Nemom Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 please don't show up at a party with your kleenex box in hand announcing how you "are being completely selfish" because three of your four family members are sick BUT it is New Year's Eve. A party with three other families where we will be sharing food and playing various games throughout the evening. UGH! About a half hour after their arrival, I watched the husband blow his nose twice and then proceed to get something to eat without washing his hands. Time. To. Leave. Here's why: My dd is scheduled for surgery out of state in two weeks. A surgery that was cancelled in October because she caught whatever bug my son brought home two weeks before. Surgery is in a speciality hospital and it takes about three months to get back into the surgery rotation schedule. Everytime surgery is cancelled it slows down the process of getting her from point A to point B which includes eventual removal of a feeding tube and being able to stop the nasty formula. Dd and myself are both dx'd immune compromised and receive an IV blood product every four weeks to fight off the infections that are bodies are unable to do on their own. When she gets sick-she gets really sick. We have only met this particular family twice so I doubt they are familiar with our health situation. But regardless, is it not just incredibly rude to show up at a party when 3/4 of your family is ill? I had to pull the host aside and explain that we really needed to leave. My kids were disappointed but I could also see the relief on my dd's face. We wound up having a fun time at home but WHY did WE have to be the ones to leave? Ok-just needed to get that off my chest so I can move on for the year. Happy 2015! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Elephant Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 please don't show up at a party with your kleenex box in hand announcing how you "are being completely selfish" because three of your four family members are sick BUT it is New Year's Eve. A party with three other families where we will be sharing food and playing various games throughout the evening. UGH! About a half hour after their arrival, I watched the husband blow his nose twice and then proceed to get something to eat without washing his hands. Time. To. Leave. Here's why: My dd is scheduled for surgery out of state in two weeks. A surgery that was cancelled in October because she caught whatever bug my son brought home two weeks before. Surgery is in a speciality hospital and it takes about three months to get back into the surgery rotation schedule. Everytime surgery is cancelled it slows down the process of getting her from point A to point B which includes eventual removal of a feeding tube and being able to stop the nasty formula. Dd and myself are both dx'd immune compromised and receive an IV blood product every four weeks to fight off the infections that are bodies are unable to do on their own. When she gets sick-she gets really sick. We have only met this particular family twice so I doubt they are familiar with our health situation. But regardless, is it not just incredibly rude to show up at a party when 3/4 of your family is ill? I had to pull the host aside and explain that we really needed to leave. My kids were disappointed but I could also see the relief on my dd's face. We wound up having a fun time at home but WHY did WE have to be the ones to leave? Ok-just needed to get that off my chest so I can move on for the year. Happy 2015! My sentiment exactly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I hear you. I hope your Dd can have her surgery and get on with healing. Stay strong Mama! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 please don't show up at a party with your kleenex box in hand announcing how you "are being completely selfish" because three of your four family members are sick BUT it is New Year's Eve. A party with three other families where we will be sharing food and playing various games throughout the evening. UGH! About a half hour after their arrival, I watched the husband blow his nose twice and then proceed to get something to eat without washing his hands. Time. To. Leave. Here's why: My dd is scheduled for surgery out of state in two weeks. A surgery that was cancelled in October because she caught whatever bug my son brought home two weeks before. Surgery is in a speciality hospital and it takes about three months to get back into the surgery rotation schedule. Everytime surgery is cancelled it slows down the process of getting her from point A to point B which includes eventual removal of a feeding tube and being able to stop the nasty formula. Dd and myself are both dx'd immune compromised and receive an IV blood product every four weeks to fight off the infections that are bodies are unable to do on their own. When she gets sick-she gets really sick. We have only met this particular family twice so I doubt they are familiar with our health situation. But regardless, is it not just incredibly rude to show up at a party when 3/4 of your family is ill? I had to pull the host aside and explain that we really needed to leave. My kids were disappointed but I could also see the relief on my dd's face. We wound up having a fun time at home but WHY did WE have to be the ones to leave? Ok-just needed to get that off my chest so I can move on for the year. Happy 2015! This is my pet peeve! Hope you all stay healthy and are able to have the surgery as scheduled :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 (Hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Wow, the nerve. I mean, I get some people have to run to the grocery when they're not feeling well, but to show up to a party announcing you are sick?