So who talks to their husband like Kate does to Jon (tv show)?

[Bess]

I'm watching this series now via Netflix for the first time. I'm aghast at how Kate talks to her husband!!!!!!!! I wouldn't talk to my worst enemy like that. I feel for their children that they hear their parents talking like that to each other all the time.

 

Is anyone else alarmed by this, or are there people out there who thinks this is perfectly normal and okay?

[CAMom]

I'm not totally innocent ;), but I wouldn't dream of speaking to my husband (regularly) like Kate does.

 

1. I think it would leave him feeling like I don't respect him.

 

2. I find that my kids very quickly start immitating the words and tones that I use and I would definitely not want them talking to their dad that way.:eek:

[LG Gone Wild]

Not me! That's all I will say.

[Journey]

I don't know what I would do if I had eight kids. I would hope that I would not talk to anyone the way she SOMETIMES talks to him, but since I'm not perfect, I'm not going to say I would never do that. Walk a mile in her shoes then think about the question again. It's so easy to throw stones or to criticize other people, and it's also really ugly. Are you guys saying that you've never, ever said an unkind, unflattering word to your spouse?

[CAMom]

I don't know what I would do if I had eight kids. I would hope that I would not talk to anyone the way she SOMETIMES talks to him, but since I'm not perfect, I'm not going to say I would never do that. Walk a mile in her shoes then think about the question again. It's so easy to throw stones or to criticize other people, and it's also really ugly. Are you guys saying that you've never, ever said an unkind, unflattering word to your spouse?

 

No, I'm not saying that at all. I said that I'm not totally innocent.:)

 

I'm not judging her. I'm just saying that, for me, I know it would make my husband feel like I don't respect him and I know my kids would copy it! My dd regularly tells my dh not to forget his jacket in the same tone that I use.;)

[Tracey in TX]

Can't tolerate watching the show b/c she is a shrew and nasty tempered to her spouse much of the time. It feels voyeuristic to observe her behavior, almost as if it's one stress point from abuse.

Yes, I am sometimes mean to my family, but have the common sense to not broadcast it to the world. My life might be crazy, but it's not for public gawking. If they're willing to put it all out to be seen, they must realize there will be a backlash of anything less than desirable--her treatment of Jon, debatable exploitation of children, etc.

[2cents]

I think the thing that stands out about Kate on the show is that she consistently is rude to her husband. I would assume most people have at some time been rude but it is quite obvious that it is a big part of how the parents interact. I stopped watching the show because I wanted Jon to stick up for himself and he never did. He seems to do a lot so it seems worse that she keeps harping on him. Also, I don't think having 8 children mitigates consistently obnoxious behavior. :)

[JFSinIL]

We ahve watched it since the first season - Kate has seen herself on tv now, gotten emails and comments - and is trying to act nicer. That said - the woman has problems (not least of which is allowing tv crew to film your kids all the time????).

 

We call it "watching the train wreck" here.

[Apiphobic]

I'm watching this series now via Netflix for the first time. I'm aghast at how Kate talks to her husband!!!!!!!! I wouldn't talk to my worst enemy like that. I feel for their children that they hear their parents talking like that to each other all the time.

 

Is anyone else alarmed by this, or are there people out there who thinks this is perfectly normal and okay?

 

I'm not familiar with the show but I can get the general picture from reading your post and the responses to it.

 

My question is if anybody did, would s/he admit it?

[swellmomma]

I speak to my spouse like that, but in my defense we have been separated for 7.5 years so we don't like each other much, and in that time he has not seen the kids, and has only been paying child support since xmas, so I am very snippy shrew like when I speak to him though I am trying to correct that. I don't like the way she talks to Jon at all, and couldn't imagine speaking to a husband I live with like that and having the marriage be healthy.

[*********]

Am I glad to know I'm not the only woman that has that reaction to that show! It drives me beserk. Well, I should say it did, we don't have cable anymore. But I can't stand the way she talks to her husband.

