People who won't join Facebook are worse than people who write checks at the grocery store

[poppy]

Join Facebook! Use a fake name. Just make something up!!! I don't care. Facebook is how groups communicate now. There is not a simpler discussion system that I'm aware of for a group of random people (not coworkers) doing a project or having an ongoing conversation.

 

I have so many groups that *can't* have online discussions in simplest, most easily accessible way because 1-2 people aren't on Facebook. My Girl Scout parents, the local parenting group planning committee, and my church talent show committee are the three that annoy me right now.  For girl scouts I had to create a website with a discussion forum because one lady isn't on Facebook.  The other two are email only, and everyone hates email only.  Things get lots, there's no separation of topics, some people rarely log in, etc etc.   It is super annoying.

 

The check comment was really just an expression of frustration, I get that people who write checks often don't have credit to get a card, or are using a system that works for them - I really don't mind - unless I am running super late, then I get petty.  The FB thing, similarly, doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.  But people.  Closed Facebook groups are so useful.  You don't have to get into the whole Facebook "thing" to be a Facebook participant.  Pseudonym!

[Seasider]

Humph. I would like to quit fb. However, I am stuck there because it's the group messaging system of choice for an organization my dd participates in. And it's not even utilized efficiently there, as people merely ignore posts of questions they don't want to answer.

[SparklyUnicorn]

LOL

 

I held out for a long time, but yeah I discovered I was missing a lot of information and announcements for local homeschooling events and activities.

 

You don't need credit to get a card.  You can use either a fillable card or a debit card that is only attached to one's checking account.  So that's not an excuse either.  Although I don't care if people choose to do that or not. 

[sassenach]

I agree. Our HS group runs on a private FB page. We have a few people who want to be emailed on the side. I won't do it. One of the ladies is the mom of ds's best pal. They miss events all the time.

 

I have a dummy account. It's not hard.

[elegantlion]

I had a class last semester that required use of facebook. I know at least one person joined just for that using a fake name, unless their last name really is COMclass. 

 

My mom still writes checks - but she's 78 so she gets a pass. My dad still pays bills in person - except now that he's been ill my mom is getting upset that we have to drive all over to pay the bills - just mail the check! (she doesn't drive). 

 

heck, my mom is on facebook too and she will accidentally randomly friend my friends because she has arthritis and doesn't hit the right button on her phone. It's cute - really, I love my mom. 

 

My son hates facebook and refuses to get on it. Thankfully, it's not an issue right now, but at some point he'll have the same issue you do, groups with get togethers. 

 

[Katy]

lol.  Make the page public and give them the link to the whole web page.  Or make a yahoo group.

 

Facebook makes money from selling your information.  I think about quitting all the time.  Basically every other afternoon when they ask me which college I went to or what my hometown is.

[Janie Grace]

I agree. I know it's not a popular sentiment, but I think not joining FB is antisocial. People who aren't on it don't realize the statement they are making.

[Momof3littles]

Dh and I aren't on facebook.  I have no interest at all. 

 

My parents write checks anytime they can vs. using a credit or debit card.  That's just their default. They are  worried about fraud, etc and feel better about writing a check.  I'm not saying it is rational, but that's what they do.  They have very few monthly bills by choice, as they travel a good bit, and they prefer not having to deal with a monthly CC bill coming due.  They literally just pay for electric and phone monthly.  We have their cell on our plan (they pay us back in cash or by check LOL, but they don't have to deal with it coming due while they travel).  They don't have water or sewer bills, and pay annually for a lot of things like car and health insurance.  They don't have cable or internet.  They like having it all streamlined and easy.

[milovany]

While I agree that FB can be used easily even if one doesn't want to do the while FB thing, you do have to be careful with fake names.  I had my whole FB account deleted when I used a fake name.  Lost everything in one fell swoop -- no warning -- and couldn't get it back.  You probably have to use something that sounds real, and should encourage people to do that if you encourage them to open an account.  "Ihate Facebook" as a name probably wouldn't last long (well, for more reason than one!).

