What Do You Consider Toilet Trained?

[mathmarm]

What level of competence and independence do you consider "toilet trained" (note the past tense)

Do kids just need to ID the need to go, or be able to take themselves?

Does needing help with clean up change your view of toilet trained?

 

People ask me about toilet training and I'm never sure what to say, what exactly constitutes "toilet trained" to most folks?

[Guest]

I considered DS toilet trained when he was fully capable of doing everything himself and didn't need me for anything.

 

(My view may be different had DS taken longer than 3 days to be toilet trained).

[Joker]

I consider being able to know they need to go and waiting to do so to be toilet trained. I don't think they have to be able to completely clean up after themselves, though.

 

 

ETA: Oldest knew within one hour of us trying to potty train that she didn't want to have an accident and never did again (not even at night). She still needed help cleaning up after a BM from time to time though.

[Btervet]

To me, it's not ever needing diapers. For oldest DS, being able to ID need to go happened way before he could take himself. And he needed help cleaning up long after he was in underwear full time. I consider the end of diapers toilet training for him.

 

The would obviously be different in a family who did a lot of EC, as some stop using diapers very early but would not necessarily consider their kids completely toilet trained at that stage.

[MomtoCandJ]

When able to use the toilet fairly independently (can go pee alone but needs helping cleaning up after a BM). Dd1 was my definition of potty trained at 2 yrs and 4 months, we pretty much followed her lead. We did initiate early though (as in we bought a potty/stool when she turned one and started putting her on it while changing diapers and we are doing the same with dd2). We also used/will be using cloth training pants. With dd1 we used them at home to help with heat rash (we lived in GA) and we think that helped so we are using cloth with dd2 this summer as it heat up.

[Farrar]

To me, it's not ever needing diapers. For oldest DS, being able to ID need to go happened way before he could take himself. And he needed help cleaning up long after he was in underwear full time. I consider the end of diapers toilet training for him.

 

The would obviously be different in a family who did a lot of EC, as some stop using diapers very early but would not necessarily consider their kids completely toilet trained at that stage.

 

I don't really love this definition simply because a lot of kids don't night train for a long time after they day train. My boys were in night diapers for nearly two years after they day trained. I mean, it's not super uncommon for 5 yos to still need a night pull up of some kind, but I certainly wouldn't say they weren't "toilet trained." I mean, it's just a growth thing.

 

I would expect a "toilet trained" child to be able to mostly handle the dressing and clean up on their own, but I wouldn't expect them to be at 100% necessarily.

[Audrey]

I agree with the 'not ever needing diapers' definition.  To me that means having full control over bladder and bowel movements so that there are no accidents.  I think it's perfectly fine to need to ask for assistance. Small children often need help with complicated clothing when dressing, so asking for help to undress/re-dress is not a problem, IMO. 

[MistyMountain]

I considered it when they were able to stay dry during the day, go without diapers and initiated going to the bathroom by themselves even if they still needed help with wiping for a bit. Night training sometimes took longer but even some older kids wet the bed at night and I consider those kids toilet trained.

[Farrar]

I agree with the 'not ever needing diapers' definition.  To me that means having full control over bladder and bowel movements so that there are no accidents.  I think it's perfectly fine to need to ask for assistance. Small children often need help with complicated clothing when dressing, so asking for help to undress/re-dress is not a problem, IMO. 

 

So a 9 yo boy with a medical bed wetting issue isn't "toilet trained"?

[Ailaena]

Know when they have to go, get there, go, and only occasionally need minimal assistance in the clean-up area, but possibly more assistance in the clothing area.  I remember dd had a pair of pants with a button fly, and I had NO idea that would be a huge issue during toilet time :P  

 

I also fully support not pushing it - only doing it when the child is ready (I only had one, so maybe that influenced me ;)).  Dd would not go near a toilet until a couple of months before she turned 3, not even a little baby potty.  One day, she spontaneously went on toilet and never went in a diaper again and never had an accident, even at night.

