Would you move from the suburbs to NYC?

[gingersmom]

The problem with no car in NYC is to go anywhere (and have car to use) you need to rent a car. It is crazy in NYC in the summer to rent a car.

 

My mother gave up her car because she had a Mercedes and had to pay extra on top of crazy prices because it was considered a luxury car.

 

My brother has his car at a lot about 20 minutes from his building because it's so much cheaper and they only use on weekends ( Costco runs and to visit in laws)

[Runningmom80]

Yes, in a NY heartbeat. It's my dream, and I'm incredibly jealous that you have this opportunity!

[AnniePoo]

As someone who loves city life (especially NYC), I have to give an emphatic NO!  I would not do it.  No way, no how.  My kids are the same spacing as yours, only mine are all 1 year older (oldest is 9).  

 

We currently live in a small 3br apartment (not in NYC).  We moved in 6 months ago.  I cannot tell you how much more strife my kids have when they are in such close quarters.  Homeschooling is a nightmare.  The dining area is small and kids keep bumping each other while working on handwriting.  Just go somewhere else and do your work?  Um, no, there is no place else to go.  The neighbors hate us because its impossible to keep 4 kids quiet.  Even when they re outside playing, we have issues with old ladies and college students getting on us about the noise.  I feel like I can't live my life.  

 

Where will you keep bikes?  What about extra food?  Will there even be a place to store extra TP?  You will have to be "on" much more since to get the kids outside, YOU have to take them.  

 

And finally, are you up for dealing with the crowds when you have 4 kids in tow?  Getting on a subway train with 4 kids sounds like a nightmare to me.  You don't get the "mini vacation" of having the kids all strapped into their carseats while you drive for 15 minutes.   

 

I am genuinely sorry to be such a negative Nellie, but downsizing to an apartment (this was not part of our life plan) has not been a positive change for us.  

 

If it were just for a year as a trial, then maybe I'd do it, but then you wouldn't be able to come back to your dream home (unless you rent it out).  

[Aspasia]

Yes. I moved four kids from the country to the city (seattle area, in our case). We downsized to nearly 1/5th our prior living space. I am a nature loving introvert and ... I am LOVING it!!! Shopping is actually easier, except for bringing groceries up to the apt, however I have used the grocery delivery service when the kids were sick and would use it again for convenience. Costco has a cart that works well for towing grocery bags and kids.

 

We took the four kids to Manhattan for a week earlier this year. I was surprised to find the metro easy to use and rather safe feeling. I would not take a car to NY. I also felt like the city was extremely kid friendly with activities everywhere. I didn't want to leave. On the other hand, you have more little ones. The stroller was necessary for the baby, but it was a hassle to take. My next oldest was old enough to get around on his own. You will need a hand on your 3 yo, right? I also had the help of my older kids. If I were in your shoes I would spend less on housing and have a nanny.

 

This is probably more unique to our situation, but my kids had not made great friends in the half decade we lived in the countryside. They have already found kindred spirits in the city. I suspect it's a matter of numbers and having more people to interact with, but it has been extraordinary.

 

Can you go for a week or two with all of the kids? Get a feel for what life might be like before making such a huge commitment?

 

I have a Joovy Caboose (sit and stand) stroller, so 3yo rides on the back of that. It's the dreamiest stroller!

 

And yeah, my kids have had a surprising dearth of friendship opportunities in our neighborhood. There just aren't many kids, and the kids there are don't seem to go outside and play very much. It has been disappointing, to say the least. So I have been thinking of the sheer number of kids in NYC and hoping that probabilities alone will improve my kids' social lot.

 

What a great idea to go and wander around with the family! We have been with kids, but never all four. We should go give it a whirl. It is just a few hours up 95 (which could translate into many more!)

 

I have always been up for a big adventure when it comes to moving, and I always told my husband that I would be willing to move wherever he needed in order for him to be successful in his career. I'm a kind of "make it work" type of person.

 

That being said, I think I would hate living in NYC. I just went there a few months ago for vacation. The crowds! The prices of everything! The noise!! I would live in other cities in a heartbeat, but NYC is unlike most. 

 

What really got to me, though, were the people. Any time I needed to ask directions or something I would be met with such suspicion and literally no help. People are very guarded (and rightly so - it is NYC) but my sister and I are two 50 year old ladies who were obviously tourists! No one was friendly at all. Everyone walks in their own little bubble, and when you approach and say "excuse me?" they would jump as if shocked and immediately back away. Then I would say "I was just wondering if we keep walking on this street will we reach such and so" and they would mumble something or just shake their head or whatever and then close down into their own bubble again. 

