Widening my circle- where to look

[Soror]

I'm looking to expand my friend circle outside of hs'ers. 

I'm very, very tired of having to edit myself. Keep my beliefs to myself. The hs group was more inclusive before but any people I've made good friends with have moved away, gotten busy, or stopped hs'ing and lost touch. What is left is mostly very polarized and I don't fit - I'm not conservative enough, religious enough, or too schooly and conservative. When I told dh about my last encounter he suggested I'm not looking wide enough. He's totally right. But what do adults do that doesn't involve children? The only non-children activity I've done over the years is different exercise stuff. I quit public exercise stuff with Covid and there is nothing appealing to me locally at this point (I've searched and search several times over the last few months). 

[klmama]

Adults find new friends by putting in the time with new people - volunteering, taking classes, working, meeting shop staff, etc.  

[Kalmia]

I always recommend local artists and nature enthusiasts for friends. They are very inclusive, have strong interests to share, and are encouraging of others. Artists can be found at local gallery openings & receptions or nonprofit art organizations and at art classes. Nature Enthusiasts can be found in birder's clubs, nature center/museum walks & talks, wildflower gardening groups, hiking clubs, etc. 

Edited March 30, 2022 by Kalmia

[Grace Hopper]

I’ve been thinking about joining a book club and doing some volunteer work. Not sure how to find the right book club. 
 

My early 20’s daughter told me last week, now that I’m about an empty nester I should go get a full time job with fun people to work alongside. I do need some more income, so her idea doesn’t sound too bad. Maybe a part time job for you? 
 

ETA I had been sharing with my dd that the only place I ever meet or know people from these days is church, and that there are currently a lot of walking-on-eggshells type of interactions happening that way now, it’s not too fun. 

Edited March 30, 2022 by Grace Hopper

[Laura Corin]

Edited. Book group?

Edited March 30, 2022 by Laura Corin

[MEmama]

Idk but if you are successful I hope you’ll share your secret. 🙂

I'd really like to meet a group of like-minded women, ideally with some in a similar stage of life. I feel really isolated in my journey; I have one very good friend here but she can’t relate on certain levels. I'm not sure where to look in my small town; when groups start meeting again I might find something in the Big City (ha ha) but that’s too difficult to make a regular occurrence and even if I did make a connection I live too far away to be practical.

For now of course I’m still essentially couch-bound and with Covid it’s extra difficult, partly because not much is happening and partly because DH really isn’t comfortable with either of us doing anything involving the public yet.

I am interested in volunteering at the bookstore again, and I’d like to get involved somehow with the upcoming election. I feel like I should be using this time to start heading in some direction, but I’m still feeling stuck. 

[Happy2BaMom]

49 minutes ago, Kalmia said:

I always recommend local artists and nature enthusiasts for friends. They are very inclusive, have strong interests to share, and are encouraging of others. Artists can be found at local gallery openings & receptions or nonprofit art organizations and at art classes. Nature Enthusiasts can be found in birder's clubs, nature center/museum walks & talks, wildflower gardening groups, hiking clubs, etc. 

I'll second the Nature Enthusiasts. People who are connected to nature are (at least IME) different. Even if you're not "into" direct nature experiences, per se, you could get involved with your local school garden(s), volunteer at the Arboretum gift shop or greenhouse, help the local wildlife shelter, even by doing something like transporting orphaned or sick wild animals to the Center, etc.

 

[jen3kids]

Have you looked on Meetup.com?  They have a variety of activities on there based on location.  

[Faith-manor]

I have recently had some success by focusing on my two areas of passion. Classical Music and Aerospace Engineering. I am starting to build a network for a summer, mini-concert series I am offering, as well as getting involved with some aerospace education outreach through a couple of colleges and companies. I have had some really nice conversations with engineers and musicians, and actually have an outdoor coffee meet up schedule in April which I am excited about. None of these folks are local so in order to socialize, I will have significant travel involved (an hour or more each way), but at this point am happy to do it.

Maybe you could find a group or club centered around something you enjoy. 

[maize]

I've recently become involved with a really great book club; maybe you could find one in your area?

[Grace Hopper]

9 minutes ago, maize said:

I've recently become involved with a really great book club; maybe you could find one in your area?