 

And no, I'm not perfect. :D But it truly is so upsetting. I mean, one day her boys may be husbands, is that the way she hopes her daughter-in-law would talk to her son? And what kind of example is that for the girls, for crying out loud?

 

But I'm sure, and I mean SURE, that someone will disagree with me. ;)

[LG Gone Wild]

We ahve watched it since the first season - Kate has seen herself on tv now, gotten emails and comments - and is trying to act nicer. That said - the woman has problems (not least of which is allowing tv crew to film your kids all the time????).

 

We call it "watching the train wreck" here.

 

That's true, she did mention trying to change. When they first appeared, I really disliked Jon. He was cutting towards her. She asked if he was resentful and he said no. Well, he sure acted like it and I think that phase in their life shaped how she treats him today.

 

She may be trying to change but she has other negatives which make her an unsympathetic character.

[Karenciavo]

I'm not familiar with the show but I can get the general picture from reading your post and the responses to it.

 

My question is if anybody did, would s/he admit it?

 

My sister talks to her husband like that. I cringe, but they've been "happily" married for 27 years with 5 children, none of whom, btw, talk to their dad the way my sister does. It works for them I guess :shrug: I can't stomach the show myself, my sister I can take in small doses ;)

[HRAAB]

Glad to know I'm not the only one who finds her behavior disrespectful. No, I do not talk to my dh like that. I have my moments where I might get a little snitty, but I catch myself pretty quickly.

 

One reason I'm aware of this is because of my mil. She makes Kate look good. I've many times walked out of the room because I cannot listen to her speak to fil. She has mellowed some in old age - she's 85 - but she still has one heck of a sharp tongue. Not nice.

 

So dh and I are both aware of this, and I've told him to give me the 'eye' if I start to remind him of his mother.

 

Janet

[dangermom]

What the heck show are you talking about?? This thread is a total mystery.

 

And I am not rude to my husband. We tease each other in a friendly way, but that's pretty much it.

[Nicole M]

Is this a "reality TV" show? And does this woman have a set quints or something along with a few singletons? I read something in a doctor's office waiting room about a family that is on TV that traveled to Hawaii for a second wedding. Is this the family?

 

Sounds like they need some counseling, not cameras in their house.

 

In general, I don't watch any TV, but the few glimpses I have seen alarm me, in the disparaging way that men are represented, especially fathers.

[Murphy101]

due to the inferences made here as to what she says or how she says it

 

but I've never seen any of these shows, the Duggars, Kate and Jon...

 

EVERYONE is constantly asking me if I know them though.

:001_huh:

 

That said, as bad as she may be, the husband letting her treat him that way woudl annoy me more than her behavior. not saying that's logical, just saying it's hard for me to feel too badly for someone who is a willing participant.

[CAMom]

Is this a "reality TV" show? And does this woman have a set quints or something along with a few singletons? I read something in a doctor's office waiting room about a family that is on TV that traveled to Hawaii for a second wedding. Is this the family?

 

 

 

Yes, that's them. The have a set of twins and a set of sextuplets.

[Tabrett]

I love to watch the Duggers. One comment a child made on the show was how gentle the mother always talked. I watched Jon and kate once and immediately didn't like her. I've never watched it again. I also don't like how the Little People's wife acts. Her husband seem so nice and sincere.

[LaxMom]

I love to watch the Duggers. One comment a child made on the show was how gentle the mother always talked. I watched Jon and kate once and immediately didn't like her. I've never watched it again. I also don't like how the Little People's wife acts. Her husband seem so nice and sincere.

 

That's funny. I can't stand to watch that show because of him.

 

Yes, I have probably spoken to my husband as Kate talks to Jon. (Ok, I know I have, on fairly regular occasions) My children are the same ages as theirs, except I have 1/2 as opposed to 2/6. You will notice how she gets less crazy and shrewish as the children get older? Not a coincidence. At the point that I had, literally, not slept more than 90 consecutive minutes at a time in 2 1/2 years, I was, perhaps, not the most... understanding? patient? human? person my husband ever lived with. And, on his side, he did not always employ that which could pass as logic in "helping" with our daily life. I, thankfully, did not have my crazy filmed for prime time, however.

