Top concerns as a homeschool mom

[Woodland_Mom]

Happy New Year everyone!

 

I am giving a talk about the New Year and new beginnings this week.  Help me do a little research: What are some of your top concerns as a homeschool mom?  I will give a few of mine:

 

1.  I'm not doing "enough"

2.  We are behind in studying for the SAT

3.  I'm not spending enough time instructing my kids - too much of their learning is on their own.

 

How about you? 

 

 

[2_girls_mommy]

Money is always a concern since we live on one income.

 

Messy house/ meal planning. I have methods and blogs I use to help me keep up. But it's tough to balance. 

 

School: I am happy with what we do. I could always spend more one on one with each of mine. I felt last semester that I was doing really well with one dd, but as I assessed the semester, I felt I didn't spend enough with the other. So I rewrote our schedule for this semester to balance it more evenly. Not to mention I don't want to just plop the toddler in front of TV all day, so keeping her engaged is high on my list too in between studying older subjects. In all though I do think they get as much or probably more instruction time and one on one than they would in another school situation, and both are progressing well. 

 

 

 

 

[Minerva]

Finding the elusive balance between delight driven learning and rigorous academics.

 

 

 

[Milknhoney]

My kids spend too much time at home. We need to get them out and around other kids more.

[...................]

I worry that my son would get more at the public school.  They offer 13 AP classes, math club, etc.  

 

I worry that my dd would have been happier getting out of the house for 7 hours 5 days per week than she is getting out a few hours 3-4 days per week.  

 

Financially, to do it the way we want is expensive.  

[Woodland_Mom]

Finding the elusive balance between delight driven learning and rigorous academics.

Yes, this.  Balance is so hard to find.

[NikiSC]

Money. We're approaching high school in the fall. In order to provide what's best for DS it's going to be more expensive than I imagined.

 

Trying to balance housework, meal prep, and homeschooling.

[Miss Tick]

I struggle to balance the hours needed to study all the things we want or need to study and free time. So much of my mental energy goes into this.

[Guest]

Top concern: That I'm inadvertently going to "close a door" for my high schooler, without realizing it. I know it's impossible to cover everything, and I know public schools don't cover everything. But they get a rubber stamp that says good enough simply by being public schools and I do not.....so there's that. It's also finding that fine line between enjoying the freedom of homeschooling and following interests, while still having to box check the stupid public school and college requirements (even when they're completely pointless) so that they can get into college afterwards. 

 

 

[KristaJ]

1.  Am I giving enough one-on-one time to each kid throughout the day?

2.  Is my oldest being challenged enough?

3.  Are we getting out of the house enough? 

[Farrar]

The kids' general moodiness. 12 is hard.

 

My moodiness. Apparently 40 is also hard.

 

If we get into specifics, I guess I'm concerned that Mushroom pushes himself too hard and that BalletBoy needs to be pushed harder but I keep not quite figuring out how.

[freesia]

I worry that my son would get more at the public school.  They offer 13 AP classes, math club, etc.  

 

I worry that my dd would have been happier getting out of the house for 7 hours 5 days per week than she is getting out a few hours 3-4 days per week.  

 

Financially, to do it the way we want is expensive.  

 

Are we the same person. LOL

[MaryMak07]

We are just starting out (K this year).

 

Stresses: money. It was already tight being a one income family before factoring in curriculum (I'm drawn to the pricey ones - AAR, Right Start, Sonlight). Plus it's expensive to think about art, music, sports etc that are provided in public schools but we would have to pay for (not doing any of those things this year, or probably for the next several years).

 

Worrying my kids are missing or will miss something.

[8filltheheart]

Top concern: That I'm inadvertently going to "close a door" for my high schooler, without realizing it. I know it's impossible to cover everything, and I know public schools don't cover everything. But they get a rubber stamp that says good enough simply by being public schools and I do not.....so there's that. It's also finding that fine line between enjoying the freedom of homeschooling and following interests, while still having to box check the stupid public school and college requirements (even when they're completely pointless) so that they can get into college afterwards. 

 

I know this thread is about the OP's wanting to know concerns, but your post made me want to reassure you. My kids have applied just like any other student. I have created their transcripts, written a school profile, provided course descriptions, and written a letter of recommendation.  Those are all things available to universities from ps.  Our provideing them is not providing anything different than any other school.