 

I think NYC can do that to you because it is so fast paced with everyone rushing to get where they need to be. New Yorkers pride themselves on being brusk and hurried. I would not like to change into that just to survive there.

 

I've never had that experience with New Yorkers. I've always been fortunate to get really friendly, helpful people. Some even approach US, when they can see that we're lost or confused, and ask if we need any help.

[Okra]

Honestly, you sound so excited to go.  I think that should be the main decision maker.  You would probably be disappointed if you didn't take the opportunity to see what it is like.

 

People will have such different opinions on wether they like a big city.  You seem excited.  So, YES!  Take the plunge and try it out.!

 

 

[Alessandra]

Speaking of kid friendships, I agree that it can be easier in the city. In suburbs, if you go to a playground, kids will know each other from a young age, because of shared school, sports teams, preschools, etc. in NYC, if my kids were in a playground or other kids area, they had more people to interact with, because kids did not have the overlapping circles of friendship that can happen in the suburbs. Also, if diversity is important, it can be a drawback that many suburbs tend to be racially and economically segregated. (Montclair, NJ is a notable exception and has a leafy suburban ambience with city type people. I don't know if that makes any sense....)

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montclair,_New_Jersey

[Wheres Toto]

I love visiting NYC and my oldest badly wants to live there some day (she may go to grad school in the city).  But, I don't think I'd want to live there with four young children for many of the reasons already mentioned.  Even the times I've taken my two children into the city I bring an extra pair of hands.  I've taken the train in and I've driven in.

 

I'd think about living right across the river someplace like Hoboken or Montclair where it's super-easy to get into NYC and still has an urban feel without some of the drawbacks of NYC.  Probably similar to living in one of the boroughs (but super-easy homeschool laws).

[QueenCat]

In a heartbeat! I don't think we'd ever likely end up in NYC, due to dh's career, but we are hoping to be in a big city in a couple of years.

[Pawz4me]

I would probably lose my sanity in about two days.

[Um_2_4]

Personally? Never.

I stayed a while with my SIL in a large city (Paris) and while I loved it (Paris! Fun!!! I only had one 10mo though.), I couldn't live there. She had 4 kids (youngest was 8 mo, oldest 9) and everything was a production. And she is one of the most organized people I know.

Storage?  :smilielol5: What storage? And she had a 3 bedroom in Paris. Large by their standards.

Really with a large family (there 4 kids is large) shopping was a hassle. They had a car, so she went Sun am and left the kids with her DH and got stuff for the week and then try to store everything in that tiny kitchen. Now she got to customize her kitchen because her DH built it so she had more storage than most. I asked her why she didn't just shop at the local shops like others I saw (she did get bread downstairs, but that was it mainly). She said it was too expensive for a large family. She drove to the outskirts to a supermarket basically. She compared the cost of butter and I remember it was more than 2x the price to buy at the downstairs market. My experience in large US cities (mainly chicago) was about the same. Local stores much more than large chains.

She had a schedule worked out (the oldest 2 could stay home alone for a few minutes) for walking her daughter to school and coordinating walking times for the others, she walked them to the metro etc. She didn't take all 4 on the metro usually. Basically there was no "hey let's all go _______". I found it too confining. And I think it's kind of when you live there you might not take advantage of all the amenities like you would as a tourist.

As far as apartment living, I've lived in an apt with 4 kids (950 sq ft), I would never do it again willingly. Toys? Pare it down to one, maybe 2, underbed boxes unless you want to be tripping over toys. No bikes/scooters (unless the apt maybe comes with a storage unit in the basement/hall). Quiet time will last all day long basically. Noise works both ways too. Noisy neighbors (just the usual kitchen/water pipes/moving chairs noises) kept my babies awake more than I would like. I still blame my DS11's poor sleep habits on the 1st 5 years of his life and apartment living.

 

Now, if your budget can take a big jump in $$$ of food/rent/transportation/activities to make yourself comfortable (not just survive in the big city) AND you know yourself you will MAKE yourself utilize all the extras available, then you might consider it for a period of time. But do you want that to be your permanent home? What if 2 years turns into 12?? Are you willing to give up your lovely current home???

[Tanaqui]

You know, guys, NYC is a big city. With boroughs. It's entirely possible to get a house here if you don't mind a slightly longer commute. I'm checking out house prices here on the North Shore and they're not too shabby. I don't know enough about Queens neighborhoods to say which are convenient to the train, but if you're on the North Shore you're just 30 minutes from Lower Manhattan. You don't have to cram yourself and four kids into a tiny apartment if space is your priority.

[Um_2_4]

Well, if you can swing that ^ house price (comparable to CA prices really). Then yes, I guess you could do it, but you would need a car there it looks like.