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 You had to LEAVE because they came. I hope they understand that. How appalling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I am sorry. I really am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemom Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 You had to LEAVE because they came. I hope they understand that. How appalling. Best to leave than take the chance of her getting sick. I imagine to most this probably makes us look the "jerks" but who cares. I don't know if the host explained the situation or made up something about why we left. My DH had a slight cold/sore throat for a couple of days and he spent that time in the basement by himself with me bringing him meals so he wouldn't get any of us sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Stunningly rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I hope your DD stays healthy, and that all of you do. You made the right call. Good job leaving. Those guests were right - they *are* selfish. So sorry you had to leave, and totally agree with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Funny, didn't we just read a thread where the OP was wondering if some members of her family who were sick, or kind of sick, or potentially sick should go to a NYE party? Most of us probably never think of immune deficiency issues like the above poster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Funny, didn't we just read a thread where the OP was wondering if some members of her family who were sick, or kind of sick, or potentially sick should go to a NYE party? Most of us probably never think of immune deficiency issues like the above poster. No, this was a different scenario where they admittedly and openly announced they are being selfish by showing up sick, with a box of kleenex in hand, because they didn't want to stay home sick. The other thread was wondering if the well individuals could attend. It wasn't about the visibly sick attending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I'm sorry. :-( We all brought back the Christmas carp extended family had. It's almost impossible to avoid as we were staying in sick person's house and it all spread from there. Aside from that, I just don't know why sick people don't stay home. And where do people miss the hand-washing memo??? Raised in a barn! And yes, host should have asked sick person to depart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Yes, yes, yes...I too wish people who were sick would stay home. I hope no one in your family catches it, and your dd surgery goes as planned. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 You weren't a jerk in any way by wanting to protect your family's health. I hope the hostess did tell them why you left. People need to know that their selfishness isn't a laughing matter but has real consequences for real people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 :iagree: with Jean...Tissue box man was the jerk last night not you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Wow, that is awful. My family just got over the flue,...that we got from sick people coming to our church! Please, please...it does not make you more spiritual to come to church sick! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemom Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 Wow, that is awful. My family just got over the flue,...that we got from sick people coming to our church! Please, please...it does not make you more spiritual to come to church sick! We acutally tend to avoid church during the months of January and February for this very reason. Too much hand shaking and sick people who think it is only for an hour. If we do go, we sit in the last row. Thanks for the support. I always wonder if we are overreacting but I know in my heart we are not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Yes, I agree, last night the others were being obnoxious, not you. I'm sorry you had to leave, and I hope it was in time to avoid getting sick! That sounds like the family had a bad cold. However, in my experience, there are times when people have mild colds, and it isn't a big deal. If you have several children, chances are that it can take a while before everyone is completely healthy, and if you waited to socialize until everyone was completely healthy, nobody would ever do anything. I wouldn't attend a party if we were super sick, like the family you mentioned was, but I might attend a casual play date with a couple of sniffly kids. I would mention that to the family we were playing with, though, and I'd expect them to do the same, so that either of us could mention things like upcoming surgery or travel or visiting elderly relatives and decline if need be. In your case, the sick family should have let the hostess know ahead of time, giving her the opportunity to say either "no big deal, colds happen, come anyway," or "I'm sorry you're sick and will need to stay home; we will see you another time." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baseball mom Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 What a jerk! Hope your family stays well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Wow. What an idiot!!! If I was hosting that party and a guest came in an made an announcement like that, I would have sent him packing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemom Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 We received an alert from the school system that all of the children attend except my dd that whooping cough was running rampant a couple of days before winter break. Just another reason to be extra cautious right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 No, this was a different scenario where they admittedly and openly announced they are being selfish by showing up sick, with a box of kleenex in hand, because they didn't want to stay home sick. The other thread was wondering if the well individuals could attend. It wasn't about the visibly sick attending. Yes, good point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Amen. I have an immune compromised child. I do not appreciate sitting in a hospital room for a couple of weeks because you couldn't stay home from a party. It is beyond extremely rude and selfish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 No, this was a different scenario where they admittedly and openly announced they are being selfish by showing up sick, with a box of kleenex in hand, because they didn't want to stay home sick. The other thread was wondering if the well individuals could attend. It wasn't about the visibly sick attending. I'm going to respectfully disagree that the other scenario was okay and this one is not. The guy in this thread was totally obnoxious, but I still think if half your family is sick, there's a good chance the other half is also sick, just not yet symptomatic. Of course the other family members might not end up getting it, but it is sheer courtesy to err on the side of caution. Throw the tomatoes, y'all, but I'll not change my opinion on this. OP, don't worry about your swift departure last night. I hope all in your family remain well and that your dd can have her procedure as scheduled. We have several acquaintances battling scary bad cases of Flu A this year and we plan to lay low ourselves for the next few weeks, and practice all our infection controls habits when we do. We have plenty to keep us busy at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 A friend of mine was in the leadership of a group of PS families fundraising for their PS kids to take a trip to DC. The families (parents and children) worked for two years to raise funds to send the kids, and when the time came to leave friend's son had a stomach virus. Instead of keeping sick boy home she actually sent him, vomiting, on the trip. She figured it wasn't any big deal if a couple of the other kids ended up sick for a couple of days?!?!?! Well, one of the girls who caught it from him was immune compromised and ended up having to fly home in the middle of the trip due to complications. I can't imagine why my friend thought this was all okay, and I probably would have sued her for the cost of the trip and extra plane fare home if I had been the other parent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I'm going to respectfully disagree that the other scenario was okay and this one is not. The guy in this thread was totally obnoxious, but I still think if half your family is sick, there's a good chance the other half is also sick, just not yet symptomatic. Of course the other family members might not end up getting it, but it is sheer courtesy to err on the side of caution. Throw the tomatoes, y'all, but I'll not change my opinion on this. OP, don't worry about your swift departure last night. I hope all in your family remain well and that your dd can have her procedure as scheduled. We have several acquaintances battling scary bad cases of Flu A this year and we plan to lay low ourselves for the next few weeks, and practice all our infection controls habits when we do. We have plenty to keep us busy at home. Oh, I agree with you :P I was just notating the differences in this thread vs the other one. Many have differing opinions on well members attending but most agree a sick person should stay home out of respect of others regardless of the scenario. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I'm going to respectfully disagree that the other scenario was okay and this one is not. The guy in this thread was totally obnoxious, but I still think if half your family is sick, there's a good chance the other half is also sick, just not yet symptomatic. Of course the other family members might not end up getting it, but it is sheer courtesy to err on the side of caution. Throw the tomatoes, y'all, but I'll not change my opinion on this. OP, don't worry about your swift departure last night. I hope all in your family remain well and that your dd can have her procedure as scheduled. We have several acquaintances battling scary bad cases of Flu A this year and we plan to lay low ourselves for the next few weeks, and practice all our infection controls habits when we do. We have plenty to keep us busy at home. In the other thread, the person took opinions like that into consideration. Many people said to keep everyone home. I don't know how it ended up though. Perhaps I should look for an update. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I'm going to respectfully disagree that the other scenario was okay and this one is not. The guy in this thread was totally obnoxious, but I still think if half your family is sick, there's a good chance the other half is also sick, just not yet symptomatic. Of course the other family members might not end up getting it, but it is sheer courtesy to err on the side of caution. Throw the tomatoes, y'all, but I'll not change my opinion on this. OP, don't worry about your swift departure last night. I hope all in your family remain well and that your dd can have her procedure as scheduled. We have several acquaintances battling scary bad cases of Flu A this year and we plan to lay low ourselves for the next few weeks, and practice all our infection controls habits when we do. We have plenty to keep us busy