How did you find your book club?

[hjffkj]

Do you like board games? I've found great friendships with gamers. While we do play games with my older kids and other kids we also set aside time where it is just the adults. Prior to the pandemic we would also do weekly trivia night with that same set of friends. 

Most of those friends were made via martial arts though, which was dh's career for ages and how I met him. 

The homeschooling mom friends I had seemed easy to have when the kids were all little. But now I just don't enjoy sitting around just chatting in the middle of a school day and we don't really have any shared interests that we could find an activity to do without kids

 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

Listening. I am really lonely, especially since moving.

Living rurally and trying to juggle my crazy work schedule with DH’s makes meeting people almost impossible, I dislike the majority of people I work with, and babysitters for me to go do something is hard to come by.  So I am commiserating with you but not really helping.

[maize]

29 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

How did you find your book club?

I was invited by someone I knew from church; I didn't know most of the other women but they have become good friends now.

This article suggests ways to find a book club:

https://www.perpetualpageturner.com/how-to-find-a-book-club-to-join-near-you/

[hjffkj]

Well if anyone is in the northeastern part of md or close enough I'm always up for making new friends. I find that I can get along with most level headed people and have a wide range of interests 

[wintermom]

I'd start with activities you enjoy doing. I've met a lot of nice ladies through our local tennis club. I also enjoy singing in a choir, and may join a new choir when we're all allowed to sing in-person together. I've met great people through previous choirs I've been in. Community theatre has also been an avenue to meet new people. I don't act.at.all, but I've learned to paint sets, help with sound and mics, and front of house. There are a wide variety of personalities in the theatre!

Good luck!

Edited March 30, 2022 by wintermom

[ScoutTN]

53 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

How did you find your book club?

Our local, independent bookstores have book clubs. Very ecclectic groups.

[ScoutTN]

Seconding outdoor things. Our local parks, REI, and universities all sponsor community activities.

[Soror]

Lots of good ideas. My interests- cooking/food (especially healthy--- I'd love a good cooking class but we don't have any around), hiking/nature, exercise (but not running). I enjoy books but go in spurts with reading--- I have a very unhealthy habit of binging books and not getting anything done.

I've looked for nature/hiking clubs but haven't found any. I found one trail clean-up trail but it was 100% middle aged rich white dudes. 

The library has a book club --- I've considered it but have been a bit nervous with it being a random meeting with people I don't know (maybe I need to make the leap).We dont' have any book stores here.

I've thought off/on about the Gardening club-- it is all older ladies-- me being 20-30 years younger so I didn't know how I'd fit in. 

I'm not into theater or singing or arts or animals.

I've thought about volunteering somewhere-- maybe the local DV shelter. Years ago we did for the food bank but when they told me I wasn't welcome with my children I didn't go back.

I live in a rural area so things are limited here. I have looked but between limited things around and nerves/anxiety either haven't found things or been too nervous to try. I'm hoping with new ideas and encouragement I'll finally get the nerve to try something.

[Bootsie]

I think a lot of people are struggling with this since COVID.  We moved a few months before COVID, and had not had a chance to get involved in local activities.  What types of activities might you enjoy doing?  I find it easier to get involved in an activity I like and then meet people than to focus on how I can meet people and then figure out something we can do.  Are there any volunteer activities--at the library, the food bank, Habitat for Humanity, animal shelter, nursing home, political candidate, local museum--or whatever your interests might be?  You may not meet people who are exactly your demographic age-wise and your life situation, but I have found that some of my best friends as an adult are a generation older than I am.  Or, I have met someone through a volunteer event who happens to have a daughter who has kids the age of my kids and introduces us. 

Is a part-time job a possibility?

 

[thewellerman]

I think covid and all the political stuff have really made it hard to just find people being people. I also think all the mlm marketing and social media prior to covid sort of made it even worse.  So many people are entrenched in selling no longer their products, but now their ideas.  They have to build a circle of approval around themselves on all the topics.  I know exactly what you mean about editing yourself, and it is exhausting. 

I'm tired, and feel like everyone I meet is up to their eyeballs and needs help, or they are up to their eyeballs helping people.  Those of us who are doing fine are too exhausted helping others float to have a normal friendship, and those who aren't fine obviously can't have a balanced friendship either.  

