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Prayer Request: My Mom has cancer

RoughCollie

By RoughCollie,
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RoughCollie

RoughCollie

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My Mom just called and said she has endometrial cancer. She is going to the oncologist tomorrow. She will be 78 in a couple of months. As you can imagine, she is quite distressed. She has to cancel her upcoming final trip to Germany to see her family, too.

 

She'll have to have a hysterectomy. My plan is to go to Atlanta a few days before her surgery, and stay there until she has recovered. There isn't anyone else who can do this because my brother has no contact with her (for no good reason) and my sister has a full-time job and 9 cats (rescued stray had kittens and even after she had them spayed and neutered, she couldn't find homes for them.) There is no one my sister can leave her cats with -- at least there hasn't been in the past. My sister doesn't know about this yet.

 

So, please pray for my Mom. She lives alone, and hasn't told anyone but me about this yet.

 

Thank you,

RC

 

PS I'm also concerned about my family. I have three kids graduating this year, plus DD will be going to the Prom, and it looks like I won't be here for any of that. Also, I am supposed to have a few stents put in within the next couple of months, and I won't be here for that either. Of course, I'll know more when my mom finds out her surgery date and estimated recovery time.

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Night Elf

Night Elf

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:grouphug:

 

FWIW, I don't know if expenses are an issue but there are companies that offer pet care services. When we go on vacation, we hire a pet sitter to come in once a day to make sure the cats have food and to give them a little attention. Cats are really okay on their own for a while as long as they have fresh food and water. We're gone for 5 or 6 days. They do charge extra for more than one animal though, so it can be quite an expense.

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RoughCollie

RoughCollie

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Thank you for your prayers and ideas.

 

Mom can't come to my house to recover because I live 700 miles from Atlanta.

 

It would be nice if my sister hires a pet care service and at least visit our Mom while I'm there, but not sure what she will do. My sister hasn't even met my kids because of her animals. She never trusted anyone with her dogs. Maybe she'll be more amenable to leaving TX to visit our Mom b/c this is sort of an emergency situation. She lives 300 miles from the nearest airport that has flights to Atlanta. It's not that she's unloving, quite the contrary. She is single and has no kids, so her animals are like children to her.

 

DS3 still has several more weeks of care before he is recovered from his surgery -- mostly, at this point, changing the dressing 3x a day, which he cannot do himself. He has a home teacher.

 

DD just texted me that she has to make a 95 average in pre-calculus for the rest of the year in order to pass the course and graduate. Never mind that I've been offering to tutor her all year because I don't think her math background is strong enough (due to her not applying herself). She has refused my help because I make sure she learns the material and she already knows everything.

 

DS1 wants me to have a hysterectomy ASAP. Not gonna happen.

 

Too bad my brother is such a jerk. He lives 30 miles away from our Mom. I called him and asked him to call me, even though from past experience, I know he won't care.

 

I'm babbling. I have been scatterbrained since Mom called me. It's like my brain is scrambled. If I knew when she was having the surgery, my brain would click into problem solving mode. I hope the oncologist gives her a date tomorrow.

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Susan C.

Susan C.

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RC :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I'm gonna be blunt... maybe you can't go. You can't damage your health and miss your appointment and procedure. And you are needed at home. Its so hard being in the sandwich, with parents and kids both needing you.

 

Does your mom have a friend that can sit with her? The only way I would go is just for surgery and a day or two after, with the date not conflicting with dd's prom (you will regret missing that) or your procedures. And it can't put your health in danger. And you have a ds recovering from surgery too..... Your plate is full at home!

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*lifeoftheparty*

*lifeoftheparty*

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Not sure if this helps, but just in case...

 

My mom had a hysterectomy last year and they used the Davinci robotic process... It was minimally invasive and she was up and moving the next day. It took 6 weeks before she felt 100% better, but it was a lot better recovery than a traditional hysterectomy. Maybe you can ask if she qualifies for that procedure.

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RoughCollie

RoughCollie

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My mom had a hysterectomy last year and they used the Davinci robotic process... It was minimally invasive and she was up and moving the next day. It took 6 weeks before she felt 100% better, but it was a lot better recovery than a traditional hysterectomy. Maybe you can ask if she qualifies for that procedure.

 

Mom said she was pretty sure she'd be having robotic surgery -- she'll find out for sure from the oncologist tomorrow. This has to be what she is talking about.

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RoughCollie

RoughCollie

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I'm gonna be blunt... maybe you can't go.

 

As soon as I get more info, like when her surgery will take place and how long she'll need me, I'll be able to plan.

 

The thing is, my mom has heart problems and only 39% kidney function, besides having cancer. These are her last years (hopefully years) and I don't want her to be without family. Her extended family is in Germany.

