A brief rant about the Helicopter society (not JAWM)

[Ravin]

it really boggles my mind that my 11 year old, who could wilh little difficulty get to the airport from our house unassisted (via a bus and a train), and who routinely uses public transit to get to school, and knows how to walk into a store and make a purchase, cannot, even for an extra fee, be allowed to change planes in an airport, within a high security safety zone surrounded with cameras, guarded doors, signs and airline employees every 15 feet capable of directing her if she needs help finding her gate.

 

All the airlines that fly into the airport near where my mother lives allow children under 14 to fly unaccompanied only on direct flights (or one, only on flights which change planes within the airline--not including its own subsidiary partners that fly into smaller airports). And none of those airlines has direct flights from our airport into the airport near my mother.

 

It's not that the service for unaccompanied minors to change planes is prohibitively expensive (it's a $50 surcharge for direct flights, $150 for the one airline that will allow plane changes)--it simply doesn't exist any more for flights from Phoenix to Amarillo--or anywhere to Amarillo that isn't one of the few major hubs with direct flights there.

 

It's not as though she could get lost. If all else fails, the child has a cell phone and could call me while in the airport.

 

I'm really at a loss as to how we're going to get her out to Grandma's this summer for her promised visit. I'm not keen on my mom having to make the trip all the way here and back alone (as the only adult/driver and I will be (hopefully) working and (certainly) studying for the bar exam. The plan is for me to go out and visit and fetch her back later in the summer (after the bar exam!).

 

 

 

 

 

[Catwoman]

I'm sorry it is such an inconvenience for you, but I also sympathize with the airlines. Not all children are as capable or independent as yours, and they really aren't equipped to be traveling alone when a change of planes is necessary.

 

I hope you're able to find a way to work things out.

[Joker]

I think this has more to do with liability than helicopter parents. If something were to happen, the media and public would pick them apart.

[EmilyGF]

Cat hit it on the head. Sigh. How about a bus to a connecting airport? (Half-joking.)

[SKL]

I've never dealt with unaccompanied minor rules, so I don't know - but could you just plan each leg of the journey separately?  So her destination on one leg = her starting point on the next leg?  Or would someone have to physically sign her in and out?  Could you get a travel agent or someone to meet her and just walk her from one gate to another?

[rebbyribs]

Could she fly direct to Albuquerque and your mom pick her up there? I know it's still quite a drive,

[Ravin]

An unaccompanied minor has to be met at the other end by a specified adult.

 

And while I realize that not all 11 year olds are as capable as mine, I'd hazard that the average 11 year old (and certainly the average 13 year old) could manage to change planes. They could put a tracker on them in the airport (like Disneyland uses) for an intermediary level of supervision/access to assistance. Such trackers would be handy for people traveling with other special needs as well. Need a scooter or wheelchair to get through the airport? Have it programmed into your wristband so you can access one. Kid tries to leave the security area in the wrong airport, enter the wrong bathroom, or board the wrong plane? Alarm on the wrist band goes off. Kid fails to check in at gate? Simply locate the child within the airport via the wristband. 

 

Or, you know, spring for a couple of people to work for ten bucks an hour ferrying kids from one gate to another. Why this has to be impossible because it involves handoff between airlines (owned by same company in some cases) just boggles my mind.

 

Most importantly, it should be the parents judging when a child is ready to do X, not the airline (or the FAA, or whoever is responsible for these rules and standards).

 

It's not about helicopter parents, it's about the whole helicopter mentality that has bled into every paranoid liability setup in society. Yes, there need to be reasonable minimums, but I think it's healthier when those are set low. A good example would be public transit--you have to be 8 to ride unaccompanied in my city. Most people aren't going to take advantage of their 8 year old being able to ride the city bus alone--but it leaves the judgment call in the hands of parents where it belongs.

 

 

 

 

[Amira]

In addition to the liability, the airline is also assuming responsibility for an unaccompanied minor, not just to make sure they make the connection, but to solve any problems that come up. If she misses her connection they're on the hook to take care of her. I think of the UM fee as insurance in case something unusual happening, not to deal with the usual.

[eternalsummer]

I flew alone starting at 7 (20 years ago) and changed planes - they did indeed have someone, probably paid $10/hr, ferry me from one gate to another.

