Reassure my daughter: boys' shorts

[MercyA]

Okay, my daughter is being a bit stubborn. I was fed up with the selection of girls' shorts this summer--some are so short that the pockets hang out the bottom, and they are pretty much all tight. 

 

She likes to be comfortable. She likes pockets. She likes to be modest. So I bought her these:

 

http://www.gymboree.com/shop/item/boys-denim-cargo-shorts-140165165

 

http://www.gymboree.com/shop/item/boys-the-easy-on-short-140164920

 

http://www.hm.com/us/product/66311?article=66311-A&cm_vc=SEARCH

 

She admits they fit fine. These will be worn with her large selection of glittery, girls tees with unicorns and butterflies and all that good stuff on them. Justice is her favorite brand, IYKWIM. She has long hair and loves jewelry and sparkly headbands.

 

She is worried that she won't look feminine. 

 

What says the Hive? 

 

ETA: She also wants your opinion on her sweatpants. She just found out those are boys', too.  ;)

Edited June 6, 2017 by MercyA

[Tanaqui]

This arbitrary distinction between "boy" clothes and "girl" clothes is a conspiracy by the patriarchy to keep women from having pockets. She'll look like a girl because she IS a girl.

 

But if she's concerned, tell her you'll help her add some iron-on appliques of butterflies and flowers and, I don't know, firebreathing dragons, whatever she thinks is sufficiently "girly". Maybe you can sew some lace to the hems :)

[SparklyUnicorn]

shorts are shorts

 

I would never look at those and say they are for boys or girls.  They are just regular ole shorts.

 

 

[Guest]

The middle short in particular, actually look feminine to me. Maybe it's because dd has some that are similar. I wouldn't give any of them a second look. Fair warning though, I regularly let my 4&5 year old share jean shorts, because I really can't tell the difference unless there is pink stitching or something, which I've only found with Lee brand shorts. 

 

On a side note, I think they're all adorable and might have to order some for my kids! :) And tell her sweats are sweats. Oh man. I made myself laugh out loud remembering the post with the lady in high heels and sweat pants.  :lol:

[Barb_]

How old is she? If she feels embarrassed I say that trumps practicality

[Barb_]

Will she wear boys athletic shorts? My petite teen girls love to wear size 12-14 adidas boys basketball shorts. They are comfy and super cheap compared to name brand adult shorts

[Guest]

I think they look fine.  I'd wear them myself.

[Beaniemom]

If it helps, my 10 y/o and 7 y/o daughters both said they wanted some like those when I opened the links.

[Guest]

Bedazzle 'em.

 

FWIW, I was usually able yo get good, modest shorts and pants at Lands End when DD was little.

[MercyA]

Thank you all so much! My daughter is reading your comments with interest. I've had to explain a few things, like the conspiracy against pockets.  ;) (BTW, Tanaqui, your comments made her giggle. She loves fire-breathing dragons!) 

 

Seriously, you are all very helpful.

 

Barb, she does have quite a few pairs of basketball-type shorts, and they are definitely comfortable, but she would like some denim options, too. She is between 8 and 10 years old. (DH doesn't like me to be too specific online.)

Edited June 6, 2017 by MercyA

[marbel]

I think they look fine, but I'm not sure that's going to be reassuring to a young girl.   I do remember being embarrassed by some of my clothing as a kid.  

 

But I do agree that decorating them might help.  

[Desert Strawberry]

They are cute! I have some of these put away, waiting for Luna to grow into them. Luna is the spakliest, glitteriest, tutu wearingest girl I've ever seen.

 

I prefer more understated bottoms to go with super girly tops. They work better than the frilly, lacy, sky looking girly shorts.

[Barb_]

Rather than elastic waist, what about a more fitted style that has the adjustable buttons? The elastic waist can pull weird on a girl especially if she has anything resembling budding hips.

 

ETA: I supposed I should have said tailored rather than fitted

Edited June 6, 2017 by Barb_

[domestic_engineer]

I agree with you that girls shorts are so short, but I also agree with your daughter that I'd prefer something more feminine.

Could you two compromise by looking at Bermuda shorts or Skorts or skirts with bike shorts underneath?  Could you have at-home shorts (that are on the short side) and going-out shorts (more modest)?

 

I know how exasperating it can be to work with a child's logic, but I'd try to find some middle ground before insisting on the linked shorts.

Just my two cents.

 

(If you divulge her age and then desired length - fingertip, knee, etc - , then perhaps the Hive can help you find some options.....)

[Farrar]

I was also going to suggest bedazzling or iron ons.

