Big Problem: Mom w/ fragrance product illness & teen son laden w/ fragrance products.

[Pen]

 

 

I have quite severe intolerance to various toxic chemicals including fragrance products. My 15yo ds is in public school this year and is coming home reeking of fragrance products. I spent last night vomitting and in pain. Today I have a migraine somewhat muted by meds I have taken.

 

I am dreading going and picking ds up from after his cross country practice.

 

I am trying to figure out what to do both short and long term.

 

I would appreciate any ideas, since I don't feel that with migraine I am even thinking through this well.

 

 

More details and ideas I've had will follow in a next post below. But just with the above gist of the problem read, if you have any ideas, I'd appreciate it.

 

[marbel]

My husband and son can't tolerate most fragrances.  So our daughter - who loves fragranced products - has grown up not being able to use all the things she'd like.  Sometimes she'll bring something home and check it with the rest of us (though I am not particularly bothered) to see if something "works," meaning, doesn't make them sick.  If they say the scent is bothersome, she doesn't use it, or uses it only when she is away and can shower before coming home (such as at camp). 

 

Does your son understand the problem?   Does he think she scents wear off while he is at school? 

Edited October 4, 2017 by marbel

[hornblower]

Is he applying the scents on himself or is he just getting contaminated by hanging around others who have doused themselves in Axe? 

If the former, I'd yell at him, make him take over all your dinner cooking and other evening chores for a week and force him to shower immediately upon coming home and do all his own laundry right away. 

If it's the latter, I'd just cut to the shower and laundry and skip the yelling and chores....

Actually since you have a migraine, skip yelling even if it is option one. 

Just tell him to read this post and I'll yell at him for you... 

[sassenach]

I'm having a hard time imagining how he would just pick up the scent. He's got to be applying something, right? Maybe he's using a scented deodorant?

[scrapbookbuzz]

YOUR house, YOUR HEALTH, YOUR rules. Son needs to learn to put your health before his wants. Period.

If he can take a shower at school BEFORE coming home, even better. Tell him to use an unscented or lightly-scented deodorant/antiperspirant

and that's IT. Girls may like the smell of a guy's cologne but it is NOT a requirement for them to like him. 

 

If he doesn't know how ill it's making you, let him know.

[Catwoman]

Is he wearing the fragrances, or does he have a girlfriend who loves perfume?

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'm unclear if the problem is that HE is wearing the stuff or picking up the scents from those around him who are wearing them.  The first one is easy.  Tell him he can't.  The second one..hmmm...that will be more challenging.  I'm thinking something like he gets home another way (that doesn't involve you picking him up) and he immediately throws clothes in washer and showers when we gets home.  Maybe offer him some sort of "thank you" for doing so (like you'll get him that cool video game he wants or whatever). 

 

 

[Pen]

Edit  to break this into paragraphs:

 

Lots more details, ideas, etc. Probably TMI.

 

 

 

Ds says he is not personally using anything and it is entirely second-hand. I am not totally sure this is true, given how strong it smells. But it may be that there is so much being used by his peers that just second-hand fragrance is causing this.

 

 

 

Most of it is apparently Old Spice, he says, which, according to him, all the boys are into this year. I think that is probably at least part of it, and I actually thought Old Spice had a 'good' smell other than it making me feel unwell--until now I just feel ghastly sick from it, and only perceive a cloying and nauseating odor, not anything pleasant at all.

 

 

 

Some smells to me more like strong deodorant soap like maybe Irish Spring or Coast or some such as that and/or maybe scented laundry products --dtergents and drier sheets -- on top of the Old Spice. Some may be other product residues from what the girls are wearing. Perhaps also some cleaning products, but the school has some faculty who are also toxic chemical intolerant and they say they have tried to use better products in recent years. And I have usually been able to go into many parts of the school without severe reaction. though it may be that I was not sensitized yet and won't be able to next time I try.

