Bedtime for kids--what time?

[Garga]

My sons are 11 and 9. Their bedtime is 8:00.

 

I am a person who thinks it's important for people to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day. From what I have learned, that's the healthiest way to get your rest. But the 8:00 bedtime is getting a bit tricky to enforce all 7 days of the week. We have church night on Wednesday and they don't even leave the church building until 8:30. We have friends that we hang out with every weekend and like to stay at their house until 9:30 or even 10:00 on Friday or Sat night. The boys aren't always very tired at 8:00 and bounce around a lot.

 

I am thinking of changing their bedtime to 9:00.

 

But--will I regret it? Will I regret that extra hour of time without kids around? Don't get me wrong I adore being with them, but I do notice that at 8:00 I'm tired of being "on" in the role of Mom. I need to just chill without someone needing help with anything. I get a bit crabby if anyone needs help after 8:00. I like to be in bed by 10:30.

 

What do you do in your household about bedtimes? Early? Late? Different every day? Why?

[Arcadia]

 Don't get me wrong I adore being with them, but I do notice that at 8:00 I'm tired of being "on" in the role of Mom. I need to just chill without someone needing help with anything.

 

After dinner is my kids free time to read or play quietly. I'm already tired so my hubby takes over if they are doing anything that needs an adult supervision like going for a swim at my condo pool. 

Maybe let them sleep at 9pm but make it quiet time after 8pm for them.

[Jennifer132]

My oldest two are 7.5 and 9. We have a 7:30 bedtime, but neither of them goes to sleep then. They just have to play or read quietly in their rooms. My 7 yo will usually be asleep by 8. The 9 year old has an alarm that goes off at 9:15 and at that point he puts himself to bed. If he had no alarm, he'd be up later than me! When we have company, and they stay up late, that's considered an exception in my mind, and we just go with it. Normally, we do have the bedtime though. Like you, I need my down time.

[SKL]

Our targeted bedtime is currently 9:30.  My girls are 7 and they wake up around 7:30am.  This works well for us and it is pretty easy to enforce almost every day.

 

My kids have evening activities.  They don't get home on Thursday nights until at least 9pm.  Friday nights we go out to eat and then watch a show on DVD.  They also have to leave the house between 8-8:30am every morning (7 days per week).  So 9:30-7:30 is really the only way to be mostly consistent.

 

There's no way I could do an 8pm bedtime.  It used to be 8:30 when the kids were in KG, and even that was very hard to stick to.  Their bedtime has never been earlier than 8:30, even when they were tots.

[plumshadow]

Try a compromise and shoot for 8:30. 

[Χά�ων]

8pm for a 9 and 11 year old seems a bit early. What time time do your boys wake up? 

 

My son is 10 and gets up at 4am on days he has early ice and at 15 minutes before dawn the rest of the week, currently that is 5:45. He is up for 15 minutes and goes back to bed for an hour or two. He is usually in bed between 9-10. Of course that changes each school year depending on ice times. I am a bit confused by "I do notice that at 8:00 I'm tired of being "on" in the role of Mom. I need to just chill without someone needing help with anything. I get a bit crabby if anyone needs help after 8:00. I like to be in bed by 10:30. " Are your boys high needs? I know that my son tends to be on the more independent side for his age (it's his personality) but aside from preparing lunch and dinner and reminding him to attend to his personal hygiene I am not in the constant role of actively entertaining him 24/7 at this point in his life.  

 

Maybe a later bed time with quiet time after 8?

 

 

[AimeeM]

The bedtime for your 11 year old seems a bit early to me, tbh.

We don't really have bedtimes, so maybe I can't speak on it, lol.

[Dory]

We shoot for 8pm here too. The older two read for about 30min after that. We have had the same bedtime routine since my oldest was about 3 so by now we have a pretty good groove that the kids fall into. I am noticing that my oldest is not really ready to sleep yet at 8:30 so we might be pushing his bedtime another half hour later. My youngest doesn't sleep really well. We tried different bedtimes and later bedtimes tend to just make him harder to handle the next day.

 

We have one late night every week, but one night out of seven is an ok exception. I have noticed that school gets harder and the kids are more distracted and tend to bicker more when they have had too many late nights.

