Did YOU or DH go to an elite college, and do you expect/hope for the same for yr kids

[Halcyon]

:bigear:

[gingersmom]

What do you consider an "elite" college?

[Halcyon]

for argument's sake, let's say the top 20 colleges in either of these lists:

 

http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/national-universities-rankings

 

http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/liberal-arts-rankings

[Catherine]

Dh went to an Ivy, and while we realize that going to an elite institution is not the key to happiness in life, it is certainly true that it opens up opportunities. It is, without a question, what allowed dh and I to ascend into the middle class and entertain hopes that our kids could be well-educated as well. So perhaps we have a more rosy view of elite education than some would have.

[mamato3 all-boy boys]

Yes I did.

 

But for my kids? It is immaterial. I would rather they go to college that they prefer to attend and (of course) one they/we can afford.

[Lara in Colo]

I went to a bible college (won't recommend THAT). Hubby went Univ of Denver.

 

I find that a lot of people settle near where they go to college. My friends that went to other states stayed there. I want my children to be near me when they grow up, (not to be clingy, but so that they have each other and myself for support- sometimes family is all you've got-when we moved the only ones who showed up were DH's brother and mine)

 

So , the college question... in state would be good but if they got into a top school I would never hold them back.

 

 

Lara

[Tap]

No. LOL I didn't go to an elite college. I did go to a small private college. I hope for ds to go to a college that has a variety of classes similar to his major, so he can try a little of everything before he settles into one career. It would be nice to see him spend some time at one school and not have to jump around between colleges. I guess I just expect him to major jump a bit :lol: so I am getting ready for it mentally now. LOL

 

As a side note:

One thing that I have heard a lot of people say, is that they regret the time they spent in expensive private colleges, especially for their undergrad degrees. We are just starting to look at colleges for ds15 so I talk to a lot of people about their experiences.

 

I work in pharmacy so I am surrounded by pharmacists all day. They almost all have doctorate degrees and some have more schooling beyond that into specialties and a few have various medical degrees like Physician's Assistant too. The majority of young pharmacists that I know, have $100,00+ in student debt. Many, many people have told me that they wish they would have considered the financial cost of their education better, and not just the college. While they enjoyed their time in various schools, many have told me that they feel they would have done just as well at a cheaper college and would have came out with much, much less debt.

 

I have heard the same talking to dhs business associates. They have degrees in business, marketing and human resources. Overwhelmingly, they regret the $$ spent on their education and the loans they have now due to these early choices.

[snickelfritz]

dh went to a community college and then to a state university. I met him at the state university, where we both got engineering degrees.

 

dh has worked up to being the COO of his company and we live a comfortable lifestyle with me staying home, retirement, health insurance, vacations, music lessons for our kids, etc... dh's family is in the same city and mine is within a few hours. I can't think of anything that an ivy league university would have gotten us, except higher student loans.

 

I think the more important thing is the CHOICE of major. While I don't advocate picking a major ONLY based on earning potential and there are always upswings and downswings in fields...... I know people who went to private universities and took out student loans for such things as education or psychology majors. I don't see that as a positive cost/benefit decision.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

My alma mater is in the top 25. Harvard is DS's dream school. DD has no desire to attend an elite school. She just wants an education that will guarantee a job in four years.

[JFSinIL]

My graduate schools are on that list (UCLA and Northwestern). My ds is hoping to get into Vanderbilt (no word yet - and it is a long shot).

 

I started at community college and worked my way up, via state u. then LAC in S. California before getting into UCLA and NU.

[Dmmetler]

DH and I both went to Carnegie Mellon via APEA (early admission program for accelerated/gifted students), and I think both of us would love to see DD eventually do it too. Which may be why she gets to go play on the campus playground every time we're in Pittsburgh:). For me, at least, CMU was the first place I ever really felt like I belonged and fit in, so there's a major emotional tie there-not to mention that I met the man I married there!