I don't know what the answer is either, but I wanted you to know that you aren't alone in being alone.  I think time will change things. Maybe.

[fairfarmhand]

49 minutes ago, Soror said:

 

I've thought off/on about the Gardening club-- it is all older ladies-- me being 20-30 years younger so I didn't know how I'd fit in. 

 

Give this one a try. I know lots of wonderful ladies in the county gardening group that I would LOVE to hang out with even though they are significantly older than me. They are delightful. If it doesn't work out, oh well at least you tried. But the gardening ladies enjoy talking about plants and gardens and trading seeds and plants with pretty much anyone.

[Faith-manor]

1 hour ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

Listening. I am really lonely, especially since moving.

Living rurally and trying to juggle my crazy work schedule with DH’s makes meeting people almost impossible, I dislike the majority of people I work with, and babysitters for me to go do something is hard to come by.  So I am commiserating with you but not really helping.

I think you and Soror should have a zoom social time. It isn't the same as in person, but it allows for grown up conversation and puts a face to the words which is comforting. Maybe you would find things that you enjoy talking about. Maybe not. I just wonder if it would be worth trying during this time when it is so hard to make local friends and socialize.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have a “lunch date” with a woman I want to get to know better set up for tomorrow. We got to know each other at some local events where we have a shared interest. But the main thing that attracted me to her is her integrity. I have such broad interests that I usually can find some common ground. Integrity is much harder to find. 

[QueenCat]

2 hours ago, Grace Hopper said:

How did you find your book club?

I found mine by asking on a local FB page. I just asked if there were any local women's book clubs in the area that were taking new members. I had three responses, one of which is in my neighborhood. I went to my first meeting about three weeks after moving to the state and it's helped so much on meeting people.

[mlktwins]

I have a year and half and both of my boys will be off to college.  Empty nester overnight.

I plan to start getting with other ladies in my neighborhood to walk, have lunch, etc.  Some are married with no kids.  Some will be sending their kids off to college too.  I'm not close with any homeschoolers around here anymore.  A lot from our early years went off to public or private school for high school.  Some moved away.  With caring for my dad, losing my in-laws last year, and my boys in high school, I've been super lonely even though I'm surrounded by people all the time.  

I am also going to get with other local stitchers - there are several groups in my area - to cross-stitch and talk.  That will be good for me.  I currently do this on-line which is lots of fun too.  There are a ton of FB groups for stitching and I have several really nice friends I now chat with from all over the world.  I found these groups about 6 months before lock down started and we all went through the pandemic together.  

I'm a social introvert so I don't want to meet people (in person) that are going to want to do something all the time.  Maybe once every couple of weeks or so for meetups to start.

Once I have rested, healed, and organized my own house (have been dealing with my dad's and in-laws stuff instead of mine), I may volunteer or get a fun job.  I just want some time to not be responsible for so much first.

[wintermom]

2 hours ago, Soror said:

Lots of good ideas. My interests- cooking/food (especially healthy--- I'd love a good cooking class but we don't have any around), hiking/nature, exercise (but not running). I enjoy books but go in spurts with reading--- I have a very unhealthy habit of binging books and not getting anything done.

I've looked for nature/hiking clubs but haven't found any. I found one trail clean-up trail but it was 100% middle aged rich white dudes. 

The library has a book club --- I've considered it but have been a bit nervous with it being a random meeting with people I don't know (maybe I need to make the leap).We dont' have any book stores here.

I've thought off/on about the Gardening club-- it is all older ladies-- me being 20-30 years younger so I didn't know how I'd fit in. 

I'm not into theater or singing or arts or animals.

I've thought about volunteering somewhere-- maybe the local DV shelter. Years ago we did for the food bank but when they told me I wasn't welcome with my children I didn't go back.

I live in a rural area so things are limited here. I have looked but between limited things around and nerves/anxiety either haven't found things or been too nervous to try. I'm hoping with new ideas and encouragement I'll finally get the nerve to try something.

Don't worry about being on the young side of a group. I find that the older ladies I meet through my connections (tennis, theatre, choir) are full of energy, really happy to get out and about, and welcoming to younger ladies. It also gives me a vision of some of the things I could be doing when I hit their age.