 

My kids are up at 7am every morning and moving pretty good.

 

Come summer, I will sometimes allow for a few late nights just to make the most of those few long days that we have. I pay for it the next day though. I doesn't matter how tired the kids are, they still wake up at their usual hour.

[Ali in OR]

One of the benefits of home schooling is more flexibility with bed times. We aim to get them into their beds by 9:30. They are often still chatting away when I go to bed at 10:00. We also have some nights where soccer or ballet aren't done until 8:00 and it takes awhile to wind down after that. I consider myself off-duty once everyone is home, dinner mess is cleaned up, and I get my disabled dd to bed at 8:15ish. The kiddos are doing their own thing. 13 yo will handle getting her Latin done on her own. She is also up by 7:00 for her on-line class. Youngest sleeps a bit later (often in bed when the bus comes by to pick up PS elementary kids at 8:00), but she'll be up and ready to go when we start our sofa-work at 8:45am.

 

Dh does the bed-time routine with them--a little discussion time together. Often these days they are sharing funny things on the iPad (how Frozen should have ended, Harry Potter things, etc.)

[Joshin]

We have "be in your rooms and be quiet time," lol. It's always been 9:00 since the kids were little, otherwise I would have had toddlers waking me up at 4:00 am! The kids are 9 and 13 now. Bedtime is loosely 9 pm for the 9 yo -- he has to be in his room and in bed, but if he stays up and reads that's no concern of mine. 13 year old is banished to his room by 9:30. I don't care if he's even in bed, but he better be reading or playing quietly. I assume he usually goes to sleep. He's my morning person and he's usually up by 6 am. After bed time, you only leave for bathroom or emergencies.

 

As for evening demands, it's never been an issue. After dinner (or getting home from activities) the kids do any evening cleanup chores and then everyone is supposed to wind down and relax. No high energy play, hardcore projects that need a lot of adult input, or bugging mom and dad just because you are bored. We are all people that like our own space and need our own personal time, so it's never really been an issue. I don't know if our kids were born this way, or if we subconsciously taught them to be this way.

[Joshin]

We have "be in your rooms and be quiet time," lol. It's always been 9:00 since the kids were little, otherwise I would have had toddlers waking me up at 4:00 am! The kids are 9 and 13 now. Bedtime is loosely 9 pm for the 9 yo -- he has to be in his room and in bed, but if he stays up and reads that's no concern of mine. 13 year old is banished to his room by 9:30. I don't care if he's even in bed, but he better be reading or playing quietly. I assume he usually goes to sleep. He's my morning person and he's usually up by 6 am. After bed time, you only leave for bathroom or emergencies.

 

As for evening demands, it's never been an issue. After dinner (or getting home from activities) the kids do any evening cleanup chores and then everyone is supposed to wind down and relax. No high energy play, hardcore projects that need a lot of adult input, or bugging mom and dad just because you are bored. We are all people that like our own space and need our own personal time, so it's never really been an issue. I don't know if our kids were born this way, or if we subconsciously taught them to be this way.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Our bedtimes are based in the average time they get up in the mornings.

 

When they woke with the sun we had bedtime early. Now it's 9-10pm. Teen usually reads awhile before sleeping, but he still goes to bed by 10 usually.

[shawthorne44]

My husband had a really early bedtime growing up.  7 pm in elementary school.  MIL didn't care if/when he went sleep, she just wanted him out of her hair.  So, DH would read and read and read and read.  He read a lot, but today he still has trouble getting to sleep without 4 hours of piddling around.  

[Ellie]

My dc were 9 and 12 before we allowed them to stay up until 9. Before then, it was 8 each night we were home. Actually, it was 7-7:30 for many years. Happily, even with those early bedtimes, they slept until 7:30-8. I *like* having early bedtimes, because it gave Mr. Ellie and me a few hours of adult time in the evening.

 

I might have felt differently, though, if they were the kind of early birds who were up at 6 a.m. o_0

[sbgrace]

My boys are 10 years old. One, who needs a lot of sleep due to a metabolic condition, has an 8 pm bedtime. His twin has a 9 to 9:30 bedtime. With those bedtimes, they both get up around the same time.