[mamato3 all-boy boys]

Overwhelmingly, they regret the $$ spent on their education and the loans they have now due to these early choices.

 

This is exactly why the prestige level of college is not a huge factor for me. My top-25 undergraduate college is currently listed at $38K. Although we have 8 years before oldest ds goes to college, there is no way our savings or income can afford that type of school -- and they don't give a lot of scholarships either.

 

I totally enjoyed my experience at said university and am grateful beyond measure to my parents for the sacrifice they made to help me through school. But, I would rather my son(s) attend a school that will help them attain their God-given potential without sacrificing their future ability to provide financial security to their own family. Besides, there was no such thing as the internet when I was in college (nor such thing as Windows!) and the options for obtaining college credit are so much more than in my day -- comm. college classes while in high school, CLEP (much more prevalent now -- I'd not heard of it in the mid 80s), accelerated distance learning.....and who knows what else will evolve over the next 8 years.

 

If my kids decide that they want to go to college to prepare themselves for their vocations, then I'll help them look into alternatives that might cost significantly less than traditional brick and mortar universities. After all we homeschoolers are a creative bunch!

[FriedClams]

Yes, I graduated from an "elite". DH did not. We only want God's will for our kids. Any college (or none) is fin as long as they love the Lord and are working hard to serve Him and others. :)

[Jennifer in MI]

Yes and Yes. Vassar (me). Penn (dh).

 

For us, it depends on the child. Ds1 would flounder at a large school. He's already decided he wants to attend a local engineering school - Kettering.

 

Ds2 would LOVE to go to Yale. I don't know exactly why he chose Yale! But, if he gets in, you can bet your butt we'll find a way to pay for it. (Just asked him - he said, "It's a great school and they have a really good rowing team."

 

The others are too young still.

 

My dh is REALLY glad he went to an Ivy. He believes the contacts he made there have allowed him to make the living he does today. I don't know. My dh has the type of personality that I think he could've made these types of contacts anywhere. KWIM?

 

I would not encourage a child of mine to attend Vassar (political differences). But, I wouldn't NOT allow it either. I'm glad I went. But, it was hard being in the minority politically. That, combined with the academics, made for a challenging college experience! (For the record, I did well! But, I studied VERY hard!)

[Annie]

My husband and I both graduated from the university ranked #39 three years ago with our undergrad degrees. My husband had originally wanted to go to MIT, and with his scores, I think he would have had quite a good chance of getting in, but in reality, he would have spent more for one year at MIT than it took to finish his degree at the school we ended up at.

 

Our school was ranked quite high in the specific majors we chose, and I think we got a great deal on our education. We are certainly better off right now, without any student loans and degrees from a "good" college, than we would be with $90,000 in debt and degrees from a "great" college.

 

My husband just finished his masters degree from a lower ranked university, but for his specialty, it was the school to pick.

 

As far as our future children go, we will encourage them to be mindful of the return on investment of their education. We both love learning for the sake of learning, but we will not be paying for art history degrees from Harvard, even if we could comfortably afford it. We plan to try to live in states with excellent public universities, and we will strongly urge our children to attend. We're currently living in VA, and the University of VA is ranked #24 on the list.

 

 

*I do think there are some specialties where the ROI from attending an expensive, private university is there. I think this is especially the case for certain graduate/professional degrees. I just don't think it's terribly common.

[MariannNOVA]

Yes (me) and Yes (dh) - The school is at the top of the list (up at the top)-- and funny things is, we didn't meet there OR meet because of the school. We were there years apart from each other. My older daughters introduced us.

 

Yes, we hope that our children will want to go there. One of my older dds could have but chose not to; the other older dd wanted to but buckled down and began achieving in high school too late to be considered for admission -- but both are happy and have done well.

 

Every child is different, every school is different........and, unfortunately, I think that it is too huge a decision for many 17 year olds to make....but the decision is ultimately theirs.

[gingersmom]

I went to a very well know/well respected university but it is not considered "elite".