[Ravin]

On Southwest, which without these crazy rules would be the best deal, the age cutoff for unaccompanied minors is 11 years old. A 12 year old can travel like an adult. A 12 year old can escort a child 5 to 11 as well. This is pretty much the most rational of the airline rules. Age cutoffs differ from one airline to another, and whether there's 'unaccompanied minor' service to change planes or what, etc.

 

So next summer, DD will be able to fly--and I can probably send her brother with her, if I think she's up to it.

 

Every airline has different rules. I found a services called 'Fly My Kid' that finds the best deal that fits the need to navigate these rules in addition to just trying to find a good flight. They couldn't find anything for us, either.

 

It's just a huge bother for us this summer.

 

[Catwoman]

Most importantly, it should be the parents judging when a child is ready to do X, not the airline (or the FAA, or whoever is responsible for these rules and standards).

 

It's not about helicopter parents, it's about the whole helicopter mentality that has bled into every paranoid liability setup in society. Yes, there need to be reasonable minimums, but I think it's healthier when those are set low. A good example would be public transit--you have to be 8 to ride unaccompanied in my city. Most people aren't going to take advantage of their 8 year old being able to ride the city bus alone--but it leaves the judgment call in the hands of parents where it belongs.

I disagree that parents should be able to decide when the airlines should be obligated to allow their children to change planes unsupervised. I know at least a few moms who would tell you that their 5yos could handle it with no problem whatsoever, and I don't think the airlines should have to deal with unsupervised children who aren't ready for that level of independence despite their parents' claims to the contrary.

 

I don't think any of this has anything to do with a "helicopter mentality." I think it has to do with setting rules which will ensure the safety and comfort of the vast majority of children who are flying unaccompanied by an adult. I know you think the age limits are unreasonable, but I have to side with the airlines on this one. I don't think most 11yos -- and certainly not 8yos -- should be unattended in the airport, and most definitely not when a change of planes is required. There are too many things that could go wrong, like long delays or even a canceled flight, and a child would not know what to do in those instances, and airline personnel should not have to be responsible for a kid who ends up stuck in the airport after a flight is delayed or canceled.

[Daria]

On Southwest, which without these crazy rules would be the best deal, the age cutoff for unaccompanied minors is 11 years old. A 12 year old can travel like an adult. A 12 year old can escort a child 5 to 11 as well. This is pretty much the most rational of the airline rules. Age cutoffs differ from one airline to another, and whether there's 'unaccompanied minor' service to change planes or what, etc.

 

So next summer, DD will be able to fly--and I can probably send her brother with her, if I think she's up to it.

 

Every airline has different rules. I found a services called 'Fly My Kid' that finds the best deal that fits the need to navigate these rules in addition to just trying to find a good flight. They couldn't find anything for us, either.

 

It's just a huge bother for us this summer.

 

But on the other hand, SW doesn't allow you to fly unaccompanied after 11.  Some kids are ready at 12, but some aren't, and it would be nice for the airlines to give you a choice for kids within a certain age range.

[Ravin]

But on the other hand, SW doesn't allow you to fly unaccompanied after 11.  Some kids are ready at 12, but some aren't, and it would be nice for the airlines to give you a choice for kids within a certain age range.

 

From the wording on their website, I'd assume the service is optional once a child is 12 rather than mandatory, though they don't go so far as to say so. If I thought it necessary for my child I'd call to clarify.

 

I'm too busy boggling over how my kid would be required to have this extra service and limitation on Oct 1, but on the return flight a week later wouldn't.

 

Yes, I suppose they have to have some kind of cutoff, and there are arbitrary age cutoffs for all sorts of things for kids, I'm just annoyed that it cuts us off this summer!

[kroe1]

My kiddos have always flown alone. For the most part, we have used Delta which has kid hubs in all the major airports. These are big rooms where kids can hang out while waiting for connecting flights. DD loves Atlanta where she can play video games, read, or watch movies.

 

Your next option is to hire a driver which we have done also. At least if you could find someone going part of the way, your mom would not have to drive as far.

 

By the way, I am a helicopter parent. But, even we will occasionally let our kids out of sight.

[Catwoman]

From the wording on their website, I'd assume the service is optional once a child is 12 rather than mandatory, though they don't go so far as to say so. If I thought it necessary for my child I'd call to clarify.