[Valley Girl]

I glad you find Facebook useful, and I truly can appreciate how convenient it is for communicating in groups. I, however, have no desire to be part of it in any way for many reasons even under a fake name. I think the "some do, some don't" issue is just what happens whenever there is a significant change in how people communicate. I imagine it was the same way when the telephone was introduced. I any case, I'm sorry the situation is causing you extra work when you're busy trying to get things done. That's never fun.

[Laura Corin]

FWIW, it's against the rules that you agree to when you join Facebook to use a false name by which people don't normally know you.

[Valley Girl]

Messed up the quoting thing. AGAIN.
 

[Valley Girl]

I agree. I know it's not a popular sentiment, but I think not joining FB is antisocial. People who aren't on it don't realize the statement they are making.

 

I'm making the statement that I value my privacy and wish to retain control of that and my online presence. I don't want to be a "product." If that makes me antisocial, so be it.

[Word Nerd]

I hear you. In the group I lead, we have people who don't use Facebook and won't read emails either. Several said they prefer texts, so I set up a Remind account, which is a way to send group texts and that users have to opt in to receive. One family signed up for it. I finally told the group it's their responsibility to make sure they stay informed. We share the information in several different formats they can choose from, but I'm not going to cater to everyone's individual communication preferences, and I sure as heck am not going to call everyone.

[goldberry]

My homeschool group uses yahoo email loop, and we still have problems getting people to even read email. I work for a volunteer fire department and the primary communication is email.  There are still people who don't even have an email account.   I don't have to follow any groups on facebook, but I have an account just to look at friend's photos when they send me links. I don't have any private information there other than my name.  I am unhappy about having to have an account when I have no desire to do so, but recognize that it is necessary for certain situations.

 

I kind of view it like people who used to refuse to have email, when it is customary these days for people to use email to spread certain information.  You might think it is making a statement, but the real statement is that you are refusing to adapt to changing times and methods.  There are ways to do so without compromising your privacy.

 

ETA, I did not join facebook until it seemed to be necessary for my communication.  If I did not belong to any groups that used it, or have friends whose photos I wanted to see, I would not have joined.  But if you do belong to a group that uses it, it is not reasonable to think your special preferences should be accommodated.

[Happy]

I'm old enough to remember when my grandparents got a telephone. My mother insisted they get that new fangled device in the middle to late 60s because it made it so much easier for people to get in touch with them, specifically, my mom.

 

Back when we were helping with the high school level baseball team with a homeschool group--there were a few people who didn't do email.  There choice was because of privacy concerns or something like that--not an income thing. We had to call them--have the phone answered by a small child or get an answering machine that no one ever seemed check--that family refusing to do email was a hardship for all the organizers. I'm not sure they understood that point--if they did, they didn't care.

 

There's not a good solution, but I agree with you. Get on Facebook, people--it's an easy way to communicate.

[milovany]

I glad you find Facebook useful, and I truly can appreciate how convenient it is for communicating in groups. I, however, have no desire to be part of it in any way for many reasons even under a fake name. I think the "some do, some don't" issue is just what happens whenever there is a significant change in how people communicate. I imagine it was the same way when the telephone was introduced. I any case, I'm sorry the situation is causing you extra work when you're busy trying to get things done. That's never fun.

 

I don't think it's the job of the coordinator or whoever to do the extra work for everyone else though just because they've made a personal decision not to use FB. The organizers don't necessarily need to email or phone people on the side, IMO. Join Facebook if that's how your group functions, find some other way to get the information (they can call or email someone else in the group), or miss out. 

 

I say this even though I don't always function this way 100% of the time.  In our parish, email is the way our priest and I communicate with people and yet I know some people don't even have email (or don't check it often).  I try to remember to tell them about things when I think of it, although I don't always/often remember to do so. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I agree. I know it's not a popular sentiment, but I think not joining FB is antisocial. People who aren't on it don't realize the statement they are making.

 

Oh brother.  I think that's a bit much.  I only join for info for local activities.  Otherwise, I certainly could live without it.  It has nothing to do with me being antisocial or wanting to make some sort of a statement.  Facebook snoops through your posts to feed you advertisements.  When I go and look at an item on Amazon, guess what shows up on my feed?  The item I was looking at.  What else are they snooping through? 