 

Honestly, other than a handful of schools, most schools do not make homeschoolers jump through additional hoops. If a school does, it is a choice as to whether or not your child wants to jump.  My kids say, "No."  My dd had thought about applying to URichmond, but they wanted 4 specific subjects tests from homeschoolers. She didn't want to take them, so she moved on.  The schools that want the extras are far fewer than schools that don't expect them.

 

For my current sr, she has applied to a broad range of schools, and from the ones we have heard from, she has been accepted to all with scholarships and to their honors colleges.  Her classes were mostly interest driven.  She definitely took full advantage of homeschooling's freedom.  Where she definitely took courses that check off college prep boxes are sciences b/c she would rather take more literature and foreign language classes than science, but those 4 science credits were necessary.  But the responses she has received from universities has been enthusiasm at her love for learning and her initiative to pursue what she loves.

 

Just wanted to share our experience b/c we are in the minority on these forums.  Our high school absolutely does not resemble the AP driven approach that most on the high school/college boards pursue.  All's good.

 

Where it matters is if your child is targeting a specific school.  Then that school's policies are the ones you have to navigate. Falling in love with a single school is a no-no  in our household.  ;)

[...................]

Are we the same person. LOL

We agree a lot.  LOL

[Guest]

I know this thread is about the OP's wanting to know concerns, but your post made me want to reassure you. My kids have applied just like any other student. I have created their transcripts, written a school profile, provided course descriptions, and written a letter of recommendation.  Those are all things available to universities from ps.  Our provideing them is not providing anything different than any other school.

 

Honestly, other than a handful of schools, most schools do not make homeschoolers jump through additional hoops. If a school does, it is a choice as to whether or not your child wants to jump.  My kids say, "No."  My dd had thought about applying to URichmond, but they wanted 4 specific subjects tests from homeschoolers. She didn't want to take them, so she moved on.  The schools that want the extras are far fewer than schools that don't expect them.

 

For my current sr, she has applied to a broad range of schools, and from the ones we have heard from, she has been accepted to all with scholarships and to their honors colleges.  Her classes were mostly interest driven.  She definitely took full advantage of homeschooling's freedom.  Where she definitely took courses that check off college prep boxes are sciences b/c she would rather take more literature and foreign language classes than science, but those 4 science credits were necessary.  But the responses she has received from universities has been enthusiasm at her love for learning and her initiative to pursue what she loves.

 

Just wanted to share our experience b/c we are in the minority on these forums.  Our high school absolutely does not resemble the AP driven approach that most on the high school/college boards pursue.  All's good.

 

Where it matters is if your child is targeting a specific school.  Then that school's policies are the ones you have to navigate. Falling in love with a single school is a no-no  in our household.   ;)

 

Thank you for the reassurance. Sometimes I need to come out of the trees. We aren't even looking at a four year right now, but rather CC to University. That being said, I sometimes wonder if she will change her mind on that- she's so all over the board with what she wants to do career wise, yet has no input student wise, that I can just see her changing her mind and having to retake a bunch of classes at a later point as a Freshman because we didn't cover those bases before. I know worry is pointless- but it's hard listening to all of the PS parents we know right now, talking about the distinguished track and all of the elective specialty classes their kids take- they basically declare a college major in 8th grade. Tis the season for class selection for next year.  It's nuts. I know. I'm so glad we aren't in that. 

 

And your bolded is exactly where we are right now. She keeps toying with sciences, but her passion lies more in the whole history/lit field, so I'm box checking in science until the kid finds some direction in life. :) Last summer was FBI, now it's following somewhat after me into epidemiology. We will see. But definitely- thank you for the reality check! :)

[SparklyUnicorn]

need to do more writing

 

 

[Garga]

Trying to figure out what materials are really at the right level.  