 

I'm too busy boggling over how my kid would be required to have this extra service and limitation on Oct 1, but on the return flight a week later wouldn't.

 

Yes, I suppose they have to have some kind of cutoff, and there are arbitrary age cutoffs for all sorts of things for kids, I'm just annoyed that it cuts us off this summer!

Would they be willing to make an exception because your dd will be so close to the required age? I know the standard line is probably that they won't, but maybe a sympathetic supervisor might be able to make an exception for you? (It's probably a long shot, but it might be worth a try.)

[SKL]

There are too many things that could go wrong, like long delays or even a canceled flight, and a child would not know what to do in those instances, and airline personnel should not have to be responsible for a kid who ends up stuck in the airport after a flight is delayed or canceled.

 

What is the point of the service, for a middle-school kid, if the airline won't deal with anything slightly complicated?

[kiwik]

Could you hire someone from a nanny agency in the plane change city to meet her off the first plane and see she gets on the next one?

[Laura Corin]

As someone who took two public buses across a major city to get to and from school each day (in the dark in winter) from the age of 11,  I'm really sorry that they are taking this attitude.

[duckens]

When I was 18, I flew independently for the first time.

At age 18, I needed help to get to my next gate.  I had never had to read concourse, gate, or seat information before.  (My one and only prior flight was when I was with the family when I was 9).  Thank goodness for the nice lady who sat next to me on my first flight!
 

I spent the second leg of my journey being sexually harassed by a steadily-getting-drunker doctor.  I was young, and these were the days before Anita Hill  I didn't know that I had a choice. 

This may be one reason  why the airlines don't want minors flying independently.

 

It would be expensive, but one of you could fly with her for the first leg of the flight.  Or if its cheaper, grandma could fly to meet her at the airport for the second half of the flight.  It's not a great solution, but it is a solution.  :(

[MEmama]

My 12 yo is flying to Grandma's by himself for the first time. We had to pay $100 EACH way for him to fly unassisted. He's excited for the trip but deeply disappointed that he won't have any real independence--we'll walk him to the gate, he has to board first (boring!), and Grandma will be at the end point. Zero independence, other than entertaining himself on the flight.

 

I can commiserate with your irritation. This kid has directed us through countless airports, subway stations and cities his entire life. Even the NYC subway system was easy peasy for him at 4. There's no way anything weird or concerning is going to happen to him in an airport, and having the opportunity to navigate it on his own would be great, but we can't make it happen from here.

 

I do understand that they have to be careful, but I'm of the mindset that if something big and unusual happens--a storm delay for example, which isn't unlikely--that airline employees and --gasp! Other travelers!-- would be willing to help. They help other adults navigate unforeseen situations, it wouldnt be different. Actually it would probably be easier because they do have rooms where they can keep unattended kids busy and occupied together. Our culture is very afraid of Adventure, sadly.

[City Mouse]

I would not be comfortable with my now 12DS changing planes by himself. He has been on a few flights as a family, but not very many. Mostly drive because of the cost of air fares. I do think it would be diffrerent situation with a child that was a seasoned traveler.

Can she get to To the Lubbock airport and have grandma pick her up there?

[Seasider]

I believe it's less about helicoptering in our society and more about its litigatiousness.

[SamanthaCarter]

Just yesterday my DH and I were discussing whether it would be okay to let our 6 year old ride her bike around our block unaccompanied. Not because we didn't think she would be safe and not because we didn't think she would stay within parameters, but because of whether people might call SS on us. We live in a quiet, walkable neighborhood, but I have had people get out of their cars and bring my children back home because they were playing on the sidewalk one house up, near the intersection of the side street that ends at our street. Also I've had someone yell from their car because I was letting my middle child play in the water at the edge of our street after a rainstorm. It's so bad. You are not allowed to make your own judgment call as a parent anymore. And I see my kids becoming afraid to try stuff, because their mother has been afraid to let them (for fear of other people's opinions on appropriate safety precautions). 