 

 

 

 

Yesterday/today was not the only time this has happened this year, but probably the worst, or at least my reaction, now sensitized to this stuff is especially bad. 

Edited October 4, 2017 by Pen

[Catwoman]

I don't buy the story that he's picking up the scent from the other boys unless he's in very confined, close quarters with them for a long time every day.

[Pen]

I'm having a lot of trouble with features today including quoting and likes and making things not run into one enormous paragraph.

 

 

Ds says he is not applying anything to himself. I also have a hard time believing that it is truly just second hand it is so strong. But it could be just second -hand. That is anyway what he says.

[MEmama]

:grouphug:

 

I don't have any experience with this, as DS is super sensitive to scented products and wouldn't get near them never mind put them on his body, but something sounds off. His school doesn't allow scents to be worn--no Axe (thank goodness), no perfumes--and after cross country all he smells like is well, sweaty teen boy.

 

Can you contact the school and ask about their scent policy? If your son just being around it is causing so much residue as to cause you issues, I can't fathom how the teachers or students get through the day. Would it be totally weird to call and explain?

 

I hope you can get it sorted soon. I'm sorry for your misery. :(

[SparklyUnicorn]

Old Spice is vile.  Blech.  My dad wears it so when he comes here it reeks. 

 

Luckily it doesn't give me headaches or anything, but yeah I don't care for that stuff.

 

 

[Pen]

More details:

 

Longer term options (this is assuming it is second hand, that calling school re policy gets nowhere etc.)  I am thinking of are to give him choice of going back to home schooling (BMS is better for him socially and for sports and he won't want to home school. And I am not at all eager to try to teach a rebellious and resentful student.) Or perhaps trying to buy a used trailer that can be set up in the yard and be his personal space.

 

 

 

Short term to deal with house at it is right now, pick up from school today, and how to handle the next few days... here's what I am doing or thinking of doing: We have a very small house, and only one bathroom.

 

 

 

Right now I have windows open trying to air it out, Had an air filter going in kitchen which was quite bad. But am planning to take it to my bedroom to try to have one area that is okay for me to be.

 

Our dog cuddled and slept part of last night with ds and the dog now has the chemical fragrance product in his fur. Dog got on my bed, so now it is on my bed. I can wash the bedding. But I am exhausted and feeling sick and there is so much to wash. If I can find a clean set, maybe I'll just try puttng on new for now. I am thinking to try some baking soda in the dog's fur rather than to give him a bath which seems like more than I can manage right now. Dog was outside earlier and came back in not seeming as bad as he was earlier.

 

 

The fragrance stuff is on all the chairs in living room. 2 "comfy chairs" were covered with blankets or throw rugs, so the blankets / rugs can probably be aired and then washed--or at least the chairs themselves under the blankets should be okay. One very good rolling upholstered semi-ergonomic tall back desk chair was not covered with anything--and ds spent several hours on it yesterday, It may be ruined from my POV in terms of being able to go near it without nausea, migraine and vomiting.

It is a nice day so I plan to put it on porch in hopes it will air.

 

to be continued

 

 

 

 

[goldberry]

I don't buy the story that he's picking up the scent from the other boys unless he's in very confined, close quarters with them for a long time every day.

 

I agree, I just can't see how it would get that strong.

 

[snowbeltmom]

:grouphug:  I do think it is possible for your son to get contaminated by others at school.  Is there anyway he can shower and change into fresh clothes after school before he comes home?

[Pen]

Assuming he is not putting on a different deodorant while at school, what we have at home is fragrance free.  He's not showering there, and so far as I know the showers are already closed when they are done with XC.  The only home items with fragrance are a Dr. Bronners shaving soap and peppermint soap. And an herbal insect repellant--which isn't in use now.