I like this one (but no idea of the neighborhood obviously): http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/130-Oxford-Pl-Staten-Island-NY-10301/32273617_zpid/

 

[rebbyribs]

I don't think I could handle living in an apartment with no backyard at this stage of life.  I don't need a huge house or acreage to be happy, but it's important to me to have 3BR/ 2BA with a dining room that can fit us all plus enough space for kids to play outside and for me to have a garden.  In the San Francisco area, we are able to do that with my husband having a 1-hour BART commute to downtown.  If my husband needed to work in NYC, we'd try to find a similar situation in northern NJ.  

 

One huge thing for me about having a yard is that each winter it seems like there is a month or more where everyone takes turns getting sick -- not terribly ill, but bad enough we'd rather not expose our friends.  Since we don't get out much during that time, it's really nice for the kids who are well or who just need to run around anyway to have somewhere they can do it.  Also, the saying, "Gardening is cheaper than therapy, and you get tomatoes," holds true for me.

[Alessandra]

You know, guys, NYC is a big city. With boroughs. It's entirely possible to get a house here if you don't mind a slightly longer commute. I'm checking out house prices here on the North Shore and they're not too shabby. I don't know enough about Queens neighborhoods to say which are convenient to the train, but if you're on the North Shore you're just 30 minutes from Lower Manhattan. You don't have to cram yourself and four kids into a tiny apartment if space is your priority.

OMG, that is Staten Island.

[Garga]

If you live in the city with no car, then you need to be an outdoor person. And you need time.

 

My son's karate class is .86 miles from my home and takes 2 minutes to drive it.

 

I can drop him off and be back home in under 5 minutes. During the hour he's at karate, I have over 50 minutes to do chores, make calls, whatever. I often drop him off while still wearing my jammies in the winter. It's so stinkin' cold in my house that jammies and robes are really the best way to dress. I pop a coat on overtop the jammies and head out.

 

But, if we had to walk that distance (and if we lived in a city, we would), we'd all have to be dressed and I wouldn't have time to walk there, walk home to clean or do chores and then walk back. So, I'd have to sit in the waiting room for the hour. Those little odds and ends I get done around the house twice a week, would have to get done some other time. The walk would take an additional 20-30 minutes or longer (round trip.) In the summer, my son comes out of karate beet red and covered in sweat, often with a slight headache. And that's in the a/c. If we had to walk home with him like that, he'd be miserable. He wouldn't be able to cool off. I think he'd quit karate.

 

And the winter! Ugh. My son wouldn't be dripping with sweat, but we'd all be freezing.

 

So, for me, the idea that "everything is in walking distance," is not a plus. It means that an errand that can take mere minutes ends up taking 1/2 an hour or more.

 

Right now, I hope to sqeeeeak in with schooling taking only 6.5 hours a day. I can't imagine having to add an extra hour here and there for every time I need to run an errand. I just don't have time for gearing up so I can head outside for a walk in the hot or cold on top of schooling and prepping dinner and cleaning.

 

Unless everything you need is literally on your very block, then I see all this "walking distance" as a huge time sucker. It would drive me bonkers to have to take all that time to get anywhere and back.

 

And with 4 kids! Eep! They walk so slowly. How will you get them walking briskly enough in 32 degrees with wind tunnelling down the streets and they need to walk .86 miles to karate?

 

So, assess: if you are outdoor people and love being outside, it will be great. You'll love the weather and being out and about in it.

 

But if you're an indoor girl like me, it will not be great.

[MistyMountain]

I would prefer to live in NYC then in the suburbs if I could afford it. I am fine with downsizing especially if we got a place with 3 bedrooms to live in a walkable city. I grew up in NJ and would not want to live there again but I would live in the city if we could afford it. There is a lot to do to keep busy and you can walk everywhere or take the subway. I like gardening but I would do a few container gardens and know that living in a city was environmentally responsible.

[Scarlett]

I would view almost like going to a foreign country for a few years. Maybe not something I would want to do permantly but definitely for a few years for the experience.

 

Especially in your situation with a promotion for your dh and a healthy salary.

[Tanaqui]

OMG, that is Staten Island.

 

Good heavens, so it is. Have I been living here this whole time and never noticed that? I wondered why our subway looked an awful lot like a ferryboat!

 

Well, if you can swing that ^ house price (comparable to CA prices really). Then yes, I guess you could do it, but you would need a car there it looks like.

 

Only if you stay on the Island. The neighborhood I linked to is both pretty well served by buses and extremely close to the Ferry. It's actually the Saint George Ferry Terminal, so, you know, it's right in the same neighborhood. If you spend most of your socializing time in the City, you don't really need a car. I promise you, I've lived here 20+ years carfree. I walk to the grocery store, I take the bus to the boat, what more do I need?

