Would You Do This? -- Update in #82

[Gil]

Buddy wants to cut his hair. He has been bugging me for about 3 months now. I was going to let him do it, but both of his grandmothers said "Don't you dare do it!"

Buddy has adorable curly hair. He does not want to go to a barber--he wants to use scissors and clippers to cut his own hair. He's never cut his own hair before but he really, really wants to. I'm thinking of letting him.

 

Worst case scenario is I'll have to buzz his hair (or shave him bald) if he can't live with his handiwork and maybe a few nicks on his scalp.

 

Its just hair right?

If this is a horrible, horrible idea please talk me out of it.

 

ETA: Oh, Buddy is 7 years old.

[Snickerdoodle]

It's just hair.

[Catwoman]

I wouldn't encourage such a little guy to start cutting his own hair, mainly because I'd be afraid he might cut himself, but also because the end result probably won't be what he's picturing in his mind and he may end up being quite disappointed.

 

Sure, it's just hair, but you can't put it back if he hates his handiwork. ;)

[JessReplanted]

From looking at your siggy, he must be 6 or 7?  If so, then there's no way I'd let him do it.

I would take him to get a haircut though andpick out his 'style'. 

 

If he was a teenager who wanted to cut his own hair, I'd let him do it.

[*Lulu*]

I agree with Cat.

 

What if you tell him he can have it cut however he pleases (if you're really okay with that), help him find a picture of what he wants, and let a pro do the actual cut?

[In The Great White North]

As long as you're happy with a crew cut . . 

 

Even hair dressers/barbers don't cut their own hair (shave, yes; cut with scissors, no)  It's never a success.  He'll definitely need a buzz cut.

 

It'll grow out in a few months.  A buzz cut will be cooler and easier for summer but he might need to put sunscreen on the top of his head  

[Gil]

I agree with Cat.

 

What if you tell him he can have it cut however he pleases (if you're really okay with that), help him find a picture of what he wants, and let a pro do the actual cut?

 

His grandma has told him this exact thing. She has offered but he wasn't interested.

[Word Nerd]

Nope. Just because he wants to do something doesn't make it a good idea.

[mathmarm]

I'd be loathe to do it, but if it meant that much to him, I might allow it on the condition that

1) Before and after pictures

2) he live with his handiwork at least 2 weeks (so the lesson of action-and-consequence sinks in a bit.)

3) he will allow a pro to fix his hair if he screws it up really badly.

[Loowit]

Nope, I wouldn't do it.  Why doesn't he want a barber or hairdresser to do it?  My boys love going to their barber shop.  The shop has fee popcorn, pop, and a TV at every station to watch while they are getting their cut.  Would it help to take him to a few places to see if he likes any of them?

[Snickerdoodle]

Sure, it's just hair, but you can't put it back if he hates his handiwork. ;)

 

I'm pretty sure it would be one of those things that happens only once. 

[Snickerdoodle]

Maybe it's just a 7yo rebellion against other people being so invested in what his hair looks like.   I mean maybe he's getting too many comments on how adorable his hair is.     LOL   Who knows what goes on in the 7yo brain.

[Megbo]

I would probably let him make the first few snips, then finish the job myself. My 6yo is talking about cutting off his long hair, and we've agreed that he can cut the ponytail.  

[poppy]

No way. Buy him one of those hair styling heads, at most.

[Gil]

Nope, I wouldn't do it.  Why doesn't he want a barber or hairdresser to do it?  My boys love going to their barber shop.  The shop has fee popcorn, pop, and a TV at every station to watch while they are getting their cut.  Would it help to take him to a few places to see if he likes any of them?

 

I don't know. Our barber shop isn't anything nice like that, but it certainly isn't a dump. When the boys were little I cut their hair at home--I just shampoo and condition it while their in the bath, pull it out over a comb and *snip* an inch or two off. Buddys hair was so curly that I didn't really worry if it were 'just right'. Once its dry he's fine.

 

I started getting them professional haircuts regularly when they started school but Buddy wants to cut his own hair now. Honestly, I didn't think it would be a problem, but after seeing his grandmas reactions and hearing my friends hair-horror stories I'm rethinking it a bit and feeling conflicted...

[mom2bee]

To heck with that! Just wait until the next time he's ready for a haircut, then let him cut it with you nearby. If he does a hackjob--he was on his way to the barber for a buzzcut anyway.

 

If he likes and wants to live with his handiwork, then you just saved what--$8? Get the kid an ice cream instead.

[plansrme]

No way, and I am way out there on the "let

'em be independent" scale. I mean waaaaay out. But I would not let a 7 year old cut his own hair. What good could possibly come of it?