 

However, all bets are off at nighttime, because it seems like a totally different thing to me.

[mathmarm]

The would obviously be different in a family who did a lot of EC, as some stop using diapers very early but would not necessarily consider their kids completely toilet trained at that stage.

This is where we are at. Jr. can and does tell/alert us to his need to go more than 90% of the time and about half of the time he will go to the potty by himself as he's often bare-below when at home. The other half of the time he will tell us, but won't go unless we go with him but this is usually because he wants a "reader while he's on the seater."

 

However Jr can't do his own clean up and we don't expect him to--especially since he is usually bare bottomed around the house and we'd much rather wash him up and KNOW he is clean than have (not so) trace amounts of fecal matter or urine around the home.

[Audrey]

So a 9 yo boy with a medical bed wetting issue isn't "toilet trained"?

 

Please let's not start picky fights and taking stands on extraordinary cases.  Special needs are special needs and exceptions will be found everywhere.  The OP phrased the question in a general manner and has an extremely young child, so the usual age range of 2-5 seemed to apply.  That is how I was replying. 

[SeaConquest]

I distinguish between day and night trained. Potty trained, to me, is day trained. Night training is a completely different developmental animal. As far as wiping, my 5 year old still needed help. But, IMO, he was potty trained at 2 years old (he night trained at the same time as day trained, which is fairly rare).

[Laura Corin]

I distinguish between day and night trained. Potty trained, to me, is day trained. Night training is a completely different developmental animal. As far as wiping, my 5 year old still needed help. But, IMO, he was potty trained at 2 years old (he night trained at the same time as day trained, which is fairly rare).

I agree. One of mine decided on no nighttime nappies on the same day he gave them up for daytime. The other one needed night nappies and then pull ups for another few years. The latter child was toilet trained as far as going to school was concerned.

[Arcadia]

For the preschools, daycares and Ikea Smaland, it means no pull ups and the child knows when he/she needs to go to the restroom and does not need help in the restroom.  The aide for preschool/daycare would escort the child to and from the restroom if there is no attached toilet in the classroom but would not follow the child in.

[Veritaserum]

When I am no longer worried about daily accidents and the kid is in underwear full time, I consider that to be toilet trained. Ds2 is very close. He still wears pull-ups at night, but he wakes up dry most mornings. He wears underwear during the day, but he still has a couple of accidents per week.

[SKL]

I never called my kids "toilet trained."  I used "diaper free."  They were dry 24/7 because they didn't pee/poo except in the potty or toilet.  Logistically, being very small, they needed help unless there was a little potty or specially-equipped toilet that they could take themselves to.  They had a sign they would use to tell me they needed to go.  But I would also take them to the restroom at certain intervals, because I had no desire to deal with "accidents" after the initial boot camp stage.

 

It was years before either of them could be trusted to really clean themselves after a poo.  :P  I wouldn't hold out on calling a kid toilet-trained just based on a butt wiping deficiency.  If the kid knows when he needs to go, decides to go to the toilet, holds it until he gets there, and gets it in the right place almost every time, then I'd say he was toilet trained.  Even if he needs some help physically getting onto the toilet.

[Tsuga]

What level of competence and independence do you consider "toilet trained" (note the past tense)

Do kids just need to ID the need to go, or be able to take themselves?

Does needing help with clean up change your view of toilet trained?

 

People ask me about toilet training and I'm never sure what to say, what exactly constitutes "toilet trained" to most folks?

 

I don't use the term toilet-trained for this reason, unless someone is asking me at the doctor's office, but even then I just spit out a random number that sounds acceptable, like 18 months. Early but not insane.

 

• Out of diapers means, well, out of day diapers.
• Dry at night means dry at night.
• Toilet-independent is kind of an EC word but it means they can decide when to go and get there in time on a very regular basis, and can wipe. Like they don't have accidents except when sick and you don't have to think about it.