 

Worrying that the curric I pick will be a dud and we'll waste a whole year of learning with nothing to show for it

 

Wondering how to pay for college

 

Wondering how to apply to college

 

Wondering if I've missed something that's obvious to everyone else.  My son is in 9th, and I only heard about the ACT test about 1.5 years ago.  That's a pretty big thing for me not to know anything about when we were that close to high school.  I hope there are no more surprises like that!  I worry that I don't know what I don't know and so I don't even know what questions to ask.  I *think* I'm ok, because I read almost every single high school post on this board and have been obsessively for the past year.

 

Wondering if I'm not the best teacher for my student in writing (and someone else might have a different subject.)  I can teach the hows, but he just sits there staring at the wall and can't come up with the simplest of ideas.  Why?  Am I doing something wrong?  Is it developmental?

 

How do I know if something is developmental and expected for each age, or something is wrong with my particular student or me as a teacher?

 

Cost.  It was fine until the water started backing up in the sewer pipe and my car needed to be fixed and we have to pay for braces, etc.  It's starting to be tougher to pay for things.  And I'm outsourcing 3 classes next year.  Two of them are a steal at under $450 each, but the other is about $700, which is average.  It's expensive to outsource. That's $1600 right there and there are still 4 more classes to go, plus a younger brother.

 

Worrying that my son will do badly on tests.  I get chills when people post "My kid got a 5 billion on the SAT and didn't study."  I had my kid take the PSAT this year, just for kicks so he would see what it's like to take the test (it doesn't count at all in 9th) and he did NOT get 5 billion on it without studying.  He got exactly what I think a 9th grader who hadn't studied and had never, ever taken a test in that environment would get--a meh score!  Yeah, sure I expected the meh score and honestly only had him take it so he'd know what the environment is like, but at the same time, I worry that he won't be ready in 2 years.  Why couldn't he have been one of those kids who takes it in 9th grade and gets an amazing score?  Have I been doing something wrong?  Who are these kids who do that??

 

I worry that I'll think I've taught him, but didn't incorporate enough review and so all the knowledge has gone in one ear and out the other, which wouldn't be a super, duper big deal (the old 'use it or lose it' idea) except for the SATs and ACTs.  You can't just forget about Algebra as soon as you learn it or you bomb the tests and then lose all shots at merit money (See above about paying for college.)

 

Um...I think that's it.  And isn't that more than enough!?!

 

Edited January 10, 2017 by Garga

[madteaparty]

Socialization

Socialization

Socialization

Everything else we have totally figured out 😂

[Janeway]

Finding the elusive balance between delight driven learning and rigorous academics.

This is a biggie for me too.

[lovinmyboys]

I'm glad I am not the only one who worries about friends/playtime/socializing. It seems like homeschoolers I know scoff at that, and I am like sometimes my kids go a few days and see no one but me and their brothers. Is that really healthy?

[Guest]

 

Cost.  It was fine until the water started backing up in the sewer pipe and my car needed to be fixed and we have to pay for braces, etc.  It's starting to be tougher to pay for things.  And I'm outsourcing 3 classes next year.  Two of them are a steal at under $450 each, but the other is about $700, which is average.  It's expensive to outsource. That's $1600 right there and there are still 4 more classes to go, plus a younger brother.

 

 

 

 

Yes, this is definitely becoming more of an issue here as well, just in time for new driver's licenses and accompanying auto insurance rates too. Throw in a couple of extra curriculars (which are oh so plentiful and affordable for teenagers :001_rolleyes: ) and one's wallet begins to hemorrhage. Obviously not as expensive as private school, but no where near as cheap as public school! And my state give you zilch towards it- no credits, no tax deductions. Nothing. You homeschool, you're on your own compared to some other places I read about here! When people hear you say it's expensive to homeschool they look at you like you've grown a third head. I guess they assume we're using library books and perhaps slates à la  Little House on the Prairie? But yes, the cost of homeschooling high school is going to run us a few grand next year. That becomes even scarier thinking of having two in there at the same time for the younger crew I have. It will be a preview of college I guess. 

[Carrie12345]

Our homeschool has grown and changed so much over the past decade, and it's been a beautiful thing.  And yet I still worry that being too much like the public schools defeats the entire point, while also worrying that being too unlike the public schools will screw up future opportunities.

 

So I guess my concern is that I can't win.  :willy_nilly:

[Noreen Claire]

Socialization!

[G5052]

All along we had financial concerns for reasons outside of homeschooling. 