[Gil]

To be honest I'm mostly concerned that he will do an embarrassingly horrible job and then stubbornly refuse all 'patch job' offers or attempts. We are coming up on summer and I'll have to be out and about with him a lot.

 

:blushing:

 

 

[momto10blessings]

If he wants it cut, definitely get it cut. I think that if you take him to a barber and ask if he can do the first few snips they wouldn't mind. I'm not sure I would let him cut it all the way himself unless he was willing to buzz it afterwards. It would be a huge mess, but memorable. 7 is usually old enough to know not to cut it or someone else's hair without permission

[Alice]

Yes. My husband cuts our boys hair (and he cuts his own too :)). If you have clippers it's not that hard to do and you can probably fix it. 

 

It sounds like it's something really important to him and in the grand scheme of things it's not that big a deal even if it ends up as a complete buzz cut. 

[Lolly]

Eh, I'd let him. I would make sure he realized that it isn't likely to look good because even professionals don't cut their own hair. I would have him agree to get a professional cut, or a buzz by you, when/if it turns out to look bad. As far as I can see, the worst thing that could happen would be that he might LIKE the results he achieves and want to walk around looking like that.... If he does get upset at his results, tough, time for the buzz.

[Luanne]

I would let him let someone else who knows what they are doing cut it, but I wouldn't let him do it himself.  My sister has cut hair professionally for over 30 years and she doesn't cut her own hair.

[Starr]

You have to decide what you can live with. He's 7, he may well like the cut he does himself. It wouldn't be fair to let him cut it and then say you don't like it. You know now you won't like it. lol 

[Unicorn.]

To be honest I'm mostly concerned that he will do an embarrassingly horrible job and then stubbornly refuse all 'patch job' offers or attempts. We are coming up on summer and I'll have to be out and about with him a lot.

 

:blushing:

 

Umm, YOU are the parent.  He doesn't get to refuse if a patch job is needed.  If you don't care if he cuts his hair, then let him.  If you have an attachment to his curly locks, then don't.  It won't be pretty, so be prepared for that if you do let him, and be prepared, as others have said, for a buzz job after.

 

[Tammi K]

My 7ish year old begged to be allowed to have his brother and sister (9 and 12 at the time) do his.  They used a clippers and did a fine ( albeit messy) job. I suggest an outdoors location! The only problem they encountered was that they decided to try to trim the neck area with a scissors first and they took a hunk of skin. I have no idea why they felt they needed a scissors if they were going to use a clippers, but I felt it better to distance myself from the event. :001_rolleyes: It's still a talking point ( and laughing point) to this day.  Seriously, he thinks of it as a mark of bravery!

[Joker]

My little brother would be sneaky and take clippers to cut his own hair well before he was seven. It was always interesting but he never hurt himself. Most times my dad had to give him a buzz cut afterward but it never bothered him. I would think if he was supervised he would be okay.

[Desert Strawberry]

I cut my own hair. I am not crazy about the idea of my kids cutting their own hair. 

 

If I were to agree, there would have to be solid ground rules. Clippers only, you get to clean it up when he's done. 

[alef]

I'd let him do it, but I'm not picky about hair cuts and I lean towards giving my kids freedom to try things when the risks are acceptable. A bad hair cut or an accidental nip with the scissors fall under the category of acceptable risks IMO.

[abba12]

As long as I could be reasonably sure he couldn't cut himself (I can't really imagine how scissors could cut the scalp unless they're REALLY sharp, and clippers are safe enough if he is responsible) I would let him do it, and make him live with the consequences for a little while (depending on how severely it needs fixing!). He obviously really wants to, and I would say no the first time as well, but if he's been asking for 3 months I'd just let him go ahead and find out for himself that maybe mummy does know what she's talking about when she says it won't work. He's not 4, he's 7. Seems old enough to have some basic sense about how to use scissors to me.

 

Regarding safety, maybe make a condition that he has to let you trim down around the ears and on the neck first, since those are the areas where he actually could hurt himself if he's not careful.

[Julie Smith]

I'd let him do it, but I'm not picky about hair cuts and I lean towards giving my kids freedom to try things when the risks are acceptable. A bad hair cut or an accidental nip with the scissors fall under the category of acceptable risks IMO.

My own hair style rule is you have to wash it occasionally and it can't be in your eyes. So if you want it long you have to keep it out of your eyes and wash it more often.

 

That is how I need up with youngest having, according to him the coolest hair style ever.... A mullet.