Gardening sounds awesome! If there is a thrift store in the nearby town, that might be a good place to volunteer and meet all kinds of people who come in as other volunteers and customers. 

Volunteering on a board of directors of a local org of interest could be another way to meet people. 

[Melissa Louise]

3 hours ago, Soror said:

Lots of good ideas. My interests- cooking/food (especially healthy--- I'd love a good cooking class but we don't have any around), hiking/nature, exercise (but not running). I enjoy books but go in spurts with reading--- I have a very unhealthy habit of binging books and not getting anything done.

I've looked for nature/hiking clubs but haven't found any. I found one trail clean-up trail but it was 100% middle aged rich white dudes. 

The library has a book club --- I've considered it but have been a bit nervous with it being a random meeting with people I don't know (maybe I need to make the leap).We dont' have any book stores here.

I've thought off/on about the Gardening club-- it is all older ladies-- me being 20-30 years younger so I didn't know how I'd fit in. 

I'm not into theater or singing or arts or animals.

I've thought about volunteering somewhere-- maybe the local DV shelter. Years ago we did for the food bank but when they told me I wasn't welcome with my children I didn't go back.

I live in a rural area so things are limited here. I have looked but between limited things around and nerves/anxiety either haven't found things or been too nervous to try. I'm hoping with new ideas and encouragement I'll finally get the nerve to try something.

I made two older friends IRL (one ten years older, one twenty years older) via a writing master class, and it's been so good! So don't rule something out automatically on the basis of age. 

 

[Hilltopmom]

Well, I went back to teaching and have a whole new friend group now. But with Covid we arent really doing stuff outside of school. 
I have taken a few local art classes with a teacher pal and a whole group of us are taking and teaching online PD classes at our local uni. together. In the summer we do in person fun ones like painting, historical re enacting, etc

In my neighborhood, lots of people are involved in local town parks run outdoor programs for adults- they go hiking, kayaking , snow shoeing etc once a week year round.

My mom was always part of a crafting/ quilting group, wide age ranges over the years.

Also- master gardening program or CSA/ local organic farm member or volunteer- typically friendly people

Edited March 30, 2022 by Hilltopmom

[Eos]

22 hours ago, Faith-manor said:

I have recently had some success by focusing on my two areas of passion. Classical Music and Aerospace Engineering.

I. Love. This.

[kbutton]

21 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

Give this one a try. I know lots of wonderful ladies in the county gardening group that I would LOVE to hang out with even though they are significantly older than me. They are delightful. If it doesn't work out, oh well at least you tried. But the gardening ladies enjoy talking about plants and gardens and trading seeds and plants with pretty much anyone.

I agree. I rarely make friends with people who are my age or at my stage of life. The ones I do make friends with often have friendships with people of a variety of ages as well.

20 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

But the main thing that attracted me to her is her integrity. I have such broad interests that I usually can find some common ground. Integrity is much harder to find. 

Enjoy! I agree. 

[Faith-manor]

I am soooo excited. A pipe organist is joining my two aerospace nerd acquaintances for our outdoor coffee escape next week. I need to suppress my geek enough not to scare these people away! 😁

Soror, are there any WTM'ers in your area? I am in nowheresville, podunk not near anything nice lower peninsula Michigan. So I am no help. But, I am wondering if there is someone here within a reasonable driving distance. Coffee and cheesecake meet up is always nice.

[Soror]

13 hours ago, Hilltopmom said:

Well, I went back to teaching and have a whole new friend group now. But with Covid we arent really doing stuff outside of school. 
I have taken a few local art classes with a teacher pal and a whole group of us are taking and teaching online PD classes at our local uni. together. In the summer we do in person fun ones like painting, historical re enacting, etc

In my neighborhood, lots of people are involved in local town parks run outdoor programs for adults- they go hiking, kayaking , snow shoeing etc once a week year round.

My mom was always part of a crafting/ quilting group, wide age ranges over the years.

Also- master gardening program or CSA/ local organic farm member or volunteer- typically friendly people

I might end up back working in a year or two. I'd love some outdoor programs for adults but there aren't any locally and the thought of trying to start something after years of leading different things just exhausts me.