 

I think they look fine. One thing you might do is if they're really long to hem them up, maybe even by giving them a little bottom pleat, which seems feminine to me. The "girl" shorts are very short these days and the "boy" ones are very long. If she feels they look "boyish" then it's probably because they're knee length or just above the knee. She could keep the modesty and have them taken up to a length in the middle that might feel more feminine.

[MercyA]

Rather than elastic waist, what about a more fitted style that has the adjustable buttons? The elastic waist can pull weird on a girl especially if she has anything resembling budding hips.

 

ETA: I supposed I should have said tailored rather than fitted

 

I love the ones with adjustable waists, but pretty much all of them have a button closure in the front, and she doesn't like how those feel. She prefers all-around elastic or knit waists.

 

Thanks for the note on elastic waists and hips! Not a concern now, but probably will be before too long!

[domestic_engineer]

 

FWIW, I was usually able yo get good, modest shorts and pants at Lands End when DD was little.

Another vote for Land's End ... although this year their Bermuda shorts seemed really tight.  So maybe look for used Land's End shorts which would pull from previous seasons with more relaxed legs?  

[Barb_]

Gap has some cute longer denim shorts for girls--even knee length. It's pretty easy to find coupons or sales for 40-50% off, especially on the weekends.

 

http://www.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=14403&departmentRedirect=true&mlink=6256,13425078,DP_Main_G_Shorts&clink=13425078#department=48

 

Scroll down. They are sorted by length

 

And I see some elastic waists :)

Edited June 6, 2017 by Barb_

[happi duck]

If they're comfy then they're perfect, imo!

 

Jeans are often "just jeans" and don't need to be embellished. The rest of the outfit is what makes it feminine.

[MercyA]

I agree with you that girls shorts are so short, but I also agree with your daughter that I'd prefer something more feminine.

Could you two compromise by looking at Bermuda shorts or Skorts or skirts with bike shorts underneath?  Could you have at-home shorts (that are on the short side) and going-out shorts (more modest)?

 

I know how exasperating it can be to work with a child's logic, but I'd try to find some middle ground before insisting on the linked shorts.

Just my two cents.

 

(If you divulge her age and then desired length - fingertip, knee, etc - , then perhaps the Hive can help you find some options.....)

 

Before this summer, we've done mostly skirts or dresses with bike shorts underneath, but they are getting harder to find as she gets older. The skirts and dresses that are long enough to suit me (above the knee but not super short) are too long for her to wear on her bicycle--they hang down on the back wheel. Also, the athletic shoes she likes look much better with shorts than with skirts.  :)

 

I've looked at lots of Bermudas, but they all look pretty tight and a lot of them have that rolled cuff at the bottom, which I think would bug her. She doesn't care for skorts. 

 

We'd both like something loose-fitting but longish. Somewhere between fingertip and just-above-the-knee. She wears a size 10. 

 

No worries, I'm not going to make her wear them if she's not comfortable with them. It's just that she didn't mind them a bit until I told her they were from the boys' section.  :tongue_smilie:

[alisoncooks]

My girls wear longer shorts, and I think the ones in the links are cute!

[gardenmom5]

they're fine -  especially with all her girly stuff.  only a clotheshorse would notice they're not this season's daisy dukes.

 

I ended up buying MEN's hiking shorts and convertible pants.  I want cargo pockets in my hiking pants - and I want them to be comfortable, not tight fitting where you can barely use the teeny pocket they have.  or the hiking pants that convert to daisy dukes . . .

[EMS83]

I think it's totally fine, but my DD is in boys' jeans (Levi's 514), and boys' sweatpants, too.  She's fine with this, as well.

And I was such a tomboy I probably really did look like a boy for a while there, lol.  I didn't even bother with sparkles and jewelry (still don't).

[TeenagerMom]

The only ones of those that my DD would have worn at that age MAY have been the 3rd pair.  If you had just posted the pictures without saying specifically which department they came from, I definitely would have still identify them as from the boys department.  I think if that bothers your daughter, even at ages 8-10, she should be listened to.  It is quite a crucial age for self esteem development (at least for my DD it was).  Did you try looking at school uniform shorts?  Those tend to be longer, well made, and pretty comfortable. 