[Serenade]

Just yesterday my DH and I were discussing whether it would be okay to let our 6 year old ride her bike around our block unaccompanied. Not because we didn't think she would be safe and not because we didn't think she would stay within parameters, but because of whether people might call SS on us. We live in a quiet, walkable neighborhood, but I have had people get out of their cars and bring my children back home because they were playing on the sidewalk one house up, near the intersection of the side street that ends at our street. Also I've had someone yell from their car because I was letting my middle child play in the water at the edge of our street after a rainstorm. It's so bad. You are not allowed to make your own judgment call as a parent anymore. And I see my kids becoming afraid to try stuff, because their mother had been afraid to let them (for fear of other people's opinions on appropriate safety precautions). 

 

 

Yes, especially the bolded.   That is me and my life.

 

Now that my kids are old enough to do most things unaccompanied, they are often fearful, especially my older son.   He is always worried that somebody is going to stop him and ask him questions as to why he is out without a parent.   

 

I still won't let my kids ride their bikes outside until after schools let out because I worry that someone will report them for truancy. 

 

It's not so easy to just have the truth on your side, but if someone reports you and social services comes, it is often not an easy mess to get out of, even if you've done nothing wrong. 

[justasque]

I flew alone internationally at 15.  The plane had one stop to add more passengers, where we were delayed on the runway, then ushered off the plane at around 2am and taken to a sketchy almost-abandoned hotel, in a sketchy neighborhood.  (VERY sketchy.)  We had no access to our luggage; we had only the things we had taken aboard the plane.  We were told to show up in the lobby at 6am to be ferried back to the airport, though no one seemed to have a passenger list to be sure everyone got back, and this was not the kind of hotel that provided alarm clocks and TV's and such.  There was no one keeping an eye out for teens flying alone, making sure they were where they needed to be and didn't wander off or venture into potentially dangerous areas of the hotel or the neighborhood.  After we were given our rooms, there was no one at the hotel who could have been consulted in case of a problem.  While it was definitely an Adventure, it was not one that would have been easily and safely navigated by a younger child, however savvy they were for their age.  Airports for the most part can be safely navigated by a reasonably experienced child; not so overnight stays alone in sketchy hotels in run-down neighborhoods.

I think the requirement that a younger child fly as an UM is sensible, for both the airline and the child, but I also think the airlines should have the UM service available for every flight they offer.  OP, I'm sorry this is proving difficult.  On the whole, I think travel, and Adventure, is a wonderful thing for kids.

[Ravin]

I would not be comfortable with my now 12DS changing planes by himself. He has been on a few flights as a family, but not very many. Mostly drive because of the cost of air fares. I do think it would be diffrerent situation with a child that was a seasoned traveler.

Can she get to To the Lubbock airport and have grandma pick her up there?

No direct flights from here to there, either.

[Artichoke]

Could your daughter fly into one of the main hubs that does have a direct flight, then fly into Amarillo? It would be more complicated and expensive, but it might be a solution.

[MEmama]

I flew alone internationally at 15. The plane had one stop to add more passengers, where we were delayed on the runway, then ushered off the plane at around 2am and taken to a sketchy almost-abandoned hotel, in a sketchy neighborhood. (VERY sketchy.) We had no access to our luggage; we had only the things we had taken aboard the plane. We were told to show up in the lobby at 6am to be ferried back to the airport, though no one seemed to have a passenger list to be sure everyone got back, and this was not the kind of hotel that provided alarm clocks and TV's and such. There was no one keeping an eye out for teens flying alone, making sure they were where they needed to be and didn't wander off or venture into potentially dangerous areas of the hotel or the neighborhood. After we were given our rooms, there was no one at the hotel who could have been consulted in case of a problem. While it was definitely an Adventure, it was not one that would have been easily and safely navigated by a younger child, however savvy they were for their age. Airports for the most part can be safely navigated by a reasonably experienced child; not so overnight stays alone in sketchy hotels in run-down neighborhoods.

 

I think the requirement that a younger child fly as an UM is sensible, for both the airline and the child, but I also think the airlines should have the UM service available for every flight they offer. OP, I'm sorry this is proving difficult. On the whole, I think travel, and Adventure, is a wonderful thing for kids.

Ok, that's *a lot* for a 15 yo to navigate for sure. But these aren't kids flying internationally, and US airlines do have provisions in place for kids travelling alone should the unforeseen occur. And I think this goes back to the mindset that relying on the kindness and good will of others--especially in times of need--is a human component that litigators are trying to take out of the equation. I've never been anywhere in US/Canada/most other countries (here's NOT looking at you, Italy) where I wouldn't feel like a stranger would step in with assistance if needed. And I do trust in other people enough to be confident that they would help my son traveling alone, too.