I think a LOT of kids spend quite a bit of time between out of diapers and dry at night, or out of diapers and toilet independent. It really depends on how good the kid is at planning. You might have an ADHD kid who is dry for years provided you remind her to use the toilet before every meal, outing, before bed, and every three hours otherwise, but who would have daily accidents throughout kindergarten otherwise. Just--a poor planner. Or another kid who is totally independent and even wants to wipe himself from age one, but who has short arms (this was actually the problem of one of my relative's kids, lol). So if they don't get butt-wiping help, they are going to have problems with itching, rashes, etc. And then of course night control--everything I have read by anyone not selling something suggests it's mostly genetic.

[Tanaqui]

For a typically developing child with no physical disabilities, that means they can fairly reliably get themselves to the toilet during waking hours (no more than one accident a month under normal circumstances, I guess, and that number rapidly declining) and that under normal circumstances they get handle nearly everything without requiring help. That is, I don't consider a kid "not toilet trained" if they need assistance undoing overalls when they normally wear skirts or "not toilet trained" if they can't go by themselves if it's an automatic flusher or if they won't go in an outhouse (unless an outhouse is typical for them, I suppose) or if they have an accident because they were on a five hour flight with lots of turbulence and couldn't get to the bathroom.

 

I'm agnostic on the subject of wiping. I guess I'd say that as long as they understand they should wipe, it counts, but needing help doesn't mean they aren't toilet trained.

 

I don't consider bedtime dryness important at all because that's a physical thing that's not within the child's control.

 

There are some disabilities which will affect how quickly or well a child can learn these things. In case of individuals with disabilities, I use their self-judgment or, if quite young, that of their parents/caregivers to determine whether they are "toilet trained". That's not my call to make.

[poppy]

For the preschools, daycares and Ikea Smaland, it means no pull ups and the child knows when he/she needs to go to the restroom and does not need help in the restroom. The aide for preschool/daycare would escort the child to and from the restroom if there is no attached toilet in the classroom but would not follow the child in.

This. Independent in the bathroom when needed, especially for things like drop off program or school. If a child can't wipe , pull up pants and wash hands without assistance (most of the time), I think of them as being still in the learning phase.

[Ausmumof3]

Interesting I think the definition here just means dry by day at least 90pc of the time with whatever level of cleanup assistance required. I think nights is generally a separate issue and most mums will give some level of assistance for a while.

[Melissa in Australia]

no longer need to wear a nappy during the day.

 

 

I have just got the twins toilet trained by this definition. It took me 6 months and was a uphill battle, but we got there :party: they are still getting some assistance- wiping bottom and making sure hands are washed.

[bettyandbob]

Typically, I would say being able to sense needing to go and going on own. May need help for cleanup (so mom needs to be aware child left his Legos and went to the toilet). May need reminders to go, but beyond being on a schedule, because the child has not taken over the sensing at all. So, a step beyond no daytime diapers.

 

There are daycares and preschools near me that do accept children who are on a schedule. Not all. The regulation have to o with qualifying a facility for regular changing, do I guess if they are comfortable taking over the scheduling it's ok.

 

My youngest is intellectually disabled. We got to the point of being on a schedule a couple weeks before his 5th birthday. His fifth birthday was less than two weeks before he started attending public school K. He was fully included in the class and they were OK with pull-ups for him, but I didn't want that to be another thing that set him apart, so we spent several weeks in summer in a huge push to get him to that point. It was another year before we didn't have a schedule. And several years before we stopped reminding him, but he only wet his pants twice at school through the elementary grades.

[Alice]

I go with out of diapers in the daytime with minimal or no accidents. I wouldn't factor in help needed with wiping or clean-up. 

 

I don't include nighttime wetting as part of toilet training. Many kids take a year or so to be dry at night after they are fully out of diapers in the day. Up to 15% of kids still wet at night at age 5, 10% at age 7 and up to 2-3% at age 10. Those kids are not usually special needs or have any other kind of disability or have any other medical diagnosis. Bedwetting tends to be very genetic and have more to do with a small bladder or deep sleeper than any kind of behavioral issue. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I considered fully trained when my kids were able to use the toilet independently and not ever need diapers.  Except maybe in public restrooms.  Sometimes those toilets are very high off the floor and they needed a bit of help.

