Spin off on Teen Drivers: 3 accidents/ 5 weeks :)

[74Heaven]

My 16yo driver is inattentive. Here's what happened to our cars since Sept. 27th (that magic day she got her license):

 

Week 1: Took family van to gas station, when leaving, she sideswiped side of van (driver and sliding passenger door) against that pole that sits at the end of the pump lane to keep drivers from getting too close to the pump. It appears she then jerked the steering wheel the wrong way trying to correct, making it worse...$1500 worth of damage approximately to 2 doors. Rear slider no longer works. We don't think we will report to insurance because of the effect to her insurance rates.

 

Two days later: Tore off van passenger side mirror on 40 mph county road with no shoulder by hitting mailbox on side of road. Called me w/in 15min and stopped and apologized to homeowner (very understanding). $75 for new mirror. Hm owner said not to worry about mailbox. Dad and I told her dozens of times to stay off the edge of the road. I was nor surprised it happened.)

 

Four weeks later: Exits neighbor's house in stick shift while practicing (20year old "junker" car), accelerates too much between letting off clutch/accelerating, hits tree 6feet back from edge of road (misses mailbox lol) (we think while looking down at stick shift); Dents front right fender and smashes right blinker light cover and bulb. (Cost: Free because relative has same car available for free parts.)

 

Daughter instantly told us about all accidents, apologized and offered to pay. (She has no job, no income except $10-20 a week or so babysitting.)

 

Bottom line: Tons of extra driving for me because she can't really be trusted to be safe. We have increased driving practice with her, trying to go out once a week or so. Limited driving til we see improvement. We made her make calls to shops on mirror replacement and junker car fender/blinker and prob. will make her pay for van mirror thru sporadic babysitting jobs. I want her to go with me to body shop to get bids on body/door repair. We have not put specific driving restrictions on her but we have forbid the family van driving and limited her driving to under 10-20 miles a week and *not* in the city. (We live rurally and she can drive to church and babysitting jobs that are just 5-6 miles away. She can drive to meet her carpool every day (only 1 mile away) and never see another car.) This is not punishment, just a recognition that she is having troubles and we don't feel it is safe for her or others on the road.

 

We can not afford to fix van doors currently (partially due to same daughter's high school tuition & sister's college). So every time someone asks (2-3x a week), we are usually silent and this prompts daughter to share what happened.

 

The bad thing is the huge inconvenience it is to have our van smashed on one side and the door inoperable. Also, we are giving her extra driving instruction and we are still pretty concerned when she does drive.

 

The good thing is that this was our know-it-all, can't-tell-her-anything teen driver and now she is humbled! The good thing is we didn't lose our tempers. Not any of the times. Now, daughter listens more to our instruction and understands just how quick an accident can happen.

 

The great thing was that the daughter was honest - she saw our reactions were muted and reasonable and saw our forgiveness.

 

None of this changes the fact that I still think her driving needs great improvement and other than hours (and hours and hours) behind the wheel, I don't know how to make that happen. It means she can't have the freedom we were all hoping her license would give her. It means she can't take the family van because we really need it to be in good working order.

 

The real clincher in this situation is that the root problem is money. We can't afford these kind of expenses and daughter can't afford to really do any restitution. We can't afford to fix the van so we have to live with it.

 

Btw, I told my daughter how proud we were of the truth-telling. I told her she "may have failed the driving test; but she passed the character test."

 

lisaj, only my 2nd teen driver

[Plucky]

Aww, you are sweet parents. I would probably not let her drive alone for a while, mainly because I'd be afraid for her safety. I do think she needs much, much more practice and I have a 16 year old driver.

[3littlekeets]

Aww, you are sweet parents. I would probably not let her drive alone for a while, mainly because I'd be afraid for her safety. I do think she needs much, much more practice and I have a 16 year old driver.

 

 

:iagree: After her first accident, I probably would have required another 20 hours of guided driving for her safety and the others on the road. I'm sure she will truly appreciate your love :) and I'm glad you were able to work through this as a family!