at home. I think that you're exactly right. Dh had flu the week before Christmas, even though I quarantined him upstairs and everyone else was asymptomatic, we ALL stayed home that week. Why share just because we're bored, or the kids might be disappointed about missing something? I'm sorry, but even well people with sick family members should stay away from others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I agree that the sick attendees were jerks. However, I would not have even gone to the party with an immune compromised person two weeks out from specialty surgery. Especially in winter/cold/flu season. So my family's having to leave or not would be a moot point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemom Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 I agree that the sick attendees were jerks. However, I would not have even gone to the party with an immune compromised person two weeks out from specialty surgery. Especially in winter/cold/flu season. So my family's having to leave or not would be a moot point. Not excusing their choice to come to the party but we have only met the family on two other occasions and our health issues were not discussed during those meetings. They had no way of knowing we are immune compromised or about the surgery in advance of coming to the party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemom Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 A friend of mine was in the leadership of a group of PS families fundraising for their PS kids to take a trip to DC. The families (parents and children) worked for two years to raise funds to send the kids, and when the time came to leave friend's son had a stomach virus. Instead of keeping sick boy home she actually sent him, vomiting, on the trip. She figured it wasn't any big deal if a couple of the other kids ended up sick for a couple of days?!?!?! Well, one of the girls who caught it from him was immune compromised and ended up having to fly home in the middle of the trip due to complications. I can't imagine why my friend thought this was all okay, and I probably would have sued her for the cost of the trip and extra plane fare home if I had been the other parent! How sad for the girl. I hope she was okay in the long run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 In the other thread, the person took opinions like that into consideration. Many people said to keep everyone home. I don't know how it ended up though. Perhaps I should look for an update. Agreed. I said to keep everyone home in that thread too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I wonder if this isn't a homeschool vs B&m school thing? This has come up on the boards a lot over the years and the general consensus is to keep the kids home when they are sick. I'm in agreement; I do the same. But my friends who have kids in school are laissez faire with germy kids...theirs or mine. I can't tell you how many times my girls have brought home the flu or a nasty stomach thing from a babysitting house. I always have my teens call and give the parents a heads up if they feel like they are coming down with or just getting over something. They parents almost always say they are fine with the chance that the children may get sick. I've felt pressured to attend to social occasions in spite of calling to cancel on account of one or more kids being sick. Maybe we're used to our schedules being our own while families who work and school outside the home are used to the expectation that they are to push through and show up unless they are just short of hospitalization. Not to make excuses regarding the OP...more of a muse on cultural differences I've perceived over the years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I totally agree. It really makes me angry when people do that. It's especially rough on my special needs child when she gets sick. I wish the offending people could come spend the week with her and see what I mean. I hope you guys will stay well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomeontheprairie Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 No, this was a different scenario where they admittedly and openly announced they are being selfish by showing up sick, with a box of kleenex in hand, because they didn't want to stay home sick. The other thread was wondering if the well individuals could attend. It wasn't about the visibly sick attending. This. I was the poster in the other thread. There is no way sick members would have gone. (And ftr, none did) OP, I'm so sorry that those who were sick came knowing they were being selfish and knowing there was a risk. I'm sorry you felt you needed to leave to protect your daughter. I'm glad you ended up having a good time despite it, and I hope your surgery goes according to plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I get it. I have a child whose health issues will only send his respiratory system downhill in the years to come. Honestly, though, with your daughter that close to surgery it was a blessing that someone was visibly sick. So many people spread things before they even know they're sick. During flu season, I go with the paranoia and just assume any crowd is harboring hidden, evil germs. It's worth the confinement to not loose that surgery slot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Not excusing their choice to come to the party but we have only met the family on two other occasions and our health issues were not discussed during those meetings. They had no way of knowing we are immune compromised or about the surgery in advance of coming to the party. I'm not saying they should know. If I were you (having immune compromised