mybluesky Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 No advice here, just lots of :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: No advice, but I hope the two of you can get some nice bonding time while going through this. It could be worth more than schooling time. It may be tricky trying to achieve it though. I wish you (both) the best through a not-so-best situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: I'm sorry. For what it's worth, we had a horrible year when ds was 12. We moved, we had a huge amount of stress. He went with dh out of town several times, we were apart for a house remodel. I planned on catching up in the summer then dh had a host of health issues and we did no school over the summer. I was so afraid to start school that fall after what was essentially a wasted year of school. I was so surprised at how well he did, his ability grew in leaps. Even after we essentially wrote off that year. Even after another full year of school, we still look at that as "that year" when very little really got accomplished. I agree about the videos. I also wouldn't neglect math. Watch Khan Academy, Mental math from the Teaching Company is a great series, things like that. I agree the health care may be awkward, but I would approach it in a clinical method, like cleaning a house, it just has to be done. I know what it feel like to be so close to that macadamia nut crazy, where you want to scream STOP while you collect yourself for about a week. :grouphug: I do hope after all the initial stress of this incident passes that you'll be able to look back on this as a bonding time for your family. I hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 No advice, but lots of :grouphug::grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: first of all, you are not obsessing -- you have alot on your plate and of course you are upset. Be kind to yourself. :grouphug: my oldest broke her her hip when she was 11 -- fractured it in three places - totally non weight bearing for almost a year. It was like having an infant at first, but then we figured out what she could and could not by herself. As far as two broken arms (OUCH!), there are covers you can get at the orthopods office so he can shower/bath and not worry about water. In the beginning, you will have to do more for him,but as days go by, you will both figure out stuff that he can do alone. I wouldn't worry about being far behind in school -- my dd13 is in public school this year, and I will never again fear that her younger siblings and I are getting behind -- and she is in all honors classes. :glare: I think that your main concern here is you (yes! you!) Be forthright and honest with your doc and if you thinnk you need something to help you, ask the doct what he/'she thinks. Dealing with the loss of your doc by itself is plenty to deal with and you have other stuff going on as well. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh my gosh, you poor thing, and poor kid! It looks like you already got a lot of great ideas with regard to waterproof cast covers, bathing in swim trunks, clothing, etc. It is definitely going to be a trying time, but it's temporary- keep reminding yourself of that. He hasn't gone and permanently paralyzed himself or anything, it's a few weeks, do take a deep breath, count them down, get siblings and dh to help where possible, and do NOT stress over school etc right now. Videos, audiobooks, etc, he'll still learn stuff! I am SO sorry about your dad and all this stress piled on at the same time!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh my, I am so sorry! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cera Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Ask for an occupational therapy consult. Their specialty is helping people adapt tasks of living when they are disabled and a good one would have all kinds of tricks and suggestions for how he can get by with minimal use of his arms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Kalah, how horrible!!! I am so sorry for you and your son. The only thing I can say about the bathroom situation is try to put your nurse hat on. This is more embarrassing for your ds. Maybe try to add humor to the mix. This too shall pass, but my gosh, what an awful thing to happen at such an awful time!!!:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh my word, what a rough time you are having! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 I can't tell you how grateful I am for this group of people. Seriously! After a terrible night of sleep, I woke up feeling the lowest I've felt in a long time. My little man is still sleeping. He seems to have found his favorite sleeping position despite 2 right angle casts. Thank you so much for all the suggestions and for sharing your stories with me. We are a family who deals with everything with laughter. I will definitely go that route. I do still want him to shower often. He was showering every day. We'll figure out something. I've heard from his math tutor and she has a game plan in place to keep him on track. She doesn't think I can take dictation with it, but we'll see. The thing I'm most afraid of is that we were already pressed for time. My schedule is so full for their school, work, running the house, activities, etc. I don't have the time to sit and take dictation. I relied on him to be independent (more than I ever realized, I'm finding out). My mom and brother will help. He spends afternoons over there. Maybe they can help with school a bit. I am going to let lots of it slide. I just don't know what else to do. I have been telling myself for a month, "Just make it to Thanksgiving." That's when we take the bulk of our time off. We take until New Years. Now I don't think I'll even get that break and I'm just adding more stuff that needs to get done then. My dad has so much stuff that needs to be sold on ebay. I count on ebay to help pay for Christmas. Ugh. I didn't mean to turn this into a whine. I'm just feeling dang sorry for myself and I need to get over it. It will be okay. I