[74Heaven]

:iagree: After her first accident, I probably would have required another 20 hours of guided driving for her safety and the others on the road. I'm sure she will truly appreciate your love :) and I'm glad you were able to work through this as a family!

 

In actuality, her first accident seemed like a rookie mistake to me. I wasn't that concerned. Everyone I have talked to has opened their door onto that pole by the gas pumps or pulled out too close to it.

 

It was the mailbox 2 days later that really brought the problem into focus!

 

Lisaj

[dancer67]

This was always by biggest fears, when my kids were old enough to drive. We decided that when our children were old enough, that they would not be allowed a drivers license until they were 18. Older if we felt they needed to be.

 

My son got his license at 19.

 

My daughter is now 18 and still does not have her license. She has her permit. I still do not think she is ready to have a drivers license yet. Maybe in the summer.

 

In the meantime, they got jobs close to home where they could walk, or I could easily drop them off. They had to save their money so they could have enough to buy a car, and pay for the insurance. We pay 1/2 the cost of the vehicle up to $1,000.

 

I am so sorry you child had these accidents. I would, for now, have her drive with you for a while until she gets more practice.

 

:grouphug:

[fairfarmhand]

i was 17 before I got my license....I know you were hoping for a measure of freedom, but if she has a serious accident, you will regret it.

 

I'd just matter of factly tell her that since she's having trouble, you will hold off on full privileges for awhile.

[jenn-]

Has she had a full vision screening recently? 2 out of the 3 accidents seem related to depth perception. And my little sister has totally done the door into the pole at the gas station thing.

[Kathleen in VA]

I read some place - I'm thinking it was our Dept. of Vehicles website - that parents should always feel they have the option to take the license away if they think their child is not ready. Driving is a privilege, not a right. Just turning 16 shouldn't mean you have the right to drive. My two oldest got their licenses when they were 19 and dd18 only has a learner's. I think most 16yo children are not truly neurologically equipped to be good drivers.

 

From this article:

 

Here are two very frightening statistics: The 16 - 19 year old group of licensed drivers are four times more likely to have an automobile crash than older drivers. Of that group, 16 year old drivers have rates that are two times as high as drivers between 18 - 19 years of age! These statistics tell the story and it seems that we are not hearing. These young people are not ready to be turned loose with a vehicle!

 

Here's a site with more facts:

 

http://ready2drive.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=110&Itemid=165

Edited December 9, 2010 by Kathleen in VA
typo

[Murphy101]

I say this kindly.

 

It's time to take the keys. Have her earn enough money or you guys save and have her take a quality driving course. AND a defensive driving course. And no driving solo until she passes them.

 

It's not a punishment and it doesn't mean you are mad.

 

It's just what needs to be done.

 

Because it could have been a toddler or someone else that she hit instead of a pole, mailbox, or tree. And next time it might be.

 

She just isn't ready to be behind the wheel.

[Catwoman]

I say this kindly.

 

It's time to take the keys. Have her earn enough money or you guys save and have her take a quality driving course. AND a defensive driving course. And no driving solo until she passes them.

 

It's not a punishment and it doesn't mean you are mad.

 

It's just what needs to be done.

 

Because it could have been a toddler or someone else that she hit instead of a pole, mailbox, or tree. And next time it might be.

 

She just isn't ready to be behind the wheel.

 

:iagree: with Martha.

 

At the very least, I wouldn't let her drive unless you or your dh can be in the car with her -- not as a punishment, but as a safety precaution (for both her own health and that of everyone else on the road.)

 

Cat

[Catwoman]

Has she had a full vision screening recently? 2 out of the 3 accidents seem related to depth perception.

 

Good idea -- that is something to seriously consider.

 

Cat

[ValRN]

why I'm not pushing for my 16 y/o VERY distracted ds to study to get his permit. I'm not in any rush to have something else to worry about.

:)

[Entropymama]

I say this kindly.

 

It's time to take the keys. Have her earn enough money or you guys save and have her take a quality driving course. AND a defensive driving course. And no driving solo until she passes them.

 

It's not a punishment and it doesn't mean you are mad.

 

It's just what needs to be done.

