To wake or not to wake?

[4KookieKids]

I'm in the custom of letting my kids sleep until whenever they wake naturally. It's usually around six, but often somewhere between six and seven (and occasionally earlier). What I'm finding though is that having a variable start to our day makes planning other things harder. I'd like to have breakfast and chores done by 8 so we can have some family time in the morning and start other things by 9, etc.

 

I'm looking for advice on whether I should just chill our if I should start waking them at a consistent time. In particular, my kids are young (7,5,3,1) so I don't NEED to get much "school" done most days. On the other hand, I know myself and I know my kids, and I know that if our morning is too variable, we never really "recover" and the whole day is a bit chaotic.

 

Just looking for the wisdom of folks who've been there, done that. :)

[MotherGoose]

I wake. I don't want everyone rolling into breakfast at slightly different times. It's not like you are waking them thee hours early, it's realistically a few minutes.

[maize]

I wouldn't wake young kids. Early morning hours are when the body makes the most serotonin; you might disrupt that process by waking them before they would wake up naturally.

 

Can you put them to bed earlier? Or could you aim for 8:30 to have chores and breakfast out of the way?

[wintermom]

I never woke at the ages of your dc. They naturally got up earlier than I wanted to.  :laugh:   With my teens preteens they are sleeping in a lot later, so I'm having to wake them. We also have a lot more to get done during the day.

[Paige]

I wouldn't wake them- it's a perk of homeschooling! If they were sleeping until 10 or later I may feel differently. I wouldn't make breakfast at all hours either, however. If you miss breakfast you miss it, and maybe you can have some cereal to tide you over until lunch but no lollygagging at the table. 

 

But that's me. If you want them up it's not like it's mean or wrong. Different people have different tolerances for disruptions and unpredictability. 

[Jackie]

I don't wake. DD is 6 and often sleeps until 9:00 or so. It's one of the perks of homeschooling to follow our natural body rhythms.

[MyLife]

I do not wake my children. It's not like they are laying in bed being lazy. If they are asleep, I know their bodies need the sleep. They typically wake on their own around 7:15. We also eat breakfast late, around 9:30. Sometimes we start school before breakfast, other times we eat first.

[Farrar]

I would have done nearly anything to get my kids to sleep in... honestly I still would. On the rare occasions they do, no way would I dream of waking them. They struggle with sleep. I don't touch that when they're getting it.

 

Of course, others don't have those issues, so they may see it differently.

[tmstranger]

I have an early riser (9yo up at 7am on the nose) and sleeper (13yo!).  I NEVER wake the younger because if he sleeps past that 7am mark, then he NEEDS it! LOL!

 

Now, the teen...he's just started the sleeping in thing.  I usually wake him by 8:15 because we aim to start school at 8:30 since my little one has been up for over an hour by then.  And usually, he's up before that time, but I woke him every day this week until today...I let him sleep and he got up at 9am.  I figure that he needs it sometimes and yes, we started late, but like others have said, those are the perks of homeschooling!

 

If mine were younger, I'd always let them sleep. 

[Soror]

I'm in the no wake camp, if they start to wake late I look at bedtime and start inching that forward. Having kids up at different times isn't bad to me, the late risers can serve themselves. It actually makes it quite nice to be able to knock out work with one or 2 when the house isn't quite as noisy yet.

[Ellie]

If they aren't up by 7, then you could wake them, if they don't normally sleep past that. 

[UCF612]

I'm begging mine to sleep later. They are 7 am wakers.

[Arctic Bunny]

Since I can't seem to haul my butt out of bed before 7:30.... waking my kids up at six wouldn't work for me! I have one who is always up around 7, one who is happy to get up around 8. My early one likes his alone time in the morning, so I wouldn't mess with that.

[maize]

I have an early riser (9yo up at 7am on the nose) and sleeper (13yo!).  I NEVER wake the younger because if he sleeps past that 7am mark, then he NEEDS it! LOL!

 

Now, the teen...he's just started the sleeping in thing.  I usually wake him by 8:15 because we aim to start school at 8:30 since my little one has been up for over an hour by then.  And usually, he's up before that time, but I woke him every day this week until today...I let him sleep and he got up at 9am.  I figure that he needs it sometimes and yes, we started late, but like others have said, those are the perks of homeschooling!

 

If mine were younger, I'd always let them sleep. 

 

Your teen may need the sleep even more than the younger kids; changes in the brain during adolescence affect teens' circadian rhythm so that their natural sleep/wake cycle is about two hours later than that of both younger kids and adults. And there is a fair bit of evidence that letting teens get enough sleep has significant cognitive advantages (for instance, high schools that have pushed back their school start time by an hour or so have seen an across the board increase in SAT/ACT and even IQ scores among their students).