 

Evening activities-church, invitations, 4-H, Scouts--nearly everything--are a problem for the 8 pm bedtime. If all else was equal, and in your situation, I would have that child at a 9 or so bedtime too.

 

 

[mom2samlibby]

That seems really early to me for the ages of your kids.  We would have a hard time enforcing that here with evening activities.  

[Snickerdoodle]

 So, DH would read and read and read and read.  He read a lot, but today he still has trouble getting to sleep without 4 hours of piddling around.  

 

Holy cow.    Your husband and I are kindred spirits, LOL. 

 

 

 

[Amira]

Around that age we drop set bedtimes. Instead, the deal is that as long as my child isn't bothering me, I won't tell him to go to bed. If we had to be up early for school it would be different.

 

An 8 PM bedtime doesn't necessarily seem early to me for a 9yo, but it definitely does for an 11yo. Also, if they're not tired at 8PM, they probably don't need to go to bed that early.

[sunnyday]

The book Sleepless in America has some interesting stuff about how different kids' personalities affect their sleep needs. Some kids do fine with varying bedtimes, some not so much. Some will sleep the longest stretches with the earliest bedtimes (sleep begets sleep), some will crash for their set number of hours regardless, etc. My 7yo son does best with about 11 hours of sleep, and he gets up at about 7:30 almost not matter what I do, so I try to get him in bed by 8:30. I notice a difference in his daytime behavior if I do. Lately I've been exhorting him to PLEASE sleep in if I let him stay up late. He's working on it, and proudly made it to 8:30 in the morning one day after I let him stay up till almost 10. But I feel better about it and see better behavior if I stick to 8:30. (Earlier would maybe be better for him but it'd be much harder to enforce; as it is we slip close to 9pm most nights.)

 

My 5yo needs slightly more than 11 hours but she's good about adjusting her wake times so I actually let her stay up later than her brother most nights (she loves having a few minutes to read after tucked in) because she can get up at 8:30-9 without affecting her behavior for the rest of the day.

[DawnM]

All kids go to bed at 10pm.  The only time I was rigid with bedtimes was when I worked and the boys went to school.  

[Farrar]

Lights out by 10:30 or 11:00 here.  Honestly, if I had not dropped the bedtimes, my kids would have become insomniacs.  They used to be fine going to bed at 8:30, but then something shifted.  If I had not been willing to shift with them, I would have spent all night walking them back to their rooms, listening to them moan and wail about how exhausted they were, but they couldn't sleep.  I'm glad I tried letting them stay up later because it cured them and they started sleeping later to compensate.

 

Basically, I think the bedtime should reflect the needs of the child's own rhythms.

[Garga]

OP here.  Yes, I have thought the 8:00 bedtime was very early for my 11 yo.  To balance that, he gets up around 5:30 or 6:00 and then very quietly goes into our schoolroom and listens to podcasts and putters around with his Legos.  He doesn't disturb anyone.  DH gets up at 6:45 and they see each other for a bit before dh leaves at 7:45.  I get up at 7:45.  

 

No matter when ds11 goes to bed, he always gets up at 5:30/6:00, even if he stays up until 11:00.  He is very crabby on those days.  He enjoys his alone time in the early morning.

 

Ds9 sleeps until around 7:30 or 8:00.  Sometime when he's up late he'll sleep in later.  

 

I have always preferred a full 8.5-9 hours of sleep for myself.  

 

I am exactly half introverted and half extroverted.  So, during the day I am very happy to be with the kids.  I greatly enjoy my time with people and feel recharged when I'm with them.  But just as equally, I need my alone time in the evening and feel recharged when I'm alone. There's just something about knowing that at any moment someone might say, "Have you seen my toothbrush?" or "Oops, I spilled some milk all over the kitchen floor," that makes me unable to relax.  Even though I'm not "entertaining" anyone, I just need to know that no one will require anything of me. Anything.  If I don't have that time where I feel completely off the clock, I end up staying up very, very late to get it.  So, if the boys are up until 10:00 I find myself up until 12:00 or 1:00 to get that down time.  

 

And then I'm the crabby one in the morning!

 

It's very interesting to hear what other people do.  Perhaps a good compromise will be to work on relaxing even though the kids are awake by letting them stay up later in their room. (No spilled milk that way.)