 

Because it could have been a toddler or someone else that she hit instead of a pole, mailbox, or tree. And next time it might be.

 

She just isn't ready to be behind the wheel.

:iagree:

 

And it really isn't about you being mean, or her being incompetent. It's ok not to drive at 16!

 

When I was in high school a very sweet 16 year old girl whom I ran cross country with got in her car for a quick run back to school to pick up her running shoes. She hit a tree on a country road and was killed instantly. Who cares about broken van doors? Your little girl's safety is priority. Go with your instinct; maybe a year of practice and an eye exam are a good idea.

[QueenCat]

I say this kindly.

 

It's time to take the keys. Have her earn enough money or you guys save and have her take a quality driving course. AND a defensive driving course. And no driving solo until she passes them.

 

It's not a punishment and it doesn't mean you are mad.

 

It's just what needs to be done.

 

Because it could have been a toddler or someone else that she hit instead of a pole, mailbox, or tree. And next time it might be.

 

She just isn't ready to be behind the wheel.

 

:iagree: A good driving course can really help, and they often learn those nuances better from someone who is not emotionally involved.

[Peela]

We have bought our 16yo her own car ($800)-...she doesn't get to drive ours. Nor can she drive alone till she is 17 and passes her test (that the law here).

Also, without an income I dont think we would allow our teens to drive because they have no way of paying for anything...licensing, accidents, even petrol.

My stepdd21 hasnt had a car for a couple of years now ...her dad bought her one but she didnt take care of it and ended up leaving it on the edge of the road (she wasnt living with us) because she couldnt even afford the tow fee (she was working- just not managing her money well). Now that she has work, and an income, and is a little more mature, she is buying herself a car.

Her boyfriend has feet injuries and killed someone a couple of years ago- his stepdad, who was drunk while instructing him to drive. (I only just found that out this week).

I think at 16 a car is an extreme privelege rather than a necessity, and she doesn't sound like she has earned that privelege, nor is she quite mature enough to drive. Thats not a punishment...its just she isnt ready yet.

[Melissa in Australia]

We have bought our 16yo her own car ($800)-...she doesn't get to drive ours. Nor can she drive alone till she is 17 and passes her test (that the law here).

.

It is 18 in Victoria. they can get their learners at 16, but have to have a full licenced driver sitting beside them until they are 18 they car has to have a bright yellow L plate showing the car is being driven by a learner.. they have to clock up 120 hours of supervised driving time as well. Then when they have their licence, they have to have a large red P to show they are a probationary driver, this has to be displayed for a further 2 years, and they have restrictions on their license, car power restrictions, number of passengers etc.

[phathui5]

Week 1: Took family van to gas station, when leaving, she sideswiped side of van (driver and sliding passenger door) against that pole that sits at the end of the pump lane to keep drivers from getting too close to the pump.

 

I've done that, though not with as much damage as you described.

[KidsHappen]

I have made almost the exact same mistakes although they were several years apart and I was a grown woman with at least 20 years of good, safe driving experience behind me.

 

 

The day we drove our brand new Chevy Astro off the lot I pulled through a McDonalds on the way home and hit the poll that is there to keep you from getting too close to the window. Understandable mistake, I went from driving a small station wagon to the largest mini-van available.

 

 

Several years later, we moved into a house that honestly had a driveway with approximate a 15% grade. It also had a curve halfway down. The first time I tried to back up I ran off the edge of the driveway and plowed over the mailbox.

 

 

Couple years after that, I pulled into a sonic. Apparently I was too close to the sign. My windows will fold in if you are drivine forward and something hits them but if you are backing they will the get caught on whatever they hit in the first place. They are still incredibly flexible in that they folded back without coming off but the mirror did break.

 

 

However, in spite of my understanding, I would still take her keys away for awhile and try to get in as much practice time as possible. We always went out in the country, abandoned shopping lot, etc., moving up to on street driving when traffic flow is low and her attention span is high.

[Liz CA]

Has she had a full vision screening recently? 2 out of the 3 accidents seem related to depth perception. And my little sister has totally done the door into the pole at the gas station thing.

