Was 30 bad for you?

[GWOB]

Or am I just really over-reacting?

 

Tomorrow is the big day:ack2::eek: and I am not excited. I have been absolutely horrible for the last few weeks. My biological clock is beyond ticking. It is slapping me upside the head screaming "Hey old lady!!!!" I have three kids. We are DONE having kids. But, tomorrow is my 2nd 29th birthday, so I now feel as though I MUST have another kid.

 

Then there is the fact that I am stuck in a place I loathe. I don't see us ever leaving, which just solidifies the thought that my life is over at 2nd 29.

 

And should we even get into the fact that I have acomplished next to nothing? That all I've done the last 20 years is raise kids? (First raising my sisters since my mom is nuts, then my own kids.)

 

I am leaving to obtain wine and chocolate. Or maybe something stronger. Maybe chocolate liquor(sp) mixed with Vodka with a magical anti-aging potion thrown in for good measure.

[dragons in the flower bed]

(((Wendi))). Raising kids is something. Imagine what would have happened to them if you hadn't.

[Mommy22alyns]

:grouphug: 30 kinda sucked for me, but I'm having a harder time on the other side of it! I know exactly how you feel though, minus one kid. ;)

[justamouse]

the 30s are the hard work that catapults you gloriously into your 40s, where you will be settled with yourself.

 

I keep telling myself that.

[Shelly in IL]

40 wasn't that bad, either. Maybe 50 will be awful - maybe not, too - it's all in your attitude! Be thankful!

[Crimson Wife]

My biological clock is beyond ticking. It is slapping me upside the head screaming "Hey old lady!!!!" I have three kids. We are DONE having kids. But, tomorrow is my 2nd 29th birthday, so I now feel as though I MUST have another kid.

 

You've got plenty of time to have another baby if that's what you decide you want to do. Both my grandma and my MIL got pregnant naturally in their 40's. There's a mom in my local HS support group who had a surprise pregnancy at 46. :svengo:

 

I'm 3 1/2 years older than you and DO want another baby at some point. But I'm not feeling any huge time pressure about it.

[Mommyof4ks]

I am 30 and this has been a stellar year for me!! My youngest son finished cancer treatment though, so my age was not my focus this year. 30 is what you make it!! It is funny though, because I did not like my 20s much even though I got married, had 3 kids, bought our first house, and so on during that time. It felt as though I had to prove that I was an adult during those years, but now I don't feel that way and I can have some fun without being called a kid lol.

[dancer67]

Well, you are still young enough to have kids:001_smile: And Happy Birthday!

30 was not bad for me.

Turning 40 was hell. I think even my body knew the day I turned 40. I got a kidney stone.....grrrr...........

 

:grouphug: to you.

[delaney]

the 30s are the hard work that catapults you gloriously into your 40s, where you will be settled with yourself.

 

I keep telling myself that.

No I really think that is true! I wouldn't go back to my 20s for anything. Even some of my 30s. I really feel fine at 41!

[fairfarmhand]

If I had to go back to 20 and relive all the stupid errors that I made especially in my early 20's I'd gladly take 30. Now if I could have my 20 year old body back and the wisdom of my 30's that would be sweet!!!

 

Really though, my mom gave me great perspective on this. She had a life threatening tumor in her brain. She told me that before cancer her birthdays bothered her a bit, but after cancer she said that birthdays are better than the alternative.

[Momling]

I still felt part-kid in my 20's. 30's, though, are awesome! You're grown up enough that people take you seriously, yet you still have a body that is healthy and strong and energetic.

