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Memorial of my DH

Teresa in MO

By Teresa in MO,
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Teresa in MO

Teresa in MO

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I wanted to share this memorial of my dh that my son-in-law posted on his Facebook page.

 

 

 

My father-in-law was a serious man of constant faith and unparalleled commitment to his family.

He told me about how he used to work two back-to-back jobs when he was younger to support his growing family. My mother-in-law would pack him two paper sacks for his day. One was for his lunch break at a local car maintenance shop and another for dinner when he drove across town to work nights at another shop. After a 14 hour day, he would wake up and do it again.

When the family house got too small to contain 10 kids on a single floor with one bathroom, he decided that his house needed a second story. Using his built up time off work from never taking a vacation, he decided (against all shocked looks of "are you insane") to do 100% of the work by himself. Sometimes he worked over 24 hours straight to be ready for inspections and finish on his self-imposed deadline.

I would have thought these two stories were apocryphal had I not witnessed his indefatigable work ethic when he volunteered to help when Jennifer and I built our new home. He took time off work to help me put in laminate flooring so we could save a little money. When he would come to visit, he would always be prepared for our next project. I would get off work on a Friday evening expecting the project to start first thing on Saturday, only to find he had left from home earlier than expected and was already half-way finished with that weekend's project.

He was the kind of man that reminded me that virtue and virility have the same Latin word right there at the beginning. The virtue that he inspired was unquestionably masculine and paternal in the proper sense -- every day he took up the cross of sacrifice as a husband and father. There was nothing soft about him, yet I witnessed tender moments when he kissed his grandkids or used his special hum to get each of the babies to sleep.

He once told me of a remark made by the doctor after his wife of then 25 years had just delivered their 10th and last child. The doctor had thought that after 10 kids some of the joy, wonder and expressions of love might be gone, but no -- that doctor was shocked to find the same face of awe and wonder that a new dad might have on this the new old dad of 10 kids.

Our last conversation was about how he had found a place near a job he was working for us to get matching garden statues of the Blessed Virgin. He was going to buy them both (over my protest) for the simple task of helping him get his office computer setup for the company he had started. He handled the highly complex process of testing and controlling air flow and quality at local hospitals. I think he had used that reason three or four times over. The nearby job site turned out to be the place where he would unexpectedly collapse earlier this week.

I know my father-in-law would prefer to remain in obscurity. He was a simple man who didn't ask for recognition or credit. I got the sense that sometimes it was hard for him to accept a thank you, when, for my part, I was constantly worried at how inadequate paying in only words had been.

He may hate that I posted about him after his death, but his story deserves to be known. It is the story of a simple man who sanctified his life through an unflinching commitment to his true vocation -- his calling by God to be the husband for 38 years and the father of my wife Jennifer and a role model for me.

Requiescat in pace.

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nd293

nd293

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Do print this out and keep it for each of your children.

 

I have a copy of the eulogy given for my great-grandfather (who died long before I was born) by my his son, my mother's uncle, and it is moving and inspiring to read. It reminds me that how we live and how we are remembered matter. Memory is powerful.

 

You must be very proud of your husband.

 

I'm very sorry for your loss.

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