 

I thought of vision screening too. If this is not the problem, drive with her more and more and then some more. I don't think there is another way to teach someone. I also told my ds why it is better to turn your head instead of relying on mirrors, why one needs to look at the front end as well as backwards when one backs out of a parking spot, etc, etc.

 

The good part is IMHO, she already passed her license test so there is no pressure.

Someone here suggested additional courses, good idea. Some Auto Clubs offer these for free, check with AAA or some others. Practice is everything. My ds and I drove on a permit for over 1 year before he got his license.

[asta]

I say this kindly.

 

It's time to take the keys. Have her earn enough money or you guys save and have her take a quality driving course. AND a defensive driving course. And no driving solo until she passes them.

 

It's not a punishment and it doesn't mean you are mad.

 

It's just what needs to be done.

 

Because it could have been a toddler or someone else that she hit instead of a pole, mailbox, or tree. And next time it might be.

 

She just isn't ready to be behind the wheel.

 

:iagree:

 

As DS says, a car is deadlier than a bullet.

 

He will be 17 this month and his permit is nowhere in sight. He knows he isn't ready.

 

 

a

[freerange]

I say this kindly.

 

It's time to take the keys. Have her earn enough money or you guys save and have her take a quality driving course. AND a defensive driving course. And no driving solo until she passes them.

 

It's not a punishment and it doesn't mean you are mad.

 

It's just what needs to be done.

 

Because it could have been a toddler or someone else that she hit instead of a pole, mailbox, or tree. And next time it might be.

 

She just isn't ready to be behind the wheel.

:iagree: Just last week, two 17yo girls hit a tree along the road from us. Both died before they could be cut out of their car.

 

If she's not ready, she's not ready.

[gingersmom]

Whose idea was it for her to get her license?

 

I smiled reading your post because I drove just like your daughter at that age. :001_smile:

 

I didn't want to get my license but my mother was tired of driving me around (we lived in the middle of nowhere).

 

I think maturity and a desire to drive play a huge role. I told my children that I don't care if they get their drivers license until they are 30. I will gladly drive them wherever they need to go.

[ktgrok]

Has she had a full vision screening recently? 2 out of the 3 accidents seem related to depth perception. And my little sister has totally done the door into the pole at the gas station thing.

 

I agree, this sounds supsiciously like either a vision problem (she could have 20/20 vision and still have depth perception issues) or maybe another sensory issue, where she has trouble knowing where her body is in space. Is she clumsy at all in other ways, or just driving?

[FriedClams]

I say this kindly.

 

It's time to take the keys. Have her earn enough money or you guys save and have her take a quality driving course. AND a defensive driving course. And no driving solo until she passes them.

 

It's not a punishment and it doesn't mean you are mad.

 

It's just what needs to be done.

 

Because it could have been a toddler or someone else that she hit instead of a pole, mailbox, or tree. And next time it might be.

 

She just isn't ready to be behind the wheel.

 

:iagree:

 

When my parents got to the point where they needed to stop driving (and they did, and now no longer drive) it was the other people around that might get hurt that worried me. Please, give her a couple of years to mature and they try again. A terrible accident where someone else got hurt would change her life forever.

[Margo out of lurking]

My 16yo driver is inattentive.

 

I say this gently. I don't think she's inattentive; she does not have enough experience behind the wheel to be driving independently, regardless of whether the state granted her a license.

 

These are some pretty clear warning signs, and I would be very thankful that no person had yet been injured. Or worse. You don't have money to fix the van door, but you would be liable for any damage she caused. It was wrong of her to not replace the mailbox, no matter what the homeowner said.

 

If this were my daughter, I'd also be very concerned about the number of near misses she likely had and never recognized.

 

You said it's "tons of extra driving" for you, but weren't you doing this before she got her license? Would you let her ride with another driver who had these accidents?

 

These are the drivers that scare me when I'm out driving. She's a potential danger to everyone out there.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I say this kindly.

 

It's time to take the keys. Have her earn enough money or you guys save and have her take a quality driving course. AND a defensive driving course. And no driving solo until she passes them.

 

It's not a punishment and it doesn't mean you are mad.

 

It's just what needs to be done.

