Putting a dog down been there done that advice?

[mommyoffive]

Does anyone have advice about putting a dog down?  Things you wish you would have done differently?  Before hand? After? 

It is looking like this is what is happening for our older dog. Instead of doing it today I think we are going to schedule a day for it.  

[WildflowerMom]

I wish I’d given mine a Hershey kiss while we were waiting on the vet to come in.   I read somewhere later that some places give the dog a piece of chocolate since chocolate is such a no-no for dogs.   I am also glad we brought mine home and buried them here.   Take a box large enough, if you plan to do that.  The vet doesn’t always have the right size box laying around.    I took their favorite blankie and wrapped them and buried them in it.   

[WildflowerMom]

Also, some vets will come to your house and do it.  

[saraha]

Aw, I’m sorry

[Kassia]

I'm sorry, too.  It's so hard.  😞 

[ScoutTN]

So sorry!!! (((Mommyoffive and family))) 

It is so hard! Our kids were little last time this happened to us. Dh buried the yellow lab in my avatar pic in our back yard. We made a stepping stone (from Michael’s) to go on her grave and the kids helped me plant a bunch of yellow perennials in that spot. We wrapped her in the blanket that had lined her crate.

Edited January 24, 2023 by ScoutTN

[Pawz4me]

It depends somewhat on the dog and the condition he/she is in. If having it done at the vet's office I like to get some type of anti-anxiety/tranquilizing type medication to give an hour or two before leaving home if the vet will agree. I've also had home euthanasia done and that was (as much as is possible) a good experience, but it can depend on what else is going on in the home (other pets, kids, etc.). Hugs. We're almost certainly going to be dealing with it for one of ours in the next few weeks. It's hard.

[Indigo Blue]

Hugs @mommyoffiveand @Pawz4me.

I am truly sorry. 

[stephanier.1765]

I am so sorry! Even when you know it's coming, it still deals a huge emotional blow. We also have a pet graveyard in our yard and each one is buried with their favorite toy. I don't know how to make it better other than not waiting until it's too late. Better a little early than a little late. I think I was in denial with our old dog. Sure she was having a hard time moving around but, hey, she was moving. Then one morning, she just wasn't there any more. Still alive but no real part of my girl was still there. I would give anything to have done that differently.

[Terabith]

I'm so sorry.  I haven't been there with a dog, but I have with two cats, and I have a lot of regrets.  

I regret that on both occasions, I had to put them in the car and take them somewhere that they hated as one of the last things I did with them.  I wish so, so, so much that I could have had a vet come to our house, but it simply wasn't available as an option in our area for the first cat, and while an at home service had been established before my second cat's demise, with covid, they weren't doing it.  

That's really my main regret.  With the first cat, by the time we realized it was time, there weren't really things she reliably loved anymore.  I couldn't find her favorite toy when the time came, or I would have taken it with us for her.  With my second cat, we did give her all the food/ treats/ activities she loved in the last few days.  With my second cat, though, we had to wait a long time in the waiting room of the vet's office with her in a carrier (stressful for her), and then the vet told us she would take her back to put in an iv and that when they brought her back she would be sleepy and they would give her the final shot while she was in my arms.  

But, when they brought her back, she was not sleepy/ groggy; she was deeply unconscious.  So her last conscious moments were with strangers.  I'm very, very sad and angry with myself that I didn't tell the vet no, that everything needed to be done while I was holding her.  

We took both cats home and buried them, partly because it was so much cheaper than cremation.  I'm not sure that was the best choice with our second cat, because it was a crazy time (we euthanized her slightly before we might have otherwise because my oldest was going to college later that week and wanted to be with the cat) and very hot, and grave digging is really hard, physical, time consuming work.  But we got it done.  

Edited January 24, 2023 by Terabith

[prairiewindmomma]

I am sorry you are in this situation.

On a….difficult and awkward…practical note, based on our own experience in winter, give thought as to whether a shovel will break soil this time of year in your yard if you are thinking of home burial. Cremation may be a better option. It adds to the injury to lose a beloved pet and then having difficulties with burial.

[mommyoffive]

1 minute ago, prairiewindmomma said:

I am sorry you are in this situation.

On a….difficult and awkward…practical note, based on our own experience in winter, give thought as to whether a shovel will break soil this time of year in your yard if you are thinking of home burial. Cremation may be a better option. It adds to the injury to lose a beloved pet and then having difficulties with burial.

Yes, I thought of this.  We are getting some cold weather next week and I am sure the ground will be frozen.  I don't even know if you can do this in the city.  

[mommyoffive]

19 minutes ago, stephanier.1765 said:

I am so sorry! Even when you know it's coming, it still deals a huge emotional blow. We also have a pet graveyard in our yard and each one is buried with their favorite toy. I don't know how to make it better other than not waiting until it's too late. Better a little early than a little late. I think I was in denial with our old dog. Sure she was having a hard time moving around but, hey, she was moving. Then one morning, she just wasn't there any more. Still alive but no real part of my girl was still there. I would give anything to have done that differently.

