When naming babies, are nicknames inevitable?

[ChristusG]

I'm not due until October, so I have plenty of time to think about baby names, but I was wondering something.

 

I like a particular name....this name would be easy for people to shorten and use the first part as a nickname. But I don't like the nickname. Is it inevitable that people would call them by this nickname at some point?

 

My other daughters have names that you cannot really make a good nickname out of, so I haven't had to deal with that with them.

 

What about your kids? Do people try to make nicknames out of easy names? For example, Michael is easily shortened to Mike. Jonathan is easily shortened to John. Katelyn is easily shortened to Kate. It's a name that would be really simple to shorten.

 

Can this be avoided if you just continue to call them by their full first name?

[Liz CA]

Well, how much would it bother you if they call him "Mike" for instance instead of Michael when he is 12 or 13? Other kids may do it, your own child may agree.

 

If it's family you are concerned with, you can consistently call his child by his/her full name and hopefully they get the message.

[snickelfritz]

I think it can be avoided, early on, by using their full name. I have friends that were very successful at politely directing adults towards the version they wanted. They labeled everything that way, wrote it on tags, or politely re-stated the correct version.

 

Once they are around kids more (church, teams, etc...), it's out of your hands. I think it will depend on their peers and how much the child wants to insist on no nickname.

 

If you really, really dislike the shortened name.... I wouldn't use it.

[meena]

I think it can be avoided. My sister's name can be shortened to a common nickname, but my parents always called her by her full name. As she got older, she insisted on her full name being used. If anyone attempted to use the nickname they would get the evil eye and/or no response from her.

[Night Elf]

You may have people, like family, who won't listen to you. But you have every right to insist on the child's proper name. I did that for my children. My dd13, Allison, requested the nickname Allie a few years ago. My ds14, Jeffrey, has no problem telling people his name is not Jeff. The first time I heard him say that was when he was 4 years old. :D

[Lacie]

When someone calls the child by a nickname, you can always politely correct them. Our oldest goes by a nickname all the time, but one of our choosing, not the standard shortening of his first name.

 

Would you be okay with the child choosing to use the nickname when they are old enough to decide? Like them introducing themselves to new friends as the nickname and not full name.

[tearose]

Like the previous posters, I agree that it is out of your hands at some point. But early on, you can politely make it clear to friends and family that you prefer the full name. I have a John, and DH and I were adamant that he not be called Johnny, John-John, etc. If people called him "Johnny," we just said, "Actually, we prefer "John."" I have yet to have someone give me a hard time about it.

[Tap]

DD12 has a long feminine first name. It is a name similar in style/length to Alexandria. There are a multitude of nicknames that could be used.

 

When I named dd, people asked me 'what are you going to call her'? I said "Alexandria". People always assumed, we would use the nick names. I just told everyone very nicely, from the beginning that her name is "Alexandria" and not "Alex" or "Andi" or "Ria"... and that if I wanted my dd to be named Alex, Andi or Ria, that I would have simply given her that name.

 

Our families, have never shortened her name.

 

Once dd12 was old enough to decide for herself, she started allowing some friends to call her by a nick name, but it was mainly prompted by some people's inability to pronounce her name correctly (not a hard name, just not common).

 

When she started private school this year she decided to go by her middle name. That is fine with me, we specifically chose it to be an alternate first name in case she didn't like the longer name.

 

So, dd now goes by about 4-5 different names around the area. LOL But at home, and in the family....she will always be called by her full, legal, first name.

[FaithManor]

All three of our boys have names that American culture normally always shortens. We've consistently used their full first names as we don't like the nicknames, and we will politely correct others. I actually do not think the penchant of others to suddenly assume the familiarity of calling someone by a nickname is appropriate. By the time each one was two or three years old, the problem was conquered.

 

My first name (not Faith, which is what I would name myself) is one that is nearly always shortened. As a matter of fact, I'm the only person I've ever heard of with the name that actually went by the whole, traditional thing. I HATE the nickname, so I decided many, many years ago that I would not respond to the nickname no matter who called me. I did inform my family ahead of time not to refer to me that way. At first, some people were irritated that I refused to "come when called". But, I just explained my position and over time, everyone made the adjustment. The whole thing could have been avoided if my parents had started out refusing to allow people to nickname me.

 

I think if you are consistent up front, it will be okay.

 

Faith

[athena1277]

I went by the shortened form of my name til around K. I came to really hate it and got my mom to ask my teacher to call my by my "regular" name. I never, ever use the nickname, although occasionally an aunt will use it out of the old habit.

