Helping me not hoard part 2

[Elizabeth86]

So….kid drawings. Ugh. What do you do with kid art? I HATE throwing it away and I HATE keeping it. lol

[regentrude]

Scan and recycle as wrapping paper. Keep a few highlights.

[MercyA]

We keep the most special pieces and take pictures of some others before recycling them. 

[mommyoffive]

I think scanning is great.  I don't do that however.  I mean we do it somewhat.  My kids all have 3 ring binders with plastic sleeves and they keep art or keepsakes in there.   They go through all their art and get rid of things they don't want, the rest goes in the 3 ring binder.  Some art work is hung up too.  

[Starr]

Take pictures of it and keep a few originals. Also helpful is to decide how big of a storage container you want to keep. 
i just read the idea of @regentrudefor wrapping paper. That’s really fun. 

[barnwife]

I keep...basically nothing. 

I justify it because my mom kept everything. And I mean everything, including any newspaper article that mentioned us. It was a lot. And whenever she gives it to me, I smile and say "thank you!" I glance at it when she leaves and then happily toss it. 

Therefore, I obviously think my children will be just like me, and not want their stuff. 

Which, of course, means they will be the opposite and want everything, but oh well. Sorry, kids. You can keep your kids' stuff!

[Elizabeth86]

2 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

I think scanning is great.  I don't do that however.  I mean we do it somewhat.  My kids all have 3 ring binders with plastic sleeves and they keep art or keepsakes in there.   They go through all their art and get rid of things they don't want, the rest goes in the 3 ring binder.  Some art work is hung up too.  

There is no such thing as things my kids don’t want to keep. lol

[Elizabeth86]

Just now, barnwife said:

I keep...basically nothing. 

I justify it because my mom kept everything. And I mean everything, including any newspaper article that mentioned us. It was a lot. And whenever she gives it to me, I smile and say "thank you!" I glance at it when she leaves and then happily toss it. 

Therefore, I obviously think my children will be just like me, and not want their stuff. 

Which, of course, means they will be the opposite and want everything, but oh well. Sorry, kids. You can keep your kids' stuff!

Yes!! Same! My mom has so much of my stuff that it really isn’t special because it is like literally everything I ever touched. lol She’s even tried to convince me that random things she has bought over the years belonged to me and it really didn’t. I bet she hasn’t even looked at most of it either. So, my mom makes me feel guilty if I don’t keep stuff. My kid stuff really doesn’t mean all that much to me.

[mommyoffive]

12 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

There is no such thing as things my kids don’t want to keep. lol

THen I go through things on my own.  Things pile up with 5 kids. You sometimes have to be brutal, unless you have a huge house.

[Katy]

Have them pick their 1-2 favorites of that year. If their favorites and yours aren’t the same, you pick 1-2 also. Note on the back who made it and when. Stick it in a memory box. When the box gets too full to add more, put the favorites in the box first & throw out what doesn’t fit. 

[mommyoffive]

13 minutes ago, barnwife said:

I keep...basically nothing. 

I justify it because my mom kept everything. And I mean everything, including any newspaper article that mentioned us. It was a lot. And whenever she gives it to me, I smile and say "thank you!" I glance at it when she leaves and then happily toss it. 

Therefore, I obviously think my children will be just like me, and not want their stuff. 

Which, of course, means they will be the opposite and want everything, but oh well. Sorry, kids. You can keep your kids' stuff!

My aunt was laughing about this.  She had hair from her first haircut that her mom saved.  Like why would you want that now?? Or ever?? I would much rather have a picture or a video not the stuff.  What am I going to do with my old toys or artwork?  I have never wanted it.  It was a bit cool to have my kids play with my old toys.  But they are long gone because my kids were so hard on them.   That said my kids do like looking either digital or in their binders.  But when they are grown, I doubt they will want it.  But then I think I will enjoy looking at them and thinking of when they were little.

[maize]

pictures are definitely the way to go.

[barnwife]

4 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

THen I go through things on my own.  Things pile up with 5 kids. You sometimes have to be brutal, even if you have a huge house.

I edited your post to make it more true. FTR, We have 5 kids, and a large house by most standards, given that it used to be a barn. Even with a huge house (with plenty of attic space/other buildings for storage), I am ruthless. If we aren't currently using/displaying/playing with artwork, it's gone. I just...don't have the bandwidth to even know it's in storage.

Sorry, kids. 