 

Like these

 

http://www.childrensplace.com/shop/ProductDisplay?urlRequestType=Base&catalogId=10551&categoryId=433014&productId=969457&errorViewName=ProductDisplayErrorView&urlLangId=-1&langId=-1&top_category=47511&parent_category_rn=47511&storeId=10151&departmentId=47511

 

Believe it or not, Justice can often carry longer shorts also

 

http://www.shopjustice.com/tie-front-bermuda-shorts/prd-6430046

 

http://www.shopjustice.com/reversible-long-mesh-active-shorts/prd-6450052#color/659

 

And these have knit waist to be more comfortable

 

http://www.shopjustice.com/knit-waist-denim-bermuda-shorts/prd-9476527#color/606

[Soror]

My girly girls would not like the 1st or 3rd options, my dd2(7yo) has a pair similar to option #2 she bought at JCPenney's in the girl's section, they have a bit of tapered fit with cuffs but aren't tight. My oldest 2 girls have very specific ideas about fashion and are very particular about what they wear. Of course I think wear whatever you want, boy/girls/ it doesn't matter BUT I also try to honor my girl's wishes.

[Artichoke]

DD and I agree with your daughter that 1 and 2 are a bit too boyish for our tastes.   Target may have something that works for you.  Is she old enough to wear women's Old Navy shorts.?  Their shorts have pockets and come in several different lengths  including  5inch and Bermuda.  

[Barb_]

I just want to say that some of my girls actually owned and wore shorts from the boys section of Gap and Gymboree when they were 8-10 or so, but those were clothes they had picked for themselves. I think that makes a difference.

 

Mercy, maybe next time you buy it online, have her try them on without telling her where they came from, then return them to the store if they don't work?

[mamaraby]

My dds wouldn't go for them, but they live in skorts from Land's End. Seeing as I personally hate all skirts and dresses, I'm not sure whose children they are. :p

 

I'd second Justice like the ones a pp posted. These (http://www.shopjustice.com/knit-waist-denim-bermuda-shorts/prd-2880052) are a denim short with a knit waist so no button.

 

On the other hand, if your dd finds them comfortable and otherwise won't wear them because she thinks they don't look girly enough, then I'm with Tanaqui and others - bedazzle/iron on patch/embellish those things.

Edited June 6, 2017 by mamaraby

[mamakelly]

My dd would not have wanted to wear those, she would have said they weren't girl enough. You can find longer shorts, you just have to look a little more.

[lllll]

nm

Edited June 9, 2017 by tentwelve

[SebastianCat]

These shorts from Justice are my almost-13 year old DD's favorite shorts (and others have linked to the same shorts already upthread).   They are soft and super comfortable.  The only thing she doesn't like about them is that they don't have pockets, but we actually saw something similar this week at Walmart with pockets.

 

We have also found denim bermuda shorts at Kohl's.   

 

 

[solascriptura]

My daughters wouldn't wear them. Sorry! I found shorts at Old Navy with a cuffed hem. I just undid the hem so that they're longer.

[2squared]

My 9yo wouldn't wear those, and she immediately identified them as boy shorts.

 

FWIW, 13yo and 10yo boys wouldn't wear them either.  My 6yo might wear them, if the waste band is completely elastic.

[foxbridgeacademy]

DD, almost 14, wears her brothers old camo, cargo, shorts with cute tops and looks adorable.  She gets complimented ALL the time.  I like the idea upthread of adding stuff to it.  Iron ons are cheap and easy, so is a box of markers and an imagination.

[Julie Smith]

My niece who, I'm told by herself and her parents has TONS of clothes would wear them. 

[maize]

Those look like awesome shorts!

[bolt.]

My DDs willingly wear "boys section" clothes, and I have intentionally cultivated a disregard for the labels since they were younger. Children's Place items have helped because I've often found stuff in their boys section that I'd be surprised to see on any actual boy. (ie salmon pink shorts, lavender button-up shirts for Easter.)

 

So, I guess you'd say they are used to it. It helps if I buy an "outfit" with a very desirable top and matching plainer boys' bottoms. Neither my 12yo nor my 9yo have objected yet to the concept. (Occasionally they have rejected certain selections. A couple times, they want something, wear it, then suspiciously don't really wear it any more. Usually is not an issue at alll.)

Edited June 7, 2017 by bolt.

[Tap]

My dd10 only wore boy shorts for years, now it is a mix, but still mostly boys.  LOL  She liked the way boys fit her better than girl clothes. Better/softer elastic, looser fit (not so tailored), pockets and longer legs.  She liked that she could play and roll around, do cart wheels, ride bikes/scooters easier in them..... because they were better designed for active kids. 

 

The other nice thing about neutrals, is that they go with everything.  You don't have to worry about the wrong kind/color of flower on the pocket, or wearing a purple trimmed pair of shorts with a red shirt.  Neutral bottoms are wayyy easier to work with. 

 

[Guest]

I think that they look fine, although they do look like guy shorts. It sounds like her top and accessories will pull it together as a feminine look. Her hairstyle will play a roll, too.