 

There you go. Did it. Admitted it.

[EKS]

I can't stand that show.

[JudoMom]

I'm not familiar with the show but I can get the general picture from reading your post and the responses to it.

 

My question is if anybody did, would s/he admit it?

 

I've never seen the show.

 

But I'll say that I've tried talking to my dh like I gather she talks to hers. Much moreso during the first 7 years of marriage than the last 4.5 years of marriage.

 

And I'll just say that talking like to my dh went over like a pregnant pole vaulter.

[MrsMe]

Not me. I saw this show, started watching it and just added it to more toxic tv. I don't care that they renewed their vows. I think it's tacky.

[Carrie12345]

Dh and I have definitely had our moments. I don't think it's a mere coincidence that we had most of those moments when ds was 5 and going through ASD evaluations, and the girls (both colicky) were 1 and newborn. It was a very difficult time.

 

That said, I would like to smack Kate. And her husband.:tongue_smilie:

[OnTheBrink]

I had a post typed out and it got eaten by the cybermonsters.

 

Anyway, I can remember talking to my EX like that during the last year of our marriage. I had lost all respect and love for him. I can't say I'm proud of that; his bad behavior doesn't justify mine. I can't imagine loving and respecting a man and talking to him the way she does.

 

I pray and pray that God will bring into my life a good man whom I can love and respect (and NOT have 8 kids with! LOL), and who will love me in return. I really hope for a second chance at marriage.

[KingM]

I can't watch that show for this very reason, but remember that the only thing real about a reality show is the title. The producers can create whatever narrative they want by selective editing.

 

No doubt that this woman does sometimes use this tone of voice with her husband, but I'm also guessing that the producers have pegged her as the shrew and comb through the hundreds of hours of tape in order to find her speaking in the crabbiest voice possible.

[Rose in BC]

I'm certainly not perfect and have sometimes spoken in a less than ideal manner but I always apologize and try not to create a pattern of behaviour. I want to speak respectfully to my husband because I expect him to speak respectively to me. I also know we model behaviour for our children, and I certainly would not want them to model disrespectful speech.

[Dawn E]

To be completely honest, when I first watched the show, I cringed at her harshness, not just because it was harsh, but because I identified with her lack of self-control. I can not justify my behavior, though I have learned that if I have not gotten enough sleep, food, quiet...things that disappear when children enter the equation...I can quickly go into -itchy mode. Thankfully I have a wonderful dh who gently calls me on it when I head down this path, and I take action to pull the reigns in. It is very unfortunate that one of the things in my childhood that I definitely wanted to leave behind--the tone of voice and harsh rants my mother would sometimes attack with--are things I have to fight against most.

[Blueridge]

OK...I am also completely in the dark, and this show sounds eerie and fascinating. What is the name of it? Thanks~

Ginger

[hsmamainva]

I saw maybe 15 minutes of an episode, once, and that was enough for me!

 

I couldn't stand the wife / mother. She was shrieking at her husband and smacking him and I realized that I didn't want to waste my time. Haven't tuned in since.

[Blueridge]

Well, what do ya know...I googled Jon and Kate and found it. :lol:

Edited October 25, 2008 by Blueridge
spelling

[OnTheBrink]

OK...I am also completely in the dark, and this show sounds eerie and fascinating. What is the name of it? Thanks~

Ginger

 

Jon and Kate Plus 8. It's on TLC, I think.

[Blueridge]

Thanks...you are FAST!

Ginger

[hsmamainva]

OK...I am also completely in the dark, and this show sounds eerie and fascinating. What is the name of it? Thanks~

Ginger

 

I *think* it's called "John and Kate Plus Eight" ... no idea what network it's on, but I know it's one of the cable channels like Lifetime or something.