[Soror]

I remember reading a book that talked about how teenagers naturally sleep later as in their biological clock is primed that way, I can't remember the title It really drove home my beliefs about letting them be. I HATE being woke up or even having an alarm wake me up and honestly was able to hold down a job irregardless. I naturally wake pretty early and if I do sleep in my body needs it, as long as they are not up playing around or wasting time it is fine with me.

[2_girls_mommy]

We are later sleepers here. So 7 wouldn't work for us and never did. But I do have a start time in mind, and I wake everyone for that. With teens, their natural clocks would easily keep them up until 2 or 3 am, sleeping til after noon if we didn't regulate it some.  We definitely have a later start time than schools. One of mine has to start by 8. The other has to start by 9, and works later in the afternoons, just because she is not a morning person, so that works for us.

 

 

[lllll]

nm

Edited December 25, 2016 by ..Kathy..

[Heidi]

My husband had been waking everyone for the last few weeks and it has really improved everyone's attitude and the flow of our day.

[4KookieKids]

Wow! I'm surprised at the variety of responses (even if they did lean towards not waking). Thanks so much!

 

 

I think they're all up between 6 and 7 most days, and I really do enjoy it when they sleep in a bit more, but our morning routine has just not been working the past few months. Maybe I'll continue to let them sleep, but start thinking about tweaking other parts of their routine (like the fact that they eat breakfast for an hour or more most mornings...) before anything else! :)

 

 

They do go to bed pretty early (730 for nonreaders, 800 for readers who have quiet time after 730) in addition to the younger two still napping of course. I *wish* they all slept later, honestly... But what I wish for more is consistency! lol. I think that's what really gets me - just not knowing what to expect or how much time I have before they wake or who's going to sleep later, etc.

[LindaOz]

At that age I wouldn't wake them. I don't wake my 6yo and 4yo. My older kids are required to be ready for our group time by 8:30am but the younger two aren't.

 

At the ages of your children I'd let them sleep and have have snuggle and read time with the awake ones while waiting for the others. Then have breakfast together before moving on to school work 😊 💤 .

Edited December 9, 2016 by LindaOz

[Minerva]

I vote for let them sleep but speed up breakfast. 

[....]

I wouldn't wake up little kids, but my teenagers will sleep until 2-3 in the afternoon if we don't wake them up.   :001_unsure:   We have an 8:00 rule here.  By that time, we are banging on doors.

[J-rap]

I was thinking about whether you should try getting them up at a consistent time until I saw their ages!  No, I'd let them sleep!  

 

Maybe you could set a reasonable time for your family breakfast that nearly always accommodates their natural waking up range.  That way if they wake up a little earlier or later than usual, it still doesn't throw off your day.

 

But I agree with what someone else said, that getting enough sleep is one of the perks of homeschooling!

[SanDiegoMom]

I wouldn't wake! I have 10 year olds who both have afternoon and evening commitments so I HAVE to wake them just so we can finish up by the time needed. I miss the days when it wasn't so locked in.

[FriedClams]

I wake. 7 am. Then chores, piano, breakfast. School starts at 8:30.

 

ETA - If left naturally my teens would sleep until 10+. I've let them occasionally, and nearly every time they remark on how short the day feels, how little they got done, and please don't let them sleep in again unless they're sick.

Edited December 9, 2016 by FriedClams

[fairfarmhand]

Little kids get to sleep. But my teens are awakened by 9, or they're loudly goofing off when everyone needs to get to sleep at night. But my littles seldom slew past 7:30. Id tweak that breakfast routine.

 

 

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[Guest]

Wow! I'm surprised at the variety of responses (even if they did lean towards not waking). Thanks so much!I think they're all up between 6 and 7 most days, and I really do enjoy it when they sleep in a bit more, but our morning routine has just not been working the past few months. Maybe I'll continue to let them sleep, but start thinking about tweaking other parts of their routine (like the fact that they eat breakfast for an hour or more most mornings...) before anything else! :) They do go to bed pretty early (730 for nonreaders, 800 for readers who have quiet time after 730) in addition to the younger two still napping of course. I *wish* they all slept later, honestly... But what I wish for more is consistency! lol. I think that's what really gets me - just not knowing what to expect or how much time I have before they wake or who's going to sleep later, etc.

Can you do a read aloud or something during breakfast? When you're done, breakfast is done and then after teeth brushing or whatever you just move to the next subject? Then you're killing two birds with one stone, but not throwing your day completely off.