[mommyoffive]

1 minute ago, barnwife said:

I edited your post to make it more true. FTR, We have 5 kids, and a large house by most standards, given that it used to be a barn. Even with a huge house (with plenty of attic space/other buildings for storage), I am ruthless. If we aren't currently using/displaying/playing with artwork, it's gone. I just...don't have the bandwidth to even know it's in storage.

Sorry, kids. 

That is the smart way to go. Otherwise you end up with a packed and cluttered home.  And at some point someone is going to have to deal with it. You in your older age or your kids when you die.  

[TheReader]

We kept the absolute most unique/important ones, ditched the rest. 

Rule #1 - if they didn't have their name on it, toss it

Rule #2 - if it was a coloring sheet,  not an original drawing, toss it

Rule #3 - if there are 10 (or 10,000) of the same basic thing, pick one, toss the rest

From there, use your judgement - but even 1 piece per year, per child, adds up soooo fast.  One idea I saw (I never did, b/c I was fine tossing stuff) is to get one of those shadow box style frames., the kind that's about an inch or so deep/thick.  Put each kid's name on the front of one, hang those, and slide artwork into it periodically, newest in front. You could put a mat in front, put one piece on display, the rest behind the mat. When it's full, sort and empty the non-keepers.  

[Elizabeth86]

1 minute ago, TheReader said:

We kept the absolute most unique/important ones, ditched the rest. 

Rule #1 - if they didn't have their name on it, toss it

Rule #2 - if it was a coloring sheet,  not an original drawing, toss it

Rule #3 - if there are 10 (or 10,000) of the same basic thing, pick one, toss the rest

From there, use your judgement - but even 1 piece per year, per child, adds up soooo fast.  One idea I saw (I never did, b/c I was fine tossing stuff) is to get one of those shadow box style frames., the kind that's about an inch or so deep/thick.  Put each kid's name on the front of one, hang those, and slide artwork into it periodically, newest in front. You could put a mat in front, put one piece on display, the rest behind the mat. When it's full, sort and empty the non-keepers.  

Rule #1. Yes, I’m running around going “who drew this” lol

[barnwife]

4 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Rule #1. Yes, I’m running around going “who drew this” lol

Oh, no.  Toss those, without question. Also, any that are just left randomly on the floor, the bathroom counter, the couch, etc...

[Elizabeth86]

Just now, barnwife said:

Oh, no.  Toss those, without question. Also, any that are just left randomly on the floor, the bathroom counter, the couch, etc...

I’ve been threatening. 🤣

 

[Elizabeth86]

I just thought I might get them all a drawing notebook to keep and any loose drawings and artwork get pictures taken and then trashed. That sounds sane, right?

 

Can y’all tell I’m nesting?

Edited January 17, 2023 by Elizabeth86

[mommyoffive]

14 minutes ago, TheReader said:

We kept the absolute most unique/important ones, ditched the rest. 

Rule #1 - if they didn't have their name on it, toss it

Rule #2 - if it was a coloring sheet,  not an original drawing, toss it

Rule #3 - if there are 10 (or 10,000) of the same basic thing, pick one, toss the rest

From there, use your judgement - but even 1 piece per year, per child, adds up soooo fast.  One idea I saw (I never did, b/c I was fine tossing stuff) is to get one of those shadow box style frames., the kind that's about an inch or so deep/thick.  Put each kid's name on the front of one, hang those, and slide artwork into it periodically, newest in front. You could put a mat in front, put one piece on display, the rest behind the mat. When it's full, sort and empty the non-keepers.  

I do this too.

[freesia]

I keep the ones that I particularly like. At this point my kids don’t want to keep all their picture so when I go through even old stuff, I pull some and ask them before I throw it out. When they were younger I mostly just decided myself. I display a lot of their art work in the kitchen. 

[mommyto4]

My kids each have a small plastic box for their "things"  -- artwork, photos, medals, cards, ballet shoes, baby books, whatever is special.  We look through it every couple of months and add a few things.  And at the same time, the kids often voluntarily get rid of things that aren't as special anymore.  I have six kids and my kids know that they cannot keep everything.

[Terabith]

I wish I had saved more art and writing.  

[mlktwins]

I have gone through some of my boys artwork, etc. What I did get through I scanned. My plan was to pick out the favorites and put them in a book with page protectors (or make a Shutterfly book of their artwork over the years). They are about to turn 18 and head off to college. This is one of my projects this summer and/or next fall. 