 

My dh goes by the shortened form of his name, never the long version, unless its on official stuff (like drivers license). Ds is a junior and we call him by the long version of the name to keep things from being less confusing. If anyone calls hims by the nickname, he tells them that it is "daddy's name". :D

 

Long story short, you can have a child that only goes by the "long version" of their name.

[lllll]

...

[ChristusG]

The name itself is not a long name anyways....only 5 letters and 2 syllables. So maybe since it is short, people will not have the urge to shorten it further?

 

I'm not sure how I would feel about the child actually choosing the nickname in the future. I really love the name and honestly, the nickname makes me think of a dog LOL.

[Mommy22alyns]

When I was pregnant with Rebecca, we had endless people just say, "Oh, so you can call her Becky!" Uh, NO. :glare: Her name is Rebecca or Becca. She'll answer to either, but I think she prefers Becca (either that, or she writes it on her papers because it's shorter). But she's never once been called Becky. It can happen.

[KidsHappen]

You can control it to a certain extent while your child is still young but once they reach an age where they decide for themselves what they prefer to be called well then I think you have to honor that desire. Me and all of my siblings have formal names. We all call each other by these names as that is what we grew up with. The rest of the world calls us by the shortened nicknames and that it pretty much the names we use. My hubby has a formal name but prefers the shortened version. All of my children have formal names, some of which have no logical nickname, and yet they all have specific nicknames which they seem to be happy with. Now, I have a grandbaby and he has his own names for everyone which we all answer to as well. I am mum but grandpa is ta-da? I am not going to correct him. That is simply too cute and original. Who wouldn't want to be Ta-Da! :)

[kokotg]

Once they are around kids more (church, teams, etc...), it's out of your hands. I think it will depend on their peers and how much the child wants to insist on no nickname.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

DH is a David. He was David all the time, to everyone, until he was in high school. Now he's Dave to everyone except his immediate family (and, oddly, my grandmother, to whom he was introduced as Dave. I guess she doesn't like that name). DH honestly doesn't have a preference, though, so that's really what it comes down to. I think maybe when you're a child of the 70s named David, it's just kind of hard to get too attached to your name, since every other guy you meet has the same one. It's funny; I like David better, but I can never get used to calling him that, so I don't.

[momofkhm]

Can this be avoided if you just continue to call them by their full first name?

 

My first child has a name that can be shortened. From the moment she was born, we called her the shortened form. She is introduced that way. Everyone calls her that.

 

My middle child does not have a name that can be shortened. One time my MIL tried to change the ending from -ah to -y. I just looked at her and said "ah, no" and that was that. No one else has ever tried.

 

My last child also has a name that can be shortened. I've never shortened it. I introduce him as his full name. Most people call him his full name. Now at 10, when people shorten it, he tells them, "my name is (full name)". Since he's been doing that especially, no one calls him the shortened form for long. :)

 

So yes, it is possible.

[RahRah]

With my family, full name was always used, so we haven't had any issues of trying to shorten with nicknames -- most in my family don't just use your first name, but also your full first (or middle) name too, especially if two share the same first name....like Mary Margaret when speaking of cousin one and Mary Catherine when speaking of another with same first name.

 

With friends, we usually let them know we use full names if they don't "get it" despite our use of the full name all the time when speaking about or to our children. Then again, DS (6) doesn't have a name that's easily shortened, nor does the baby (2 months) - but that doesn't stop some from trying now and then!

 

As the boys get older, if they want friends/family to use a nickname, that's up to them!

[KrissiK]

I don't think it's necessarily a given that kids' names will be shortened, and I also think as the kid gets older it will be up to him/her what he is called. I have a Jonathan and a Daniel and no one shortens their names. Annabeth isn't shortened, either, though my parents do try to call her "Annie", which I hate, but it's never really stuck. My name is Kristen, I went through a "Kris" phase in high school, but now I prefer Kristen. Just stick to your guns!

[Carrie12345]

With certain people, I think it's unavoidable, depending on the name. You can train the majority of friends and relatives to use it "correctly" (I have a cousin named Joseph, and he's ONLY Joseph to us), but there will be a few people who won't listen to you.

 

In our house, we have several non-nicknamable names (Carrie, Jared, Morgan, Haleigh, Connor), but they do get shortened to Car, Jar, Morg, Hale, and Con in a "Hey, Morg! Whacha doing?" kind of way. I don't consider them actual nicknames though.

[HayesW]

I have a WIlliam, a Samuel, an Isaac, and a Joseph. All use those names. Samuel is occassionally "Sam" to his brothers. It hasn't been a problem.