[Myeightkiddies]

Well, you could try to get the best of both worlds.  Move the bedtime to 9:00pm.  However, they must be ready for bed - bathroom, teeth brushed, etc. - by 8:00pm.  From 8-9, they can read, play quietly, or whatever in their rooms.  Of course on late nights, they would have to come home and gear up for bed with no or little quiet time.  This should give you some peace (they must be in room and not running around the house) starting at 8:00pm with the flexibility of a 9:00pm bedtime.  Plus they have some time to wind down before bed.

[Gil]

I found it easier to enforce a wake up time than go to sleep times. I stopped bothering with putting them to bed when they turn 6yo. At 6, they aren't 'babies' any more and are on their way to being 'big kids' so in recognition of that, they can stay up as late as they want but they have to be up by X:00am (usually 6am, but it varies with my schedule) without any exceptions because I have to be gone by Y:00am.

 

I always tell them what time they have to get up and tell them how much time they'll have to sleep. Provided that the house is clean, I don't bother with them going to sleep once they are ready to sleep. They are a lot better about being responsible about when to sleep now that they are over the 'power trip' of staying up however late they want.

 

[Garga]

Well, you could try to get the best of both worlds.  Move the bedtime to 9:00pm.  However, they must be ready for bed - bathroom, teeth brushed, etc. - by 8:00pm.  From 8-9, they can read, play quietly, or whatever in their rooms.  Of course on late nights, they would have to come home and gear up for bed with no or little quiet time.  This should give you some peace (they must be in room and not running around the house) starting at 8:00pm with the flexibility of a 9:00pm bedtime.  Plus they have some time to wind down before bed.

 

Yes, I had just come to that conclusion as you were writing this!  I think it's a great idea for all of us.  I especially like the part about them being ready for bed at 8:00.  I will feel better able to relax, they will have fun staying up a little later, and the nights when we're out late won't make them as crabby the next day.  

[mama mills]

I have an almost 7yo an almost 4 yo and a 1yo. Bed time for the older two has been 8:00pm but just recently my oldest asked to have his bed time moved to 8:30 and I am going to start that tonight to see how it goes.

[Spryte]

OP here.  Yes, I have thought the 8:00 bedtime was very early for my 11 yo.  To balance that, he gets up around 5:30 or 6:00 and then very quietly goes into our schoolroom and listens to podcasts and putters around with his Legos.  He doesn't disturb anyone.  DH gets up at 6:45 and they see each other for a bit before dh leaves at 7:45.  I get up at 7:45.  

 

No matter when ds11 goes to bed, he always gets up at 5:30/6:00, even if he stays up until 11:00.  He is very crabby on those days.  He enjoys his alone time in the early morning.

 

Ds9 sleeps until around 7:30 or 8:00.  Sometime when he's up late he'll sleep in later.  

 

I have always preferred a full 8.5-9 hours of sleep for myself.  

 

I am exactly half introverted and half extroverted.  So, during the day I am very happy to be with the kids.  I greatly enjoy my time with people and feel recharged when I'm with them.  But just as equally, I need my alone time in the evening and feel recharged when I'm alone. There's just something about knowing that at any moment someone might say, "Have you seen my toothbrush?" or "Oops, I spilled some milk all over the kitchen floor," that makes me unable to relax.  Even though I'm not "entertaining" anyone, I just need to know that no one will require anything of me. Anything.  If I don't have that time where I feel completely off the clock, I end up staying up very, very late to get it.  So, if the boys are up until 10:00 I find myself up until 12:00 or 1:00 to get that down time.  

 

And then I'm the crabby one in the morning!

 

It's very interesting to hear what other people do.  Perhaps a good compromise will be to work on relaxing even though the kids are awake by letting them stay up later in their room. (No spilled milk that way.)

 

 

I could have written this!  DS (10) is on the same schedule.  He's in bed by 8 - 8:30, but gets up at 5:30 - 6:00 for alone time.  If he stays up late, he still gets up - but he's crabby.  And the rest of your post ... Yep, right there with you.  

 

I'd like to try having DS stay up later consistently, and see if his schedule shifts to sleeping in a bit.  But the worry is that I won't get that alone time, which sounds selfish.  