 

That neighborhood IS very hilly, though. Like, extremely hilly. If that's a problem... then you need a car.

 

I like this one (but no idea of the neighborhood obviously): http://www.zillow.co.../32273617_zpid/

 

That's right by Silver Lake. Pretty good neighborhood, several buses stop right there, close to the doctor's office and the JCC and the Broadway YMCA and also Little Sri Lanka, which is good if you happen to like Sri Lankan food. VERY HILLY. (On the other hand, the zoned middle school - our zoned middle school! - is the very reason we're homeschooling. So if you planned to stop homeschooling around that time, you wouldn't want to.)

[Um_2_4]

 

 

 

That's right by Silver Lake. Pretty good neighborhood, several buses stop right there, close to the doctor's office and the JCC and the Broadway YMCA and also Little Sri Lanka, which is good if you happen to like Sri Lankan food. VERY HILLY. (On the other hand, the zoned middle school - our zoned middle school! - is the very reason we're homeschooling. So if you planned to stop homeschooling around that time, you wouldn't want to.)

 

The wood floors and staircase and the bedroom with the domers got me. And did I mention the wood floors....

[Tanaqui]

Isn't wood the usual thing for floors?

[Jan in SC]

I would not want to live in midtown with kids. There are so many people and it's so dirty. I think NYC with kids is very doable, but will be expensive. I'm sure you realize that, so no surprise there. I'm writing this from a sublet in Hell's Kitchen. It's great, but I wouldn't enjoy it with toddlers. The Upper West Side is so much cleaner and Columbus circle is so much nicer. Im a newbie, so there are probably even better places.

 

We come to NY for a specific reason. Most of the people we meet live in Brooklyn or NJ, and come into the city when they need to be here. The people that we know that actually live in the city, have second homes in NJ, or a nearby town with a lake. They have an escape.

 

The subway wouldn't bother me with little ones, but a taxi won't turn down five of you when you have kids with you. You will have to decide if you want car seats and how to deal with that. I think that most people we know here have a car.

 

Maybe you could keep your house and sublet an apartment for a month and try it before you decide. I'd love to move here. I don't care about cooking and we eat out all the time. You can have groceries delivered, and there is always someone to drive you where you need to go. I would always want an escape. It just never slows down, and I find the pace ridiculous.

[Aspasia]

If you live in the city with no car, then you need to be an outdoor person. And you need time.

 

My son's karate class is .86 miles from my home and takes 2 minutes to drive it.

 

I can drop him off and be back home in under 5 minutes. During the hour he's at karate, I have over 50 minutes to do chores, make calls, whatever. I often drop him off while still wearing my jammies in the winter. It's so stinkin' cold in my house that jammies and robes are really the best way to dress. I pop a coat on overtop the jammies and head out.

 

But, if we had to walk that distance (and if we lived in a city, we would), we'd all have to be dressed and I wouldn't have time to walk there, walk home to clean or do chores and then walk back. So, I'd have to sit in the waiting room for the hour. Those little odds and ends I get done around the house twice a week, would have to get done some other time. The walk would take an additional 20-30 minutes or longer (round trip.) In the summer, my son comes out of karate beet red and covered in sweat, often with a slight headache. And that's in the a/c. If we had to walk home with him like that, he'd be miserable. He wouldn't be able to cool off. I think he'd quit karate.

 

And the winter! Ugh. My son wouldn't be dripping with sweat, but we'd all be freezing.

 

So, for me, the idea that "everything is in walking distance," is not a plus. It means that an errand that can take mere minutes ends up taking 1/2 an hour or more.

 

Right now, I hope to sqeeeeak in with schooling taking only 6.5 hours a day. I can't imagine having to add an extra hour here and there for every time I need to run an errand. I just don't have time for gearing up so I can head outside for a walk in the hot or cold on top of schooling and prepping dinner and cleaning.

 

Unless everything you need is literally on your very block, then I see all this "walking distance" as a huge time sucker. It would drive me bonkers to have to take all that time to get anywhere and back.

 

And with 4 kids! Eep! They walk so slowly. How will you get them walking briskly enough in 32 degrees with wind tunnelling down the streets and they need to walk .86 miles to karate?

 

So, assess: if you are outdoor people and love being outside, it will be great. You'll love the weather and being out and about in it.

 

But if you're an indoor girl like me, it will not be great.

 

I don't think there is anywhere in NYC where you would have to walk a whole .86 miles if you didn't want to or didn't have the time. There are subway lines EVERYWHERE.