They really don't want any of it so that makes it easier. And...after cleaning out my dad's house of 50+ years and still doing the same with my in-laws house, I won't be keeping as much of it as I originally planned. I will look through my old stuff and toss most of it when I get to that box.

I remember someone on this board lost a lot of their stuff during Hurricane Sandy (I think). Her posts after that really stuck with me.

As I will be cleaning a lot of stuff out of my house in the next year or 2, I hope to ask myself what would I miss the most if I lost everything -- and focus on organizing, etc. those things.

[Bambam]

Each kid has a box. All things must be kept in that box. Box size is maybe 12x12x12.  Full and want to add something? get rid of something already in box. Each kid also has, I think, a 3 ring binder with sheet protectors - hand written papers go in there. Things in there range from hospital baby bracelet (seriously why did I keep that?), artwork, letters, hand-drawn maps, etc. 

However, oldest was big into art. She has a large portfolio case filled with various drawings. That's fine, but she moved part of her paintings home, and now I'm wondering what to do with those???

[prairiewindmomma]

We have one large plastic tote per kid for all of their childhood heirloom items. By the time our kids are teens, even with careful choosing, something must go out for something new to go in. Having a defined space really helps!!

Fwiw, having a tote per kid also makes it easy should we ever have to evacuate. The heirlooms with memories are what is not replaceable—and therefore top priority to evacuate. Our everyday “life” stuff is all replaceable with $.

[Beth S]

My current mode is having a Google Photo Album for each child.
I continue to scan their best work (& recognition, photos) and add to that album.

They can access it anywhere, any time they want to reminisce.
 

[Scarlett]

My MIL has 7 children. She kept a shoebox  size plastic box with lid for each child. 

[Clarita]

I thought about keeping but I just trash (sorry kids). I do have both their first haircuts but I'm not going to give it to them because I know that's just sentimental for me. When I die that's when they will get it. 

I mean my little girl mass produces "art". I'm encouraging to her face but she has also filled notebooks in a day. 

[Arcadia]

6 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

There is no such thing as things my kids don’t want to keep. lol

My kids each have an 18 gallon plastic tote for artwork and a 2” binder for letter size drawings. They pick what they want to keep.

Edited January 18, 2023 by Arcadia

[Eos]

Outlier here: I keep it all. 

Each kid has one or more large totes filled with their stuff, it's very neatly stacked in an attic space in our very small home.  They can decide if they want it or not at some future time, or I might get rid of it when I'm death-cleaning in the future, or else it can be neatly and easily tossed when I'm gone.  I made peace with my level of sentimentality years ago when I needed to do a big renovation.  I keep whatever I want to, as long as it's carefully sorted and packed in plastic tubs.  I've certainly recycled random scraps of paper but I also keep baby teeth and some hair cuttings, well-loved baby clothes and quilts.  I also have the ashes of my baby who died prior to birth. 

[kristin0713]

I always kept one binder per year that included the most important school work and art. Art or projects that were too big to fit into the binder, but I thought were important, I took a picture of and printed the picture for the binder. Everything else went into a "finished box" that periodically disappeared (i.e. went out with recycling) unbeknownst to the kids. Now that they are in high school, they each have one bin that is filled with their binders from the years prior. They decide what to keep now and deal with it in their rooms or squeeze it into the bin. 

[Farrar]

One more idea for reuse - we used to have a big pile of them contained in a specific place where I'd just throw everything and just before Christmas, we'd dig through them and I'd make calendars for the grandparents with all of them. I used to get fancy - print the calendar pages, laminate them with the artwork, and then take them to Staples to have them bound. They were a favorite homemade gift for years. But you could also just get a cheap calendar - even the kind they print up for businesses - and paste them on top of the calendar's pictures.

We also had a version of the saving box.

[KungFuPanda]

I tend to box and sort them years later.  You don’t know what will be significant until some time passes. Not EVERYTHING, just the “keeps” and “maybes.” Any 3-D nonsense gets photographed and tossed ASAP. 

[Serenade]

19 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

My kid stuff really doesn’t mean all that much to me.

I truly think that in many cases, kid stuff means more to moms than to their kids.

[Elizabeth86]

10 minutes ago, Serenade said:

I truly think that in many cases, kid stuff means more to moms than to their kids.

Absolutely 

[Arcadia]

20 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

I just thought I might get them all a drawing notebook to keep and any loose drawings and artwork get pictures taken and then trashed. That sounds sane, right?

DS18 drew on his laptop using the computer mouse when he was in elementary school. His newer laptop came with a pencil so he uses that to draw. He also drew on his smartphone.  He does have a few drawing notebooks and my avatar is one of his drawings.