[Pen]

More or the thoughts and details:

 

There are also just what seem to be areas of strong air pockets of the odor not on anything particularly identifiable. Ds left his dirty stuff on bathroom floor, and I cannot go in now. I am thinking to put on a mask and gloves and gather what is in there into a plastic bag. thinking then to ask him to hang it up outside to air.

 

 

I am concerned that this all is going to ruin my new washer in terms of leaving odor residue.

 

And may ruin furniture.

 

And even worse than that, go permanently into the flooring and walls of the house as happens in houses of smokers.

 

 

 

I'm planning to take a hoodie and a pair of zip leg athletic pants with me when I go to pick ds up today , so that he can cover most of himself up. There is a sheet over the passenger seat. I'm planning to take 2 plastic garbage bags for his backpack, clothing (that he would have taken off before running practice), or other items. If he is unwilling to put on the hoodie and over pants, I'm planning to tell him that he is going to need to walk home. It is 2.5 miles and he runs and walks much more than that daily.

 

 

 

Tomorrow though there is a meet and it will be too late when he gets back to safely walk home.

 

 

At home I am going to tell him that I will give him privacy to undress and get his stuff into another plastic bag on porch and then go take a shower including washing his hair with fragrance free shampoo. I'll go get some clean clothes he can put on for after the shower as soon as I finish posting. If he refuses...I am not sure what I will do if he refuses.

 

 

Presuming he gets reasonably cleaned up, I'd then like to sit outside with him and talk about what is going on and find out if he has any ideas for how to solve the problem.

 

 

 

Does the above sound okay for today?

 

 

Can you think of other things I might be able to do that could help?

 

What do you suggest for longer term?

 

 

 

adding: Ds has problems with fragrance products, plastics, and other chemicals himself. But at the moment he is in denial about that--and at his current age and stage probably less highly sensitive than a few years ago. From outside of him, the current effect seems to be a sort of giddy, manic ADHDish, or very irritable behaviour. (He also gets this from sugar, some dyes and other things in foods.) But right now he wants to do what the other boys do and to fit in with his peers. And none of his current symptoms are things that especially bother him personally. That is, I think he feels personally "good" when he is whirling around like a top and talking a mile a minute whether that's from sugar or from fragrance product. And it makes him especially hard to talk with / deal with reasonably.

 

 

 

His bio-father goes into manic states (needing medical intervention) which ds can see from outside as not normal, but ds cannot perceive when he himself is getting close to that.

 

 

Possibly adding to emotional situation for this afternoon, while I was feeling sick last evening, ds told me that his bio-father (currently in a residential care facility) was on phone in one of the manic states he gets in, and thinking he was working for something he does not work for and had called to interview ds for a radio show (imaginary radio show). Often the days after such a phone call are rough.

 

 

Also, I had left steak and vegetables for ds to eat for dinner last night, but he said he was going to eat ice cream instead (I think he ended up not eating either). I was too sick to make breakfast and school lunch this morning and told ds he either needed to get something for himself or else eat the school breakfast and lunch. I don't know what he did, but suspect that he is also going to be reacting to less than excellent foods for 3 meals in a row.  Also not likely to help our interaction and communication this afternoon.

 

 

I'm thinking as I am still feeling sick, and not sure I'll be up to cooking, maybe this would be a good time to put a lasagna that I froze for another day into the oven.

[catz]

I would buy him non-scented deodorant for home and for his locker at school and keep that supplied.  I would require him to shower as soon as he gets home and have some clothes just to be worn at home - a few hoodies, sweats, t-shirts could cover that.  No sitting and relaxing.  Run in - quick shower.  I'd have him bin his laundry somewhere outside or in a garage until he has enough to wash and he needs to be in charge of it.  ETA - are there any other ways for him to get home?  Can he take a bus, bike or walk?  Pay another driving parent? So he doesn't have to be in the same vehicle as you.

 

I would see an allergist and a doctor to make sure there is nothing else going on with your health.  That's a very extreme reaction if this all 2nd hand fragrance.  And it seems unfair to homeschool him just for this reason if he really doesn't want to do that.  Is this reaction new?