[Ravin]

I flew alone internationally at 15. The plane had one stop to add more passengers, where we were delayed on the runway, then ushered off the plane at around 2am and taken to a sketchy almost-abandoned hotel, in a sketchy neighborhood. (VERY sketchy.) We had no access to our luggage; we had only the things we had taken aboard the plane. We were told to show up in the lobby at 6am to be ferried back to the airport, though no one seemed to have a passenger list to be sure everyone got back, and this was not the kind of hotel that provided alarm clocks and TV's and such. There was no one keeping an eye out for teens flying alone, making sure they were where they needed to be and didn't wander off or venture into potentially dangerous areas of the hotel or the neighborhood. After we were given our rooms, there was no one at the hotel who could have been consulted in case of a problem. While it was definitely an Adventure, it was not one that would have been easily and safely navigated by a younger child, however savvy they were for their age. Airports for the most part can be safely navigated by a reasonably experienced child; not so overnight stays alone in sketchy hotels in run-down neighborhoods.

 

I think the requirement that a younger child fly as an UM is sensible, for both the airline and the child, but I also think the airlines should have the UM service available for every flight they offer. OP, I'm sorry this is proving difficult. On the whole, I think travel, and Adventure, is a wonderful thing for kids.

She's flying to Amarillo, not Mumbai. Connection would be in LA, Dallas, or Denver, and I'd factor in which airport would be easier to navigate. Weather delays and diversions are unlikely in summer, and if they happened she has a cell phone.

 

Really, I'd not be concerned about fellow passengers. She rides public transit. And if some guy sat next to her and acted skeevy she'd scream or ask to move depending on her level of discomfort.

[Catwoman]

My 12 yo is flying to Grandma's by himself for the first time. We had to pay $100 EACH way for him to fly unassisted.

We travel a lot, and it cost me $125.00 each way for a plane ticket for my cat, and he always stayed with me the entire time in First Class in his carrier under the seat in front of me. (Leaving him at home with our house sitter or at the vet was never an option due to his health problems.)

 

The airlines are very creative when it comes to finding ways to charge more money. :glare:

[Ottakee]

She's flying to Amarillo, not Mumbai. Connection would be in LA, Dallas, or Denver, and I'd factor in which airport would be easier to navigate. Weather delays and diversions are unlikely in summer, and if they happened she has a cell phone.

 

Really, I'd not be concerned about fellow passengers. She rides public transit. And if some guy sat next to her and acted skeevy she'd scream or ask to move depending on her level of discomfort.

Could Grandma meet her in Albuquerque?  We are heading to Amarillo in Oct but flying into ABQ as it was just so much cheaper and much more direct flights.

[Daria]

From the wording on their website, I'd assume the service is optional once a child is 12 rather than mandatory, though they don't go so far as to say so. If I thought it necessary for my child I'd call to clarify.

 

I'm too busy boggling over how my kid would be required to have this extra service and limitation on Oct 1, but on the return flight a week later wouldn't.

 

Yes, I suppose they have to have some kind of cutoff, and there are arbitrary age cutoffs for all sorts of things for kids, I'm just annoyed that it cuts us off this summer!

 

That was not our experience.  I flew my 13 year old goddaughter to visit me.   She had not been on a plane in a long time, and had significant learning disabilities that made things like reading the arrival/departure boards a challenge.  Because of that her mother preferred that she fly unaccompanied minor, but SW would not allow it due to her age.

 

Her mom and I were able to get a gate passes, but not the UM status.

 

This was a few years ago, but the language on the SW website looks the same. 

[Lisbeth]

I agree with the airline on this one. I'm sorry it is causing you extra grief, though!

[catz]

I get that it stinks, but I also see why airlines do it.  Even without weather issues, flights can get cancelled or delayed overnight.  It's happened to my DH a couple times for business travel in the last couple years and not for obvious weather issues.  Then he has had to get a hotel room.  I can see why an airlines can and will not take responsibility for a minor for a lengthy delay or overnight. 

 

Anyway - sorry, I hope you can find a good alternative! 

[Tammyla]

I think it's just a liability issue not a helicopter society.

[Trilliums]

Sorry this is causing problems for you.