 

I kinda shake my head when people claim to have trained their 1 year olds.  No that's more like mom is trained.  LOL  Not dissing, just saying that's not fully trained if I have to do most of it anyway.  I can imagine that beats diapers though.

 

 

[Katy]

Able to take self to toilet independently, diaper free, and no more than two daytime accidents per week is the definition I've used.

[SKL]

I kinda shake my head when people claim to have trained their 1 year olds.  No that's more like mom is trained.  LOL  Not dissing, just saying that's not fully trained if I have to do most of it anyway.  I can imagine that beats diapers though.

 

I don't hear people saying this though.  I never went around announcing my kids' potty achievements except occasionally to the very closest people (mom, sister).  But people would notice at gymnastics class that my kids were not in diapers, or they would notice that I took them to the toilet before/after some activity.  So they would ask / comment.  If asked I'd say they were out of diapers.

 

Usually it seemed to make people feel insecure if their kid was older and still in diapers.  So I stayed far away from the topic unless someone else brought it up.  I think the standard potty training advice given in this country is terrible, but it's not up to me to fix that.

[Hwin]

They wear undies during waking hours, and mostly keep them dry.

 

"Can use restroom independently" is its own category and something I think only church/preschool/camp needs to know.

 

I guess I have different categories because my oldest has fine motor delays and can run into problems with buttons and zippers.

 

 

[kewb]

To me, it means during waking hours they can identify their need to go to the bathroom and may or may not need assistance once in the bathroom. 

[gardenmom5]

there is daytime and nighttime - and I consider them separate.

 

daytime - they can self identify need, and go by themselves at home. may need help with fastenings.  may need help finding a bathroom (and even sitting on the toilet) when out and about.  may need help cleaning up with a bm.  (accidents are upsetting to them.)

 

nighttime.  there is a brain maturity with this as well, as the brain has to be able to wake them up to go. - they are dry, and are 'safe' to wear cotton underwear to bed.

[EKS]

Not needing diapers in the daytime.  May need help with cleanup or other logistics (especially when out of the house).

[Btervet]

I don't really love this definition simply because a lot of kids don't night train for a long time after they day train. My boys were in night diapers for nearly two years after they day trained. I mean, it's not super uncommon for 5 yos to still need a night pull up of some kind, but I certainly wouldn't say they weren't "toilet trained." I mean, it's just a growth thing.

 

I would expect a "toilet trained" child to be able to mostly handle the dressing and clean up on their own, but I wouldn't expect them to be at 100% necessarily.

Sorry, I wasn't really thinking about overnight. Night time can be such a different beast that I wouldn't really consider it when thinking of toilet trained.

[KungFuPanda]

To me, toilet trained means there are no diapers and VERY few (less than weekly) accidents. The kids handle it themselves at home. I do accept the littler ones shouting "I'm finished!" to mom as part of early toilet training. I don't consider daytime-only or constant accidents to be traits of a potty trained child.

 

We all had that one friend who swore her kid was potty trained but packed for the inevitable daily 'accidents."

[LucyStoner]

As someone who wet the bed due to bladder issues (ultimately I ended up having surgery) well past age 7, I also think of potty trained as applying to waking hours. Looking at the number of options for big kid night pants and bed mats, I guessing I wasn't really that unusual as a bed wetter. I wish we would have had that stuff when I was a kid.

 

I guess my rule of thumb is when a daytime accident is truly an anomoly (similar to an adult who fails to hold it for a crazy long amount of time in a car or something), that is potty trained. My older son was potty trained and dry at night before three. My younger son wasn't consistently dry at night until closer to 5 and still occasionally wets the bed. I still consider him potty trained because he wears underwear, I don't need to pack a change of clothes and he knows when and how to use the toilet during the day.