18 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:

I made two older friends IRL (one ten years older, one twenty years older) via a writing master class, and it's been so good! So don't rule something out automatically on the basis of age. 

 

 

19 hours ago, wintermom said:

Don't worry about being on the young side of a group. I find that the older ladies I meet through my connections (tennis, theatre, choir) are full of energy, really happy to get out and about, and welcoming to younger ladies. It also gives me a vision of some of the things I could be doing when I hit their age.

Gardening sounds awesome! If there is a thrift store in the nearby town, that might be a good place to volunteer and meet all kinds of people who come in as other volunteers and customers. 

Volunteering on a board of directors of a local org of interest could be another way to meet people. 

I'm not ruling out based on age but it just adds to me nerves about it all. 

19 hours ago, mlktwins said:

I have a year and half and both of my boys will be off to college.  Empty nester overnight.

I plan to start getting with other ladies in my neighborhood to walk, have lunch, etc.  Some are married with no kids.  Some will be sending their kids off to college too.  I'm not close with any homeschoolers around here anymore.  A lot from our early years went off to public or private school for high school.  Some moved away.  With caring for my dad, losing my in-laws last year, and my boys in high school, I've been super lonely even though I'm surrounded by people all the time.  

I am also going to get with other local stitchers - there are several groups in my area - to cross-stitch and talk.  That will be good for me.  I currently do this on-line which is lots of fun too.  There are a ton of FB groups for stitching and I have several really nice friends I now chat with from all over the world.  I found these groups about 6 months before lock down started and we all went through the pandemic together.  

I'm a social introvert so I don't want to meet people (in person) that are going to want to do something all the time.  Maybe once every couple of weeks or so for meetups to start.

Once I have rested, healed, and organized my own house (have been dealing with my dad's and in-laws stuff instead of mine), I may volunteer or get a fun job.  I just want some time to not be responsible for so much first.

Yes, I don't want to do things every week even. I did start to meet some ladies but they wanted to meet much more frequently than my schedule would allow and 1 I got along with well and another was a bit pushy with her beliefs.

20 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I have a “lunch date” with a woman I want to get to know better set up for tomorrow. We got to know each other at some local events where we have a shared interest. But the main thing that attracted me to her is her integrity. I have such broad interests that I usually can find some common ground. Integrity is much harder to find. 

At this point, I'm looking for someone that doesn't try to convert me to their politics/religion/lifestyle or openly disdain me. 

 

12 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

I am soooo excited. A pipe organist is joining my two aerospace nerd acquaintances for our outdoor coffee escape next week. I need to suppress my geek enough not to scare these people away! 😁

Soror, are there any WTM'ers in your area? I am in nowheresville, podunk not near anything nice lower peninsula Michigan. So I am no help. But, I am wondering if there is someone here within a reasonable driving distance. Coffee and cheesecake meet up is always nice.

I live fairly well in the middle of nowhere too. I know of one WTM'er (hello @BusyMom5 but she's not really close to me). 

[Soror]

22 hours ago, thewellerman said:

I think covid and all the political stuff have really made it hard to just find people being people. I also think all the mlm marketing and social media prior to covid sort of made it even worse.  So many people are entrenched in selling no longer their products, but now their ideas.  They have to build a circle of approval around themselves on all the topics.  I know exactly what you mean about editing yourself, and it is exhausting. 

I'm tired, and feel like everyone I meet is up to their eyeballs and needs help, or they are up to their eyeballs helping people.  Those of us who are doing fine are too exhausted helping others float to have a normal friendship, and those who aren't fine obviously can't have a balanced friendship either.  

I don't know what the answer is either, but I wanted you to know that you aren't alone in being alone.  I think time will change things. Maybe.

Yes.

My local hs community always had sections of people that were more hard-lined but most of those just stayed at home and did their own thing. I knew the ones that were more conservative/liberal but they weren't in your face. Everyone was one big group. Now, it is polarized and split. It makes me so sad. And ethically I don't feel right lying and hiding my beliefs. I've done so to a degree-- just to keep the peace-- but I'm weary. And I feel slimy to let things go that I fundamentally disagree with-- even then just keeping to yourself is not enough-- it is the thought police.