Edited October 4, 2017 by WoolySocks

[Pen]

:grouphug:  I do think it is possible for your son to get contaminated by others at school.  Is there anyway he can shower and change into fresh clothes after school before he comes home?

 

 

It is hard for me to believe, but I think it is possible.  Could be from person to seat to person, for example. Also they are a very huggy, arms around shoulders, give each other piggy back rides, etc. group of kids.

 

I'll ask the school about shower possibility. I think they are closed at the time XC finishes, but if that could be done it could help a lot on days I am picking him up.

[Ravin]

I would consider finding a way to set up a decontamination station for him--in a mud room, a shed, whatever will work. Have him strip off his outer clothes, wash his head/hair and hands, and put school clothes directly into the wash.

[OneStepAtATime]

I would consider finding a way to set up a decontamination station for him--in a mud room, a shed, whatever will work. Have him strip off his outer clothes, wash his head/hair and hands, and put school clothes directly into the wash.

I agree, although Pen has to pick him up from school and will be trapped in the vehicle with him all the way home.

 

Pen, FWIW, I had a friend that while pregnant got so sick she ended up bedridden because of a sudden over sensitivity to odors.  Her husband was bringing odors from work into the house that made her projectile vomit.  Her husband did as Ravin suggests.  He set up a "cleaning" room so as soon as he walked in he stripped down, hosed off, tossed all of his clothes into a contractor's bag, bagged his shoes, then took an actual shower, changed into clean clothes and washed the clothes he had been wearing at work just so he could get near her without making her sick.

[Pen]

I would buy him non-scented deodorant for home and for his locker at school and keep that supplied.  I would require him to shower as soon as he gets home and have some clothes just to be worn at home - a few hoodies, sweats, t-shirts could cover that.  No sitting and relaxing.  Run in - quick shower.  I'd have him bin his laundry somewhere outside or in a garage until he has enough to wash and he needs to be in charge of it.  ETA - are there any other ways for him to get home?  Can he take a bus, bike or walk?  Pay another driving parent? So he doesn't have to be in the same vehicle as you.

 

I would see an allergist and a doctor to make sure there is nothing else going on with your health.  That's a very extreme reaction if this all 2nd hand fragrance.  And it seems unfair to homeschool him just for this reason if he really doesn't want to do that.  Is this reaction new?

 

 

Good ideas.  Would take finding someone who could do it, but might be possible to hook up a washer/drier in the garage that he could use, or maybe even a shower out there.  I'll have to think about that.  And then  he could come in once dressed in "home clothes."

 

It is one piece of a chronic health condition I have. Not new.

[marbel]

My husband occasionally attends meetings at the hone of someone who uses scented laundry products. When he comes home I can smell the stuff on him. It's not bad enough to make him sick, but it is noticeable. So, second hand contamination is possible.

[shawthorne44]

I think he needs to either find another way home from sports, or drop out of sports.   Period.  Causing mom migraines is not to be tolerated.   

 

I also wouldn't set a trailer as his personal space.   You don't want to reward this.  

 

When he finds his own way home, there needs to be an outdoor decontamination station.  Including leaving the dirty clothes in a bucket of water with soap and baking soda in it.  \

 

eta:   Maybe a better way is put the solution on him.  Tell him that him causing you migraines is not an option, so what is he going to do?   Tell him you'll help him brainstorm.  

Edited October 4, 2017 by shawthorne44

[Guest]

Have him take clothes in a plastic bag to change into after school before he gets in your car and then have him get in the habit of immediately washing his clothes when he gets home.

[MedicMom]

It is hard for me to believe, but I think it is possible. Could be from person to seat to person, for example. Also they are a very huggy, arms around shoulders, give each other piggy back rides, etc. group of kids.

 

I'll ask the school about shower possibility. I think they are closed at the time XC finishes, but if that could be done it could help a lot on days I am picking him up.