[mbeaser]

I didn't actually have a problem with 30. Now, 35 is a whole other story (for me). I'll hit that one in a few days here. I think a lot depends on where you are at personally. I was too busy leading up to 30 to worry about it, lol. Now, I'm healthier and happier than I was at 30 (look better too :D ), but I'm also single (and haven't even *talked* to a guy since XH and I split) and the age my Mom was when she had me. Oh, and XH thought he was done with kids when I turned 30, but my younger DD was born when I was 31 :) I'd love more kiddos, but I'm holding out for Mr. Right first ;)

[Gooblink]

Not a bit! I didn't have kids until I was past my mid-thirties, though. Sometimes I regret not doing the kid thing earlier. My husband was lamenting that we never get a date night. I told him there'll be plenty of time when the kids move out. He said, "Yeah, but by that time I'm gonna be married to an old lady!" :)

 

Just think - you'll still be young and able to accomplish all those things you feel you haven't accomplished yet.

 

Happy Birthday!

[TracyP]

I still felt part-kid in my 20's. 30's, though, are awesome! You're grown up enough that people take you seriously, yet you still have a body that is healthy and strong and energetic.

 

:iagree: I just turned 30 but I was excited. I am a grown up now!

[ScoutTN]

30 was awful for me! But mostly because I was still single and wanted to be married with kids.

40 was no problem, even pg with DS!

 

Eat something chocolaty and yummy and rejoice in all your blessings!

[mcconnellboys]

Well, LOL, I'm so old that I really can't remember 30. I didn't even have my first child until 32 and I'm about to be almost twice your age next week. So I'm thinkin' that life's not over; that you can or can not have another child as you choose; and that perhaps the place you hate will grow on you over time (as this place has on us)..... That said, I highly recommend both chocolate and wine for any occasion (or none at all), so cheers to you!

[DawnM]

30 wasn't hard for me, 40 was.

 

I am 44 and have three children, ages 12, 10, and 6......do the math, you have plenty of time! :D

 

I didn't get married until I was 29 though.

 

Dawn

[Carol in Cal.]

I refused to be 35. I just told everyone that I was going straight to 36 and staying there for two years. 35 is the end of the young adult demographic. It's the end of the 18 to 35 demographic. It's the end of the 25 to 35 demographic. There is not another age until around 60 or 65 that is so fraught.

 

Having said that, the time after that was pretty good for quite a while. I feel like I achieved some kind of significant calm in life. No more franticness for quite some time. Later I realized that I didn't have advertisers coming at me so much, and that I felt that I was calmly, maturely resisting them when actually they had given up on me. :lol:

 

My advice to you is wait another couple of years and have another baby. Oxytocin is a wonderful thing for a peaceful spirit! (JK)

[tennismomkelly]

30 was a breeze. However, I'll be 36 this year and I'm already starting to get a little nervous about 40. :blush:

 

Happy Birthday! Enjoy that chocolate. :D

[Brindee]

30 is older, but not old! 30 is young, but not childish (unless you want to be!) :lol: 30 is just getting going on life, and a time to be happy and have a zest for life!

 

Now, if you said 70 or 80, I'd commiserate with you. But 30? Naaaahhhh, it's a WONDERFUL time!

[JenC3]

It was great b/c I got pg with dd right before my b-day:)

[GWOB]

I am 30 and this has been a stellar year for me!! My youngest son finished cancer treatment though, so my age was not my focus this year. 30 is what you make it!! It is funny though, because I did not like my 20s much even though I got married, had 3 kids, bought our first house, and so on during that time. It felt as though I had to prove that I was an adult during those years, but now I don't feel that way and I can have some fun without being called a kid lol.

 

Same here! I got pg with dd9 when I was 19. We got married, moved around, bought 2 houses, and had more kids, all while trying to be "grown up."

 

30 has given me backbone.

 

I haven't been 30 for long and I felt about like you do as it approached. Once my birthday came and went I ended up with this sense of freedom. I care less about what other people think. I get taken more seriously because I am not long a "20- something" and I have found that ability to confidently say what I really think and feel.

 

30 can be good. Try to embrace your 30's.

 

 

I am really hoping this is the same for me. I already feel the "whatever" attitude creeping up. It seems like I never felt confident speaking up for myself because I was "the kid." Hopefully 30 changes that.

 

I still felt part-kid in my 20's. 30's, though, are awesome! You're grown up enough that people take you seriously, yet you still have a body that is healthy and strong and energetic.