22 hours ago, Bootsie said:

I think a lot of people are struggling with this since COVID.  We moved a few months before COVID, and had not had a chance to get involved in local activities.  What types of activities might you enjoy doing?  I find it easier to get involved in an activity I like and then meet people than to focus on how I can meet people and then figure out something we can do.  Are there any volunteer activities--at the library, the food bank, Habitat for Humanity, animal shelter, nursing home, political candidate, local museum--or whatever your interests might be?  You may not meet people who are exactly your demographic age-wise and your life situation, but I have found that some of my best friends as an adult are a generation older than I am.  Or, I have met someone through a volunteer event who happens to have a daughter who has kids the age of my kids and introduces us. 

Is a part-time job a possibility?

 

Yes, I'd rather do an activity and meet people that way. It is too much pressure to just meet people I don't know and chat.

21 hours ago, Faith-manor said:

I think you and Soror should have a zoom social time. It isn't the same as in person, but it allows for grown up conversation and puts a face to the words which is comforting. Maybe you would find things that you enjoy talking about. Maybe not. I just wonder if it would be worth trying during this time when it is so hard to make local friends and socialize.

The thought of Zoom social time nearly gives me hives. Like Bootsie mentioned I'd much rather do an event and meet people that way. It would be a lot less pressure then trying to come up with convo with people I don't hardly know and a way to slowly get to know people to see who might be a good fit for a deeper friendship.

Edited March 31, 2022 by Soror

[wintermom]

@Soror It sounds like you're already in a state of being stressed at the moment. If I were you, I'd leave this task for another time and just connect with the 1 or 2 friends I'm comfortable with. If none are available, perhaps approaching the idea of a counselor for a few sessions. Meeting new people and starting new groups does require extra effort, time and energy that you may not have at the moment. 

All the best to you! ((hugs))

[cjzimmer1]

If you like animals, rescues and humane societies are great ways to meet new people and help animals in the process (even if you don't want to own/foster an animal there are plenty of other ways to get involved).

[fairfarmhand]

Spring time is a good time to check out the Master Gardeners classes in your area. Just sayin'

[kbutton]

9 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

Spring time is a good time to check out the Master Gardeners classes in your area. Just sayin'

And digging in the dirt is good for mental health!

[mmasc]

I haven’t read all of the replies, but how’s your neighborhood? Some neighborhoods that I’ve lived in have a messenger or Facebook group where people might say “Come by for brunch on Thursday and let’s get to know each other!” Or “Anyone up for trying the new restaurant on 3rd street?” Or “Is there any interest in a book club?” Or whatever. You get the point. 😊

[Soror]

25 minutes ago, mmasc said:

I haven’t read all of the replies, but how’s your neighborhood? Some neighborhoods that I’ve lived in have a messenger or Facebook group where people might say “Come by for brunch on Thursday and let’s get to know each other!” Or “Anyone up for trying the new restaurant on 3rd street?” Or “Is there any interest in a book club?” Or whatever. You get the point. 😊

LOL. No. I don't live in a neighborhood I live on a road. My nearest neighbor one direction is 1 mile away. The other direction- my mil, and random people. I have met with a couple of neighbors further away. Maybe cultivating a friendship with one now- but I think I'm not crunchy enough for her from our last meeting -we'll see (she was trying to debate me on some things and I really don't want to have relationships like that).

45 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

Spring time is a good time to check out the Master Gardeners classes in your area. Just sayin'

I have been watching their page for info.

1 hour ago, wintermom said:

@Soror It sounds like you're already in a state of being stressed at the moment. If I were you, I'd leave this task for another time and just connect with the 1 or 2 friends I'm comfortable with. If none are available, perhaps approaching the idea of a counselor for a few sessions. Meeting new people and starting new groups does require extra effort, time and energy that you may not have at the moment. 

All the best to you! ((hugs))

Pfft. I'm 1000% times less stressed than I have been the last few years. I need to get out and do some things with people for my mental health.

[wintermom]

2 minutes ago, Soror said:

Pfft. I'm 1000% times less stressed than I have been the last few years. I need to get out and do some things with people for my mental health.

How about a paddling group? I seem to remember that you have kayaks. I find paddling with friends a ton of fun, and this may be a neat way to meet new people. I can't wait to get outdoors paddling with friends again! So much fun.