[kewb]

Since the youth don't really use facebook anymore the swim team moved to group me https://groupme.com/to share information. It is a group texting thing.

[indigomama]

We live far away from all family and from lots of friends. I love Facebook! It's such an easy convenient way for me to stay in touch with people. I only "like" people I really like and I am very liberal with the "unfriend" option.

 

I rarely get asked by facebook to fill in additional information and when I do, it's easier to opt out of answering.

 

I have also plugged in to a variety of interest groups, that are really valuable because I currently live in such a small community. I too find it bothersome when others don't have an account, but want to be in the loop about various things.

 

As for the check thing, I use a debit card attached to my checking account, so I don't have a monthly CC bill, so I don't understand PP's parents saying they would have another bill to pay. Also, now the stores just hand back the check, which is extra stuff to keep track of or destroy, annoying.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yeah I don't miss check writing.  Some people still like it though.  That's not a big deal to me.

 

 

[Elisabet1]

Use a yahoo group or something. I cannot stand when places try to force FB. And it goes against their rules to use a fake name.

[redsquirrel]

I thought facebook didn't allow fake names?

 

And most of the people I know don't use facebook any more. Mostly I hear people saying they haven't looked at their page in weeks. None of my son's high school friends have facebook. They think it is an old person thing

 

I am not on it because I think it is creepy, but I am sorry you are having a difficult time.

[Hikin' Mama]

I agree. I know it's not a popular sentiment, but I think not joining FB is antisocial. People who aren't on it don't realize the statement they are making.

Seriously? I am on FB, but I know several people who choose not to be. They are definitely not antisocial! They have very full lives but don't have a need to FB about it. To each his/her own.

[Guest submarines]

I agree. I know it's not a popular sentiment, but I think not joining FB is antisocial. People who aren't on it don't realize the statement they are making.

 

I'm pretty sure that everyone who is not on FB have thought about it long and hard, and they do realize very well what statement they are making.

 

It is those who say "Just join, what the big deal, everyone's on FB" don't realize what statement *they* are making. Which is basically, "I sell out my rights for convenience, and I'm okay with it."

 

I'm on FB, btw. I struggle a lot with sacrificing the principles of privacy (not even my individual privacy, I don't care) for convenience. But since it has become impossible to communicate with people / activities / events unless you are on FB, that *will* be a huge inconvenience.

 

Those who say "I have nothing to incriminate me, so I don't care that my privacy is violated" don't get the point.

 

I'm a weakling. I should just quit.

[Guest]

I hear you. In the group I lead, we have people who don't use Facebook and won't read emails either. Several said they prefer texts, so I set up a Remind account, which is a way to send group texts and that users have to opt in to receive. One family signed up for it. I finally told the group it's their responsibility to make sure they stay informed. We share the information in several different formats they can choose from, but I'm not going to cater to everyone's individual communication preferences, and I sure as heck am not going to call everyone.

Years ago, I led a Cub Scout group. One woman didn't have email (she worked in an office??) so she wanted me to call her with information. I decided then that it wasn't the leaders job to make sure everyone had information. It is the job of the participants, who want to be there, to stay informed. I put the information out in an easily accessible form, my job is done.

[fairfarmhand]

Pfft... I'm not on Facebook AND I still write checks.

 

Guess I'm doomed.  (LOL)

 

(psst...) Me too.

 

I guess it's just my lot in life to irritate and annoy the rest of the world.

 

I'm a jerk.

 

I know.

 

(I do not expect people to cater to my preferences. I probably wouldn't join a group that only had a FB notification for communication. I feel that strongly about it. And I have my check fully filled out except for amounts before I get to the cash register. BTW, have you ever been behind someone whose debit card was messed up? That takes awhile too.)

[SKL]

Ha ha.  I was a holdout for a long time.  Like others above, I joined (under a fake name) in order to have access to a really helpful group, and to follow the lives of folks I don't see often (especially their growing kids).  At one point they locked me out because fake names were a no-no and someone reported me (so I changed it to another fake name), but now you are allowed to have fake names.  So, no excuses.