Thank you for saying that even though it is so hard for me to hear.  I swore we wouldn't be the dog owners to hold on to their dog when their quality of life is gone.  But then I am just thinking maybe this isn't it.  Maybe we just keep on all the meds for her kidneys even though she isn't getting better.   I know it is time, I just don't want it to be. Her kidneys are failing.  She has lost 20lbs in the last 2 years.  She has had seizures.  Vomiting. Pee accidents.  4-5 days before we got her to the vet just not herself. Not eating or drinking.  Vomiting.  Walking around and not mentally being there.  She has a hard time walking sometimes and falls.  Panic attacks.  She doesn't enjoy much day to day.  She has changed a lot in the last 2 years.  

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

We went from thinking our dog was fine in the morning with maybe a leg injury to discovering he had bone cancer throughout his body in the afternoon to putting him down in the evening.  There was never any signs of suffering, but the vet said he was in a lot of pain and we didn’t want to selfishly prolong it.

He was only 8 which for a golden retriever is really young and we were so unprepared.

I wish we’d taken more pictures of him and the kids his whole life.  I wish maybe we’d been able to push it off a few days and spend some really good time doing all his favorite things, but we felt that would be for us and not for him.  We brought him home, fed him his favorite foods, cried a lot, and took him back to the vet.

The vet did a paw print on plaster of Paris for us, and that was nice.  We let them dispose of the body, as everything else was so expensive and the ground was frozen.

[ScoutTN]

33 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

I am sorry you are in this situation.

On a….difficult and awkward…practical note, based on our own experience in winter, give thought as to whether a shovel will break soil this time of year in your yard if you are thinking of home burial. Cremation may be a better option. It adds to the injury to lose a beloved pet and then having difficulties with burial.

This is wise. Our experience was in spring, in very damp soil, the top two feet of which were a garden bed. Size of pet matters too.

[Indigo Blue]

26 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

Thank you for saying that even though it is so hard for me to hear.  I swore we wouldn't be the dog owners to hold on to their dog when their quality of life is gone.  But then I am just thinking maybe this isn't it.  Maybe we just keep on all the meds for her kidneys even though she isn't getting better.   I know it is time, I just don't want it to be. Her kidneys are failing.  She has lost 20lbs in the last 2 years.  She has had seizures.  Vomiting. Pee accidents.  4-5 days before we got her to the vet just not herself. Not eating or drinking.  Vomiting.  Walking around and not mentally being there.  She has a hard time walking sometimes and falls.  Panic attacks.  She doesn't enjoy much day to day.  She has changed a lot in the last 2 years.  

I’ve had several kidney failure pets. I’m not sure I did it at the exact best time. It’s hard. But all you described sounds so much like what things were like when it was time for mine. You don’t need to second guess yourself. If you’re already seeing these things now, it won’t get better. One vet wanted me to keep propping mine up with fluids and b12 shots. And that worked for just awhile. But I think it’s probably time, and you know it, too. The owner usually does know, and I think you know you are at that place. 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

It's been 9 months for me and those memories are so clear.

On the days leading up to his appt. we had our DGD come spend time with him. We took him to his favorite place to run, she gave him treats, and his final bath. She stayed with him while he slept and just loved on him and told him how great he was.

The day of, my DS came down and the three of us spent time together. We bought him a big juicy steak and let him eat off the special occasion plates. We took him for a final car ride and let DS's best friends say good-bye.

I took his favorite blanket to the clinic and wrapped it around the table. My DS and I each held onto him with me looking him right in the eye. I wanted him to know I was there until the end. We stayed with him afterward and just wept.

We opted to have him cremated as burying large dogs in private yards is prohibited in our community. The mortuary took a plaster cast of his paw print and sent that to us along with his ashes (which are in a tin canister).

What I am glad I did:

asked about final expenses when I realized he was in his final year of life. I was able to save up for it and able to pay for it without having to worry about the budget. I didn't want that stress on top of grief.

had DGD spend alone time with him. They were special buddies and she needed that closure.

did not have DGD come with us to the vet. She is so tender hearted and was already grieving. It would have been too much for her.

I think we chose to do it at the right time. Three weeks earlier he was still able to walk a mile, eat, and smile. And then he could barely make it to the corner. If we would have waited any longer, he wouldn't have been able to do anything and I didn't want that for him.

took his blanket with all of our scents on it. Since we were there, it probably was silly but knowing he was wrapped in it while being cremated brings me some comfort.

--

And now I'm a mess. I loved that dog and miss him more than I thought I would.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

34 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

<snip>

I wish we’d taken more pictures of him and the kids his whole life.