 

My body is much better now that it was when I was 20, mostly because I was 6 months pg on my 20th birthday;).

 

Thanks everyone! Your words, along with a wonderful glass of Pinot Noir and chocolate, have made me feel a little better.

[Remudamom]

So far I haven't had a problem with any of them and I'm 52. You could be dead.

[KatherineNaomi]

I still felt part-kid in my 20's. 30's, though, are awesome! You're grown up enough that people take you seriously, yet you still have a body that is healthy and strong and energetic.

 

This exactly! Plus I had 3 kids and I figured it was probably about time I was 30. I did end up having a bonus baby at 32 so you never know what life may bring.

[GWOB]

So far I haven't had a problem with any of them and I'm 52. You could be dead.

 

:D I like you!

[nono]

Oh honey strap yourself in....all the good stuff happens after you turn 30!!! I was like you in that 30 didn't "sit" well with me, but oh was I wrong. That's all I'm telling you! :D (And, I've had a crazy, wonderful ride these last 15 years since turning 30, and I still feel 28!)

[LibraryLover]

Well...what is the alternative to turning 30? :D That seems worse to me.

 

Happy Birthday!

 

You have at least a couple of good years left to have a baby. :D j/k. Most people I know didn't even start having children until their 30s.

[elegantlion]

Oh honey strap yourself in....all the good stuff happens after you turn 30!!! I was like you in that 30 didn't "sit" well with me, but oh was I wrong. That's all I'm telling you! :D (And, I've had a crazy, wonderful ride these last 15 years since turning 30, and I still feel 28!)

 

:iagree:I turned 43 this month, which is turning out to be better than 42, which was pretty good.

 

I was 5 months pregnant and felt miserable when I turned 30. Ironically 37 was harder. I turned 37 and found my first grey hair in the same month. I plucked the grey hair and while doing so I couldn't remember how old I had just turned (seriously!). I had a good cry and then used my calculator.

[GWOB]

:iagree:I turned 43 this month, which is turning out to be better than 42, which was pretty good.

 

I was 5 months pregnant and felt miserable when I turned 30. Ironically 37 was harder. I turned 37 and found my first grey hair in the same month. I plucked the grey hair and while doing so I couldn't remember how old I had just turned (seriously!). I had a good cry and then used my calculator.

 

Well, I discovered the gray when I was almost 27 and pg with the little dd. She has since caused a LOT more gray hair. I should have prepared myself then.

[sassenach]

I turned 30 (Own it! No more of this 2nd 29 stuff) last month. It was mostly anti-climatic. A friend also turned 30 this month and I think she put it well. She said that she just always thought of 30 as the age when you have everything figured out and it freaked her out that she is turning 30 and feels like she doesn't have anything figured out! I can relate to that. It has really helped me to have friends that are older than me. On my birthday, I went out to coffee with my 2 neighbors. They are both 15-20 years older than me, but with kids the same ages as mine. I felt so encouraged by these ladies. They seem so young and have so much going on in their lives. It was an excellent reminder that age is not closing in on me as quickly as I sometimes feel like it is.

[EKS]

30 wasn't bad. 40 was a bit more thought provoking. I'm anticipating 50 being big.

[Laurie4b]

The 30's was a super decade for me. That would be where I would choose to go back.

I had my *first* child at 36; my last at 42. You have plenty of time. :)

 

Don't wish away what could be the best years of your life.

[GWOB]

Ok, ok! I guess I will own it. The 30's are great. I will magically gain some sort of hidden insight. I will no longer care what others think of me. Bring it 30!

[Peela]

Turning 30 was really hard for me- much harder than turning 40. It kind of felt like the end of my carefree twenties, and now I had to be a real Grown Up. On the other hand...I did start to feel more mature and I did enjoy that.