 

Well, we made it. I work full-time from home, DH is retired for medical reasons, and we graduate our youngest in June.

 

But the finances were always in the back of my mind.

Edited October 25, 2017 by G5052

[Garga]

Our homeschool has grown and changed so much over the past decade, and it's been a beautiful thing. And yet I still worry that being too much like the public schools defeats the entire point, while also worrying that being too unlike the public schools will screw up future opportunities.

 

So I guess my concern is that I can't win. :willy_nilly:

 

So much this!! It wasn't as big a deal until 9th grade. But now, the grades count and there is a transcript of the grade. I find myself doinng school at home more than ever and I don't like it.

[PeterPan]

That I'll get cancer from too much stress. (My ds has SN and is pretty intense.)

 

That he would be better off in school.

 

That I'll fail and only see it in hindsight, when it's too late.

 

That I'll be so busy with seemingly important goals that I'll miss or fail to accomplish the TRULY important.

Edited January 10, 2017 by OhElizabeth

[WistfulRidge]

My kids spend too much time at home. We need to get them out and around other kids more.

 

This. Kind of.

 

Like others have said it's not a "socialization" issue but more of a "socializing" issue. My kids are polite, friendly, and have no problem interacting, talking, or playing with anyone from toddler to adult. They're good there. BUT... we are an entire family of introverts. Plus, a few of us have various anxiety issues. We are perfectly content to go weeks​ at a time when we only leave the house to shop for groceries and possibly make a trip to the library. (I feel like I need to point out that the kids are pretty good friends with the neighbor kids and do play with them 2-5 times a week so we're not complete recluses!)

 

I do finally feel like we're in a place emotionally/mentally this year that we can do some outside activities that we haven't done previously (I'm thinking music lessons and community soccer) but I feel like we're kind of adrift as far as homeschool socializing. All of the local groups are religious based ones and while I have zero issue with that we're definitely more on the secular side of things and I wouldn't be able to honestly sign the statements of faith that are required to join the groups. So...

 

Outside of that...

 

I'd say I'm pretty content/secure in the actual academics of what we're doing but definitely feel that "Am I doing enough? What do I force? What do I let go?" struggle for balance.

 

Plus the ongoing war to find the balance between school-personal time-housework etc.

[madteaparty]

Nm

Edited January 10, 2017 by madteaparty

[Valley Girl]

Top concern: That I'm inadvertently going to "close a door" for my high schooler, without realizing it. I know it's impossible to cover everything, and I know public schools don't cover everything. But they get a rubber stamp that says good enough simply by being public schools and I do not.....so there's that. It's also finding that fine line between enjoying the freedom of homeschooling and following interests, while still having to box check the stupid public school and college requirements (even when they're completely pointless) so that they can get into college afterwards. 

 

This. I worry about how to check the boxes when my high schooler (special needs) makes virtually everything an exercise in resistance. I want him to have options to the extent possible, and I worry that he won't and will blame me.

[Bluegoat]

Money, for sure.

 

Balancing younger kids needs with that of olders who need more intensive teaching.

 

What to do with kids that seem to be really resisting me being a teacher or schoolwork more generally.  Mainly in terms of me feeling on a yo yo between wanting to immolate everyone, or feeling that I am becoming a mean mom.

[RenaInTexas]

Current: Spending non-school time with them ---- after a day of homeschooling, I want a break / alone time, but I don't want the only interaction with my kids to be school.

 

Future: Getting into college (bias against HSers / higher requirements for HSers), missing out on high school opportunities (programs available to PS high schoolers)

[Ms Brooks]

Top concern from a long-time homeschool mom (20+ years) homeschooling last kiddo no.4.

 

1. The cost of doing high school well. $$$$$

 

2. Making sure DD has job skills and life skill, as well as academic skills

 

3. What to let go of and let DD make her own choice balanced by what to push regardless of what she might want at the time.

[Loowit]

1. Did I make the right choice?  I chose to homeschool for academics, and I think that is going well, but did I underestimate the social aspects of school.  DD has been having a hard time at youth group because of friend groups that have formed.  There are three major friend groups based on which of the three local high schools they attend and it makes DD left out a lot of the time.