 

I think airlines in general have cut down on offering unaccompanied minor flights.  We had to use this service recently and our options were very limited due to the no transfer policy.  Maybe it is partially a staffing issue, although I am sure liability plays a big role. 

 

Overall though, I wouldn't expect an airline to let an 11 yo fly without some kind of assistance.  This does not surprise me at all.

 

ETA:
Maybe the issue of flight delays or cancellations factors in as well.  What would an 11 yo do if their connection was cancelled? 

[Tsuga]

I agree that this is a question of liability. Airlines deal with thousands upon thousands of people each day. If they allow children under X years, they have to allow them all or they are going to get some VERY irritated customers. They simply can not speak to a family individually and say, "Hi, we've decided your kid is the one in one hundred that is not able to do this, and you are THAT FAMILY which overestimated your child's ability." That would happen every day even if 99% of kids could fly alone. And it would be a nightmare for the airline.

 

The real issue here is not helicopter parents but the people in our society who neither take responsibility for their actions nor their kids' actions, and who have the money to pay for lawyers to sue the hell out of whomever doesn't meet their expectations.

 

Still, I am sorry you are facing this inconvenience.

[Dmmetler]

My DD's summer program has instructions on what to do if your DC will be flying unaccompanied, and now I'm wondering if any of the kids would be able to do so? Like Amarillo, the program's in a spoke, not a hub, so unless you're flying from a major city close enough to have direct flights for that spoke, you wouldn't be able to do the plane change, since they're mostly served by subsidiary carriers! (Not a concern for DD-DH and I have decided to drop her off and go on vacation ourselves-why should kids have all the fun??)

 

 

 

 

[Murphy101]

I ride the fine line between being ever hopeful someone would step up to do the helpful kind right thing and knowing for a fact that many times people just keep walking.

 

The knee jerk reaction of most people these days is not "oh I need to help that person out" but rather "someone should call social services to deal with this" or to just ignore it. It's rare someone ever bothers to help their fellow neighbor themselves. There's "places" to call if someone needs help and it's just rude to expect it of others seems to be far too common.

 

So I agree with you, but also think businesses are wise to err on the side of being pragmatist.

[SparklyUnicorn]

When I was 18, I flew independently for the first time.

 

At age 18, I needed help to get to my next gate.  I had never had to read concourse, gate, or seat information before.  (My one and only prior flight was when I was with the family when I was 9).  Thank goodness for the nice lady who sat next to me on my first flight!

 

I spent the second leg of my journey being sexually harassed by a steadily-getting-drunker doctor.  I was young, and these were the days before Anita Hill  I didn't know that I had a choice. 

 

This may be one reason  why the airlines don't want minors flying independently.

 

It would be expensive, but one of you could fly with her for the first leg of the flight.  Or if its cheaper, grandma could fly to meet her at the airport for the second half of the flight.  It's not a great solution, but it is a solution.  :(

 

Ugh yeah.  My first flight I think I was 23.  It was kinda scary.  I had to ask for help a couple of times because I didn't know where I was going.  And I had every detail planned out ahead, but stuff gets changed around quite often.  So then you need to figure out where to go. 

 

Probably at 11 I would not have been nervous.  I was invincible when I was 11.

 

But I definitely get the frustration on the other end too. 

[marbel]

I ride the fine line between being ever hopeful someone would step up to do the helpful kind right thing and knowing for a fact that many times people just keep walking.

 

The knee jerk reaction of most people these days is not "oh I need to help that person out" but rather "someone should call social services to deal with this" or to just ignore it. It's rare someone ever bothers to help their fellow neighbor themselves. There's "places" to call if someone needs help and it's just rude to expect it of others seems to be far too common.

 

So I agree with you, but also think businesses are wise to err on the side of being pragmatist.

 

I think more and more, people are afraid to approach a child they don't know, even if the child appears lost or in distress. Particularly adult males.

[OhanaBee]

That was not our experience.  I flew my 13 year old goddaughter to visit me.   She had not been on a plane in a long time, and had significant learning disabilities that made things like reading the arrival/departure boards a challenge.  Because of that her mother preferred that she fly unaccompanied minor, but SW would not allow it due to her age.

 

Her mom and I were able to get a gate passes, but not the UM status.

 

This was a few years ago, but the language on the SW website looks the same. 