My husband is similarly sensitive. My personal products are fragrance free, but he definitely reacts if I'm around people who are heavy fragrance users. It transfers so easily. I definitely think your son can bring it home second hand, especially if they are the usual teenage touchy feels crowd. My husband is not as severe as you, and I can head off his migraine with a clothes change and shower. I'm sorry; I don't have any good answers for you.

[Corraleno]

To protect you while in the car when you pick him up at school, I would buy some cheap painters coveralls from Home Depot and have him put those on over his clothes before he gets in the car. I've seen cheap disposable versions, as well as washable canvas ones (which could go in a bag in the garage along with his other clothes). Then have him go through a decontamination routine, as others suggested, once he's home. 

 

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, it sounds utterly miserable. :(

SaveSave

[MedicMom]

I think he needs to either find another way home from sports, or drop out of sports. Period. Causing mom migraines is not to be tolerated.

 

I also wouldn't set a trailer as his personal space. You don't want to reward this.

 

When he finds his own way home, there needs to be an outdoor decontamination station. Including leaving the dirty clothes in a bucket of water with soap and baking soda in it. \

 

eta: Maybe a better way is put the solution on him. Tell him that him causing you migraines is not an option, so what is he going to do? Tell him you'll help him brainstorm.

I think this is harsh for a second hand reaction. Pen's son has no control over what products his peers use. He's not purposely causing his mother migraines.

[StephanieZ]

Can he ride a bike home from school? If the roads are safe enough for a bike, that'd eliminate that problem. . . and then he can shower/change as soon as he gets home. 

 

I'm assuming you already drive with all the windows open? I'm not sensitive to fragrances, but sometimes my teen boy stunk so bad that I drove with all the windows open. Even in the winter. And it's a 25 min drive home from anywhere, lol. Anyway, if you aren't already rolling all the windows down, I'd add that to your strategy. 

 

And, when he gets home, be sure he takes all his clothes straight into the washer and starts it immediately. Himself. 

 

And, FWIW, I'm with the nope-to-hs'ing-for-this-reason crowd. Gotta' find another solution. Showers, change of clothes, ride a bike, etc. 

 

 

[shawthorne44]

I think this is harsh for a second hand reaction. Pen's son has no control over what products his peers use. He's not purposely causing his mother migraines.

 

I wasn't suggesting that he be punished for it.   Just that it not be allowed to continue.  Even assuming it is entirely secondhand, his desire for sports does not trump his mothers health.  

Putting a child in a private trailer, even an extremely responsible child is asking for trouble.  Not asking, begging trouble.  

[AimeeM]

I don't buy the story that he's picking up the scent from the other boys unless he's in very confined, close quarters with them for a long time every day.

 

 

 

Even back in the day, when I was in high school, boys and girls were always spraying crap on themselves -- in the hallways, in the bathrooms, and even in class.

And if Mom is sensitive, even, to things like the scent of dryer sheets, I can easily see how what she is smelling seems overwhelming to her, but might not actually be excessive amounts. <---- and I don't say that to be insensitive at all. My mom is like the OP, and can't tolerate any fragrances, really... but even the scent of (only!) just-applied deodorant could set off a physical reaction for her, and she described the smell of even just that as being overwhelming, so if the OP's son is around kids who are spraying themselves, etc, I can easily see it.

[Pen]

I think he needs to either find another way home from sports, or drop out of sports.   Period.  Causing mom migraines is not to be tolerated.   

 

I also wouldn't set a trailer as his personal space.   You don't want to reward this.  

 

When he finds his own way home, there needs to be an outdoor decontamination station.  Including leaving the dirty clothes in a bucket of water with soap and baking soda in it.  \

 

eta:   Maybe a better way is put the solution on him.  Tell him that him causing you migraines is not an option, so what is he going to do?   Tell him you'll help him brainstorm.  