 

Because it could have been a toddler or someone else that she hit instead of a pole, mailbox, or tree. And next time it might be.

 

She just isn't ready to be behind the wheel.

 

:iagree: She has shown she does not have the requisite skill to drive safely. She needs tons more practice. Also, if she is that inattentive, does she have attention issues elsewhere? Inattentive drivers are unsafe ... period. You owe it to the public to take her license away.

[mazakaal]

I haven't read all the other responses, but I'm kind of surprised that she passed her driving test. But it's been an awful long time since I took a test in the US. If you want her to improve her driving skills, send her over here for driving lessons and require her to pass a British test. It's NOT easy.

 

Honestly, I'd just take her driving priviledge away for a long time. Over here, kids aren't even allowed to get a permit until they're 17yo. And the law is soon changing to 18yo. Apparently, they've done studies to show that the brain of a 16-17yo is just not wired for safe driving - a bit like the 'don't teach them algebra until there's hair under their arms' theory.

 

:grouphug:

[Pippen]

None of this changes the fact that I still think her driving needs great improvement and other than hours (and hours and hours) behind the wheel, I don't know how to make that happen. It means she can't have the freedom we were all hoping her license would give her. It means she can't take the family van because we really need it to be in good working order.

 

The real clincher in this situation is that the root problem is money. We can't afford these kind of expenses and daughter can't afford to really do any restitution. We can't afford to fix the van so we have to live with it.

 

 

IMO, the root problem is that she isn't ready for the freedoms she's had behind the wheel. My oldest was in a similar situation as he approached his birthday so we delayed the test for a few months (we might have delayed longer except he was about to enter an extracurricular that would severely limit his time to practice. When he got his license he continued to do practice driving with us, plus we allowed him to drive to school, church, and a nearby store (all within a mile) because we felt driving those very familiar routes would be helpful.

[Melinda in VT]

I agree, this sounds supsiciously like either a vision problem (she could have 20/20 vision and still have depth perception issues) or maybe another sensory issue, where she has trouble knowing where her body is in space. Is she clumsy at all in other ways, or just driving?

 

Thank you, thank you, for mentioning this.

 

I have one who has been really slow to develop a sense of herself in space, and it never occurred to me that this could have implications on her driving. (I know, it seems obvious, but I hadn't thought about it.) She's only 11 now, but I'll definitely keep this in mind as she approaches driving age.

 

Although I can just imagine the scene we'll have if her twin brother is allowed to get his license and she isn't allowed to get hers. :tongue_smilie:

[May]

Doesn't sound like she is ready to have her license without alot more practice driving with mom or dad. My youngest dd is 17 and still has her permit. She is in no hurry and neither are we. I would never attempt to teach someone how to drive a clutch unless they were good drivers otherwise. There's just alot going on when teaching that skill.

[Mary in VA]

This was always by biggest fears, when my kids were old enough to drive. We decided that when our children were old enough, that they would not be allowed a drivers license until they were 18. Older if we felt they needed to be.

 

My son got his license at 19.

 

My daughter is now 18 and still does not have her license. She has her permit. I still do not think she is ready to have a drivers license yet. Maybe in the summer.

 

 

:iagree: Our oldest dd, now 20, didn't get her license until she was a week shy of 18. Not because we planned it that way. She had her permit at the earliest possible moment, but just didn't have time to do all the requirments Virginia has and wasn't really motivated until her senior year. I was amazed at the improvement between 16 and 18. Her driving skills improved immensly, but in particular her judgement was SOOOOO much better. I'm actually really glad it worked out that way.

 

Our 16 yo dd has me a little worried. Her perception of distances and judgement of when to pull out, merge, etc. is questionable. It is not what her sister's was at that age. Now her actual physical driving ability, i.e. ability to steer and operate the mechanical aspects of the car is better. We will give her A LOT of practice over the next few years. She will turn 18 at the beginning of her senior year, so I'm thinking no license until near graduation. Just because she can legally get her license doesn't mean she has to!