[Petrichor]

For one of mine, it would have saved me a lot of stress if I defined it as being able to use the bathroom independently (but maybe still needs a reminder to go). He was dry at night, but would refuse to use the bathroom during the day, and would kick and scream when we physically took him to the bathroom, because he felt he should only use the bathroom when his bladder was so full it could burst.

 

But when I would see rules stating that the child must be potty trained, I would think "no diapers or pull ups, and no accidents while awake and knowing there is a restroom nearby."  

 

 

[catz]

I consider complete bathroom independence being trained.  If you are putting a little on the toliet regularly and they are having accidents when you forget, then YOU the adult are trained.  Both my kids trained kind of late, but in a matter of days they were independent.  I was not good with reminding and remembering, so they really had to know on their own when to go. 

 

I do also consider that for waking hours.  My DS wet the bed on and off until about age 8 and I know kids who did longer that hadn't had a daytime accident in many years. 

[poppy]

They wear undies during waking hours, and mostly keep them dry.

 

"Can use restroom independently" is its own category and something I think only church/preschool/camp needs to know.

 

I guess I have different categories because my oldest has fine motor delays and can run into problems with buttons and zippers.

 

I don't really agree with this.  I don't think toilet trained means "doesn't pee himself".  If a 5 year old is not capable of wiping after a standard / daily BM, that means  can't use the restroom independently, and he is not "toilet trained".  It's OK if that's the case! There is nothing wrong with developing at your own pace. But he is still in the learning process.

[MrsWeasley]

I have a hard time with this, too. Reliably using the toilet day and night happened around 1.5 years for all of my kids, but most of them couldn't do snaps, zippers, or buttons until well after their second birthday. I sometimes call them potty trained even when they still need help with clothing, especially since a lot of childcare forms make me choose either potty trained or in diapers and i want my kids taken to the bathroom even if they still need help. I also think they are fine going to activities that require the child to be potty trained. I will often use diaper-free instead, as that's more accurate.

[sagira]

If it were for not ever needing diapers again, my four-year-old is not potty trained yet

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[SKL]

I have a hard time with this, too. Reliably using the toilet day and night happened around 1.5 years for all of my kids, but most of them couldn't do snaps, zippers, or buttons until well after their second birthday. I sometimes call them potty trained even when they still need help with clothing, especially since a lot of childcare forms make me choose either potty trained or in diapers and i want my kids taken to the bathroom even if they still need help. I also think they are fine going to activities that require the child to be potty trained. I will often use diaper-free instead, as that's more accurate.

 

I only bought clothes my kids could manage.  It just seemed logical.  So does that mean they were not actually "potty trained"?  ;)

 

I don't really understand the focus on whether the kid or the parent is "trained."  Nobody seems to have this issue with other things.  Like self-feeding.  I don't hear people saying with derision, "she says her kid can feed himself, but gimme a break, she's putting the food in front of him at a certain time each day.  I don't call it self-feeding until he knows he's hungry, goes and gets the food, prepares it, eats it with a utensil, cleans the dishes and washes his hands, all by himself, every time he eats."  ;)

[KungFuPanda]

I only bought clothes my kids could manage. It just seemed logical. So does that mean they were not actually "potty trained"? ;)

 

I don't really understand the focus on whether the kid or the parent is "trained." Nobody seems to have this issue with other things. Like eating. I don't hear people saying with derision, "she says her kid eats, but gimme a break, she's putting the food in front of him at a certain time each day. I don't call it eating until he knows he's hungry, goes and gets the food, prepares it, eats it with a utensil, cleans the dishes and washes his hands, all by himself, every time he eats." ;)

I think in that example, people would draw the line between when the mother is spoon feeding the child and the child can reliably handle the utensils himself. The point being, it's the kid's job now and the mother doesn't do it for him anymore.

 

Maybe this is just my own self-serving definition of potty-trained showing through. For me "potty trained" meant I was no longer buying diapers or doing extraneous potty-laundry and the kid was fairly independent at home. I was never good at the incessant reminders. Oddly, BOTH my kids potty training coincided with giving up naps.