[Scarlett]

That's funny. I can't stand to watch that show because of him.

 

Yes, I have probably spoken to my husband as Kate talks to Jon. (Ok, I know I have, on fairly regular occasions) My children are the same ages as theirs, except I have 1/2 as opposed to 2/6. You will notice how she gets less crazy and shrewish as the children get older? Not a coincidence. At the point that I had, literally, not slept more than 90 consecutive minutes at a time in 2 1/2 years, I was, perhaps, not the most... understanding? patient? human? person my husband ever lived with. And, on his side, he did not always employ that which could pass as logic in "helping" with our daily life. I, thankfully, did not have my crazy filmed for prime time, however.

 

There you go. Did it. Admitted it.

 

Thank you! I thought I was going to read the entire thread and find no one who would admit to any Kate traits! Whew. Ok, I agree she can be snippy, BUT he has a very condescending tone toward her at times too. Not to mention they are overworked and totally stressed out...things seem much better to me now that the 6 are 4 years old.

 

I think they are great. They seem so real and I guess that is because it is more like my own life.

[newbie]

Thank you! I thought I was going to read the entire thread and find no one who would admit to any Kate traits! Whew. Ok, I agree she can be snippy, BUT he has a very condescending tone toward her at times too. Not to mention they are overworked and totally stressed out...things seem much better to me now that the 6 are 4 years old.

 

I think they are great. They seem so real and I guess that is because it is more like my own life.

 

:iagree:Sorry, to say, this is my fav. show, and yes I see many traits in her I have, I think its the perfectionist, and there's nothing wrong w/that.

[Deeke]

I think they are great. They seem so real and I guess that is because it is more like my own life.

 

Me too, I like them both.

[Scarlett]

I can't watch that show for this very reason, but remember that the only thing real about a reality show is the title. The producers can create whatever narrative they want by selective editing.

 

No doubt that this woman does sometimes use this tone of voice with her husband, but I'm also guessing that the producers have pegged her as the shrew and comb through the hundreds of hours of tape in order to find her speaking in the crabbiest voice possible.

 

EXACTLY. And if you watch the part where they sit in the chair together and sort of discuss the weeks events you get a feel for their tenderness and love toward each other.

[mom2att]

Is anyone else alarmed by this, or are there people out there who thinks this is perfectly normal and okay?

 

I have to confess that I really like Jon & Kate Plus Eight. And no, I don't talk to my husband that way. I think Kate's just that kind of person, and she comes across as very real on the show. Jon's response is usually just to roll his eyes at her, and then she'll give him a playful slap. It's the give and take of their relationship, and it's a whole lot less alarming than something like, say Married with Children. J & K have this sort of back-and-forth banter, and while she may not be all sweet and syrupy, she's not profane or screaming or passed out on the couch with a cigarette and a drink. She's a mom who is obviously committed to her kids and her marriage, and what you see on the screen is just a tiny piece of their lives together (heavily edited, of course). She's a strong personality who must have things just so, and maybe it's because I can relate to her that I appreciate her "realness" so much. I watched one episode where she admitted that she mops her kitchen floor something like 3 times a day, and I figured if six 2-year-olds couldn't cure her of an obsession like that, she was probably going to have to move forward and make the best of it, mopping all the while. I think she's done just that--she knows herself, Jon knows her, her kids know her, and they're all moving along pretty happily, it seems. I think they're a family who love each other, have a lot of fun together, and don't take themselves too seriously.

[Pink Fairy]

I used to love that show--they seemed like such "real" people, obviously overwhelmed and doing their best to cope. I have to admit, though, that these days the whole thing is too commercial for my taste. Does Jon even have a job anymore? Clearly, they are now a product--it just doesn't appeal to me. Not that I blame them for cashing in, but it's not as interesting. Kate's acerbic temper, Jon's passive aggressive ways, the struggle to handle eight little ones--that's what I loved!