family members) you'd not catch me anywhere near a large gathering of people during cold and flu season. Especially two weeks out from surgery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I wish my inlaws would get this memo. They seem to not understand cause and effect in illness. Of course, my MIL would try to kiss a grandchild while having a cold sore, too. I mean, who does that? So gross...and virulent. It gets exhausting dealing with people who don't get these basic health concepts. My SIL used to bring her sick daughters to the holiday gathering every year. She has overt narc. tendencies though, and wouldn't dream of depriving anyone of their company. I wish I was exaggerating. I once received a humdinger of an email from her about how I was depriving myself of the great honor of being around her girls enough. It was a fascinating email. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I wonder if this isn't a homeschool vs B&m school thing? This has come up on the boards a lot over the years and the general consensus is to keep the kids home when they are sick. I'm in agreement; I do the same. But my friends who have kids in school are laissez faire with germy kids...theirs or mine. I can't tell you how many times my girls have brought home the flu or a nasty stomach thing from a babysitting house. I always have my teens call and give the parents a heads up if they feel like they are coming down with or just getting over something. They parents almost always say they are fine with the chance that the children may get sick. I've felt pressured to attend to social occasions in spite of calling to cancel on account of one or more kids being sick. Maybe we're used to our schedules being our own while families who work and school outside the home are used to the expectation that they are to push through and show up unless they are just short of hospitalization. Not to make excuses regarding the OP...more of a muse on cultural differences I've perceived over the years.I have always worked since having kids and for the past 2.5 years, my children have attended b&m school...and I totally agree with this. Both of my kids have had a yucky cough for about four weeks now. If I still homeschooled, I may have tried to stay home more to try to keep my kids well, but the fact is that I just can't take off that much work and my kids can't miss that much school. Kids go to school with colds - they just do. I hate it but it's the way life works. I just continue to preach to my kids about hand washing and keeping thie hands away from their face, and I hope for the best. Now, referring to the OP's post, that family was beyond rude. They were selfish and I feel horribly that you had to leave a party because of them. But I do agree that for many people, it is just expected that you just got on with life sick. ETA: I have a job where I have to go and meet with clients regularly. My boss completely expects me to show up for appointments sick or not...unless I'm throwing up. And I work in the finance industry, so my appointments arent meetings that can't be rescheduled. But it's just expected that you suck it up and do your job. So I do think a lot of people look at life this way (although I think if we just all stayed home when sick we would probably be much healthier!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 That is terribly inconsiderate and icky. That said, there is a lot floating around right now, and people are contagious with flu virus 24 hours before they show any symptoms. Flu virus is airborne, unlike the cold. OP, I would self quarantine at this point, and did in a similar situation with my son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSmomof2 Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I wonder if this isn't a homeschool vs B&m school thing? This has come up on the boards a lot over the years and the general consensus is to keep the kids home when they are sick. I'm in agreement; I do the same. But my friends who have kids in school are laissez faire with germy kids...theirs or mine. I can't tell you how many times my girls have brought home the flu or a nasty stomach thing from a babysitting house. I always have my teens call and give the parents a heads up if they feel like they are coming down with or just getting over something. They parents almost always say they are fine with the chance that the children may get sick. I've felt pressured to attend to social occasions in spite of calling to cancel on account of one or more kids being sick. Maybe we're used to our schedules being our own while families who work and school outside the home are used to the expectation that they are to push through and show up unless they are just short of hospitalization. Not to make excuses regarding the OP...more of a muse on cultural differences I've perceived over the years. I've seen it both ways, so I think it's more of an individual/family thing rather than schooling location. My dc are in ps now, and I don't hesitate to keep them home when sick. I don't like sharing our illnesses with others and would love it if others shared the same view. Sadly, they don't. Dc also haven't been sick more than usual since attending ps, but I'm a little over the top when it comes to handwashing and trying to steer clear of obviously ill people (and dc have picked up these same habits (neuroses? :huh: ) of mine. Over our years homeschooling, however, more than once a mom at our co-op brought her obviously sick children to co-op rather than have them miss a day. Another mom in our hs support group brought her dd (who had been vomiting all morning) to a birthday party because her other dc didn't want to miss it. Six