 

It is the same.  My youngest flies SW from the east coast to the west every year and once she hit 12, she was on her own.  She had a horrible experience with a plane change in Atlanta which has made her nervous about changing planes at all [try and find someone to help you in the Atlanta airport - I dare you!].  So our options have been to: #1 tell her to suck it up and #2 attempt to find her flights that have few plane changes.  SW does still let parents walk their child to the gate.  Stitchgirl flies from coast to coast in a few weeks, so we'll see if she still wants me to do that for her.

 

My oldest was an independent flier from age 7.......my youngest, not so much.  Each child is different.....though I do understand that the airlines have way too many people flying to be able to tailor the experience for each underage passenger.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I think more and more, people are afraid to approach a child they don't know, even if the child appears lost or in distress. Particularly adult males.

 

I'm afraid.  A kid at the park once asked me for a ride home.  I felt bad to say no, but it just didn't seem like a good idea.  Of course if he were injured or obviously in some sort of dire need, I'd help him.  So not that I go around ignoring people.  It's just ya never know.

 

Ok and frankly sometimes I'm just afraid of kids.  I'm not particularly big and even young kids can tower over me.

[marbel]

I'm afraid.  A kid at the park once asked me for a ride home.  I felt bad to say no, but it just didn't seem like a good idea.  Of course if he were injured or obviously in some sort of dire need, I'd help him.  So not that I go around ignoring people.  It's just ya never know.

 

Ok and frankly sometimes I'm just afraid of kids.  I'm not particularly big and even young kids can tower over me.

 

I remember you talking about that here.  I remember thinking you did the right thing  I would never take a kid I didn't know in my car.   I would probably try to help a kid in an airport, but I wouldn't touch the child and would just take him or her to security or even the nearest service desk. 

[Catwoman]

I remember you talking about that here. I remember thinking you did the right thing I would never take a kid I didn't know in my car. I would probably try to help a kid in an airport, but I wouldn't touch the child and would just take him or her to security or even the nearest service desk.

I remember that, too, and I agree that Sparkly did the right thing.

[MEmama]

I would probably try to help a kid in an airport, but I wouldn't touch the child and would just take him or her to security or even the nearest service desk.

But see, that's all a person would need to do-- help a kid get help from an appropriate person. Just like you'd help someone get medical aid if they fell off an escalator, or you'd help an elderly person who was confused or unsure what to do. It's just not different. I get that not all young kids should travel by themselves, but there are plentry of adults who are pretty clueless and they are allowed to. How do we raise capable adults if we don't allow them tools when they are ready for them?

[Katy]

I used to be that kid, and I think paying the fee is worth it.  I can't tell you how many times I got stranded in Chicago or Charlotte or Nashville and the only thing that helped was being an unaccompanied minor.  They would bump people off flights to get me on the first availible. If the closest airport isn't much of an option, perhaps Grandma could drive a couple hours and pick her up at a bigger airport?

[idnib]

.

[maize]

I don't think Ravin is saying he doesn't want to pay a fee, but that unaccompanied minor service is not available and unaccompanied minors are not permitted for the itinerary needed.

 

I wonder if there is a way to re-route through another airport--friends or family your dd could visit in, say, Los Angeles? Any place with a direct flight to Amarillo even if it is seemingly out of the line of travel?

[MinivanMom]

I flew cross-country at 13 with 3 younger siblings (including a toddler). There were no cell phones back then, though I think my mom gave me a twenty and phone number where I could reach her. We had to change planes at Dallas-Ft.Worth, and I nearly missed the connecting flight after our first leg arrived late. I remember haggling with the stewardess at check-in, because she wanted to gate-check my stroller instead of letting me put it in the overhead compartment. I was a very small, young-looking 13 and nobody batted an eye. Domestic flying isn't complicated or fraught with danger. In fact, think I felt much safer flying as a preteen than I did riding the bus or other public transit. There were always skeevy guys on the bus, and there's no flight attendant swooping around keeping an eye on things so you have to be assertive. Any kid who can handle the bus can handle a flight.

 

I agree with previous posters that the changes are more about liability than helicoptering. I think the possibility of bad publicity is a factor as well, and I sympathize with the airlines on that one. All it takes is one viral story for an airline to be deemed unsafe for children. Hopefully you can work out a solution for the flight.