 

I guess the above is OT, so I'll admit that in my early married days, I was a little like Kate (maybe a lot). Time and maturity have made me a better wife, I hope, mostly because my husband is a wonderful man who deserves to be treated with love and respect. :001_wub:

[Lovedtodeath]

That's funny. I can't stand to watch that show because of him.

 

Yes, I have probably spoken to my husband as Kate talks to Jon. (Ok, I know I have, on fairly regular occasions) My children are the same ages as theirs, except I have 1/2 as opposed to 2/6. You will notice how she gets less crazy and shrewish as the children get older? Not a coincidence. At the point that I had, literally, not slept more than 90 consecutive minutes at a time in 2 1/2 years, I was, perhaps, not the most... understanding? patient? human? person my husband ever lived with. And, on his side, he did not always employ that which could pass as logic in "helping" with our daily life. I, thankfully, did not have my crazy filmed for prime time, however.

 

There you go. Did it. Admitted it.

 

:cheers2: You would not believe how badly I talked to my DH or the kids for that matter when I had PPD.

 

Still have no idea what show this is. LOL OH! I found it.:D

[Holly IN]

I didn't read any post.

 

So just responding to OP. I am mortified at how she talks to him. I have no idea why they are married. I do not talk to my dh that way at all. I was sick after watching that show for the first time. I just couldn't believe it. Yet, he replies to the camera that he is to blame. Oh! I wanted to smack him for letting her talk to him that way.

 

:glare::glare:

 

Holly

[Kari C in SC]

That's funny. I can't stand to watch that show because of him.

 

Yes, I have probably spoken to my husband as Kate talks to Jon. (Ok, I know I have, on fairly regular occasions) My children are the same ages as theirs, except I have 1/2 as opposed to 2/6. You will notice how she gets less crazy and shrewish as the children get older? Not a coincidence. At the point that I had, literally, not slept more than 90 consecutive minutes at a time in 2 1/2 years, I was, perhaps, not the most... understanding? patient? human? person my husband ever lived with. And, on his side, he did not always employ that which could pass as logic in "helping" with our daily life. I, thankfully, did not have my crazy filmed for prime time, however.

 

There you go. Did it. Admitted it.

 

:iagree:

 

I only have ONE 4 year old and sometimes I feel like I may lose my mind. I can't imagine having 6 of them. We have watched the show since the beginning and have noticed that some of the stress seems to have lifted from them. They have both talked about the way they address each other and how for this time in their life - it may not be the nicest, but it is real. I really think unless somebody has had that many small children and lived in their shoes - they have no idea how they may act. I also do not think it is an awful thing for them to film their family a few hours a week. This has allowed dad to work consulting from home. A big plus in my book. Personally, I can't stand the Duggars because they seem fake. I much prefer watching a mom that loses it from time to time because that is more similar to my life.

[Kari C in SC]

I guess the above is OT, so I'll admit that in my early married days, I was a little like Kate (maybe a lot). Time and maturity have made me a better wife, I hope, mostly because my husband is a wonderful man who deserves to be treated with love and respect. :001_wub:

 

Yep! They are actually fairly young too. Jon is 31 and Kate is 33 (I think). That makes them 26 and 29 when they had 8 children aged 3 and under. I would be a wreck! I think that time and maturity play a big roll in it.

[Renee in NC]

Am I glad to know I'm not the only woman that has that reaction to that show! It drives me beserk. Well, I should say it did, we don't have cable anymore. But I can't stand the way she talks to her husband.

 

And no, I'm not perfect. :D But it truly is so upsetting. I mean, one day her boys may be husbands, is that the way she hopes her daughter-in-law would talk to her son? And what kind of example is that for the girls, for crying out loud?

 

But I'm sure, and I mean SURE, that someone will disagree with me. ;)

 

I can't watch that show because of how she is. Ugghhh!