20 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Yes!! Same! My mom has so much of my stuff that it really isn’t special because it is like literally everything I ever touched. lol She’s even tried to convince me that random things she has bought over the years belonged to me and it really didn’t. I bet she hasn’t even looked at most of it either. So, my mom makes me feel guilty if I don’t keep stuff. My kid stuff really doesn’t mean all that much to me.

That’s sad. My mom kept my school record books, school badges and some yearbooks. My DS18 loves looking at stuff from my childhood because it is a different era (70s/80s). My husband doesn’t have stuff from his childhood with him. His parents are both hoarders of different item categories so they aren’t decluttering because both refuse to throw stuff. My parents has decluttered so housekeeping is light work. 

[Hannah]

6 hours ago, kristin0713 said:

I always kept one binder per year that included the most important school work and art. Art or projects that were too big to fit into the binder, but I thought were important, I took a picture of and printed the picture for the binder. 

We also have a binder per year- a 50 sleeve page protector kind for selected pages of work, art and certificates. I kept everything in a box during the year and then put the file together to wrap up the year.  It was for record-keeping should we have been audited by the education department.  Now they're all in a wooden chest in the living room that we use as a side table.  We had fun looking at it when younger Dd finished school in December.

There's also one small crate of Story of the World crafts that I"m sentimental about throwing away.

All are marked clearly and easy to toss once I'm gone. 

[skimomma]

I am generally a minimalist and not very sentimental but I am a softie for kid stuff.  I have an embarrassing amount of Rubbermaid bins in the attic that have select toys, clothing, (home)school work, and artwork.  I can justify the homeschool stuff because I was constantly concerned that someone would turn us in for educational neglect.  And the only clothing I kept were items that had some special meaning like being hand-made by a relative or a particular favorite.  It will all need a big purge at some point but my unfinished and unheated attic is of no other use and nowhere close to full, so I figure it is not harming anyone.  If I were to keel over tomorrow, it is all at least neatly boxed for disposal should no one have any use for it.  If I were short on space or had a move in the future, I would for sure take a day to go through it all and likely could get it all down to one or two totes.  But as someone upthread mentioned, oftentimes you don't know what is "special" until some time has passed.

I also think I am sensitive to this specifically because my mom, who is a hoarder, somehow had in her possession every single take-out container, plastic shopping bag, and magazine she brought into the house since 1980 but somehow did not keep anything from my childhood.  Aside from medical records and a few random report cards, there was literally no trace that she had children.  When I asked her about this, years ago, she just said that since I didn't take the stuff when I left for college, she assumed I didn't want it.  Luckily, I have an aunt (also a hoarder) who did keep every drawing that I ever gave her, which was a lot, so I do have those....hoarding for the win! 

[mom2scouts]

I have 4 adult kids and kept a bunch of their art and funny school papers. I started going through it a few years ago and they didn't want any of it. They looked at it and immediately threw it out. I rarely keep any of that stuff anymore. I have two paintings on my wall that I really like that my kids did when they were younger, but almost everything else gets pitched unless they want to put it on their bedroom wall or shelf or in their memory box.

[stephanier.1765]

Regarding parents keeping things for their children. I did this. Whatever I thought of as a keepsake was put to the side, like the baby my youngest insisted go everywhere with him. He kept it tucked in his arm even while walking around the house. But then I reached an age (or my parents did), when my parents started giving me the things they put aside for me and I find I have no emotional attachment to those items at all. They were interesting to see but my feelings towards them is more of an irritation that now I have to find a place to store them. So what I learned is that I have an attachment to my children's childhood things but they don't. For me, those things bring back memories of when they were small and how much I miss those days but, to them, they are just interesting things to look, not something they want to keep. So I'm keeping the most precious things for me and the rest are going.

As I was finishing writing my response, I remembered there are childhood things I have kept. Books that I read and re-read over and over again, pieces of jewelry, my letters from high school sports but those are all things I brought with me when I moved out. So maybe my lesson to myself is that if it's meaningful to my children, they probably already took those things with them.

[Arcadia]

1 hour ago, stephanier.1765 said:

As I was finishing writing my response, I remembered there are childhood things I have kept. Books that I read and re-read over and over again, pieces of jewelry, my letters from high school sports but those are all things I brought with me when I moved out. So maybe my lesson to myself is that if it's meaningful to my children, they probably already took those things with them.