 

In my family, I have one brother and one sister who still aren't on.  (The brother's wife is on, so that might be enough for them.)  My younger sister, who would really like to know what's happening around here, isn't on.  She keeps saying she's going to join.  Like it's this big deal or something.  Now I have been traveling and I've posted updates and photos on fb for all to see.  Does she think I'm going to put together a separate message to her just because she won't fb?

 

I physically signed my dad up some months ago.  It took like 5 minutes.  Now he still hardly logs in, like it's this big stressful thing, even though he spends hours every day on the internet.  I don't get it.

 

Now if my kid sister joined, my dad might look at his facebook more often, since hers are the youngest (and therefore obviously cutest) grandkids.  :P

[KungFuPanda]

"This group communicates on FB. If you do not 'do' Facebook, it is your responsibility to find someone (NOT a leader) who is willing to keep you up-to-date on the group information."

 

It's that simple. Some will get mad. Some might leave. Either way you've made group communication easier.

[I talk to the trees]

I agree. I know it's not a popular sentiment, but I think not joining FB is antisocial. People who aren't on it don't realize the statement they are making.

 

Really?  :glare:  My choice not to join the great data mining experiment is fully informed, thank you.

[wendyroo]

While I agree that FB can be used easily even if one doesn't want to do the while FB thing, you do have to be careful with fake names.  I had my whole FB account deleted when I used a fake name.  Lost everything in one fell swoop -- no warning -- and couldn't get it back.  You probably have to use something that sounds real, and should encourage people to do that if you encourage them to open an account.  "Ihate Facebook" as a name probably wouldn't last long (well, for more reason than one!).

 

I made a FB account with my real name solely to enter giveaways that require liking companies on FB.  I almost never used the account, so FB locked it.  To unlock it they wanted me to email a picture of my photo ID to prove my identity.  Um, NO!!  Now they won't let me into my account and they won't let me make a new account with my email.  I've washed my hands of the whole thing, and would be highly annoyed if a group said that the only way to receive information was to have a FB account.

 

Edited to add...

And, I don't mind people writing checks at the grocery store as long as they are prepared.  Write in the store name and date and sign it while the groceries are getting rung up.  Then just fill in the amount and hand it over.  At our grocery store, processing a check (after it is handed over) doesn't really take any longer than any other transaction.

 

I am annoyed by people who just stand there while the groceries are rung up and bagged, and then, only after they are told the total, start digging through their purse to find their wallet, pulling out their credit card, swipe it through the machine, carefully put away the credit card and wallet before they answer whether they want cash back, etc.

 

Wendy

[I talk to the trees]

Pfft... I'm not on Facebook AND I still write checks.

 

Guess I'm doomed.  (LOL)

 

I'm right there in that boat with you! Funny, but when I look around, it doesn't seem like the end of the world. I must be missing something! :laugh:

[sassenach]

"This group communicates on FB. If you do not 'do' Facebook, it is your responsibility to find someone (NOT a leader) who is willing to keep you up-to-date on the group information."

 

It's that simple. Some will get mad. Some might leave. Either way you've made group communication easier.

Yep. Though sometimes as the leader, it's info that you really need people to have and it's a more of a burden to you to have them miss the info. But most of the time, they miss fun stuff and it only effects them.

 

And a dummy account doesn't have to be a fake name, it just has to be friendless and picture less. If you don't friend anyone and you don't put a picture up, you are going to stay unknown on FB.

[creekland]

I'm not on FB and I have no regrets at all - nor plans to change in the near future.

 

It's ok if I miss things. I like living in my own world with my own priorities.

 

Hubby has a FB account, so he can keep up with a few things IF we need it.  Other than watching what our boys post, there's rarely any need we have for it.

 

To each our own.

 

 

[Tangerine]

"This group communicates on FB. If you do not 'do' Facebook, it is your responsibility to find someone (NOT a leader) who is willing to keep you up-to-date on the group information."

 

It's that simple. Some will get mad. Some might leave. Either way you've made group communication easier.

 

Yep.  I run a kids' book club.  We communicate on Facebook.  We vote for books there.  We announce the selection there. When I first started there were people who joined who weren't on FB, and I would email them separately about meeting times, to give them the list of books, to get their votes.  It was seriously inconvenient, and they didn't stay with the group.  If someone joined now who didn't have FB, I would just give them the FB group info and leave it at that.