[lexi]

I wake my older two (11 and 9). Actually they have alarms and wake themselves. My 7 year old often gets up a little after so we do a lot of school while the littles are sleeping. If the baby isn't up by 7:30 to nurse then I wake her up (I like her to have a consistent routine and I get too sore to wait much longer to nurse her in the morning). If my 5 and 4 year olds aren't up by around 8 I usually wake them for breakfast. We eat together around 8:15 and work on bible verses together. My kids are usually up by those times. I set our schedule based on their routines and then I wake up the older ones a little earlier so we can do school work in peace and quiet. My kids all have a fairly early bedtime. And my husband and I go to bed early also. He usually leaves for work before 6. I've come to enjoy our morning school with just the big people.

[fralala]

I don't wake, but for my dawdler-- the second grader who wakes latest, isn't hungry when she gets up, and then lingers over a leisurely breakfast-- we have a daily School Start Time which happens even if she's still eating her oatmeal. (I do read-alouds for both history and science, and always have mental math problems at the ready, too.)

[Peaceful Isle]

We start school at 8am, four days a week, with one day off.

As long as they have time to get dressed and ready, eat, and be learning by 8 ish, they get up when they need to. :)

[Moonhawk]

I let my kids sleep.  Like yours, they generally are up between 6-7. I have changed my schedule so that I don't expect the day to start until 7:45/8 so that a "late morning" on their part doesn't change anything. They have activities to fill the gap between being ready and being 8am, if they were up earlier than usual.  If the 7yo or the 5yo sleep through, I usually have a few things the ones that are up can do just with me and they think it is fun to get a special project.

 

I roll by the half hour, and don't usually try to "squeeze" us back on schedule. If we aren't ready by 8, I reset my brain to start at 8:30. That's usually enough time for the offending sleeper to wake, eat, and get ready for the day. If they aren't up by 8:30, I assume we will start at 9.  At 9 if they aren't up, I'll check to make sure they are alive, lol. But, that has happened maybe only 3 days this past semester, and all were after late nights or due to sickness.  

[wendyroo]

Mine are the same ages and wake at the same times as yours.

 

The big difference is that I require them to stay in their rooms (other than bathroom trips) until 7am.  Lamps can be turned on starting at 6am, and anyone who is up can use the time before 7am to read or listen to audio books in their rooms.  

 

At 7, I walk room to room helping everyone get dressed (I just grab clothes for the little two who get dressed after breakfast) and tidy their beds and rooms.  I have breakfast laid out on the table already when we all come downstairs at 7:15.  After breakfast the kids help clear the table, brush their teeth and do their morning chores.

 

Everyone is done with the morning routine between 8 and 8:15 each morning.

 

Wendy

[Hobbes]

Can you do a read aloud or something during breakfast? When you're done, breakfast is done and then after teeth brushing or whatever you just move to the next subject? Then you're killing two birds with one stone, but not throwing your day completely off.

I do this. Mine are generally awake by 7:30 and if they arent, I figure they need the sleep. Sleeping past 8 doesn't happen, really. By 8:30 we are eating and then, because I eat about 8 times more quickly than they do, I start our morning time. They finish eating as I read aloud and lead memory work, etc. We clear plates as we go and continue with the more interactive portions of group work. Staying at the table means the toddler can also take all his time with breakfast without holding us up... plus, he is contained and occupied!

 

When we finish, they pull out their individual work and we do that at the kitchen table until it's done, taking brief individual breaks as needed.

 

I'd really love to have a morning time on the couch, but once we sit down for breakfast I have to keep the ball rolling or we get all sidetracked and the day disappears.

[Bambam]

I wake mine. Always have. I currently have a 15 (16 in a couple of days) year old left at home. 

You get up by 7. School starts at 8. My youngest does MUCH better with a regular routine. 

I've noticed when college student comes home for the weekends (not very often), she still wakes up naturally about 7 am.

 

 

[Tumbatoo]

I let them sleep. One of the reasons I homeschool is so they can get the sleep they need. So, my 6 and 3 year olds get up between 7 and 8, my 9 year old at 9ish, and my 12 year old usually at 10. That's ok. That also means I'm done with my 3 yr old and almost done with my 6 yr old by the time the other two are ready to go. It all works out :)

[Tanikit]

My eldest is up between 5 and 6 am no matter what season we are in. My younger one I have to wake for school and she is not a morning person. In the holidays she will sleep til 9am. Even when I have to get her up earlier I will leave her to the last minute and rather get my elder one ready first which gives her some free time while I deal with the younger. They definitely both do better when they can live to their own internal clocks and that was definitely one of the great advantages of homeschooling.

