luuknam Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 "These are THE CUTEST boys in all of God's creation!" If it does bug you, why? I'll add more details about the situation later, time to go deal with my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I don't think it would bother me but I have no context. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Well ... it would bother me if the subjects in question were, in fact, girls.... Beyond that, I suppose I'd notice that they were being praised not for something they did or said under their own power, but for something they can do nothing about either way. But that's pretty typical in our society, so I wouldn't be upset at all with the person who said it. And then there's the God angle, which sometimes makes me wince. Of course, if one of them looked just like me, I might be doing a little private preening.... So, I guess overall, it wouldn't really bother me, no. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiden Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 It does actually bother me some when people say that a certain child or group of children is the most anything in the world--cutest, smartest, most adorable, etc. It's because I'm such a literal person. When I hear that kind of statement, my mind goes not to the children being complimented, but to all the other children in the world who are being dismissed as not as cute/smart/adorable/whatever as the children who are being complimented. I know that most people who say that type of thing don't intend to disparage other kids, but no matter their intentions, that *is* what their words are saying. I don't say anything about it to the person who made the complimentary comment, just say "thank you" if it's my kid who's being complimented, because I know that no harm is meant. I don't make those comments myself, though. I say things more like "He's so adorable!" or "He's such a cute kid!" Even with my own daughter, I only make comparisons that I'm certain are true--I will tell her that I love her more than any other child, or that she's my favorite child, because she is (I don't have other kids--if I did, I'd have to start modifying). I will tell her that she's more polite than a specific other child (but not until we're alone!). I do not, however, tell her that she's the "best" at something, or "cutest," or "smartest," or "anything-est" unless it's clear that I'm comparing her to a specific group for whom I believe the comparison holds true--not to all the kids in the world. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Without knowing the context, I'd say no. I've said that someone's kid is "the cutest kid ever." Because, at that moment, he or she is, to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Not really, but I'd be rolling my eyes when nobody was looking. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Not at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I try not to take offense at compliments unless it's really unavoidable. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 No. It is just an expression really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 It wouldn't bother me. My MIL mostly spoke in superlatives. And the religious reference wouldn't worry me either. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 No. The religious angle would make me cringe a little, but I'd accept it for what it was, if indeed this were a single, simple compliment. If there are extenuating circumstances, I might feel differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 For the details: this was my MIL talking about my kids, in an email, to me. I'd sent her an email with pictures of my 4yo getting his yellow belt and my 7yo getting his green belt (she's always nagging me for more pictures). So, that's what she sent as her reply, followed by "I always enjoy seeing their faces!". Not a word about the belts or w/e. It was bugging me because hyperbole like that just bugs me in general. It also just felt disrespectful of god in a way - kind of like saying he did a better job on her own grandkids than on the other kids in the world. That said, I'm not religious, so I'm not real qualified to comment on that angle. Which is another reason it bugged me... why does she feel the need to throw god into the reply when she knows I don't believe? Her faith is already in her signature. I guess it's also making me feel odd, because I wouldn't say my kids are the cutest kids in the entire world... and they're my kids. So when someone else says they're the cutest, it makes me feel like somehow I'm not thinking they're cute enough. I think my kids are cute, but I wouldn't make some objective statement about them being the cutest. Maybe the cutest to me... I do say things like "You're my favorite (name) and you're my favorite (other name)". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I don't have enough information, and I'm not sure what you mean by "bother." If it was someone talking to a couple of very little boys in that koochie koochie way some ladies do, then I wouldn't think anything of it. People tend to exaggerate wee kids' wonderfulness. It seems quite harmless. But personally I would not say that because it kind of goes against my grain to say anyone or anything is the best in the world. I would rather keep my compliments as genuine as possible. My Indian friend introduced me to the concept that praising a child is bad because of what they call "nazar" (sp?) or the evil eye. The mythical explanation is that the bad spirits will curse a child who is held up above others. In my mind, the rational explanation is that there is often some jealousy behind it when one compliments another parent's child, especially over something that child does/has better than their own child/relatives/self. So folks from certain cultural backgrounds do indeed get offended or go into protective mode if someone compliments their child. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Just saw your update. I see it's a granny thing. Perfectly normal and natural. :) "In all God's creation" is a common saying, it doesn't mean she's preaching religion. :) 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Wouldn't bother me at all. She's a grandma. She loves her grandkids. People say stuff like that all the time. Are they really nd truly the cutest? Probably not. Does it hurt anything for a grandma to say they are? Not in the least. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 The statement alone wouldn't bother me if it was said by 99% of the people in the world. However, it would bother me if the other 1% said it, but that's only because just about everything that 1% says annoys the heck out of me for various reasons. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 The overly emotional attitude with it is what really bothers me and lots of women that I have come across are like that. I love my dd, I love our friends and family, but get so much of that stuff from certain people that it is just like come on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 For the details: this was my MIL talking about my kids, in an email, to me. I'd sent her an email with pictures of my 4yo getting his yellow belt and my 7yo getting his green belt (she's always nagging me for more pictures). So, that's what she sent as her reply, followed by "I always enjoy seeing their faces!". Not a word about the belts or w/e. It was bugging me because hyperbole like that just bugs me in general. It also just felt disrespectful of god in a way - kind of like saying he did a better job on her own grandkids than on the other kids in the world. That said, I'm not religious, so I'm not real qualified to comment on that angle. Which is another reason it bugged me... why does she feel the need to throw god into the reply when she knows I don't believe? Her faith is already in her signature. I guess it's also making me feel odd, because I wouldn't say my kids are the cutest kids in the entire world... and they're my kids. So when someone else says they're the cutest, it makes me feel like somehow I'm not thinking they're cute enough. I think my kids are cute, but I wouldn't make some objective statement about them being the cutest. Maybe the cutest to me... I do say things like "You're my favorite (name) and you're my favorite (other name)". My MIL was like that - hyperbole was her normal mode and religion was part of her normal vocabulary: it didn't occur to her not to use religious phrases. It didn't worry me. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 The overly emotional attitude with it is what really bothers me and lots of women that I have come across are like that. I love my dd, I love our friends and family, but get so much of that stuff from certain people that it is just like come on. Yes! That too. The overly emotional attitude is one reason that I try to avoid dealing with her. It's just too much. If I fail to send her some pictures of the kids for x period of time, she starts fishing for them in a variety of ways. She's sent me pictures of her dog looking all sad saying that he's missing the kids, for example. She's one of those people who thinks the dog is her baby, btw. I wish she had more grandkids, but these are her only two (the downside of my wife not having any siblings). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Aww.. don't overthink it. It's just an expression. Take it as it's meant to be, a compliment about her grandchildren she obviously thinks the world of. 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You have boys; you'll be the mil someday. Your sons are learning how the mother of the father is supposed to be treated, even if you don't think they "know." Accept your mil. Be happy she thinks your kids are cute. Her statement is not one I'd read as proselytizing; it's just an expression. Try really, really hard not to let yourself get bugged by stuff that is just different and is not ill-intended. Love on her. ETA: Sorry, that sounds bossy. I just want to encourage you to be positive in your relationship with your mil. My sons are now the age to be marrying. I dread a dil rejecting me over things I don't even know I'm doing, so some of my own stuff in there. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Just saw your update. I see it's a granny thing. Perfectly normal and natural. :) "In all God's creation" is a common saying, it doesn't mean she's preaching religion. :) Yup, I think it's the grandma thing. My parents adore my son, my mom and son share a birthday and they are best buddies. Even so, sometimes she didn't get the achievements he had at a younger age. Sometimes it was because these were not things we did as kids and it had been a long while since she'd had kids that age too. Her frame of reference was much different. We started reminding ds that he needed to explain to grandma what some of these things were, so they could compliment the achievement and not just comment on cuteness (which really is just one way to say she adores their pictures - not just commenting on physical cuteness). 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I agree under the circumstances it was a nice thing to say. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Now that you've added context - no, wouldn't bother me, she's a grandma after all. The "God's creation" reference - eh, just an expression. And I wouldn't necessarily expect grandma to understand the significance of the belts. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Sometimes a compliment is just a compliment. Sounds like your MIL loves the kids, appreciates your sending her pictures, and was sharing that. Unless there's more history behind the incident, she's just being a grandma. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 When my dc were younger they sure looked cute in their martial arts uniforms. Most people outside of martial arts have no idea the work your boys put into achieving their new belts. Congratulations to them! 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 As someone who is often unnecessarily critical of my well-meaning MIL, I feel comfortable suggesting that you are being unnecessarily critical of your well-meaning MIL. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I would be rolling my eyes at the overly dramatic hyperbole. whatever. it wouldn't bug me, per se, but it wouldn't impress me much either. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I can't imagine being bugged by grandma saying that. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 For the details: this was my MIL talking about my kids, in an email, to me. I'd sent her an email with pictures of my 4yo getting his yellow belt and my 7yo getting his green belt (she's always nagging me for more pictures). So, that's what she sent as her reply, followed by "I always enjoy seeing their faces!". Not a word about the belts or w/e. It was bugging me because hyperbole like that just bugs me in general. It also just felt disrespectful of god in a way - kind of like saying he did a better job on her own grandkids than on the other kids in the world. That said, I'm not religious, so I'm not real qualified to comment on that angle. Which is another reason it bugged me... why does she feel the need to throw god into the reply when she knows I don't believe? Her faith is already in her signature. I guess it's also making me feel odd, because I wouldn't say my kids are the cutest kids in the entire world... and they're my kids. So when someone else says they're the cutest, it makes me feel like somehow I'm not thinking they're cute enough. I think my kids are cute, but I wouldn't make some objective statement about them being the cutest. Maybe the cutest to me... I do say things like "You're my favorite (name) and you're my favorite (other name)". are you more upset she didn't mention anything about them progressing in their chosen martial art? do you tend to take things literally? I am religious, and consider her statement referring to God as *clearly* over-the-top hyperbole (which would have me rolling my eyes so much it might make me dizzy) that does nothing for her credibility. how religious is your mil? some people use religious terms in their everyday speech as freely as others use profanity. it's the way they talk. grandmother's are supposed to engage in hyperbole about how wonderful their grandchildren are. it's in their job description. be glad your children's actually does that rather than ignores them, or worse - criticizes everything they do. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Yes! That too. The overly emotional attitude is one reason that I try to avoid dealing with her. It's just too much. If I fail to send her some pictures of the kids for x period of time, she starts fishing for them in a variety of ways. She's sent me pictures of her dog looking all sad saying that he's missing the kids, for example. She's one of those people who thinks the dog is her baby, btw. I wish she had more grandkids, but these are her only two (the downside of my wife not having any siblings). My mom does annoying stuff like that. She only wants the show (cute kids!) and doesn't pay attention to the deeper things (belt! reality!). It's frustrating. She has a surface only relationship with them. It's easier to text a picture preemptively than deal with the whining. My DH would never take that on for me. I'd guess your MIL doesn't understand the belts and comments on what she does understand, the cute kids. Roll your eyes and send one of them covered in mud or something next time. ;) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 For the details: this was my MIL talking about my kids, in an email, to me. I'd sent her an email with pictures of my 4yo getting his yellow belt and my 7yo getting his green belt (she's always nagging me for more pictures). So, that's what she sent as her reply, followed by "I always enjoy seeing their faces!". Not a word about the belts or w/e. It was bugging me because hyperbole like that just bugs me in general. It also just felt disrespectful of god in a way - kind of like saying he did a better job on her own grandkids than on the other kids in the world. That said, I'm not religious, so I'm not real qualified to comment on that angle. Which is another reason it bugged me... why does she feel the need to throw god into the reply when she knows I don't believe? Her faith is already in her signature. I guess it's also making me feel odd, because I wouldn't say my kids are the cutest kids in the entire world... and they're my kids. So when someone else says they're the cutest, it makes me feel like somehow I'm not thinking they're cute enough. I think my kids are cute, but I wouldn't make some objective statement about them being the cutest. Maybe the cutest to me... I do say things like "You're my favorite (name) and you're my favorite (other name)". I think you're over thinking this. I'm a grandma and have said to my dil that my granddaughter is the sweetest little girl in the world. To me she is. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 My mom has never said anything to me about my kids' accomplishments. (We are hoping to get our green belts soon, but they also do a lot of other stuff that some grandmas might gush over.) Some people just don't focus on that stuff. My mom has said my kids were cute (when they were little). Also, I think young kids in martial arts uniforms are extremely cute. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I try not to take offense at compliments unless it's really unavoidable. :iagree: there's enough tension in the world without going looking for it in places where none is intended . . . . . 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I think you are way over thinking it. She's a grandma that is in gaga love with her grand kids. Let her gush all she wants. That's what grandmas do. It's not about you or your different beliefs. She just used a very common expression. Now that said I will admit that my MIL would make a comments over and over and yes it irritated me. She would say, "He is just too pretty to be a boy. It's such a shame." Really ticked me off every time she said that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Now that said I will admit that my MIL would make a comments over and over and yes it irritated me. She would say, "He is just too pretty to be a boy. It's such a shame." Really ticked me off every time she said that. LOL! You should put him in a dress and pigtails the next time you visit. ;) My kid brother was also too pretty to be a boy. And strangers used to think he was a girl. It could be worse. :P 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 Now that said I will admit that my MIL would make a comments over and over and yes it irritated me. She would say, "He is just too pretty to be a boy. It's such a shame." Really ticked me off every time she said that. LOL. I'd tell her "well, maybe he'll decide to transition and become a really pretty girl some day". But then and again, my MIL would have the sense to not make that kind of comment, since her only son is now her only daughter. I can see how that kind of comment would bug you though. It sounds like she was maybe trying to get you to have more kids and give her a granddaughter? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Even with the context it doesn't bother me. Grandma gushing over her grandkids. As for not mentioning the belts she probably is unaware of just how big a deal it is and is busy kvelling over her adorable grandchildren. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I'm going to add that a couple of the comments in this thread make me even more thankful for my dil and how well she treats me and how she blesses me by letting me be super-involved with my grandgirl. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I wouldn't say anything to the person, but that would cause me to eye roll for sure. And if they said it in front of my kids, I would be even more annoyed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 For the details: this was my MIL talking about my kids, in an email, to me. I'd sent her an email with pictures of my 4yo getting his yellow belt and my 7yo getting his green belt (she's always nagging me for more pictures). So, that's what she sent as her reply, followed by "I always enjoy seeing their faces!". Not a word about the belts or w/e. It was bugging me because hyperbole like that just bugs me in general. It also just felt disrespectful of god in a way - kind of like saying he did a better job on her own grandkids than on the other kids in the world. That said, I'm not religious, so I'm not real qualified to comment on that angle. Which is another reason it bugged me... why does she feel the need to throw god into the reply when she knows I don't believe? Her faith is already in her signature. I guess it's also making me feel odd, because I wouldn't say my kids are the cutest kids in the entire world... and they're my kids. So when someone else says they're the cutest, it makes me feel like somehow I'm not thinking they're cute enough. I think my kids are cute, but I wouldn't make some objective statement about them being the cutest. Maybe the cutest to me... I do say things like "You're my favorite (name) and you're my favorite (other name)". These thoughts aren't quite in order, sorry. 1. Religious people often do and say things that strike me as "...are you sure that's not sacrilegious?", but I try to keep my thoughts to myself (except in a few very limited circumstances that are not relevant to this conversation). Their relationship with their deity is their business, not mine. 2. The fact that she didn't mention the accomplishment sounds really annoying. Maybe she doesn't know what a big deal it is? Or just doesn't quite know what to say in that situation? 3. Hyperbole can be annoying, and I agree that that particular expression is a little cutesy. But it's well-meant, and probably the truth to her when she says it. It's probably not worth the mental energy to be too annoyed over this. This strikes me as an excuse for a reverse-curse jar. Every time she says something over-the-top and annoying, put a quarter in it. When it's full, go buy yourself a new book. You deserve it for biting your tongue. (It's also okay for you not to think your kids are the very best ones ever. Probably healthier in the long run than being convinced they're the cutest, smartest, bravest, strongest, most wonderfulest....) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 The expression won't bother me. Some people just speak that way. As for grandma not noticing the belts, I would say my extended family don't notice achievements unless explicitly pointed out to them. My aunts and uncles would have only noticed medals or trophies on photos and ask what competition it was. It's just not on their radar. They would notice details like hair cut and height in photo though so they would mention my kids hair looks thick or that my boys had a growth spurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 are you more upset she didn't mention anything about them progressing in their chosen martial art? do you tend to take things literally? I am religious, and consider her statement referring to God as *clearly* over-the-top hyperbole (which would have me rolling my eyes so much it might make me dizzy) that does nothing for her credibility. how religious is your mil? some people use religious terms in their everyday speech as freely as others use profanity. it's the way they talk. grandmother's are supposed to engage in hyperbole about how wonderful their grandchildren are. it's in their job description. be glad your children's actually does that rather than ignores them, or worse - criticizes everything they do. Nope, not upset about her not mentioning the belts. I mentioned it just to make clear that those two sentences were her entire reply. Although it would have been thoughtful if she'd said something about the belts. Even if you're clueless about martial arts it doesn't seem like it'd be rocket science to say "congratulations" or something. My oldest has been doing martial arts for almost 2 years. She knows that, and this is not the first belt test. But w/e. My main reason for posting was that I was curious how other people (especially religious people) would view the "THE CUTEST boys in all of God's creation" comment. Like I said, it seems to me like it would be a little offensive to god, like she feels she has the right to judge some parts of his creation as being better than other parts of his creation. As to how religious she is, she goes to church every Sunday and prays before meals. I guess about the same as how I was raised until my parents dropped the religion thing when I was about 11. And yes, I'm literal. To a fault. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 My main reason for posting was that I was curious how other people (especially religious people) would view the "THE CUTEST boys in all of God's creation" comment. Like I said, it seems to me like it would be a little offensive to god, like she feels she has the right to judge some parts of his creation as being better than other parts of his creation. As to how religious she is, she goes to church every Sunday and prays before meals. I guess about the same as how I was raised until my parents dropped the religion thing when I was about 11. Given that Jesus used lots of hyperbole, I doubt if God is offended by particular phrasing that means that she thinks her grandkids are cute. If you are not religious, I'm curious as to why there is concern for offending God. It seems like there must be something else below the surface with this. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Nope, not upset about her not mentioning the belts. I mentioned it just to make clear that those two sentences were her entire reply. Although it would have been thoughtful if she'd said something about the belts. Even if you're clueless about martial arts it doesn't seem like it'd be rocket science to say "congratulations" or something. My oldest has been doing martial arts for almost 2 years. She knows that, and this is not the first belt test. But w/e. My main reason for posting was that I was curious how other people (especially religious people) would view the "THE CUTEST boys in all of God's creation" comment. Like I said, it seems to me like it would be a little offensive to god, like she feels she has the right to judge some parts of his creation as being better than other parts of his creation. As to how religious she is, she goes to church every Sunday and prays before meals. I guess about the same as how I was raised until my parents dropped the religion thing when I was about 11. And yes, I'm literal. To a fault. yeah, you'd "think" the concept of saying congratulations would be plain and simple, but it's not. for some people basic courtesies *are* a foreign language with which they're unfamiliar. or rocket science when they don't get math . . . . I once had to give my mother "the talk" that when someone gives you a compliment - the *correct response*!!!!! is "thank you". she literally had to pause to process that entirely new - to her- concept. (which is a reflection upon her *mother's* parenting style. Midwest rural farm culture.) I had to learn that "foreign language" as an adult. I was absolutely uncomfortable when given even a very simple "you did good" (I'm not exaggerating when I say it could trigger an anxiety attack) - and the idea of saying congratulations to someone could make my brain shut down. (if it even occurred to me.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Not really, but I'd be rolling my eyes when nobody was looking. Same here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolatechip Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I think it was a nice thing to say. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I guess it's also making me feel odd, because I wouldn't say my kids are the cutest kids in the entire world... and they're my kids. So when someone else says they're the cutest, it makes me feel like somehow I'm not thinking they're cute enough. I think my kids are cute, but I wouldn't make some objective statement about them being the cutest. Maybe the cutest to me... I do say things like "You're my favorite (name) and you're my favorite (other name)". I say my baby is the cutest baby in the world all the time. I know it might not be objective truth but I'm her mom, I'm not required to be objective. You did ask, so I'll just say that it sounds like you need to relax. Such a thing isn't worth a second thought. ETA: The judging God's creation and which is the best part seems to be reading WAY too much into one hyperbolic compliment. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 It wouldn't bother me. I wouldn't have said it, but it wouldn't bother me, either. Qualifier: I'm not religious, but I do tend to hyperbole. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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