 

Going to an "elite" school is not at the top of my list of priorities for my children.

 

I know people who have gone to the top 3 on that list and I know people who have gone to school at probably number 100 on the list.

 

The person from school rated #100 is doing way better financially than person from schools 1-3.

 

I am assuming you believe there is some correlation between going to an "elite" school and future financial success?

[Jan in SC]

I didn't. I went to a certain school to play a sport, but dh did until he transferred to be with me. (AW!) The entire rest of his family, on both sides, and for many generations, have gone to "those" schools.

 

Obviously, a school must have my dcs major! After that, yes, I do want them to go to a top school. I would prefer each went to a smaller college that is liberal arts oriented, but that will be his choice. (Only one of mine is a science/math minded child. He is also the athlete, so who knows??!!)

 

I have many, many friends that went to schools on both lists, and none of them have regretted it! That certainly doesn't mean others haven't, but our friends and family enjoyed every moment!

[theresatwist]

I went to an elite college. In high school I took classes at the community college. The community college had some absolutely wonderful professors from whom I learned a great deal! However, the average ability level of the other students at the community college was not nearly as high as it was at my university. It's not that there were no bright students, there were. But the average was much, much lower. Both the ceiling and floor were significantly lower. The best argument in my mind for an elite school is the quality of the other students. (You can find good teachers at most community colleges if you know how to look.) Sure there are some dummies at elite institutions, but I believe the average is significantly higher.

[mcconnellboys]

No, my husband and I both went to large state universities. We would like a better education for our son. My son has applied to mostly colleges that are in the top 50 (but not the top 25) of your liberal arts list. He has applied to one that is in the top 20 of your "elite" list, but that's a stretch.

 

We have been influenced more by the "Colleges that Change Lives" listings and the new listings of top universities in the south that came out recently.

[hsbeth]

Accepted at an Ivy, but ended up attending a non-elite school. I'm pleased with my decision as I ended up meeting hubs there:001_wub:.

 

We're not there yet, but our two older children (14 and 12) have talked in terms of attending 'solid', but not elite schools.

[dangermom]

for argument's sake, let's say the top 20 colleges in either of these lists:

 

Ouch. DH and I went to #21. :001_smile: But I'll give you my opinion anyway.

 

I loved my college, and if I thought that my kids could get in, I'd be thrilled. (A 4th generation at Cal! Oh, the glory!) But it's much harder to get in now than it was for us, just 15-20 years ago. And the tuition has skyrocketed. I don't want my kids to burn themselves out in high school trying to get into the perfect college or anything. BYU, with lower tuition and a good program, is looking better and better.

[Orthodox6]

I was graduated from one in the top 10. Send my dc there ? Not at the current sticker price of $39,000 per year for tuition and fees ! We don't even hallucinate about it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Both of us when to respected schools for our areas but not elite colleges. We'd like our kids to do something similar.

[annabanana1992]

I was accepted at Duke and Penn as well as two state schools (UVA and VT) to study engineering. I ended up choosing VT for no reason other than I could graduate with no debt. After graduation I went to work for DuPont, but was offered jobs at IBM, Exxon, and several large companies. I met another new hire a few weeks into my job at DuPont who went to an Ivy. All I could think was, we got the same job at the same level and I have no debt...

 

All that said.... I might have a hard time saying no to a DC who wanted to go to an elite school. Crazy, huh?

[Beth in OH]

No for dh and I, but my senior has applied to 4 national universities in the top 20. She is on the wait list at one, and we're waiting to hear from the other 3. Her first choice school is among the ones she's waiting on.

 

DD has the scores, transcript, extras to fit in the student profile of these schools. Nonetheless, they have so many qualified applicants, that she might not get into any of them.

 

Beth

[Spy Car]

Ouch. DH and I went to #21. :001_smile: But I'll give you my opinion anyway.

 

 

Go Bears!!!