 

Mary

[Jean in Wisc]

I have 3 drivers now...although the oldest got married this summer and is no longer home. I made them all drive with me for a year and even longer. I told them that they would not get the car until I was comfortable enough to fall asleep while they were driving. I don't regret it. Right now my youngest is starting to get to drive alone a little bit, but I still go as often as I can. It allows me to tweak his driving skills even though he is almost 18. IMO, kids get to drive alone way too soon. So far (knock on wood) we've had no accidents.

 

Maybe you need to consider how often you hand her the keys and choose to sit in the passenger seat with her a few more months?

 

Jean

[3littlekeets]

In actuality, her first accident seemed like a rookie mistake to me. I wasn't that concerned. Everyone I have talked to has opened their door onto that pole by the gas pumps or pulled out too close to it.

 

It was the mailbox 2 days later that really brought the problem into focus!

 

Lisaj

 

 

Lisa, a rookie mistake in a car can be a deadly one. She is clearly a great kid who just needs a lot more supervised driving (or as others have suggested, and eye exam, as well). She is simply not ready to be driving solo. If she harms someone, including herself, the guilt will be overwhelming for you.

[MamaT]

It sounds like she needs a lot more practice driving with mom or dad until she has much more experience and skill.

 

We let our kids get their license at 16, but they know their driving alone is very limited at first. By the time they are 17 they have had enough experience (mostly with a parent in the car) to be trusted to drive pretty much anywhere.

 

My 2nd son, who was always very good immediately at everything he tried, was the worse driver I have ever seen. It did humble him. He totaled his car when he was 17 and refused to drive at all after that. Ironically, he became the driver for a general while in Japan. We prayed for the general's safety. :001_smile:

[Wheres Toto]

My 16 year old just got her permit and I am scared to death. It's probably just as much me as her but 1) our Suburban is the only car she can practice on and it's HUGE and we live by mostly narrow, winding, hilly roads with no shoulders and lots of bikers; 2) I have a depth perception problem so I always feel like she's too close to the side of the road; 3) we live in NJ and there are NO quiet, empty streets to practice on, instead she ends up driving on major highways (mostly going 60mph+) in rush hour traffic. :blink:

 

She actually HATES driving the Suburban because its so big and at this point, wants to learn to drive a manual transmission so she can drive our Honda Civic. I'm not sure having her get used to steering, turning, accelerating, braking AND clutching/shifting all at the same time is a good idea. On the other hand - a whole generation of people had no choice but to learn to drive on a clutch. I didn't get my license until I was 19 and I spent 2 weeks practicing, got my license, then spent two weeks learning a clutch and had to drive 50 miles one way on the Garden State Parkway. And dd is WAY more coordinated than I am. But, she's also younger than I was at that point.

 

Can you tell I'm having a real hard time deciding what to do?:001_huh:

[Jean in Wisc]

My 16 year old just got her permit and I am scared to death. It's probably just as much me as her but 1) our Suburban is the only car she can practice on and it's HUGE and we live by mostly narrow, winding, hilly roads with no shoulders and lots of bikers; 2) I have a depth perception problem so I always feel like she's too close to the side of the road; 3) we live in NJ and there are NO quiet, empty streets to practice on, instead she ends up driving on major highways (mostly going 60mph+) in rush hour traffic. :blink:

 

She actually HATES driving the Suburban because its so big and at this point, wants to learn to drive a manual transmission so she can drive our Honda Civic. I'm not sure having her get used to steering, turning, accelerating, braking AND clutching/shifting all at the same time is a good idea. On the other hand - a whole generation of people had no choice but to learn to drive on a clutch. I didn't get my license until I was 19 and I spent 2 weeks practicing, got my license, then spent two weeks learning a clutch and had to drive 50 miles one way on the Garden State Parkway. And dd is WAY more coordinated than I am. But, she's also younger than I was at that point.

 

Can you tell I'm having a real hard time deciding what to do?:001_huh:

 

We spent a lot of time in parking lots--empty ones at first. This is a great way to practice the manual transmission, starting, stopping, parking, going in reverse... Find large facilities with endless parking lots and start in the far reaches where not so many cars are parked. It has taken my son quite a while to get proficient, but he does really well now with the manual.