 

DOnt worry about nto doing anything with your life. Many , many women do "something other than child rearing" after their child rearing days are past. Once you get up to your 40s, you realise, life really does get better as you get older, and there is still plenty of time to do what you want to do. I now look at women in their 50s and think, gosh, they dont look so old after all :)

 

Enjoy your 30th borthday and embrace your age. There are a lot of good things about getting older, and you are not old yet!

[MicheleinMN]

I felt like I was old before I was old, IYKWIM. I was 35 by the time I was 20, and I LOVED it when I turned 35. It felt perfect. Then I turned 36...bad, bad year. Then I turned 37...still pretty bad. By 40....it was all good again. :)

[StephanieZ]

I spent my 30th birthday talking to my dad's neurosurgeon and learning he was about to die without ever waking up again. . . . And then getting back on another plane to be by his bedside (arriving there the night of my birthday).

 

I had just returned to my infant and toddler a few days prior after spending a week with him in the ICU before handing off to my brother. . . and was now leaving my nursing infant AGAIN for another week so I could go witness his death. . . It was such a horrendous day (actually 17 days surrounding both sides of the 30th bday) that I managed to never feel bad about the birthday itself.

 

So, I look forward to 40 this summer without any worry at all.

 

I was cured of minding getting older by that one horrid birthday. I used to have issues w/ dh about my birthdays, presents, etc. . . But since 30. . . I am easy.

 

If noone dies, and I don't have to yank my breast away from a nursing infant. . . then I am happy.

 

Be thankful, be happy, be alive. . .

[MamaT]

Be excited to turn 30! My 30's were so much better than my 20's. I had my 4th ds the year I turned 30 and 3 more dc later!

 

I loved my 30's, but my 40's are even better. :001_smile:

[Hockey Mom]

I LOVED my 30s!!! Being in your 30s means that people treat you with a little more respect because you're no longer in your 20s. :D I'll be 40 in October, and I can't wait. Every year you get to celebrate your birthday with your friends and family is a blessing. :)

[Desert Rat]

I'm nearing the end of my 30s. I'll be 39 in a few weeks. I loved my 30s! Don't worry! It's not that bad.

[elizabeth]

It is a blessing. As the birthdays come and go I just miss my brother more and more, he would have been a really great older guy and a genuine joy to grow old with but it was not to be. My only regret is that people I really love and respect so very much are not here to celebrate these milestones with me. 30 does seem like a milestone and for me was in some ways but at 40 I hit my stride. Men fear me. Small children look at their footsies rather than raise my ire. It is totally awesome. I do not know what it is but all of a sudden there is deference. Embrace your inner ***** and enjoy this stage of life. My dh is 62 so with a rather large age difference ,I see age differently than many who are married to someone the same age. The upshot of this rambling post is that every birthday is a blessing, there is a time for all seasons of life and whatever little misgivings you have it beats the heck out of being 6 feet under.

[Starr]

Celebrate, have a party, it's going to be great! :party: I loved my 30s.

[GWOB]

I spent my 30th birthday talking to my dad's neurosurgeon and learning he was about to die without ever waking up again. . . . And then getting back on another plane to be by his bedside (arriving there the night of my birthday).

 

I had just returned to my infant and toddler a few days prior after spending a week with him in the ICU before handing off to my brother. . . and was now leaving my nursing infant AGAIN for another week so I could go witness his death. . . It was such a horrendous day (actually 17 days surrounding both sides of the 30th bday) that I managed to never feel bad about the birthday itself.

 

So, I look forward to 40 this summer without any worry at all.

 

I was cured of minding getting older by that one horrid birthday. I used to have issues w/ dh about my birthdays, presents, etc. . . But since 30. . . I am easy.

 

If noone dies, and I don't have to yank my breast away from a nursing infant. . . then I am happy.

 

Be thankful, be happy, be alive. . .

 

Ahhh, perspective!. Thanks. But still, what an awful birthday. Yeah, I should just be thankful I am alive and can hug my littles. (I have issues with my dad, though I am thankful he is alive.) I hope your 40th rocks!