[kewb]

Bottom line is, if you don't want to facebook don't.  But you then have to accept the responsibility that you will be in charge of making sure you are informed.  I have a friend who is not on facebook.  We belong to the same group.  When something important pops up I let her know.  Not the end of the world for me or her.

 

I still write checks.

 

[SKL]

For the record, I do YahooGroups and Remind.  Those work JUST FINE in keeping a group informed.

 

I really prefer to have all my groups in one easily accessible place.  It's too much trouble for me to access all sorts of different web locations.  Facebook serves multiple purposes all in one place.  And you don't have to give them your personal info.

 

It's a personal choice, and I really don't judge those who won't use it, but I am in favor of efficiency.  Less is more.

[Laurie]

You must really get annoyed when I take up two parking spaces at the grocery store with my horse and buggy. 

[creekland]

You must really get annoyed when I take up two spaces at the grocery store with my horse and buggy. 

 

Wait!  Are we supposed to be putting them in one???

[brehon]

I agree. I know it's not a popular sentiment, but I think not joining FB is antisocial. People who aren't on it don't realize the statement they are making.

It's not popular because it's not generally true. I'm not on FB for various reasons, though dh is, none of which has to do with making some sort of statement.

 

Making assumptions as to intent isn't usually a good thing because one is often wrong.

[TechWife]

I agree. I know it's not a popular sentiment, but I think not joining FB is antisocial. People who aren't on it don't realize the statement they are making.

 

 

My teenaged son isn't on Facebook because he would rather maintain his privacy and he thinks that real friends should spend time with each other, not rely on an electronic medium for surface communication. That's quite a statement and I am proud of him for it! 

[SKL]

I used to be on an active adoption forum, but it got very quiet over there when a facebook group was opened up.  I was on an email list for an annual get-together, so I would go there, and everyone would know everyone else's business except for me.  Why?  Were they all hanging out together without me?  Why yes - on the facebook group.  Joining facebook was the right decision for me.  Can't speak for anyone else.

[MEmama]

I'm not on FB, never have been and never will be. No statement about it.

 

Judgmental much?

[poppy]

Since the youth don't really use facebook anymore the swim team moved to group me https://groupme.com/to share information. It is a group texting thing.

 

Facebook is free.  Each text costs me twenty cents.

[SKL]

Not everyone knows how to use it and change the default settings (where applicable). Someone who follows the rules will need to sign up with their real name. And then if they post from a mobile device facebook likes to share their location.

 

 

You can turn off the thing about sharing location.

 

I've never used my real name on facebook, and I didn't "know how to use it" at first.  It really is not complicated.

 

[Janie Grace]

It's not popular because it's not generally true. I'm not on FB, though dh is, for various reasons, none of which has to do with making some sort of statement.

 

Okay, I should have said that they do not realize how their decision is interpreted by many. And maybe they don't care, which is fine.

 

I think that the comparison to phones/email addresses in years past is a good one. Once something becomes the common mode of social connection, those who abstain may be viewed as placing a lower value on connection. 

[poppy]

I'm not on FB, never have been and never will be. No statement about it.

 

Judgmental much?

 

You never will be, and that's not a "statement"?

 

I don't give a hoot if you're on Facebook. But when  I'm organizing an event that you want to be part of, but I have to set up a whole different system  to indulge your non-statement..... I am allowed to be a little annoyed, I think.

[Guest]

Please explain the privacy thing to me. FB has my name and the groups I'm in (2 or 3, will be more next year). What data is there to mine that should be private??

[Guest submarines]

Years ago, I led a Cub Scout group. One woman didn't have email (she worked in an office??) so she wanted me to call her with information. I decided then that it wasn't the leaders job to make sure everyone had information. It is the job of the participants, who want to be there, to stay informed. I put the information out in an easily accessible form, my job is done.

 

This is really bizarre to me.

[Serenade]

I'm making the statement that I value my privacy and wish to retain control of that and my online presence. I don't want to be a "product." If that makes me antisocial, so be it.

 

 

Amen. Mark Zuckerberg has come right out and said nobody is entitled to privacy.  I vehemently disagree with that statement.