 

As a side note, I gave up trying to find a tshirt in the women's department. I don't want low cut, too tight, thin, and too short. So, I buy my tshirts in the men's department because they're more modest. I try to always wear earrings and a small necklace, and maybe a cartigan sweater so that I don't look too much like a guy. :) If I really want to look more feminine, I wear a button down blouse.

Edited June 7, 2017 by Fifiruth

[Rebel Yell]

Keep in mind my girls are much older, and even my very athletic girl prefers clothes that are clearly feminine but not pink (LOL doesn't seem to actually exist :( ) AND we all love superheroes, despise the lack of pockets in girls clothing, and more... but those totally look like boy clothes to me. It could work with the right outfit, but we would still see the shorts as boys clothing. Nothing wrong with it, but not our preference.

[SparklyUnicorn]

If I could find men's shorts that would fit, I'd be so all over that (pockets, way they look, length, etc.).

 

 

[meena]

We all wear longer shorts in our family, but DD and DS1 prefer slimmer leg shorts. That seems to be more in fashion now. It's also much easier to be active when you don't have to worry about your shorts riding up or ballooning out. If you're not opposed to a slimmer fit, Justice has knit waist denim bermuda shorts that are cute and look comfy. http://www.shopjustice.com/knit-waist-denim-bermuda-short-/prd-2883896?ref_page=search#color/605

 

ETA: Ha, obviously I didn't read the replies before posting. 

Edited June 7, 2017 by meena

[J-rap]

I have four pretty staunch feminist dd's, but I'd say that these do look more like boy-shorts, and my dd's would probably say that too.  Sorry!  They'd wear them if they felt super comfortable, but I think they'd rather have something that allowed good coverage but looked more feminine.  

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

We all wear longer shorts in our family, but DD and DS1 prefer slimmer leg shorts. That seems to be more in fashion now. It's also much easier to be active when you don't have to worry about your shorts riding up or ballooning out. If you're not opposed to a slimmer fit, Justice has knit waist denim bermuda shorts that are cute and look comfy. http://www.shopjustice.com/knit-waist-denim-bermuda-short-/prd-2883896?ref_page=search#color/605

 

ETA: Ha, obviously I didn't read the replies before posting. 

 

Hey the plus size would fit me.  I like those!  :laugh:

[Soror]

My girls have had a very distinct taste from the time they were toddlers and it was not because I was trying to make them girly girls. I was never into frofro stuff, I didn't put bows and ribbons in their hair or any of that stuff. But by the time they dressed themselves at 2+ they knew what they wanted. DD2 likes very unusual pairings, like leopard print and strips or something, Saturday for church she wore black leggings, brown fur lined boots, and a light pink lacy vintage looking dress over it all. Dd1 is quite often embarrassed by her style, she likes trendy stuff and is more apt to wear shorter shorts and tank tops whereas dd2 will wear longsleeves and pants when it is 80+ degress outside. A friend recently gave us some hand me downs and neither girl would even touch the girl khakis shorts, I tried to convince them they were ok but they didn't believe me. We do most of our shopping at Goodwill.

[Xahm]

Reading this post is like hearing about my own child. I've tried, without success, to avoid the idea that some clothes are only for boys and that everything must be sparkly. If I offered her those shorts, she'd say, "well,I guess I could paint in them."

I'm going to remember the iron-on suggestion for when we face this problem.

[marbel]

Some kids just have stronger preferences.  My daughter never liked anything sparkly and never wanted princesses on her clothing, but she had definite ideas about her style.  This had nothing to do with what I did or didn't do with regard to clothing.  Even now she is pretty fussy and it can be difficult for her to find the right clothing; for example, she is supposed to wear khaki trousers or shorts at work in the summer, but she has a hard time finding what she likes.  She is also hard to fit (long-waisted, very slim).  

 

Anyway, the more I read this thread and the more I think about it, the more I believe, Mercy, you are not going to convince your daughter that those shorts are OK if she thinks they are not.  No matter how  many hive aunties say they are great.   :-)   

[Paige]

Revolution! If we all quit buying ridiculously short and tight girl shorts they'll quit trying to sell them to us. 

 

I think they look fine. My daughters would complain if they knew so I probably wouldn't have told them. I only buy bermuda shorts for them.

 

ETA: I would try to convince my girls that we were fighting the system and resisting the patriarchy. They might get on board with that.

Edited June 7, 2017 by Paige

[Soror]

Hey the plus size would fit me.  I like those!  :laugh:

They have them in sizes for me too :) The legs look too tight for me though, I'm very curvy so I have to have shorts with loose legs.

[LMD]

Teach her to sew?

 

I think they're fine. But then, we were extremely annoying parents when dd was little, intentionally fighting the 'pink/girly/sparkly/frilly' stereotype...