[Aubrey]

I know 2 Michaels--they are called "Michael."

 

We thought about naming a baby Aletha, but when dh got all excited about the nickname "Allie," I decided I didn't like the name so much after all. LOL

 

But I bet it's hard to know for sure.

[HLDoll]

I hate nicknames and shortening of names enough that I refused to even consider names that could be shortened for our children. My aunt named my cousin Nicholas and was adamant that he never be called anything but that. And he wasn't. Until he turned 12/13 and now he refuses to answer to anything but Nick. I think if you feel that strongly about a nickname, you're better off avoiding it. My four kids have names that I've never heard anyone try to shorten. Although my FIL has made ridiculous attempts because he loves shortened names. He goes by Ken, calls his wife Betsy and his boys Mike and Dave. Aaagh! No one on my side of the family shortens names and I like it that way. :D

[Impish]

My mom had complete meltdowns when ppl shortened my name when I was a teen.

 

When naming my kids, nicknames were absolutely something we looked at. In fact, Diva and Tazzie are 98% of the time called by the shortened version...unless they're in trouble.

 

Heaven help the child that gets their entire name. :lol:

[Peela]

Our daughter's name is Genevieve. We called her Genevieve right up until she was about 10 or 11 I think, maybe even later. (well apart from nicknames like Genna-bubble and Gentle-vieve which we gave her as a baby and still call her sometimes) Then we succumbed- all her peers have always called her Gen (with a soft G/J sound as in Jen). Eventually, we just did too- I can't even remember how it happened- we just surrendered to the inevitable I think.

 

But in Australia nicknames are very common and its almost certain people will give you some sort of nickname, especially as a kid, or in the workplace. YOu can insist on using your full name- but Gen never bothered. She has other names like Generator, too.

[Pippen]

As she got older, she insisted on her full name being used. If anyone attempted to use the nickname they would get the evil eye and/or no response from her.

 

After encountering this many times as a teacher, I decided not to put my kids in this position and chose names accordingly.

[v-girl]

I named each of my kids with nicknames in mind. None of them go by their given names. Those are reserved for when they are in big trouble. Our oldest has a hispanic first name (named for my Abuela). When my very American DH uses her full name I usually end up with a bad case of the giggles.:lol:

[Hunter's Moon]

It depends also on where you live and if the child will want to be called by their nickname instead of their full.

 

When I meet someone for the first time who I'll be seeing a lot of (teacher, peer, co-volunteer) and I or someone I am with introduces me as Stephanie, the first words I usually hear are "Hi Steph, nice to meet you! Do you mind being called Steph?".

 

I prefer the name Stephanie, just because Steph seems so personal and only my friends really call me that. Even my parents use Stephanie when speaking about me. When I'm called by them it is either "Steph" or "Steph-cha".

 

So, I would say if the nickname bothers you that much, because even if you lay down the rules and say we prefer the full name, the child may like the nickname better or someone may not get it through their head. (My friends name is Isis and we had this one teacher who preferred the name Iris. It was easier for her to pronounce. So, she was called Iris the whole time, no matter how many times Isis corrected her. And that isn't even her nickname, her nickname is Is (eese) or Ice.)

[silliness7]

It is absolutely possible. Stick to your guns and teach your kiddo to stick to his/her guns too. My sister would role play with her ds. "My name is Samuel not Sam" before he went off to school. So far, so good. He's almost through his first year and is still Samuel.

 

I have 2 that could easily be shortened. I am not adamant about it, especially as they are getting older, but still no nicknames yet.

[Violet Crown]

We gave dd3 a dignified, classic name with an adorable nickname. She turned out to have speech issues, and when she could talk at all, began calling herself "Bibi" (which bears only a glancing resemblance to her actual name). Her older sisters immediately picked it up, and now it's her only name. Fortunately it's a not uncommon nickname where we live; but now everyone thinks her full name is Bibiana.

 

Sometimes, plan as you will, these things are just out of your hands.

[Pretty in Pink]

Three of my children have nicknames that are in no way affiliated with their given names. If you give a child a name that is easily shortened or for which common nicknames exist, then I'd say there is a fair chance that someone, at some point, is going to use it. My name is Elizabeth; during my life I have been called by several nicknames - Liz, Beth, Eliza. Now, mind you, I am 30 years old, and a few months ago someone called me Betty...??? It was certainly the first time I had ever heard that one! LOL

[TXSusan]

Keep in mind that your child may choose to go by the nickname, and maybe at a young age. We have 3 sons with names that can be shortened, but we called them by their given names from birth.

