Unexpected news...

[Lisa in SC]

So. I promise I am not a troll. I've been a member of the forums for a long time, although my post count is quite low. I guess I should socialize with y'all a bit more. :)

 

With that out of the way, I have to get this out. My dh works out of town through the week, so I'm just kind of "here" hanging out with some news I received a couple of hours ago (dh knows...he just needs to sleep). It seems that I'm to be a grandma! Wow. This was rather unexpected. My oldest (20) came to me in tears to show me her very positive test. No, she's not married or engaged. I know this fact will cause some to judge her (and, possibly, me). This has been my "difficult" child since the day she was born. My difficult, stubborn, "I'll make my own way," determined, beautiful, creative, intelligent, compassionate, caring, daring, wonderful, wonder-filled daughter. I have to say...well, I'm excited!! This is obviously not the ideal, but...but...but...it's a baby!!! :D

 

There are *many* questions, dilemmas, etc., such as: she'll be moving mid-pregnancy, so how do we figure out pre-natal care? She's still on our insurance, so we'll need to figure out coverage for the baby. So many more.

 

On a more selfish note, I'm still coming to grips with the grandma thing. I'm 43. I don't feel like a grandma! Lol. I'm really excited, but also concerned for dd. She's all over the place emotionally, which I understand.

 

Honestly, I have no idea what the heck my point even is. I guess that I needed to share. Thanks for reading my aimless, ridiculous ramblings! :)

[GWOB]

All babies should be celebrated. Hugs, momma. Congrats on becoming a grandma!!! There is no required grandma uniform. You can act/dress as young as you feel. Your grand baby will enjoy having a young grandma. Your dd will figure it out. So will you. It will be ok. Babies are cute and they smell heavenly.

[A.Balaban]

Hello and Congratulations!

 

It sounds like you all are being supportive of her and I think that the questions and dilemmas will solve themselves with time.

 

The one thing you didn't mention in your post, but....Has she told the Dad? What's that situation like?

 

For prenatal care, I would see about starting prenatal care at her current location as soon as possible. Does she know whereabouts she is moving? If so, she can call an OB/GYN practice in that area and let them know her situation.... It will work itself out, but def. do not wait until after the move to schedule an OB/GYN practice. Another consideration, is how far is she moving? (Is this still feasible pregnant? Financial support? Job? Daycare? etc?) If she is not moving that far, she could find a practice at a half-way location and travel a bit further but stay at the same practice. Or hold off the move until after the baby is born?

 

Babies change plans....

[Catwoman]

Congratulations on your future grandbaby!

 

Your dd is lucky to have such a supportive and loving mom.

[Starr]

Wishing you well with all the complexities and congratulations. Nothing like a cute, young, grandma. :D

[justamouse]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

There were many things she could have done...instead, she came to you and told you. You did well.

 

 

Congratulations!

[Belacqua]

As you say...it's a baby! A baby who already has a grandma who thinks he or she hung the moon.

 

Congratulations and best wishes to your family.

[Lisa in SC]

Hello and Congratulations!

 

Thanks! :)

 

It sounds like you all are being supportive of her and I think that the questions and dilemmas will solve themselves with time.

 

The one thing you didn't mention in your post, but....Has she told the Dad? What's that situation like?

 

That is an, er, interesting situation. No, the Dad doesn't know. He's in FL at school, and she wants to wait until next weekend when he's back on Christmas break to tell him in person. They've been on again/off again for almost 2 years. He's a great guy, but I honestly don't know how he'll take the news. The on again/off again is not because of any real "issues," other than the long distance factor. By that, I only mean that there are no concerning behaviors, etc. that I'm aware of.

 

For prenatal care, I would see about starting prenatal care at her current location as soon as possible. Does she know whereabouts she is moving? If so, she can call an OB/GYN practice in that area and let them know her situation.... It will work itself out, but def. do not wait until after the move to schedule an OB/GYN practice. Another consideration, is how far is she moving? (Is this still feasible pregnant? Financial support? Job? Daycare? etc?) If she is not moving that far, she could find a practice at a half-way location and travel a bit further but stay at the same practice. Or hold off the move until after the baby is born?