 

Bill (who also went to Cal Berkeley)

[Corraleno]

I attended a small private LAC on a full-ride scholarship, then went to an elite school for graduate work, where most of my costs were covered by fellowships and research/teaching assistantships. I ended up with very little debt, and I'm very glad I chose that route, rather than going to an Ivy or other elite school for undergraduate studies.

 

I expect that both of my kids will go to the state uni in our city for undergrad. It has solid academic departments in DS's areas of interest, and it's essentially free for state residents (tuition is paid by the Lottery Scholarship Fund). Then he can apply the money saved towards an elite school for his PhD. I doubt either of my kids would be interested in a small LAC like the one I attended ~ it was good for me at the time (especially with a full scholarship), but I wouldn't recommend it to my kiddoes.

 

Jackie

[CalicoKat]

Yes. I don't know.

 

I wonder what college will look like in the future. Affording a college is going to be the biggest question.

 

If a 4 year college is the goal. Then DH and I are going to encourage a 2 year community college at first and then a transfer to the school of their choice.

 

Affordability is the key.

[lauracolumbus]

I think it depends on your dc's majors/need for grad school plans. DH and I both went to good state schools for undergrad, but he was selected as a Rhodes Scholar and was soon studying w/the nation's elite. He very clearly sees the advantages of an elite education. The lifelong connections is one very important advantage. And it is much easier to get a job when you have Yale on your resume (although not guaranteed).

 

I was in the legal profession and where you went to law school was critical. And to get into a good law school you needed to go to a good undergrad school. However, there were plenty of us who got prestigious jobs w/o having gone to an elite school. Having said that there were a lot more of 'them' (elite grads) who got great jobs. Yes, debt is an issue. But amortized over a lifetime, I would bet that both the financial rewards and other rewards would be significant.

 

So, if my kids did get accepted (knock on wood), I would be very happy (and figure I could go back to work at that point to pay for it). I would not be happy to pay private school tuition at a less than elite school (unless there was another really good reason to). Then we would be talking about the value of a good state college education.

 

Laura

[Deidre in GA]

another Vassar grad here. i would love for my son to be the kind of kid who would thrive in that environment but he isn't. he is who he is and will find the college that suits his personality.

[OrganicAnn]

I went to a school that was rank in the 40s. High enough that I received a good education. I expect my DD to go to a good college or university. It may ranked high or lower than the one I went to. I think if it fits what she wants to do, that's okay. My DH dropped out of a fairly high ranked program. I don't think the overall school is that highly ranked.

 

I went to a top 20 MBA program also.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

:bigear:

 

I graduated from the Naval Academy*. DH attended a state school that is typically on the lists of "public ivies."

 

I intend to present my kids the opportunities to prepare themselves for a school like these if they have the apptitude and interest.

 

But I'm also more and more convinced that many elite schools are resting on the reputation of a generation ago and that they may or may not really provide an education now that is worth the cost.

 

I want my kids to get something worthwhile out of their college education. That might be a broad liberal arts education. It might be engineering or science. It will not be four years of drinking, protesting, viewing p*rn as alternate literature or training them to be contemptious of the society that created the opportunities they are taking advantage of.

 

*Service academies tend not to go onto these lists, perhaps because they can't compare tuition rates and endowments or because they don't know how to quantify the cost of a service committment. However the academies pull from the same student applicant pool as elite schools.

[SusanAR]

Dh's degree is from Baylor; mine are from state schools. Ds will go to a state school for undergrad and then out of state for vet degree. Dd is undecided.

 

 

A friend of ours tells the story about his time as a JAG in the navy. Several were talking about where they recieved their degrees (all elite schools) and how much they owed in student loans. They asked him where he recieved his law degree. He told them U of A. They asked how much he owed in student loans; he said, "Nothing". Finally someone said, "Wow, and we have the same job with the same pay."

 

If mmy dc recieved scholarships to an elite school, that would be great, but I would not want them to graduate deeply in debt.