[poppy]

My concern isn't so much for how it will look, or even for safety, but for the fact that you're pretty much setting him up for failure.  This isn't something he can reasonably accomplish, even if he tries really hard.  (I agree he might be able to pull off a buzz, but the scissors-nope).  I am all for pushing kids past their comfort zone and allowing them to try and possibly fail, but I'm not so fond of giving them tools they can't use. 

 

I let my 5 year old chop veggies with a real knife under supervision. But if she said she wants to julienne potatoes, I'd tell her she's not able to yet.  No "If you don't succeed I'll fix it for you" since I know, flat out, it's not something she's able to do.

[Carrie12345]

Definitely no.

My kids are allowed to have their hair pretty much however they want. But the cutting is done by people who know what they're doing!

[Garga]

Ok--I'm picturing my child coming up and asking me the same thing.

 

First, I would listen to his request and take it seriously.

Then I would ask him why he wants to do it. (Because he wants to know what the sensation is like? Because it looks like fun? Because he really, really wants to do this all by himself?)

Then, I would tell him about how professionals don't cut their own hair because it's super hard to cut their own hair. I'd have a website ready, if possible, to show him how professionals can't even cut their own hair.

 

Then, I'd have a session with him where you two work out a compromise. I'd get out a sheet of paper and title it, "I want to cut my own hair."

 

With his contributions, I'd write the list of pros and cons. (cons being nicked skin, bad looking cut, etc.)

 

Then, I'd come up with ideas on how to go about the haircut. I would steer him toward the idea of him starting the haircut and then going to an appointment for the professional to take over. He could decide if he wants the professional to take over that day, or if he wants to wait 2 weeks until it happens. Also, he would need to be willing to listen very carefully to your instructions on how to use the scissors or clippers.

 

If you write it all out and set up a timeline and make it official, you'll likely not run into stubborn resistance when it's time to go to the professional if he messes it up.

 

That's exactly how I would handle it. But I can totally understand his desire to cut his own hair. Oh my goodness, it sounds like so much fun to cut your own hair! I wish I could cut mine! If you are a parent who just doesn't see the draw to cutting ones own hair, you might not be as willing to indulge.

 

P.S. I have a friend with naturally curly hair who cuts her own hair and it looks great. Curls are very forgiving with haircuts. My straight hair would show any little slip of the scissors. He may end up with a perfectly fine cut.

[Harriet Vane]

It's all too easy for me to picture snipped fingertips or snipped ears or a bleeding scalp. It's very hard to exercise any coordination over one's own head, and he's awfully young.

 

I would absolutely let him pick his own hairstyle and force the barber to go along with whatever he says, but I would not allow him to cut his own hair. Fingers are just too important.

[Danestress]

My concern isn't so much for how it will look, or even for safety, but for the fact that you're pretty much setting him up for failure. This isn't something he can reasonably accomplish, even if he tries really hard. .

I think that is true.

 

On the other hand, it think kids need lots of experience with failure. They need failure and then to see that life goes on and they are fine. Some kids just have to learn things the hard way, and when there is no real long term harm, maybe it's best to let them try things and fail.

 

I think a seven year old can handle scissors. So say he does it and it looks horrible. Either he doesn't see how horrible it is and likes the result, or he does see and gets a buzz cut, having figured out for himself that hair cutting is an actual skill.

[Word Nerd]

I disagree emphatically that curls are very forgiving with haircuts, and I have had more than one bad haircut that proves that point--as have most curly girls, I would guess.

[Kerileanne99]

I am actually quite surprised that there are so many against this! I consider this a perfect opportunity to learn not only natural consequences but the best concept ever: it takes a lot of practice to get good at something.

I like Garga' s practical and logical approach. Ask him why, what he thinks will happen, make sure he is prepared for the consequences of a bad haircut. I would probably try to reason with him about trying a few cuts, leaving it as LNG as possible at first, just in case. I would probably have him watch a couple of YouTube videos on technique, even knowing that it won't help:) let him see that professional barbers still go through training and must put forth time and effort to get good results.

If he still wants to go for it, why not? Especially with summer coming up. Perfect time for a short cut, as long as there are no major events/family pics coming up that YOU might be worried about (and even then!).

 

What a great opportunity to learn...without serious, dire consequences. I think it is great that you are even considering it. And I think it will make so much more of an impact. In the future when he is considering some foolhardy, potential for disaster situation you can reference it...and he will always remember that mom let him figure it out for himself rather than dictating the proper way.

[Gil]

I disagree emphatically that curls are very forgiving with haircuts, and I have had more than one bad haircut that proves that point--as have most curly girls, I would guess.