 

2. Money.

 

3.  Meeting the needs for my two special needs children.  I know in reality that I have done my best, and better than our local school would have done, but I still wonder what I could be doing better/more.

[dragonflyer]

The kids' general moodiness. 12 is hard.

 

My moodiness. Apparently 40 is also hard.

 

If we get into specifics, I guess I'm concerned that Mushroom pushes himself too hard and that BalletBoy needs to be pushed harder but I keep not quite figuring out how.

 

What Farrar said.

I am most concerned about just being in each other's faces all day every day.  I have to push to get the school work done so we can play.  Sometimes they melt down.  Sometimes I melt down.

Sometimes so much of my time and energy is spent directing education, that I forget about all the things I love doing with my kids like playing games, and reading aloud, and going out for a treat.

[MeaganS]

Childcare so I can go to the dentist or get a haircut or a pap smear. (when I was pregnant with dd4, I just hauled my 3 bigger kids to all my appointments, gave them and iPad and sat them in the corner. Only once did one try to look under the sheet during a procedure.)

 

The clutter that never ever goes away no matter how often we clean. 5 girls being in a house almost 24/7 makes quite a bit of mess.

Edited January 10, 2017 by Meagan S

[SamanthaCarter]

Money; keeping up in everyday life; my own motivation for teaching/overseeing; my long term relationship with my kids - I envy the relationships that rare breed of SAHM with kids in school have with their kids.

 

 

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[SamanthaCarter]

Current: Spending non-school time with them ---- after a day of homeschooling, I want a break / alone time, but I don't want the only interaction with my kids to be school.

 

 

This is what I was trying to get at with my last comment.

 

 

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[LMD]

Homeschooling is hard. Harder than it sounds like in books/blogs. I worry that I'm just not enough to pull it off.

[Guest]

Sometimes I think all of us here are on a different planet. And then I read threads like this and realize that we are all in the exact same boat.  :grouphug: mamas!

 

My biggest concern at this point is, like Texasmama said, inadvertently closing a door to my kids' future because we didn't do something right or check off a box.

 

My second biggest concern is that I'm not socializing enough, or with the right people, or . . . yeah, we just can't win, can we? 

[abba12]

The littlest one getting ignored or left behind because she isn't old enough to join in most things

 

Perfectionism and getting upset at all the little things we miss or which don't go right 

 

 

[Reefgazer]

My top worries:  Finding balance between academic rigor and allowing my children time to pursue their own interests.

 

 

[BlsdMama]

Happy New Year everyone!

 

I am giving a talk about the New Year and new beginnings this week.  Help me do a little research: What are some of your top concerns as a homeschool mom?  I will give a few of mine:

 

1.  I'm not doing "enough"

2.  We are behind in studying for the SAT

3.  I'm not spending enough time instructing my kids - too much of their learning is on their own.

 

How about you? 

 

 

Families tend to be larger than average and so time to give to each child tends to be something people voice.  Moms fear doing longterm harm.  Balance between home and school is a challenge. 

 

:)

[Garga]

What kind of world am I preparing them for?

When I was a kid I felt like I got a very clear message: get good grades, get scholarships to college, then you will have a good job. Well, I did those things and turns out it is not that simple, especially when you graduate with a bunch of debt in the height of a recession. So what message should I be sending them? Prepare for college only if you go stem? Trade school? Entrepreneurial skills? Heck some days I wonder if I should just teach them wilderness skills!

I am trying to give them a classical education, knowledgefor its own sake, but I know I also need to prepare them for independence, and I have no idea what the best way to do that is. It stresses me out sometimes.

Sooooo much this. So much. In some ways, college is what a high school diploma used to be, so it's not necessarily the track to financial security that it used to be. In fact, the debt of college can end up being someone's financial downfall. But without college, it's hard to get a decent job.

 

Sure, I'd love the kids to "do what they love" but my kids don't "love" anything. So, they'll have to find something to do that earns them enough money to live off of. So that means college...but that means debt...

 

I don't know how to prepare them for a world I no longer understand. It's impossible to predict what jobs will be obsolete in the next few years.

[2_girls_mommy]

The kids' general moodiness. 12 is hard.