<snip>

This. I have so few pictures of my dog when he was a puppy or young and vibrant. 

Most of my pics are from 9-15 yo.

[shawthorne44]

Our dog knew that she was almost killed at the shelter.   So, every time we took her to the vet or to board or move she thought we are taking her to die.  When the time came I just could not stand the thought that the last time, she'd be right.   

So we wanted to do it at home.   A Tractor Supply employee told me of a vet that comes to your home.  That was the absolute best option.   She died in our living room with us around her.   DH buried her in the back yard.  If we'd chosen, she would have taken our dog with her.  

One thing the FAQ on her website pointed out.   Your vet doesn't like to do that.  They know you and they know your pet.   I remember the vet crying when my parent's sweet dog was put down.  
 

[KatieJ]

Save his tags!

 

We buried our beloved dog in the backyard under some pine trees. Years later, his dog tag was found sitting on the ground  about 20 feet away. We all cried and then I had it added to a custom necklace my friend was making for my daughter for her birthday. She always considered him her dog, (but I was the one he followed around) but she was married and living in another state by then. She loved it.

[MercyA]

Things I would do differently:

*Decide what I was going to say (or not say) to my dog ahead of time. I wish I had just been silent or said "good boy" over and over--instead my tone of voice probably betrayed my upset to him. 

*Had it done at home if possible. I just had a very young child home at the time, and I'd never had a dog put asleep before, and I was worried something would go wrong. But he was so fearful at the vet.

Things I would do the same:

*Have him cremated. I like having his ashes near and being able to move them with me if necessary. 

I am so very sorry. It's so hard, I know. Hugs to you and to @Pawz4me.

[Kela]

I'm so sorry. What a hard thing to go through! My mom has had to put a couple of dogs down, and she always took them to their favorite spot one last time and fed them a really good meal of steak or whatnot. The thing she regrets and still grieves over to this day is that she waited so long. She sees more now how they were suffering more than she realized at the time and she has a lot of guilt over that. I am sorry, it is so hard.

[fraidycat]

Not a dog, but cats. It's so hard to make that decision and time it perfectly, but I think it was here on the Hive that someone shared "better a week too soon than a day too late". It rings so true because with one of our cats (in my avatar), her appt. was to be 11:00 in the morning and she passed 11:00 the night before. It was not a quick process and was heartwrenching to witness. We've had another die at home before we even thought it was time to make that call. His was a little faster than hers, but it was very recognizable once it was happening and still not instantaneous. 😢😢

Here is one checklist to help you make the decision. This isn't the one I was searching for but probably has the same information.

https://cloud9vets.co.uk/when-to-put-your-dog-down-checklist/

 

ETA: I'm sorry you have to make this decision. Big hugs.

Edited January 25, 2023 by fraidycat

[Clarita]

I've had a cat euthanized before. Hands down suggest finding a vet who would do it in your house. I don't know if it's the same for every pet, but part of our euthanization process they give the pet a heavy dose of pain killers (1st shot), so for a pet who has been hurting for some time you may get a brief moment where they are back to their old selves again. It's super nice to enjoy a last few minutes with them in a space that they love being their best self. Then the vet can administer the 2nd shot, which takes them away. 

It meant a great deal for us to have our cat be able to spend her last moments in her favorite spot.   

[Brittany1116]

I am so sorry. We lost our dog suddenly almost a year ago. The best option was to put her down once we got diagnosed at the emergency vet. My advice:

take photos of doggy in a good mood if possible, and with the family

make a clay paw print (the animal hospital did this as a token for me)

keep her tags and/or collar

wrap her in a blanket as others suggested

[Ting Tang]

I’m so very sorry.  I got my dogs’ urns and prints. That was important to me. It’s the hardest part of having pets. 

[Kassia]

4 hours ago, fraidycat said:

Not a dog, but cats. It's so hard to make that decision and time it perfectly, but I think it was here on the Hive that someone shared "better a week too soon than a day too late". It rings so true because with one of our cats (in my avatar), her appt. was to be 11:00 in the morning and she passed 11:00 the night before. It was not a quick process and was heartwrenching to witness. We've had another die at home before we even thought it was time to make that call. His was a little faster than hers, but it was very recognizable once it was happening and still not instantaneous. 😢😢

 

This happened to us with one of our cats.  We waited too long to bring her in and deeply regretted it because she suffered.  She was terrified of the car and the vet and we knew it would be traumatizing for her to be brought in but waiting prolonged her suffering. It still haunts me many years later.  And she died on Christmas Eve day.  

 

[easypeasy]

Oh, it's so hard. I'm so sorry. It's just so so so hard.

You're doing the right thing by taking action vs. waiting indefinitely, I think.