 

She still lives with us. She attended college for a year, decided it wasn't for her (see previously mentioned "I'll do it my way" lol), and is now about halfway through Paul Mitchell's cosmetology program. We're moving after our 2nd dd graduates from high school due to dh's job. She's been planning to move when we do all along, as she'll be finishing school and wants to look for employment, apartment, etc. in the same city. It's 3 hours from where we are right now. We'll have to figure out what location will be best for OB, or if we can transfer care midway through. Daycare will likely be me, which is fine.

 

Babies change plans....

 

They certainly do! :)

 

 

All babies should be celebrated. Hugs, momma. Congrats on becoming a grandma!!! There is no required grandma uniform. You can act/dress as young as you feel. Your grand baby will enjoy having a young grandma. Your dd will figure it out. So will you. It will be ok. Babies are cute and they smell heavenly.

 

Thanks for your kind words! I literally have tears in my eyes (maybe I'm as hormonal as my dd, but for different reasons lol). I agree, babies are wonderful, and their smell is indescribable.

[StaceyinLA]

I became a granny at 43. My dd married the month before her 19th bday, moved to Hawaii with her military husband, and had her first baby three weeks before her 20th bday. She turned 21 this past August, and is having baby #2 any day now.

 

I LOVE being a granny! I love that I'm still young and have the energy to keep up with these little ones.

 

 

[Lisa in SC]

Congratulations on your future grandbaby!

 

Your dd is lucky to have such a supportive and loving mom.

 

I have to say, Cat, that I so often find myself agreeing and/or literally laughing out loud at your posts, because I think you're amazing, wise, and so, so funny! Tonight, though, I'm just very grateful for the fact that you're sweet too. Thanks!!

[Lisa in SC]

Wishing you well with all the complexities and congratulations. Nothing like a cute, young, grandma. :D

 

:laugh: Well, "young" I may be, but I'm not so sure about the cute part. I have, what, 8 months or so to work on that, right? :D

[Lisa in SC]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

There were many things she could have done...instead, she came to you and told you. You did well.

 

 

Congratulations!

 

:grouphug: Awww...thanks!

[Lisa in SC]

As you say...it's a baby! A baby who already has a grandma who thinks he or she hung the moon.

 

Congratulations and best wishes to your family.

 

Thanks! You know, as I'm sitting here all teary, it's really hitting me. There's nothing, absolutely nothing like being a mommy. But, wow, thinking of my grandchild just really gets to me. I already know how much my dd will love this little one, but she doesn't understand yet. You can't know what you haven't had. Goodness, I just found out and I'm head over heels already. Thinking of what an incredible thing it will be to watch her fall in love with this wee one is just making me so weepy I don't know what to do with myself. It's not going to be smooth sailing, of this I am well aware, but the journey will be most worthwhile.

[Mrs Mungo]

Congratulations!!!

[GWOB]

 

 

Thanks! You know, as I'm sitting here all teary, it's really hitting me. There's nothing, absolutely nothing like being a mommy. But, wow, thinking of my grandchild just really gets to me. I already know how much my dd will love this little one, but she doesn't understand yet. You can't know what you haven't had. Goodness, I just found out and I'm head over heels already. Thinking of what an incredible thing it will be to watch her fall in love with this wee one is just making me so weepy I don't know what to do with myself. It's not going to be smooth sailing, of this I am well aware, but the journey will be most worthwhile.

 

 

It will definitely be worthwhile. I found myself unexpectedly pregnant at the age of 19. You could not pry one second of that experience out of my cold, dead hands. That made me the woman I am today. Your dd will figure it out. She has a supportive momma behind her. That means everything in the world. And now you must commit to post pics of your beautiful grand baby! We will indulge you.

[Mom-2-7]

Congratulations!!

Three years ago I was in your shoes. Right down to my age and the Paul Mitchell thing. Strange.

My daughter was afraid to tell me too. She told me on Mother's Day. I went from shock to over the top excitement in 2 seconds. She couldn't have given me a better present.

 

My dd still struggles (the baby's father is out of the picture) but my grand daughter is the light of her world....and mine.

 

Some would have said she made a mistake, but babies are NEVER a mistake. :001_smile:

[Twigs]

Congratulations!!!

:hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

[Lisa in SC]

Congratulations!!

Three years ago I was in your shoes. Right down to my age and the Paul Mitchell thing. Strange.

My daughter was afraid to tell me too. She told me on Mother's Day. I went from shock to over the top excitement in 2 seconds. She couldn't have given me a better present.