 

The youngest and oldest still go by their given names, but at age 5 Daniel decided that he was Dan. And that was it. I still think it's because he didn't want to write Daniel. When he needs to write his given name he forgets how it's spelled. All of the mail he recives due to the PSAT says 'Danil'.

 

On the other hand, my parents always called me Sue. In Junior High I decided that I was Susan, not Sue. It took a long time, but by the time I went to college almost everyone called me Susan. Even today people try to call me Sue, and I 'gently' correct them. Or not so gently if they keep it up.

 

So if you don't want your child to have a nickname, give her a name that isn't easily shortened.

 

Susan (never Sue)

[Sasharowan]

My youngest has a name that is easily shortened. We call him by the long version of his name. Since about age three, he would tell people "My name is *******, I'm not ***." Most people call him by the long version now, except siblings trying to aggravate.

[stripe]

What about your kids? Do people try to make nicknames out of easy names?

No, except for one family member. My kids' names do not have obvious nicknames.

[momofgmd]

There were six of us in my family, and most of our names could be shortened (all except mine). My mother insisted that each of us be referred to by our whole name, no nicknames. It worked all the way until my siblings were adults and on their own. Then it was up to them about how picky they wanted to be about their names. Most of them do go by shortened names now, but it was their choice when they got to be adults. My mom, and most of the family, still calls everyone by their full name.

[happypamama]

One of my sons is Andrew; I like Andy okay as a nickname and would be okay with it, if that's what he chose, but I've always called him Andrew, and generally so do most people. I found that if I always said Andrew, people didn't shorten it to Andy. When asked what he prefers, he says Andrew. DH occasionally refers to him as Andy, but since that's not the boy's own preference, he has largely stopped doing that.

 

Otoh, my other son is Benjamin, and he's normally just Ben. I guess because Benjamin is much longer, and Ben is just a shorter form, whereas Andy is not really much shorter than Andrew and is a slightly different form anyway. If I really wanted people to call him Benjamin all the time, I think that would be doable, but *I* don't even do that. :) (Also, Andrew fits DS1's personality, and DS2 really is a Ben -- Benjamin is such a serious name for him.)

 

On our list for this baby are Zachary and Daniel; I like both Zach and Dan/Danny okay but will probably start off with Zachary and Daniel and see if there is a natural morph to the nickname. Katherine and Abigail are my top girl choices, and while I like Kate/Katie just fine, I really love Katherine and will probably start with that and hope it doesn't get shortened. (Otoh, I think Abby is adorable, so Abigail might very well get shortened immediately.)

 

So, no, I don't think nicknames are inevitable, but I think people will take their cues from you. Grandparents always call Andrew Andrew, but they generally call Benjamin Ben, because that's what we do.

[elise1mds]

I agree with the consensus that nicknames are what you allow them to be. I have one child who goes by a nickname and one that does not.

 

I was straightforward when my son was born and announced to everyone in the family that his name was his name, period, end of statement. I've had to go a few rounds with DH's stepfather on this one, but in the end, DS stood up for himself and announced that HE preferred his full name, not some other version. End of story. I have told him that if he gets older and prefers a nickname, I will call him whatever he likes... short of an obscenity, of course ;)

 

When my nicknamed child was on the way and I chose a name, my MIL assumed I wanted her name to be the full enchilada as well and was surprised when I said no, I preferred a specific nickname. There are times I will still call her by her full first name, but for the most part she gets her nickname hollered out across the house when I want her.

 

All in all, it's all worked perfectly, and both children love their names. The biggest problem I have is that my husband's family is Aussie, and they nickname EVERYONE. My name is Sarah, and the next time I get called "Sar" (long a) will not be the first time. One of my BILs particularly enjoys calling me "Sar-Bear." Meh. If that's the worst nickname I have, I figure I'm in good shape :lol:

[Remudamom]

My thought is that there are bigger battles to pick. Even if names aren't shortened there are nicknames around here. We have a ThuggerBugger, a Pooter, a Bub, Bobber, Mater, Nanner, Shorty. Friends have allowed us to call their babies Boodles and Beaner.

 

As long as they are healthy and happy who cares about nicknames?

[nukeswife]

I think if you really despise the nickname you should probably stay away from the full name altogether. If you just mildly dislike it then you may just have to be persistent in correctly people.

 

My dd is named Annika (AH-nih-kuh) and will go by Anna (AH-nuh) but gets a lot of uh-KNEE-kuh from people that don't know her. I never thought of that as a possibility when we named her and we all hate it. We also hate that some try to call her Annie, but are just very persistent about correcting people. Around us we mostly call her Bean or Beaner because it was a nickname dh gave her when he didn't want to know the sex before she was born. She looked like a little bean on the ultrasound.