 

It is not being caused by the sports.  And he really pretty much "needs" sports to work off high energy, as well as that that is his area of accomplishment and social bonding.

 

Yesterday when it was so bad he had come home by school bus.  

 

I'm dreading pick up today based on yesterday, and since I already feel sick.  But it is possible that during running he actually airs out somewhat, and that it was the home directly by bus that made it worse.  Maybe it was even on the bus seats. I don't know.

 

Leaving the clothes in a bucket with soap and baking soda is an interesting idea. If I can get that in place for today I may try that rather than just a plastic bag and see how it goes.

 

 

Can he ride a bike home from school? If the roads are safe enough for a bike, that'd eliminate that problem. . . and then he can shower/change as soon as he gets home. 

 

I'm assuming you already drive with all the windows open? I'm not sensitive to fragrances, but sometimes my teen boy stunk so bad that I drove with all the windows open. Even in the winter. And it's a 25 min drive home from anywhere, lol. Anyway, if you aren't already rolling all the windows down, I'd add that to your strategy. 

 

And, when he gets home, be sure he takes all his clothes straight into the washer and starts it immediately. Himself. 

 

And, FWIW, I'm with the nope-to-hs'ing-for-this-reason crowd. Gotta' find another solution. Showers, change of clothes, ride a bike, etc. 

 

 

Yes. As a partial solution bike can be one of the options.  Not on icy days, or if he has a meet and is getting home late. But some days it can.

 

Thank you for mentioning windows. It sounds obvious, but in state I am in right now I might not have thought of that!

 

I'm actually thinking that the fragranced clothes should be hung outside somewhere to air before washing so as to less contaminate the washing machine.  Or also that maybe he could just put on tomorrow whatever he wore today.

 

He will wash them himself. But I am concerned about washer itself and other items that he might put in that might end up with the scent that don't have it now.  If it is second-hand I have to assume it transfers easily and lingers.

 

 

That certainly is true for the dog and chairs and so on.  The dog got it third hand, I guess, as did the chairs.  My bed got it 4th had from the dog.  Whatever all it is it seems to have tremendous sticking and transferring power.

[Wheres Toto]

If the locker rooms are still open, he should be taking a shower before getting in the car to go home.  If they aren't open, bring a change of clothes and a bag, he has to go into the boys room and change before getting in the car.   Otherwise, he needs to walk/bike ride home and shower immediately, before sitting down or doing anything else, keep his dirty clothes in the garage, do his own laundry, etc.

 

I'm a little confused by the posts where you talk about "if he refuses".  Would he really refuse to take steps knowing how ill it makes you?  Whether the answer to that is yes or no, I wouldn't give him a choice - he doesn't get in the car until his clothes don't stink, he can't go anywhere in the house except the shower when he gets home, etc.

[poppy]

Have him bring a clean pair of clothes to change into before coming home.  Put what the "other kids" contaminated  into a sealed bag.  He needs to do that washing.

 

There is no way on earth I'd get him a reward ( a trailer) for this. He needs to do some changing if he wants to stay in public school- is my view.

[Pen]

Almost time to go get him.

 

I've got an easy to slip on over things hoody and pants in vehicle. 3 plastic kitchen trash size bags to receive smelly stuff and a bungee to tie it down in bed of pick-up.

 

At home I have clean, non fragranced pants, underwear, and a shirt waiting in the bathroom for after shower change and another bag on porch for the things he then has on.

 

That's as far as I can get right now.

 

And lasagna waiting in oven.

[Rebel Yell]

If people are spraying it in locker rooms and bathrooms, he could get some of the spray on him.

 

Sharing uniforms, coats, costumes?

 

Extended hugs? Crowded hallways where people are pressed into each other?

 

Leftover scent in chairs, bus/car seats?

 

We used to give a ride to an awesome young man, who smelled a little too awesome, LOL! The car, and especially the seatbelt, smelled like his cologne. It was Avon, which has always given me a ferocious headache.