 

My dd still struggles (the baby's father is out of the picture) but my grand daughter is the light of her world....and mine.

 

Some would have said she made a mistake, but babies are NEVER a mistake. :001_smile:

 

 

Oh, wow! That is quite a coincidence we have going on. Thank you for telling me your family's story. Your dd is lucky to have you for a mom, and your dgd is lucky to have such a great mom & g'ma! You're absolutely spot on...babies are NOT mistakes! :)

[fraidycat]

Congratulations, Grandma!

[Lisa in SC]

It will definitely be worthwhile. I found myself unexpectedly pregnant at the age of 19. You could not pry one second of that experience out of my cold, dead hands. That made me the woman I am today. Your dd will figure it out. She has a supportive momma behind her. That means everything in the world. And now you must commit to post pics of your beautiful grand baby! We will indulge you.

 

 

Thanks for this! It's so good to have a place like this where people share their own stories, support others, etc. I most certainly do commit to post pics of the gorgeous baby when he/she arrives! BTW, in case anyone's wondering, my profile pic is my two daughters. The new momma-to-be is the one on the left. :D

 

ETA: Another member was thoughtful enough to remind me that I might want to temporarily remove dd's pic until the father has been told (thanks again!). So, now the pic isn't a pic of dd. Just thought I'd clarify. :)

[Melissa in Australia]

congratulations.

I really think it is commendable that your daughter felt she had such a great relationship with you that she could come and tell you. :)

Babies are so exciting.

[misidawnrn]

I became a mom at 17 and a grandma at 36. I now have 3 grandkids including my 3yo GD, my newest grandson via marriage (DIL came with a little boy) and my newest granddaughter who is 3 months. Just encourage your DD to follow her dreams of education, employment, etc. I stayed in school, went to nursing school when my son was 2, and am in Grad school now. Just because she is a younger mom, doesn't mean her life is over. The olden days of shaming an unmarried mom are gone (in my book anyway!) Congrats!!!

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Babies are blessings, no matter when they come. Your DD is lucky to have a mom who will support her through this life-changing transition into motherhood. The details will work themselves out.

[Tita Gidge]

Congratulations on the newest member of your family :)

 

I moved during pregnancy and had no issues finding good care in my new home, even though I was 8 months along.

 

Life is short and unpredictable, so one may as well embrace what comes along. You're doing that, and your family will do just fine!

[Just Kate]

Congrats to you and your family! So wonderful that your dd has a great mom who cares and loves her no matter what. And agreeing with others that 'babies are never mistakes'

[BugsMama]

I had my oldest at 19, and I wouldn't change my life for the world. It's not been easy, but being a mother is so amazing... you kind of end up glossing over those hard parts.

 

Congrats to your family.

[Mama Geek]

Congrads on becoming a grandma. You guys might want to seriously rethink your dd moving out on her own. If you guys can get along at all it would be better for the baby and your dd to be home with you for the support. If the plans with the daddy change then it might be a different story.

[PrincessMommy]

All babies should be celebrated. Hugs, momma. Congrats on becoming a grandma!!! There is no required grandma uniform. You can act/dress as young as you feel. Your grand baby will enjoy having a young grandma. Your dd will figure it out. So will you. It will be ok. Babies are cute and they smell heavenly.

 

 

 

:iagree: Babies are a blessing! Even though it isn't the way any of us may choose for our daughter's to become a mom - it's still exciting! And you'll have such a lovely blessing.

 

I'm also a first time grandma-to-be - and I don't feel like a grandma either.

[Ewe Mama]

Congratulations!!!!

[Carrie12345]

Your reaction is definitely the better of all possible reactions!

 

I was pregnant at 20, when my mom was 43. Once ds was born, she was a wonderful grandmother, but refused to give any emotional support throughout my entire pregnancy. (And I was gainfully employed and in a committed relationship!) It was a horrible way to live through my first pregnancy. I'm so glad your dd doesn't have to face that!

[Just Another Jen]

Congratulations! I can tell that you've got this and will be a great support for your daughter. As many people above have said. babies are always cause for celebration!

[amydavis]

Congratulations! I agree, babies are a blessing. Your dd is blessed to have a mom she can talk to and depend on, even when things may not seem ideal. You've done a good job. I'm sure your new grandbaby will be equally blessed by having you for a grandma.