 

My youngest is Lucas, and although many have tried to call him Luke, since he was 2 he's been quick to tell them "I'm a Lucas, not a Luke" He will answer to Luka though, but I mostly call him Bubbie or Bubba. He's my little hillbilly and loves when his mama calls him Bubba, but nobody else is allowed to call him that.

 

My oldest is Everett and we all call him Ev (short e sound) and he loves it. I gave him that name fully intending to shorten it to Ev, but most people think that's just weird and call him Everett.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

I took nicknames into consideration when picking DD's name. I just didn't want to have to fight it for her whole life.

 

So I went with Jenna. My thinking was short name already, no problem right? I have an uncle who INSISTS on calling her Jen or Jenny. :glare: My best friend is Jen, and I really don't like Jenny, so I correct him every time. She's 5, and he is finally getting it. (And this is an uncle we see fairly often, lived right around the corner from for 3 years and now see every other weekend or so.)

 

If you really, truly despise a nickname, I'd seriously consider before using the name. Unless it is a name you really, REALLY love, do you really want to have to constantly say "No, it's....."

[VA6336]

Yes, you can name a child something that has a common nickname and still call them by their full name. My husband's is commonly shortened, but he can't stand it. Most adults will call another adult by the name introduced to them. Most of the time it's not a problem (except for the obnoxious few who know it annoys him so they do it on purpose). Our eldest goes by a nickname to everyone, the second's name can't really be shortened. The third, however, has about a million nicknames even though we've always called him by his full name. During my csection, the techs and the doctor entertained themselves (it wasn't an emergency or anything :D) by coming up with as many versions of the to-be-delivered child's name as they could. He is now introduced as his full name (he's only 3) and that's what he calls himself. Many people still shorten it without thinking, but I've decided not to let it bother me. The little man can take it up with them if he wants to. :001_smile:

 

All that to say, just call him what you want and introduce him that way. If someone you'll be seeing all the time continually calls him by a nickname you don't like, a polite reminder that "he goes by 'RockStar' and not 'Rocky' for now and he can decide about it when he gets older" should do the trick!

[Heather in Neverland]

Is it inevitable that people would call them by this nickname at some point?

 

 

 

Pretty much. I have one vivid memory of a girl I went to school with. Her name was Cassandra. Everyone (students, teachers, etc) called her Cassie. And she corrected you every single time. But they still called her Cassie and even in my mind she is Cassie.

 

As a teacher I would often call kids by shortened versions of their names (Michael/Mike) not out of rudeness but more of efficiency and really just without thinking. If they were adamant about it I would make an effort to call them David and not Dave. Hey, I had to remember 200 names a day. I did the best I could. :)

 

When we had our first child we made a rule for ourselves that whatever name we picked, we must be ok with the short version as well or we don't pick it. For instance, i wanted to name our son Christian but I am not a big fan of Chris and I KNOW people will call him Chris and he (and I) would either put up with it or spend our lives correcting people which is just no fun at all.

 

That's also the reason I don't "do" alternate spellings. Both my maiden name and married name have a letter most people miss and I have had to correct the spelling for nearly 40 years. It gets old.

[Annie G]

All four of my kids have names people would traditionally try to shorten (see signature). All four go by their full name, though our 18 year old just this year has had a few friends start to call her Kitty and she's ok with that.

 

I think you can set the tone- and it doesn't have to be overbearing, just firm...call my child by his/her given name, please.

 

Care to share the name you're considering? I'm curious!

[MariannNOVA]

I haven't read the other answers --

 

here's mine:

 

My oldest is 'Madison.' When my husband told his parents her name, fil immediately said: 'We will call her Maddie.' DH replied (kindly): 'No, her name is Madison. We are not going to call her Maddie.' That was the end of that and it was never mentioned again. Sometimes someone will ask her if it is okay to call her Maddie, and she will reply (nicely) that she goes by Madison.

 

Our ds is Michael. It has always been Michael -- never Mike, Mikey, Mickey, and whatever else it can morph into -- Michael. Same story as dd above.

 

My grand-daughters are Allison and Emily. I call them Allison and Emily. Everyone else in the world calls them Allie and Emmie. They go by Allie and Emmie -- but they know that I will always call them Allison and Emily. And, there is a story behind it, but I won't go into it here.:)

 

So, I think that if your nickname expectations are made clear from the start, you can avoid a nickname being used it you like.