[Aspasia]

You know, guys, NYC is a big city. With boroughs. It's entirely possible to get a house here if you don't mind a slightly longer commute. I'm checking out house prices here on the North Shore and they're not too shabby. I don't know enough about Queens neighborhoods to say which are convenient to the train, but if you're on the North Shore you're just 30 minutes from Lower Manhattan. You don't have to cram yourself and four kids into a tiny apartment if space is your priority.

Those are amazing prices! Pretty comparable to where we are now, and the homes are adorable. But I can't seem to find any place on Staten Island with less than an hour's commute to midtown. We're aiming for 30 minutes or less. We've learned our lesson here--we'd rather have less space and more time together than more space and my husband never being here.

[Aspasia]

Angela (and other NYC experts), do people in places like Park Slope and Brooklyn Heights usually have cars, or are cars less common? I mean, I guess we COULD keep our van, but I hear the parking is expensive and kind of a pain. What is life like in the Brooklyn neighborhoods that are closer to Manhattan? Like, how far of a walk is it to a grocery store? Are there exciting things going on in the street or do we need to go to Manhattan for that jazz?

 

(I guess we should go up and see Brooklyn. I've never been there--only Manhattan.)

[Tanaqui]

Those are amazing prices! Pretty comparable to where we are now, and the homes are adorable. But I can't seem to find any place on Staten Island with less than an hour's commute to midtown. We're aiming for 30 minutes or less. We've learned our lesson here--we'd rather have less space and more time together than more space and my husband never being here.

 

No, you won't find that. Midtown is an hour from the Island. It's half an hour from the North Shore to Lower Manhattan, and then another half hour on the train at rush hour.

 

If you want a shorter commute, Queens or Brooklyn is a better bet, depending on what you can spend.

 

I don't think there is anywhere in NYC where you would have to walk a whole .86 miles if you didn't want to or didn't have the time. There are subway lines EVERYWHERE.

 

Mmm. 86 miles isn't a very long walk, only about 15 - 20 minutes. In Manhattan, you're never that far from a subway or bus. In some parts of Brooklyn, Queens, and the Bronx you certainly are, and on the Island, Mid-Island and the South Shore are hopeless. It's true we have, for the US, very good public transportation. It's not true that we really have subways and buses everywhere. I wish!

[Amira]

I don't think there is anywhere in NYC where you would have to walk a whole .86 miles if you didn't want to or didn't have the time. There are subway lines EVERYWHERE.

 

And even if you do walk those .86 miles, which can be easier to do that getting a lot of children on and off the subway because .86 miles doesn't take long to walk, you don't have to sit at your kid's thing the whole time.  I drop my child(ren) off and take the rest and we go to the library, go grocery shopping, play at the park, or do any number of other things. Getting some exercise is well worth it too.

 

Living in a city without a car or with a car that you only drive infrequently really is a big lifestyle change though.  I like to find things near home that the older children can go to on their own and only schedule a few things that I have to walk someone to every week.  I combine errands and it works really well.  I didn't think I'd like being carless the first time I did it but I loved it so much that even when I do have a car, I drive it as little as possible and walk all the time.  And when your oldest can stay home with the other kids and you go out on your own?  Heaven.

[Tanaqui]

And when your oldest can stay home with the other kids and you go out on your own?  Heaven.

 

Or better yet, when they can do things on their own and you don't have to take them because there's really no reason a 12 year old with a Metrocard can't get herself up to the Met. I'm looking eagerly forward to the day when I don't have to escort either of them practically anywhere. Just 30 more months!

[Scarlett]

No, you won't find that. Midtown is an hour from the Island. It's half an hour from the North Shore to Lower Manhattan, and then another half hour on the train at rush hour.

 

If you want a shorter commute, Queens or Brooklyn is a better bet, depending on what you can spend.

 

 

Mmm. 86 miles isn't a very long walk, only about 15 - 20 minutes. In Manhattan, you're never that far from a subway or bus. In some parts of Brooklyn, Queens, and the Bronx you certainly are, and on the Island, Mid-Island and the South Shore are hopeless. It's true we have, for the US, very good public transportation. It's not true that we really have subways and buses everywhere. I wish!

This is so interesting! Thank you for posting.

[Alessandra]

Good heavens, so it is. Have I been living here this whole time and never noticed that? I wondered why our subway looked an awful lot like a ferryboat!

 

 

 

Only if you stay on the Island. The neighborhood I linked to is both pretty well served by buses and extremely close to the Ferry. It's actually the Saint George Ferry Terminal, so, you know, it's right in the same neighborhood. If you spend most of your socializing time in the City, you don't really need a car. I promise you, I've lived here 20+ years carfree. I walk to the grocery store, I take the bus to the boat, what more do I need?

 

That neighborhood IS very hilly, though. Like, extremely hilly. If that's a problem... then you need a car.