[creekland]

Hubby went to a school that was/is in the top 10 in his major - but it's not considered elite overall. I went to the same school just because I liked it. It was #2 on my list, but we couldn't afford my #1. I'm glad I went to #2 - I met hubby there!

 

And for our kids, we want the same. We want them going to a top school in their major that fits them. Considering there are options for top schools within ones major, we'll then pick based on fit, location, and finances. My oldest will be going to what we feel is the #1 school in his major next year and it's not anywhere on those lists, but those top 20 wouldn't give him as good of an education in what he wants to do, so why go to them - for the name?

 

It does matter to us if it's good in their major. Hubby's an engineer and has met engineers from "not as highly ranked" colleges. They don't know as much to be honest. That said, it certainly doesn't need to be "elite," just "elite within the field."

 

And... I'll admit I was bummed when I came to the conclusion that best choices for my boys was not going to be where hubby and I went. I had kind of just planned they would go there in "my" mind. I had to get over it and see what was best for them.

[Crimson Wife]

Go Bears!!!

 

Bill (who also went to Cal Berkeley)

 

To which this Cardinal replies:

Give 'em the axe, the axe, the axe!Give 'em the axe, the axe, the axe!Give 'em the axe, give 'em the axe,Give 'em the axe, where? Right in the neck, the neck, the neck!Right in the neck, the neck, the neck!Right in the neck, right in the neck,Right in the neck! There! :boxing_smiley:

[dangermom]

Hey, that's our song! Silly people, with your tree mascot. :D Besides, I think we have the Axe at the moment, do we not?

[Spy Car]

Hey, that's our song!

 

I think we stole the song :D

 

The Axe too!

 

Silly people, with your tree mascot. :D

 

They are not really even "Cardinals", that's the PC-name :tongue_smilie:

 

Besides, I think we have the Axe at the moment, do we not?

 

Darn tooting! :001_smile:

 

Bill

[Crimson Wife]

In my family, the expectations were always to attend a "name brand" college. Virtually all of my relatives are graduates of one. Not getting accepted to a top 30 school was seen as tantamount to failure. :rolleyes:

 

I don't regret going to an elite college since that's where I met DH. But I do think they're overrated. They're basically a country club with a six figure price tag. The value lies not in the coursework (which is often mediocre) but rather in the social connections made...

[Joker]

My dh went to Berkeley. My older dd so wants to go but we now live on the other side of the country so I don't think we can pull that off. Everytime we go back for a visit to California she talks about how this is where she'll be. I don't expect it for her but I think my dh hopes she goes.

[Crimson Wife]

They are not really even "Cardinals", that's the PC-name :tongue_smilie:

 

I'm WAAAAAAAAY to young to be a Stanford "Indian". The name change happened half a decade before I was born!

 

Apparently, the student body had voted during the whole controversy to choose the name the "Robber Barons". However, the administration deemed that disrespectful to the school's founder. :glare:

[MommyRyan]

DH and I both attended Georgetown undergrad. DH attended Harvard business. We hope that our dc will attend "elite" universities, as they will be attending boarding school for a post graduate year for that purpose.

 

I don't necessarily think the rank of a college has anything to do with the education received, but the networking and job/grad school placement is affected quite a bit. We just want our children to have choices.

 

That being said, I would be fine with dc attending a state university. The only expectation is four year college.

[MariannNOVA]

DH and I both attended Georgetown undergrad. DH attended Harvard business. We hope that our dc will attend "elite" universities, as they will be attending boarding school for a post graduate year for that purpose.

 

I don't necessarily think the rank of a college has anything to do with the education received, but the networking and job/grad school placement is affected quite a bit. We just want our children to have choices.

 

That being said, I would be fine with dc attending a state university. The only expectation is four year college.

 

Excellent plan -- my sister and her dh did that with their dd#1 (she is an opera major at Juilliard); niece #2 is in a boarding school two hours west of Boston (Simon Schrock ? or something like that) -- do not know where she is planning on attending college. But, it's a plan that has merits! Oh, and my sister did attend an Ivy league school - her husband did as well.