I still have things at my parents home. When we relocated from SE Asia to USA, we moved three times within 10 months so my jewelry and some items were not brought along. DS18 was an infant then and I was pregnant with DS17 so our priority was with baby items being packed and shipped. When I went back for my mom’s funeral, my dad’s priority was for me to bring back my jewelry and my mom’s jewelry as well as any important to me keepsakes.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, stephanier.1765 said:

They were interesting to see but my feelings towards them is more of an irritation that now I have to find a place to store them.

Yes, this. My mom kept a LOT of stuff on my behalf that she later gave to me. Most of it was not meaningful to me at all. The things I would have liked to see again were often not the things she kept, for example, I loved my Breyer horses most of all but she didn’t keep those. (I even *bought* a Breyer horse in adulthood because I’m sentimental about those. But I don’t have any of my originals.) She kept my first baby doll, which was meaningless to me and was not something I ever played with. Eventually, the face of the doll broke because the plastic or whatever degraded so much. 
 

She also kept several dresses that my grandmother had hand-smocked. While I do appreciate the artistry of the lost technique of smocking, I did not have any attachment to those dresses and eventually just tossed them. 
 

I also have my mother’s wedding gown, a fact that I really resent. She does still keep tabs on it, but I have the annoyance of keeping it around. If she died tommorow, it would not be any more precious to me; mostly I think I would feel relief that now I can get rid of it with no concern that she will still ask about it. 
 

Just this past week, I have been going through my dd’s closet to get rid of all the things. She is also an artist and a writer so it’s pretty hard to decide which things to keep. Some of her art is 16x22 or larger and I don’t know what I will do with those. I know I can take a picture of it and create a Shutterfly book or something of it but physically throwing away a large piece of beautiful original artwork seems extremely harsh. 

[Eos]

My paternal grandmother kept every.single.thing. of my father's.  When she died, he kept it.  When he died, our stepmother gave it to us.  My three sisters and I sat on my mother's porch with a bottle of wine on a beautiful afternoon and went through it all.  I mean all.  She kept his little colored books he had made as a preschooler right through papers he'd written in college.  Letters home from travels.  Newspaper clippings about him.  We looked at everything together, marveling at some of it for its own sake - I mean he was drawing little veggies in the 1930s - but also marveling at why anyone in their right mind would keep it.  My Grandma lost a baby after my father then had no more children, was it because he was the only one?  Was she mourning her lost baby and holding tightly onto the one she kept?  She grew up one of 8, I'm fairly sure she expected to have more.  Did her incessant fawning over him make him into the narcissistic person he became as an adult?  We each chose a few things we wanted, recycled the papers, gave some things to his remaining friends that wanted them, and threw the rest away.  

My mother's family also kept every.single.thing. but I see a different ethos in theirs.  Her mother's family were dreamy romantics and loved themselves and their community deeply.  They kept letters and invitations, from both childhoods and adulthoods.  I have my grandmother's baby book of my mother's infancy which is quite sweet - it's more of a journal. They kept beautiful old clothes and samplers, crazy quilts and Quaker bonnets.  My mother's paternal side saved everything because they thought they were important.  We have some pretty interesting relics and papers from that side of the family.  There's fewer baby items, but I do have a cast iron fire fighting toy - two horses, fire fighters, a wagon on wheels.

 

Edited January 20, 2023 by Eos

[LaughingCat]

I'm a big believer in throw it in a box and decide a few months later -- when it becomes very obvious that there are 60 practically identical pictures.   And I keep going through the box (maybe once a year) and weeding out.  I kept almost everything to begin with -- but then found it was easy to throw out most of it later when I saw I had 100 math sheets (or whatever), so for younger, I threw those things out right away.  And even reports or presentations that they worked hard on are easy to throw out a year (or more) later when the feelings have faded. 

At this point all I have is artwork and writings. I keep artwork that reflects them from that time and writings about themselves/family/friends or stories.

FWIW older DD (in college) says I should throw out everything of hers and younger DD would keep everything but is not generally interested in looking through it either (she enjoys looking at older DD's things more than her own) --  so I have realized that I am keeping it for myself more than for them.  (ETA -- and I do get caught up in the memories of their younger self when going through them -- that's why I only manage to weed out some each time at this point)

 My plan is to eventually weed it down to a 'scrapbook' worth for each of them -- something that can be easily paged through and read or laughed over (I pulled it out to weed through over older DD's college break and there was a lot of laughter from both kids 🤣)

Edited January 20, 2023 by LaughingCat