 

SweetChild's BF had to change his deodorant brand because just being around him made her eyes water and burn. H doesn't wear cologne, but BabyBaby can tell when he's spent too much time on our couch because she can still smell him the next day- soap or deodorant, I guess.

[MedicMom]

I wasn't suggesting that he be punished for it. Just that it not be allowed to continue. Even assuming it is entirely secondhand, his desire for sports does not trump his mothers health.

Putting a child in a private trailer, even an extremely responsible child is asking for trouble. Not asking, begging trouble.

My understanding is that it's not caused by the sports, but by the amount of fragrances used by other people at the high school he attends. I don't know if it's changed, but 20 years ago everyone was always spraying themselves with something. It's perfectly believable to me that those chemicals are transferring to him while at school.

[Joules]

I haven't read it all, but, yes, second-hand can be awful for me.  Dh comes home with a variety of smells that are too much.  Does he change clothes to work out?  If so, where do his street clothes go?  I've found that if they are stuck in a locker, the street clothes will pick up all the odors there.  If he puts his backpack and street clothes in a garbage bag before putting them in the locker, it may help a great deal.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Almost time to go get him.

 

I've got an easy to slip on over things hoody and pants in vehicle. 3 plastic kitchen trash size bags to receive smelly stuff and a bungee to tie it down in bed of pick-up.

 

At home I have clean, non fragranced pants, underwear, and a shirt waiting in the bathroom for after shower change and another bag on porch for the things he then has on.

 

That's as far as I can get right now.

 

And lasagna waiting in oven.

 

Good list.  The only other thing I can think of is some unscented baby wipes to wipe off his face and body if there is still residue that might be on his actual skin.  (This is provided that there is still a problem after your current plan is put in place.) 

[Pen]

I wasn't suggesting that he be punished for it.   Just that it not be allowed to continue.  Even assuming it is entirely secondhand, his desire for sports does not trump his mothers health.  

Putting a child in a private trailer, even an extremely responsible child is asking for trouble.  Not asking, begging trouble.  

 

 

Have him bring a clean pair of clothes to change into before coming home.  Put what the "other kids" contaminated  into a sealed bag.  He needs to do that washing.

 

There is no way on earth I'd get him a reward ( a trailer) for this. He needs to do some changing if he wants to stay in public school- is my view.

 

 

I'm hearing you both about the trailer idea. And that is not something that could happen right away in any case.  

 

A friend of his across street had own trailer space due to small house issues.  I'm not looking at the possibility in this case as a reward, but only possibly as a what might need to happen to make things workable.  It is possible that he will be so full of whatever all these scents are that the only realistic options will be homeschool or something like a trailer, because just changing clothes and showering may not be enough if it has soaked deep into skin.  And for the moment, I am taking it that it really is secondhand, not deliberate.

 

It does not smell at all like skunk. but it seems sort of like skunk in how it seems to go from one thing to another and in being hard to get out.  Dog is still stinky I'm actually considering tomato juice or peroxide and baking soda on dog as for skunk.

[shawthorne44]

My understanding is that it's not caused by the sports, but by the amount of fragrances used by other people at the high school he attends. I don't know if it's changed, but 20 years ago everyone was always spraying themselves with something. It's perfectly believable to me that those chemicals are transferring to him while at school.

 

Assuming he is getting it second hand, the locker room will be where the second-hand spraying happens.  

[bolt.]

I think you should ask an ordinary person whether it smells strong to them.

 

There is a minor possibility (even though he is a good kid) that he or a friend are smoking (tobacco or pot) and using fragrance as a cover. If so, your reaction might not be entirely based on the fragrance chemistry, but also partially on whatever chemistry is being covered up.

[carriede]

If it isn't the XC practice kids, could he shower BEFORE practice to get the "school" smell off? Then bag those clothes and wear his fresh, sweaty ones home?