Our boy had several health issues that had been balanced by medication but, eventually, he started to get doggy Alzheimer's (dog dementia? I don't know...).  😞 When he no longer took comfort in "his" human's arms, we knew it was time. Like, if that child's arms couldn't comfort him anymore, then he was ready to go from this world.

Even knowing that, it was hard.

We spent the day mostly together. The kids were home and gave him a bath, blow dried his fur, and I don't think his feet hit the ground the entire day. LOTS of pictures. Lots of tears.

We had him cremated and have a little box now that I keep in the front room with some pictures and his little dog tags. We also had the clay paw print made and his human keeps that with them at college.

I'm gonna go cry a little now. Man, I miss that dog. But, I am equally relieved that he is no longer scared and in pain. He deserved the world and - at that time - that meant we had to let him go, even though we really really really didn't want to.

{{hugs}}

[Melissa in Australia]

Hugs

Our dog passed away yesterday he was 12..it was pretty sad. I am not a dog person and I still find it pretty sad

[Slache]

Before they stop their heart they should give them something to make them sleep. Some vets skip this and some charge more, but I have seen dogs completely panic when they are awake for the passing itself. It's horrendous. Make sure they put your poor baby to sleep first.

[Pippen]

I had a cat with a longer fur that had to be put down due to an unexpected health emergency. For some reason I wound up with a clipping of fur, which I saved until a breezy spring day--a day that he would have loved outside. I went out and tossed it around our yard where the nesting building birds might find it. 

[JustEm]

So sorry you are going through this. We had to put one of our dogs down last year and it sucked. My number one advice, as someone who used to work at a veterinary hospital, please stay with your dog during the process. So, many people had us take their dog in the back to do it without them present and it broke my heart every time

[I talk to the trees]

Ok, so I have resisted even opening this thread because I knew that as soon as I did I would be a weeping, blubbing mess. But I wanted to reply because I know from experience that having people rally around you and support you - even if it is “imaginary friends” on the internet- is so important! It doesn’t take the pain away, of course, but it does make you feel less alone. 
 

I have done this way too many times. (It’s the biggest drawback of having multiple dogs.) Though none of them were easy, the one that weighs the least on me was the one where we had the vet come to the house. We all sat outside under a tree, where my boy could watch the clouds float by. (Yup. Crying like a baby now.) This also allowed our other dogs a chance to sniff him so they would “understand” why he was missing from the pack. 
 

I am so sorry! Sending lots of gentle hugs!

[Kassia]

@Melissa in Australia I'm sorry.  😞 

[mommyoffive]

7 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

Hugs

Our dog passed away yesterday he was 12..it was pretty sad. I am not a dog person and I still find it pretty sad

Oh I  am so sorry for your loss.  Sending you some hugs.

[dsmith]

I'm glad that we removed our dog from the big uncaring animal hospital and took him to our normal vet, who handled it beautifully. I would consider having a vet come to our house in the future, but I love, love, love our vet, so probably not. He took us in immediately, gave dh all the time he needed (I had to wait in the car, I just can't handle being there for that...) and was always so gentle with our dog. That was the first time dh met him as I always handled vet visits, and he was very impressed by how much he obviously cared for our dog. He sent a lovely card with our dog's paw prints a week or two after. I don't regret not going in, but dh absolutely has to go in, so put some thought into how you feel about being there. Also, if you would like paw prints, ask if they can do that for you. I wished I had asked, so it was a happy surprise when the vet sent them. We didn't feel we needed to have his ashes, but it was important to my sister when she put her dog down, so maybe think about that option. I was surprised by how hard it hit dh and I with this dog. He was truly the best dog we've ever had. We're still very much in mourning coming up on two years now. Seriously, it's as bad as losing my parents, and the same for dh. Many people can't understand that. 

[Reefgazer]

Not dog experience, but cat experience.  I've had a lot of cat experience over the years because I've had many cats.

 

I too would have liked for a vet to make a house call, but in our area, those vets require an exam first, in addition to the house call and euthanasia experience, and it's just far too much money.  The only regrets I have ever had were waiting too long.  In the cases where I did that, the animal suffered needlessly because I was a big giant chicken.  I kick myself to this day over those 2 cats, and one was 21 years ago.

 

 

Edited January 27, 2023 by Reefgazer

[popmom]

This is such a sorrowful topic but so important to discuss. I am so grateful for everyone sharing their experiences. I definitely have had my fair share of regrets. We have had to make end of life decisions for dogs, cats, and rats. Small or large pet--it's always incredibly difficult. 

OP, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[mommyoffive]

8 hours ago, popmom said:

This is such a sorrowful topic but so important to discuss. I am so grateful for everyone sharing their experiences. I definitely have had my fair share of regrets. We have had to make end of life decisions for dogs, cats, and rats. Small or large pet--it's always incredibly difficult. 

OP, I'm so sorry for your loss.

So well said and I agree.  Thank you everyone.