 

FWIW, DS (mine) is not a play alone type personality.  He doesn't have to play *with* someone, but he's building or creating or doing something alongside me, wherever I may be.  Not alone in his room.  So there is a constant chatter whether he's talking to himself or asking me to see something.  It's a personality thing, and I can enjoy it most of the day.  But by night time - I am wiped out.  So we have to find a balance.

[icollectkids]

My older ones go to bed at 9 M-F. My younger ones are in bed 8:15-8:30ish. On the weekends, we stay up later playing games, watching a movie and so on.

 

At 8:30 I clock out for the evening and do whatever I want...bubble bath, play online, use the bathroom, eat dinner, knit/crochet.. etc.

[eternalsummer]

We don't really have a formal bedtime either; we're night owls, so the kids stay up quite late (midnight or later) and go to bed either when they're tired or when we're tired of them :)  They get up a bit earlier than we do (the two older ones) and play minecraft (their only computer time during the day is before we wake up, so there is incentive to go to bed early enough to wake up before us).  It works.  They're not huge sleepers, especially my son, who hasn't slept more than 8 or 9 hours a night since he was 1.

[a27mom]

My dh works until 8 or 8:30 a lot of nights so our girls generally go to bed between 9 and 9:30. Sometimes I send them up earlier and tell them they can read. They also have the rule that if they are lying down and quite for 15 minutes after "lights out" but still can't fall asleep they can look at books until mom and dad go to bed, or they fall asleep.

 

I prefer they stay up later because I need my alone time in the morning. My girls almost never get up before 7:30, and rarely get up before 8:30. So they consistently get 10 to 11 hours of sleep.

[abba12]

I haven't read the other replies but at that age I went to bed at 8:30, but read books until 9:30. That meant on the weekends I could stay up til 9:30 or 10:00 without being out of routine, I just didn't get reading time, but during the week mum and dad still had time alone from 8:30 onwards

[Jerico]

7 p.m. Except the occasional late night due to guests or what not. We have no evening activities on purpose.

 

My kids get up early regardless. As they age, this may change but then they may have room time. I am done by 5. Lol. Dh and I hit the hay early too- sometimes by 9.

[twoxcell]

We have never been very strict with bedtimes. We shoot for 9pm on school nights, and weekends vary. We usually allow the kids to stay up later on Friday and Saturday nights but not as late on Saturdays or they will be grouches on Sunday morning. Also my older two are allowed to stay up later more often than the younger ones. I am also flexible when it comes to things like watching the Olympics. During something like that I will let them stay up late so long as they are not grouchy and they are able to get up at an appropriate time the next day. I am not about to have us miss out on something due to some arbitrary bedtime. For instance recently I let all of my kids stay up to watch the lunar eclipse and blood moon. My youngest took a late nap so he would be able to stay awake. The next morning we all slept in. ;)

[regentrude]

 Perhaps a good compromise will be to work on relaxing even though the kids are awake by letting them stay up later in their room. (No spilled milk that way.)

 

I have done that since elementary age. My kids never had a set BEDtime. We had, however, a time when MOM was done and off duty, at that age it was 8pm. So, any reading aloud or evening rituals would have to happen before 8pm and the kids would then have to go into their rooms. they were free to occupy themselves quietly however long they wanted - as long as family members who needed to sleep (i.e. mom) were not disturbed.

Because staying up was nothing special and no big deal, the kids self regulated very well and put themselves to bed roughly around the same time each day.

[Pawz4me]

We really didn't have any set bed time after the kids were about 6 or 7.  As long as they were behaving/entertaining themselves in the evenings, ready to get up in the mornings and kept a good mood throughout the day then we left it up to them to decide when they were sleepy and ready to go to bed.  We kind of viewed learning good sleep/wake habits as a life skill they needed to learn on their own.  I have no doubt had we tried to get them to go to bed and go to sleep that early at those ages they would've both been up and raring to go at 3:00 a.m.