[Mergath]

Congrats! I hope you realize that, now that you've told us, we will expect pictures when the little guy or girl is born. Some of us don't have our own babies at the moment and have to get our baby fixes vicariously. ;)

 

When I found out I was pregnant with dd, I was in my early twenties, unmarried, and in college, and now I'm a married SAHM who homeschools and has a mommy blog, lol. Just because the beginning is a bit rocky doesn't mean things won't sort themselves out fairly quickly.

[1bassoon]

How exciting!

 

I have to admit, I've played this scenario over in mind quite a bit. Dd20 has no guys on the horizon, but I once heard advice given that as parents you should think through scenarios and rehearse how you would respond.

 

Your response was just beautiful. Sounds like you'll be a wonderful grandma and you're right, your dd has no idea how much her world is going to change.

 

Congrats! :D

[Rhonda in TX]

No, it's no ideal. But you're right. It's a baby! And new life should be celebrated. :) Congratulations!

[Heatherwith4]

Yay for babies! Congratulations! :)

[In the Rain]

Congratulations! It sounds like you will be a great support to your dd.

[Parrothead]

Congratulations.

[happypamama]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

There were many things she could have done...instead, she came to you and told you. You did well.

 

 

Congratulations!

As you say...it's a baby! A baby who already has a grandma who thinks he or she hung the moon.

 

Congratulations and best wishes to your family.

 

Yes to all of this! Unexpected happens, and she is one blessed girl to have your support. Give her some more hugs and assure her that it will all work out.

 

Congratulations!!!

[MiniBlondes]

I don't really have anything to add, except a congratulations!! Your daughter and your new grandchild are already blessed to have you!

[tabinfl]

Congratulations!!

 

I am sure you and she will be able to work out the logistics... especially since you have committed yourself to welcoming this baby and working with your daughter instead of pushing her away. Regardless of how others judge you or her, having your support will make all the difference in the world not only to your daughter but also to your grandchild.

 

One of my best friends, just a year or two older than me, was welcoming grandchildren at the same time I was having my own kids (her first came when she was under 40). I've had my own difficulties being an "older" mom, but I've found friends among those in the same boat and some quite different. You probably know some "young" grandmas and don't even realize it -- but you will once you're showing photos of that precious baby around!

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Congrats and it will be a girl. Bets are open!

[Lisa in SC]

I'm running around with school related stuff at the moment, so I can't respond individually, but I wanted to thank everyone for such sweet, encouraging responses. I wondered how this morning would go, but she got up and was off to school as usual. I won't bore y'all with constant updates, but I'll probably update from time to time, and I will most definitely share pictures. I also promise to be much more social. Y'all are the best! :grouphug:

[Kathryn]

Congratulations!!!

[happyhomemaker]

Congratulations!!

 

My sister (also the difficult one for my parents) got pregnant in high school. She has settled down and become a wonderful mother. And I can't imagine our family without my precious niece!! Like others have said, ALL children are blessings!

[RoughCollie]

Congratulations! Your DD is fortunate that you are so supportive.

[Trish]

Congrads on becoming a grandma. You guys might want to seriously rethink your dd moving out on her own. If you guys can get along at all it would be better for the baby and your dd to be home with you for the support. If the plans with the daddy change then it might be a different story.

 

 

:iagree: She'll need more support than she knows. Congrats, grandma! (need to decide what you want the baby to call you when he/she is old enough) Might want to check with Catholic Charities (don't need to be Catholic) or your local Pregnancy Help Center for insurance issues or things she may need. And more support!

 

:grouphug:

[Lisa in SC]

Thanks again to everyone, for both the support and advice. She is planning to live with us even after the move due to the baby. Since the dad lives in FL, potential custody issues are another thing to consider. If he wants to be a part of things, but stays in FL to finish school, she wonders how custody will work; things like that. Thanks for the advice to check counseling services for insurance info, etc. Once dh gets back this weekend, we plan to have a big discussion to uncover many of the issues that need to be decided/untangled, etc., or at least begin to discover what our first steps need to be.

[MAIMOM]

Congratulations!!!

:hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

 

:iagree: THIS!

[sassenach]

I made my mom a grandma at 38. She and my dad were totally supportive and it only strengthened our relationships. As a mom of a 15yo, I now know just how many feelings she had to navigate and yet keep it all together for me. You're going to have so much fun with that baby! Young grandmas rock!