Edited March 21, 2010 by MariannNOVA

[3littlekeets]

DH and I both attended Georgetown undergrad. DH attended Harvard business. We hope that our dc will attend "elite" universities, as they will be attending boarding school for a post graduate year for that purpose.

 

I don't necessarily think the rank of a college has anything to do with the education received, but the networking and job/grad school placement is affected quite a bit. We just want our children to have choices.

 

That being said, I would be fine with dc attending a state university. The only expectation is four year college.

 

 

May I ask a question? Given that applications are due early as early as November and most deadlines for elite schools are in January or February, how does only 1 year at a bs help? The child will only be at the school for 4 or 5 months, which is not nearly enough time for strong letters of rec from teachers. So, just trying to learn...what are the other benefits of doing this; I'm intrigued:D

[Dinsfamily]

Dh and I both went to top 20 colleges and dh went to a top 5 grad school. We don't expect or hope that our dc would follow that path. It's a great route, but not the only one. We do suspect that our oldest is heading in that direction, but a lot can change in the next 12 years. It would be nice if one or more of our dc decided to attend one of our schools for many reasons, but only if it's the right choice for them.

[MariannNOVA]

May I ask a question? Given that applications are due early as early as November and most deadlines for elite schools are in January or February, how does only 1 year at a bs help? The child will only be at the school for 4 or 5 months, which is not nearly enough time for strong letters of rec from teachers. So, just trying to learn...what are the other benefits of doing this; I'm intrigued:D

 

Good question: My niece who is in Juilliard did a post-senior year at a prestigious music and arts school b/s - she was recommended for admission there by an instructor she had at a performing arts summer program she attended. The fact that she had even been admitted to the b/s spoke volumes on her application to Juilliard.

 

I suppose it can be described not as doing another year of high school, but doing a year at a level that is more in line with what the elite school would demand of a student.

 

Hope that helps --

[3andme]

Both DH and I went to Ivies as well as both of our mothers. I always thought I would encourage my children to go as well but frankly given the high cost of tuition now, I just don't think it's worth it.

 

Unless dc has a passion for something unique that's not offered elsewhere or gets significant financial aid, I think they would be better off going to a less expensive state school and saving the money to go to an elite graduate school. I do think it's still worth it at the grad level for the job connections and higher starting salaries.

[MBM]

Dh and I both went to schools in the Top 20 lists, but there are many excellent schools that are not on those lists. Dh went to USMA, Cooper Union, and finished his MBA and PhD at U of Chicago. His toughest and favorite school was Coop-Coop-Coop, Cooper Union. All of his education was free.

 

I went to Notre Dame and Northwestern U. I had about $40K in debt which was a lot back then.

 

We believe that it's the last school attended that matters most and that buckling down and concentrating on studies will help grads get good jobs. Regarding what our kids have done (two eldest are done with college), both received full-ride scholarships to schools in the Top 20 lists for which I am very grateful!

 

Although I secretly wish he'd go to Deep Springs, the last one at this point would probably like Harvey Mudd if he could get in. His sister did and was even flown out there by HM, so maybe some of her good luck will rub off on him.

 

Figuring out what to do after college is the hard part. :tongue_smilie:

[Heather in Neverland]

darn...mine was #27. :D

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Well, I went to a Canadian university and they are not ranked in the same way. I have no clue how well the one I attended is considered, but I do know that to be accepted there was no big deal. To graduate from it was considered elite. It has a graduation rate of less than 50%. And it's meant that way. They will let almost everyone try as long as you have the required courses (this is an engineering school, so lots of sciences and maths are required, which makes a first filter). On our first day at the university, the dean had a presentation. One of his point was 'Look at the person on your left, look at the person on your right. Only one of the three of you will be at graduation night in four years" . Talk about pressure ! LOL...

 

But at 2,000$cnd/year, instead of 40,000$US/yr I'll take my local university,

thankyou.