Edited May 30, 2010 by wendilouwho

[cin]

the 30s are the hard work that catapults you gloriously into your 40s, where you will be settled with yourself.

 

I keep telling myself that.

 

HAHAHAHAHA I'm 45 with an 8 yr old possible aspie and a 5 yr old bundle of energy. Where is that gloriously settling down???? :smilielol5::smilielol5:

[GWOB]

It is a blessing. As the birthdays come and go I just miss my brother more and more, he would have been a really great older guy and a genuine joy to grow old with but it was not to be. My only regret is that people I really love and respect so very much are not here to celebrate these milestones with me. 30 does seem like a milestone and for me was in some ways but at 40 I hit my stride. Men fear me. Small children look at their footsies rather than raise my ire. It is totally awesome. I do not know what it is but all of a sudden there is deference. Embrace your inner ***** and enjoy this stage of life. My dh is 62 so with a rather large age difference ,I see age differently than many who are married to someone the same age. The upshot of this rambling post is that every birthday is a blessing, there is a time for all seasons of life and whatever little misgivings you have it beats the heck out of being 6 feet under.

 

Oh honey, the inner b*^&% is coming out in full force! And I find it rather ironic that I can love both you and Remundamom in the same thread!

[NanceXToo]

I cried all day on my 30th birthday.

 

31-36 weren't bad at all. I just turned 37 and while it wasn't as bad as turning 30, it was a little tough- it just sounds SO much closer to 40 lol. And while I don't want any more kids either, that feeling of knowing that I'm close to not being ABLE to is quite bothersome! That it won't be my choice anymore. Ugh.

[elizabeth]

Like I said It's all good!

[Hedgehogs4]

my feeling was that when i turned 30 i was finally grown up. i was done making stupid mistakes. when i turned 40, i seemed to be finally really content with the person that i am, and all those complaints i was making at 30 were "so what?"

 

life is good--well worth living. don't look at what you haven't done. look at what you have done and what you've been given. see if you'd trade any of it...my guess is you wouldn't. even the crazy mom part, because you wouldn't be as strong as you are now, and you wouldn't be such a good mom and sister if she weren't.

 

imo, there's nothing you can do in this life that can top raising good kids. it's like the gold vein that later is found in a rock long after we're gone. i think we have to look beyond our lifetimes to define what is success, and not worry so much about measuring our "accomplishments" by modern standards.

[LibraryLover]

You should see my mother. She just went on a road trip vacation with her husband, and she looks fabulous. Ok, not without some, ahem, help. But she is ...I can't tell her age because she will hunt me down...but wow, let me just tell you 70 (around ;)) is not what it used to be. Seriously. She is ...wow. Active, busy, quite active.

 

 

30 is older, but not old! 30 is young, but not childish (unless you want to be!) :lol: 30 is just getting going on life, and a time to be happy and have a zest for life!

 

Now, if you said 70 or 80, I'd commiserate with you. But 30? Naaaahhhh, it's a WONDERFUL time!

[GWOB]

I cried all day on my 30th birthday.

 

31-36 weren't bad at all. I just turned 37 and while it wasn't as bad as turning 30, it was a little tough- it just sounds SO much closer to 40 lol. And while I don't want any more kids either, that feeling of knowing that I'm close to not being ABLE to is quite bothersome! That it won't be my choice anymore. Ugh.

 

Oh, I've cried like the whole month before 30! And I am sooooooo not a sappy, weepy kind of gal. And, we cannot have any more kids, as I have had my "pet" spayed or neutered;), though now that I am (gasp) 30 and little dd is now 3, I just want a squirmy, sweet-smelling little lovey!

[GWOB]

You should see my mother. She just went on a road trip vacation with her husband, and she looks fabulous. Ok, not without some, ahem, help. But she is ...I can't tell her age because she will hunt me down...but wow, let me just tell you 70 (around ;)) is not what it used to be. Seriously. She is ...wow. Active, busy, quite active.

 

At this point in life, with things sagging and migrating south for the winter of my discontent, I am so not above "help".