 

 

That's right by Silver Lake. Pretty good neighborhood, several buses stop right there, close to the doctor's office and the JCC and the Broadway YMCA and also Little Sri Lanka, which is good if you happen to like Sri Lankan food. VERY HILLY. (On the other hand, the zoned middle school - our zoned middle school! - is the very reason we're homeschooling. So if you planned to stop homeschooling around that time, you wouldn't want to.)

Oh, you actually live on SI? I did not realize that.

[Guest]

I wouldn't make that move for love or money. Ever.

 

That doesn't mean you shouldn't, though!

[Alessandra]

Angela (and other NYC experts), do people in places like Park Slope and Brooklyn Heights usually have cars, or are cars less common? I mean, I guess we COULD keep our van, but I hear the parking is expensive and kind of a pain. What is life like in the Brooklyn neighborhoods that are closer to Manhattan? Like, how far of a walk is it to a grocery store? Are there exciting things going on in the street or do we need to go to Manhattan for that jazz?

 

(I guess we should go up and see Brooklyn. I've never been there--only Manhattan.)

A crazy number of people actually do have cars and park on the street. I used to do that. NYC has alternate side of the street parking. So you have to move your car on certain days to allow for street cleaning, then get back into your usual spot. In crowded areas it can be a nightmare, as you usually spend time sitting in your car, watching the clock, until your spot opens up again. It would be horrible with kids in the car.

 

But if you don't need a car much, you could rent a Zip car to go out to the country and use Uber in the city.

 

For garage parking, check out best parking website to get an idea of prices. Also, in some boroughs, houses may have parking, not exactly a driveway, but a space on the side of the house. There are also tiny private garages here and there, quarter of a million to buy a spot in some places in Manhattan, but reasonable in some boroughs. But Brooklyn Heights is diffeicult to park in. Check out Google earth or Google maps with satellite turned on and you can see where the cars are.

 

You can also use google maps and select he bus icon to see how long commutes are. Just do it at the actual times your dh would be traveling and not Saturday night, lol. I do they when going to new cities, easier than trying to puzzle out a schedule.

 

ETA Riverside Drive in the 80's, 90's and low 100's has some lovely old buildings with great views, parks nearby, and actual street parking. You still have to move your car, but since there are only buildings on one side of the street, twice as many parking spaces, kwim?

[chocolatechip]

Well, I wouldn't, because I hate big cities. . .

 

Would it be possible for you to rent out your current house, so you could always move back if you decided NYC wasn't for you?

[LucyStoner]

I would, if we could afford to live there.  

[LibraryLover]

I would, at least for a time! I don't think I would pass up such an opportunity for my kids. I was in NYC in May, and again a couple of weeks ago, for several days each time, visiting one of my children. Dh and I are considering renting there in the future for short periods of time. (Perhaps through VBRO or Sabbatical Homes.) I'm struck by the vast number of children who live and thrive in the city. I agree that it's best if one has lots of money. Lol money makes so many things easier. NYC is a fabulous place. So much happening, so many families, both large and small, not all rich. Which is not to say there aren't certain struggles, but a place like NYC offers incredible opportunities. There is so dang much to do, see, and experience! I agree that winter can be tough,depending where you live/where you need to go. But winter is winter.

 

I moved from a quiet area to a busy city two years ago. While I miss some aspects ( chickens, large garden beds), the entire experience has been wonderful. ( luckily, I didn't have to sell my home, so I can visit.)

 

I would absolutely try it. You can always move again. I wouldn't want to have regrets by not taking the chance. Is it possible for you to rent your home while you get acclimated/test the waters?

 

Renting a car is not a problem as long as you book in advance. It takes planning, but it's hardly impossible. I don't vent need a car where I am. My youngest walks or bikes or takes the train. We do have a car, but I find myself needing it rarely. Work, food , entertainment is all within walking distance. I love.

 

When I visit my oldest in NYC, we park our car on the street, taking car to read all signs, and moving it in a timely manner if we have to. My NYC (park slope) child has a car, and if they don't have to use it, they leave in parked. If you get a good and free space, you park and leave it! lol

[ScoutTN]

I wouldn't, but I am not a city person. Love NYC, but only for short visits.

 

My mom lived in the Bay Ridge area of Brooklyn when I was in high school (away at boarding school) and I enjoyed exploring NYC on vacations. I loved the diversity, the food, the shopping, the museums, the music, the shows. Hated the endless pavement, the noise, the crowds, the cost, the weather, the pace of life generally. I need a slower life, lots and lots and lots more trees, a friendlier culture and a shorter winter.

 

But YOU sound excited about it though and should keep investigating! Get more info. The try it out idea seems like a good one. Checking out various places to live within the city seems very important. Talk to other homeschoolers with several young children, esp. if you can find some who live on a similar budget to yours. Get real and detailed COL information. Try the transportation.