know it will. I hope he's not in a lot of pain today. He didn't wake up last night so that's a good thing. Thanks again for being so kind, Everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I didn't mean to turn this into a whine. I'm just feeling dang sorry for myself and I need to get over it. It will be okay. I know it will. I hope he's not in a lot of pain today. He didn't wake up last night so that's a good thing. Thanks again for being so kind, Everyone. :grouphug: You deserve a little whine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bzymom Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: I hope things quiet down, and your son's arms heal quickly!! That is an awful lot to deal with at once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh goodness, that is a lot on your plate -- :grouphug:. I would not worry about school. As long as you can meet whatever your state requires (and if it was me, I'd be doing a lot of educational videos and audiobooks to meet our 180 days), it's not the end of the world if you don't get as much accomplished this year as you had planned. I'd focus on bonding and chilling out, and let the educational stuff slide for a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 How would you (general) handle siblings? I have no problem letting my 12yo slide. He's way ahead anyway in most subjects. Ironically, the one thing he needs work on is writing. LOL That's going to have to wait. I've got a couple concerns with my youngest. He's a great kid. Super easy going. When we got home last night from the doctor's, he went to his room and grabbed a pair of basketball shorts that are big on him and told me that these would probably fit his brother. He's very sweet and helpful. BUT, I don't want him to be resentful of the attention his brother is getting. Or the fact that he will have to do normal school while his brother is vegging on the couch with a vid. My oldest has always been my attention seeker (obviously, LOL) and I always feel like his little brother gets less of everything. I've always felt this way about my boys and try very hard to focus on my youngest, make sure he's not falling through the cracks, all the while trying not to over-compensate. It's a fine line and a tough balancing act. How would you approach school with the injured's siblings? Ds9 will be fine doing school. He likes it. Rarely balks. Maybe I'm anticipating problems that won't be an issue? Or, in a similar situation, would you guys let everyone slide? Edit to add that Nevada has no time requirements or portfolio submissions. We are completely on our own. So this is an internally driven need for school. I don't need to answer anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenMama Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Wow! I really have no words. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mchel210 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 make sure you pay the extra money for the water proof casts!! That will allow him to be alone in the shower!! I cant imagine being in that position with my son. He would die! Im sorry!! Will he be able to bend his arms? Maybe you can buy one of those attachment hoses for the toilet for him to spray clean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 make sure you pay the extra money for the water proof casts!! That will allow him to be alone in the shower!! I cant imagine being in that position with my son. He would die! Im sorry!! Will he be able to bend his arms? Maybe you can buy one of those attachment hoses for the toilet for him to spray clean. So, water proof casts are available just extra? With my younger son 4 years ago they were just starting with water proof casts. They said he didn't fit the criteria. Maybe it was the kind of break? Maybe things have changed/improved. I will definitely be spending the extra money for those! Thanks for mentioning that. I wouldn't have known otherwise. I'm thinking he should be able to figure, um, things out once he gets the permanent casts. They will stop below the elbow. He broke both arms closer to the wrist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: I have a 12 year old boy. I am so sorry for your boy and this situation. This too shall pass. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I'm so sorry for both you and your son. The one thing I can help with is the smoothies. You said you don't make them, so I'll try to give some ideas. You'll want to use the blender, not the food processor. I love to put greens in my smoothies (spinach is easiest to start with), but some blenders handle them better than others. You can start with little bits of greens and work up to larger amounts. Here are some things I like to put in smoothies: Full fat Greek yogurt (more protein, flavored if he wants it sweeter) Protein powder Spirulina powder Coconut milk Coconut water Coconut oil Chia seeds Flax seeds Avocado Any type of fruit I have around A couple baby carrots Bananas are great for flavor, sweetness, and creaminess Milk We have a peanut allergy, but I bet you could put in peanut butter... The ratio of frozen to fresh things you put in depends on how icy you like the smoothie. We don't like them super thick, so I don't put in that many frozen things. Here's what we had today as a example: Frozen peach slices Frozen blueberries 2/3 of a fresh banana 1/2 an avocado Chia seeds Big scoop of plain yogurt Coconut milk A couple good handfuls of left over spring mix Put the frozen stuff in the blender first so it's closest to the blades. If it's not sweet enough for him, you could start out using fruit juice for some of the liquid. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mchel210 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 So, water proof casts are available just extra? With my younger son 4 years ago they were just starting with water proof casts. They said he didn't fit the criteria. Maybe it was the kind of break? Maybe things have changed/improved. I will definitely be spending the extra money for those! Thanks for mentioning that. I wouldn't have known otherwise. I'm thinking he should be able to figure, um, things out once he gets the permanent casts. They will stop below the elbow. He broke both arms closer to the wrist. I was told my dd had an option when she had a cast. The lady talked me out of it and said the regular cast would be enoug. She only had a cast 3 weeks...but it was the longest 3 weeks of our lives! I have heard certain breaks cannot have the water proof cast...but if they offer it to you (or ask)...you usually have to dish out an extra $25-50 each. It is COMPLETELY worth every penny! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: You HAVE had a difficult year! Don't worry about schooling yet. See how the next few days play out and how independent your DS12 is able to be before making decisions about how much each child should still do. It will be fine. Give yourself some grace here. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh, I'm so sorry! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: That is awful. I'll be praying for you and your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 Thanks for the smooth ideas, Annie. I'm stopping by the store after work tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh Kalah. :grouphug: My word, like you needed something ELSE to worry about right now. "Both, Jake? Really, both of them?!" He kept saying, "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry." Ugh. These boys. And *he's* my cautious one! I'm pretty sure this wasn't supposed to be funny, but it made me LOL. I can SOOO see this happening with me and Moose. He's my crazy one. He's had stitches IN HIS FACE TWICE already. And the boy is just six years old! I had to step into a different role with my mom for awhile. It was embarrassing at first, and she really hated it, but now years later she says how it is nice to know she can count on me like that, and that she feels closer to me because of it. I found that faking being okay with it all made her more relaxed, and then I wasn't faking anymore. Everytime she got embarrassed or annoyed I just stated that there was no need. We all need help sometimes. This is the best suggestion, really. I've had a lot of situations with my dad now, helping take care of him these two months in the ICU, that could have been quite uncomfortable for both of us. As much as I try to preserve my dad's dignity, there are just some things that are unavoidable when one is so unable to care for themselves AND wearing nothing but a hospital gown. Now, dad's not too squeamish about it, but he does tend to 'over thank' me. But I just do the 'nurse mode' thing; just do what needs to be done, in a kind but professional-ish manner. Now of course, there have been some needs that are just TOO personal (bathroom help and tending to his bedsore on his rear end, for example), that the nurse takes care of exclusively. But as one nurse joked, we've all learned to just 'keep our eyes from looking in certain directions' while helping tend to dad. And as much as I hate that I know what dad looks like naked, LOL, it's been a blessing to both of us for me to be able to help him when he needs it. So, the less embarrased you seem, the more it will help your son. My brother in law had both his arms in casts going above the elbow for quite some time. Sister in law had to help him tend to bathroom needs. I remember her mentioning it was a tad awkward for them, lol. Try to keep your humor. And really, DO let school slide. If you think letting it slide a bit for your younger son would help him feel less like he's getting the short end of the stick, then that's what you should do. It sounds like you've got two great boys there. :001_smile: Praying for peace, patience, and refuge for you, Kalah. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh, Kalah! You definitely deserve a break (no pun intended). :grouphug::grouphug: I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh no!!!! :grouphug: I'd be making a lot of green smoothies with protein powder that he can drink with a straw. :grouphug::grouphug: We have allergies here so our regular is water, coconut milk, half a soft tofu, a couple of bananas, a large handful or two of spinach or kale, protein powder, and whatever frozen fruits I feel like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 Okay. Dumb question. Where do I get protein powder? What kind do I get? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 This may be a totally bizarre suggestion, but have you thought about a bidet for the toilet. You can buy ones that attach to your current toilet and have buttons or pedals that work for people with limited mobility. That might allow him to do self-cleaning in the bathroom. I don't know the prices so it might not be worth it. Here is an article that show detached ones, but also some pictures of attached bidets. http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Bidet :iagree:I was thinking the same thing. Even a peri bottle might be less awkward(just don't tell him what they are usually used for). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raceNzanesmom Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Okay. Dumb question. Where do I get protein powder? What kind do I get? Any vitamin aisle should have it. I prefer whey over soy, esp for a boy. Bless you all during this time! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I did not read all the replies, but this reminded me of my friend, whose son had surgery on his chest last year. He wasn't allowed to do much of anything for quite a few days, and BM hygiene was out for quite a while because of the stretching of the chest. He is older, I'd say 14 or 15, so it was into that embarrassing stage, but she had such a great attitude that it made it easy for both of them. She told him that is was an honor to be able to serve him. She compared it to Jesus washing the disciples' feet. And she truly felt that way. And it really blessed them both. As far as peeing, can he just pee in the backyard? That would make everything seem SUPER cool! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula in MS Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 How much pain is he in at this point? I broke my arm above the wrist last month and had to have surgery to pin it. It was a lot more painful than I thought. I really had no idea. The thought of 2 arms makes me a little lightheaded. My main problem for the past month is that I have not been able to sleep well. This makes it kind of difficult to focus on much of anything. I would really try to school light over the next few weeks if he is having any pain/sleep issues. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Could you get Dragon Naturally Speaking or something similiar and let him get some school work done on that. If your younger son complains, you could simply point out that your older will have to catch up the work he is not doing now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 Any vitamin aisle should have it. I prefer whey over soy, esp for a boy. Bless you all during this time! :grouphug: Thank you! He's not in much pain today, he says. We got through the morning routine with a few tears. his, not mine. We are all laughing and joking now. I'm on hold with the ortho to see when I can get him in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Okay. Dumb question. Where do I get protein powder? What kind do I get? Whey protein powder is in most vitamin/health areas. We have allergies so we either use brown rice protein powder (at the health store) or pea/amaranth protein powder shipped from Vitacost. Use maybe half of what it says at first and then build up, to get used to the very slight change in texture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Oh goodness :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: That is a lot on your plate at one time. :( No advice on dealing with any of it, but I did not want to read and not post a hug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 You don't have to get protein powder. If you do fine, but don't stress about it. Just throw other things with protein: yogurt milk flax seed nut butters Remember, chocolate milk is considered to be the perfect after work out drink for athletes because of it's proportions of protein and carbs. So give him chocolate milk. :001_smile: When does your dh come home to help? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DusksAngel Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: In a few years, you will look back on this time and laugh even though right now, it's so difficult. I would definitely have your ds12 watch educational videos, do audio books (or read if he can hold a book), and do work orally together if you are worried about school. For the siblings, this is where they learn that sometimes life hands us things we don't expect and it means we all need to step-up and adjust. So, keep doing school with them, let them know their brother will be catching up later, that accidents happen, and there are consequences. The lack of attention to one child over another is called for in this case, and I think it's good for siblings to learn that... as long as it's happening due to a circumstance such as this and not because of parental favoritism :001_smile:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 How would you (general) handle siblings?I have no problem letting my 12yo slide. He's way ahead anyway in most subjects. Ironically, the one thing he needs work on is writing. LOL That's going to have to wait. I've got a couple concerns with my youngest. He's a great kid. Super easy going. When we got home last night from the doctor's, he went to his room and grabbed a pair of basketball shorts that are big on him and told me that these would probably fit his brother. He's very sweet and helpful. BUT, I don't want him to be resentful of the attention his brother is getting. Or the fact that he will have to do normal school while his brother is vegging on the couch with a vid. My oldest has always been my attention seeker (obviously, LOL) and I always feel like his little brother gets less of everything. I've always felt this way about my boys and try very hard to focus on my youngest, make sure he's not falling through the cracks, all the while trying not to over-compensate. It's a fine line and a tough balancing act. How would you approach school with the injured's siblings? Ds9 will be fine doing school. He likes it. Rarely balks. Maybe I'm anticipating problems that won't be an issue? Or, in a similar situation, would you guys let everyone slide? Edit to add that Nevada has no time requirements or portfolio submissions. We are completely on our own. So this is an internally driven need for school. I don't need to answer anyone. When it comes to siblings this is a learning time. I know that when ds9 was hurt and could not do much of anything, the other kids rallied around and helped him. By the time ds was in a short cast and more funtional on his own, they were more ready to go back to their own roles and back to the bickering etc. But during that time that he simply could not they never resented him for having it easier, or for the attention. Only once did my oldest question why he had to do little brother's chores for a bit. I told him that I was sure that little brother would be more than willing to trade places with him if he thought recovering from such a major injury was having the easy life. He never questioned it again. This is where siblings learn to step up and accept that whether they think it is fair to them or not doesn't really matter at this point, the injured person would be happy to tend to their own needs, or complete their own things in exchange for having the injury gone. No one gets to claim unfair towards someone with a limiting injury. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :grouphug: Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Wow! That seriously stinks! I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I'm so, so sorry for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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