caters to one type of person either, but......that's a totally different thread!

 

 

I'd join your group in a heartbeat. But if you were in our area, you'd probably join our co-op. We have 2 white families that have a total of 7 adopted AA kids. There's a couple of other AA kids running around, but I'm not sure to whom they belong. :001_huh: My 2 girls are Asian, and there's a couple of more Asian kids attending. Most of the parents are Pasty white, but I appreciate the diversity of children, and wish there were more diversity in the parents.