[Momof3littles]

I aim for ready for bed by 8, meaning jammies on, teeth brushed, read alouds done or underway, snack completed.  The oldest (10yo) stays up and reads longer, until maybe 9-9:30 and wakes up about 7:30.  DD (7 yo) needs 11 hrs or so of sleep and is out between 8:30-9, sometimes a little later since she's starting to get engrossed in books.  She sleeps until 8 or 8:30, sometimes 9 if she was really active the day before. DS2 (4yo) is asleep between 8:30 and 9.  Usually a bit earlier than the other kids.  He no longer naps, and if he's had a lot of outdoor time, he falls asleep pretty quickly. He is up between 7:30 and 8am.

 

At a certain point we tell them we are off duty unless they are on fire or sick.  We coslept, etc. for years, and at their ages (4yo gets a little forgiveness) I expect them to understand our need for downtime as a couple.  My introverted self needs a BREAK by 9 pm.  I am with my kids all day, and really need my hr in the morning a nd 2 hrs in the evening, or I lose my mind.  That's why DS1 gets more wiggle room, for ex.  He still wakes up at a reasonable time, he will stay up a bit later reading but doesn't bug us, etc. so I am willing to let him slide by without an incredibly strict bedtime.  He self regulates and has lights out by 9-9:30 usually.

[Shellydon]

OP here.  Yes, I have thought the 8:00 bedtime was very early for my 11 yo.  To balance that, he gets up around 5:30 or 6:00 and then very quietly goes into our schoolroom and listens to podcasts and putters around with his Legos.  He doesn't disturb anyone.  DH gets up at 6:45 and they see each other for a bit before dh leaves at 7:45.  I get up at 7:45.  

 

No matter when ds11 goes to bed, he always gets up at 5:30/6:00, even if he stays up until 11:00.  He is very crabby on those days.  He enjoys his alone time in the early morning.

 

Ds9 sleeps until around 7:30 or 8:00.  Sometime when he's up late he'll sleep in later.  

 

I have always preferred a full 8.5-9 hours of sleep for myself.  

 

I am exactly half introverted and half extroverted.  So, during the day I am very happy to be with the kids.  I greatly enjoy my time with people and feel recharged when I'm with them.  But just as equally, I need my alone time in the evening and feel recharged when I'm alone. There's just something about knowing that at any moment someone might say, "Have you seen my toothbrush?" or "Oops, I spilled some milk all over the kitchen floor," that makes me unable to relax.  Even though I'm not "entertaining" anyone, I just need to know that no one will require anything of me. Anything.  If I don't have that time where I feel completely off the clock, I end up staying up very, very late to get it.  So, if the boys are up until 10:00 I find myself up until 12:00 or 1:00 to get that down time.  

 

And then I'm the crabby one in the morning!

 

It's very interesting to hear what other people do.  Perhaps a good compromise will be to work on relaxing even though the kids are awake by letting them stay up later in their room. (No spilled milk that way.)

 

If he gets up that early, I would keep the 8:00 bedtime.  My 11 year old goes to bed at 9:00, but often won't fall asleep until 9:30.  She sleeps until 7:45-8:30.  My 10 year needs 11-12 hours a night, 7 year old needs 10-11, 5 year old needs 12-13.  Everyone is in bed between 8:30 and 9, then sleeps the amount they need.

 

[GloriaMS]

 

 

I have always preferred a full 8.5-9 hours of sleep for myself.  

 

I am exactly half introverted and half extroverted.  So, during the day I am very happy to be with the kids.  I greatly enjoy my time with people and feel recharged when I'm with them.  But just as equally, I need my alone time in the evening and feel recharged when I'm alone. There's just something about knowing that at any moment someone might say, "Have you seen my toothbrush?" or "Oops, I spilled some milk all over the kitchen floor," that makes me unable to relax.  Even though I'm not "entertaining" anyone, I just need to know that no one will require anything of me. Anything.  If I don't have that time where I feel completely off the clock, I end up staying up very, very late to get it.  So, if the boys are up until 10:00 I find myself up until 12:00 or 1:00 to get that down time.  

 

And then I'm the crabby one in the morning!

 

 

 

Wow, you described me, except that I only need 8 hours of sleep. 

