Audrey Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 I have this sister-in-law (who just called a little while ago) who laughs at me for only being on my first marriage. :confused: She claims most women she knows are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage. I just don't think that can be right. Even if, statistically, half of marriages end in divorce, that isn't a remarriage rate. Or is it? Maybe I'm missing something there. Anyway, it bothers me because my brother is her second husband, and this is his first (and as far as he's concerned) his only marriage. He's even adopted her children as his own. I know she could be joking, but if she is, it sure is hard to tell sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teragram Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 One spouse is plenty for me. I made a commitment "...until we are parted by death..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 One is enough for me as well. After 28 years (next week) with the same man, I simply cannot imagine being married to anyone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 That's kind of a weird attitude. Huh. BTW, the divorce rate has been falling for the past several years. Not a whole lot or anything, but the "50%" thing is no longer accurate. And one thing to note about that statistic is that it doesn't mean that 50% of people will get divorced--since second and third, etc. marriages are more likely to end in divorce, people who go through several marriages drive that number up. (For example, I had a friend whose mother was on her 4th and father was on his 3rd. Which made something like 6 marriages among 7 people.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneGabe Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 I've only been married once (still married). Surpisingly to me, considering the statistics of divorce, most people I know have only been married once and have stayed with their spouse. Even so, it's totally bizarre that your sister-in-law laughs about you being on your first marriage. It's the laughing about it part that I find weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jmh45881 Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 It's possible that most people SHE knows ARE known for multiple marriages, if that is the "culture" she grew up in. I use the word culture here very specifically ... I don't mean "in general," as in her city, state, or country. But the people she specifically grew up with ... relatives and friends and friends of friends, etc. If that is the standard in those circles, it might be what she's accostumed to. In the meantime, she might suddenly be realizing that multiple marriages is NOT the standard everywhere, and is starting conversations now that open the door to being encouraged to stick out the tough parts of a marriage in order to stay married. Maybe her eyes and mind are opening to "another way." Maybe you have the opportunity to be the encouragement someone else is looking for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 I'm on my first and only marriage. Dh feels the same way. We're 12.5 years into this and it's only getting better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Just one, thank you. And I'm still crazy, head over heels in love with him. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 I'm on my second marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 I have/had 1 spouse. We have been separated for 8 years but we are still legally married so I have not been able move on to a new spouse yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eaglei Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 First - married 34 years this past June. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 I've only been married once. It's been nine years . . . most of them great.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 (edited) I was married to my older son's dad just shy of 4 years when we divorced. I have been married to current dh for almost 7 years. I wish I could have done it right the first time. It was hard for me to choose divorce, but in the end, there was just no other option. I actually admire folks who stay married to one person. I can't imagine why your SIL would find that funny! Edited September 13, 2009 by Tree House Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Married once & still married. But my mom was my dad's 4th wife. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Married once & still married. But my mom was my dad's 4th wife. :glare: My dad is currently in the process of divorce with his 4th wife. My mom divorced her 3rd husband when I was 14 (and he was AFTER my dad)! :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 My dad is currently in the process of divorce with his 4th wife. My mom divorced her 3rd husband when I was 14 (and he was AFTER my dad)! :001_huh: I never knew any of my dad's other wives. My mom was his last wife & he never had any other kids. My dad's sil once said to me that when he brought my mom around, dad's family said to each other --- She seems like a nice girl from a nice family. Why in the world is she with him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted September 13, 2009 Author Share Posted September 13, 2009 I've only been married once (still married). Surpisingly to me, considering the statistics of divorce, most people I know have only been married once and have stayed with their spouse. Even so, it's totally bizarre that your sister-in-law laughs about you being on your first marriage. It's the laughing about it part that I find weird. Yes. It is weird. And, very uncomfortable. I mean, what does one say to that without creating drama? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 One is enough for me as well. After 28 years (next week) with the same man, I simply cannot imagine being married to anyone else. Happy Anniversary!! :hurray: :party: One is enough for me too!! :) I think two would be the death of me! hehehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyrooch Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Just one. My dh and I have been married for 13 years now and I find that I love him more and more everyday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 That's kind of a weird attitude. Huh. BTW, the divorce rate has been falling for the past several years. Not a whole lot or anything, but the "50%" thing is no longer accurate. And one thing to note about that statistic is that it doesn't mean that 50% of people will get divorced--since second and third, etc. marriages are more likely to end in divorce, people who go through several marriages drive that number up. (For example, I had a friend whose mother was on her 4th and father was on his 3rd. Which made something like 6 marriages among 7 people.) However, if a remarriage is a first marriage for one spouse, the stats are the same as that of a first marriage for both spouses. I don't think I explained that very well, but it's the situation I'm in. This is my first--and only, as far as I'm concerned--marriage but not my husband's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 I have this sister-in-law (who just called a little while ago) who laughs at me for only being on my first marriage. :confused: She claims most women she knows are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage. I just don't think that can be right. Even if, statistically, half of marriages end in divorce, that isn't a remarriage rate. Or is it? Maybe I'm missing something there. Anyway, it bothers me because my brother is her second husband, and this is his first (and as far as he's concerned) his only marriage. He's even adopted her children as his own. I know she could be joking, but if she is, it sure is hard to tell sometimes. Making fun of someone for being on her first marriage is just bizarre. Maybe it's more normal than I think, though. A few months ago a caller to a radio show said her mother (who'd had several marriages herself) advised her to marry the first time for money and plan on marrying again for love. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 The other day I was waiting for dh to come start watching a movie with me, and I happened to see a few minutes of a wedding dress buying show on TLC. There was one family where the mom and daughter couldn't agree, and the mom said in the interview something about how she wanted her daughter to look "at her first wedding". I did a double take. Her *first*?!? Surely we aren't already *planning* for our *children* to have multiple marriages?!? Or maybe she just really hated her soon-to-be son-in-law... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 The other day I was waiting for dh to come start watching a movie with me, and I happened to see a few minutes of a wedding dress buying show on TLC. There was one family where the mom and daughter couldn't agree, and the mom said in the interview something about how she wanted her daughter to look "at her first wedding". I did a double take. Her *first*?!? Surely we aren't already *planning* for our *children* to have multiple marriages?!? Or maybe she just really hated her soon-to-be son-in-law... Yowzer!!!! :glare: I'm on my first. Plan to stay that way!! Sometimes it's hard work!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 "Just" one, lol, but I was engaged to my oldest son's father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 One and tomorrow is our 24th anniversary spent mostly apart since my dh is travelling to Texas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 I'm on my first (and only). We'll be married 15 years in November. We married relatively young, I was 23 he had just turned 21. All of our friends made bets that we wouldn't last more than 3 years. I think it's time to collect on those bets, huh? :o) It hasn't always been fun or easy but it's always been worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 I was engaged to another man and broke it off 2 weeks before the wedding. When I was telling a new colleague about what all that entails (sending out un-invitations, returning shower gifts, canceling caterers, etc, she said, "I would have just gotten married, then divorced him later.":confused: This is the first marriage for both dh and I, but we have 3 previous engagements between us.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I'm still on my first marriage and hope to be for a long time to come. :001_wub: We've been married 15 years and together for 18 years next month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Yowzer!!!! :glare: I'm on my first. Plan to stay that way!! Sometimes it's hard work!!! No kidding; one is enough, thank you very much. Even if something were to happen to dh (heaven forbid, but if...), or something goes terribly awry, I do not foresee another actual marriage in my future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 We're not married and never will be, but neither of us have ever been in any other marriage/de facto relationship, so I voted one :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I think she was being rude. I wouldn't act like that, and I'm on my 2nd marriage. I've known 2 couples who have only been married to one another. My ex-husband's parents were married for about 50 years until they died. My aunt and uncle have been married for about 35 years. I've always seen divorce as a very common thing, so I'm surprised by the results of the poll. But in a pleasant way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I have this sister-in-law (who just called a little while ago) who laughs at me for only being on my first marriage. :confused: She claims most women she knows are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage. I just don't think that can be right. Even if, statistically, half of marriages end in divorce, that isn't a remarriage rate. Or is it? Maybe I'm missing something there. No, you are right. Half of the marriages end in divorce but that doesn't mean half of the people will get divorced, some people marry over and over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 One spouse, married for 17 years this October. I don't plan on getting a new one anytime soon. This one's broken in! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marylou Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I married into a this family: in-laws will celebrate 65 years next March sister has been married 43 brother and his wife 38 other brother 29 and dh and I almost 19 grandchildren all still married to original spouses gret-grand children are too little to marry! We all get along with each other and love to be together! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2a&z Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 This is my first (and only) marriage and my dh's third. When we first started dating he didn't tell me he had been married twice before. He had a 5yo dd, so I just assumed he had one previous marriage. After about 2 or 3 months of dating, we were looking at some of his old pictures and I saw a small one of a wedding that was out of focus and taken from far away. I couldn't make out any faces and asked him whose wedding it was. I had already seen wedding pictures from his wedding to his dd's mother, so I knew it wasn't from that wedding. When he said his first....well I just about fell out of my chair. I had to think long and hard about whether I wanted to continue dating him. He said he didn't tell me at the beginning of our relationship because he was ashamed of going through two divorces. After many discussions and prayers I realized that he wasn't the same person who had made those mistakes and I should give him a chance. We just celebrated our 15th anniversary yesterday! :hurray: BTW - My parents still don't know that he was married twice before. :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill- OK Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 (edited) .... Nevermind. Thought better of it, and deleted my post. Sorry! .... Edited September 14, 2009 by Jill, OK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 One. That's plenty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Well poo dratted touch screen I think I voted 3+ husbands when all I meant to do was move the page up. I've only been married ONE time -16 years so far and hope to live long enough for at least 60. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 One here. No plans to break in another one. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Only one for me but I'm DH's second. He's stuck with me forever though and we're both happy with that. Of course, we've been married less than a year so we're still honeymooners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 One. And today we are married 24 years. ~~Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 One, 10 1/2 years. This is his second marriage. I would never laugh at anyone for "only being on their first marriage". I think it's great and more people should aim for only having one marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 One, a little over 7 years now. My parents however have 7 marriages between them. (My mother is on her 3rd and my father is on his 4th. Of course, my mother has been married to her current dh for almost 20 years and my father has been married to his current dw for 12. I'm hoping these will stick :D) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I have been with my man since I was 19 - 2 years engaged and 13 years married - and I'm not planning on another husband anytime soon :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I'm still on my first marriage (almost 27 years), but my mil is on her 3rd marriage.....however.......she has had NO divorces; her dh's all died. So, wouldn't that mess with the stats, lol! Or....would it? One her dh's was a 'first and only', but the other two guys she married had all divorced once. Hmmm......glad I'm not a statistician. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Well poo dratted touch screenI think I voted 3+ husbands when all I meant to do was move the page up. :001_smile: I was wondering if anyone would 'fess up to the lone over 3 vote! I guess that probably explains it. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 One. And today we are married 24 years. ~~Faithe :party: Congrats, and best wishes for another 24! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Only 1. Dh and I have been together for 18 years :0) and I still like him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I have this sister-in-law (who just called a little while ago) who laughs at me for only being on my first marriage. :confused: She claims most women she knows are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage. I just don't think that can be right. Even if, statistically, half of marriages end in divorce, that isn't a remarriage rate. Or is it? Maybe I'm missing something there. Anyway, it bothers me because my brother is her second husband, and this is his first (and as far as he's concerned) his only marriage. He's even adopted her children as his own. I know she could be joking, but if she is, it sure is hard to tell sometimes. This is my one and only marriage...22 years and very happy. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat19 Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 When I was in my teen years I always said I'm getting married one time and that's it. I got married when I was 19 and have been married for 14 years :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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