[gardenmom5]

My mom used to wear a mask.  I would suggest the one with the respirator so it really filters out stuff.  then he can shower and change when he gets home so you can take the mask off.

 

do the kids at the school bathe in the stuff?  or put it on in the classrooms next to him?  I can't understand how there would be so much on him.  

'tho if you're super sensitive, it wouldn't take much for you to notice.

I had a friend who could tell the neighbors dropped off a sealed box of clothes.  she has cat allergies, and they had cats.

[shawthorne44]

I wonder how the car smells after he's been in it?   If the dog still smells it would make sense that the car would too.    

[Melissa in Australia]

I'm having a hard time imagining how he would just pick up the scent. He's got to be applying something, right? Maybe he's using a scented deodorant?

have you ever been round a large group of 15 year old boys. they just spray their deodorant around into the air of the corridors while they are dousing themselves. anyone who walks past in the minutes following is going to be contaminated with the stuff.

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

I hear you.

 

 

 My DH has Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. When he was really bad ( before we modified the whole house and basically excluded ourselves form any social life) I had to change the kids after preschool . they would pick up the scent of other kid's laundry detergent.

 

When we have visitors, we always try to  sit outside so their scent doesn't contaminate our hose

[Murphy101]

I don’t care how it’s happening.

 

My solution is to insist they strip down clothes in the garage/utility entry, put the clothes directly in the washing machine and then head straight to the shower upon entering the house.

 

The smell of cigarette smoke and some other smells is like biohazard to me. Thankfully my loved ones know this and I usually don’t even have to ask them to do the above. Dh knows if he had a business meeting in a place where people were smoking (not unusual) that he can’t come near me until the contaminates been washed off. Idk what it was about one shop a son worked at a few years ago, but the minute he walked in the house - I would get so nauseated and my eyes would water like I was sobbing. Same procedure solved the problem then too.

[MerryAtHope]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

I hear you.

 

 

 My DH has Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. When he was really bad ( before we modified the whole house and basically excluded ourselves form any social life) I had to change the kids after preschool . they would pick up the scent of other kid's laundry detergent.

 

When we have visitors, we always try to  sit outside so their scent doesn't contaminate our hose

 

This is us too. We have air filters and use safe products, and follow specific procedures for visitors. When the kids and I go to church (dh can't attend because of chemical sensitivities and other chronic health issues), we have to shower and change when we get home. My dh can't be in close proximity to me (definitely not share a car ride) until I have showered and changed. 

 

 

I have quite severe intolerance to various toxic chemicals including fragrance products. My 15yo ds is in public school this year and is coming home reeking of fragrance products. I spent last night vomitting and in pain. Today I have a migraine somewhat muted by meds I have taken. I am dreading going and picking ds up from after his cross country practice. I am trying to figure out what to do both short and long term. I would appreciate any ideas, since I don't feel that with migraine I am even thinking through this well. More details and ideas I've had will follow in a next post below. But just with the above gist of the problem read, if you have any ideas, I'd appreciate it.

 

 

Perfume manufacturers incorporate specific chemicals that both broadcast scents and make them "cling" to fabric and other surfaces after the person has gone. Second-hand perfume is a real issue for people with chemical sensitivities (and then add to it that kids are spraying at school and it's not even second-hand.) 

 

If he could shower and change at school or a neighbor's without coming in contact with any scents after, that would be ideal. But barring that, I think wearing a mask, driving with all the windows down, and having him change in the garage and shower immediately is probably the best idea. I'll be interested to hear if the coveralls-type idea helps to make the car ride more tolerable.

 

So many chemicals go into the products we use every day, and it does affect some people severely. It's definitely a difficult issue, and my heart goes out to you.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'd think running some vinegar through the wash will help against any smells in the machine.

 

Do you take meds form migraines?  Could you take them ahead of picking him up?  In the event you just can't do anything about it at any given time?