 

Let us know what you decide!

[DawnM]

NYC is not my cup of tea, but I did move away from Los Angeles, and I miss it terribly.   I KNOW I had a tiny house and a tiny yard there, but I loved it and lived there for 20 years.  It was home.  If my family would agree, I would move back.  I love it there, tiny house for $700K and all.

 

Sigh.

[sheryl]

I have absolutely NO desire to live there.   With that said I know a woman who told  recently she'd move there in a heartbeat.

 

Please don't confuse your "longings" or desires in childhood as an accurate representation of your desires now.   Sure, you still may want to go or "think" you want to go b/c it's a "childhood fantasy".   Only you know for sure.

 

The fact that your posted makes me think you are not "set" on moving in your own mind.  
 

When I was in high school I also wanted to go with my sister on spring break to visit NYC.    It never did happen and I'm not at a loss for not going. 

 

Maybe you like the idea of visiting NYC but not living there.   

 

Just food for thought.   It may be right up your alley.  Just thoughts here.......  

 

[Spryte]

Go, go, go! This is your lifelong dream. You love NYC. Go! Do!

 

I have no practical advice, only support for you doing what your heart leads you to do.

 

This is an adventure. Embrace it.

 

You'll have a blast.

 

And you can always head back to suburbia later.

[Scarlett]

Much of this decision has to be guided by your dh's career correct? So are you at the point of deciding to take the job or just deciding whether to move in to the city?

[Luanne]

I wouldn't want to, but that is just me.

[AngieW in Texas]

I thought I would hate NYC, but I visited this summer with my 17yo for college tours and found that I actually liked it. I loved being able to walk and take the subway everywhere. I would not be overweight in NYC because walking is so much easier than it is at home.

 

Definitely take at least a couple of days to visit and see what you think.

 

Central Park was awesome!

[Starr]

Angela (and other NYC experts), do people in places like Park Slope and Brooklyn Heights usually have cars, or are cars less common? I mean, I guess we COULD keep our van, but I hear the parking is expensive and kind of a pain. What is life like in the Brooklyn neighborhoods that are closer to Manhattan? Like, how far of a walk is it to a grocery store? Are there exciting things going on in the street or do we need to go to Manhattan for that jazz?

 

(I guess we should go up and see Brooklyn. I've never been there--only Manhattan.)

 

People have been moving to Brooklyn from Manhattan with families for years. Most of my friends in Brooklyn have cars but don't drive them every day. We were in Manhattan for 10 years without a car. We rented one a few times a year to go to the "country".  What kind of "exciting things going on in the street" are you expecting to see on a day to day basis on a residential street?

[SeaConquest]

I worked and lived downtown when I was in banking. I adore NYC, but there is no way that I would want to live in Manhattan with 4 young kids. Too much to schlep all over the place in weather that is all over the map. If I had a dog walker and a nanny, I could make it work. Otherwise, no. I would keep the big ole house in the burbs -- especially since you are in DC/VA. The DC metro is a lovely place as well. It's not NYC, but it still has incredible opportunities for schooling, culture, etc.  

 

If you are set on the move, then I agree with the others about looking in some of the other boroughs with a reasonable commute. Personally, I prefer CT or Westchester County, but that will likely be longer than 30 minutes to midtown.  

[Cammie]

I grew up in Forest Hills, Queens.  If you can afford Manhatten - you should look at Forest Hills.  One of the most beautiful areas in the NY metro area. 

 

I would move to NYC in a heartbeat....if we were going to have the $$$ to enjoy it!

 

I recently faced a similar dilemna.  My DH was going to be offered an expat assignment to Cambridge, UK.  YES, CAMBRIDGE.  It was a dream come true.  I was so excited.  Kids were so excited. 

 

Then we looked at the expat package - no way.  We would not have been in a position to live the life we have now, or to take advantage of the wonderful opportunities that would have been available living in the UK.  Money would have been an issue all the time.

 

We turned it down.  It would have been no fun to be there...but not be able to do the things I would want to do with the kids.

 

Good luck!

[Laura Corin]

You'd have to pay for parking too if you are living in Manhattan (or deal with opposite side parking when in the boroughs).

 

 

FWIW, when we lived in London we didn't have a car.  If we wanted to go away for the weekend, we rented a car.  It's difficult to get out of London on a Friday night, so an even better idea is to take a train to one of the airports and pick up a car there - then you are straight out into the countryside.  Renting cars from airports tends to be cheaper too.  I don't know if NYC is similar.