[Rosie_0801]

Can you do a read aloud or something during breakfast? When you're done, breakfast is done and then after teeth brushing or whatever you just move to the next subject? Then you're killing two birds with one stone, but not throwing your day completely off.

 

We do this. There are before and after protein subjects at our house, lol. You wanna take an hour to eat breakfast? Fine, but during that hour you can colour in a workbook page, fill in a maths revision sheet or listen to a chapter of Grammar Land.

 

Sleep is a top priority here. Nothing else will go well if sleep is interrupted.

[regentrude]

I woke my kids, because we had to start school at 8. I have a job - dawdling in the morning does not work for our family.

I found that they did better with a regular routine, as do I.

 

This said: if your kids are usually awake at 6 or at the latest 7, I don't see a need to wake them - if they are up at 7, that is plenty of time to start school at 8. Just plan with the 7 waking time; if they are up earlier, they get to use the time for whatever they want.

Edited December 12, 2016 by regentrude

[IsabelC]

I haul everyone out of bed (including my husband) most mornings.  I would rather not. In my ideal fantasy home educating world, everyone would wake up naturally, feeling well rested, drift out when they are ready, and start learning. Theoretically, if a kid is going to be awake for, say, 14 hours in a day, it should make no difference whether that's 6am to 8pm or 10am to midnight. But in our family, I have found that an hour in the morning is worth about three hours in the afternoon or evening. And if I don't make an effort to keep things early-ish, we naturally drift later and later. Then it's a scramble to do basic stuff before the after school time activities begin, and there's no point in trying to start anything challenging in the evening, so we end up getting virtually nothing done. 

[OneStepAtATime]

Some adults and some kids need a set routine.  Randomly waking whenever can be just as disruptive and straining as for those who NEED to be able to wake on their own and do better sleeping until they wake.

 

If you find that for your family it is hard to function, and you feel off kilter all day if things aren't started by a certain time, but you would like them to sleep in a bit, too, you are going to need to craft things a bit more, be more intentional.  There is nothing wrong with creating a functional routine for your family.  And for some kids/parents it is vital.  You already have a pretty good time frame in which they usually normally wake up.  Work with that.

 

First, maybe do as mentioned up thread, let the ones that are old enough to understand know that once they are up they can play quietly in their rooms or read or listen to an audio book (if you have a way to provide that in their room) until 7am.  At 7am everyone (except the 1 year old if they need to sleep in) gets together for chores and breakfast.  Have a set time when breakfast should be over.  Maybe play a favorite piece of music as the warning that it is time to wrap up.  If a child is still asleep at 7, then maybe create a gentle routine around the time that they normally wake up.  Go in and anyone not awake yet (except perhaps the 1 year old) give a gentle kiss on the cheek and a loving whisper in the ear to get the ball rolling.  Then go get breakfast prepped.  Check on them again as soon as you finish prepping breakfast.  Anyone not up give another gentle kiss and a hug and encourage them to get out of bed. Lots of smiles and gentle persuasion. If you are consistent about the start and finish time, they will eventually get used to that and their brains will expect it.  

 

On the flip side of that, though, if you notice after a while that one child (or more) is still not easily waking up by 7 you might need to adjust bedtime to an earlier time in the evening so they get more sleep.

[Mom22ns]

My kids did so much better with a consistent schedule, and so do I. I rarely had to wake ds. He was an early riser and was typically up at 6:00. I woke dd between 7-8 (the time was consistent daily, but it varied through the years as our schedules varied). 

 

We were all more productive and happier with a consistent morning routine. If the kids need more sleep, I'd put them to be earlier. If they are typically all up by between 6-7, I'd set a time toward the end of that range, and I'd wake anyone not up yet. If anyone has trouble getting up or shows signs of being tired, they would get an earlier bedtime.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I like having a consistent schedule, but I found not waking them up too early to be better. 

 

My kids won't go to bed earlier so I gave up on that long ago.  Not to mention activities get out late.  I figure if I don't have to have them get up super early then why do that?  That's one of the perks of homeschooling (making our own schedule). 

 

 

[4KookieKids]

Thanks for all the input! It's kind of funny, because this week my 7 year old has been sleeping all the way until 7, which makes it hard for him to eat and get his chores finished before 8, but he's obviously tired so I've just given him the rest (and the baby sharing his room was obviously tired too!). Staggering wake times isn't really feasible, since I've got four kids split in two neighboring rooms, so once one gets up, it's usually not long before the others get up (though sometimes one room wakes up half an hour before the other room).

 

I need to think a bit about our routine, I think, so I know what the plan is going to be when we get back from Christmas break in January. I don't really need to have it figured out before then, but you've all given me lots to think about! :)