 

My moodiness. Apparently 40 is also hard.

 

If we get into specifics, I guess I'm concerned that Mushroom pushes himself too hard and that BalletBoy needs to be pushed harder but I keep not quite figuring out how.

Holy cow, I am so used to dealing with the moodiness that I didn't even think of it. It, theirs, mine, and how to deal with it more effectively, takes up more of my daily thoughts than the things I put hands down. 

[2_girls_mommy]

So much worry on here. I hope most people have found peace most of the time with most of these. I know in general I do feel I, and the homeschoolers I know, are doing enough and are doing great. The kids I have seen grow up have moved onto college or other things they wanted to do. The ones that didn't are truly the ones that would have had similar results from public school most likely anyway just because of their family cultures. I think most of our fears are unfounded as long as we are working constantly to do the best and are searching for the answers. Maybe I am a little PollyAnna. :) I just felt kind of sad with reading all of the worries.

[Garga]

So much worry on here. I hope most people have found peace most of the time with most of these. I know in general I do feel I, and the homeschoolers I know, are doing enough and are doing great. The kids I have seen grow up have moved onto college or other things they wanted to do. The ones that didn't are truly the ones that would have had similar results from public school most likely anyway just because of their family cultures. I think most of our fears are unfounded as long as we are working constantly to do the best and are searching for the answers. Maybe I am a little PollyAnna. :) I just felt kind of sad with reading all of the worries.

 

 

 

Usually my worries are kept well under control.  But there are there and once in a while they like to pop up and yell "boo!" and give me a good scare.  

 

Worries might be too strong of a word, even.  It's more "challenges that I'm stuck dealing with, because as the homeschool mom, the buck stops here." 

[8filltheheart]

Sooooo much this. So much. In some ways, college is what a high school diploma used to be, so it's not necessarily the track to financial security that it used to be. In fact, the debt of college can end up being someone's financial downfall. But without college, it's hard to get a decent job.

 

Sure, I'd love the kids to "do what they love" but my kids don't "love" anything. So, they'll have to find something to do that earns them enough money to live off of. So that means college...but that means debt...

 

I don't know how to prepare them for a world I no longer understand. It's impossible to predict what jobs will be obsolete in the next few years.

It is possible to get decent jobs without 4 yr degrees. Many trades and Allied Health jobs pay decently well. (I guess it depends on their financial goals. Around the median household income seems to qualify as decent from my perspective.)

 

My oldest Dd only attended a 2 yr OTA program to become a COTA. She earns around $28/hr and is employed full time with full time benefits. She has friends who do PRN work and work about 28-30 hrs per week and make around $32 hr plus transportation costs. Their tuition for their program was around $2000/semester. (And with the aging population, I would assume OT therapy is going to be in more demand, not less.).

 

Attending schools where a lot of debt is accrued is perhaps a possible path to a career, but it is far from the only possible one.

 

Fwiw, I know kids going into welding bc they can't afford 4 yr schools and they will be making a great income.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

I fluctuate regularly between supreme confidence and gut-churning self-doubt. The swing can be from day to day, or week to week.

 

So my worries can be nothing or absolutely everything.

 

Not very helpful, but it is what it is.

[Guest]

Usually my worries are kept well under control.  But there are there and once in a while they like to pop up and yell "boo!" and give me a good scare.  

 

Worries might be too strong of a word, even.  It's more "challenges that I'm stuck dealing with, because as the homeschool mom, the buck stops here." 

 

:iagree:

 

I think of them as contemplations more than worries. I do try to address them positively, but they are areas that require deliberation, so I don't think it's bad necessarily to give them deep thought. Particularly those of us who have kids in high school or college. It IS worrisome because the world is changing and fast. 

 

There is perhaps only 2-5% of  :willy_nilly:  from me in our homeschool as a general rule, but threads like these tend to let the genie out of the bottle and I think are nice sometimes for us to get to talk through. It may make us collectively seem more obsessive than we really are. But it's not like people outside of this crazy thing called homeschooling "get it" enough to really be able to hash it out, no matter how understanding they try to be. So I do enjoy a good thread like this every once in a while. Sometimes you learn about things you would've never considered previously and other times someone says something to make your concerns melt away.