 

For clarification, Buddy is a boy. So is Pal. So am I.

I would say that Buddys hair looks something like...this fellow. Only Buddy is older and his hair is a little bit longer.

Clarification--This is NOT my son, just a pic off of Google.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I might, with supervision.

[solascriptura]

Double standard here. A boy, sure, why not. My girls with shiny, thick, long hair, no way. ;)

[Joker]

My youngest, who is a girl, also was able to sneak the scissors at about age 4. She had curly hair and cut the hair on only half her head. She didn't hurt herself and was okay after a brand new (extremely short) haircut. It wasn't the end of the world and it grew back.

[foxbridgeacademy]

I'd so let him, even encourage him.  One he will feel very empowered, after all he did it himself, and two it will help him get that kind of "need" for experimentation out of his system at a young age.  Better now then when he's a teenager and wants to dye it green and have liberty spikes.  He will have already BTDT and would have settled into a comfortable place.  Yes it will be sad to see his baby curls go, but his self "picture" will match inside and out.  Imagine if you had to go around with long curly hair or short sheared hair when you just know you'd look better (in your mind-not always reality) with a totally different style.  Hair is easy, give it a few months and it will grow back.  As for him doing it himself, I would worry about cutting/nicks.  Make sure that the shears have a guard and the scissors are "safety" style.  Before he cuts you can take a couple locks to put in special necklaces for the grandmothers or just wrap in cellophane and put away.  And yes I let my children pretty much do what ever they want to their hair.  My son's brown hair is longish with blond tips, my daughter's (used to be dark blond) is super short pixie and dyed black.  They've both went through more extreme hair styles and are almost over the whole thing.  DD wants to slowly get back to her natural color and DS has no interest in dying his hair again.  Both my nephews did similar drastic hair styles and have a BTDT attitude now.

[reign]

I would let him, but I would fix it if he butchered it.

[Mommyof4ks]

I'd be loathe to do it, but if it meant that much to him, I might allow it on the condition that

1) Before and after pictures

2) he live with his handiwork at least 2 weeks (so the lesson of action-and-consequence sinks in a bit.)

3) he will allow a pro to fix his hair if he screws it up really badly.

I totally agree with this. 7 years ago I would have never let my kids do something like that, but after having a child lose his hair during chemo, I honestly do not care what my kids do with their hair as long as I get good pix before in case it turns out badly.

 

At least he came to you before just cutting it himself without your knowledge. :)

[gardenmom5]

I have two boys wiht beautiful curly hair. (one daughter got it.)

 

he's a boy (who customarily have shorter hair) - and he wants to cut it.  let him.

let me tell you, boys aren't necissisarily kind to boys with beautiful curly hair.  

 

[LMD]

I'd consider it. I'd probably look up some how to style videos on YouTube with him first and supervise... But yeah, just hair. I've successfully cut my own before!

[Catwoman]

To heck with that! Just wait until the next time he's ready for a haircut, then let him cut it with you nearby. If he does a hackjob--he was on his way to the barber for a buzzcut anyway.

 

If he likes and wants to live with his handiwork, then you just saved what--$8? Get the kid an ice cream instead.

Boys' haircuts only cost $8.00 where you live??? :svengo:

 

I really think we should have moved away from here years ago. We pay too much for everything. :glare:

[LMD]

I'd consider it. I'd probably look up some how to style videos on YouTube with him first and supervise... But yeah, just hair. I've successfully cut my own before!

[jenn-]

How about investing in a good set of hair clippers and sticking a 1" comb on it? It will definitely be short if he looks like the picture above, but it sounds like what he will end up with anyways if you turn him loose with scissors. It would take talent to hurt himself with the attachment on.

[Lolly]

Can I say how impressed I am with your son? He actually came to you and asked permission to cut his hair. Most kids just sneak and do it; better to beg forgiveness than to ask and be denied... And, I take it back, sometimes the cuts do turn out alright. My dd21 first cut her hair at 4. It was long, long, long. She cut it into a lovely pixie. I did have to take her to a professional after, but they actually just brought it on around back and evened the two sides up a tiny bit. She was maybe a fourth to half inch off from right to left. Not bad for a 4 yo! Then, she cut her little sisters hair a year later. I don't remember having to take her in to even anything up. It was just shorter than I would have wanted. The other sister ran too fast, so she didn't get a haircut...Then, she started cutting her own hair again at about 10. Just the bangs. She cut them all the way through high school when she wanted to. I usually never even noticed. So, it is possible to do a decent self-cut. I'm still voting for letting him have a try, especially since he actually asked permission!