 

Jean

[Pretty in Pink]

Originally Posted by Martha

I say this kindly.

 

It's time to take the keys. Have her earn enough money or you guys save and have her take a quality driving course. AND a defensive driving course. And no driving solo until she passes them.

 

It's not a punishment and it doesn't mean you are mad.

 

It's just what needs to be done.

 

Because it could have been a toddler or someone else that she hit instead of a pole, mailbox, or tree. And next time it might be.

 

She just isn't ready to be behind the wheel.

 

I completely agree. Your daughter is not ready to drive without supervision.

 

FWIW I was a reckless teen driver as well. I drove too fast in general, sped down dirt roads, took curves too quickly (and ended up in several ditches because of it). I was not ready to drive without a parent present. I was also lucky that I did not kill someone.

[cathmom]

I was just reading last night that Elizabeth Edwards will be buried next to her son, who died at age 16 when he flipped his Jeep. I think that children drive too young in the US. Our oldest did not get his permit until he was 18. We live rurally, so most of our driving is the most dangerous kind - 2 lane rural roads. In addition, this particular child was constantly breaking things (come to my house and I'll give you a tour of what he's broken LOL :D) and we did not want him driving yet.

[sarawatsonim]

I agree that she is completely not ready for the privilege of driving. I would take these three accidents as warnings and you are very lucky that they all involved only objects and not people.

I'm 31 and don't drive. I accepted long ago that my vision isn't quite good enough and my depth perception is terrible, especially at night. As much freedom driving would give me (and making my life a lot easier) I have chosen not to take the risk to myself, my family or others by driving.

[Tammyla]

I'd have her vision tested, and then have her drive only with an adult in the car. Did she take a drivers ed class with road instruction?

[Miss Marple]

I say this kindly.

 

It's time to take the keys. Have her earn enough money or you guys save and have her take a quality driving course. AND a defensive driving course. And no driving solo until she passes them.

 

It's not a punishment and it doesn't mean you are mad.

 

It's just what needs to be done.

 

Because it could have been a toddler or someone else that she hit instead of a pole, mailbox, or tree. And next time it might be.

 

She just isn't ready to be behind the wheel.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: I'm on my 3rd teen driver (1 to go). Some kids just aren't ready at 16. With her history, I would not hesitate to continue "driver's ed" where she can only drive with you in the car.

 

I have told my boys that a vehicle is a deadly weapon. They have to be responsible enough to handle it. Not only do I worry about their lives, but how can I put other people's lives/property at risk just because the law says they can drive at 16?

 

Your daughter sounds like a fantastic young lady - just not ready to be behind the wheel yet. Give her more time :001_smile:

[Mejane]

I agree with all those who said she should drive supervised for awhile.

 

I always wonder why 16 is the age chosen by most places. Ime, 16 is the prime age when most kids have their heads up their butt.

 

My daughter will be 18 in a few months. She's had her permit for a year. She's a good driver; we're just not ready to cut her loose yet and she doesn't feel the need to hurry it.

 

Four kids between the ages of 15 and 17 died in an accident here yesterday. I'm sure their parents are wishing they had made them wait. :(

[74Heaven]

IMO, the root problem is that she isn't ready for the freedoms she's had behind the wheel. My oldest was in a similar situation as he approached his birthday so we delayed the test for a few months (we might have delayed longer except he was about to enter an extracurricular that would severely limit his time to practice. When he got his license he continued to do practice driving with us, plus we allowed him to drive to school, church, and a nearby store (all within a mile) because we felt driving those very familiar routes would be helpful.

 

ITA! THis is exactly what we are doing. We are taking every precaution. We live on a dirt road that is 25 miles an hour speed limit. We live very rurally so the chance of seeing a pedestrian or even another car is very rare. She never drives duringschool bus drop off and pick up times when kids will be waiting by the road.

We live in an area that most of you can not even imagine what it is like to drive out here daily. It is just totally different from driving in town. On the 2.5 miles between here and church, she will pass only *2* roads. one with a yield sign and one with a stop sign. She will pass about 8 homes/farms with long driveways (about 1/4mile long driveways). She will not see *any* cars 90% of the time until we get to the parking lot at church. There are no lines, no shoulders (tho the roads are pretty wide) and no traffic.