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Scarlett

Scarlett

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My Mom just called and said she has endometrial cancer. She is going to the oncologist tomorrow. She will be 78 in a couple of months. As you can imagine, she is quite distressed. She has to cancel her upcoming final trip to Germany to see her family, too.

 

She'll have to have a hysterectomy. My plan is to go to Atlanta a few days before her surgery, and stay there until she has recovered. There isn't anyone else who can do this because my brother has no contact with her (for no good reason) and my sister has a full-time job and 9 cats (rescued stray had kittens and even after she had them spayed and neutered, she couldn't find homes for them.) There is no one my sister can leave her cats with -- at least there hasn't been in the past. My sister doesn't know about this yet.

 

So, please pray for my Mom. She lives alone, and hasn't told anyone but me about this yet.

 

Thank you,

RC

 

PS I'm also concerned about my family. I have three kids graduating this year, plus DD will be going to the Prom, and it looks like I won't be here for any of that. Also, I am supposed to have a few stents put in within the next couple of months, and I won't be here for that either. Of course, I'll know more when my mom finds out her surgery date and estimated recovery time.

 

 

 

You poor woman! :( So sorry for all of this...and I hope you find a way to get through it.

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RoughCollie

RoughCollie

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Is it possible for her to have the surgery where you are? Then she could recover at your home. Lots of people travel for surgeries and cancer treatment.

 

 

She won't do it. First, she thinks Atlanta docs are better than those here. Second, she is used to living alone, and having a noisy and active family around gets on her nerves after a day or two. Over the past few decades, she has become an introverted loner.

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RoughCollie

RoughCollie

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I just talked to my Mom. The good news is that she expects me to bring my dog. I told her to be sure to ask about the surgery date, when the surgeon will have a prognosis, how this will effect her other health problems, and the anticipated recovery period. She told my sister, but I haven't heard from her yet.

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RoughCollie

RoughCollie

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No, Chucki. All of the extended family members live in Germany. My Mom hasn't told any of them about this yet. I am hoping my sister comes through with an offer to come to Atlanta to help Mom, so I'm not the only one she has to rely on. Her friends will stop by to visit and bring food, but they are busy with their own lives and the ones that are ambulatory are much younger than she.

 

Tonight Mom said that if I didn't offer to come, she would have gone to the Ritz Carlton for a few nights. She has an article about the robotic surgery, and now thinks she will be able to handle everything herself because the hotel has room service. She may have been joking; it's hard to tell sometimes.

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*lifeoftheparty*

*lifeoftheparty*

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No, Chucki. All of the extended family members live in Germany. My Mom hasn't told any of them about this yet. I am hoping my sister comes through with an offer to come to Atlanta to help Mom, so I'm not the only one she has to rely on. Her friends will stop by to visit and bring food, but they are busy with their own lives and the ones that are ambulatory are much younger than she.

 

Tonight Mom said that if I didn't offer to come, she would have gone to the Ritz Carlton for a few nights. She has an article about the robotic surgery, and now thinks she will be able to handle everything herself because the hotel has room service. She may have been joking; it's hard to tell sometimes.

 

 

With the robotic surgery, my mom only had 5 or 6 incisions that were each an inch long. There was no taking care of the incisions really. She just couldn't submerse in water for a few days. She kept the bandage on until it fell off, maybe a few days. The hospital stay was only 24 hours after surgery.

 

She was able to walk up the stairs to her room, she just couldn't do it multiple times a day. She felt really sore and bloated from the gas they pump in you, but she wasn't really in "pain" pain.

 

After the first week, she felt so good she tried to tell me that it was fine to go ride her bike! I made her take a walk first and she realized that she should ease back into things ;)

 

For the record though, my mom is 53, not 78. And she just had large cysts, not cancer. So her recovery might not be as easy as my moms, but I'm betting that it will be a lot easier than a traditional surgery :)

 

Praying for you and your family!!

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Terabith

Terabith

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I'm so sorry, and definitely praying. I would be careful, in that I don't think you should miss graduations, proms, or your surgery to care for your mother. Those are important for your life and the life of your children. Going there immediately thereafter makes sense, but it doesn't make sense for you to stay with her (vs her coming to you) when the consequence is damage to your health and missing important milestones in your children's lives.

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RoughCollie

RoughCollie

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Well, Terabith, it things are looking up. My Mom's surgery is scheduled for April 29, and with any luck, I'll only be there for 3 weeks. I have a friend who will handle the prom if I'm not here for that. DD told me today that she is only going because her boyfriend wants to. She's already got the dress and shoes.

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Tiramisu

Tiramisu

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I've been wondering about your son and how he's doing, and now I learn about everything else you're going through. I'm so sorry. I'll pray that all of what you're facing goes smoothly and all of you will be recovered and back to normal soon.

 

FWIW, I know the timing stinks, but I think you are setting a great example for your dc in going to care for your mother. :grouphug:

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