[Laura Corin]

Or better yet, when they can do things on their own and you don't have to take them because there's really no reason a 12 year old with a Metrocard can't get herself up to the Met. I'm looking eagerly forward to the day when I don't have to escort either of them practically anywhere. Just 30 more months!

 

Yes.  Calvin was exploring Hong Kong on his own at twelve - public transport and walkable neighbourhoods are such a boon to growing children.

[displace]

If we had to move there (again) we would. There are a lot of benefits to large city living. I'll agree with prior posters regarding costs. For us it was too crowded and we lived in a borough. And we were too poor to do fun things often. So that colors my perspective.

 

Maybe consider relocating where you are now? If your DH works in DC, why not move there? DC has a ton of opportunities. Same idea with a closer city. Or consider less gardening to have more weekend time, house help to decrease cleaning time from your house.

 

The income we'd need to move to NYC financially would have to be enormous to live there. But everyone is different and that's what's great about this. If this is an opportunity for you that would be beneficial and your family sees it as such, that's what may work for you. Ita it sounds like the commute is too much. We personally aim for as short a commute as possible.

[ErinE]

I've been thinking about your situation because we were there a few years ago. Since you're looking at four bedrooms in NYC, you could probably afford a short term rental, two to three months. This would give you time to get familiar with the city, get out of the vacation mindset, and set up a routine. You would experience walking the dog, schlepping the stroller around, wrangling the kids, dealing with a meltdown, and fielding the many helpful comments New Yorkers will offer while your child throws a fit.

 

In our situation, DH was taking the job anyways so it was choice between urban or suburban Boston. We rented an apartment on a short-term basis to give us time to explore the city and the surrounding area. The kids fought constantly, they couldn't burn off excess energy (we went to the park twice a day), and they were loud during the day or the neighbors were loud at night. I wouldn't count on people being at work during the day; in NYC and Boston, our neighbors kept different hours. I hated the smell of the neighbor's cigarette smoke that filled our apartment every night. Within six weeks, I was exhausted.

 

We were in a nice safe area, but the rent was astronomical and we could not have afforded it long term. I could not rely on Internet searches to find housing. Usually the best places were gone before being listed, and those that were on the internet were there for a reason (unsafe area or inaccurate description-a flex 3 that was two tiny rooms and a large closet). The short-term rental helped solidify our ultimate decision.

[madteaparty]

I should also like to say, at this point in our lives, we would move wherever DH's job took us. So in some cases there is no decision to make. Also, to temper my negative comments about the city, I am still moving back in a few years (for a few years). We move approx every 5 years so each move is not a huge deal. I just mention the negatives so you know what you're in for. For example, opposite side parking was such a pain that we sold our car after a while. There are many positives, obviously.

[Halcyon]

Angela (and other NYC experts), do people in places like Park Slope and Brooklyn Heights usually have cars, or are cars less common? I mean, I guess we COULD keep our van, but I hear the parking is expensive and kind of a pain. What is life like in the Brooklyn neighborhoods that are closer to Manhattan? Like, how far of a walk is it to a grocery store? Are there exciting things going on in the street or do we need to go to Manhattan for that jazz?

 

(I guess we should go up and see Brooklyn. I've never been there--only Manhattan.)

 

I grew up in Brooklyn Heights and it's a beautiful, very high end neighbourhood. It's wonderful for kids and there are parks and things to do. TONS of children. Very close to Manhattan, like 15 minutes by subway, so it's very easy to get there. My brother and his wife and two kids live there now and if you can afford it, that's the place I would live. They do have a car, but only to go to Long Island on the weekends, not for in-the-city use. They garage it ($800 a month) because alternate side of the street parking is a pain in the ass-it's basically a full time job (see the Seinfeld episode on this for more informatiion!!).

 

Grocery stores are right there, but msot people use freshdirect. There's starbucks, great restaurants, close subways, parks, a good-sized public library (not the fanciest, but good--we used to go to homeschool chess club there), you're RIGHT near the brooklyn bridge so nice to walk to manhattan on sunny days. There is a brand new waterfront park for children in Brooklyn Heights which is gorgeous: http://mommypoppins.com/content/things-to-do-in-brooklyn-bridge-park-with-kids

 

Here's a great summary of the things to do, both indoors and outdoors, for kids in Brooklyn Heights: http://mommypoppins.com/content/things-to-do-in-brooklyn-bridge-park-with-kids

 

Here's a beautiful 4 bedroom for rent: http://realestate.nytimes.com/rentals/detail/56-12984160/House-Garden-BROOKLYN-NY-11201

 

It's around the corner from where I grew up, steps from the Promenade with all the classic views of the Manhattan skyline. And it even has a small garden. It's on a gorgeous street.

 

Let me know if you have any other questions about Brooklyn Heights.