 

For those that advocate "pulling the keys" that is essentially what we are doing. When she drives to church (2.5 miles, we won't see a car until we get to church approx) one of us rides with her or we have started following her as she is improving. The carpool and church driving are just for practice.

 

With her sister, we did the same thing; your "driver's license" means nothing. It is just a way that you can practice driving longer.

 

One other thing, although I do *not* think my daughter's driving accidents are signs of being ready to drive, only the middle one (mailbox killing) was really a "moving vehicle" accident.

 

We are taking it very responsibly and cautiously.

 

Lisa J

[Brilliant]

I'd have her vision tested, and then have her drive only with an adult in the car. Did she take a drivers ed class with road instruction?

 

I was wondering this, too. My dd took AAA driving course which was fantastic. It's expensive - about $350 - but might save you money in the long run! There were a couple of students in the class my dd took who already had been driving a while with permits, but were in the class b/c they failed the behind-the-wheel test for the real license. So there's no shame in back-tracking to get more training.

 

Apparently the AAA course doesn't teach the difference between unleaded gas and diesel fuel, however. :D

[hillfarm]

Those poles, trees and mailboxes could have been children. Take away her license immediately or restrict her driving to ONLY those times when an approved adult driver can ride with her. She is not safe for herself or others.

 

I'm sorry but her right to drive does not include endangerment of others and their property. Perhaps in a year or two she will have the maturity to be safe enough to earn the privilege of driving.

[JVA]

I say this kindly.

 

It's time to take the keys. Have her earn enough money or you guys save and have her take a quality driving course. AND a defensive driving course. And no driving solo until she passes them.

 

It's not a punishment and it doesn't mean you are mad.

 

It's just what needs to be done.

 

Because it could have been a toddler or someone else that she hit instead of a pole, mailbox, or tree. And next time it might be.

 

She just isn't ready to be behind the wheel.

 

:iagree: You responded lovingly to the accidents but with 3 strikes it looks like she's not ready. Our oldest ds was a 'drifty' personality and just didn't have it together to be alone and drive until he was 17 and a few months. Another ds didn't get his liscense until he was 17 either- that was because of school performance and attitude. So when child #4 was interested, he knew the score: attitude + character + grades = privelges. We also required 100 hours of practice driving with me, dh or Grandpa (who was a stickler for detail, let me tell you!) With all 4 older kids, Grandpa had them turn around at least once and go home if they ran a stop sign, didn't come to a complete stop, exceeded the speed limit etc... Shaped them up!

I know it's nice to let them have some freedom and to be freed up yourself and not have to take them everywhere but I think your daughter just needs to let reality sink in. Sorry it's gone this way.

[Murphy101]

I don't care how secluded the country road.

 

If anything that makes it worse. I mean there is pretty much nothing around and she STILL manages that much damage?!

 

So I still say, no driving until she passes a driving course and a defensive driving course.

 

Whether she wraps her car around a poll in a busy street or the country. Whether she hits a country kid running across a dirt road or a housing division. It really won't matter if it happens.

 

She just isn't ready.:grouphug:

[PiCO]

I made them all drive with me for a year and even longer. I told them that they would not get the car until I was comfortable enough to fall asleep while they were driving. I don't regret it.

 

I completely agree with this. I had my dd drive half the time on a long road-trip when she had her permit. The next year, we went when she had her DL and I slept a good amount of the time.

 

My dd got her license as early as possible- her 16th birthday. She has followed all rules, and has no accidents to date. She took a professional-led driving course, and did 6 hrs behind-the-wheel with the instructor (in addition to a LOT of hours with me in the passenger seat.) I thought she was ready at 16.

 

I think my younger dd will be ready at 16 also, but if she proves not to be I will have no problem delaying the driving test or restricting her driving until I feel she is ready.

 

I think the OP's dd needs an eye exam and a LOT more practice. Practice with cones in an empty parking lot, finding out where the sides and ends of the car actually are.