[MrsWeasley]

I only bought clothes my kids could manage.  It just seemed logical.  So does that mean they were not actually "potty trained"?  ;)

 

I don't really understand the focus on whether the kid or the parent is "trained."  Nobody seems to have this issue with other things.  Like eating.  I don't hear people saying with derision, "she says her kid eats, but gimme a break, she's putting the food in front of him at a certain time each day.  I don't call it eating until he knows he's hungry, goes and gets the food, prepares it, eats it with a utensil, cleans the dishes and washes his hands, all by himself, every time he eats."  ;)

I'm sure that's much more logical, but I love toddlers in overalls and footie pajamas and all sorts of other impossible for very young toddlers to manage, and to me, it's worth it.

[catz]

I think it's fine if a parent calls their 18 month old potty trained and is doing lots of reminders and is cleaning up accidents now and again.  Whatever works for your family.  I know kids that go to daycare or are just in the home all the time and that is a HUGE focus of their days working on using the potty.

 

Again, this is a semantics thing, I just can't get too bent out of shape about it.  We have good homeschool friends whose 18 month old was trained, but had an accident like over the half the time we were out of the house with them and she always had to carry extra clothes.  She called her potty trained.  Fine by me - that was working for her family (although she peed on my rugs/furniture a couple times - LOL).  She became reliably and independently potty trained at the  same age my kids did (which is what I called trained). We just didn't have a reliable enough routine to attempt early potty training at our house and what can I say, I'm lazy?  My kids also have sensory quirks, so I didn't want to push my luck.  

 

ETA - I think this child WAS probably 99% potty trained at her own house with her little potty and regular routine and no or very simple pull up/down bottoms on.  We just didn't have the kind of routine that would lend itself well to that at our house. 

 

I think I'm sensitive to the fact that some people were rolling their eyes because my kids trained LATE.  Who cares?  Whatever works for you.  My kid who trained latest was reading at a junior high level in kindergarten.  I don't think potty training timelines is an indication of anything at all unless you suspect the child has a medical issue. 

[Farrar]

To me, 90% of the time or multiple accidents in a week isn't really toilet trained. I would expect a toilet trained kid to have a few accidents early on, but really for them to be way less than once a week. I also think that being able to use the bathroom with a non-parent figure is probably key. It's a great step up when we're so keyed into our kids that we know just went to make them go, but asking to use the bathroom and advocating for one's own needs is sort of important in this context, and something most 3 yos can do.

 

I feel like the "no diapers ever" people probably all had kids who night trained within a few months of day training and not, as is not uncommon, within a few years. There are a lot more 5 yos who wear pull ups to sleep than perhaps people realize.

[zoobie]

Potty trained = kid in underpants and you don't worry about him sitting on your sofa.

 

Night is a different issue IMO. One of mine was totally reliable during the day by 2.5 but needed Pull Ups at night until nearly 6. Turns out it was related to sleep apnea which resolved after tonsillectomy/adenoid removal. My oldest was totally reliable during the day before 2 but needed night pull ups until around 4. Neither ever had an accident after the first few days of being in underpants, and it never would've crossed my mind to equate their sleep habits with not being potty trained.

[Guest]

I distinguish between day and night trained. Potty trained, to me, is day trained. Night training is a completely different developmental animal. As far as wiping, my 5 year old still needed help. But, IMO, he was potty trained at 2 years old (he night trained at the same time as day trained, which is fairly rare).

This is us. My kids have been fully potty trained, as in able to take themselves to the bathroom, pull up their pants, wipe poop, accident free, etc, between 3-4 years old. But they are not dry fully at night or naptime until several years later - we have family bed wetting issues. I'm not telling a second or fourth grader they're not potty trained because of a medical issue (even when we wake them to get them out of bed they aren't really alert) - it's a totally separate thing to me. Daytime trained is just fine for us, and we will use cloth diapers and pull-ups until the night issues resolve themselves.