[Soror]

19 hours ago, wintermom said:

How about a paddling group? I seem to remember that you have kayaks. I find paddling with friends a ton of fun, and this may be a neat way to meet new people. I can't wait to get outdoors paddling with friends again! So much fun.

I do have a kayak but honestly only because dh and I used to go together. Watersports are not something I love. I wouldn't mind going with other people but there aren't any groups here. As said before, I'm a lotta bit burned out from leading so many things over the years and am quite anxious about being rejected again. 

[Soror]

I went by the library yesterday. There is a book club meeting on April 9 but they don't have anymore copies of the book. I have one ordered- we'll see if it gets here in time (and I work up the nerve to go!). It's a step anyway.

[wintermom]

1 hour ago, Soror said:

I went by the library yesterday. There is a book club meeting on April 9 but they don't have anymore copies of the book. I have one ordered- we'll see if it gets here in time (and I work up the nerve to go!). It's a step anyway.

Aren't you going to have to figure out how to navigate through people's opinions, biases, worldview points even more carefully in a book club? Talking about one's impressions about a book is terrifying to me. Digging in dirt or paddling a boat next to a person is a ton eaiser. You just point out the birds and other wildlife, talk about the weather, etc. and gradually slip into deeper, more personal conversations if you wish. How does that work in a book club? 

[Soror]

1 minute ago, wintermom said:

Aren't you going to have to figure out how to navigate through people's opinions, biases, worldview points even more carefully in a book club? Talking about one's impressions about a book is terrifying to me. Digging in dirt or paddling a boat next to a person is a ton eaiser. You just point out the birds and other wildlife, talk about the weather, etc. and gradually slip into deeper, more personal conversations if you wish. How does that work in a book club? 

I'd love to an outdoor activity if there were one's available but there haven't been yet. So, I'm going with what is available for now. At least views will be out there so I will know. I can share as much or as little as I want and if I think it's a bad fit I won't go back.

[wintermom]

2 minutes ago, Soror said:

I'd love to an outdoor activity if there were one's available but there haven't been yet. So, I'm going with what is available for now. At least views will be out there so I will know. I can share as much or as little as I want and if I think it's a bad fit I won't go back.

Makes sense. Hope you enjoy the book club and find a friend or two! 

[Guest]

If you have a decent social media presence, you could do what I did. I put out a blanket call for anyone local to me who wanted to join an adventure club. My goal was to have twelve members; I was open to (almost) anyone who wanted to join. The only thing I put right out there from the start was that they couldn’t be Covid deniers/mask or vaccine refusera because I was not about to have an adventure ruined by someone refusing to wear a mask or show a card. 
 

So I have twelve people, with the thought that every month, one person plans the adventure. (Adventure could be almost anything from something outdoors to a museum to a quirky town or whatever. We have completed two adventures (a hike; a museum) and will do the third coming up (art museum).) 

Admitedly it is a bit of a crap shoot who will join and there are some interesting differences that have not yet been noticed but I don’t know how it will go when they are; I.e., Someone in a non-Christian religion with someone devoutly Christian. I also imagine some people will quit and some new people will come in. But I am open to it. 
 

The majority of the members are people I always liked but we are not in the same circles anymore so I wouldn’t see them unless we particularly plan on it. I think it’s pretty cool and I like what different people bring to the group. I never knew the one museum even existed, for instance. 

[Beth S]

For fellow book-lovers, volunteering to setup the library book sales . . . and eventually serving on the Friends of the Library board . . . has brought an easy group of "Friends".  We cross paths with all kinds of community folks, which has formed quite an easy network. 

And yes, several of the Friends are in book clubs, and are writers/poets/authors.  Another delight.

I've been able to get the homeschool teens to help move the 1000 boxes of books, which has created a great intersection of senior citizens and high schoolers.  (And yes, the older generation works faster & harder than the teens!)

Edited April 1, 2022 by Beth S

[Hilltopmom]

For the outdoor stuff-

our local state park has been offering a lot of programming lately too… guided hikes, nature book clubs, talks, etc

maybe something like that is available near you 

I totally understand not wanting to run something yourself!