kids and two moms at the party all got sick 24-48 hrs later. And, my sister, whose dc are in ps is very lax about sending her dc places when they're sick.....so, I think it's more just individual people/families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 An ordinary cold would be ok if they used basic hygeine and no infants or elderly were present and if they didnt know immune compromised people were attending. If the host knew or the ill people knew, it is beyond bad manners. We stayed home last night as the extended family includes someone who doesnt want to treat the mild pneumonia he has. We found out it is contagious a few years ago when son got it from that person comimg over unannounced and not using any hygiene. We dont eat anything at parties that involve food handling by people with poor hygeine. I can't really agree with this. I have a relative in treatment for leukemia- he never talks about it publicly at all. I don't think it's ever safe to assume that no one at a party is immune compromised unless you're told. Does this mean I'd never run to the drugstore with a cold, no. But optional social events, I have come to be pretty cautious about. Basic hygiene does go a long way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I'm not saying they should know. If I were you (having immune compromised family members) you'd not catch me anywhere near a large gathering of people during cold and flu season. Especially two weeks out from surgery. I balked at my doctor wanting me to come in for a routine bloodwork to continue to refill my thyroid medication, a medicine I will be on the REST OF MY LIFE. I have no spleen, therefore a crappy immune system. I really wanted to put it off until spring so I'm not in the cramped office and exam rooms with actual sick people during the height of the flu season, which has just been labeled "epidemic" in our area. I was able to put it off for about 3 weeks and got the first appointment of the day. Seriously, I think they would not want to make me sick, but I think it's the provider pushing for the appointments, not the doctor himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemom Posted January 2, 2015 Author Share Posted January 2, 2015 I'm not saying they should know. If I were you (having immune compromised family members) you'd not catch me anywhere near a large gathering of people during cold and flu season. Especially two weeks out from surgery. I am trying to ignore this and not take it personally but I am having a hard time not commenting. One post does not begin to illustrate the lengths our family goes through to maintain our health. My family made the decision to attend ONE small holiday event outside of family christmas to try to maintain some form of normalcy in our otherwise very unnormal lives. Dd would have loved to have been at the church youth group lockin sleepover on NYE's but that was not a choice. We are not running all around town, attending church or putting ourselves in situations where there is constantly large groups of potentially sick people. We spend the majority of our time at home. No one can begin to understand the amount of things that we give up and do not attend because of our health issues unless they themselves have chronic health issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I'm sorry they were so thoughtless and you had to leave the party. My family was always of the "stay home if you're sick" mentality. I don't really understand the other side. "People will get sick no matter what." Um, no. They will not get sick as often if sick people stay home. I hope your daughter's surgery and recovery go well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I am trying to ignore this and not take it personally but I am having a hard time not commenting. One post does not begin to illustrate the lengths our family goes through to maintain our health. My family made the decision to attend ONE small holiday event outside of family christmas to try to maintain some form of normalcy in our otherwise very unnormal lives. Dd would have loved to have been at the church youth group lockin sleepover on NYE's but that was not a choice. We are not running all around town, attending church or putting ourselves in situations where there is constantly large groups of potentially sick people. We spend the majority of our time at home. No one can begin to understand the amount of things that we give up and do not attend because of our health issues unless they themselves have chronic health issues. I have chronic health issues. I have immune issues. I wore a mask last year for all outings to protect myself from other people because the simple fact is that there are too many variables with others that you cannot control. I haven't this year but I'm on the cusp right now of deciding if I'm going to need to do that or not. (But as I said upthread, the person who came knowing they were sick was rude and out of line.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WistfulRidge Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I'd have said something along the lines of "Well I'm going to be completely selfish and ask you to leave because x, y, z." But I'm not afraid of being rude and/or alienating people, so... This is one of my biggest pet peeves. If you're sick, if your family is sick then STAY HOME. PERIOD. Don't share. You wanting to have a good time/ be at a specific place at a specific time is not reason enough to get others sick. Mutter. I hope neither your or your daughter get sick and that everything goes well with her surgery! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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