[Jennifer132]

OP here. Yes, I have thought the 8:00 bedtime was very early for my 11 yo. To balance that, he gets up around 5:30 or 6:00 and then very quietly goes into our schoolroom and listens to podcasts and putters around with his Legos. He doesn't disturb anyone. DH gets up at 6:45 and they see each other for a bit before dh leaves at 7:45. I get up at 7:45.

 

No matter when ds11 goes to bed, he always gets up at 5:30/6:00, even if he stays up until 11:00. He is very crabby on those days. He enjoys his alone time in the early morning.

 

Ds9 sleeps until around 7:30 or 8:00. Sometime when he's up late he'll sleep in later.

 

I have always preferred a full 8.5-9 hours of sleep for myself.

 

I am exactly half introverted and half extroverted. So, during the day I am very happy to be with the kids. I greatly enjoy my time with people and feel recharged when I'm with them. But just as equally, I need my alone time in the evening and feel recharged when I'm alone. There's just something about knowing that at any moment someone might say, "Have you seen my toothbrush?" or "Oops, I spilled some milk all over the kitchen floor," that makes me unable to relax. Even though I'm not "entertaining" anyone, I just need to know that no one will require anything of me. Anything. If I don't have that time where I feel completely off the clock, I end up staying up very, very late to get it. So, if the boys are up until 10:00 I find myself up until 12:00 or 1:00 to get that down time.

 

And then I'm the crabby one in the morning!

 

It's very interesting to hear what other people do. Perhaps a good compromise will be to work on relaxing even though the kids are awake by letting them stay up later in their room. (No spilled milk that way.)

This is me exactly as well. I know exactly what you are getting at!

 

Btw, I have a friend who puts her three to bed at 8:30. Her oldest is 14, then 13, then 10. I don't know if they read in bed or what. I was very surprised to hear that she could pull that off with teens and tweens! Pretty sure our bedtime will be changing by then...

[mamaraby]

I'm impressed. I've never been able to get my kids to go to bed that early. What time do your kids get up?

6-6:30am. My 4yo and 9yo will get up that early no matter what time they went to bed. The only difference being when they go to bed later (even the 9yo), they are not pleasant to be around. No dice on getting them to sleep in later, either. So, 7pm bedtime for all children as a matter of necessity.

[Erin]

12 and 14.  

"I said, NOW!"   :mad:

(8:00)

 

 

Funny that this topic was at the very top of the board when I was in the process of grumping at them to get ready for bed.  lol

So far as wake-up time, Bean is up around 6:30, Buck can sleep in til 8 or 9!!

[Kevin'sMom]

We have a nine-year-old and a ten-year-old. They go to bed at 8:00 sharp, EVERY night, including the weekends. Once in a while, they go to bed an hour early. They know when bedtime is and no one complains.

[AmandaVT]

My dc were 9 and 12 before we allowed them to stay up until 9. Before then, it was 8 each night we were home. Actually, it was 7-7:30 for many years. Happily, even with those early bedtimes, they slept until 7:30-8. I *like* having early bedtimes, because it gave Mr. Ellie and me a few hours of adult time in the evening.

 

I might have felt differently, though, if they were the kind of early birds who were up at 6 a.m. o_0

 

 

This is us, except mine isn't 9 yet. We head up around 730 on a typical night and he's usually asleep between 8-830 (we read for a bit before I head back downstairs). He wakes up at 7am most days. If he goes to bed later, he'll wake up at 7 as normal or even earlier. We had a busy weekend away this past weekend and ds was up until 930 one night. By 6am he popped out of bed ready for the day. By about 430 pm, he was an overtired mess. 

 

I also very much enjoy the few hours of adult time DH and I get during the evenings after DS goes to bed.

[MiMi 4under3]

My kids (12, 11, 10, 10) have to be "in bed" by 8:00 on school nights.  They are free to read, write, or do a craft/hobby quietly without exiting their bedroom.

 

Depending on the time they woke up that morning, or their activity level during the day, I will say goodnight and turn lights out between 8:30 - 9:30.  Closer to 8:30 during dark winter months, and closer to 9:30 during spring and summer.

[Heidi]

My little kids go to bed at 8, but my three big girls go to bed at 9. Everyone gets ready for bed at 8. Some nights I will read to the Bigs from 8-9, and some nights I let them listen to an audio book or read without me if I am not in the mood to be "mom."