[Guest]

I don't hear people saying this though. I never went around announcing my kids' potty achievements except occasionally to the very closest people (mom, sister). But people would notice at gymnastics class that my kids were not in diapers, or they would notice that I took them to the toilet before/after some activity. So they would ask / comment. If asked I'd say they were out of diapers.

 

Usually it seemed to make people feel insecure if their kid was older and still in diapers. So I stayed far away from the topic unless someone else brought it up. I think the standard potty training advice given in this country is terrible, but it's not up to me to fix that.

Here here. Unless my kids are begging to use the potty we don't even try until three years old. I'd rather change diapers than have accidents.

[SKL]

 

ETA - I think this child WAS probably 99% potty trained at her own house with her little potty and regular routine and no or very simple pull up/down bottoms on.  We just didn't have the kind of routine that would lend itself well to that at our house. 

 

Right, and so what outsiders see may not be what is happening 99% of the time.

 

I'm a single mom, so I had to take my kids on every personal errand.  For some months, that meant we went to the bathroom, drove to the store (about a half hour away), went to the store bathroom, did our shopping, went to the next store, visited that store's bathroom, etc., all day Saturday.  Same thing when we visited people.  Yes, I was taking my kids to the bathroom on my schedule instead of leaving it up to them.  I didn't want to deal with an "emergency" at a most inopportune time.  Seems reasonable to me.

 

Like, when you all go on a road trip, and you know you're going to be in the car for a long time, don't you tell even your fully-trained kids to go to the bathroom first?  Tots just need to do that more frequently.

[SeaConquest]

Here here. Unless my kids are begging to use the potty we don't even try until three years old. I'd rather change diapers than have accidents.

 

I'm big on early potty learning. In part, it's because I loathe the thought of diapering for another year, but also, I've seen so many older kids have potty issues as they've become more stubborn. I start introducing the potty around 18 months, when most kids are curious about it. I do the 3-day method over a weekend when they are two, and combine it with lots of outdoor nakey time.   

[PeacefulChaos]

What level of competence and independence do you consider "toilet trained" (note the past tense)

Do kids just need to ID the need to go, or be able to take themselves?

Does needing help with clean up change your view of toilet trained?

 

People ask me about toilet training and I'm never sure what to say, what exactly constitutes "toilet trained" to most folks?

 

IMO, it's when they are asking to go and can do so semi-independently.  

 

Needing help with clothes - or with cleanup from certain 'jobs' - is okay.  

 

 

To me, the main thing is this (from working in the 2-3 year old class): Don't tell me your child is potty trained if you actually mean that you take him to the bathroom every 15 minutes and wait for him to go.  Because when I hear those words, having to do that is not what comes to mind!!!   :D  I expect the kid to know s/he needs to go.  If they need help, even, that's okay - but a child who has to be reminded to go to the bathroom every single time is not potty trained.  

 

 

\ETA: Upon reading other replies, I feel the need to clarify 2 things lol:

 

First off, regarding what I said in the last paragraph - It isn't that I mind the semantics you use.  If you (general) want to refer to your child as potty trained, it doesn't matter to me the specifics of it.  However, I can't be expected to know that is what you mean.  So don't come back and give me sideways looks when, an hour later, I'm calling you to come get him because he's soaked through his clothes twice so we have no extra clothes left to put on him; or when you come back at the end and he's wearing clothes that aren't yours (that we've had to borrow from another child, with the parent's permission) and is wearing a diaper.  

That's why toilet trained for a structured activity like that needs to be clearly spelled out.  ;P  :P

 

As for the other thing, night trained, I wasn't even thinking about that.  I had one who was fully day and night trained all of a sudden one day the week they turned 3; one who was day trained at 2 years and 4 months but not night trained until past age 5 when we bought one of those alarms to wake them up; and one who I had to do the 'most difficult' route with and take out of pull ups and diapers altogether because if they were wearing them, they'd go in them.  (the other two could have something on and purposely not go in it)  That one was the latest at about 3 years and 2 months, but was also fully day and night trained at that point.