[lynn]

The lady has 8 kids. I've heard her say several times something like "I only want Jon to recognize when I'm stressed and ask me how he can help" and in the 3 year's I've been watching he still does not get it.

 

The other thing that gets under my skin is Maddy and her whining. That girl can't handle anything. Yikes. Is this what I have to look forward to having a dd?

[Pamela H in Texas]

I've only seen like 3 episodes on YouTube and I cringe when I heard her be ugly to him, but....If each episode comes on once a week and that is THE time she's ugly with him each time? I'm probably ugly to my hubby once every week or two.

 

Thankfully, love can cover a quick snap (the episode in mind is the Sight and Sound theater one).

 

I don't know. If I had cable, I might watch the show. As it is, I have only an antenna getting broadcasts from Dallas on a very finicky tv on its last leg so don't watch much of anything.

[PineFarmMom]

:iagree:

 

I only have ONE 4 year old and sometimes I feel like I may lose my mind. I can't imagine having 6 of them. We have watched the show since the beginning and have noticed that some of the stress seems to have lifted from them. They have both talked about the way they address each other and how for this time in their life - it may not be the nicest, but it is real. I really think unless somebody has had that many small children and lived in their shoes - they have no idea how they may act. I also do not think it is an awful thing for them to film their family a few hours a week. This has allowed dad to work consulting from home. A big plus in my book. Personally, I can't stand the Duggars because they seem fake. I much prefer watching a mom that loses it from time to time because that is more similar to my life.

 

I have to agree with you on this. I do shock at times over Kate's words towards Jon. At times, though, he can seem like one of the kids in his own irresponsibilities. If they filmed the way we run our home there are, doubtless to me, some things others would not like. I definitely have issues with Kate & Jon, but there are things I like about their management of their home also. It may be a process for them, just as well as dh and I have gone through a process...we just don't have a camera on us.

 

I have to say, though, that I definitely find the show more real than the Duggars. I had always respected the Duggars for their decisions to follow God with their children. As I have watched more of their shows, it seems that they are all so plastic and fake sweet, for the cameras. Maybe I'm totally wrong and they really ARE that sweet, but I just don't know anyone who talks the way that mom talks all the time. I also felt extremely uncomfortable with their show where the oldest son got engaged. I couldn't BELIEVE he and his fiance were praying at a table in the middle of a restaurant and thanking God that they had remained pure. We pray in restaurants, so that's not my issue. The topic was just weird. It seemed that they weren't praying that prayer to God, but praying that so they could be heard by cameras and people. I don't like those kinds of prayers!! It was very put on and something just didn't sit well with me about that whole episode. Ick.

[ChemMommy]

I try hard to remember that I am not the blessed mother of eight highly demanding kids, but still! She is very harsh and demeaning to him. Of course, this is an edited for TV show and TV probably likes the "drama" of her sharp tongue more than it likes the sweet words she speaks.

 

Whenever we watch this show, which isn't too often because of how her marriage is portrayed, I use it as an an opportunity to discuss with my 3 girls how wives and husbands should treat each other!

 

We do the same thing with the "Supernanny" shows except we talk about good parenting skills v. the ones they see on TV.

 

I think Jon is a saint to put up with her speech, though! Ugh!

[CAMom]

The lady has 8 kids. I've heard her say several times something like "I only want Jon to recognize when I'm stressed and ask me how he can help" and in the 3 year's I've been watching he still does not get it.

 

 

 

I've been married for almost 20 years and men (in general) don't get it. They never will.:lol:

 

I learned a long time ago that my husband does not recognize when I'm stressed. He's not a mind reader. If I say, "Honey, I'm stressed and can't do it all. Can you help me by X,Y Z," he will jump to it and do whatever is necessary.

 

If we sit around expecting our husbands to "get it" and read our minds, we set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration. You have to be specific with men.;)

 

That said, I have no doubt that Jon and Kate love each other but I still can't stand the way she talks to him and it would only serve to tear down instead of build up in my house.:)