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About fralala

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee

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  1. I read this expecting to become overwhelmed by sadness, but her account made me hopeful. What a beautiful, perceptive, wise person has emerged from such incredible ugly, hurtful experiences. One line from her account struck me: "He always promoted his philosophy, showcasing the family as the living proof of the validity of his methods and beliefs." A reminder to me not to trust the perceptions and judgments I might experience related to other parents and their children.
  2. I think there might really be something to the idea that this kid could use older male mentors to be accountable to rather than his mom right now. And I like that this idea might keep him out of a potentially lousy school environment. I'm not so sure about slightly older peers doing the job; as a former peer tutor, I can tell you that most of the kids I worked with spent a whole lot of time trying to coerce me to do their work for themin various ways. Like many things that happened in school, peer tutoring made those of us who were responsible already even more mature and responsible, but
  3. Is anyone arguing that babies should be present for long periods of time in most workplaces? I think it's reasonable for people who can't take maternity leave and work long or odd hours not to be prohibited from feeding their babies at work. This measure, like the one prohibiting laptops on the floor, seems specific to the unique conditions of this particular position. Childcare is very different in the countries I've lived/traveled in that are generally held up as examples of great attachment parenting-- yes, older siblings sometimes are expected to care for children, but also grand
  4. I'm curious about this attitude, which seems not uncommon. If you were going to do it again, can you imagine conditions that would have made being a working mother better for you, your family, and your child? There is and was a huge price to pay for prioritizing family, for mothers AND fathers. But there is also a huge price to pay for NOT prioritizing family, and relationships, and I think we have all been paying it for too long. Children. Mothers. Fathers. (Under)paid caregivers. Life is often unfair as we perceive it, but we can imagine circumstances in which people are happi
  5. Janeway, is the primary issue here one of balancing your children's academic needs or their emotional needs? (Obviously, they both matter. But what do you perceive as the thing that needs to be attended to first?) I am almost certain we could figure out a way for you to do the former, but I think many of us rely on a lot of outside support for the latter, especially if one or more of our kids is struggling. It's hard to gain insight on what is best for our children when we are constantly stressed out and barraged by their demands-- do you have nearby friends or family who can help provide
  6. That's incredible and wonderful. My inclination would be to change nothing (unless he's asking for more) as whatever you've been doing seems to be inspiring him quite a bit! Not to mention scribing is pretty much the most encouraging and positive thing you can do with a child this age to make them feel their compositions are worthwhile. Is he taking any kind of music lessons or does he have access to an instrument?
  7. It is partially contingent, I think, or even entirely contingent, on that complex mixture of your child's personality and vocabulary. My kids like using children's dictionaries for games and such, but they never actually contain the words we are looking for and we always end up resorting to my dictionary. So if your son is struggling with the kinds of words that would be in the children's dictionary, and if he has the patience and fortitude to look up words, this would be an excellent way for him to develop independence and dictionary skills. But at 6, nope, this would never wor
  8. Agree that it's not a moral failing. But I don't think the point is that it doesn't matter and one shouldn't care. People care about different things and are bothered by different things. I think about it this way. Our kids often have concerns and get extremely upset about things that we, honestly, cannot get. Things bother them that seem silly and inconsequential to us. And truthfully, we don't have to agree. We don't have to say, "You're right, it is absolutely a violation and terrible that your brother made a face at you." Likewise, however, it is unhelpful to say, "That's a stupid thi
  9. Aw, it almost sounds like you're trying to take on too much right now. And I don't mean in terms of schoolwork (although my K-er definitely does way less than 1 hour). If I thought it was part of my job description to always know what came next for my kids, or to keep them entertained, I'd have gone crazy long ago. And while I don't like tantrums, sometimes immature people struggle with strong feelings. Siblings are constantly studying the fine art of getting along as well, and it's not always enjoyable for us parents, but better to do this all while you're young, right? I am not ant
  10. There is plenty of hope for your young children! I'm not so sure about your husband. Sorry, I need some emoticons here. I'm sure he's a nice guy and wants to help you out here, not blame you. But especially as it appears you have 3 sons, I would merely ask what kind of role modeling they see in their father. What does he do when he walks by a cracker or a piece of paper? Is there an attitude of, "Hey, it's our job to keep our house clean! We all help out! I am going to bend down and pick this up. I don't care who dropped it, I don't care who walked by it, I'm a man, and a father, and
  11. Origami, tangrams, drawing and coloring tesselations on graph paper? I also like MFA Boston's geometry in art resources, although they're aimed at older kids.
  12. That's really rough. Those meds sound like they need adjustment, at the very least. While I agree with all the information about possible causes and the encouragement to see a doctor again, since you stated that she doesn't want you butting in with suggestions, I'm wondering what you can do to help motivate her without making her stop talking to you. In truth, whether she's depressed or has another medical condition, I'd say it's probably best with a young adult to follow your instincts and keep finding ways to show you care about her and are there for her without nagging-- sending care p
  13. Hugs. Head injuries can be scary. I myself once fell down the stairs holding a baby, and have witnessed a toddler falling when I was standing at the top unable to help. The feelings of maternal guilt are usually worse than the physical injury incurred, thank goodness. Hope you're both feeling better now.
  14. My personal opinion is that having a healthy diet, one that is nourishing and life-sustaining, is about how we eat. Enjoying food, eating with gratitude in the peaceful and loving presence of other human beings, chewing slowly and truly tasting it, noticing when one feels hungry or sluggish or satiated or energetic, thinking about the people who raised our food or the plants that nourish us or the lives of the animals we are eating-- these are healthy habits. Accepting that perhaps we cannot always afford or expect to eat as we would like to (philosophically, or in terms of actual taste),
  15. I'm pretty sure this is the kind of concern Julie Bogart is referring to when she talks about throwing the homeschool hand grenade. (If this is the daughter who just came out of a bad experience w/ public school somewhat unwillingly, you get bonus points. Yay!)
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